If you are starting out or already established you should get domains that are an exact match of searchable keywords or phrases.
If you already have one website you should consider setting up an SEO link wheel and driving traffic from different directions especially if you offer more than one service. A person looking for marketing may not think to check your web design website. Or if you are a hairdresser but also offer beauty therapy you could capture traffic using another site linked to yours.
I will keep this post short but we have listed some domain names which are at auction on Godaddy. You can also find them on Afternic.
The list can be found here:
If you are looking for a domain and it is not available we also offer an acquisition service.
My Online Journal is my safe space where I can share my stories and vent. I do not always write negatively but of late I have noticed blue-chip corporations treating people badly so not only is this my online therapy it also is a voice for people who cannot or do not know how to stand up for themselves.
I have not made an entry here for a while and yesterday was the ideal time to do some journaling and spill the beans.
The morning started out with me phoning all my insurance providers as I had deleted some direct debits in error. I suffer from cognitive impairment caused by cerebellum atrophy and sometimes muddle my words up. The words can be very overwhelming for me at times. Being stressed does not help and where I should have canceled one insurance policy, I actually canceled three. As it turns out the other two direct debits were obsolete, but still having to phone all nine companies was challenging.
The other problem I have is dreading talking over the phoneso when I tried to rectify the problem via email I was point-blank declined and was told to call. The calling is not so bad but it listening to the prompts Press #1 for what you had for breakfast Press #2 what you had for lunch and #Press #3 just to annoy you more (just kidding) although I have been subjected to up to 4 minutes of this from various companies before the annoying music starts playing. God forbid if your call drops and you have to start all the BS all over again.
Insurers do not make it easy, so although you may take out insurance by a said insurer the underwriters a separate company collect payment. So there could be the same underwriter for multiple insurers which can make it difficult when trying to find out who is who. I have done a spreadsheet so that I do not get caught out again, but by the 9th insurer I had enough, yet my day was only starting.
What rattled me was, that I was paying £65 at the beginning of the year then it went up to £90, and yesterday she wanted £138 per month. I was told I use more gas than the average household. The way I see it regardless if I did not use any gas at all, I still would have to pay for the service. I am not going to reduce the quality of my life and sit at home freezing cold. or only cook once a week. If a person is struggling to pay £90 then how the hell are they supposed to find the money to pay £138?
“A little bit of maths and common sense would not go a miss“.
“What are people supposed to do, do they have to rob banks or starve”?
Someone on LinkedIn commented “that charity starts a home”, but what she failed to comprehend was the support in the event of a military attack on these countries will be money in BJs / Chancellor of the Exchequers Pockets so to speak. W#ar is big business at the expense of the people. How do you accumulate wealth if you do not lend money or charge interest on the money you lend out? This is how the money system works. If you lone out jets, sell ballistic and nuclear missiles you have to get paid and its one big game of the winner takes it all.
I do not support the funding of the lavish lifestyles of the 1%that think they own us and rob us blind. I never agreed to slaving away, did you?
No one owns me. I have a voice and I am not afraid to use it!
I am a spiritual being in a physical body and we are here for a reason and it is to teach others, empower and motivate and not steal, abuse, or kill, we are supposed to be intelligent human beings, not animals.
We should be able to distinguish right from wrong and if the likes of P#tin who orders the mass killings then he is no better than something that has just crawled out of a sewer. These people are vermin.
In fact, any person in power that has done wrong should be punished the same way as a member of public and should also be kicked out of office, I refer to certain politicians, that got a slap on the wrist and fines, for their publicised antics.
There is a Scottish MP trending at the moment that allegedly had £25 Million in Funding For PPE that supposedly ended up being used due to it not being of high quality and was returned. This MP is now being investigated.
Just imagine if this was the average entrepreneur that had done this, they would be facing a custodial sentence for fraud, but I guess if you own 6 houses (one in Belgravia in London) you have enough money to pay for a jail-free card on the monopoly board.
I spoke about a previous post about why people do not care and the customer representative said that people do care and that she cared (no they don’t unless it directly affects them). She then asked could she help me with anything else and I said “help me bring in more clients”, the call then ended without any feedback on my remark…I rest my case!
Reference the money she expected me to agree to I said I will pay, but will not be able to eat and the CEO of British Gaswill certainly not have a problem bringing food to the table whilst I will and this is where she started to be sympathetic.
I got my frustration out, if nothing else, and told her she was professional and had a calming voice, I just did not mention the fact she made me feel bad at the beginning of the conversation as what would have been the point. I felt had I not mentioned I am self-employed the conversation would have been slightly different.
Do you think it is by chance this P#tin W#ar has broken out or is it something to do with the deficit spending and all the price rises? Have you forgotten about Brexit and how much money UK is in debt by and how much money they have to pay back, never mind the trade w#ar in China and the USA. Putting the jigsaw pieces together can you not see a picture emerging?
These blue-chip companies get a 6% commission for our sweat, labor, and hardship. Do you think that the dictator started the w#ar himself or was it pre-arranged at the round table, by a selected few?
People at the top of the food chain seem to think they own and control you and in a way they do.
An example of a battery in the matrix was Virgin Media which I have for months had an ongoing dispute again I have communicated by email and have told them not to phone me and what do they do? they only phone even though I specifically requested not to. What was interesting though my phone was on “do not disturb” but they managed to get through and the phone rang. I re-iterated how much emotional distress they put me through and I am still no closer to a resolution as the email I was promised I would have, never materialized.
So you can imagine the poor sod on the other end of the line receiving my wrath and me saying “if you read my email do you not understand English”, his reply was he was ordered by someone above him to phone me and my final reply was that he obviously did not have the balls to stand up to the person. Most people are afraid of speaking up in the workplace for the fear of being fired. People go to work like sheep to get their paychecks the majority do not go to work because they love the company that employs them they are solely there to do a job and get paid. They are human robots being told what to do. Their “VOICE” in the metaphorical sense of the word is taken away, they are slaves to the employer for the hours they work.
Anxiety& Panic Attack.
The day continued with my brother telling me that he is coming over to the UK at Christmas. Under normal circumstances, I should be ecstatic but I am having a panic attack simply thinking about it.
I have not left my home for three years due to social disconnection and OCD, actually, tell a lie I went out once to meet him last year for the day and I felt so ill after that but he was oblivious to my disability. He told me that I have to arrange my schedule and my work around him. He told me we will be talking this weekend coming.
Notice how my disability and my work are of no significance to him and I have to just get over myself.
The icing on the cake was the final straw that broke the camel’s back so to speak with my neighbor announcing she is moving within the month. she without a doubt had to be the nicest neighbor I have ever had, she was always kind, and caring and never did me wrong. I will miss her.
I do believe nothing standstills and when one door closes another one opens so although I felt very depressed yesterday with low self-esteem. That was yesterday though and your mood can change if you stay occupied and not dwell on what is bothering you. I am hopeful about tomorrow and about brighter things to come. I am fortunate I have an online journal to vent my anger which I can share with whoever wants to read my challenges. I did come across a website called (www.storiboard.co.uk) not mine may I add but a portal to share your stories.
Telling Your Story.
Anyone reading this who wants a platform to share their stories is more than welcome to subscribe here and I will make you a contributor or will manually upload your stories for you. It won’t cost you a penny only your time, it is completely free.
I have gone through a lot over the last two decades (I won’t go into it all here but I am a ‘survivor of domestic violence‘ and and this is what drives me to tell my story) I won’t say I am strong all the time. I have good days and bad days and yesterday was a bad day for me but I know I will get over it. I am still standing and I won’t let anyone break me, sure they can try but when they knock me down and I get back up again so help me God.
I will be writing my biography soon and I will be calling out all the people that have done me wrong. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not awkward or vengeful, I just think some people deserve their five minutes of fame.
No one on this planet is better than you, we all do the same things, we eat, sleep and go to the bathroom, and we all cannot survive without water or air. We all have red blood and if Adam and Eve were the first people, then their children would have been inbred so we are all brothers and sisters. The world is an evil place with evil people living in it trying to suck the last ounce of happiness out of you. They should be very worried about what happens to them after they die. Just because some use 24kt Gold WCs does not make them any better than you. We all have the right to live on this planet in harmony and without having to worry about where the next paycheck is going to come from and if we can put food on the table. No one should fear for their lives or be killed for some political agenda. No one should lose their life for the sake of debt ceilings and deficit spending.
“The Hidden Secrets of Money” By Mile Maloney.
I have an invisible disability and I expect to be acknowledged as a human being and not be judged, I expect people to give me the respect I deserve. I do not need anyone giving me advice, or being patronizing, after all when it comes to mental health I specialize in the subject hence why I built this site.
Never assume anything with me without asking me first.
I know if my finances improved so would my mental health. My cerebellum atrophy is incurable but with new drugs coming on the market anything is possible. I am staying positive and hopefully, someone reading this will invest in me.
One day soon you will learn what one particular “evil animal” did to me and how I am recovering.
I have audio recordings of all the death threats he made to me.
He is no longer residing in the UK, he left last December for Germany however within a month of him starting work he was fired due to an altercation with a woman at his place of work, why does that not surprise me.
Unfortunately, because he does not speak fluent English he was unable to set up an email address so I did it for him and forwarded all his emails to me for translation purposes with his consent, however, I have no access to his settings anymore, and cannot un-forward myself hence I get his emails and all the antics he is getting up to.
I use outlook and have blocked his email but people sending emails to him still come into my inbox. I have started marking them as spam as I have no other way of stopping any communication.
Remember not all that glitters is gold and that was my mistake and I have learned the hard way.
One day I will rise from the ashes and tell my full story.
Tomorrow is another dayand I aim for a brighter future!
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Finally, Christmas is nearly over, thank God for that…
I am fed up with seeing how happy people are flaunting their Christmas gatherings to the world that may make other people who find Christmas difficult this time of year, very daunting.
Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for everyone who can enjoy Christmas but to flaunt it around people who are not so fortunate to spend Christmas with their loved ones is sinful and conceited.
The same goes with people showing off how much money they have or being judgemental because they have a house but in reality, it is mortgaged up to the hilt. Nine times out of ten people wearing designer clothes are not as rich as they make out.
I for one own multiple digital real estate but for the ordinary person this may not be something they understand. Not everyone knows the value of domain names and the equity that may hold.
Regardless of whether it is a bricks-and-mortar property or a digital asset, it is still deemed to have value and people need to educate themselves before casting judgment.
As for Christmas, I am fed up with people asking me what I did and who I spent it with. I did “Jack Diddly Squat” for Christmas because I do not celebrate it anymore, what is there to celebrate when both my parents and my brother are no longer alive?
Christmas Day is just another day. For me, I stayed home alone over Christmas as my daughter stayed over with her boyfriend’s family but that was fine with me because I took advantage of the time to relax.
I must admit my Christmas did not go without a hitch and was stressful because of a couple of incidents with Amazon delivery and yesterday’s fiasco where my bath had sprung a leak and flooded my neighbor’s ceiling.
I ended up having a full-on panic attack and could not stop the water from pouring because my bath was not holding in the water and apparently as I found out today the silver part of the drain had come loose which caused water to not empty through the waste pipe but directly onto the floorboards and onto my neighbor’s ceiling, as you can see by the video.
So as you can imagine it took its toll on my health yesterday to the point that after the contractor left today, I ended up falling asleep for a good few hours during the day which is unusual for me as I never do that.
With this said, I spoke to someone today about my health and it seems that no matter what I say it goes over people’s heads.
I stated I have a problem with social disconnection and also problems walking because of my bad knee and it is as if they cannot comprehend that I cannot walk far because I am not on crutches or do not have a walking stick.
I stated, after a couple of times coming up and down my stairs, my knee gets painful and swells and this is what the person said to me and I quote “It will be nice to walk around the park and get some fresh air“. My response online to this is “did they not hear what I said I cannot walk far“, and how is walking around the park going to benefit me in any way?, what about the time I would have to take off from my work?
You would not expect any successful entrepreneur to put their businesses on hold for leisurely strolls.
Another thing people do not understand if they have never run a business before is that a self-employed person’s income is not guaranteed, they have to work ten times harder than an employee to find leads and keep them. An employee takes their wages for granted as it is a secure income for them for the duration they work for a company. However, with the uncertainty of the high street and hospitality sector and business closures because of the pandemic, an entrepreneur has to do everything they can to secure their business and make it run smoothly, never mind make sure their clients pay them on time. Running a business is not a walk in the park.
I also stated about social disconnection and also the fact I cannot walk very far, this did not comprehend with this person. Not only that, I picked up on some mockery when I laughed about something I said (and the person in the background thought they were being clever and funny by mimicking my laugh, repeating the tone of my laugh), which I purposely ignored but will not forget.
If I want to have fresh air I simply have to open my front door or buy oxygen in a can.
I do not take kindly to people being ignorant and pretending to be my friend just so that they can gossip about me after. I have never been bosom pals with this person even though I have known them for over 20 years, my gut feeling tells me they are false and think highly of themselves.
Furthermore, I know I do not live in a palace at the moment, granted, but trying to imply that they somehow are more superior to me because their property is a mortgaged new build and mine is falling apart rented Listed Georgian House, they do not have the right to be judgemental as they do not know my circumstances and I should not have to explain myself to them.
I was told I could phone them anytime for a chat. I understand they may have had good intentions when saying that but I have nothing in common with them, what exactly would we be chatting about, they are not on the same page as me and never will be? If I need mental health support I have my useful links page to fall back on.
With social disconnection, people like myself do not need other people in their lives and do not like socializing. It is not due entirely to the fact of mental health issues with me it is more so I chose who I wish to spend company with and I am 100% focused on my work. Granted I am wary of intermingling with people because of the pandemic, but I am much happier not being around people physically, I much rather connect with people online.
According to statistics social isolation or disconnection significantly increase a person’s risk of premature death from all causes, a risk that may rival those of smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity. Social isolation is associated with about a 50% percent increased risk of dementia because people’s brains are not as active if they stay at home, where loneliness and boredom kick in.
The above statement I agree to disagree. I choose the company I keep and I am extremely active online, so I am keeping my brain working. I do not smoke and will not say I am obese, perhaps slightly overweight. But again I can always do exercise at home if I really wanted to.
I am always learning and people seem to underestimate me by trying to be do-gooders. I would not have been able to build four businesses for myself and multiple businesses for other people if I was short of a shilling or two.
For me I find writing therapy and learning new things, I love reading and watching documentaries. I always keep myself busy. I am currently researching neuroplasticity, neuroscience, and quantum physics. I have recently completed a course on hypnotherapy and plan to take on more courses in the New Year.
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Did you know that rich people get depressed just like the disabled, working-class, and poor? In fact, in our current climate, everyone gets depressed at some point in their lives regardless, of gender, ethnicity, job title, social status, wealth, or physical and mental disabilities?
There is no such thing as a perfect world or perfect lifestyle that most of us try to strive for. The higher we climb the harder we fall and with more wealth, there will be more problems.
Rich people are prone to depression because a lot of money of their net worth exists in untouchable assets such as home equity and retirement accounts, not only pressures of work can take their toll on a person’s mental state. For rich people some of the time their wealth only exists on paper and they cannot spend it and run the risk of disappearing due to market conditions.
Rich people spend less time with their families and more time at work, this then puts strain on relationships.
Where the working class person can allocate time to spend with their families in the evenings and weekends and middle to high-class entrepreneurs will prioritize their business in order to run a tight ship. with no time wasted and every day is one day closer to striking gold and more gold. Not everyone is born privileged.
However, saying this person is born privileged or is famous and in the public arena may find it difficult to live normal lives. They cannot just pop down to a local cafe or supermarket their every move is documented so they live in a secluded place away from prying eyes.
The upper class and born privileged person may not understand about other classes and with money flowing may take their wealth for granted but again a wealthy person may also experience depression as they cannot walk on Gods earth freely without being followed by paparazzi and may have to have an entourage of security guarding them. They cannot walk into a store or go anywhere public. They are imprisoned in their own surroundings. They may not have the freedom to do things randomly unlike the rest of the world.
Most CEOs, founders, the innovators are prone to depression more so than the average person, possessing subtle psychopathic traits and be more prone to addiction.
Their addiction and obsession with work only fuel the fire to not fail. Rich people may also turn to alcohol and recreational drugs to self-medicate. These tendencies may even help the individual rise to such heights through their insecurities.
It is also suggested that even privileged rich kids are, counter-intuitively, more depressed and anxious than their middle- or low-income peers. This could be because a social group trap is so tight-knit that it would be virtually impossible to make friends out of their social circle, giving rich kids less freedom. Rich kids do not mix with poor kids or vice versa.
People on low incomes have lower expectations and working-class families learn to cope with the bare minimums and are truly grateful for what they have, which high class have more expectations and are not grateful of what they have because they always want more and better things than the Jones’s. Low-class families are more humble and can show more empathy and understand that a less privileged person will be eternally grateful for any help that is given to them.
Hence a lower class family will be eternally grateful compared to a wealthy family. Whilst a wealthy family will expect the best of the best and if they do not get what they desire they may experience anxiety and depression. There is currently not enough research about the prevalence of depression in the upper vs. the lower socioeconomic classes within a country.
Psychologists who have treated the very high-functioning C-suite types over the years have collected data consensus that tells them that people of high social status and enormous wealth are prone to major depression for a variety of reasons than people of other socioeconomic strata.
Todd Essig, a Forbes writer, and psychologist in New York City said “Uber-success can be depressogenic”. “Many C-suite executives are prone to depression, despite their success, maybe even because of it.”
Depression can affect the lives of everyone, in any stratum.
Regardless if you are rich, poor, or with a disability, no one is immune to anxiety and depression.
However, people who have extreme success are more prone to depression because a person who is successful has chased their own dream and is more protective of it causing isolation and the pressures to keep it a success and not to fail can cause a person to isolate.
People of extreme successes are more prone to criticism there will always be competitors and haters and people just watching and waiting for them to fail.
A person in the public eye may not always have people who will believe in their success.
In this not-so-perfect world where most of us want a perfect life, this is virtually impossible as money cannot buy you happiness. It is a constant battle to please people to have people on the same page as you and there will always be people that are jealous and will say things out of context just to hurt you. It is a constant battle to stay on top which triggers depression in those you’d least expect it. People who are successful, wealthy, and with a disability may find even more pressure to not fail and have to work even harder to get around obstacles. In fact, some of the most successful people in history have suffered from relentless, incapacitating depression – some have won their battles, or, at least, continued to battle, yet some, sadly, succumb to them.
Comparing yourself to the Joneses
People who are extremely successful and very wealthy will always want the best of the best and will always compete with one another to have something grander. This could be the best-hosted party in which mingling with other wealthy people only puts more pressure to make their event even more spectacular. Their competitors, neighbor, or friends dripping with jewels then their jewels would have to be bigger and more expensive, this could also be designer clothes, accessories, cars, properties, etc. They constantly compare themselves to the Joneses. Countries that are low-income, on the other hand, have low depression rates. However even countries with low wealth still like to compete, you should see the graves in Poland the bigger and grander reflects the wealth of the family.
Some people habitually measure their self-worth by materialistic items that they own. Even people of low wealth try to portray they are rich by wearing designer clothes and accessories but in reality, they do not have two pennies to rub together. Not everything that glistens is gold.
People of working or low class have time to delegate their free time whilst a person who is an entrepreneur will be more driven in making their business succeed and may neglect family in order to concentrate on making their business a success. Once at the top of the ladder they will constantly be overprotective to make their business stay in the number one spot. This adds further stress and anxiety and eventually depression.
People of the lower class do not have the same expectations and those of the working or middle or higher class. They may be complacent to what they have and will not be driven to improve their lives they will not have the same pressure as working or middle-class people. Entrepreneurs are on the spectrum of the lower, working, middle and upper class but they have a key goal to succeed. They will battle to climb the ladder. To achieve extreme success, a person needs to dedicate an extraordinary amount of time and effort to get there, which can make for a life that feels precipitous and lonely.
People climbing the ladder may find everyday things that people take for granted like spending time with family mundane and not proactive. Going for leisurely walks or taking time out to exercise may be an ordeal and you will be surprised that many successful people have their own Gyms or exercise bikes in their offices. Also engaging in meaningless conversations and socializing with people that do not have the same vision adds even more pressure to socially disconnect.
People who have been born wealthy and do not have to ever worry about putting food on the table may find it hard to cope if they find themselves in uncharted territory. People born into wealth do not understand and may find it harder to cope with life problems as they have always been shielded from it. Arnold Washton, a psychologist at Compass Health Group said that depression may also be more common in people who have only known wealth, since they may not be familiar with bootstrapping themselves through difficult times. However, people who self-made millionaires or billionaires may be more resilient as they have experienced the struggles of getting to the top and they know what to expect. A self-made millionaire, a billionaire has more authority to teach people about wealth than someone who was born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
Thehigher you rise the harder you fall.
To be always vigilant and be prepared for disasters and knowing from all the mistakes and failures you have had will give you a building block to start again. Having a stepping stone if things go belly up and being able to reinvent yourself is one key factor to making sure you succeed. If something is not working quite right create another building block. When business is bad, it goes without saying that depression would be more likely. In good economic times, even if every milestone is hit at exactly the right point, some may find that they feel they have failed. Rather than let everything come tumbling down have strategies in place for every economic disaster.
Just because someone is super-wealthy does not mean you have to be less empathetic towards them. By helping them get through their depression will encourage them to help you. The super-rich also have bills to pay and have obligations just like you and I. Obviously our bills are nothing compared to the magnitude of theirs but it’s bills all the same. Unless a person is a ruler of the land or oil tycoon even then the laws of the land may forbid their relatives to live normal lives. Even princesses have attempted to escape certain countries because they want to live normal lives. Knowing a person is depressed regardless of their stature one can only offer a helping hand this could be just an anonymous talk or perhaps advice and links to organizations.
Rich Person Insecurities.
Keeping up with the Jones
Health Issues, Mental Health, Physical and Mental Disabilities
Wealth/Money cannot buy you health or happiness. Wealth? Money is a tool and a monetary exchange for something you desire. Wealth can satisfy your needs and fill in an empty void, it can help secure your future and your family’s future but it cannot buy you health or happiness. Having material things and assets may make you feel more superior but it will never make you happy.
The key to happiness is knowing that what you do helps others. However to be happy you need to be healthy and you have to treat your body like a temple. If you look after your body it will look after you the spiritual being in the physical body.
If someone is suffering from depression and recognizes they have a problem this does not make them weak. By reaching out to someone is the first step to healing.
Sharing your pain, your worries, and anxieties are the first step to alleviating the problem. A person who is suffering should not suffer alone and needs to reach out to someone or seek professional help.
Regardless of the person’s title or wealth status, we are all human at the end of the day.
Regardless of who you are you can drop us a line you do not have to give your real name and you can set up a Gmail email if you simply feel life is unbearable we are here to lend an ear and we can offer suggestions.
Whatever you are going through you do not have to go through it alone. You are not the first or the last person to suffer and you should not suffer in silence.
Taking People For Granted, Assuming, Presuming and Mental Health.
People make assumptions as an efficient way to process the world. It is a shortcut to knowing the facts. As one Yale neurobiology professor explained, the brain’s vast neural network requires huge amounts of energy to keep it running: … One way our brain saves energy is by making assumptions. Making assumptions can ruin people’s lives.
Assume vs Presume
Presume is a verb that means to suppose, to take for granted, or to dare. Assume is a verb that means to suppose, to take for granted, to take upon, to do, or to undertake.
Assume and presume both mean “to take something for granted” or “to take something as true.” The difference between the words lies in the degree of confidence held by the speaker or writer. … ‘Presume‘ is the word to use if you’re making an informed guess based on reasonable evidence.
Therefore as an example I ask you some questions.
These are all hypothetical questions.
Would you assume for example someone could find nearly $100 per month only by giving them one month’s notice for an increase in rent? Would you presume they could afford to find the $100?
The second question would you assume someone who is self-employed to drop everything because you were arriving without even asking them if the date of your arrival was suitable for them? or would you presume they would just find the time because you snapped your fingers?
The third question would you message a VIP and assume they have time to chat with you or that they will phone you when what you could say could have been written in an email that would take a minute or two to read, or would you expect that person to take time out of their busy schedule to hear you waffle on about something that could have been put in writing? or would you presume they would drop what they are doing to casually chat with you?
Would you assume or presume that whoever you asked to call you or meet you could afford to do so? Would you assume or presume that their finances can meet the budget of an excursion for example or meeting up to go to a fancy restaurant? A self-employed person has more commitments than the average person, they have to pay the overheads of their business not just their own personal expenses.
These are all hypothetical questions that a disabled entrepreneur is faced with and I want to teach people to consider others before making rash decisions. It is unfair to put anyone on the spot regardless of their status, disability or situation.
Always discuss things and be very understanding and be respectful of someone’s wishes. Never judge based on a person’s choices.
Always find out the facts first and understand people’s circumstances before making plans or assumptions.
A self-employed person may not have the time to meet and maybe 100% dedicated to their work. “Just because you have free time or work for someone else, there is a difference. If you work for someone else your wage is guaranteed, however, if you work for yourself your income is not”.
Do take off your rose-colored tinted glasses before making plans. There is a saying “put your brain in gear before putting your mouth in motion”.
People with Rose–colored tinted glasses tend to be optimistic and have a cheerful way of looking at life. … Someone who looks at things through rose-colored tinted glasses looks on the bright side, sees the glass half full, and looks for a silver lining in all things. So their way of thinking maybe if you lose work because of a casual meet-up to not to worry as another job will come along, having a go-lucky attitude. They also may think that life is too short to worry about finances and just go with the flow and live for the moment. Their excuses will always override your thinking and you cannot win.
NEVER ASSUME OR PRESUME ANYTHING!
Do not assumeor presume that people can talk to you when they are working 24/7.
Do not assumeor presume people can meet you even for five minutes if they have a busy schedule or a critical time path and manage other people’s businesses.
Do not assumeor presume people can pull money out of their a##es just because you are demanding. Think about what this will do to a person’s mental state of mind if you go on your high horse and be expectant.
You would not expect, assumeor presume the likes of say, someone like “Elon Musk” to drop everything for you so do not think you are so special that anyone will drop everything for you.
Consider the other person’s circumstances before assumingor presuming they can travel. They may have health issues and may find it difficult to travel. Do not assumeor presume that someone with a physical or mental disability will recover miraculously within a short space of time of your arrival, never assume or presume anything.
Never assumeor presume that within a month someone can find an extra $100 per month for a rent increase when they could have lost business because of the pandemic or their job.
Never invite yourself to anyone’s home without asking them first if it is convenient, do not assume or presume that you turning up someone will drop everything for you.
“It really rattles me when people are so narrow-minded and do not care about anything apart from themselves”.
I am venting my anger because not only do I have time wasters trying to waste my precious time, attempting me to do work but refusing to sign contracts, I also have those that think they can waste my precious money.
Do take people’s circumstances into consideration especially if they are running a business and have health issues.
If you want to see someone but they are not comfortable meeting you consider Facetime, Skype, Zoom, Teams to name a few, I personally do not have to see you in person.
Do not assume or presume that I for one will drop everything for you because you are arriving, you should never put anyone on the spot and expect to meet if you know they have health issues.
Do not assume or presume that my health issues will miraculously go away within a short space of time when I personally have battled my illness for 30 years. Do not put people on the spot and force them into a situation they do not want to be in.
Do not be selfish.
Do not assumeor presume because you are turning up on a weekend that someone such as myself does not work weekends. Always find out the facts and give the other person plenty of time to make adjustments if at all possible and discuss a happy medium where both parties can agree to something, consider the person’s disabilities, and do not expect too much from that person if you care about them.
Ask in advance if that particular date is suitable for both parties concerned, do not assume or presume that they can take time off work, and be aware that may lose business because of your selfish,careless thinking.
Life lesson does not matter how old you are, if you want something from someone be prepared to compensate them for their time, service, and resources.
Never assumeor presume people’s financial circumstances or their health and never assume or presumeto take up people’s time.
Assumption can lead to resentmentand animosity. Always communicate properly and understand that people that run small businesses may not have free time especially if they are trying to build their empires. Always consider other people’s circumstances first before being selfish.
There are so many self-centered people in this world, that simply only care about themselves but live a lie pretending they care about others, do not be one of them!
Note From the Editor.
Putting my health issues aside for a moment, I run several businesses www.irenata.com, and manage over 100 websites. I support startups that may not have the money to pay for a website upfront but want a helping hand to get them started. In return, they recommend me to other businesses. Just because I have over 100 websites they may not all be payable until the end of the trial period. Where I have to dedicate at least 2-4 hours of work a month to each website, so do the maths, that is 2-4 x hours per website x 100 websites = 200 – 400 hours per month divided by 4 weeks is 50 -100 hours a week which divided by 7 daysis 7-14 hours per day without me doing anything else, so where have I find the time to meet up for a casual chit chat? I don’t and I can’t. I am not going to jeopardize my business for anyone.
This Is How My Critical Time Path Should Look Like below:
However, I cannot keep to my plan and most certainly cannot take time off work.
“So before assuming or presuming I can take time off work, take into consideration that I run several businesses of my own and manage other people’s businesses also”, so do the maths.
So before being judgemental and labeling me,I will protect my business with my life and will put it before anyone and anything else. I know there are people who are just watching and waiting for me to fail but I will not let that happen.
“Just because I have a disability does not make me crazy”.
If I choose not to waste my time walking around a park aimlessly for 10 minutes a day that’s my business. If I want fresh air I can step outside or if I want to do exercise I can do it in the comfort of my home.
I can manage my disabilities using my own methodology and do not like people trying to change my way of thinking unless I specifically ask them to.
If you have not walked in my shoes you have no right to make opinions, assumptions, or presumptions.
I have also updated the Disclaimer Page & added a Networking Page under the heading Legal Pages, this is to let viewers know that the owner of this site uses a SEO Link Wheels to generate traffic and that all the Websites and Blogs are all under one umbrella belonging to Renata M Barnes (UK Website Designers) You will see the credit in the footer of all the websites I own and also manage for other clients.
Moving on I have also started to intergrate video marketing into my services. This is a useful tool to attract business and I am now offering it to my clients. You can view a the portfolio of Videos here.
As for my health it is starting to deteriorate as the pressures and daily stresses of life can sometimes be overwhelming. I am fighting hard for it not to beat me but when my own health professionals are working against me rather than for me it can be too much to bear…….I will explain.
Not only am I disabled I also have a disabled daughter that I am officially a carer for, so when I see red flags I tend to question things as in the case of my GP who threatens you if you make waves. Read the latest on this Surgery that has brought me to breaking point: https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/category/bayer-pharmaceutical/ All I was doing was voicing my concerns as my daughter is classed as a vulnerable person and I was told I lack respect to the highly qualified pharmacist and clinician at the surgery and was told that seeing there is a breakdown of doctor/patient relationship it would be in my best interest to find another surgery.
“I am really struggling with my health and have developed social disconnection disorderand have a fear of venturing out. The less face to face human interaction I have, the happier I feel”. I have been hurt too many times to care to mention and the people I trusted the most betrayed me. In my lifetime I have experienced discrimination, racial attacks, have been abused physically and mentally and have been physically assaulted, disrespected, undermined, critised, judged, belittled, robbed, have felt sadness, dispair and dealt with grief. All these things are contributing factors to my mental disability, which has been caused by other people and entities.There is no denying my mental health is due to a domino effect caused by direct consequences to other peoples actions.
It is because of certain individuals and certain events that I am this way. I am 58 yrs old and have met my fair share of people over the years and I can count on my one hand how many people I can trust. I can also name each and every single person and entity responsible for my ill health and the reasons why.
Some cope by turning to drinking alcohol or taking recreational drugs. People smoke cigarettes claiming it calms their nerves, I do not smoke cigarettes, do not drink alcohol or take recreational drugs but depend on the prescription medication that are prescribed for me. Everyone has different ways with coping with stress, trauma and life events, mine is documenting everything (therapeutic) and adapting around my disabilities aswell as trying to help others.
I also cancelled my Covid-19 Vaccine appointment as I have a severe anaphylaxis allergy to PEG where I was vaccinated with steriod in the past which had polythylene glycol in fact over the years I have had many anaphlaxis allergies including severe breathing difficulties from penicillin and severe skin allergy where my face looked reptilian and I was in excrutiating pain, all of which is on my medical records. https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2021/03/19/polyethylene-glycol-peg-allergy-as-a-cause-of-anaphylaxis/ I am not prepared to take any risks with my life or become more ill than I already am. At least with my OCD, Depression I can manage my life to a certain degree and can work around my disabilities. But being off work fully is inconceivable and is something I cannot do as I have obligations to my clients.
I have to be online every single day, imagine being too ill to work what would happen to your business if you had no one to help you? Your clients are not going to say “ok call us when you feel better”, the food chain still has to carry on. I have heard the second vaccine is worse the the first but I am waiting on herd immunity to kick in as I do not plan venturing out any time soon.
I would not describe myself as a hypochondriac as all my disabilities are medically documented. I try not to think about illnesses unless it is affecting me directly and at any given time. I try to actually block out my disabilities and try to live a relatively normal life to a certain degree (although there is nothing normal about me). The world on the internet is not going to know about my disabilities unless they bother to do some research about me, so me sitting in front of a computer screen I am as normal as the next person.
I cannot be critised for having no empathy. I will help people in need but will never make it personal. If someone needs me to lend them my ear or a shoulder I will try and help.
To be frank I have coped better than most during the Covid-19 Lockdown. My business has improved as people have turned to the internet for a second income stream. Where I had issues about people bumping into you and not looking where they where going in the past, it is as if the heavens have opened up and had everyone stay 2 metres apart (not that I go out anywhere though).
Wearing disposable latex gloves is no longer questionable and I do not feel the odd one out anymore.
I do miss going out once a month with my daughter when she and I used to go up to the hospital for her to have her monthly blood done and then we would go to a restaurant in the city centre. I won’t say I will never go again as they say “never say never”, but it is going to take me a long time to adjust to the new surroundings and facing people at the moment is really causing me distress. I am fine with the grocery and courier drivers but that is as far as I am willing to interact physically with other people other than my family.
“I do have a goal and that is to make enough money for me to retire comfortably and for my daughter to have a head start in life. My priority is my family and my business and nothing else”.
I won’t let this general practice surgery beat me. I have a long list of people I can complain to.
Coping With Mental Health in General.
Take time out to have some TLC. Do something that will make you happy and relaxed. Try to occupy you mond with something else other than what is worrying you.
If you work for a company see if they have an HR department that deals with mental health. If not suggest that they do have a department and volunteer to be a spokesperson, you will no longer be seen as a follower and more so as a leader. Every business no matter how big or small should have some sort of department to air your worries and anxieties and perhaps meet up once a week to just chat. However if you find that there is no such option and you have had no alternative to tell your employer, he/she has a responsibility under Equalities Act to be obliging and to accommodate you and your condition if it is considered a long term affliction. You may not be the only one that is suffering so considering starting a club even after work can make all the difference.
Stay focused it is easy to just to clock watch until the hour hand hits 5 o’clock but that does not help you or your employer hence you need to set goals and try to make some progress on a daily basis. You should concentrate on the work in hand but at the same time consider starting a second income stream and do research and learn. Reading helps people to stay motivated and empowers them to learn a new skill. This skill could help your employer or can help you to break away and go it alone.
Do not over critisie yourself, if things are not going your way, tomorrow is another day. Accepting the fact that we all experience good days and bad days is just a way of life and we need to learn to overcome obstacles that come our way. For me venting my anxiety, anger and frustration online is therapeutical. I know some one will read it and will relate. I also think that what I write could actually help someone other than myself.
The impact of problems such as depression and anxiety are unique and individual to each and every one of us and how we cope with them and different situations of life is equally as individual. Above I have merely mentioned some advice on dealing with issues of mental health in the workplace, but speaking to your GP and building a network of support are arguably the most important steps you can take in your recovery. For me I personally will not be relating my anxieties any time soon to my GP if I still have one, as it is practice management that you tell the reception first what is wrong with you, what ever happend to GDPR and not sharing the information with anyone other than your doctor. According to an inspection report that I downloaded on another post I made https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2021/03/30/gp-surgeries-are-small-businesses/ the receptionists have to sign a non disclosure agreement. This is hog wash if they wish to talk about you without actually mentioning you name.
Just because I have a mental health disability does not make me less of a person. My disability does not define me and make me less intelligent, in fact on the contrary my disability is my ‘Super Power’ and although it comes with challenges it gives me strength and purpose to carry on and help motivate and empower others that having a disability is not the end of the world and you can still achieve your aspirationsand all you need is a gentle push.Never let some tell you it cannot be done or it is impossible for you to achieve, listen to your heart and not what others tell you. Do not listen to naysayers.
My Super Power is everytime anyone disrespects me, tries to undermined me or do other atrocities I will write about them. Anyone throwing obstactles in my way, making my life difficult or miserable, I will document. Everytime anyone tries to do anything to hurt me I will hit the keyboard. The same goes if I see anyone being treated unfairly, the perpetrator will feel my Super Power.
Whats your super power? Mine is exercising my journalist skills!
If you want to talk to just drop me a line, I am happy to chat to you online or send emails. Although I do not do face to face meetings I am happy to help anyone who is feeling distressed. Just because I have difficulty interacting physically does not mean I have a problem interacting virtually. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved. If you have a network of people you can rely on then that is fine, but if you don’t there are many organisation out there that can help and I also can lend an ear or shoulder to cry on or send virtual hugs.
I have this methology “if life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. I am not the type of person to whinge and moan, I just make the most of what I have and try to get on with it.
I always keep myself busy and set goals. However my physical and mental disabilities are obstacles that daily I have to get round.
My OCD is by far one of my prominent disabilities and have designed a quarantined cocoon area where only I have access to. This area allows me to be free of any anxieties that I would have in the normal environment. I have adopted this practice to save cleaning my whole home from top to bottom day in and day out. Believe me I used to clean from top to bottom every single day until I realised I was wasting valuable time doing something else.
Keeping myself busy does help to block out intrusive thoughts to a certain degree. I am the worlds worse for critising myself. I try to brain train to reason with myself that what I do is ridiculous and out of character to normal people, but it all is related to stress, anxiety and depression. Depending how stress I am under will depend how well my day will be. If I am super stressed, I find that I cannot concentrate and even do minuscule tasks.
My OCD is germ contamination related and I am even more conscious of my surrounding and the things that I touch. I dislike people visting me and visa versa. I prefer not to go out, hence I am not going out any time soon pandemic regulations or not.
Cerebellar Atrophy (I lose my balance or grip and muddle my words up especially when I write, I also have mental blocks).
OCD (I am aware of germ cross contimination and and am careful what I touch).
Social Disconnection (I prefer my own company and not go out and socialise, although we can’t anyway but you get my drift).
PTSD (I have flashbacks of the physical and mental trauma I endured in the past and certain things trigger my depression).
Clinical Depression (This is related to past physical and mental trauma I endured, in which there are days where I go to a dark place).
Rheumatoid Arthritis (I cannot bend my knee, again from past physical trauma/abuse).
Dysphagia (I sometimes choke of food, I get a painful feeling followed by trouble swallowing and breathing and only when the food is dislodged does the feeling subside, gross I know but what can I do? I have been told I could have surgery but there is no gauarantee that it would work. I am not going to go under the knife for anything, I can tell you that for sure).
Epidural Analgesia (Chronic Back Pain, even bending down to feed the cat makes my back spasm, the same goes if I am standing for excessive length of time I have shooting pains from the small of my back to the nape of my neck. Simple taskes like taking out the rubbish or bringing in the grocery shopping has brought tears to my eyes in the past).
So yes I have good days and bad days but I do not dwell on my ailments and try to live the best way I can. I adapt to around my disabilities. Fortuantely for me I offer digital services so I can do 100% of my work online and do not have to venture out.
Stress and worry are contributing factorsto my OCD, PTSD, Depression and Social Disconnection.
Getting headaches (I have regular headaches)
Having stomach cramps (I have a bad stomach most days, but that can be from drinking energy drinks to keep me awake).
Not being able to sleep (I find my medication helps me sleep but it takes a few hours for me to wind down, hence I watch a film or play a game, I also read books from time to time).
Feeling pains in your chest (I do not get them often but when I do it is scary as I have also experienced jaw ache and shooting pain down my left arm in the past). I have had an ecg scan done and the doctor said there was nothing wrong, yet the same doctor also prescribed antacid ‘Gaviscon’ to my daughter even though she was later diagnosed with MS after I admitted her into A&E.
Having constant worring (If I do not keep myself busy I do worry hence I try to keep my mind occupied all the time). Worrying only makes your health deteriorate and although life struggles can get in the way of your happiness, one needs to find a way to tackle the problem we are faced with, rather than sweep them under the carpet. Confronting your inner demons makes you stronger. Sometimes simply writing down your problems is the first step to dealing with whatever is on your mind. Talking to a friend or family member also helps but for me expessing my emotions in the form of a blog is theraputic in itself.
Having panic attacks (I only get these if I have to meet negative people). People that judge or critise, you know the people I am talking about or if I have a deadline in work or something that I have seen or heard that has triggered the onset of sheer panic. However for most part I am organised and know to how to avoid trigger warnings, so panic attacks are subdued.
Feeling shortness of breath, (I only get this if I cannot swallow due to my Dysphagia or at times when I have in the past been in distress, due to the trauma and abuse I endured).
Having mood swings with friends or family (I avoid socialising so no one knows my moods and no one can be on the tail end if I do have a bad day).
Finding it hard to feel happy (Continuously reassuring myself and staying positive that what I am doing will eventually change my life for the better, is enough to motivate me to get up and tackle every day tasks).
Although I was going to do a daily/weekly journal of my health, I am not able to do so at present as I have many projects I am working on and simply do not have the time, but I always try to strive to stay focused and optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day.
Obviously adopting a healthy lifestyle can help with coping with life struggles, such as:
Learning New Things
Avoiding Negative People
Learning to Trust People
Talking to Family and Friends About Your Troubles
Discussing your Problems with Professionals, Health, Finance, Relationships etc
I am a disabled entrepreneur and I have created a business round my disabilities. The way I saw it when I first started out, I would not fit in or be accepted in a normal working enviroment and I am the most happiest I have ever been for a long time doing what I do and it works for me. So the way I see it is my disabilities are a blessing in disguise, as I would not be where I am today without them.
I avoid negative judgemental people especially if they have power trips (Trolls especially that have nothing better to do than try an bring a person down, these get immediately blocked).
As for me I will help anyone that genuinely needs my help. I am very good at analysing people and situations and I am very astute.
Stay safe, stay focused and stay motivated, nothing stays the same forever unless you let it…
Starting a business can be stressful, no one said it would be easy. One has to plan ahead and manage finances so that you can live. Nothing happens overnight, there has to be a lot of planning to lift your business to the next level and none if it comes without stress.
Entrepreneurship is often looked up to as a status symbol that the individual has found the courage to be independant and in control of his/her own careers. Entrepreneurs are also admired for their creativity and initiative. Yet their personal struggles are often not acknowledged because people think being an entrepreneur you are an automatic success which sometimes can be further from the truth. Entrepreneurship comes with challenges in which can add unnecessary stress.
Entrepreneurs tend to be seen as high achievers, driven and motivated. However having these fine qualities does come with some disadvantages. Most entrepreneurs are perfectionists and tend to put aside their personal needs over the needs of their business sometimes foregoing personal family outings or general socialising events in the name of making their business a success. Many marriages have fallen apart because of the entrepreneurs protecting their business with the business coming first place and the marriage coming last.
Because being an entrepreneur nothing is guaranteed there is a lot of scope for failure and uncertainties especially if they are not well established and cannot guarantee a steady income. These uncertainties increase proneness to anxiety disorders, depression, substance use/abuse, and eating disorders.
How many entrepreneurs you know are heavy drinkers?
Reasons entrepreneurs get depressed include:
1). History of Anxiety and Depression
2). Lack of Motivation and Inspiration
2). Feeling Unsuccessful and Fear of Failure
3). Problems maintaining control of your business, perhalps lack of funds or problems with staff or late paying customers.
4). Large numbers of investor rejections
5). Stress and long working hours leading to burnout
6). Being sabotaged by partners
7). Problems with Staff or Recruitment
8). Struggles gaining and maintaining traction
9). Problems with Branding
10). Problems with Marketing
11). Financial Difficulties
12). Lack of Support from your martital partner
13) Feeling Lonely
14) Suffering From othe Mental Health Disorders
15). Lack of Sleep
Growing your business does not come without setbacks, such as securing leads, losing clients, customers disputes or not seeing eye to eye with your business partner(s). It could also be increased competition, staffing problems, whilst struggling to pay the wages and having enough money to pay yourself. Psychiatrist and former entrepreneur Michael A. Freeman, who researches mental health and entrepreneurship says that being an entrepreneur can be very traumatic and can lead to mental health issues.
If you already have mental health problems this can increase your anxieties. No one wants to admit to their vulnerabilities, but the more support there is the more we can be open about our struggles. It is no good bottling it all up inside. Business Men and Women have practiced what is called by social psychiatrists ‘impression management’, also known as “fake it till you make it.” We should never pretend to be something we are not, but at the same time you do not want the whole world knowing your problems as this can be damaging to your business. However the more transparent you are and even being an advocate for mental health, people will quickly start to trust you.
There are also organisations that can allow you to stay anomymous. if you are struggling to find somone to talk to you can reach out here to us or contact the following organisations:
Some people want to show the world instantaneously how successful they are before actually being successful so they max out their loans and cards to the hilt and drive flashy cars and wear high end designer clothes just to look the part and fake their image.
Being not true to yourself will eventually catch up with you. Do not pretend to be someone your not, people will soon see when cracks start to appear.
Honesty is the Best Policy.
If you are having finacial difficulties and for example you can not pay bonuses tell your staff and give them a reason why, never leave things to the last minute. If you tell your staff in advance they are more likely to be more understanding. Always be transparent.
You do not have to air your dirty laundry in public but can adapt a monthly or weekly mental health event where people can network and get support. Simply be listening to other peoples problems and relating to similarities can be make people think they are not alone with their struggles.
We need to find a way where we can express our problems without it having a detrimental effect on our business or our health.
Mental Health is still classed as taboo and people find it hard to talk about what they are going through.
No one should feel they are all alone and there is no one that could possibly undersatnd their struggles as did the successful entrepreneurs that came to their demise even though they seemed to be in control, one being ‘Ilya Zhitomirskiy’ founder of Diaspora, a social networking site and the other ‘Jody Sherman’ founder of the e-commerce site Ecomo. The list continues with Fashion Designers ‘Alexander McQueen’, ‘Kate Spade’ and A-List Actors such as ‘Robin Williams’ to name just a few.
Mental Health statistics show according to research done by theNational Institute of Mental Health that an astonishing 49% of entrepreneurs are directly effected and 32 % are indirectly affected by mental health problems compared to just 48% of non entrepreneurs. The statistics are far greater because the pressure of success.
The study showed that 23% of entrepreneurs are affected because some family members may be experiencing mental health issues.
The biggest challenges entrepreneurs have, especially with their mental health is asking for help. Not only so but working all the hours God sends can be very lonely. It is hard to juggle a home life with a entrepreneurial life, often making sacrifices that can cause our personal relationships to crumble.
Furthermore when you see companies securing multi million dollar deals and you are bearly getting by, the feeling can sometimes be deflating. But one has to think that even these companies started out most probaby somewhere just like you and with staying focused and perserverance they have managed to climb the ladder. However even companies that are a success struggle with being No1 and continue to push themselves to perfectionism.
It is all about being honest and addressing the problems you have. By being in denial and sweeping your problems under the carpet won’t make your problems go away. If you are a successful business the pressure to maintain the status can be even far greater than starting out. There are organisation you can reach out to for help.
You do not have to announce to the world you have mental health issues but there is always someone you can talk to. If it is problem solving there is tonnes of information on the internet and companies that do business consulting. You could even have monthly employee mental health days where you get someone to talk about mental health in general. Not only will it be therapy for you it will also help your staff dealing with problems themselves. Your employees will see you are a compassionate leader which will gain you a lot of respect.
Retraining Your Brain.
Outsmarting your way of thinking can set you on the road ot recovery.
Practice the following Steps:
Setup an action plan. Do your research and but your actions into motion. Set up a business plan, speak with people in your industry, speak to your business bank manager who can put you in touch with people. Consider Business Consultants and do networking.
Setup a Support Network. Find people that will support you from friends, family, coaches and mentors. There are business social media platforms that you can exapnd your network and engage with like minded people.
Allocate some quality time (me time). Take time off to reflect and relax so that when you return you are set to go. Even having a day off or even an afternoon off is better than nothing at all. In your free time do nothingat all or doing sometime you love.
Have a dream board. Stick down all the goals you want to acheive and give yourself a deadline. Every day for five minutes before you start work look at your dream board and focus on why you are about to start the day and that you are one day closer to acheiving your dream. You could have a board you stick on your office wall or have one on your desktop home screen or in your diary (I keep one in my diary and it goes evrywhere with me).
Keep a journal. Write down all your dreams and aspirations and take a daily note of your highs and your lows. (For me blogging is my therapy).
Maintain a Good Diet. We are what we eat. Eating unhealthily will cause damage to our bodies. Treat your body like your office. You don’t store junk in your office so do not fill your body with junk food. Take vitamin supplements and trat your body like a temple.
Maintain a Level of Excercise. Even if you find it difficult leaving your home, do some workouts at home. There are pleanty of YouTube videos you can adapt your exercise routine to.
Reward Yourself. At the end of the week or month once you reach your daily or weekly goals give yourself a pat on the back and trat yourself. You don’t need to go overboard but give yourself something that will motivate you to complete another task, as in the suggestions below if your a woman.
Help Others. By helping others you are also helping yourself. If you focus only on yourself you will fall into a spiral of loneliness and depression but if you help others and put your worries aside you ar not longer making yourself the centre spot. Remember there is always someone out there you can help.
Consider Getting Medical Advice. The first port of call is your GP. If your are constantly worrying and are feeling anxious and depressed visit your GP who can prescribe you some antidepressants and something to help you sleep.
“There is a solution to every problem and you are never alone as there is always someone that you can talk to. If you can not face speaking to someone directly over the phone you can send an email or contact form”.
Weak Bladder Problems,Things We Don’t talk About Because Its Too Embarrassing.
Control Your Bladder Before It Controls You.
As we get older things happen to our bodies that sometimes are very embarrassing to talk about, especially to our friends and our families. It is not always about ones age that can cause us to have weak bladders it could be a number of things and half the female population will experience urinary incontinence at some point in their lives. Stastistics have shown that women are 5 times more likelier to develop bladder problems than men and 1 if 5 women will seek help and go to their GP’s. The age range is about 6% of women between 15 to 44 experience incontinence issues whilst the statistics show 10% of men over 65 to have urinary incontinence to some degree. Studies have shown that in the UK “major faecal incontinence” affects 1.4% of the general population over 40 years old.
However experiencing public humiliation can be avoided if you train your bladder. Have you been in a situation you have coughed or laughed and trickled (now you know where the term comes from “I nearly peed myself laughing” comes from).
Or have had to make a mad dash to the toilet rugby tackling people along the way. What ever the scenario, there are things that you can do to make your life a little less embarrassing without leaving tell tale wet patches around.
We can mock all we want but it is no laughing matter especially when it happens to the best of us. We are human after all.
The causes of embarrasiing problems include weak bladder which I will focus on today but there are other symptoms to do with mental health that people have a hard time talking about, which I will address in another post.
Weak bladder can be caused by the following:
Drinking too much alcohol or caffeine (tea/coffee) or energy drinks. (I am guilty of this).
Not drinking enough fluids such as water – this can cause strong, concentrated urine to collect in your bladder, which can irritate the bladder and cause symptoms of overactivity and cystisis.
If you are not going regularly for a No2 and you find your are constipated.
Infections and underling conditions affecting the lower urinary tract (urethra and bladder) – such as urinary tract infections (UTIs) or tumours in the bladder.
Neurological conditions such as Multiple Sclerosis or Parkinsons Disease.
Natural Childbith where your pelvic floor may be weak.
Certain medicines such as angiotensin converting enzyme (ACE) inhibitors, diuretic, antidepressants, hormone replacement therapy (HRT), sedatives. (My medications can also be a factor of me having a weak bladder)
Increased pressure on your tummy – for example, being heavily pregnant or over weight. (I am definitely overweight as working from home limits how much excersise I do which at the moment is virtually non existent, plus the fact I am social distancing myself from everyone because of my OCD beliefs and cross contamination).
Damage to the bladder or nearby area during surgery – such as the removal of the womb (hysterectomy), or removal of the prostate gland.
Connective tissue disorders such as Ehlers-Danlos syndrome.
Having a poor diet eating, spicy or acidic foods.
The best way to combat incontinence is to change our lifestyles and take better care of our bodies, starting with perlvic floor exercises and changing our diets. But that means discipline as nothing happens overnight.
We can also do some jogging either out and about or on a tread mill and aerobics, with strengthening exercise, such as pilates. There are plenty YouTube Videos you can find and adapt. Also avoid lifting heavy things as this will effect your pelvic floor and add further uneccessary strain.
There are non surgical aids one can use to counteract a weak bladder from incontinece pads to supplements.
Absorbent products, such as pants, pads or pany liners can save you from some embarrassing moments when you simply cannot control your bladder long enough to get to the bathroom or handheld urinals, which are not ideal especially if you are caught out and about, like where can you discretly have a pee, you can’t?, unless you are maybe in you car or out on some country road where you could always take advantage of the bushes.
My brother said he once was caught short on the motorway in non moving traffic and was forced to pee in a coke bottle. Not so easy for women though. My mother had to make service pit stops at every junction when she used to go on longer journeys. For me my bladder gives me no warning at all and I have to do my wriggle dance long enough to run to the toilet which happens to be like clockwork every two hours hence I never get a full eight hours beauty sleep. Its not as if I can time it one minute im ok and the next minute I am desperate.
I have recommended some incontinence supplements and aids below:
Regardless of your age you should never be too embarrassed to say that you have a bladder problem and if you cannot manage it yourself you may need to get some medical advice and see what options are available for you.
Depression is a feeling we have that sets our emotions and our moods to become very low. This feeling can last for weeks or many months.
Depression is not about feeling sad for a few days it is about the prolonged feeling we cannot shake. Depression is not about being weak. It is a real illness. Depression is feeling persistently sad for weeks or months, rather than just a few days.
Symptoms of depression include the feeling of unhappiness or feeling hopelessness. Our emotions at low levels cause us to have low self-esteem, lose confidence, and general interest in everyday life. At this level, we no longer care about ourselves and what is going on around us. We no longer can focus properly and need to be steered in the right direction.
What is clinical depression.
Clinical depression is the more severe form of depression, also known as major depression or major depressive disorder. It isn’t the same as depression caused by a loss of a loved one or a medical condition. It is a deep state of very low self-esteem, where you may have thoughts of suicide. This type of depression makes a person feel there is no way out and they simply want to stop themselves from feeling so miserable.
Clinical Depression is a like being in a very deep dark tunnel with no light at the end of it.
What would have made us happy once is no longer enjoyable? Clinical Depression can cause people to go into isolation away from other people. Facing people can be difficult and the avoidance of admitting there is something wrong is lessened if a person with depression goes into solitary confinement.
People with depression are less likely to answer their phones or socialize. However, this can lead to loneliness which can turn into a vicious circle that sometimes a person cannot get out of.
Some people with depression turn to drink alcohol excessively or using recreational drugs. Some become dependant on prescription drugs that they may abuse.
Depression can be set off by stressful or traumatic events at home or at work or even at School, College, or University. Stress could be caused by being put under pressure and the fear of failing or losing or having lost something or someone.
Self-employed people who have jobs that require fast results may under pressure have an overwhelming feeling of fear, sadness, and hopelessness. Entrepreneurs have to work even harder to put food on the table unlike a job with a regular wage. An entrepreneur may have the added pressure of paying for all his business overheads, staffs wages, and getting more business in before paying him/herself. Some people simply cannot cope and crack under the strain.
Depression could also be caused by the emotion of feeling sad from problems in your personal life with a partner or it could be because of your personality or family history, it could even be from giving birth (Post Natal Depression). Depression could be simply accepted into society or having to be under a tremendous amount of strain to pass a test or find your next job. It could be that you have been made redundant and feel your life is crumbling right in front of you. The pressure of paying your bills and your mortgage can sometimes drive a person to breaking point.
There are many reasons why people become depressed it could be financial problems and the fear of your life spiraling out of control. The feeling that perhaps you have no one to turn to.
I have listed useful links below including Samaritans.
Whatever the cause, believe it or not, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and there is always someone you can talk to.
It’s amazing how many people are suffering from depression but simply do not know where to turn to or that there are others experiencing exactly the same emotionsas you.
Talking to someone always helps and there are many support groups around to help you. Samaritans will talk to you confidentially any time of the day or night 7 days a week. They won’t ask you personal questions or even your name. You can even block your telephone number if it makes you feel better. They will give you ideas and options of how you can get out of the dark spell you under. Remember there is a problem with every solution, you just need to know where to look.
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