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Category: Knowing Your Boundaries

Trusting & Standing & To People. Knowing your Boundaries.

Respecting Boundaries During Time Off Work

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Navigating Employee and Employer Etiquette: Respecting Boundaries During Time Off

In the modern workplace, maintaining professional etiquette is crucial for fostering a healthy and productive environment. One important aspect of this etiquette is understanding the boundaries between work and personal time, especially concerning contacting employees when they are on holiday or on their days off.

The Importance of Boundaries

Work-Life Balance: Maintaining a healthy work-life balance is essential for both mental and physical health. Employees who can disconnect from work during their time off are generally more refreshed and productive when they return.

Respecting Personal Time: Respecting an employee’s personal time is a sign of respect and consideration. It shows that the employer values the employee’s need for rest and rejuvenation, which is crucial for long-term job satisfaction and performance.

Employer Etiquette: Contacting Employees During Time Off

Emergencies Only: Employers should generally refrain from contacting employees during their holidays or days off unless it is an emergency. What constitutes an emergency should be clearly defined within the company policies. For example, situations that threaten the safety of the workplace or require immediate attention to prevent significant financial loss could be considered emergencies.

Plan Ahead: To minimize the need for contacting employees during their time off, employers should plan ahead. This includes ensuring that all necessary information and resources are available to those who are working and delegating responsibilities appropriately before an employee goes on leave.

Respecting Designated Contact Times: If it is absolutely necessary to contact an employee, it is important to respect designated contact times agreed upon in advance. This approach shows respect for the employee’s time and avoids unnecessary disruptions.

Clear Communication Policies: Having clear policies regarding communication during time off can help manage expectations. These policies should be part of the employee handbook and discussed during onboarding.

Employee Etiquette: Being Contacted During Time Off

Setting Boundaries: Employees should feel empowered to set and communicate their boundaries regarding work-related contacts during their personal time. This might include specifying times when they are available in case of emergencies and times when they should not be contacted at all.

Out-of-Office Notifications: When going on holiday or taking days off, employees should set up out-of-office notifications on their email and other communication platforms. This helps manage expectations and directs colleagues to alternative contacts.

Emergency Contacts: Employees can provide an emergency contact method if they are comfortable doing so. This should be used strictly for urgent matters that cannot wait until they return.

The Reciprocal Nature of Etiquette

Two-Way Street: Just as employers should respect employees’ time off, employees should also respect the boundaries of their employers and colleagues. This means avoiding contacting managers or coworkers during their time off unless it is an absolute emergency.

Professionalism and Courtesy: Both parties should approach any necessary contact with professionalism and courtesy. Acknowledge the intrusion and keep communications brief and to the point.

When Is It Wrong to Contact Someone Not at Work?

Non-Urgent Matters: Contacting employees or employers for non-urgent matters during their personal time is generally considered inappropriate. Such actions can contribute to burnout, depression, and resentment, ultimately affecting job performance and morale.

Ignoring Policies: Disregarding established communication policies is also inappropriate. If a company has specific guidelines for contacting employees during their time off, these should be followed meticulously.

Conclusion

Respecting the boundaries between work time and personal time is essential for fostering a healthy and productive work environment. Employers should minimize contact with employees during their holidays and days off, reserving communication for true emergencies and respecting agreed-upon contact times. Similarly, employees should communicate their availability clearly and respect their colleagues’ time off. By adhering to these guidelines, both employees and employers can maintain a respectful and balanced professional relationship.

The same principle of respecting boundaries applies to employees contacting their employers on their days off. Just as employers should avoid reaching out to employees during their personal time, employees should also refrain from contacting their employers outside of work hours unless it is an urgent matter. This mutual respect for personal time helps maintain a healthy work-life balance, reduces stress, and promotes a more positive and productive workplace culture. By adhering to these boundaries, employees demonstrate professionalism and respect for their employers’ personal time, fostering a reciprocal relationship built on consideration and mutual respect.


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Why Some Disabled Individuals Are Perceived as Arrogant



The Misunderstood Reality: Why Some Disabled Individuals Are Perceived as Arrogant

Individuals with disabilities often face a myriad of challenges, both tangible and intangible, one such intangible challenge is the perception that some disabled people are arrogant. This perception can be damaging, leading to misunderstandings, social isolation, and barriers to inclusion. However, it is crucial to delve deeper into the root causes of this perception and understand the complex dynamics at play.

First and foremost, it’s essential to recognize that disability does not equate to a single, homogeneous experience. Disabilities encompass a broad spectrum of conditions, each with its unique challenges and coping mechanisms. Within this diversity, some individuals may adopt behaviors or attitudes that are mistakenly interpreted as arrogance.

One reason behind the perception of arrogance among some disabled individuals lies in societal attitudes and stereotypes. Historically, people with disabilities have been marginalized and underestimated, often relegated to roles of dependence and pity. In response to this marginalization, some individuals may develop a defensive demeanor or assertiveness as a means of asserting their autonomy and challenging societal stereotypes.

Moreover, navigating a world designed primarily for able-bodied individuals can be immensely frustrating and exhausting. Simple tasks that others take for granted may require meticulous planning, assistance, or adaptive equipment for someone with a disability. This constant need for adaptation and accommodation can lead to feelings of frustration and impatience, which may manifest as perceived arrogance in interactions with others.

Furthermore, the experience of living with a disability can shape one’s self-perception and interpersonal skills. Many disabled individuals face a lifetime of discrimination, ableism, and microaggressions, which can erode self-esteem and confidence. In response, some individuals may develop a defensive posture or a guarded demeanor as a means of self-protection. This self-defense mechanism can inadvertently be interpreted as arrogance by those unfamiliar with the nuances of living with a disability.

Additionally, it’s essential to recognize the impact of internalized ableism on individuals with disabilities. Internalized ableism refers to the process by which people with disabilities internalize societal prejudices and stereotypes, leading to negative self-perception and internalized shame. As a result, some individuals may overcompensate for perceived shortcomings by adopting behaviors that come across as overly confident or arrogant.

However, it is crucial to emphasize that the perception of arrogance among some disabled individuals is not inherent to disability itself but rather a complex interplay of societal attitudes, personal experiences, and coping mechanisms. Addressing this perception requires a shift in societal attitudes towards disability, fostering greater empathy, understanding, and inclusivity.

One way to combat this perception is through education and awareness-raising initiatives that challenge stereotypes and promote a more nuanced understanding of disability. By highlighting the diverse experiences and perspectives within the disabled community, we can break down stereotypes and foster empathy and understanding.

Furthermore, fostering inclusive environments that prioritize accessibility and accommodation is crucial. When disabled individuals feel valued, respected, and included, they are less likely to adopt defensive behaviors that may be misinterpreted as arrogance.

Understanding Arrogance: Exploring the Depths of an Elusive Trait

Arrogance, a trait often condemned yet not always fully understood, permeates human interactions in various spheres of life. Defined as an attitude of superiority, disdain, or self-importance towards others, arrogance is a complex and multifaceted phenomenon that can manifest in subtle or overt ways. To truly grasp its essence, one must delve into its intricacies, exploring its origins, manifestations, and consequences.

At its core, arrogance stems from an inflated sense of self-worth or entitlement. Those who exhibit arrogance often perceive themselves as superior to others, whether intellectually, socially, or in some other aspect. This sense of superiority may be grounded in genuine accomplishments or talents, but it can also be fueled by insecurity, fear, or a need for validation.

One of the defining characteristics of arrogance is the tendency to belittle or dismiss others. Arrogant individuals may exhibit condescending behavior, speak disparagingly about others, or disregard opposing viewpoints. This behavior serves to reinforce their sense of superiority while diminishing the value of others in their eyes.

Moreover, arrogance often manifests in a lack of humility or willingness to acknowledge one’s own limitations or mistakes. Arrogant individuals may resist criticism, deflect blame onto others, or refuse to admit when they are wrong. This reluctance to accept feedback or learn from experience can hinder personal growth and strain relationships.

List Of Reasons Why Someone Maybe Arrogant

  1. Insecurity: Arrogance can sometimes stem from deep-seated feelings of insecurity. Individuals may overcompensate for their insecurities by projecting an air of superiority.
  2. Need for Validation: Some people seek validation and approval from others, and they may adopt arrogant behavior as a means of gaining recognition or attention.
  3. Upbringing: A person’s upbringing and environment can influence their behavior. Those raised in environments that prioritize competitiveness, success, or elitism may develop arrogant tendencies as a result.
  4. Past Experiences: Negative past experiences, such as being bullied or marginalized, can contribute to the development of defensive mechanisms, including arrogance, as a means of self-protection.
  5. Social Status or Power: Individuals in positions of authority or influence may exhibit arrogance due to their perceived superiority or entitlement stemming from their status or power.
  6. Intellectual or Academic Achievements: Individuals with high levels of intellect or academic achievement may develop arrogance as a result of feeling intellectually superior to others.
  7. Cultural or Societal Norms: Cultural or societal norms that place value on traits such as confidence, assertiveness, or dominance may contribute to the prevalence of arrogance in certain contexts.
  8. Lack of Self-awareness: Some people may lack self-awareness or insight into their own behavior, leading them to exhibit arrogant tendencies without realizing the impact of their actions on others.
  9. Fear of Failure or Rejection: Fear of failure or rejection can drive individuals to adopt arrogant behavior as a defense mechanism to avoid vulnerability or perceived weakness.
  10. Negative Reinforcement: In some cases, arrogant behavior may be reinforced by positive feedback or rewards from others, further perpetuating the cycle of arrogance.
  11. Cognitive Biases: Cognitive biases such as the superiority bias, where individuals overestimate their own abilities relative to others, can contribute to the development of arrogance.
  12. Lack of Empathy: A lack of empathy or consideration for others’ perspectives and feelings can lead individuals to exhibit arrogant behavior without regard for its impact on those around them.
  13. Personality Traits: Certain personality traits, such as narcissism or entitlement, are closely associated with arrogance and may predispose individuals to exhibit arrogant behavior.
  14. Coping Mechanism: Arrogance can sometimes serve as a coping mechanism for dealing with feelings of inadequacy, rejection, or powerlessness.
  15. Unconscious Bias: Unconscious biases based on factors such as race, gender, or socioeconomic status can influence perceptions of superiority and contribute to the manifestation of arrogance.

It’s important to note that arrogance is not solely a trait of the wealthy, powerful, or successful. While individuals in positions of authority or influence may be more prone to arrogance due to their status, arrogance can be found across all walks of life. It can manifest in the form of intellectual snobbery, social elitism, or even within interpersonal relationships.

Furthermore, arrogance is not always overtly displayed; it can also be subtle and insidious. Passive-aggressive behavior, subtle put-downs, or a patronizing tone can all be indicative of underlying arrogance. In some cases, individuals may mask their arrogance behind a facade of charm or confidence, making it all the more difficult to detect.

The consequences of arrogance can be far-reaching, both for the individual and those around them. In personal relationships, arrogance can erode trust, breed resentment, and create barriers to genuine connection. In professional settings, it can hinder collaboration, stifle innovation, and undermine teamwork. Moreover, arrogance can contribute to a toxic organizational culture characterized by competition, distrust, and hostility.

Despite its negative connotations, arrogance is not an immutable trait. Like any aspect of personality, it can be influenced by self-awareness, introspection, and personal growth. Cultivating empathy, and a willingness to learn can help counteract the tendencies towards arrogance and foster healthier relationships and interactions.

Conclusion

Arrogance is a complex and multifaceted trait characterized by a sense of superiority, disdain towards others. While it can manifest in various forms and contexts, its underlying dynamics remain consistent. By understanding the origins, manifestations, and consequences of arrogance, we can strive to cultivate a culture of humility, empathy, and mutual respect in our interactions with others. The perception of arrogance among some disabled individuals is a complex issue rooted in societal attitudes, personal experiences, and coping mechanisms. Rather than rushing to judgment, it is essential to approach interactions with empathy, understanding, and an open mind. By challenging stereotypes, fostering inclusivity, and promoting awareness, we can work towards a more inclusive society where all individuals, regardless of disability, are valued and respected.

If someone exhibits arrogance, it’s important to approach the situation with empathy and understanding, recognizing that arrogance often stems from deep-seated insecurities or other underlying factors. However, while forgiveness is a noble pursuit, it’s equally crucial to set boundaries and not enable or reinforce arrogant behavior through dialogue or acquiescence. Instead, it’s essential to address the behavior directly and assertively, stopping them in their tracks when necessary. Moreover, if you find yourself hurt by someone’s arrogant remarks, it’s perfectly valid to prioritize your mental health and well-being by disengaging from interactions with them. Protecting yourself from further harm is paramount, and sometimes, stepping away from toxic dynamics is the healthiest choice you can make.


#arrogance #negativity #toxicrelationships #selfcare #mentalhealth #dialogue #boundaries #empathy #fear #failure #rejection #selfawareness #insecurity #validation #bitterness #superioritycomplex


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Ableism: Understanding Discrimination

Disability Discrimination

Breaking Down Ableism: Understanding and Addressing Discrimination

Ableism is a form of discrimination or prejudice against individuals with disabilities, whether visible or invisible, based on the belief that they are inferior to non-disabled people. This discriminatory attitude manifests in various aspects of life, including employment, education, healthcare, and social interactions. Understanding and addressing ableism is crucial for promoting inclusivity and equality for all individuals regardless of their abilities.

Understanding Ableism

Ableism operates on the assumption that people with disabilities are less capable, competent, or valuable than those without disabilities. This belief system leads to discriminatory behaviors and practices that marginalize individuals with disabilities, hindering their full participation in society. It can take many forms, ranging from outright exclusion to subtle microaggressions.

One common example of ableism is the inaccessible physical environment. Buildings without ramps or elevators, lack of designated parking for people with disabilities, or public transportation systems without accommodations for mobility aids can prevent individuals with physical disabilities from accessing essential services and participating fully in their communities.

Another example of ableism is the underrepresentation of people with disabilities in the media, literature, and other forms of cultural representation. When people with disabilities are portrayed, they are often depicted as objects of pity or inspiration rather than as fully realized individuals with agency and diverse experiences. This perpetuates harmful stereotypes and reinforces the idea that disability is something to be overcome rather than accepted as a natural part of human diversity.

OCD as an Example of Ableism

Consider a scenario where an individual with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is working as a caregiver for a relative. This individual may face discrimination due to misconceptions about OCD and its impact on their ability to provide care. This may also relate to caregivers with other mental health issues not just OCD.

The caregiver’s OCD symptoms may include intrusive thoughts related to cleanliness and hygiene, as well as compulsive behaviors such as excessive handwashing or checking. These symptoms can lead others to question the caregiver’s ability to perform their duties effectively, particularly in a role that requires close physical contact and assistance with personal care tasks.

As a result, the caregiver may encounter skepticism or resistance who doubt their capacity to provide adequate care due to their OCD. They may face unwarranted scrutiny or criticism, with others questioning whether their condition makes them unfit for caregiving responsibilities.

This discrimination can have significant consequences, not only for the caregiver’s sense of self-worth and confidence but also for the well-being of the person they are caring for. If the caregiver’s abilities are unfairly doubted or undermined, it may lead to increased stress and anxiety, further exacerbating their OCD symptoms and potentially compromising the quality of care they are able to provide.

Furthermore, the caregiver may be denied opportunities for support or accommodations that could help them manage their condition while fulfilling their caregiving duties. For example, they may encounter resistance when requesting flexibility in their work schedule to attend therapy sessions or seeking assistance with certain tasks to alleviate the impact of their OCD symptoms.

In this way, discrimination against individuals with OCD and other mental health disorders, who are also caregivers can perpetuate harmful stereotypes and misconceptions about the condition, further marginalizing those who are already facing significant challenges in balancing their caregiving responsibilities with their mental health needs. It underscores the importance of raising awareness about OCD and promoting understanding and empathy towards individuals living with this condition, as well as advocating for policies and practices that support their right to equal treatment and opportunities in all aspects of life.

Addressing Ableism

To combat ableism, it is essential to raise awareness about the experiences of people with disabilities and challenge societal attitudes and practices that perpetuate discrimination. Education plays a crucial role in dispelling myths and misconceptions about disabilities, fostering empathy, and promoting inclusion.

Creating accessible environments is another important step in addressing ableism. This includes not only physical accommodations but also ensuring that information and communication are accessible to individuals with diverse needs, such as providing alternative formats for written materials or using inclusive language.

Advocating for policies and legislation that protect the rights of people with disabilities is also vital. This includes enforcing anti-discrimination laws, promoting equal employment opportunities, and ensuring access to healthcare and social services.

Additionally, amplifying the voices of individuals with disabilities and centering their experiences in discussions about ableism is crucial for promoting meaningful change. By listening to and valuing the perspectives of people with disabilities, we can work towards building a more inclusive and equitable society for all.

Conclusion

Ableism is a pervasive form of discrimination that negatively impacts the lives of individuals with disabilities. By recognizing and addressing ableism in all its forms, we can strive towards a more just and inclusive world where everyone has the opportunity to thrive regardless of their abilities.

Further Reading


#ableism #disabilitydiscrimination #intrusivethoughts #mentalhealth #caregiving #carer #harmfulsterotypes #marginalizing #ocd #ocdcaregiver #knowyourrights #antidiscriminationcampaigns #advocationdiscrimination


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Forcing Chronically Ill and Disabled People into Work



In social welfare and employment, there exists a contentious issue that often flies under the radar: the coercion of chronically ill and disabled individuals into the workforce by governmental bodies such as the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP). While the intention may be to promote economic participation and reduce dependency on benefits, the reality is far grimmer. Such policies often neglect the unique challenges faced by these individuals, leading to dire consequences. With mounting evidence and statistics, it becomes increasingly clear that the DWP’s approach is not only flawed but also morally questionable, with devastating implications for those affected.

Statistics paint a stark picture of the situation. According to a report by the Disability Benefits Consortium, an estimated 130,000 people living with debilitating conditions were declared ‘fit for work’ between 2013 and 2018, following controversial Work Capability Assessments (WCAs) administered by the DWP. These assessments have been widely criticized for their inadequacy in accurately capturing the complexities of individuals’ health conditions, often resulting in erroneous decisions that force vulnerable individuals into unsuitable work environments.

Furthermore, research conducted by the Joseph Rowntree Foundation revealed that approximately 53% of households with a disabled member were living in poverty in 2019-2020, compared to 21% of households without a disabled member. This staggering disparity underscores the systemic barriers faced by disabled individuals in accessing employment opportunities that adequately accommodate their needs. The DWP’s insistence on pushing individuals into work without addressing these structural inequalities exacerbates their financial hardship and perpetuates cycles of poverty and marginalization.

Beyond economic repercussions, there are profound implications for individuals’ health and well-being. Studies have shown that the stress and anxiety induced by the prospect of forced employment can exacerbate existing health conditions, leading to deterioration in physical and mental health. A report by the Mental Health Foundation highlighted that the stigma and pressure associated with welfare-to-work programs can contribute to feelings of worthlessness and isolation among disabled individuals, further undermining their resilience and coping mechanisms.

In the most tragic cases, the consequences of these policies are fatal. The Work and Pensions Committee found that between 2013 and 2018, over 17,000 sick and disabled individuals died while waiting for a decision on their eligibility for benefits. While not all of these deaths can be directly attributed to the DWP’s actions, there is a disturbing correlation between the stress of undergoing assessments and the deterioration of individuals’ health.

Critics argue that the DWP’s approach reflects a fundamental disregard for the dignity and rights of disabled individuals. By prioritizing cost-cutting measures and arbitrary targets over the well-being of those it is meant to support, the DWP perpetuates systemic injustices that disproportionately affect the most vulnerable members of society.

In response to mounting pressure, there have been calls for reform within the DWP. Advocacy groups such as Disabled People Against Cuts (DPAC) have long campaigned for an overhaul of the welfare system to prioritize the needs and rights of disabled individuals. Proposed measures include conducting fair and thorough assessments that take into account the complex and fluctuating nature of disabilities, as well as providing adequate financial support to ensure individuals can meet their basic needs without fear of destitution.

Ultimately, the issue of forcing chronically ill and disabled people into work goes beyond mere statistics – it speaks to the moral compass of a society and its commitment to upholding the rights and dignity of all its citizens. Until substantive changes are made within the DWP and broader welfare policies, the blood of those who suffer as a result of these misguided measures will continue to stain the hands of those in power. It is incumbent upon us as a society to demand accountability and justice for the most marginalized among us.


#dwp #disabled #disabilities #chronicillness #backtowork #universalcredit #backtowork #humanrights #disabilitydiscrimination #equality #pip #medicalevidence


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25 Signs Your Family Do Not Care

25 Signs Your Family Do Not Care

Family is often considered the cornerstone of support and love in our lives. It’s where we turn to in times of need, seeking comfort, understanding, and care. However, not all families live up to this ideal. There are situations where individuals find themselves in families that do not provide the love and care they deserve.

However, in some cases, individuals find themselves facing a disheartening reality: their family may not seem to care about them. While this can be emotionally challenging, it’s essential to understand that there can be various reasons behind this apparent lack of care. In this article, we’ll explore some of the common factors that might explain why your family may not seem as invested in your well-being as you’d hope.

  1. Communication Breakdown: One of the primary reasons behind a family’s seeming lack of care is a breakdown in communication. Effective communication is the bedrock of any healthy relationship, and when it falters, misunderstandings and feelings of indifference can arise. Lack of open dialogue, or poor listening skills can lead to a sense that your family doesn’t care, even when they may genuinely want to be supportive. One of the most apparent signs is a lack of communication. If your family members rarely engage in meaningful conversations with you, it can be a sign that they don’t care about your thoughts and feelings. If they are more interested in another member of the family and completely disregard your health or your goals and never ask how you are doing this means they have no interest in you or your aspirations. When an individual flaunts their wealth with little regard for another family member who may not have the financial stability to do the same, it reflects a lack of empathy and sensitivity within the family dynamic. Such behavior can create feelings of inadequacy and resentment, deepening the divide between family members. It’s important for family members to support one another and prioritize empathy and understanding, rather than exacerbating disparities in financial status. True familial bonds are built on compassion, cooperation, and the recognition that everyone’s circumstances are unique, warranting a more considerate approach to wealth and privilege.
  2. Personal Struggles: Sometimes, family members have their own personal struggles that can preoccupy them. These could include financial problems, health issues, or emotional challenges. When they are dealing with their own difficulties, such as grief, depression, anxiety, and stress, they may not have the emotional capacity or energy to fully support you, leading to the perception that they don’t care.
  3. Different Priorities: Families are made up of diverse individuals with varying priorities and interests. What is important to you might not align with what is essential to other family members. For instance, if you prioritize a creative career while your family values financial stability, they may not seem to care about your pursuits. Understanding these differences in priorities can help bridge the gap in perceptions.
  4. Emotional Distance: Sometimes, emotional distance can develop between family members due to past conflicts, unresolved issues, or growing apart. This emotional gap can lead to a sense of indifference. Family dynamics can change over time, and it’s essential to work on mending relationships when needed. When your family members actively avoid spending time with you or isolate themselves from you, it can be a heartbreaking sign that they do not care about your presence in their lives.
  5. Unresolved Issues: Unresolved issues from the past can linger and create a barrier to a caring relationship within the family. These issues might include unresolved conflicts, resentments, or deep-seated disagreements. Addressing these issues through open and honest conversations can help rebuild the bonds of care within the family. If they threaten legal action, in your pursuits to make your life better, this should raise a red flag.
  6. Different Love Languages: People express love and care in different ways, often referred to as “love languages.” While some individuals show love through acts of service or words of affirmation, others may express it through quality time or physical touch. If your family members have different love languages than you, it can lead to a misperception that they don’t care, even if they do love you deeply in their own way.
  7. Cultural and Generational Differences: Cultural and generational differences can also play a significant role in how family members express care and concern. What may be considered a sign of affection in one culture might not hold the same meaning in another. Similarly, older generations might have different values and ways of showing love compared to younger ones.
  8. Ignoring your achievements: When your accomplishments go unnoticed or are met with indifference by your family, it can be disheartening. A caring family should celebrate your successes, big or small. When you are a small business that relies on spreading brand awareness and you have sent multiple invites to, like, and share your posts and pages and you get nothing, this means they do not value you or your business.
  9. Neglecting your needs: If your basic needs for food, shelter, or emotional support are consistently overlooked or dismissed, it’s a strong indicator that your family is not prioritizing your well-being.
  10. No emotional support: A lack of emotional support during difficult times can make you feel isolated and unloved. Your family should be there to provide comfort and understanding during challenging moments. If you have reached out to them and they promised they would respond but never have, this could mean they find it difficult and would rather avoid rather than help.
  11. Constant criticism: Families should offer constructive feedback and encouragement, not constant criticism and judgment. If your family is overly critical, it can erode your self-esteem.
  12. They are dismissive: If your family dismisses your concerns, opinions, or emotions without a second thought, it’s a clear sign that they are not valuing your perspective.
  13. Motivation and Empowerment: If your family does not show interest in what you do and does not support, motivate, or empower you, this means they simply do not want you to succeed. There could be a range of reasons why, but one of them could be jealousy.
  14. You’re the black sheep: Being constantly singled out or ostracized within your family is a strong sign of a lack of care. In a loving family, everyone should feel included and accepted.
  15. No interest in your life: If your family shows no genuine interest in your hobbies, passions, or life events, it can be hurtful and isolating.
  16. Inconsistent support: Your family should be consistently supportive, but if they only show care when it’s convenient for them or when they need something, it’s a red flag.
  17. Lack of boundaries: A family that doesn’t respect your personal boundaries may not be genuinely concerned about your comfort and well-being.
    Dealing with family members who expect you to drop everything without regard for your existing commitments or business responsibilities can be incredibly challenging. Such expectations can strain relationships and disrupt your life, often without consideration for the consequences of abandoning your obligations. It’s essential to communicate your boundaries and priorities clearly, balancing your love and support for your family with the need to maintain your own responsibilities and well-being.
  18. They gaslight you: Gaslighting involves manipulating someone into questioning their reality. If your family frequently employs this tactic, it can indicate a lack of empathy and care.
  19. Neglecting your health: Your family should be concerned about your physical and mental health but should keep a safe space and respect boundaries. Neglecting your well-being is a clear sign of indifference. However, this can also be a double-edged sword, where your family may criticize you for your non-existent exercise or eating habits. Whilst they may mean well they can come across as know-it-alls and be condescending.
  20. Lack of Understanding: When your family demonstrates a lack of understanding regarding your health disabilities, life choices, and business endeavors, it can be disheartening and isolating. It’s essential to remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and empathy and support from loved ones are crucial. Open and honest communication can help bridge the gap, fostering a more compassionate environment where your choices and challenges are acknowledged and respected. Your health, choices, and business aspirations deserve recognition and understanding, just like anyone else’s, as you navigate your own path in life.
  21. They exclude you: If your family consistently excludes you from important family events or gatherings, it can be a sign that they don’t want you to be a part of their lives. Exclusion from family events can stem from various reasons, often tied to interpersonal conflicts, misunderstandings, or differences in values and beliefs. It might be due to unresolved disputes, jealousy, or even a desire to protect family members from potential disagreements. Sometimes, it could also be a result of personal choices or lifestyles that family members may find difficult to accept. Effective communication and efforts to address underlying issues are crucial for healing and potentially reestablishing a sense of belonging within the family circle.
  22. No financial support: While financial support may not always be possible, a complete lack of assistance during times of need can be a sign that your family does not prioritize your welfare.
  23. Manipulation and control: A controlling or manipulative family dynamic can be emotionally damaging. Caring families respect individual autonomy.
  24. They belittle you: Constant belittling and undermining of your self-esteem is a sign of emotional abuse and a lack of care. They judge you about every little thing from your finances to how you live your life, or go behind your back to try and find out things about you, rather than asking you outright.
  25. Emotional or physical abuse: Any form of abuse within a family is a severe sign that your well-being is not a priority. Seek help and support if you are in this situation.

The Weight of Family’s Lack of Support: Impact on Mental Health

It can have a profound impact on an individual’s mental health if your family gives you a lack of support in your well-being and finances. The absence of familial backing can manifest in various ways, affecting emotional well-being, self-esteem, and overall mental stability.

  1. Emotional Strain and Isolation: When family members fail to provide the needed support, individuals can experience feelings of isolation and loneliness. The sense of being disconnected from one’s own family can be emotionally devastating. This isolation can lead to depression, anxiety, and a host of other mental health issues as individuals struggle to cope with the void created by the absence of familial support.
  2. Self-Esteem and Self-Worth: Family is often where we derive our sense of self-worth and identity. When family members do not show support or appreciation for an individual’s goals, choices, or achievements, it can erode self-esteem. Constant criticism or indifference can lead to a negative self-image and hinder personal growth and development.
  3. Stress and Anxiety: Family conflict or a lack of support can lead to chronic stress and anxiety. The constant tension and emotional turmoil associated with strained familial relationships can take a toll on an individual’s mental health, often resulting in a state of heightened anxiety and persistent stress.
  4. Impacts on Decision-Making: The absence of family support can also affect an individual’s decision-making process. Fear of judgment or disapproval from family members can lead to self-doubt and hesitancy in pursuing one’s goals or aspirations. This, in turn, can stifle personal growth and lead to feelings of regret or unfulfillment.
  5. Seeking Professional Help: When faced with a lack of familial support and its adverse effects on mental health, seeking professional help is a crucial step. Therapists and counselors can provide valuable guidance and strategies to cope with emotional distress, rebuild self-esteem, and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
  6. Building Support Networks: While family support is invaluable, it’s essential to remember that support can come from various sources. Building a strong network of friends, mentors, or support groups can help mitigate the effects of a family’s lack of support. These individuals can offer the understanding, validation, and encouragement that may be missing within the family circle.

Conclusion

Recognizing that your family may not care about you can be a painful and difficult realization. It’s essential to remember that you deserve love, care, and support in your life. If you identify with several of the signs mentioned above, consider seeking professional help or reaching out to friends and support networks to create a more nurturing and caring environment for yourself.

When your family blows you off and cancels meetings/appointments at the last minute or makes snide innuendos about but life, finances, and health you have to decide do you need to have toxic people in your life.

When your family brags about their achievements, and their material expenditures, their world adventures, whilst you may be struggling to make ends meet and they give you no support in terms of liking and sharing your social media posts and connection requests, you have to decide if is it worth you having them in your life. When you share good news and they ignore you, you have to ask yourself why they are behaving the way they do. Don’t hold grudges, just move on, one day they will live to regret their actions.

Understanding the reasons behind this perception can help you navigate these complex dynamics and work towards building healthier, more supportive relationships within your family. Effective communication, empathy, and a willingness to address underlying issues can go a long way in bridging the gap and fostering a stronger sense of care and connection among family members.

The absence of family support can have a profound and lasting impact on an individual’s mental health. It’s crucial to recognize the signs of this issue and seek professional help when needed. Additionally, cultivating alternative support networks can provide the emotional reinforcement necessary to navigate the challenges created by a family’s lack of understanding and support. Ultimately, taking care of one’s mental health is a deeply personal and essential journey, even when family support is not readily available.

Further Reading

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/mental-health/

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/useful-links/

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/useful-links-2/

https://cymrumarketing.com/landlords-and-tenants-useful-links/

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/finance-matters-useful-links/

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#mentalhealth #support #empathy #lackofempathy #selfesteem #empowerment #motivation #respect #lackofrespect #boundaries #negligence #gaslighting #stress #anxiety

Support & Encouragement

Support & Encouragement

If you can follow like and share complete strangers’ content and worship celebrities then why can you not be supportive to your family, friends, and their businesses?

I will give you an example I did a social experiment yesterday to see how many members of my family would, like, comment, share, or even respond to a text message and Facebook post I had made, even though they are active online.

You will be surprised to know that I had ZERO interaction from them, yet they want me to sit at the same table as them and have dinner with them.

If you can gawk at a TV show for half an hour idolizing celebs you have never met or spend time on social media platforms, why can you not be supportive of friends and family that may rely on likes, shares, and comments to generate more traffic to their businesses?

According to the latest statistics an average person spends 145 minutes every day on social media, or 2 hours and 25 minutes every day. One of the most surprising things is that the figure has gone up by almost a full hour since 2012, so if every person with a smartphone checks their phone for messages and emails to then say they are not connected with the main social media platforms may be telling a white lie. Our brains are wired to release a chemical called dopamine which is a neurotransmitter to make us feel happy, it prompts us to connect online and can be addictive.

It is therefore disappointing to know that these members of my family have totally ignored the message I sent yesterday, in fact, total strangers over 9.5K on LinkedIn alone and I have never met before are more supportive of me online than my own family, which basically says a lot.

Therefore I have to analyse why that could be and this is what I have found.

  1. People are so consumed in their own beliefs and lifestyles and may not understand yours, hence will not be supportive of you.
  2. Others may be insecure about their own dead-end lives and may not want you to succeed for the fear that you might actually make something of yourself and leave them standing. This for all intent and purposes it is jealousy, as they can see you are turning your life around whilst they are stuck in their mundane lives, eating, sleeping, and working with no purpose and most cases up to their eyeballs in debt (mortgages, car loans credit cards, etc). Your life is more exciting than theirs, especially if you are debt-free.
  3. Most people are batteries in the matrix and are programmed and will not support or encourage you because they do not know-how.
  4. Sometimes entrepreneurs may act a little crazy, weird, different, outrageous, and maybe dreamers, believers, trailblazers. This is nothing to be shunned upon in fact it should be celebrated. Yet people do not like anything that is different, they like normal and may label you as eccentric and have reservations and fear that your craziness may rub off on them so they do not comment or interact.
  5. They may think very highly of themselves even going as far as believing they are better than you, so will not be supportive of anything you put your hands to, (which I believe is true). A true friend or sincere family member will reach out to you at least once a month and not a couple of times a year.
  6. Often in entrepreneurship CEOs may make decisions that others would not consider doing as they want to play safely in their mundane lives. They may not support you because they see what you do is a gamble.
  7. If your family or friends see no change in your lifestyle, they may think you are not succeeding and without you proving you have assets they will never believe in you until they see it for themselves, hence will not give you the encouragement as they will assume and presume you are failing.
  8. People may not support you because they do not believe in your values.
  9. They may not understand the concept that the more likes, shares, and comments you have the more traffic it will attract as their friends will see your content also and the cycle continues.

I wrote a post on Linkedin asking if a domain broker does not interact with you on your posts, should you like, share and comment on their posts? I believe everyone that wants exposure should interact with one another, a bit like “I will scratch your back if you scratch mine”. It does not have to be business orientated it could be you as an individual wanting more connections, friend requests, and liked to your posts.

“When someone does not support or encourage you, do what you do twice and take pictures”.

My social experiment was a disaster but my family got the message I was advertising, even though they may deny ever receiving anything from me and not realize the aftermath and consequences of their unresponsive reactions.

There is always a domino effect to everything we do in life. If they are not interested in my life, only when it suits them, then why should I be interested in theirs?

“Their beliefs are not your beliefs”.

“Never tell people your problems, 80% don’t care and the other 20% are glad you have them”.

“Don’t feel bad when people reject you. People usually reject things because they can’t afford them”.

“Never ignore someone who cares about you because someday you’ll realize you lost a diamond when you were busy collecting stones”.

For me, I am trying to not be resentful because the members of my family that have not been supportive in what I do could have helped me by spreading awareness which essentially costs nothing. I do not need empowerment from them, they have had plenty of chances, but it would have been nice to have had a like, comment, and share rather than nothing at all.

In turn, they could have inadvertently helped others like myself that suffer from disabilities to encourage them with kind comments. It is not as if they never received my message as I sent them all a text message which was delivered.

Giving support and encouragement can be uplifting and can change a person’s mood and help with mental health issues. Always be kind and considerate and do think twice before scrolling past a post or completely ignoring a text message, especially if they are friends or family.

My family’s time will come when they will learn the truth of how I actually have felt and how their lack of support has affected my mental health.

I do not dwell on things, just record certain memories for reference. I am learning to disassociate myself from negativity and judgemental people, who are just watching and waiting for you to fail. Never let anyone’s negativity alter your mental state it is their opinion it is no the rest of the world’s opinion and who are they at the end of the day if they are judgemental and unsupportive.

I suppose you live and learn and you carry on.

https://www.thedailypositive.com/32-facts-to-remember-when-people-are-unsupportive/

What is Narcissism

What is Narcisissism.

Narcissism is a PERSONALITY DISORDER, it is defined by the pursuit of POWER wanting other people to see you as IMPORTANT. Seeking gratification for everything you do including ooking for COMPLIMENTS AND ADMIRATION from a personal self-image to being RECOGNISED for the things you may do. It is the feeling that you love yourself so much that you expect others to love you too and in the same way. A Narcissitic person wants to be NO 1 in everything they do and wants CONTROL of his/her surroundings. The term originated from Greek mythology, where a young man named Narcissus fell in love with his own image reflected in a pool of water.

Todays post was prompted by a comment that was made on another post which got me thinking I should write about Narcissism as this has affected me personally and over the years I tried to evaluate this particular individual that essentially tried to control me.

At first this person who will remain nameless for now was introduced to me by a friend. My first impressions was I did not like him, call it a gut feeling if you will. However it was at the time where I was feeling alone and wanting deperately, someone, anyone to comfort me as I had lost both my parents in a short space of time. It was after several meetings through my social circles I had, I met this person again.

The first time I met him he was very drunk and the times after that he was sober but it was a favour for a friend I ended up meeting him alone (Jan 2010 – all will be revealed in my book). Pleasantly surprised, I found him charming and funny and thought perhaps I had read him wrong and gave him another chance.

It was not long after we started dating and being extremely naive at the time it did not cross my mind that he was interested in me as I had inherited a lot of money. However tragedy struck again within a month of me dating him when I lost my brother.

I felt my life was falling apart and needed someone to help me hold it together.

Obviously being fairly well off I was able to fund holidays abroad and it was most probably four months into our relationship I experienced the first outburst. I brushed it off as I thought maybe he was having an off day as most people do not see eye to eye at some point in their relationship and I just thought it was a one off incident.

He showed no signs of being narcissistic until most probably a year later where he would start to question everything I did and who I was with and the first serious incident was when he sprayed an concoction of chemicals in my eyes and temporarily blinded me.

I will be the first person to admit I was very stupid with what played out after, as I refused to press charges against him. I thought I could reason with him, CHANGE HIM and make him learn from his mistakes, I even suggested therapy, how wrong was I, as it was three year after the first major incident he struck again this time kicking my knee seven times until it dislocated and to this day I now have problems with it and will have to have an operation to have it fixed. I even tried analysing his background as I noticed people in his birthplace very abusive to their partners which made think this is their way of life. His mother even admitted to being abusive to her disabled husband when he was alive, so it could even be a trait copied from his mother.

Obviously he did other things in between these incidents, in which it is all now very difficult to recall and buried deep, but I have logged all the evidence as the incidents occurred at the time, just to protect myself.

What did I learn from this:

  1. Never trust anyone implicitly.
  2. Do not believe you can change a person because you can’t.
  3. The first signs of any abuse find a way to end the relationship.
  4. Have an escape plan.
  5. Tell everyone, friends and family about this person.
  6. Isolate yourself from this person. Have an escape plan.
  7. Know the signs especially if the perpetrator shows no empathy.
  8. Do not make excuses for the narcissist, do not make excuses to yourself saying this was a one off incident or the person will change, because they won’t.
  9. Recognise all the traits.
  10. Empower yourself with confidence and start to love yourself again.

For me I have not really reflected on how I have felt as I buried it under tonnes of work and have always kept myself busy in order not to think and dwell on the past. The past is history and if anything it tought me a life lesson in which I can safetly say I will never be in the same situation again and can forewarn others through my own personal experience. I was stupid and naive to put up with all the BS and all the abuse I endured, I was in a viscious cycle everytime time something happened I would say to myself next time it will not happen but next time alway did. Eventually one day I said enough is enough and have not looked back since. Kicking my knee was what broke the camel’s back so to speak and I was lucky as it could have been a totally different story.

The traits to look out for are:

  1. Lack of Empathy. “The inability to identify with or recognise the experiences and feelings of other people. Everything is about them and belongs to them,”. When I asked the perpertrator to explain why he did the things that he did, he could not give me an answer, did not show guilt or remorse and was unapologetic.
  2. Manipulation. The ability to twist the situation to better suit their narrative is a poignant personality trait that all egotistical people possess. The perpertrator managed to always blame me for everything that he was not happy with. He would judge me all the time.
  3. Projection. Projection is a defence or an unconscious pattern that occurs when the person feels psychologically threatened, they will then accuse you of doing something to throw the linelight off themselves, a good example is the person who is cheating accuses his partner of cheating. He used to always accuse me of being unfaithful.
  4. Emotionally cold. I said earlier in a reponse to a comment that I was cold as ice, but what I failed to say I also have empathy, I do have feelings and I know when I am wrong. My life experience has made more thick skinned and if say someone critises me I just take that as their own opinion. Theres a saying “what does not kill you makes you stronger”. An emotionally cold or distant trait normally surfaces during arguments when one person is experiencing and expressing significant emotion and the narcissistic person just lets your emotions go over his/her head and does not respond, giving you a cold shoulder. This essentially makes you feel alone and unloved.
  5. Gaslighting. Doing things deliberately in order to question yourself, whilst taking the onus off themselves. Gaslighting term first arose from the 1930’s play Gas Light, where a husband, in an attempt to drive his wife crazy, kept turning down the gas-powered lights in the house. When the wife asked why he is dimming the lights, he denied it and said they were no dimmer. Over time the wife would start to question herself and eventually found herself going mad. “Gaslighting is a form of emotional abuse that involves denying a person’s experience and making statements, such as ‘that never happened’ or ‘you are too sensitive”,
  6. Never Taking Responsibility. Knowing when you are wrong and admitting to your wrong doings or flaws makes us the bigger person, however with narcissists it is the polar opposite. A narcissist is a master of his/her own illusion and will try to avoid the blame with lying, cheating etc. A narcissist will make up complex excuses and rationalise anything, just so that they are left to blame.
  7. Controlling. The definition of controlling partner means that in most common manifestations of their relationship the narcissist will monitor your whereabouts at all times, checking your emails and text messages, criticising your appearance, and making nearly all important decisions, with little regard for your opinion. In my case not matter have immaculately I dressed and kept my appearance I was always critised and called names. I had my phone taken off me (If I did not give him what he wanted I would get physically abused) and he would post and invite his ex girlfriends onto my Facebook. He would check to see who I was meeting and check my text messages.
  8. Grandiose. Grandiosity is a pattern in which a person tends to exaggerate accomplishments, talents, connections, and experiences. In the case of my abuser he told tails about his past life but I never really believed in anything he said. The narcissist usually do not have to be real experiences, grandiose people tend to maintain over-the-top fantasy worlds. Grandiosity can also be manifested by a sense of self-importance, a belief that their existence is bigger and more important than anyone else’s and certainly more important than yours.
  9. Panic. A narcisist will panic if you threaten to break up or leave them, ss soon as you back away, a narcissist will try that much harder to keep you in their lives. They will do everything and anything to shower you with affection, they will say all the right things to make you think they have changed so that you never leave them and the cycle continues round and round until oneday day you say enough is enough.
  10. Mentally & Physically Abusive. Aswell as playing mind games a narcissist may also become physically violent in order to have control over you. When this happens do not hang around and have an exit plan to get away. In my case I stopped my abuser visiting me and changed the locks, I also showed him all the evidence I have collated and what I will do with it should he ever try to come near me again. So far touch wood it has worked. If you live with your abuser you must make an exit plan where you can grab a bag and run. Make a list of people you can confide in, set up secret codes. Fill your bag with important documents passports, money etc. Just take the essentials so that you can escape to somewhere safe. Or wait for them to leave and change the locks and call the police. For me my abuser is out of my life and I have seen he has moved on as he is in a relationship with someone else, which means he no longer has any use for me.

A narcissist will only move on when they find someone else they can prey on.

That is why narcissists are not loyal and are more likely to play the field. A narcissist can never find love as they are never satisfied with what they have and will always be looking for something better.

How to React When Someone Blanks You.

How to Deal With Someone Who has Blanked You.

So how do you deal with people who blank you?

Being ignored hurts.

Deciding how to react can be difficult especially if you are not bosom pals.

  1. Try to evaluate the situation and consider the implications if you do confront the person and their reaction. They may be false and give you a half-hearted apology. Try to think back to the last time you spoke to them (which in my case apart from the text was most probably at the beginning of the year for my daughter’s birthday dinner). The situation was strained as I always think there is an ulterior motive to meeting up once a year when you do not bother with that person for the rest of the 364 days. Think of a time perhaps where they have been angry or hostile toward you? Did you say something to offend them? If so, they are probably still stewing over whatever it was set them off in the first place. On the other hand, if you had a great time with them last time, there’s probably a very good reason they have blanked you. They could have been busy and not had the time to reply or simply forgotten. In my case and I have many people that contact me on a daily basis I always find time for them and will not blank them as it does not say much about me if I did. Blanking is simply being rude.
  2. Ask another person that knows the two of you, why you’re being ignored. In some cases, if you know the person’s friends or relatives you could ask them. If the person ignoring you is a friend or coworker, ask a mutual friend or coworker who may know why you’re being ignored. Perhaps you have upset the person inadvertently and they have decided to just ignore you to avoid escalating any conflict. A third party might be able to assess the situation more objectively and help you figure out why you’re being ignored. In my case I could possibly ask my ex-sister-in-law from my other brother’s marriage as this person does speak to her more often than I do. I personally think Madam has got too big for her boots.
  3. Confront the Bull by the Horns. Ask the person ignoring you directly why they are behaving this way. Confront the person ignoring you directly face to face and ask them what is upsetting them. If they are true they will give you an honest answer but if they are false they will be cowardly and say there is nothing wrong just to get you off the scent. Confront the person in a private and quiet place away from any distractions or send them an email or letter and calmly ask why they have chosen to ignore you. Express your feelings in a calm and courteous manner. Present evidence that they’ve been ignoring you, such as not returning your calls or emails, or not responding when you speak to them. Listen attentively to their explanation.

Final Thoughts.

Depending on the circumstances and situation it may be easier said than done and may prove to be awkward to tackle. If you are in a workplace and you are being ignored during work time, confront the person or persons individually. Confronting them as a group may cause them to gang up on you. If that does not work then go to your superiors. If however, it is during break times, again you can confront the person or persons one by one but tread with caution. You need to find the instigator and get to the bottom of why this is happening to you.

This is simple advice to be a better person, do no blank people, make time for people and consider people’s feelings.

Knowing Your Boundaries

Former Secret Service Agent Reveals How to Adopt a Commanding Presence | Evy Poumpouras

KNOWING YOUR BOUNDARIES

Knowing your boundaries and the lines that people can cross will help you understand trust.

Trust is conditional or unconditional.

Conditional Trust: is where you enter an agreement with the car salesperson or a business partner. These types of agreements have an element of risk and can be broken.

Unconditional Trust is whereby you have a life partner or family member and find that if this trust gets broken it could potentially crush you.

I have linked an excellent video about learning about setting boundaries and learning to trust people.

I would also recommend reading Evy Poumpouras book:

Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly Hardcover – Illustrated.

by: Evy Poumpouras Author- Ex Secret Service Agent.