Category: Clinical Depression (Page 1 of 2)

Coping With Life When You Are Disabled.

Copying With life When You Are Disabled.

I have this methology “if life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. I am not the type of person to whinge and moan, I just make the most of what I have and try to get on with it.

I always keep myself busy and set goals. However my physical and mental disabilities are obstacles that daily I have to get round.

My OCD is by far one of my prominent disabilities and have designed a quarantined cocoon area where only I have access to. This area allows me to be free of any anxieties that I would have in the normal environment. I have adopted this practice to save cleaning my whole home from top to bottom day in and day out. Believe me I used to clean from top to bottom every single day until I realised I was wasting valuable time doing something else.

Keeping myself busy does help to block out intrusive thoughts to a certain degree. I am the worlds worse for critising myself. I try to brain train to reason with myself that what I do is ridiculous and out of character to normal people, but it all is related to stress, anxiety and depression. Depending how stress I am under will depend how well my day will be. If I am super stressed, I find that I cannot concentrate and even do minuscule tasks.

My OCD is germ contamination related and I am even more conscious of my surrounding and the things that I touch. I dislike people visting me and visa versa. I prefer not to go out, hence I am not going out any time soon pandemic regulations or not.

I actually wrote an article on my other blog about germ awareness and cross contamination: https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2021/02/16/saliva-and-mail-cross-contamination-of-germs/

As for my other disabilities:

  • Cerebellar Atrophy (I lose my balance or grip and muddle my words up especially when I write, I also have mental blocks).
  • OCD (I am aware of germ cross contimination and and am careful what I touch).
  • Social Disconnection (I prefer my own company and not go out and socialise, although we can’t anyway but you get my drift).
  • PTSD (I have flashbacks of the physical and mental trauma I endured in the past and certain things trigger my depression).
  • Clinical Depression (This is related to past physical and mental trauma I endured, in which there are days where I go to a dark place).
  • Rheumatoid Arthritis (I cannot bend my knee, again from past physical trauma/abuse).
  • Dysphagia (I sometimes choke of food, I get a painful feeling followed by trouble swallowing and breathing and only when the food is dislodged does the feeling subside, gross I know but what can I do? I have been told I could have surgery but there is no gauarantee that it would work. I am not going to go under the knife for anything, I can tell you that for sure).
  • Epidural Analgesia (Chronic Back Pain, even bending down to feed the cat makes my back spasm, the same goes if I am standing for excessive length of time I have shooting pains from the small of my back to the nape of my neck. Simple taskes like taking out the rubbish or bringing in the grocery shopping has brought tears to my eyes in the past).

So yes I have good days and bad days but I do not dwell on my ailments and try to live the best way I can. I adapt to around my disabilities. Fortuantely for me I offer digital services so I can do 100% of my work online and do not have to venture out.

Stress and worry are contributing factors to my OCD, PTSD, Depression and Social Disconnection.

  • Getting headaches (I have regular headaches)
  • Having stomach cramps (I have a bad stomach most days, but that can be from drinking energy drinks to keep me awake).
  • Not being able to sleep (I find my medication helps me sleep but it takes a few hours for me to wind down, hence I watch a film or play a game, I also read books from time to time).
  • Feeling pains in your chest (I do not get them often but when I do it is scary as I have also experienced jaw ache and shooting pain down my left arm in the past). I have had an ecg scan done and the doctor said there was nothing wrong, yet the same doctor also prescribed antacid ‘Gaviscon’ to my daughter even though she was later diagnosed with MS after I admitted her into A&E.
  • Having constant worring (If I do not keep myself busy I do worry hence I try to keep my mind occupied all the time). Worrying only makes your health deteriorate and although life struggles can get in the way of your happiness, one needs to find a way to tackle the problem we are faced with, rather than sweep them under the carpet. Confronting your inner demons makes you stronger. Sometimes simply writing down your problems is the first step to dealing with whatever is on your mind. Talking to a friend or family member also helps but for me expessing my emotions in the form of a blog is theraputic in itself.
  • Having panic attacks (I only get these if I have to meet negative people). People that judge or critise, you know the people I am talking about or if I have a deadline in work or something that I have seen or heard that has triggered the onset of sheer panic. However for most part I am organised and know to how to avoid trigger warnings, so panic attacks are subdued.
  • Feeling shortness of breath, (I only get this if I cannot swallow due to my Dysphagia or at times when I have in the past been in distress, due to the trauma and abuse I endured).
  • Having mood swings with friends or family (I avoid socialising so no one knows my moods and no one can be on the tail end if I do have a bad day).
  • Finding it hard to feel happy (Continuously reassuring myself and staying positive that what I am doing will eventually change my life for the better, is enough to motivate me to get up and tackle every day tasks).

Although I was going to do a daily/weekly journal of my health, I am not able to do so at present as I have many projects I am working on and simply do not have the time, but I always try to strive to stay focused and optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day.

Obviously adopting a healthy lifestyle can help with coping with life struggles, such as:

  • Regular Exercise
  • Breathing Exercise
  • Meditation
  • Eating Healthily
  • Brain Training
  • Learning New Things
  • Staying Focused
  • Being Organised
  • Setting Goals
  • Time Management
  • Avoiding Negative People
  • Learning to Trust People
  • Motivation
  • Talking to Family and Friends About Your Troubles
  • Discussing your Problems with Professionals, Health, Finance, Relationships etc

Final Thoughts!

I am a disabled entrepreneur and I have created a business round my disabilities. The way I saw it when I first started out, I would not fit in or be accepted in a normal working enviroment and I am the most happiest I have ever been for a long time doing what I do and it works for me. So the way I see it is my disabilities are a blessing in disguise, as I would not be where I am today without them.

I avoid negative judgemental people especially if they have power trips (Trolls especially that have nothing better to do than try an bring a person down, these get immediately blocked).

As for me I will help anyone that genuinely needs my help. I am very good at analysing people and situations and I am very astute.

Stay safe, stay focused and stay motivated, nothing stays the same forever unless you let it…

Royal Mail VS Other Couriers.

Royal Mail Vs Courier.

This post is a mixture of two posts rolled into one (no pun intended).

  1. The First Being Logistics.
  2. The Second About Disabilities.

History of Royal Mail was originally established in 1516 as a department of the by the Royal Family. The company’s subsidiary company Royal Mail Group Limited which operates the brands Royal Mail (letters) and Parcelforce Worldwide (parcels).

The company provides mail collection and delivery services throughout the UK and is now a private company after it’s shares where floated on the stock exchange in 2015.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Royal_Mail

GRIEVANCE

Now my grievance is that such a big company has no online chat and if one wanted to lodge a complaint this is what they say “We are currently experiencing very high call volumes”, this tells me their service is not up to scratch and they have not employed enough people to deal with the demand and are delivering a poor service. The reponse time is between 10 and 35 days.

For people with mental health an immune disorders this is absoulutely inacceptable.

Employ more staff or give up your yearly bonuses and have a cut in salary meaning salaries from the top and that way you will be able to afford to employ more people.

Just because you are a PLC company there have been many before you which have tried and failed in our current climate with businesses going bust left right and centre.

You have to stay ahead of your competion, you need to dig deep into your pockets to survive.

Furthermore their website is not straight forward to navigate and I should know as I build websites.

“There should be no room for error”.

Any decent company should have online chat.

So this is the domino effect of a company simply not doing their jobs properly as I will explain:

Two parcels were sent on the 12/01/21 from the same Royal Mail Post Office, one to ‘Amazon’ and the other to ‘Pretty Little Thing’. The Amazon notification came within 24 hours and refund within 48 hours but for ‘Pretty Little Thing’ the parcel is still in the sorting office even though ‘Royal Mail’ aim to deliver in one working day.

Now considering there is a time frame for when things can be returned and my daughters return date is bordering on the deadline, you would think they would speed things along.

My daughter who suffers with Multiple Scleroris is on the verge of having a relapse because of ‘Royal Mail’.

Multiple Sclerosis can leave a person wheelchair or bed bound, so as her carer I think it is only right to ruffle a few feathers.

To think before Christmas someone refused to use Royal Mail to send a fragile gift and I tried defending the company I now have egg on my face, so has my daugher.

Unless the company can up with a quick plan of action I will not be saying a good word about this company.

The CEO is Stuart Simpson.

Christmas Stress Due to Depression & OCD

Christmas Stress Due to Depression and OCD.

As most of you know I suffer with Depression and OCD. I have good days and bad days and this last week has made my illnesses sky rocket.

Had the electricians that did Pat Testing the begining part of the year done their jobs properly and seen that the cooker sockets where inside the hot zone that they should have corrected it.

However because they did not do this, this has created a domino effect when one thing happens after another due to consequences of peoples actions. Now as you know my cooker arrived which I paid for (more fool me) seeing as I have never had a cooker change in the last 24 years of living at my rented residence, you would have thought the landlord would be happy. I told him I was buying a cooker months ago but conveniently he has forgotten.

So to add insult to injury it has been a week since the cooker was delivered and it is still not been installed.

I was told my landlord would turn up on Saturday then at near enough Midnight he text me to say he would be coming Monday or Tuesday (No Show) so I text him yesterday and asked if he was coming today this was a hours ago and so far he has ignored me.

You have to also know what type of landlord he is, I reported another fault in March of this year and he only had it fixed in December so you can imagine the pace he goes.

The chain reaction of events has caused me to to go into severe depression and I am in a very dark place at the moment (This is now my landlords fault for making me feel like this as he was the last straw, the straw that broke the camels back to speak).

This is the main factor of my depression at the moment.

But there are additional factors whereby because I am disabled I have a disabled sticker on my wheelie refuse bin, so all the wheelie bins on the street were emptied apart from mine and I checked with the council and there was no reason why my bin was not emptied so my rubbish will pile up for another two weeks in which keeping rubbish in my home is against health and safety and I do not want to attract mice.

I have had problems with mice before and when my neighbour lived down stairs with her cats we had no mice but the moment she left we ended having a mice problems.

I took it upon myself to allow my daughter to have a kitten who is now 1 yr 6 months years old it was supposed to be also good for her Multiple Sclerosis therapy and is an eco friendly mice deterrent.

Now when my landlord came about 6 months ago just before the first lockdown to inspect the property he mentioned nothing about the cat but because I have essentially caused him to loose money because of this cooker installation he has now said he can smell cat urine on the entrance of the flat and up our staircase and that he will need to buy a new carpet.

This is his way to scamming me as he will buy a cheap carpet and charge me through the roof for changing it. He will have to pay me back for the cooker in that case…..touché.

He scammed me once before by changing the dates of when the rent was due by asking for the rent two weeks after I paid my monthly rent and then moved the rent forward by a month essentially got 6 weeks rent in one month.

“Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me fool me three times I will publically shame you”, (although he fooled me once he won’t be fooling me again).

These are very challenging times for me and only I can get through this, but I still can blame people for making me feel the way I do.

To top it all I phoned the retailer yesterday to see where my refund was seeing as I had waited five working days and they said there was a ‘system error’ and I have to wait a further five working days.

If I treated my customers the way Blue Chip Companies treat theirs, I would most certainlynot have any business left.

No consideration for peoples mental health.

Famous People Suffer With Mental Health.

It just shows even famous A-Listers have demons that they fight with in their heads.

I wrote a post why people do not care and now I can prove the point.

FINAL THOUGHTS!

For me to be treated by my landlord like a third rate citizen is unforgivable and down right, ignorant and rude with no apology absolutely nothing.

If he was too ill he could have got his assistant to message me, rather than blank me altogether.

Out of courtesy I would have if I were in his shoes been more transparent, just shows the difference in class of people we are.

My landlord has now caused me to sink into a deep well of depression”.

Because he owns the property he thinks he is better than me.

I on the other hand see it as cheap rent and somewhere to sleep.

I certainly would not call it home.

One day the tables will be turned and he will wish he treated me differently.

“Show respect and you will earn respect”

Sorry if I have ranted on about myself but I find writing my thoughts is a bit like therapy, I am releasing the tension and the anger and sharing it with you.

I am not bothering to contact my landlord again and will see how long it takes him to show his face.

As a paying tenant I have a right to have a cooker and if I was trying to do him a favour I can essentially insist he re-imburses me including all the takeouts and persished food, not to mention PTSD and compensation for work I could essentially loose because I am too ill to work because of his antics and his cowboy contractors.

“On a scale of 1 feeling fine and 20 feeling really low I am 20 plus at the moment and am feeling extremely anxoious as to my Landlords next move. I personally do not know how he can face me again seeing he ruined my Christmas and I am subjected to takeout every day at an average cost of £30 per day as I have no other means of cooking”.

https://www.jmw.co.uk/services-for-you/personal-injury/compensation-calculator/head-injury/post-traumatic-stress-disorder

Christmas Stress.

CHRISTMAS STRESS!

I wrote yesterday on my other blog about appliance retailers not mentioning anything about ‘Hot Spots’, hence this is the reason for my post today. I am ‘Extremely Stressed’ to the point I want to curl up into a ball and cry.

Curl Up In a Ball and Cry.

My brand new cooker was delivered last Thursday, to to date it has not been installed.

Who can I blame, the retailer, the landlord or the incompetent electricians that did pat testing at the beginning of the year or perhaps all three?

My OCD is so guarded I cannot face another soul at the moment and it does not help that I have to wait on my landlord who does not give you a time just turns up whenever he feels like it, with no consideration for my disability or my business.

I am getting extremely anxious as Christmas is only a few days away and it looks at the moment I will be toasting marshmallows over a candle at this rate rather than tucking into a Christmas Dinner.

I am not joking when I say all I will have for Christmas dinner is Cheese & Biscuits at this rate followed by marshmallows for desert.

My landlord has his own illnesses and has not come round because he is unwell. He texts messages me near enough Midnight most days, which I find very rude. Some people do not know about etiquette. You would think he would phone or text at a decent hour.

I could try to find someone to re-wire the electrics and a gas engineer but we are on Lockdown so this is going to be virtually impossible. I could not make this up if I tried.

I am not going to say anything at the moment but if my Christmas is going to be ruined I will shout from the roof tops the incompetent pat testing electricians and make sure they loose business.

How am I going to even be compensated for this?

I really have had enough of everything right now and if I did have any Christmas Spirit it has diminished.

The pat testing electricians never mentioned or did anything about the plug socket which was in the middle of the hot zone at the beginning part of the year.

My landlord should sue the electricians.

They also installed a smoke alarm in every room yet I live in a flat with one floor (so all I needed was one alarm). They ruined the artex ceiling in the living room and when my landlord asked them the other day Thursday to be exact to come out rather than move the socket they covered it up 🤬😡🤬 They even did not check my chandalier which in my opinion is a hazard along with the dimmer switch. Total cowboys…..

My Hot Zone With Sockets Covered Up (Against Safety Regulations) 🙂

I could give a long list of things wrong in my flat, from the black mold on my walls clothing and furniture to the electrics that were never checked and my landlord was invoiced for.

These incompetent electricians which I will make internet famous all for the wrong reasons, will feel my wrath when the time is right. They have caused me a lot of uneccessary stress, which I certainly could do without.

The domino effect has started for every domino that gets knocked over there will be a consequence.

Will I ever market this company (hell no) and will make sure they know it aswell. It is wrong to write about someone behind their back just like it’s the same as talking about them behind their back, so once Christmas is over I will shoot them an email and will forward my posts.

The uncertainty of not knowing if my landlord will turn up or if my cooker will be installed before Christmas is causing my OCD to sky rocket.

Every person I am dealing with including the Amazon delivery drivers who are so laid back as if they have no care in the world are irratating me. Clearly seeing me on a foot path outside my home with my t-shirt and leggings on and my passport in my hand as I had ordered something of 18 years verification, you would think they would hurry things along. Why does Amazon insist on the drivers to put your passport number onto Amazon system to deliver a bottle of alcohol, I am 57 years of age I clearly look over 18 so what is the need to collect this data? It is the middle of winter not a hot summers day, so for the driver to look at me and take his time is beyond a joke. I also have a business to run I have to be near my computer as I am managing my clients online chat support so I cannot put my status as ‘away’, as that is not what I am paid for and I cannot loose a sale.

Me With Two Heads Apparantly.

So it is amazing to see people’s reactions when I say anything, its is as if I have two heads by the looks I get, what is wrong with people?

I am at war with the world right now and just want to hibernate away from the human race.

Still no sign of my landlord, he is irratating me to high heaven.

Watch this space for updates…..

Wishing Everyone

Happy Holidays

&

a Happy, Healthy & Prosperous

New Year 2021

Animated GIF

Indimidation & Mental Health Issues.

INTIMIDATION.

Intimidation is intentional behavior performed by someone in which it causes another person (the victim) fear either by physical or psychological injury or harm.

A perpetrator knows what they are doing and will want to gain control of a situation by making their victim feel insecure.

Intimidation can cause psychological damage which will make the victim question themselves, which may lead to depression or suicide.

Intimidation in the workplace can make your office environment to be a toxic place to work in.

When your boss or coworker is subjecting you to intimidation in the workplace your mental health will be affected and you may even find you have no choice but to quit your job if the constant bullying becomes unbearable.

What does Intimidation in the Workplace Look Like?

Workplace intimidation, which is also called workplace bullying, happens when someone superior to you or a coworker uses psychological threats, blackmail or verbal abuse to manipulate an employee to do things in order to feel superior over that person (the victim).

Intimidation may become apparant from the start by the superior showing they are above you. It does not have to be gradual as you may be told by your co-workers that the boss is on the prowl and that you have to jump through hoops to please him or her.

In some cases it may be made apparant over time, where the perpetrator accesses the victims weakness and plays on their insecurities. This does not have to be in the workplace it could be a friend, neighbour, partner or landlord. Basically anyone that has control over you in some way and feels they are superior to you can potentially intimidate you if you let them.

Intimidation can be:

  • Physical violence or threats
  • Raising Voices
  • Ignoring you and your requests
  • Being Hostile physical posturing
  • Humiliating, ridiculing or insulting you in front of coworkers or customers
  • Intentionally dicing you work outside your expertise
  • Purposely finding faults with your work or assigning errors to you that are not your responsibility
  • Copying your ideas and taking credit for your work
  • Sabotaging your work or setting you up to fail
  • Raising the bar for success or setting up different standards for the targeted employee
  • Interfering with your ability to work
  • Highlighting the fact that your are dispensable, that you could loose your job if your work is not up to scratch
  • Showing superiority so that you feel insecure and putting the victim in their place, reminding the victim why they are where they are and how things could eaily change, playing on the victims insecurities.
  • Intimidation that can cause your mental health to change, such as spreading lies.
  • Making the employee feel unwelcome or singled out in social events.

Illegal Workplace Discrimination.

When there is intimidation in workplace it can easily cross the line into illegal workplace discrimination.

This applies to conduct based on:

  • Race
  • Color
  • National origin
  • Sex or gender
  • Pregnancy
  • Religion
  • Disability
  • Age

If an employer makes employment decisions that hinders your job role and assignments or allows its employees to create a hostile work environment, you may be able to make a discrimiantion claim against the employer. If your employer doesn’t live up to its promises or comply with its anti-harassment policies, you may be able to sue based on a breach of contract claim.

Regarless if intimidation is made in the workplace or in another environment such as a landlord intimidating a tenant for example you do have rights and you can find the relevant help in order that you are no longer intimidated and can live a life without feeling insecure. Nobody should live in fear.

**If you have problems at home with your landlord you should contact your local council office.

Your council should have a tenancy relations officer or a housing team who can help.

The council could:

Form N16A: Application for injunction (General form)

Use this general injunction form to ask the court to order a person, company or organisation to do something or not to do something.

n16a-eng

Mental Health At Christmas – My Personal Expeiences.

Mental Health At Christmas – My Personal Experiences.

For me personally speaking it is not my favourite time of year.

I miss my parents and my bother that passed away and Christmas is not Christmas anymore, I just want Christmas over and done with.

Not just that, I have a few personal problems at home and I get it I know I am not the only one going through things especially with another iminent lockdown on the horizon and businesses struggling to pay their bills.

How can I charge my clients if they are having financial issues? This becomes a catalytic reaction a so called domino effect.

I can underatand that I should be thankful that I have somewhere to sleep and have a roof over my head. However I alway live in fear for lots of different reasons, mainly the constant worry that certain people have an element control over me. I am sad that I cannot free myself no matter how hard I try. I am being told never give up so that is what I am doing, slowly plugging away until I hit the jackpot. It is hard work but I am determined to succeed no matter what. If only I could build my own Rose Island.

“In order to start a new life one needs a lot of money and if one does not have a support network it is difficult to make the change”.

However I am struggling at the moment with my mental health really badly at the moment especially since I had a delivery from ‘Argos’ on Thursday things have just escalated to the point I just want to cry, lock myself away, turn my phone off and not see or speak to anyone until the nightmare is over.

It does not help when ‘Argos’ do not put on their website anything about ‘Hot Zones’ prior to a consumer buying a cooker.

This has started a domino effect as I have had to get my landlord involved in which I really wanted to avoid doing that.

On top of all that because I have not been able to install my cooker all my food with ‘use by dates’ has perished. I have had to order takeouts for my family and at a cost of £30 per day and have not had a refund for my installation which I paid for upfront.

Who is going to compensate me for all the money I have wasted and am still wasting?

I have phoned Argos Customer Service and they have said I will get a refund and I should wait and trust them, but they said they do not send out confirmation emails. I have even emailed the CEO ‘Simon Roberts’ and messaged him on LinkedIn pointing him to a post I made about his website…..Obviously this has been ignored as I am a nobody to this person and insignificant.

I really cannot face work right now because of a series of events, which I do not want to go into, but today on a scale of 1 to 20 with 1 being happy and 20 being really bad, I can safetly say I have gone off the richter scale and I am 20 plus.

I cannot deal with the feeling of: Fear, Doubt, Anxiety and Worry and Intrusive Thoughts”.

These feeling I usually can supress but I am concerned as some people can be intimidating and I simply cannot handle that right now. I need reassurance that everything will be ok but there is no one backing my corner.

My problem, I lack a personal support system and have no one to turn to when I am at my lowest.

I am getting intrusive thoughts in my head and I am battling my demons.

I will see if I can sleep ok over the next few nights or not and if my anxiety and fear subsides or get worse, I have sleeping tablets but when I feel my heart pounding, it is hard to relax.

My heart is in my mouth right now pounding away and I am on the verge of crying.

There are consequences to peoples actions.

I wish something would go right for me right now, but everything I touch seems to go belly up and to pot. I am trying so hard for the situation not to defeat me.

Someone said to me recently “A problem halved is a problem solved”, in most case it is good to talk to someone else I totally agree, but if all that person is a lending of an ear and cannot give you advice as they don know how, then from my own personal experiences there is no point to even speak to them. You need someone who is professional, be it a counsellor, a GP or a Consultant. Who ever you turn to they must have some knowledge and are familiar with the problem you are experiencing and should never remind you about what is upsetting you. For me I miss my parents and brother so to be reminded about them not being here especially at Christmas is the wrong thing to do.

One needs to find a mentor or a person that can support you and give you solid helpful advice. You need to find a person that can be your rock.

For me right now, I really want to sob my heart out and cannot get to sleep. My mind is racing and I am getting heart palpitations. I feel physically sick.

Mental Health Amongst Entrepreneurs

Mental Health Amogst Entrepreneurs.

Starting a business can be stressful, no one said it would be easy. One has to plan ahead and manage finances so that you can live. Nothing happens overnight, there has to be a lot of planning to lift your business to the next level and none if it comes without stress.

According to Michael A. Freeman a researcher from the University of San Francisco states that entrepreneurs are twice as likely to develop depression and three times more likely to engage in substance use and abuse than the general population.

Entrepreneurship is often looked up to as a status symbol that the individual has found the courage to be independant and in control of his/her own careers. Entrepreneurs are also admired for their creativity and initiative. Yet their personal struggles are often not acknowledged because people think being an entrepreneur you are an automatic success which sometimes can be further from the truth. Entrepreneurship comes with challenges in which can add unnecessary stress.

Entrepreneurs tend to be seen as high achievers, driven and motivated. However having these fine qualities does come with some disadvantages. Most entrepreneurs are perfectionists and tend to put aside their personal needs over the needs of their business sometimes foregoing personal family outings or general socialising events in the name of making their business a success. Many marriages have fallen apart because of the entrepreneurs protecting their business with the business coming first place and the marriage coming last.

Because being an entrepreneur nothing is guaranteed there is a lot of scope for failure and uncertainties especially if they are not well established and cannot guarantee a steady income. These uncertainties increase proneness to anxiety disorders, depression, substance use/abuse, and eating disorders.

How many entrepreneurs you know are heavy drinkers?

Reasons entrepreneurs get depressed include:

1). History of Anxiety and Depression

2). Lack of Motivation and Inspiration

2). Feeling Unsuccessful and Fear of Failure

3). Problems maintaining control of your business, perhalps lack of funds or problems with staff or late paying customers.

4). Large numbers of investor rejections

5). Stress and long working hours leading to burnout

6). Being sabotaged by partners

7). Problems with Staff or Recruitment

8). Struggles gaining and maintaining traction

9). Problems with Branding

10). Problems with Marketing

11). Financial Difficulties

12). Lack of Support from your martital partner

13) Feeling Lonely

14) Suffering From othe Mental Health Disorders

15). Lack of Sleep

Growing your business does not come without setbacks, such as securing leads, losing clients, customers disputes or not seeing eye to eye with your business partner(s). It could also be increased competition, staffing problems, whilst struggling to pay the wages and having enough money to pay yourself. Psychiatrist and former entrepreneur Michael A. Freeman, who researches mental health and entrepreneurship says that being an entrepreneur can be very traumatic and can lead to mental health issues.

If you already have mental health problems this can increase your anxieties. No one wants to admit to their vulnerabilities, but the more support there is the more we can be open about our struggles. It is no good bottling it all up inside. Business Men and Women have practiced what is called by social psychiatrists ‘impression management’, also known as “fake it till you make it.” We should never pretend to be something we are not, but at the same time you do not want the whole world knowing your problems as this can be damaging to your business. However the more transparent you are and even being an advocate for mental health, people will quickly start to trust you.

There are also organisations that can allow you to stay anomymous. if you are struggling to find somone to talk to you can reach out here to us or contact the following organisations:

Support Links.

MENTAL HEALTH LINKS

What is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

What is Anxiety

What is Stress

What is Depression

Suicide Healthline

SAMARITANS.org

OCDUK.org

MIND.org.uk

YoungMinds.org.uk

PHYSICAL HEALTH USEFUL LINKS

https://www.who.int/health-topics/disability#tab=tab_1

GOVERNMENT LINKS

https://www.gov.uk/browse/disabilities

BUSINESS RESOURCES FOR PEOPLE WITH DISABILITIES

https://www.aabrs.com/business-resources-for-people-with-disabilities/

Showing Your Success.

Some people want to show the world instantaneously how successful they are before actually being successful so they max out their loans and cards to the hilt and drive flashy cars and wear high end designer clothes just to look the part and fake their image.

Being not true to yourself will eventually catch up with you. Do not pretend to be someone your not, people will soon see when cracks start to appear.

Honesty is the Best Policy.

If you are having finacial difficulties and for example you can not pay bonuses tell your staff and give them a reason why, never leave things to the last minute. If you tell your staff in advance they are more likely to be more understanding. Always be transparent.

You do not have to air your dirty laundry in public but can adapt a monthly or weekly mental health event where people can network and get support. Simply be listening to other peoples problems and relating to similarities can be make people think they are not alone with their struggles.

We need to find a way where we can express our problems without it having a detrimental effect on our business or our health.

Mental Health is still classed as taboo and people find it hard to talk about what they are going through.

No one should feel they are all alone and there is no one that could possibly undersatnd their struggles as did the successful entrepreneurs that came to their demise even though they seemed to be in control, one being ‘Ilya Zhitomirskiy’ founder of Diaspora, a social networking site and the other ‘Jody Sherman’ founder of the e-commerce site Ecomo. The list continues with Fashion Designers ‘Alexander McQueen’, ‘Kate Spade’ and A-List Actors such as ‘Robin Williams’ to name just a few.

Mental Health statistics show according to research done by the National Institute of Mental Health that an astonishing 49% of entrepreneurs are directly effected and 32 % are indirectly affected by mental health problems compared to just 48% of non entrepreneurs. The statistics are far greater because the pressure of success.

The study showed that 23% of entrepreneurs are affected because some family members may be experiencing mental health issues.

The biggest challenges entrepreneurs have, especially with their mental health is asking for help. Not only so but working all the hours God sends can be very lonely. It is hard to juggle a home life with a entrepreneurial life, often making sacrifices that can cause our personal relationships to crumble.

Furthermore when you see companies securing multi million dollar deals and you are bearly getting by, the feeling can sometimes be deflating. But one has to think that even these companies started out most probaby somewhere just like you and with staying focused and perserverance they have managed to climb the ladder. However even companies that are a success struggle with being No1 and continue to push themselves to perfectionism.

Good Leadership.

It is all about being honest and addressing the problems you have. By being in denial and sweeping your problems under the carpet won’t make your problems go away. If you are a successful business the pressure to maintain the status can be even far greater than starting out. There are organisation you can reach out to for help.

You do not have to announce to the world you have mental health issues but there is always someone you can talk to. If it is problem solving there is tonnes of information on the internet and companies that do business consulting. You could even have monthly employee mental health days where you get someone to talk about mental health in general. Not only will it be therapy for you it will also help your staff dealing with problems themselves. Your employees will see you are a compassionate leader which will gain you a lot of respect.

Retraining Your Brain.

Outsmarting your way of thinking can set you on the road ot recovery.

Practice the following Steps:

  1. Setup an action plan. Do your research and but your actions into motion. Set up a business plan, speak with people in your industry, speak to your business bank manager who can put you in touch with people. Consider Business Consultants and do networking.
  2. Setup a Support Network. Find people that will support you from friends, family, coaches and mentors. There are business social media platforms that you can exapnd your network and engage with like minded people.
  3. Allocate some quality time (me time). Take time off to reflect and relax so that when you return you are set to go. Even having a day off or even an afternoon off is better than nothing at all. In your free time do nothingat all or doing sometime you love.
  4. Have a dream board. Stick down all the goals you want to acheive and give yourself a deadline. Every day for five minutes before you start work look at your dream board and focus on why you are about to start the day and that you are one day closer to acheiving your dream. You could have a board you stick on your office wall or have one on your desktop home screen or in your diary (I keep one in my diary and it goes evrywhere with me).
  5. Keep a journal. Write down all your dreams and aspirations and take a daily note of your highs and your lows. (For me blogging is my therapy).
  6. Maintain a Good Diet. We are what we eat. Eating unhealthily will cause damage to our bodies. Treat your body like your office. You don’t store junk in your office so do not fill your body with junk food. Take vitamin supplements and trat your body like a temple.
  7. Maintain a Level of Excercise. Even if you find it difficult leaving your home, do some workouts at home. There are pleanty of YouTube videos you can adapt your exercise routine to.
  8. Reward Yourself. At the end of the week or month once you reach your daily or weekly goals give yourself a pat on the back and trat yourself. You don’t need to go overboard but give yourself something that will motivate you to complete another task, as in the suggestions below if your a woman.
  9. Help Others. By helping others you are also helping yourself. If you focus only on yourself you will fall into a spiral of loneliness and depression but if you help others and put your worries aside you ar not longer making yourself the centre spot. Remember there is always someone out there you can help.
  10. Consider Getting Medical Advice. The first port of call is your GP. If your are constantly worrying and are feeling anxious and depressed visit your GP who can prescribe you some antidepressants and something to help you sleep.

Final Thoughts.

“There is a solution to every problem and you are never alone as there is always someone that you can talk to. If you can not face speaking to someone directly over the phone you can send an email or contact form”.

Do also visit the Useful Links Page.

RECOMMENDATIONS.

Further Reading:

https://www.forbes.com/sites/danmurrayserter/2020/10/04/why-entrepreneurs-need-to-talk-about-their-mental-health/?sh=2de354b137d0

https://www.inc.com/magazine/201309/jessica-bruder/psychological-price-of-entrepreneurship.html

https://medium.com/amp/p/a0d62a3ed389

Lack of Motivation.

Lack of Motivation.

Lack of Motivation.

I do not know about you but I have days sometimes where I feel so deflated. I was talking about this with my daughter who said some days she feels she does not want to get out of bed. Or she wants to go to the Bahamas on her own. Not all of us can go to the Bahamas at a drop of a hat and some of us have obligations and commitments, so although the idea sounds appealing I am staying put for the time being.

Today is one of those days, I feel I just want to waste my time watching Amazon Prime Videos all day.

I do not drink alcohol, only on social occasions and this year there is nothing social about it. My OCD will not permit me going to Pubs which are open in Wales. Its unfortunate that our neighbour England is on lockdown again, but it is what it is and has to be done.

This got me thinking as I am very active on LinkedIn and a top recruiting firm in the UK, the CEO announced he was feeling not so motivated. He also said he was living alone which got me thinking how many other people are in the same boat and are contemplating their navals.

Life is full of obstacles and we need to find ways to train our brains that what ever is happening to us is just temporary and we have the power to change the situation.

If you have recently lost your job and are struggling to find work, what you do is create a job and be your own boss.

If your good with writing look for copy writing or data entry jobs. They are self employed positions.

You must promote yourself and your brand, no one will know you exist unless you tell them.

If you have a craft and are creative put your creativity online.

How about setting up your own ecommerce store and start dropshipping. With the current situation we are in, most people shop online.

Start a blog and do affiliate marketing. You need to create your blog first though before being approved for these programs.

What ever is going on with your life start being creative and start writng things down including all the pros and cons.

Start a dream board and focus on your goals.

Meditate and manifest your dream into reality.

My lack of motivation would disappoint my readers because if I did not write a post or two I would be letting people down.

I have gone too far now to give up.

I manage my clients blogs as well as my own so I have plenty of work to keep me busy.

But some days I feel sad because everything I do is not happening fast enough my goals seem so distant, but I know if I persevere I will get there in the end.

Motivation is the process that makes us initiates an action, whether it is getting up to go to the kitchen to researching and gaining knowledge online.

Our time is precious and should not be wasted. By learning something new, we are gaining knowlege which is more valuable than money or gold.

Motivation is defined by biological, emotional, social, and cognitive factors that activate our behavior.

Types of Motivation

There are two different types of motivation which are frequently described as being either extrinsic or intrinsic:

Extrinsic motivations are those that arise from outside our control and may involve rewards such as trophies, money, social recognition, or praise.

Intrinsic motivations are motivations that are from someone doing something off their own back like playing a game or completing a crossword puzzle purely for the personal gratification of problem solving.

Persistance.

When you set goals unless you follow them through you will not successed. You need to stay focused and need to be persistant.

Impact

Simply having the desire to accomplish something is not always enough. In order to achieve such a goal requires uou to follow it thorugh and not give up, the ability to persist through obstacles and endurance to keep going in spite of difficulties.

There are three major factors to motivation: activation, persistence, and intensity.

Activation involves the decision to start a specific task.

Persistence is the persisting effort towards a goal even though there may be obstacles.

Intensity is the ability to stay focused and concentrate into pursuing a goal.

You need to remember when you set your goals daily that you reward yourself for completing the task. You could do this at the end of the day, week or month. If you do not know how to reward yourself pay yoursef some money or treat yourself to something. By paying yourself and putting it into a seperate bank account you will be suprised how much money you make if your are persistant.

My downfall ten years ago was I did not know how to train my brain and was reckless with money. I was spiralling out of control was not fouced about my life and was living in cloud cuckoo land. I had no goals and felt my life had ended. It is only in the last five years I have done a lot of soul searching and gained a lot of knowledge online and its if the starter gun had been triggered because there is no stopping me now other than my mental health issues. But if I keep myself busy I have less time to think and less time to feel sorry for myself.

As for my financial habits I have now found a way to budget my money for everything and do not spend more that I need to. There ar plenty of money budget tools online but I use a simple word table and make it colourful. You could also do an excel spreadsheet.

So by doing this blog I am not just helping my readers I am also helping myself.

Tips

Everyone experience fluctuations in their motivation and willpower.

Sometimes we may feel highly driven and other times we may feel listless or unsure of what they want or how to achieve it.

If you feel low and simply have no energy, there are steps you can take that will keep you moving forward.

Some things you can do include:

  1. Take baby steps, just so one thing as I have done today with this post.
  2. If you have a big project that is too overwhelming, break it up into smaller projects.
  3. Have plenty of exercise and sleep.
  4. Change your diet and eat healthy
  5. Find Mentors.
  6. Do some networking.
  7. Remind yourself about your achievements in the past and what where your strengths lie.
  8. If there is something worrying you write it down do some reseach how to combat it.
  9. Talk to a friend or family member or on a group or forum, anywhere where someone is willing to listen and give advice.
  10. Take a bit of time out to do something else, knowing you always have your goal to come back to.
  11. Do not procrastinate, you have to believe in yourself even sometimes when no one else does.
  12. Create a Dream Board of all the goals you want to acheive in the next 5 year to 10 years.
  13. Meditate and envisge your goals manifesting.
  14. Reward yourself.
  15. Pamper yourself or if your a guy groom yourself.

Final Thoughts.

Do little things to make you life better and eventually you will make your confidence grow. Sometimes we have to start with ourselves and do a bit of soul searching and learn to love ourselves before we can find the power to prosper.

A seedling needs to be cared for on a daily basis before it gows into an oak tree!

Bipolar Disorder

What is Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is a mental health disorder that affects your mental state of mind and your moods. These mood swings can make the person feel very low or very high. Bipolar was originally referred to as manic depression.

Symptoms of  bipolar disorder:

Depression – feeling very low and lethargic

Mania – feeling very high and overactive

Unlike temporary random mood swings, each extreme episode of bipolar disorder can last for several weeks (or even longer).

However bipolar disorder carries excess baggage called depression. So depending if you are feeling very low will determine if you also have depression. Depression can be temporary and may last a few hours or a few days but when it rolls into weeks in can be defined as bipolar.

It can also have the polar opposite hence that is why it called bipolar you can be feeling very low or very high.

Feeling very high can include:

1). Exceptional energy

2). Restlessness

3). Trouble concentrating

4). Feelings of euphoria (extreme happiness)

5). Risky Behaviours

6). Poor Sleep

Patients may first be diagnosed with clinical depression before you have a manic episode (sometimes years later), after which they may be then as having diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

When the feeling of depression is too much to bear you may have overwhelming feelings of worthlessness, which can potentially lead to thoughts of suicide.

No one should suffer alone and if you think your life is pointless that is just your opinion and no one else’s, you can in fact pull your self out of this state by talking to someone or seeking advice.

If you’re feeling very depressed, contact your GP do not carry the burden yourself talk to someone, a friend, neighbour or family member. However if you feel you have no one to talk to at all there is the Samaritans you can phone them on: 116 123 for free who can listen and give you contact numbers to local mental health crisis teams without be judgmental or biased. They are just there to provide support so that you have someone you have someone you can talk to, you don’t even have to give your real name and you can hide your phone number. They are 100% on your side.

Catherine Zeta Jones Hollywood’s A-List Actress came out with being ‘Bipolar’.

There are four  types of bipolar disorder:

1). Bipolar 1 disorder

2). Bipolar 2 disorder

3). Cyclothymic disorder (cyclothymia)

4). Unspecified bipolar and related disorders

Catherine suffers from Bipolar 2 which is less debilitating .

Bipolar 1 and 2 disorders are the most common of all the other types of bipolar disorder.

Catherine mentions she never wanted to be a poster girl for the disorder and that it just happened to come out one day and now she labelled for having it.

There is nothing wrong with mental or physical disabilities and as she so rightly said “everyone suffers with one thing or another and you just get on with it” and adjust your life round your disability without it defining who you actually are.

People can manage with both physical and mental disabilities and can adjust their lives in a way that is manageable to them.

Final Thoughts.

I have OCD and Cerebellar Atrophy and I do have depression but my therapy is to keep myself busy and not have time to think about all the things that have gone wrong in my life but all the things that will make me happy.

I will not let these illnesses define me.

I am proud to be an ambassador to motivate and inspire people that what ever you are going through and whatever disability you have regardless if it is physical or mental that it is not the end of the world.

Use your disability as a stepping stone or tool to prosper. People who have similar disorders will relate to you.

Recommended Reading:

If you like my posts please comment and share.

Feeling Sad

We all go through moments in our live where we feel sad but for me I find it hard sometimes to deal with sadness, hence I consume myself with tons and tons of work so that I do not have to feel the pain.

However 99% of the time I can bury my sadness under a mountain of paperwork and on the rare occasions sadness rears its ugly head.

Today is one of those day I wrote a post on another blog about the implications of not maintaining social distancing and also that someone known to my family could be exposed to the virus through his works. https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2020/11/02/breaking-covid-regulations/

Unfortunately I cannot stop my daughter being in a relationship with this person and my daughter and I ended up in a heated argument where I said if this person does not get tested and is found to have contracted the virus and then it is passed to my daughter and I, I could potentially sue him and the company he works for because they have not sent home the bubble to quarantine.

My daughter immediatey went on his defence and said she was planning on moving out to live with this person and that she was washing my hands of me. I told her if she was to do that I would not support her, she would be on her own and she would not be able to come back. My father told me the same over 30 years ago hence that is why I ended up in Wales. It is not the first time my daughter has chosen her muppet boyfriends over me and told untrue tales to their parents to get some sort of sympathy. My daughter telling me she would wash her hands of me was like being stabbed in my heart.

Granted I told her “you make your bed and you lie in it, but do not think you can come back, you are an adult and you can make your own decisions, I have my own life in which you cannot come in and out of when you please”.

She knows about my depression and she knows that I do not talk to anyone about my problems I generally keep myself to myself, so you can imagine the sadness I am feeling right now.

Don’t get me wrong I will find other things to occupy my mind so that I do not have to think how much distain my daughter has towards me.

If I have coped with loss of my parents and my brother what is one more to the list, afterall I should be getting used to it by now.

I have a survival mechanism that takes time to kick but when it does I can block the feeling inside of me and anyone around me. I essentially am thick skinned and the more times I get hurt the colder I become.

With everything we do there are consequences with our actions, her boyfriend will feel my wrath if and when the time comes. I will tell him he was to blame for splitting my daughter and I up and he can take that to his grave.

In the course of the pandemic I not only have supported by daughter I have supported him also and has he even thanked me, of course he hasn’t, he is a very selfish individual.

I know what you must all be thinking and that is it will blow over and that my daughter will be different tomorrow, trust me he is influencing her to be independant of me. He does not like me and the feeling is mutual.

If you are feeling sad and have no one to talk to you can phone the Samaritans they are open 24/7 on 116 123 and they will not ask you any personal details like your name or where you live, you can stay anonymous, you can even withhold your telephone number, they are just there to listen and that is all. You can also email them at: jo@samaritans.org https://www.samaritans.org/?nation=wales

RECOMMENDED READING!

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