Get Cozy With A Hot Cup of Tea.

When it’s cold and windy outside snuggle up with a hot cup of tea.

Tea can help with your mental health it can create an alert and calm state of mind. Studies have shown that the amino acid L-theanine that is found in the tea plant alters the attention receptors in the brain and has demonstrable effects on brain waves, leading to a state of feeling and relaxation without causing drowsiness. It can also boost energy levels to help you stay alert depending on the caffeine levels in the blend.

Visit The Online Store Today

No Need To Step Outside!

www.harrisonteas.co.uk

(Currently only shipping to the UK)

#HarrisonTeas #CardiffTeaMerchant #TeaInfusions #UKTeaStore

Attitude (Psychology)

ATTITUDE!

An attitude is an emotion and belief (good or bad) portrayed by you or someone else.

In psychology, attitude is a psychological construct, a mental and emotional entity that inheres in or characterizes a person. In other words a definitive belief to a response to a situation.

A good attitude is being positive and optimistic, whilst a bad attitude is negative, judgemental, and pessimistic.

An attitude is a complex feeling and is an acquired state through life experiences and set beliefs.

Attitude is an individual’s predisposed state of mind that influences the individual’s thoughts and actions.

Prominent psychologist Gordon Allport described this latent psychological construct as “the most distinctive and indispensable concept in contemporary social psychology.” Simply put attitudes in psychology are the feelings individuals have about themselves and the world.

Attitude can be formed from a person’s past and present. Key topics in the study of attitudes include attitude strength, attitude change, consumer behavior, and attitude-behavior relationships.

For me, I have had to bite my tongue on many occasions of late when someone I have communicated with has a bad attitude and is very defensive.

I have had to tell myself this is not my fault, that this person must be going through some issues in his life that he is not telling the world about and has this attitude or invisible wall that he hides behind whilst hurling out abuse.

People that have a fear of failure will become defensive and have bad attitudes, going on their high horses shouting from the rooftops, and being loud so as not to give the game away.

People may have attitudes for the following reasons:

  1. Afraid of failure. Some people feel emabarrassed, scared and vulnerable when we feel threatened, like a cornered animal. People put up invisible barriers to “protect” themselves by expecting the worst. We figure that if we don’t expect anything good to happen, we won’t experience any letdown when things don’t go well. We haven’t developed sufficient skills to deal with life not going our way, so we shoot down any relationship or project ahead of time.
  2. Our role models (possibly our parents, teachers, partners, spouses or bosses) with negative or narcissistic controlling attitudes. We try to be strong and end up being defensive, so not to get hurt again.
  3. Acceptance and Approval. We worry what other people think of us. We worry that other people might not approve of us or like us, we decide (either consciously or unconsciously) to beat them to the punch and “not like them first”.
  4. Trauma. We have experienced significant trauma, hardship, relationship breakup, seperation or divorce, or failures, loss of a job, a business failure, including loss of a loved one.
  5. Memories. We subconsciously replaying an issue with an authority figure or someone who controlled us a syndrome known as repetition compulsion. We cannot erase our memories and we cannot forget.
  6. Mental Health Issues. We suffer from clinical depression and/or a chemical imbalance. In such cases, consulting a medical professional might be helpful.
  7. Physical Health Problems. We have a medical condition that causes us to get depressed from worry or anxiety of not knowing if our illness is curable or if we are going to die.

A bad Attitude can cause a domino effect. Treat people like you would want to be treated. If you are rude and hurtful think of the consequences of your actions.

Do not pretend to be something you are not. I see enough of this on LinkedIn with people being false and writing false stories.

Never criticize anyone without being prepared to be criticized back. I had such an incident where I innocently complimented someone for their marketing efforts and said they should comment on other people’s posts and add a link. Well, that did not go down well and this said individual went on his high horse criticizing me so when I pointed out he should not be making posts “Buy my stuff, I need to feed the kids” because it does not look professional although I did not quite use those words. I simply thought if he can throw punches and call me “needy” he should take criticism also and I said what I thought to his marketing campaign which in turn caused him to go on the defense stating that “he can write what he wants” and that it was tongue in cheek humor which obviously backfired. Yes, that is true but he can write what he wants, but he should have also accepted criticism seeing he drew the first sword. But to go to the extreme and openly criticize me in front of his audience is very unprofessional, he should have if anything directly messaged me on a private chat. His argument was that I tried to hijack his post by putting my own link in (I was not selling anything to him or his network and possibly could have helped many people including himself). He then went on to block me like I really care. What he did not realize was I was planning to book a VIP Birthday for my 60th. It is not going to happen now because he was rude and obviously thinks so highly of himself to be super special which he is not. I am not upset about losing his acquaintance as he is two a penny in my eyes, but I am upset about my ruined birthday plans.

I won’t mention his name or what industry he is in as the detectives out there can easily track him down.

I will however promote someone else’s business in the same industry for free so that he knows he bit off more than he can chew. I will make sure the company will secure global positioning and be ahead of their competitors including him.

Have I got a bad attitude, no not really, but people who do me wrong should feel my wrath.

Generally speaking, I am a nice and kind person but God helps those that rattle my cage.

Yes, I am upset, I will get over it as I am a strong person and this feeling is only temporary.

Life goes on and this person is not the only person in his industry offering the service I wanted. As my daughter said, “it’s hard luck for him as he has lost a lot of business, through blocking me for no real reason”

Marketing – Adding links within posts providing you are not selling anything and they are quality links, they are not harmful and should not be deemed as unprofessional or an attempted highjacking of the author’s posts. In fact, social media does not penalize a person for having links inside their posts.

My LinkedIn post saying I was upset went viral and had lots of messages of support. So there are good people out there and I even had some sign-ups for my group “Disabled Entrepreneur”.

Treat people with respect and have a good attitude to life. Never criticize or be judgmental as this can cause mental health issues for the victim. Act professional and if you have something to say message the person privately, not publically.

If you are experiencing any issues please visit our useful links page or alternatively if you have difficultly finding support just drop us a line using the form below and we will be happy to send you some links. If your matter is urgent please contact your local doctor’s surgery or emergency services.

#goodattitude #badattitude #attitude #mentalhealth #stress #depression #anxiety #positivethoughts #negativethoughts #grief #trauma #respect

Emotional Distress Compensation

Emotional Distress Compensation.

Emotional Distress Compensation.

What is Emotional Distress?

Emotional Distress is the intentional infliction of emotional discomfort on another person and is a common law tort that allows people to sue organizations and individuals for severe emotional distress caused by another person or entity who intentionally or recklessly inflicted emotional distress by behaving in an “extreme and outrageous” way.

What are the types of emotional distress?

There are two types of emotional distress cases, negligent and intentional.

You can claim monetary compensation for the emotional distress the discrimination has caused you – this is called ‘injury to feelings.

You’ll need evidence of this and if you have it documented as I have through my “online journal” you can build a case against the perpetrator or entity which needs to show how the discrimination made you feel.

You will need witnesses or evidence of who you are naming and blaming and you need to start asking your family, friends, colleagues, medical professionals, or support workers if they’ll be witnesses to how the discrimination affected you.

An injury to feelings claim is a claim that can be made as part of a judgment, discrimination, humiliation, mental and physical abuse claim but not an unfair dismissal claim. It is a claim for compensation for the upset, distress, or anxiety a person might have suffered as a result of discrimination, humiliation, mental abuse, physical abuse.

Negligence Emotional Distress: As an example, my GP’s surgery has failed in their duty of care and as a consequence has caused me emotional distress.

Intentional Emotional Distress: Another example of an entity(s) that caused a domino effect caused me emotional distress.

The purpose of an injury to feelings award is to compensate the individual for the hurt and distress they have suffered rather than to punish the entity or (person held liable) for the discriminatory conduct. However, the sum awarded should not be so high that it amounts to a windfall nor should it be so low that it diminishes respect for the law.

In the well-known case of Vento v Chief Constable of West Yorkshire Police No. 2 (2003) the Court of Appeal set guidelines on the amount of compensation to be given for injury to feelings (the so-called Vento bands) as follows:

  • The lower band which is appropriate for less serious cases such as where the act of discrimination is an isolated or one off occurrence.
  • The middle band for serious cases which do not merit an award in the highest band.
  • The top band for the most serious cases such as where there has been a lengthy campaign of discriminatory harassment. In exceptional circumstances, the top band can be exceeded.

Subsequent case law established that a 10% uplift should be applied to any award and that the Vento bands should be increased annually in line with inflation.

For claims brought on or after 6 April 2019 the current bands are:

**Please Note Stress & Anxiety Compensation:

In case of prolonged symptoms, your compensation claims could range between £48,000 to £101,000. 

For mild psychiatric damage, your compensation claims could range between £1,300 to £5,000. 

Business Emotional Distress.

Tortious interference, also known as intentional interference with contractual relations (is a business dispute), in the common law of torts, occurs when one person intentionally damages someone else’s contractual or business relationships with a third party, causing economic harm.

As an example, someone could use blackmail to induce a contractor into breaking a contract; they could threaten a supplier to prevent them from supplying goods or services to another party, or they could obstruct someone’s ability to honor a contract with a client by deliberately refusing to deliver necessary goods.

A tort of negligent interference occurs when one party’s negligence damages the contractual or business relationship between others, causing economic harm, such as, by blocking a waterway or causing a blackout that prevents the utility company from being able to uphold its existing contracts with consumers.

Can you sue your ex for emotional distress?

Yes, you can, as a general rule, you can sue for emotional distress, if your ex has caused you mental health issues and as a consequence, you are depressed and have PTSD you can sue this person.

In fact, whether you are filing an insurance claim or pursuing a personal injury action in court, your emotional distress damages are accounted for as a significant part of your financial recovery.

To prove a claim for intentional infliction of emotional distress a plaintiff must prove that:

  1. The defendant’s conduct was outrageous and caused you distress.
  2. The conduct was either reckless or intended to cause emotional distress
  3. As a result of the defendant’s conduct the plaintiff suffered severe emotional distress (depression, PTSD, anxiety, stress, social disconnection, ocd).

Causes of Emotional Distress Include:

  1. Divorce
  2. Seperation
  3. Breakup
  4. Mental Abuse
  5. Physical Abuse
  6. Isolation
  7. Discrimination
  8. Humiliation
  9. Judgement
  10. Eviction
  11. Loss of a Job
  12. Failed Business
  13. Medical Malpractice & Negligence
  14. PTSD from witnessing a loved one’s premature death
  15. Insecurity of knowing the unkown, when an entity playing mind games with your financial status and does not respond to you in a quick and timely manner.

Symptoms of Emotional Distress:

  • Loss of Apetite or Comfort Eating.
  • Insomnia, finding it hard to sleep.
  • Social Distancing, pulling away from people and things.
  • Feeling lethargic, having low or no energy
  • Having unexplained aches and pains, such as constant stomach aches or headaches
  • Low Self Esteem. Feeling helpless or hopeless
  • Excessive smoking, drinking, or using drugs, including prescription medications
  • Constant worrying,
  • Thinking of hurting or killing yourself or someone else.

Often cases such as domestic violence can lead the victim to either criminal or civil proceedings, and he or she will need to decide which option to follow first or which to devote energy to before seeking both options. Emotional distress is usually one aspect of pain and suffering that the judge may award in compensation.

Although the above explains the legal side of things you have to be prepared to name and blame the entities and expect the repercussions of the aftermath of your litigation.

You have two choices and that is you let your negative feeling go and never mention them again (bury your emotions) or you go down the route to seek monetary compensation.

In my lifetime I would have already been a millionaire by now had I chosen to sue everyone that did me wrong.

https://www.hg.org/legal-articles/can-i-sue-my-ex-boyfriend-for-emotional-distress-due-to-domestic-violence-49298

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/emotional-distress

#emotionaldistress #emotionaldistresscompensation #ptsd #depression #anxiety #mentalabuse #physicalabuse #domesticviolence #ptsd #discrimination #humiliation

Anxiety Phoning Your GP

Anxiety Phoning your GP!

Anxiety Phoning Your GP.

Many of us worry about speaking to our GP at the best of times and it is more difficult especially if we have mental health and anxiety issues.

However, doing nothing about your ailments and bottling things up can make things worse. It’s better to seek help early rather than let it fester into something worse. That way you can start receiving the treatment you need to set you on the road to recovery.

“GPs are normally the first port of call for physical and mental health concerns. However, for someone like myself who suffers from anxiety, it can be overwhelming physically having a conversation about what you are thinking or feeling with your GP or practice nurse, someone you may hardly know.

Whatever way you decide about communicating with your GP they will want to speak with you even if you appoint a friend or family member to speak on your behalf (data protection), they will still want to speak with you.

Mind Charity has put together a guide with some tips on how to prepare for your appointment and make the most of the short time you get with them. Find out more at www.mind.org.uk/findthewords.”

Speaking to your GP or practice nurse should be your first step to getting help. However, if you are anxious it might be an idea to contact your GP via email or snail mail. However, this can be passed to the practice manager, for everyone to see and read. In fact, I wrote such an email to my GP last May 2021 and the practice manager and cluster pharmacist both confirmed they read my letter which was not addressed to them yet my GP has not bothered to respond to my letter at all.

The only time I will be speaking to my GP once I muster the courage to phone them to raise my complaint will be through court and suing them for negligence.

What is concerning is I do need medical attention as some of my symptoms have escalated, but I cannot bring myself to phone the GP Surgery as I feel I will lose my rag with them. Furthermore, I have social disconnection issues and cannot interact with anyone other than my family and online.

https://www.mind.org.uk/about-us/our-policy-work/you-and-your-gp/for-gp-patients/

https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/about-the-nhs/how-to-complain-to-the-nhs/

https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/other-services/Patient-advice-and-liaison-services-(PALS)/LocationSearch/363

https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/other-services/Clinical-Commissioning-Group/LocationSearch/1

https://www.cqc.org.uk/contact-us/how-complain/complain-about-use-mental-health-act

https://www.ombudsman.org.uk/

https://www.ombudsman.org.uk/publications/my-expectations-raising-concerns-and-complaints

#gpdutyofcare #gp #doctorsurgery #gpnegligence #anxiety #anxietyphoning #anxietyphoningyourgp #dutyofcare #nhscomplaints

Serotonin & Chocolate.

Serotonin & Chocolate.

This is not my usual post as I was trying to promote a new business specializing in confectionery and initially I thought that it would be apt to promote it as a feel-good factor as I reckon anyone occasionally needs a bit of TLC regardless if there is nothing wrong with them or if they have mental or physical disabilities and most of us have a sweet tooth.

I for one when I am feeling low turn to chocolate as the current medication I am on is a waste of time other than it makes me drowsy just before bed.

The ingredients in Chocolate.

Tryptophan is an amino acid found in small quantities in chocolate and is also the precursor for Serotonin. … However, because chocolate contains tryptophan, the resulting increase in serotonin can help explain why one might feel happier, calmer, or less anxious after eating a piece of their chocolate cake (Serotonin).

Serotonin & Dopamine: The Neurological Benefits of Chocolate

Though chocolate is known for its ability to increase levels of the calming neurotransmitter serotonin, it also contains small amounts of a compound called phenylethylamine, which acts like an amphetamine, stimulating your brain cells to release dopamine.

Personal Experience.

I am currently taking prescribed medication which has serotonin (Mirtazapine 30mg).

In fact, I have only stumbled upon this article by accident: Mirtazapine can cause a life-threatening condition called “Serotonin Syndrome”. Your risk may be higher if you also take other drugs that have similar effects as mirtazapine. These include antidepressants or triptans, such as sumatriptan and zolmitriptan.

So you get prescribed medication to counteract your depression that may lead to suicide, where is the sense in that?

The pharmaceutical industry is a multi-trillion dollar industry and the end-user is basically the guinea pig at the end of the day. To be precise the pharmaceutical industry is responsible for the research, development, production, and distribution of medications. The market has experienced significant growth during the past two decades, and pharma revenues worldwide totaled 1.27 trillion U.S. dollars in 2020.

https://www.statista.com/topics/1764/global-pharmaceutical-industry/

According to the FDA:

FDA warning: Suicide risk

  • This drug has a black box warning. This is the most serious warning from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). A black box warning alerts doctors and patients about drug effects that may be dangerous. (My doctor still has not answered a letter that the practice manager read and so did the cluster pharmacist which was sent 25th May 2021, this is negligence at its finest).
  • Mirtazapine may cause an increase in suicidal thoughts or actions. (I wrote in my letter I was feeling low when I found out my ex-husband had died).This risk is higher in children, teenagers, and young adults. It’s also higher within the first few months of treatment and during dosage changes. You and your family members, caregivers, and doctor should watch for any new or sudden changes in your mood, behaviors, thoughts, or feelings. Call your doctor right away if you notice any of these changes. (I did in May and am still waiting for a response).

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/mirtazapine-oral-tablet#important-warnings

Can you sue your GP?

As medical professionals, GPs are given a lot of trust by their patients. If you believe that this trust has been breached and your GP has put your health at risk as a result of their negligence, then the law provides a remedy for you to obtain compensation. It is possible for you to sue any doctor who works in an NHS hospital, private practice, or GP surgery. Any Doctor treating you owes you a duty of care, so if that duty was breached and you have suffered as a result, then you may have a claim for compensation.

https://www.patientclaimline.com/medicalnegligence/gp-claims/

Note From the Editor:

To think I have been taking this drug for a good number of years not only to help with my OCD and my depression but also to deal with my insomnia as the drug is very sedative and does the trick as I fall asleep within 15 minutes of taking it. In fact, it is so sedative that I feel so lethargic when I wake up and have to resort to energy drinks to keep me awake. You would think that GP’s would let their patients know of any (DANGER HEALTH WARNINGS) from the FDA or EMA.

Not everyone researches about side effects and it does not exactly get advertised on social media channels or in the news.

“It is about time I ween myself off this drug and finds alternative remedies. I am going to stick with chocolate from now on but need to find something else that can help me fall asleep, any suggestions will be welcome”…

Natural Alternative Homeopathic Remedies – Confectionery.

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Feeling Suicidal, Suicidal Thoughts.

Feeling Suicidal, Suicidal Thoughts.

Feeling Suicidal.

“Life is precious, do not waste it”.

Feeling Suicidal is when a person is in a very dark place metaphorically speaking when they have lost the will to live and they see no other way of escaping from the nightmare they are in.

The rise in suicides likely to be linked to austerity – but the story behind each suicide is complex.

When a person has lost all hope and the will to live they cannot see anything else other than dying. They believe that once they die their nightmare will be over and they will not feel anguish, sadness, loneliness, or despair. They do believe the grass is greener on the other side but is it though?.. Some people believe if you commit suicide you go to hell. So if life feels like hell right now, the real hell will be far worse.

When a person falls into this state of feeling hopeless when nothing is working out fine for them and no one understands them or cares or bothers with them it is understandable they may sink deeper into the abyss.

Most of our depression is fueled by fear, loss, and grief. “Disabled Entrepreneur UK” covers all topics in all categories (I have linked some of the topics in this article).

There are many factors that can cause a person to feel so low:

  1. They feel like a failure, they have nothing to show for their life, they fear failure.
  2. They have lost their job.
  3. They have lost their home, through evicition or natual disaster, divorce, seperation or money problems such as bankruptcy or not being able to keep up with the mortgage payments.
  4. They have lost their family through death or family fued.
  5. They have or are going through a divorce and are losing their home, their children and their money.
  6. They have been robbed.
  7. Their business is going under.
  8. They have lost their life partner, through seperation, or death.
  9. They have lost their child through miscarrage, illness or accidental death.
  10. They are discriminated, humiliated or made a mockery of. They have people or institutes that judge them.
  11. The have financial burdens that if their money was taken away how would they cope (benefits).
  12. They feel no one cares or understands them and every time they reach out people do not take them seriously.
  13. They are stuck in a physically and mentally abusive relationship.
  14. They are being bullied in school or in the workplace.
  15. Harrassment because of sexual orientation, religion, skin colour, beliefs, ethnicity.
  16. They have no friends.
  17. They feel lonely.
  18. They feel the world has turned against them.
  19. Their family and friends have turned against them because or their sexual orientation, religion or beliefs.
  20. They are the abuser in a domstic viilent relationship and have they gone too far with their actions and feel worried they will get caught.

Many adults will experience feelings of hopelessness or suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives. 

This could be because they do not have a close support network that understands them (friends/family/co-workers) and they may feel embarrassed to reach anyone in their network for the fear of being laughed at or for the worries they have to be brushed under the carpet so to speak.

SIGNS TO LOOK OUT FOR.

  1. Social Withdrawal.
  2. Excessive Quietness,
  3. Irritability.
  4. Uncharacteristic Outbursts.
  5. Crying For No Reason.
  6. Hating Everything and Everyone.
  7. Talking about Death or Suicide.

“If you are feeling suicidal, the most important thing is to talk to someone“.

If authoritarian institutions try to judge or discriminate against a person for their mental health, remind them no one is perfect and everyone could be in the same shoes as a suicidal person one day feeling life is not worth living”.

When you feel sad and lonely and feel you have no one to turn to there are organizations specifically designed to help people going through what you are going through. They are not discriminating or judgemental they actually care about you as they would not be there otherwise. They are there to lend an ear, you do not even have to say your real name. You just need to take the brave steps to reach out that is all you have to do.

If you are going through a difficult time, you may be feeling isolated and disconnected from your friends, family, or other groups. It might it difficult to start a conversation about your feelings, therefore there are organizations such as the Samaritans that can listen to your problems and perhaps steer you in the right direction. But it’s important that you let the people around you know how you are feeling. It’s important to remember that people in these organizations care and will want to help you.

Saying that, be prepared for the people in your immediate circle that may be oblivious to your sadness and may try to back away because they have their own problems.

The best people to start with are the ones that have been professionally trained, such as a GP or Mental Health Organisation. Not everyone in your close network of friends and family will understand or even want to help you, so keep that in mind.

What to do if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts

Your GP should be the first point of contact for any issues affecting your physical and mental health, including suicidal thoughts. They will also be able to diagnose a state of depression or anything in your lifestyle that may be contributing to how you may be feeling. 

If you do not have a GP but need to speak with a doctor urgently, you can call NHS non-emergency number on 111 and they will direct you to the nearest available walk-in centre or doctor’s surgery.

Tips for coping with suicidal feelings:

  • Try not to think about the future, just focus on the present and getting through the day, start by taking baby steps.
  • Avoid drugs or alcohol, these will only add fuel to the fire.
  • Go to a safe place like a friend’s house, family or public area, avoid being stuck at home alone, go somewhere where there are people around.
  • Start a journal, this could be a physical book or online blog.
  • Find a reason to help others through your personal story.
  • Do something you usually enjoy.

If you are about to harm yourself or have already done so, call 999 as soon as possible or go to Accident and Emergency (A&E) at the nearest hospital.

Professional suicide support services

If you’re feeling very low, you can contact any of the professional support services below for free.

  • Samaritans – call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.co.uk (available 24/7)
  • Sane Line – call 0300 304 7000 (available 4.30pm – 10.30pm every day)
  • Papyrus Hopeline – call 0800 068 4141, text 07786209697 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org (available 10am – 10pm weekdays, 2pm – 10pm weekends and bank holidays)

The Mental Health Foundation is concerned but not surprised by the latest UK suicide figures. They are in line with other evidence of the distress people are feeling, such as rates of self-harm and self-reported feelings of shame.

Some of the rises in the number of suicides may be due to a change in the rules in England and Wales about how coroners should record suicides. However, it is currently too soon to know what difference the change has made.

Whenever a person takes their own life, there is a complex story behind it.

There is also not a single simple explanation for the increase in the number of people taking their own lives, but it is likely to be linked with economic austerity. We know that suicide rates are linked with people’s uncertainty about their financial futures, unemployment, persistent inequality, loneliness, discrimination, and ill-health. (Citation/Credit).

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/blog/suicide-prevention-how-you-can-make-difference

ASKING IF ONE IS FEELING SUICIDAL.

According to The Mental Health Foundation:

Asking “are you having suicidal thoughts?”

  • Asking about suicide does not encourage it, nor does it lead a person to start thinking about it; in fact it may help prevent it, and can start a potentially life-saving conversation

Note From the Editor.

However, I have to agree to disagree, I suffer from Mental Health Issues and on my last PIP assessment I was asked that very question, have I had suicidal thoughts.

  1. Firstly I would not admit to anyone if I had them or not.
  2. Secondly if I did not have those thoughts I basically was given a loaded gun because if I was not thinking about it before, I most certainly was thinking it now and had a seed planted in my head, which I could have easily gone through with it had I have been in that state of mind.

“The difference is I do have everything to live for and can teach people including institutions asking someone directly if they are feeling suicidal can go one of two ways and one has to tread carefully”.

One needs to be subtle and not cause a person to immediately go on the defense and on guard. No one will admit they feel suicidal especially to a stranger unless they actively are looking to get help and are prepared to get the support they need”.

For me personally, this crossed my mind on the odd occasion, but I was not telling a PIP assessor who I did not know and besides my own personal story is complex, it is not one incident but many incidents with many people’s/entities actions that I can blame over many years that have caused me to feel depressed”.

As I walked away with a loaded gun that the PIP Assessor had metaphorically given and had I not found the strength to over-ride my thoughts I very much doubt you would be reading my story today”.

I have since learned that one can over-ride one’s thoughts with neuroscience which I am actively researching. I hope to publish my findings in the near future.

What assessors should ask instead is:

  1. Have you been feeling low?
  2. Do you feel you can talk to someone?
  3. How often do you feel low?
  4. Do you have friends or family you can talk to?
  5. Do you feel hopeless?
  6. Do you feel worthless?
  7. Do you feel the world is against you?
  8. Do you know of any support networks you can reach out to?
  9. Do you turn to alcohol or recreational drugs to surpress your thoughts?
  10. Do you feel your thoughts are very intrusive?
  11. Do you isolate yourself from society?
  12. Can you cope with life?
  13. Do you have any hobbies?
  14. Do you feel proud of yourself?
  15. Has anyone tried to hurt you physically or mentally?

World Health Organisation:

According to “WHO” Nearly 800,000 people die by suicide in the world each year, which is roughly one death every 40 seconds.

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-24 years.

Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.

https://apps.who.int/gho/data/node.sdg.3-4-viz-2?lang=en

FINAL THOUGHTS FROM THE EDITOR.

When someone you know looks or behaves not their usual self, ask them if they are ok and that they can talk to you whenever they want with no pressure. Always be kind to people as you do not know what they are going through or feeling.

Never be judgemental or dictate to them what they should or should not do. Everyone has the ability to make their own decisions for their own reasons. If you have an opinion tell it once, it is up to the person to listen, continue bombarding the person with your opinions will eventually make the person withdraw from you. If people do not want to listen or take on board your advice do not force it on them.

If you say you are going to phone someone, stick to it, and never give empty promises as that person could just be waiting for you (CD) as there are consequences to our actions.

Do not be that family member that only reaches out once a year at Christmas. Phone the person regularly throughout the year. Get the distant relative involved in your life, do not disregard them like leftover meat. Phone them if they are not inclined to meet with you.

People battle demons in their heads and it is only right for you as a decent human being to be there for the person that may be going through worse ordeals than yourself.

If you are a good person you will spread awareness that people do not have to go through things alone, share your story so that people can relate to you.

If you do not have a job and no one wants to employ you, then create a job and be your own boss. I can motivate and inspire anyone.

Nothing is so bad that you cannot overcome the problem(s) you are faced with, believe me, I know, I have been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. In fact, it did cross my mind on the odd occasion but found a way to get through it. Besides, I have a family and a business I am grateful for having a roof over my head and food to eat. Find the things you are grateful for and think there is always someone worse off than you. Where there is a will there is a way. Obstacles are there so that we can learn how to overcome them. Life is a lesson to be learned.

So if I can survive with everything I have gone through over the years, so can you.

Suicide is so very final and there is no guarantee what you will be faced with on the other side. It could be as some believe that people who commit suicide go straight to hell and some countries do not give people proper burials just dump their bodies in mass graves. It’s ironic that the actor who played the character Chris Nielsen (Robin Williams) “What Dreams May Come” in a film about suicide, committed suicide. Even famous people have demons and get depressed. (Rich and Depressed).

I have been pushed to my limits many times including when I lost both my parents and my brother but I have also had to deal with domestic violence not to mention losing someone I loved. This is part of the grieving process.

There will always be people who will try to be judgemental and will think they are better than you. Let it all go over your head, no one on this planet is better than you. Just because they may be more educated, have social status, or are some sort of institution or royalty, behind every company, there is a human being doing exactly the same as you, eating, sleeping, and surviving.

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/understanding-behaviour

Anyone who is reading this and simply wants to talk can set up an anonymous Gmail account and message me using the form below.

“Nothing is unbearable that cannot be conquered”.

For me how I deal with depression other than doing research I use this site to write my mental health problems as an online digital journal specifically designed to help myself and others like me.

I can lend an ear and point you in the right direction, you do not have to give your real name and everything you say will be kept confidential”.

**Please note: messages are answered within 24 hours.

However, you can chat with me using the chatbox, Open Monday to Friday Business Hours.

If you want to speak with someone outside of these hours I recommend getting in touch with the Samaritans.

If you want to write your own story I can create your own page and together we can inspire more people”.

#suicide #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #feelingsuicidal #depression #clinicaldepression #grief #anxiety #humanbehaviour #suicidalthoughts #intrusivethoughts #suicidal #feelingsuicidal

Famous People With Lyme Disease.

Famous People With Lyme Disease.

Lyme Disease:

Lyme disease bacterium, Borrelia burgdorferi is an infection caught from the bite of an infected tick. Lyme disease can cause a circular red rash around a tick bite and flu-like symptoms. Lyme disease is treated with antibiotics from a GP. The sooner you start treatment, the better your chances of a full recovery. You can reduce your risk of getting Lyme disease by covering your skin when you’re outdoors, sticking to footpaths, and using insect repellent.

It is a black-legged tick that will attach to its host and suck the blood slowly for several days. If the host animal has certain bloodborne infections, such as the bacteria that cause Lyme disease, the tick may ingest the pathogen and become infected. If the tick later feeds on a human, that human can become infected.

Lyme Disease is a tick-borne illness that can damage a persons’ quality of life but also alienate them from their communities. Diagnosis is tricky, and the cost of missed or misdiagnosis compounds the detrimental effects of the disease itself.

If you have or suspect you have a tick-borne illness, you may or can offer comfort to someone going through the same struggle by learning the surprising stories of eighteen famous people who have been diagnosed with tick-borne diseases.

1. Avril Lavigne

This Canadian pop star’s Lyme Disease diagnosis caused her to retreat from the public eye for several years. Avril has become an advocate for the disease where she was quoted as saying she had been bedridden from the illness. Her songs from her album, Head Above Water, were inspired by her struggles with the illness.

Avril now has her own charity, The Avril Lavigne Foundation, and works with the Global Lyme Alliance and the LymeLight Foundation to raise awareness about Lyme.

2. Shania Twain

Canadian singer struck by tick-borne illness, Shania Twain has suffered lasting effects from her struggles with Lyme. One of her symptoms, dysphonia, has permanently damaged her singing voice. Singing, she says, now requires more intense warm-ups and effort than ever before.

3. Alec Baldwin

Hollywood A-List Actor says a tick bit him around the year 2000. For five years after that, he suffered devastating symptoms every summer, becoming bedridden and suffering high fevers and sweats.

During a 2011 interview with The New York Times, the “Saturday Night Live” actor mentioned that he had chronic Lyme disease.

Alec Baldwin didn’t mention his diagnosis again until 2017 when he spoke onstage at an event benefiting the Bay Area Lyme Foundation. It was then where Alec opened up about the loneliness and fear that can come with being diagnosed with a tick-borne illness. He was not married at the time of his first episode of the illness and symptoms got so bad, he felt very alone and was sure he would die from the illness.

4. Yolanda Hadid (and Her Kids)

Former model Yolanda Hadid starred on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, not many people knew she was suffering from debilitating Lyme symptoms like anxiety, fatigue, and pain.

Since the airing of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Yolanda spoke openly about the disease to help spread awareness. She’s is now an advocate for Lyme patients, calling the tick-borne disease an “invisible disability” that can harm patients’ mental health and alienate them from friends and loved ones. She’s talked about how she not only battled several doctors to finally get an accurate diagnosis, but also struggled to be understood by friends, co-stars, and even her ex-husband (David Foster).

Yolanda in December 2012, reported that she was having a port implanted in her arm to help treat what she has stated is chronic Lyme disease. In April 2013, she had the port removed. In January 2015, she revealed that, as a consequence of the illness that Hadid believed she has, she had “lost the ability to read, write, or even watch TV”.

If that weren’t enough, Yolanda’s children Anwar Hadid and Bella Hadid also have Lyme. Yolanda has been vocal about how her other daughter Gigi, is fortunate not to have the disease.

5. Ben Stiller

Ben Stiller another Hollywood A-Lister Actor provides a hopeful example of how early detection and antibiotic treatment can help manage symptoms. After a knee injury that coincided with excessive, inexplicable inflammation, he was diagnosed with Lyme Disease he believes he contracted in Nantucket.

Doctors were able to diagnose and treat Ben’s Lyme Disease, and he’s since reported being “symptom-free.” However, he acknowledges that Lyme “never leaves your body,” echoing concerns about chronic Lyme that the medical community is now recognizing exists.

6. Daryl Hall

Daryl Hall singer, of the pop duo Hall & Oates, acknowledges his life in the countryside for his and his family members’ tick-borne illnesses.

In 2005, the duo Hall and Oates canceled a tour, revealing that Daryl Hall had been diagnosed with Lyme disease.

In 2011, he opened up about his experiences, explaining how he contracted the disease and his journey to health.

Though he’s still performing music, symptoms from the tick-borne disease have affected his career and quality of life, causing him to cancel tours.

After years of suffering a host of disparate and confusing symptoms – including fevers and wild fluctuations in body temperature, new food allergies, tremors, aches, and stiffness – he was eventually diagnosed with “six or seven” different tick-borne illnesses. Now he has “roving symptoms” that come and go, including heart arrhythmia – a common problem for chronic Lyme sufferers.

Hall says the confusion and controversy around Lyme disease can lead infected individuals to suffer “on their own.”

7. Amy Tan

Celebrated author Amy Tan has been very vocal about her battle with undiagnosed Lyme Disease. After she “soldiered through” increasingly erratic and troubling symptoms like pain, numbness, and hearing sensitivity during a major book tour, she suffered through debilitating anxiety, paranoia, and even hallucinations, plus several drug regimens that left her exhausted.

Like many Lyme sufferers, Tan’s quest for diagnosis was debilitating as her battle with Lyme Disease itself. At one point, doctors found and removed a small brain tumor, but the symptoms persisted. She even had an ELISA – a common test for Lyme – come back negative.

Still struggling with symptoms that made her unable to even write, she finally got positive results on a Western Blot from IGeneX and was diagnosed with Lyme.

Tan now serves on the Honorary Board of Directors for the Lyme Disease Association.

8. Rebecca Wells

Rebecca Wells is an American author, actor, and playwright known for the Ya-Ya Sisterhood series. Like her friend and fellow author Amy Tan, Rebecca Wells’ illness struck just as she was ascending as a successful fiction writer.

Similar to Tan, she suffered through symptoms like dizzy spells, noise sensitivity, respiratory infections, numbness, and even multiple-chemical sensitivities for over a decade before being diagnosed. At one point she even had to be hooked up to an oxygen tank for two hours per day.

9. George W. Bush

The Washington Post reported that back in 2006, former President George W. Bush was quietly diagnosed with and treated for Lyme Disease. Another example of how early detection can lead to better chances of recovery, Bush is thought to have fully recovered.

10. Kelly Osbourne

Ozzy Osbourne’s daughter chronicled the effects of Lyme on her life in her 2016 memoir, detailing how she suffered through recurring sore throats, stomach pain, and even seizures for ten years before getting a clear diagnosis. This had given the disease time to advance to stage III neurological Lyme. Throughout her undiagnosed illness, Osbourne’s intense drug regimen caused a cycle of depression, anxiety, and treatment for those symptoms.

After her father’s Birthday Party, Kelly noticed and burned a tick off her body after spending time near reindeer. But her story proves that removing a tick is only the first step in preventing disease.

Lyme patients can take inspiration from Osbourne’s resilience and self-advocacy in the face of this poorly understood illness.

11. Justin Bieber

Justin Bieber, Canadian Pop Star made headlines in January 2020 when he revealed that he had been struggling with Lyme disease. The story resonated with many in the Lyme community because Bieber was sick for months before getting a proper diagnosis. Complications from Lyme as well as a case of mono exacerbated Bieber’s exhaustion and damaged his mental health, serving as a further reminder of the consequences of a missed diagnosis.

In January, the singer wrote on Instagram that it has been a “rough couple of years” battling the disease. 

Justin Bieber explained that, for a long time, people speculated that he was “on meth,”  but failed to realize that he’d actually recently been diagnosed with Lyme disease. He said that he’d also been struggling with “a serious case of chronic mono which affected my skin, brain function, energy, and overall health.

12. Amy Schumer

In September, Amy Schumer shared on Instagram that she has Lyme disease and “maybe had it for years.”

Seeing as this disease is the “great imitator” with a range of symptoms,  it’s possible she could’ve experienced Lyme symptoms for quite some time without realizing it. 

In an Instagram post, the comedian said she’s currently taking doxycycline, an oral antibiotic, to treat the condition and she also asked others for advice. 

13. Ally Hilfiger

Ally Hilfiger battled the disease for decades and chronicled her journey in a memoir.

The former “Rich Girls” star went misdiagnosed for a long time after being bit by a tick at 7 years old in 1992.

In her book “Bite Me: How Lyme Disease Stole My Childhood, Made Me Crazy, and Almost Killed Me,” Hilfiger chronicles her battle with the invisible illness and the all-too-visible symptoms that followed.

In 2016, she told Health magazine, “I remember getting bit by a tick and my parents sent it off to the labs. And we got inconclusive tests back.”

14. Debbie Gibson

Deborah Ann Gibson is an American singer-songwriter, pianist, record producer, and actress. Gibson released her debut album Out of the Blue in 1987, which spawned several international hits, later being certified triple platinum by the Recording Industry Association of America.

In 2014, Debbie Gibson revealed she’d been privately battling the illness.

Debbie Gibson took to her blog in April 2014 to give an update on her health, revealing that she’d begun experiencing symptoms in early 2013.

She said she first felt anxiety and sensitivity to certain foods.

Then, she said she began feeling unique pain and muscle fatigue she’d never had before. She added, “I got tested for everything under the sun, though it did not occur to me, or my West Coast doctors, to test for Lyme.

15. Jamie-Lynn Sigler

Jamie-Lynn Sigler is an American actress and singer. She is best known for her role as Meadow Soprano on the HBO series The Sopranos.

Jamie-Lynn Sigler battled Lyme disease before learning she also suffered from multiple sclerosis.

At the age of 19 years old and starring on HBO’s hit “The Sopranos,” she learned she had Lyme disease.

Shortly after, in 2016, she told People magazine, “I was diagnosed with MS (multiple sclerosis) when I was 20 years old. It was a shock, it was surprising.”

“I had been diagnosed with Lyme disease the year before, so to get the diagnosis was confusing, and also strange because I didn’t feel sick. I didn’t feel that anything was wrong.”

She’d taken antibiotics, a standard course of treatment for early-stage Lyme, “and things had started to go away,” she shared.

Sigler now advocates on behalf of those with chronic illnesses.

16. Thalía Mottola

Ariadna Thalía Sodi Miranda Mottola, known as Thalía, is a Mexican singer and actress. Born in Mexico City, she is widely considered one of the most successful and influential Mexican artists

Thalía Mottola began feeling ill during her first pregnancy in 2007 and became unable to care for her newborn daughter.

In her 2011 memoir “Growing Stronger,” she explained that doctors tried to convince her she was suffering from postpartum depression, writing, “I continued to feel like I had been run over by a truck that had dragged me for a thousand miles, along with a steamroller that had crushed every last bone in my body. I literally thought I was dying.”

When she found the energy to research online, she started seeing Lyme specialists, eventually undergoing two years of “heavy treatments.” 

17. Kris Kristofferson

Kristoffer Kristofferson is a retired Hollywood American actor, musician, and songwriter.

Kris Kristofferson experienced several misdiagnoses before being treated for Lyme.

His wife revealed in 2016 in a Rolling Stone interview that the music legend had been diagnosed with Lyme disease just shy of his 80th birthday.

The magazine then wrote that Kris’s wife believed Kris had been bitten by a tick while filming the 2006 movie “Disappearances” in Vermont.

“He was taking all these medications for things he doesn’t have, and they all have side effects,” she shared, talking about medications he was taking for depression and Alzheimer’s disease.

After three weeks of Lyme disease treatment, Lisa noted that “All of a sudden he was back to his normal self,” adding that he is not cured and still struggles some days yet “some days he’s perfectly normal and it’s easy to forget that he is even battling anything.”

18. Kathleen Hanna

Kathleen Hanna is an American singer, musician, artist, feminist activist, pioneer of the feminist punk riot grrrl movement, and punk zine writer.

Kathleen Hanna battled Lyme disease for over a decade before being properly diagnosed.

Kathleen Hanna took time off from her band, Le Tigre, in 2005, citing personal health issues. However, at that time she was unaware she was struggling with Lyme Disease. She was only diagnosed in late 2010.

She experienced debilitating symptoms over the course of several years that made her unable to move or speak at times and she began to heal after two years of “intensive therapy,” according to The New York Times.

After multiple misdiagnoses — from multiple sclerosis to lupus and panic attacks — she saw a 2008 documentary called “Under Our Skin” about the unspoken Lyme epidemic and realized that a tick bite she got in 2005 could still be causing her health problems, even though she’d been treated with a standard course of antibiotics.

In 2013, Hanna returned to the public eye and in 2016 she formed a new band, Julie Ruin.

The Importance of Testing

While the bewildering symptoms of tick-borne illness can be very isolating, you don’t have to suffer alone. If you have Lyme symptoms – especially if there’s a chance you’ve been bitten by a tick – it’s important to get accurate testing and medical advice.

Lyme disease is a bacterial infection that can be spread to humans by infected ticks. It’s usually easier to treat if it’s diagnosed early.

Symptoms of Lyme disease

A circular or oval shape rash around a tick bite can be an early symptom of Lyme disease in some people.

The rash can appear up to 3 months after being bitten by an infected tick but usually appears within 1 to 4 weeks. It can last for several weeks.

The rash can have a darker or lighter area in the center and might gradually spread. It’s not usually hot or itchy.

The rash may be flat, or slightly raised, and look pink, red, or purple when it appears on white skin. It can be harder to see the rash on brown and black skin and it may look like a bruise.

A round, red area, surrounded by a red, ring-shape rash, from Lyme disease. Shown on white skin.

Further Reading and Credits: https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/lyme-disease/

https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/lyme-disease/symptoms-causes/syc-20374651

https://www.cdc.gov/lyme/signs_symptoms/index.html

https://www.healthline.com/health/lyme-disease

https://www.bds.org.uk/information-advice/out-about/lyme-disease-ticks/

https://www.npr.org/sections/health-shots/2018/07/24/631814695/ticks-and-lyme-disease-3-factors-determine-risk-of-infection?t=1636467911717

Useful Links:

https://lyme.org/

https://www.lymedisease.org/

LymeDiseaseAction.org.uk

LymeDiseaseAssociation.org

LymeDiseaseUk.com

ALDF.com

#lymedisease #chroniclymedisease #famouspeoplewithlymedisease #celebritieswithlymedisease

Pretentious People

Pretentious Meaning.

The definition of pretentious is an entity such as an institution or someone that claims to be very important or grand. An example of pretentious is someone saying they deserve a table in a crowded restaurant because of who they are. Pretentiousness is intended to impress or scare others. Pretentiousness can also be a tool to make people fearful in society.

Being pretentious means you are not equal to another person and that you have some sort of higher power.

“I am also a princess of my own domain”.

Pretentious people especially if they wear an authoritarian uniform or work in authoritarian institutions, act like they are something that they are not. At the end of the day regardless if one is Royalty, a Politician, The Police, or a Civil Servant working in a Local Council Offices, one is just an ordinary human being just like the rest of us. Yet people of statuses portray they are important and they somehow believe they have some sort of mystical power over you, although in reality they are either born entitled (Royalty) or work for an institution where they give out orders and somehow believe they are entitled and different. This does not make them special, they still do everything that the rest of us do, sleep, eat and survive.

In the fields of sociology and political science, authority is the legitimate power of a person or group over other people. In a civil state, authority is practiced in ways such as a judicial branch or an executive branch of government. In the exercise of governance, the terms authority and power are inaccurate synonyms.

Italian politician Maurizio Gasparri causes outrage tweeted that the English are “pretentious pricks” when Italy beat England in the 2014 World Cup. Pulitzer prize-winning novelist Anthony Doerr tells Michelle Dean that he “grew up were to call yourself a writer would be pretentious” Journalist Ruth Dudley Edwards informed her readers that her “prevailing thoughts about the writer Salman Rushdie” were that he is “self-important, pretentious, attention-seeking and ungrateful” (Daily Mail, 19 June 2007). On BBC 5 Live in 2009, Richard Bacon got to grips with a question that has vexed humanity for centuries: “Is wine over-rated and pretentious?”

Society segregates people into classes making people such as celebrities have the power of self-importance because people idolize them like Gods.

People in institutions such as banks, schools, police departments, council, and political offices think because they are employed they automatically have a superpower.

These people believe they are somehow more important than you just because they work for a governing institution when in reality, if that job was taken away from them they would be in the same boat as you and then become vulnerable.

Pretentious people prey on ordinary people’s insecurities and vulnerabilities. By acting superior making the other person submissive and anxious can cause a cascade of problems due to the consequences of the pretentious person’s actions.

People try to survive the best way they can and these institutions should not be judgemental yet they are portraying their self-importance even though they are no different to you.

I am feeling pretentiousness from some people working in one particular institution I have reached out to, that somehow think they are more important than me. I get the impression that I am insignificant and that I have to bow down to them. Furthermore, they have no regard for a person’s mental health state of mind. I feel I am divided into a social class because I have a disability and that I do not deserve to be treated with dignity”.

“I am a spiritual being in a physical body. Only God has the right to judge me and no one is better than me as I believe we should be all equal even though society has taught us that we are not”.

This is causing me to feel unwell and anxious (my OCD has flared up even more with my intrusive thoughts). I cannot concentrate properly and cannot focus on my work. I also deal with stupid people that do not read their emails properly and then ask for the same information multiple times, even though the information has been submitted yet they failed to read it the first time around. I can directly blame people for my emotional distress that makes me feel this way, for degrading the quality of my life. The consequences of people’s actions can cause a domino effect which can cause a person to feel worse than they already are”

It is axiomatic that pretentiousness shows no one in good light. Pretension is measured using prejudiced metrics. The pretentious person – naturally thinking themselves to be very important, believing they are in possession of an educated and discerning mind – believes that normal folk will be submissive to them.

Pretension sets the amateur against the professional in a game rigged by tradition, qualifications, and institutional approval. Decipher the word “pretentious” and outcomes an open can of worms, a bestiary of class anxieties; fears about getting above your station, and policing those suspected of trying to migrate from their social background. The word is broken down fits in with emotional attitudes towards economic and social inequality and is used as shorthand in arguments over authenticity, elitism, and populism. Pretentiousness is the brand of witchcraft used by scheming institutes of society to keep the great unwashed at bay.

Society tries to control people by arguing about rules, regulations, and right or wrong ways of doing things is one way to divide people into social classes. To accuse someone of being pretentiousness, of trying to stand out, affirms the fact that the accuser (you) fits in with everyone else. Because pretension is measured against the baseline “norm” of the accuser, there is an assumption that pretension always involves moving up the class ladder. Pretension is taken to be synonymous with snobbery.

Citations & Credits

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/feb/09/in-defence-of-pretentiousness

#pretentious, pretentiousness #selfimportance #snobbery

Trapped in a Domestic Violent Relationship.

Trapped in a Domestic Violent Relationship.

Trapped in a Domestic Violent Relationship.

In light of the young woman “Gabby Petito” who was murdered in Florida most recently, the story has hit home and has opened up so many bad memories for me.

At the time of this article, being published there is a manhunt going on for her fiance “Brian Laundrie”.

Watching the video of the patrol officers when both the young woman and her fiance were first pulled over, I could relate to some of what was happening at the time.

Gabby was being very overprotective, not only for herself, but she also did not want Brian to get into trouble so she took the blame. She wanted to defuse the situation so that her partner would not be angrier once the authorities had gone.

She also blamed her OCD. (Yes I can relate to this also however if I was talking to someone to get them off my back I would use the OCD excuse).

By coincidence, I suffer from OCD and I know how frustrating this is to someone who does not suffer from it.

I used to be called “CRAZY” by someone I thought I trusted, even as I speak to today there is a stigma attached to people with mental health issues. I was told multiple times by the person who tried to control me that I needed to be locked up in a lunatic asylum. This could have been a trigger to start an argument for Gabby and Brian, as my OCD got me into a lot of arguments myself.

So it is no surprise that a recent conversation I had with someone I have known for 40 years who learned I had OCD never bothered to ring me back after he said he would.

The problem is I do not give people second chances anymore, I used to, but my mindset has changed. If someone does me wrong that is it, I will not have anything more to do with them.

If people assume that disabilities especially mental health ones are labeled as “crazy”, I have news for you being anxious, depressed, and having panic attacks are also mental health issues, so we all have an element of craziness in us.

For me at the time of my physical and mental abuse, I had lost my brother to a drowning accident and felt my life was falling apart. I believed that the person I had turned to for solace, whom I trusted would protect me from harm ended up the person who nearly cost my life.

When I first met my ex-partner in 2009 I should have gone with my gut feeling as I did not like him at first. I remembered my brother’s words shortly before his passing that I should start dating. I had been divorced for nine years and did not need anyone in my life up until that point when my parents passed away and then my brother.

My ex had heard I had come into a large inheritance and my naivety prevailed as I thought he was in pursuit of me, not my money (I was very naive and stupid), so in January 2010 we started dating.

Everything seemed fine until I heard in February 2010 my brother was involved in a freak accident in Ecuador where he sadly lost his life.

I needed my ex more than ever to help me stay sane. I did start to have feelings for him (I cared for him but was not in love, more like lust) and found when he started to show his true colours approximately four months later after my brother had passed away, whilst we were visiting my family in Poland for a wedding, I should have seen all the warning signs with his vulgarity and disrespect to me and left him there and then, but I didn’t.

On the way back to the UK he was just rude and vulgar but not physically abusive. It would be approximately a year later that he physically attacked me.

This is when my whole world turned truly upside down. I felt I was in the middle of the eye of a tornado where not only did he physically assault me, I then had the authorities putting pressure on me to have him charged. I felt my whole world falling apart and I could not cope with the anguish and the stress.

Similar to what this young woman was going through in the video I tried to defend him and say it was my fault that things got out of hand, so as not to cause further anger or cause a rift between us.

I believed then (not now), that people are not born evil and thought once the dust settled I could reason with him and get him the help and therapy he needed without getting him into trouble with the authorities. That was a stupid naive mistake I made as one can inherit narcissistic traits.

You cannot change a person that does not want to change”.

This did not turn out well or go in my favour when I refused to press charges. I then became a target and was treated like a criminal for harbouring a would-be criminal in the eyes of the law and the authorities turned against me and threatened to take away my child.

I was in the middle of a storm and had no one to turn to. I did not trust anyone and I felt very alone. I was scared how would I cope with being on my own even though it did not dawn on me I was actually alone for nine years prior to meeting my ex, so why did being alone actually matter?

I was obviously not thinking straight. Just like “Gabby” I was afraid to lose the person I hoped to settle down with. It did not matter how many people advised me or how many people tried to keep us apart I had one goal and that was to make amends and start over, forgive and forget.

Needless to say, my ex did get charged by the Police and ended up going on remand for a week in jail but because I refused to give evidence the charges got dropped for lack of them.

I was now an enemy of the state.

Had the Police not got involved in the first place there could have been a totally different outcome and I could have easily been maimed for life or ended up dead. However, after he was released from custody his behaviour only got worse over time.

I was advised to move or go to a women’s shelter which I point blank refused. I thought why should I go on the run, move home and my business because of him. I had a woman’s shelter person insist on making them my friend and again, I did not want anything to do with strangers I just wanted to sort out the mess all by myself.

I ended with a police marker on my property and that if I was ever to call the Police or anyone else called the police, they would have blue lights blazing or so I thought.

It was hard to gain my ex’s trust after that and his anger only festered even more as he blamed me for getting the police involved even though he drew the first sword so to speak. He was in complete denial that he had done anything wrong.

From then on I was the target of verbal abuse on a constant basis and he was careful most of the time that there were no witnesses to his behaviour especially my daughter who he did not trust either as both my daughter and I were two peas from the same pod. However, there were a couple of occasions once on a busy high street where I was walking back from a Garage whilst my daughter was in school where he poured a can of beer over my head on busy high street causing the hairdressers to run out of the shop to comfort me and another time in Poland where he punched me whilst he was driving the car with his elderly aunt in the back. Other than that he did everything when there was no one around.

There were a lot of incidents that stuck in my mind and as I write this article I am still not ready to tell the world what exactly happened and what he did to me.

It is still very mentally painful for me to recall everything and I have tried to suppress my mental wounds and memories knowing in time I will heal. I hope one day to tell my story to help women just like Gabby.

It is more common than people think especially in Poland as an example and by coincidence another wife-beater whose wife I happened to help about two and half years ago in a similar situation to mine only messaged me the other day to help him.

These men are delusional and considering he knows my ex-partner and what he did to me as he listened to the audio recordings I have, you would think considering he too was in a similar situation not so long ago himself, he would not be so naive to think I would help him.

Polish people stick together in communities especially in a foreign land and because English is my native tongue but I am bi-lingual that is why Poles come to me for help.

I told him I was busy for the next few months with work and told him to contact someone else. I have no intention of helping someone that beats women one day and acts like nothing happened the next.

I know none of what has happened to me was my fault. It was my ex’s insecurities that made him the way he was, not to mention that it is part of the culture in rural areas of Poland where the men go to work grafting in fields all day whilst the women are supposed to keep a tidy home, have their dinners ready and oblige to every whim.

Furthermore, the abuse is passed from generation to generation especially considering that some men drink excessively to the point they are paralytic and that is when the demons come out. Although my ex was very much sober when he was physically and mentally abusive towards me and was more subdued when he was drunk, these are the characteristics of a narcissist, a dangerous, psychotic person.

Looking back at my ex, his mother admitted she was physically and mentally abusive to her crippled wheelchair-bound husband when my ex was a toddler. So from a young age growing up, he started to have a hatred towards women and I witnessed how he pushed his elderly mother’s frail body nearly causing her to fall. I also heard his vulgarity towards his own mother who walked out of the room so as not to show him that his words hurt her and that she was crying. He never apologized when she returned just stared at her giving her dirty looks.

The last straw that broke the camel’s back for me was when I decided to put a stop to his abuse once and for all. He dislocated my knee and that was it there was no turning back. I had already collected enough evidence previously and had started to hate him (there is a thin line between love and hate). Any feelings I had for him had long gone.

I then came up with a plan, I could see that he was getting, even more, angrier with me and that there was no reasoning with him so I started to collect evidence and recorded him secretly.

Over time I managed to collect enough evidence that he would be facing jail for a very long time and with this evidence which I presented to him I gave him an ultimatum to leave me alone once and for all and to payback for all the damages otherwise, I would go to the Police. I made multiple copies of the evidence I had and told him should anything ever happen to my daughter or me, the police would go looking for him.

He knows that if he fails to pay me for everything he has broken or tries to come near me he will have the Police knocking on his door.

Yes he caused me harm and I do have memories but I can safely say I was lucky to have got away from him for good.

I have blocked him on all social media and unfriended all his friends, family, and associates. The less he knows about me the better.

Am I still concerned he may carry out his threats, perhaps if I provoked him, that is why I remain to stay civil until I am ready to disassociate myself for good?

Moving is my final goal. My businesses are online with no physical addresses so I have no worries there. There will be a time when I sever all ties with him when I am good and ready.

My circumstances and the threats he made I will not divulge until I am ready to tell the world, hence I have CCTV outside my property, had the locks changed, and am very vigilant.

I do not go out because of my mental and physical health which some of it was caused by my ex.

Recovery.

I have a long road to recovery and where someone asked me the other day am I in a relationship, even though I had told this person previously many months prior about my ex, this individual was oblivious to the fact that my ex has caused considerable mental and physical damage, so why on God’s earth would I ever want to get involved with anyone ever again?

I have in my lifetime witnessed my father slap my mother, my cousin being dragged by her hair by her husband. Have had my own personal experiences and have had been made aware of domestic violence in the Polish Community in the City I live in.

Abuse majority of the time is behind closed doors. People are either too afraid to get help, are too embarrassed, or simply do not know how to end the nightmare they live in.

Some people believe they can change a person (I was one of them), but in reality, you cannot change a person unless they are willing to accept your help and are willing to change.

Sometimes an assault can happen when you least expect it.

If you are in imminent danger try to get away. Sometimes talking calmly and showing you are not afraid can help to defuse the situation and then when you are confident you can leave without getting harmed leave at the first opportunity.

If you are in a situation where this happens often and you have not found the courage to leave or report the crime, secretly record the abusive behaviour. You do not have to have catalouges of episodes, one incident is enough, and then make a secret plan on the first opportunity to leave and not return. Try to have an escape plan. (In my case he was a visitor in my home so it was hard to get him to leave).

I actually did reach out to my dead brother’s girlfriend to hide and she turned her back on me.

Things you should.

  1. At the first opportunity go to the police, especailly if you have children or are in imminent danger.
  2. Prior to fleeing delete all of the abusers friends, family and associates off all social media accounts and block them. (Tell your partner your account was taken down by social media for sharing something that goes against their policies, not that you closed it as that will make the abuser angry).
  3. Give all the people you know nicknames and change their real names to the nicknames on your phone should the abuser insist on going through your phone to see who you phoned last or who had phoned you.
  4. Change your passwords on everything.
  5. Arrange to stay with someone that is not the obvious person on the list your abuser will go and visit.
  6. Let all the people you know in your network, your friends, family they have nicknames and that if they get an unknown call from the abuser to not identify themselves. The only risk is ther abuser may recognise their voice.
  7. Save some money put a few pounds/dollars aside each week so that when you are ready to flee you are able to do so without any monetary difficulty.
  8. Keep all your important documents together, passport, driving licence etc so that you have no worries they will get destroyed by the abuser and you have them to hand in an emergency.
  9. Have a bag packed ready to go. (Make sure your abuser does not clock on what you are up to. Do not make it a suitcase more a like a large handbag, small holdall or backpack)
  10. Be careful who you talk to and trust.
  11. Cover your tracks.
  12. Invest in another phone with another number so that if your abuser uses his acquaintances to phone you it will be more difficult to track you down.
  13. Keep your accounts private on social media and do not accept anyone you do not know as a connection, as your abuser could easily set up a fake account just to trap you or get an unknown friend to spy on you.
  14. Do not be ashamed of your situation, many women and men are going through domestic violent relationships right now as we speak. Tell your neighbours to be aware of loud noises or raised voices.
  15. Do not try to fight or retaliate in a volitile situation, instead try to stay calm and quiet to try and defuse the situation and once the coast is clear and the situation has calmed down make an excuse that you will go up the road to buy a bottle of wine or some beer giving you the opportunity to leave in a safe manner. Say it is a peace offering to start over. Do not try sneaking out as that will relight a smouldering flame.

They say an apple does not fall far from the tree and knowing I had a police marker on my property when a boy threatened my daughter a couple of years later I phoned the police. After 10 minutes of no sounds of sirens in the far distance and no police to my daughter’s rescue, I phoned again and the operator turned around and I quote “we are sitting at the end of your street waiting for you to phone us”. Imagine the seriousness of the call every second mattered so if my daughter and I were in imminent danger I do not believe the police would be in any hurry blasting their sirens to rescue us. Like I said before, I think I am now an enemy of the state because I did not press charges.

Going back to “Brain Laundrie”, this is only my opinion, he is most probably very scared and insecure and I believe and this is something my ex’s mother said to me all those years ago, if I were to press charges and, my ex was going to face jail, he would most probably kill himself and she would blame me. It is a vicious circle that I believe started with her narcissism towards her husband in front of her child who turned out to be a narcissist.

As for the whole “Brian Laundrie” case, I am sitting on the fence just like the rest of the world but if my child had killed their partner or was in serious trouble with the authorities I would try to persuade them to turn themselves in. I certainly would not go on a camping trip as a family and I would try and give all my support to the person’s family of the child that was murdered. There are too many unanswered questions and I do hope they find Brian alive so that this can bring closure to Gabby’s family.

What is the worst that can happen for Brian apart from the freeboard and lodgings he will indefinitely have if he is sent to jail if it was accidental or manslaughter? If on the other hand, it was first-degree murder then that constitutes the death penalty in Florida, but even then I would try to rehabilitate myself and help mentor other people with narcissistic problems before I met my maker.

There is a lot of outcry because of so many other missing persons in the USA and the rest of the world but the focus is on one person to be found preferably alive to be made an example of.

The way I see it, Gabby would not have died in vain and instead become a symbol and sacrifice for women all over the world to get out of abusive relationships before they meet the same fate as Gabby.

Gabby should be made a Saint by the Vatican.

More needs to be done to spread awareness of the dangers of abusive relationships.

“My condolences to Gabby’s family and thoughts and prayers at this most difficult time”.

#domesticviolence #narcissist #narcissism #physicalabuse #mentalabuse #violence #bullying #disrespect #humiliation #gaslighting #controlling #bully #bullying #spitting #hitting #slapping #verbalabuse#vulgarity #intimidating #intimidation

Heart Palpitations

Heart palpitations and ectopic beats

Heart palpitations are heartbeats that become more noticeable.

Heart palpitations could feel like your heart is pounding, fluttering, or beating erratically. These symptoms can also cause you to feel nauseous and light-headed.

Palpitations are the onset of a trigger response and even though they may seem alarming, in most cases they’re relatively harmless and are not a sign of a serious problem.

People with heart palpitations may feel an extra or missed beat. These are known as ectopic beats and are also usually nothing to worry about.

My own personal experience.

“Today Saturday 18th September 2021 I am home alone. I have just had an argument with a hosting provider trying to scam me and whilst on the phone, I could feel my blood pressure rising and I started to shout at the person on the other end of the phone.

It has been two hours since I ended the first call, I have had made many since then and done 3 posts and I am still feeling dizzy and my heart is pounding. I am trying to calm myself down but it is not easy when you are talking to stupid people. Their total disregard for your health and ignorance makes my blood boil”.

“I also feel very sick and even though I have eaten I am not feeling very well at all”.

Causes of heart palpitations

Typical causes of heart palpitations include:

  • lifestyle triggers
  • emotions and psychological triggers
  • medication
  • hormone inbalance
  • heart rhythm problems
  • heart conditions
  • other medical conditions

Lifestyle triggers

Common triggers of heart palpitations include:

  • strenuous exercise
  • work related stress
  • relationship stress
  • grief
  • money problems stress
  • insomnia
  • drinks containing caffeine, such as coffee, tea and energy drinks
  • alcohol
  • smoking
  • illegal drugs, such as cocaine, heroin, amphetamines, ecstasy and cannabis
  • rich or spicy foods

In most cases, the palpitations will go away on their own. However, changing your lifestyle and life choices can help with avoiding these triggers and may help stop them from coming back.

Emotional or psychological triggers

Heart palpitations are also often caused by emotions or psychological issues, such as:

  • excitement or nervousness
  • anger
  • frustration
  • stress or anxiety
  • panic attacks – an overwhelming sense of anxiety or fear, accompanied by feeling faint or light headed, feeling sick, sweating, trembling and palpitations

Learning how to breathe and how to deal with a panic attack may help if you’re feeling stressed, anxious, or wound up.

Although learning how to deal with panic attacks is common sense, sometimes a trigger can happen unexpectedly and in that case, you do not have time to think straight, and doing breathing exercises especially if you are in the middle of an argument, can prove to be difficult unless you remove yourself from the equation.

Medicines

Palpitations can occasionally be triggered by some medicines, including:

  • asthma inhalers, such as salbutamol and ipratropium bromide
  • high blood pressure (hypertension) medicines, such as hydralazine and minoxidil
  • antihistamines, such as terfenadine
  • antibiotics, such as clarithromycin and erythromycin (I’m allegic to erythromycin)
  • antidepressants, such as citalopram and escitalopram
  • antifungal medicines, such as itraconazole

Speak to a GP if you think a medicine may be causing your heart palpitations. But do not stop taking a prescribed treatment without first getting medical advice.

The problem with me is that my GP has made no effort to contact me other than the practice manager and the cluster pharmacist that read my letter which was received 25th May 2021 and marked confidential. So my faith and trust in this particular practice have gone straight out of the window. If I need medical attention I will just go straight to A&E”.

Hormone changes

Heart palpitations in women can sometimes be the result of hormonal changes that happen during:

  • menstraul cycle
  • pregnancy
  • the menopause 

In these cases, the palpitations are usually temporary and not a cause for concern.

Heart rhythm problems

Heart palpitations are sometimes caused by a problem with the heart rhythm (arrhythmia), such as:

  • atrial fibrillation – this is the most common type, where the heart beats irregularly and faster than normal
  • atrial flutter – a fast and irregular heartbeat
  • supraventricular tachycardia (SVT) – abnormally fast heart rate
  • ventricular tachycardia – a more serious condition where the regular heartbeat is typically fast. It can be associated with dizziness or blackouts

Heart conditions

Some heart palpitations may be associated with other types of heart conditions, such as:

  • a problem with the heart valves, such as mitral valve prolapse
  • hypertrophic cardiomyopathy – where the heart muscle and walls of the heart become enlarged and thickened
  • heart failure – where the heart is unable to pump blood around the body properly
  • congenital heart disease – birth defects that affect the normal workings of the heart

Some of these conditions can be serious and often require treatment.

Other medical conditions

Other conditions that can cause heart palpitations include:

  • an overactive thyroid (hyperthyroidism) – where the thyroid gland produces too much of the thyroid hormones
  • a low blood sugar level (hypoglycaemia) – this is most commonly associated with diabetes
  • types of anaemia, which affects the red blood cells
  • postural or orthostatic hypotension – dizziness and low blood pressure triggered by changing position (such as standing up)
  • a high temperature
  • dehydration

When to see a GP

You do not usually need to see a GP if the palpitations pass quickly and only happen occasionally. They’re unlikely to be caused by a serious problem and probably will not need treatment.

But it’s a good idea to see a GP if:

  • the palpitations last a long time, do not improve or get worse
  • you have a history of heart problems
  • you’re concerned about the palpitations

To help find the cause, a GP may:

  • ask about your symptoms and medical history
  • arrange a blood test
  • carry out an electrocardiogram (ECG) to check your heart rate (if the GP has the equipment available)

If you cannot have an ECG at the GP surgery or the GP wants to arrange heart monitoring over a longer time period, you may be referred for tests at a local hospital.

When to get emergency help

Call 999 for an ambulance or go to your nearest A&E if you have heart palpitations and any of the following symptoms:

  • severe shortness of breath
  • chest pain or tightness
  • dizziness or light-headedness
  • fainting or blackouts

These symptoms could indicate a serious or potentially life-threatening heart problem that should be checked by a doctor straight away.

Credit:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/heart-palpitations/

#panicattacks #dizziness #heartpalpitations #heartracing #heartpounding #heartflutter

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