Disability UK Online News Journal, Disability Business Directory, All In One Business Solutions

Category: Negative Thoughts

Chris O’Shea CEO of Centrica & British Gas Earns £775K Whilst The Vulnerable Suffer.

Chris O’Shea CEO of Centrica & British Gas Earns £775K Whilst The Vulnerable Suffer.

Centrica CEO Chris O’Shea has a salary of £775,000 per year and waives a £1.1 Million Bonus. His decision came as gas and electricity prices are set to soar by more than 50% for 22 million households across the UK in April.

Centrica said British Gas Energy saw a 44% jump in profits to £118 million last year. Citation.

** (The following is just my opinion and not fact). However one needs to look at the bigger picture if there is a board of directors for argument’s sake there are 12 as the pdf below suggests, and some not all are on a payroll (Non-executive directors are not directly employed), but that is not to say they do not get commissions or donations) and if each one has received £250K (hypothesis) per annum, that would be £2.75M, you have to ask yourself this question who works for nothing... https://boardappointments.co.uk/uk-non-executive-director-remuneration/

Biographies-Centrica

How can you pay for increased prices if you do not have the money, to begin with?

I first would like to add I actually give this company free advertising space on my useful links page under the heading charities and on this page. (Backlinks Cost Money)!! Advertising was requested by British Gas in May.

I would like to introduce myself, I am the Editor of ‘Disability UK -Disabled Entrepreneur Journal’. I am a Businesswoman and Author. I suffer from Cerebellar Atrophy Cognitive Impairment, Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD), and Depression. My Disabilities do not define me and I am not afraid to say I have them. I am also a carer for my daughter who has ‘Multiple Sclerosis’.

I have indeed contacted ‘The British Gas Charity’ which is a joke (application Number 1035904). I filled in the form and submitted my meter reading and documentation. They said it would take 10 days for someone to approve my application (that was on the 31st of May 2022) and it did not surprise me that they never responded.

It is all smoke and mirrors because if the majority of people in Britain with British Gas are in turmoil, I do not think they have endless amounts of money to give away. So their charity is not worth the web space.

I am a genuine case and for them to not even respond says a lot about them. (Try them out for yourself if you are a British Gas Customer, but do not get your hopes up).

In turn, I said I have a donation page on my site, I continued to say how about everyone in British Gas pays £1.00, and that would go to paying off my debt, the woman (Valencia I believe) I spoke to said that will never happen, yet I am supposed to advertise this company to my readers, and get nothing in return? Better still, how about the CEO Chris O’Shea pay off my debt seeing as I am advertising for free and they wasted two and half hours of time where I could have been working and caused me ‘Emotional Distress’!!!

https://britishgasenergytrust.org.uk/ 

(Help With Utility Bills)

Now if a company has profits into the millions then they should take into account vulnerable people which they do not.

After being prompted to phone British Gas because I was being spammed 6 times by this number: 03332029470, (this is harassment) I took it upon myself to phone and complain. The phone call today lasted 2hrs 18 mins (see screenshot).

The original number that phoned me was (03332029470) to set up a smart meter and I had to justify why I do not want one which I have written previously about: https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/how-safe-are-smart-meters-for-your-health/ The customer representative technical department went on to say they would send someone to my home to ask me why I do not want one. Good Luck to anyone visiting as I am not allowing anyone over my threshold. The woman I spoke to said that because I had submitted a meter reading my monthly bill which was at the beginning of the year £65 rose to £90 in April, then rose again to £138 in May, and wait for this rose again today to £190 per month.

£190 Per Month Gas Payments!

I started crying (no word of a lie), I told the operative that the most I can afford is £100 per month and she point blank refused to help spread the costs over 36 months.

She continued to say that my usage is a prediction….well before the meter reading I had my central heating on 24/7 as I have black mold and my daughter who has multiple sclerosis cannot be around the spores, so I need to keep the house warm.

I said my life is not important whilst my daughter is and I said it was unreasonable and unfair to make me pay £190 when I cannot afford to do so right now.

(Obviously, the woman does not know how to count because if I paid £100 already this month and I still owe £333 (1st quarter) and each quarter after that was £400 for argument’s sake that would be £1,600 per annum divided by 12 months = £133 per month and not £190). I am going to bring this up when I submit my new meter reading.

This woman simply did not care what I was saying.

I also said if I cannot afford to heat my home and the black mold spreads I can then sue British Gas if my daughter relapses again. She did not like what I said.

She gave me a complaint reference number: 8013807386

I said, “if I killed myself British Gas would not get a single penny from me”... My point was, do not push people over the edge, not that I was actually going to do it, there is a difference!

My Mental Health.

In my defense, I am NOT feeling suicidal just emotionally distressed, this is why I have an online journal where I can vent my anger and make my opinions known. I have a lot going for me and I feel for people who do not have a strong mind as I have, I see myself as their voice if they cannot defend themselves.

I use this platform to speak on behalf of people like myself or people worse off than me.

With social media, you may be restricted to what you can and can’t say. But on your own platform, you are in full control. Although I use social media to spread the articles I write.

I have a lot to live for, unbeknown to the people that are too ignorant to find out but are too quick to judge.

I mentioned this website multiple times “www.disabilityuk.co.uk” which forwards to “www.disabledentrepreneur.uk” in the phone call as I knew it was being recorded. I did it purposely so that people realize who I am. I will not stand for intimidation from anyone of any kind.

I just wanted British Gas to be empathic which they were not.

Duty Of Care.

What made me laugh was at the end of the call she said it was a duty of care for her to report me to the authorities because I mentioned the dreaded “If I kill myself”. She did not want any repercussions. It was not that she cared. People do not care unless it directly affects them. She did not want ‘British Gas’ to be in the news and I guess they are told if a customer says anything that is a red flag to report it. In other words, she has kicked the can down the road, so nothing happened on her watch.

Bring it on is all I can say because this will cause a domino effect and open up a can of worms.

In fact, I reached out to my GP in a letter over my mental health that was put on the system last year but was never actioned by any doctor.

According to the practice manager, Doctors are too busy to respond to emails or letters even though my daughter’s Neurologist who is also a Professor at Oxford University has the time and decency to respond to my daughter’s emails.

My time does not matter to anyone.

I have another day wasted rather than working, I have had to fart around having to waste nearly two and half hours of my precious time to get nowhere.

Let’s see what the media will say when I send this to every corner of the planet.

British Gas Has Caused Me Emotional & Psychological Distress!

Debt Recovery

Let the fun begin because if ‘British Gas’ decide to try and come after me and they use harassment tactics I am fully armed. Besides I plan to pay them off next month.

This would not be the first time they have been sued and I doubt it will be the last.

https://www.standard.co.uk/business/how-british-gas-ended-up-in-court-for-being-too-heavyhanded-with-customers-6878749.html

I mentioned the National Debt Line: https://www.nationaldebtline.org/fact-sheet-library/gas-and-electricity-arrears-ew/ and said that Utility Companies have to adhere to rules such as and the woman said my circumstances do not apply and it would be impossible to give me breathing space:

Vulnerability

People can be vulnerable for a wide range of reasons. Vulnerability can be linked to age, physical health, mental health, or going through a difficult time in life. A vulnerability could be temporary or ongoing. You should let your supplier know if there is anything about your circumstances that makes you vulnerable as they may offer you more support if they know this.

You should also check if your supplier has signed up for the Energy UK Vulnerability Commitment. Energy UK is a trade association. Suppliers signed up to the Vulnerability Commitment have said they will provide extra support to vulnerable customers. This includes:

  • Make sure staff have an understanding of vulnerability and can identify that you might be in vulnerable circumstances;
  • Give you an alternative way of contacting them in addition to phone contact;
  • Provide a freephone number if you are in financial difficulty and they think it is appropriate; and
  • Make sure you have paper versions of your bill if this is what you need.

This is a B#ll Sh#t because the woman today did not provide any of the above.

Furthermore, she refused to co-operate by turning the onus on me that I am not co-operating by not agreeing to pay £190 per month.

British Gas is having a laugh.

I said if it means I do not use hot water to bathe and not cook as well as not heating my home although I cannot see it being cold for a few months then that is what I will have to do. (This is degrading and affecting one’s quality of life).

I reiterated that I would be writing about British Gas on this website and “I quote the woman saying “we do not have anything to do with disabilities”.

I had zero support for my daughter and me who both have mental and physical disabilities.

This is what is stated on their website say: https://www.britishgas.co.uk/energy/help-if-youre-struggling-to-pay.html

Zero Support.

They have clearly not helped and made matters worse by causing emotional distress which is (tort). Emotional distress can be taken to court. https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/emotional-distress-compensation/

The moment I can pay this company off I am going to switch providers and will never recommend this company to anyone. They have an affiliate program which means they want help with marketing, so any affiliate marketers should avoid this company. By coincidence ‘British Gas’ are advertisers on Awin who I use for my affiliate marketing projects. Saying this I will never promote this company actively even though I have them listed on my useful links page and mentioned them in my article indirectly.

May I add that they never responded to my letter attachment in the email which had an auto-responder come back that they had in fact received my correspondence on the 28th of May 2022 but chose to ignore it?

Condenscending and Intimidating.

People working for these large blue-chip companies should keep their tone neutral, and opinions to themselves they should not be biased.

The woman (Valencia) I spoke to said I should look at stepchange.org I explained I am fully aware of my rights and she became condescending demanding I tell her what they said.

I am not going to allow you to browbeat me as this woman was trying to do.

My gut feeling is they have calculated my meter reading of what I owed prior to the price hike to the new prices to make more money.

I will be posting my new meter reading on here tomorrow including the one on the 31st and will see if my reading goes up again.

**I have published this page but may update it with more information, as when I get any updates from British Gas who emailed me today and said they had deadlocked my complaint, according to ‘Valencia’. As far as I am concerned it is not over until ‘the fat lady sings, in other words, it is a colloquialism that is often used as a proverb. It means that one should not presume to know the outcome of an event that is still in progress. More specifically, the phrase is used when a situation is nearing its conclusion.

So please come back for more updates.

Meter Reading 31/05/22
Meter Reading 15th June 2022

I am now going to be a thorn in British Gas’s side and every month I will be doing a meter reading.

Will I be pursuing “Emotional Distress Compensation” of course I will, and this is what you should do if you too feel you have become unwell because of any company.

https://www.financial-ombudsman.org.uk/consumers/expect/compensation-for-distress-or-inconvenience

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/emotional-distress-compensation/

Did yesterday’s (14/06/22) fiasco cause me emotional distress, and did British Gas treat me badly of course they did and this is not over until I say it is regardless of their deadlock narcissistic letter.

If you are in a similar position to me, it is not the end of the world and there is a solution to every problem.

If you feel suicidal call the Samaritans 116 123 (UK) or visit A&E – (UK) / ER – (USA) or call the Emergency Services 999 (UK) / 911 (USA).

On that note, I did get a welfare check from the Police albeit it was seven hours after my initial phone call to British Gas had ended and guess what the Police said they were on my side and agreed that the CEO needs to be aware of this as they are getting a lot of calls like the one they received about me.

Stay safe and do not let these companies bully you.

It is not your fault that the greedy people blue-chip companies, at the top of the food chain like P#tin, and the Banks, Governments, and Large Corporations want to milk every last penny out of you.

UPDATE 15/06/22

I have received two emails from British Gas and a letter regarding my complaint despite me saying I do not want letters in the post. (How to kill the planet with carbon emissions).

So they have disregarded my new meter reading which is calculated as follows and are not supporting people with mental health or disabilities, let the fun begin because I am going to be messaging the CEO directly:

Below is the email that was sent to me:

Total disregard for my new meter reading and disabilities.

Here are the calculations per unit as per the British Gas Website:

FINAL THOUGHTS

Ironically ‘British Gas’ will report you as “Duty of Care” if you happen to say something out of turn to make them look better but in the next breath disregard your disabilities and worst-case scenario cut off your supply.

People who are vulnerable especially old people may not turn on the heating or cook a hot meal in order to make sure their energy bills do not increase.

So although ‘British Gas’ may come across as they are helping it is all smoke and mirrors and they do not care about your well-being and would much rather pass the buck.

The other joke is why not reach out to organizations that specialize in financial difficulty. If you already know your financial circumstances and do not have the extra money, to begin with, no amount of juggling will pay off your debt and all you will be left with is to sell your assets if you have any or go bankrupt.

Maybe if everyone were to go bankrupt nationwide the Government would do something about it or maybe this is the end goal where no one owns anything (the great reset)?

https://www.weforum.org/great-reset/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Great_Reset

I am not sure what the hidden agenda is but if vulnerable people do not get the help then unfortunately there is going to become a bigger problem.

Nobody should live in poverty, not in the 21st Century, and not have a good quality of life. People should NOT be killed because of W#rs. W#ars are big business to the people on top of the food chain. If world leaders have no regard for human life by starting w#ars, what chances have the rest of us got? I am sorry but if any country starts a w#r where people will be killed it just shows they do not care about humans in general. Nobody should die to help the 1% richer.

If the cost of living is the cause of the increase in mental health then powers that be that are responsible for the demise need to be made accountable.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/tips-for-everyday-living/money-and-mental-health/

https://equiniti.com/uk/news-and-views/eq-views/championing-the-vulnerable-in-utility-services/

money-and-mental-health-2022-pdf

How can you pay for increased prices if you do not have the money, to begin with?

Together we are strong and we can fight this!

#chrisoshea #ceocentrica #vulnerablepeople #mentalhealth #suicide #suicidalthoughts #costofliving #britishgas

Renata’s Online Journal 11/05/22

Keep your business moving forward

Renata’s Online Journal.

My Online Journal is my safe space where I can share my stories and vent. I do not always write negatively but of late I have noticed blue-chip corporations treating people badly so not only is this my online therapy it also is a voice for people who cannot or do not know how to stand up for themselves.

Dear Diary,

I have not made an entry here for a while and yesterday was the ideal time to do some journaling and spill the beans.

The morning started out with me phoning all my insurance providers as I had deleted some direct debits in error. I suffer from cognitive impairment caused by cerebellum atrophy and sometimes muddle my words up. The words can be very overwhelming for me at times. Being stressed does not help and where I should have canceled one insurance policy, I actually canceled three. As it turns out the other two direct debits were obsolete, but still having to phone all nine companies was challenging.

The other problem I have is dreading talking over the phone so when I tried to rectify the problem via email I was point-blank declined and was told to call. The calling is not so bad but it listening to the prompts Press #1 for what you had for breakfast Press #2 what you had for lunch and #Press #3 just to annoy you more (just kidding) although I have been subjected to up to 4 minutes of this from various companies before the annoying music starts playing. God forbid if your call drops and you have to start all the BS all over again.

Insurers do not make it easy, so although you may take out insurance by a said insurer the underwriters a separate company collect payment. So there could be the same underwriter for multiple insurers which can make it difficult when trying to find out who is who. I have done a spreadsheet so that I do not get caught out again, but by the 9th insurer I had enough, yet my day was only starting.

I then got an email from British Gas that they needed me to phone them to set up a direct debit. I have anxiety about talking over the phone to people. The term used is Telephobia, but I bit the bullet and phoned them. I got to speak to someone who at first came across as slightly condescending when she thought I was unemployed with mental disabilities, (people confuse mental disabilities with stupidity on the contrary Albert Einstien, Nikola Tesla, and Charles Darwin to name a few all had mental disabilities (OCD – Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) ) so it was a shock to her when I mentioned this site. She then changed her tune and was more understanding and helpful going as far as giving me some links and recommending that I contact some of the links she had provided.

What rattled me was, that I was paying £65 at the beginning of the year then it went up to £90, and yesterday she wanted £138 per month. I was told I use more gas than the average household. The way I see it regardless if I did not use any gas at all, I still would have to pay for the service. I am not going to reduce the quality of my life and sit at home freezing cold. or only cook once a week. If a person is struggling to pay £90 then how the hell are they supposed to find the money to pay £138?

A little bit of maths and common sense would not go a miss.

“What are people supposed to do, do they have to rob banks or starve”?

Our PM is allegedly dragging his heels at helping the UK with the rise in the cost of living yet he is quick to give support to Sweden and Finland. Yet coming from a privedged upbringing he has never had any worries about where his next paycheck is going to come from or about putting food on the table. Living in a home that was decorated from private donations and wallpaper at £840 per roll he will never understand how the other half lives. His wallpaper is ugly just saying and I would not pay £1 per roll let alone £840.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-wallpaper-flat-refurb-b1850209.html

Someone on LinkedIn commented “that charity starts a home”, but what she failed to comprehend was the support in the event of a military attack on these countries will be money in BJs / Chancellor of the Exchequers Pockets so to speak. W#ar is big business at the expense of the people. How do you accumulate wealth if you do not lend money or charge interest on the money you lend out? This is how the money system works. If you lone out jets, sell ballistic and nuclear missiles you have to get paid and its one big game of the winner takes it all.

I do not support the funding of the lavish lifestyles of the 1% that think they own us and rob us blind. I never agreed to slaving away, did you?

No one owns me. I have a voice and I am not afraid to use it!

I am a spiritual being in a physical body and we are here for a reason and it is to teach others, empower and motivate and not steal, abuse, or kill, we are supposed to be intelligent human beings, not animals.

We should be able to distinguish right from wrong and if the likes of P#tin who orders the mass killings then he is no better than something that has just crawled out of a sewer. These people are vermin.

In fact, any person in power that has done wrong should be punished the same way as a member of public and should also be kicked out of office, I refer to certain politicians, that got a slap on the wrist and fines, for their publicised antics.

There is a Scottish MP trending at the moment that allegedly had £25 Million in Funding For PPE that supposedly ended up being used due to it not being of high quality and was returned. This MP is now being investigated.

Just imagine if this was the average entrepreneur that had done this, they would be facing a custodial sentence for fraud, but I guess if you own 6 houses (one in Belgravia in London) you have enough money to pay for a jail-free card on the monopoly board.

I spoke about a previous post about why people do not care and the customer representative said that people do care and that she cared (no they don’t unless it directly affects them). She then asked could she help me with anything else and I said “help me bring in more clients”, the call then ended without any feedback on my remark…I rest my case!

Reference the money she expected me to agree to I said I will pay, but will not be able to eat and the CEO of British Gas will certainly not have a problem bringing food to the table whilst I will and this is where she started to be sympathetic.

Frustration

I got my frustration out, if nothing else, and told her she was professional and had a calming voice, I just did not mention the fact she made me feel bad at the beginning of the conversation as what would have been the point. I felt had I not mentioned I am self-employed the conversation would have been slightly different.

If you have watched the video “The Hidden Secrets Of Money” By Mike Maloney”, you will start to realize this is one big game of monopoly with the Blue Chip Companies at the top of the food chain STEALING our prosperity.

“The is a Great Reset Looming on the Horizon”.

Do you think it is by chance this P#tin W#ar has broken out or is it something to do with the deficit spending and all the price rises? Have you forgotten about Brexit and how much money UK is in debt by and how much money they have to pay back, never mind the trade w#ar in China and the USA. Putting the jigsaw pieces together can you not see a picture emerging?

These blue-chip companies get a 6% commission for our sweat, labor, and hardship. Do you think that the dictator started the w#ar himself or was it pre-arranged at the round table, by a selected few?

People at the top of the food chain seem to think they own and control you and in a way they do.

An example of a battery in the matrix was Virgin Media which I have for months had an ongoing dispute again I have communicated by email and have told them not to phone me and what do they do? they only phone even though I specifically requested not to. What was interesting though my phone was on “do not disturb” but they managed to get through and the phone rang. I re-iterated how much emotional distress they put me through and I am still no closer to a resolution as the email I was promised I would have, never materialized.

So you can imagine the poor sod on the other end of the line receiving my wrath and me saying “if you read my email do you not understand English”, his reply was he was ordered by someone above him to phone me and my final reply was that he obviously did not have the balls to stand up to the person. Most people are afraid of speaking up in the workplace for the fear of being fired. People go to work like sheep to get their paychecks the majority do not go to work because they love the company that employs them they are solely there to do a job and get paid. They are human robots being told what to do. Their “VOICE” in the metaphorical sense of the word is taken away, they are slaves to the employer for the hours they work.

Anxiety & Panic Attack.

The day continued with my brother telling me that he is coming over to the UK at Christmas. Under normal circumstances, I should be ecstatic but I am having a panic attack simply thinking about it.

I have not left my home for three years due to social disconnection and OCD, actually, tell a lie I went out once to meet him last year for the day and I felt so ill after that but he was oblivious to my disability. He told me that I have to arrange my schedule and my work around him. He told me we will be talking this weekend coming.

Notice how my disability and my work are of no significance to him and I have to just get over myself.

The icing on the cake was the final straw that broke the camel’s back so to speak with my neighbor announcing she is moving within the month. she without a doubt had to be the nicest neighbor I have ever had, she was always kind, and caring and never did me wrong. I will miss her.

I do believe nothing standstills and when one door closes another one opens so although I felt very depressed yesterday with low self-esteem. That was yesterday though and your mood can change if you stay occupied and not dwell on what is bothering you. I am hopeful about tomorrow and about brighter things to come. I am fortunate I have an online journal to vent my anger which I can share with whoever wants to read my challenges. I did come across a website called (www.storiboard.co.uk) not mine may I add but a portal to share your stories.

Telling Your Story.

Anyone reading this who wants a platform to share their stories is more than welcome to subscribe here and I will make you a contributor or will manually upload your stories for you. It won’t cost you a penny only your time, it is completely free.

Domestic Violence.

I have gone through a lot over the last two decades (I won’t go into it all here but I am a ‘survivor of domestic violence‘ and and this is what drives me to tell my story) I won’t say I am strong all the time. I have good days and bad days and yesterday was a bad day for me but I know I will get over it. I am still standing and I won’t let anyone break me, sure they can try but when they knock me down and I get back up again so help me God.

I will be writing my biography soon and I will be calling out all the people that have done me wrong. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not awkward or vengeful, I just think some people deserve their five minutes of fame.

Superiority.

No one on this planet is better than you, we all do the same things, we eat, sleep and go to the bathroom, and we all cannot survive without water or air. We all have red blood and if Adam and Eve were the first people, then their children would have been inbred so we are all brothers and sisters. The world is an evil place with evil people living in it trying to suck the last ounce of happiness out of you. They should be very worried about what happens to them after they die. Just because some use 24kt Gold WCs does not make them any better than you. We all have the right to live on this planet in harmony and without having to worry about where the next paycheck is going to come from and if we can put food on the table. No one should fear for their lives or be killed for some political agenda. No one should lose their life for the sake of debt ceilings and deficit spending.

“The Hidden Secrets of Money” By Mile Maloney.

Invisible Disability.

I have an invisible disability and I expect to be acknowledged as a human being and not be judged, I expect people to give me the respect I deserve. I do not need anyone giving me advice, or being patronizing, after all when it comes to mental health I specialize in the subject hence why I built this site.

Never assume anything with me without asking me first.

I know if my finances improved so would my mental health. My cerebellum atrophy is incurable but with new drugs coming on the market anything is possible. I am staying positive and hopefully, someone reading this will invest in me.

One day soon you will learn what one particular “evil animal” did to me and how I am recovering.

I have audio recordings of all the death threats he made to me.

He is no longer residing in the UK, he left last December for Germany however within a month of him starting work he was fired due to an altercation with a woman at his place of work, why does that not surprise me.

Unfortunately, because he does not speak fluent English he was unable to set up an email address so I did it for him and forwarded all his emails to me for translation purposes with his consent, however, I have no access to his settings anymore, and cannot un-forward myself hence I get his emails and all the antics he is getting up to.

I use outlook and have blocked his email but people sending emails to him still come into my inbox. I have started marking them as spam as I have no other way of stopping any communication.

Remember not all that glitters is gold and that was my mistake and I have learned the hard way.

One day I will rise from the ashes and tell my full story.

Staying Positive.

Tomorrow is another day and I aim for a brighter future!

If you found this article insightful, please take a moment to share, comment, and subscribe. Also before you go, please also consider donating the equivalent of a cup of coffee to help keep this “Disability UK” Online Journal going.

#anxiety #stress #depression #lowselfesteem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthdisabilities #Centrica #JanaSiber

Blue Butterfly
Keep your business moving forward

Christmas Mental Health Part I – 2021

Christmas Mental health.

It is nearly this time of year again that I dread. I miss the hustle and bustle of my parents preparing a Christmas Eve dinner where all the family congregated to celebrate Christmas. I miss my parents and my brother. I miss the house we once lived in and I miss the atmosphere and preparations leading up to Christmas and buying presents, wrapping them, and feasting around a twelve-course dinner a Polish Tradition of twelve courses representing the twelve disciples.

Now I am left with just my daughter who has a boyfriend that is not my biggest fan, doing everything he can to avoid talking to me let alone being in the same room as me.

My only surviving close relative is my brother that lives in the USA with his wife and children.

My niece and nephew who are grown-up will fly home to visit their biological mother, but because of my social disconnection disorder, I am finding it hard to leave my house never mind travel to visit them.

Furthermore, Wales is going into lockdown just after Christmas, and no way I am going to go out with sickly people around.

I was once told I was selfish for not having the vaccine, yet what I failed to mention was I have a peg allergy and was advised by the hospital not to have one and have been removed from their list. Sometimes not saying anything is much easier than having to explain yourself.

If there is an ‘Omicron Pandemic’ then all the people that go around spreading germs should be called selfish not me.

No way am I going out until herd immunity has kicked in. This is my choice to work from home and not meet people and am happy just doing Zoom and Skype calls.

Certain people in my network have also asked me what about exercise? advising me to get up early to walk around the lake and back again.

I cannot walk very far because of my bad knee because of the consequences of one person’s actions, a person that kicked my knee 7 times to cause it to dislocate on purpose. Even if I had a good knee I do not have the time to take off (please view an example of my Critical Time Path below).

I have since that unfortunate day had problems walking and am in excruciating pain if I walk or try to bend. Just in case no one has noticed my bad knee it is because I do not whinge or cry like a baby when I am in pain.

For example, If I have 150 websites to manage to give them 2 hours of my time, where can I find the time to do anything else?

My Distant Relatives.

My family in Poland might as well be dead to me as I have no respect for them after a massive family disagreement that involved my abusive ex-partner. I tried being the bigger person and offered an olive branch and not one of them has bothered to reach out to me, which is really sad. This is another story that I will write in my autobiography someday.

I do have family in Mexico but because I am not vaccinated it is going to be virtually impossible for me to visit them (I have a Peg Allergy and Social Disconnection Disorder).

I did try speaking with my GP a few weeks ago but was met by the rottweiler of a practice manager that tried to intimidate me and refused to pass my message on that I needed to speak with the head GP over a complaint where I had written a letter in May 2021 as it had not been answered. She told me GP’s are too busy to correspond, I wrote about GP Negligence in the article here.

So the naysayers will say so why do I not find another GP, well that would mean me going out of my comfort zone and being among sickly people. OCD and GP waiting rooms do not work well.

Don’t get me wrong I am ok, I do find Christmas rather depressing but how I see it, it is just another day with no meaning anymore.

I try to avoid talking to people on a social scale because why should I pretend to be happy this time of year when I am not. Nobody can possibly understand how I feel if they have not walked in my shoes.

I have experienced grief, of the most unimaginable kind.

No one has a right to judge me or give their advice if they are not professionals or experts in the field of psychology.

I have tried getting more help perhaps upping my medication but my GP surgery is as helpful as a chocolate fireguard. My email snippet can be viewed below, which was ignored:

Will I sue them for the negligence, of course, I will but first I have to get Christmas out of the way.

I won’t say I hate my life, it could be better with my mental health and I believe it will be with my self-help therapy no thanks to the NHS may I add.

I have found a purpose in life and am on my way to getting everything I desire. Once I achieve all my goals God help anyone that tried to stand in my way.

I find writing my thoughts down is therapeutic as well as scripting positive thoughts.

If anything I will treat myself to a fancy Christmas Dinner delivered by “Deliveroo” and maybe watch a film or two, no point cooking for one.

I stay away from alcohol as it got me into a lot of trouble no end of times when I got drunk in the past and now I want to preserve my precious brain cells rather than suffer from a thumping headache the day after. I do not see the sense of drinking and getting drunk and wasting money on something my body will dispense down the toilet.

Currently, I am feeling a little low, I have my worries and anxieties, just like most people this time of year, and am trying to work through them.

I also have a demonic cat that does nothing for my mental health and keeps me up all night long. He does not belong to me and is my daughters’. I am extremely tired because he constantly meows or tries to break the door down if I lock him in a room. God Only Knows what the neighbors must think?

I am doing my best to not give in or give up, although I have been very close to hanging up my apron strings on more than one occasion in the past, I know if I persevere I will get to where I am going.

At the moment I am like a modern-day Howard Huges (I may not be as bad as him, I certainly do not sit naked in front of my computer 🤣😂 but I do have a problem with germs, may I add OCD is not a laughing matter) it does not stop me from working, and following my dreams but on my own terms.

I will just like last year have my chat open throughout the Christmas period just in case anyone is feeling low and wants someone to talk to. I will also announce it on my front and on all my social media networks.

Yes, life can be a shit show but if you find something positive to do and can focus on, you can start to create a better life for yourself. There are plenty of opportunities if you know where to look.

Everyone has a story to tell, and am eager to hear yours…

Drop Me A Message Using the Form Below or Start A Chat.

I will have Chat Open Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve, and News Day, just in case someone is feeling low.

Wishing Everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Prosperous New Year 2022!

#christmasloneliness #christmasdepression #christmasmentalhealth