Category: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder(Page 1 of 2)
The domain name www.ocd.cymru is for sale. This is the perfect opportunity to acquire this domain and develop it into a website or blog. How many people in Wales suffer from OCD.? This can be an inspirational, motivational website helping people in Wales.
Anyone interested in either acquiring the domain or partnering with us should send us an email in the first instance to info@ukwebsitedesigners.co.uk
OCD Cymru would be ideal as a personal blog for someone suffering from OCD, a charity, or a business.
I bought this domain a few years ago in the hope of turning it into a site dedicated to Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), however, as times move on I decided to develop a site for general disabilities, so this domain www.ocd.cymru is for sale. I do use the domain to promote my articles but I also have a sub-directory.
OCD is very personal to me because I suffer from this disability. If you follow my online journal you will be able to read how I manage my OCD and how people can affect my illness day to day.
You can read all about the articles I have written on OCD here.
Micro-dosing Psilocybin Mushrooms improve mental health after one month.
Suffering from mental health issues for over 30 years now and being prescribed the same medication year in and year out without any significant improvement one must look at alternative ways to heal.
I suffer from anxiety, stress, depression, panic attacks, social disconnection, and OCD.
The NHS has failed me because month after month my symptoms do not improve, and I must resort to self-help to get through certain days.
I have never explored or ever taken psychedelic drugs and it was only by watching a documentary on Netflix “How to change your mind” that I started to realize there are diverse ways to treat my disorder.
Psilocybin Mushrooms.
Psilocybin mushrooms: commonly known as magic mushrooms, mushrooms, are a polyphyletic informal group of fungi that contain psilocybin which turns into psilocin upon ingestion. Biological genera containing psilocybin mushrooms include Copelandia, Gymnopilus, Inocybe, Panaeolus, Pholiotina, Pluteus, and Psilocybe. Wikipedia
The study published in Nature: Scientific Reports has observed significant benefits to mood and mental health after one month of micro-dosing psilocybin mushrooms.
Mushroom microdoses saw greater improvements across the DASS domains of Depression, Anxiety, and Stress. The study found that the microdose cognitive efficacy was higher performing in people aged under 55.
The study looked at 1133 people over the course of two years. All subjects were over 18 years old, able to read in English, and had access to an iPhone iOS device where participants recorded their results. Scientific Reports is a peer-reviewed, open-access scientific journal published online by Nature Portfolio.
The study was conducted by a team of experts in the fields of psychology and mycology: Joseph M. Rootman, Department of Psychology, University of British Columbia, Kelowna, BC, Canada; Maggie Kiraga, an employee of Quantified Citizen Technologies. Pamela Kryskow, a member of the clinical advisory board of Numinus Wellness, co-founder of MycoMedica Life Sciences, and on the Scientific & Medical Advisory Board; Kalin Harvey; Paul Stamets, who founded Fungi Perfecti, LLC; Eesmyal Santos-Brault; Kim P. C. Kuypers; and Zach Walsh, a member of the Advisory Board of the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS) Canada and MycoMedica Life Sciences.
The reason GPs are not willing to advise or prescribe holistic medicine is that it would cost the Big Pharma Industry big bucks. If people could cure themselves after a month of using natural plant-made drugs the pharma companies would soon feel the pinch. I wrote previously what your doctor won’t tell you.
I have concluded my own doctor is as useful as a chocolate fire guard.
Even if my doctor could not prescribe ‘Microdosing Psilocybin Mushrooms’ she could have at least told me about it and recommended where I should go to get it. According to the UK, it is still not legal and a petition was made but coincidently because of a General Election in November 2019 it was closed, well all I can say is someone should restart it again: https://petition.parliament.uk/archived/petitions/260806
All I know is that Imperial College London is doing research into the benefits and negative effects of psilocybin and other psychedelic compounds. I only say this as I reside in the UK but other parts of the world will have other studies, where you need to do your own research to find out who is doing it closer to your area.
In the most rigorous trial to date assessing the therapeutic potential of a ‘psychedelic’ compound, researchers compared two sessions of psilocybin therapy with a six-week course of a leading antidepressant (a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor called escitalopram) in 59 people with moderate-to-severe depression.
The results, published today in the New England Journal of Medicine, show that while depression scores were reduced in both groups, the reductions occurred more quickly in the psilocybin group and were greater in magnitude.
Editors Thoughts.
As a consequence, I blame the NHS and the powers that be for not giving me the right support and ultimately making my condition worse.
Similar to abortions, who has the right to say what you do with your body?
It is your body and how you treat is your business and no one else’s unless you are out of control.
What a person consumes is on them if they are of sound mind. Why make alcohol and cigarettes legal when they cause, liver failure or cancer. The reason why is because ‘Big Pharma’ relies on you becoming unwell. Whilst if everyone was cured they would not be laughing all the way to the bank.
People treated with psilocybin – named ‘COMP360’ by its developers, COMPASS Pathways PLC – showed marked improvements across a range of subjective measures, including in their ability to feel pleasure, and express emotions, greater reductions in anxiety and suicidal ideation, and increased feelings of wellbeing.
Dr. Robin Carhart-Harris, Head of the Centre for Psychedelic Research at Imperial, who designed and led the study, said: “These results comparing two doses of psilocybin therapy with 43 daily doses of one of the best performing SSRI antidepressants help contextualize psilocybin’s promise as a potential mental health treatment. Remission rates were twice as high in the psilocybin group than in the escitalopram group.
“One of the most important aspects of this work is that people can clearly see the promise of properly delivered psilocybin therapy by viewing it compared with a more familiar, established treatment in the same study. Psilocybin performed very favorably in this head-to-head.”
As suggested by the Imperial College London / Thomas Angus; Psilocybin capsules: warn that while the initial findings are encouraging,patients with depression should not attempt to self-medicate with psilocybin.However, I will be writing to anyone that is doing clinical trials with the view of volunteering.
I am therefore going to be on the lookout for clinical trials in my area, we can only wait and see. I could have been cured years ago, instead of being kept as a lab rat.
My Online Journal is my safe space where I can share my stories and vent. I do not always write negatively but of late I have noticed blue-chip corporations treating people badly so not only is this my online therapy it also is a voice for people who cannot or do not know how to stand up for themselves.
Dear Diary,
I have not made an entry here for a while and yesterday was the ideal time to do some journaling and spill the beans.
The morning started out with me phoning all my insurance providers as I had deleted some direct debits in error. I suffer from cognitive impairment caused by cerebellum atrophy and sometimes muddle my words up. The words can be very overwhelming for me at times. Being stressed does not help and where I should have canceled one insurance policy, I actually canceled three. As it turns out the other two direct debits were obsolete, but still having to phone all nine companies was challenging.
The other problem I have is dreading talking over the phoneso when I tried to rectify the problem via email I was point-blank declined and was told to call. The calling is not so bad but it listening to the prompts Press #1 for what you had for breakfast Press #2 what you had for lunch and #Press #3 just to annoy you more (just kidding) although I have been subjected to up to 4 minutes of this from various companies before the annoying music starts playing. God forbid if your call drops and you have to start all the BS all over again.
Insurers do not make it easy, so although you may take out insurance by a said insurer the underwriters a separate company collect payment. So there could be the same underwriter for multiple insurers which can make it difficult when trying to find out who is who. I have done a spreadsheet so that I do not get caught out again, but by the 9th insurer I had enough, yet my day was only starting.
What rattled me was, that I was paying £65 at the beginning of the year then it went up to £90, and yesterday she wanted £138 per month. I was told I use more gas than the average household. The way I see it regardless if I did not use any gas at all, I still would have to pay for the service. I am not going to reduce the quality of my life and sit at home freezing cold. or only cook once a week. If a person is struggling to pay £90 then how the hell are they supposed to find the money to pay £138?
“A little bit of maths and common sense would not go a miss“.
“What are people supposed to do, do they have to rob banks or starve”?
Someone on LinkedIn commented “that charity starts a home”, but what she failed to comprehend was the support in the event of a military attack on these countries will be money in BJs / Chancellor of the Exchequers Pockets so to speak. W#ar is big business at the expense of the people. How do you accumulate wealth if you do not lend money or charge interest on the money you lend out? This is how the money system works. If you lone out jets, sell ballistic and nuclear missiles you have to get paid and its one big game of the winner takes it all.
I do not support the funding of the lavish lifestyles of the 1%that think they own us and rob us blind. I never agreed to slaving away, did you?
No one owns me. I have a voice and I am not afraid to use it!
I am a spiritual being in a physical body and we are here for a reason and it is to teach others, empower and motivate and not steal, abuse, or kill, we are supposed to be intelligent human beings, not animals.
We should be able to distinguish right from wrong and if the likes of P#tin who orders the mass killings then he is no better than something that has just crawled out of a sewer. These people are vermin.
In fact, any person in power that has done wrong should be punished the same way as a member of public and should also be kicked out of office, I refer to certain politicians, that got a slap on the wrist and fines, for their publicised antics.
There is a Scottish MP trending at the moment that allegedly had £25 Million in Funding For PPE that supposedly ended up being used due to it not being of high quality and was returned. This MP is now being investigated.
Just imagine if this was the average entrepreneur that had done this, they would be facing a custodial sentence for fraud, but I guess if you own 6 houses (one in Belgravia in London) you have enough money to pay for a jail-free card on the monopoly board.
I spoke about a previous post about why people do not care and the customer representative said that people do care and that she cared (no they don’t unless it directly affects them). She then asked could she help me with anything else and I said “help me bring in more clients”, the call then ended without any feedback on my remark…I rest my case!
Reference the money she expected me to agree to I said I will pay, but will not be able to eat and the CEO of British Gaswill certainly not have a problem bringing food to the table whilst I will and this is where she started to be sympathetic.
Frustration
I got my frustration out, if nothing else, and told her she was professional and had a calming voice, I just did not mention the fact she made me feel bad at the beginning of the conversation as what would have been the point. I felt had I not mentioned I am self-employed the conversation would have been slightly different.
If you have watched the video “The Hidden Secrets Of Money” By Mike Maloney”, you will start to realize this is one big game of monopoly with the Blue Chip Companies at the top of the food chain STEALING our prosperity.
Do you think it is by chance this P#tin W#ar has broken out or is it something to do with the deficit spending and all the price rises? Have you forgotten about Brexit and how much money UK is in debt by and how much money they have to pay back, never mind the trade w#ar in China and the USA. Putting the jigsaw pieces together can you not see a picture emerging?
These blue-chip companies get a 6% commission for our sweat, labor, and hardship. Do you think that the dictator started the w#ar himself or was it pre-arranged at the round table, by a selected few?
People at the top of the food chain seem to think they own and control you and in a way they do.
An example of a battery in the matrix was Virgin Media which I have for months had an ongoing dispute again I have communicated by email and have told them not to phone me and what do they do? they only phone even though I specifically requested not to. What was interesting though my phone was on “do not disturb” but they managed to get through and the phone rang. I re-iterated how much emotional distress they put me through and I am still no closer to a resolution as the email I was promised I would have, never materialized.
So you can imagine the poor sod on the other end of the line receiving my wrath and me saying “if you read my email do you not understand English”, his reply was he was ordered by someone above him to phone me and my final reply was that he obviously did not have the balls to stand up to the person. Most people are afraid of speaking up in the workplace for the fear of being fired. People go to work like sheep to get their paychecks the majority do not go to work because they love the company that employs them they are solely there to do a job and get paid. They are human robots being told what to do. Their “VOICE” in the metaphorical sense of the word is taken away, they are slaves to the employer for the hours they work.
Anxiety& Panic Attack.
The day continued with my brother telling me that he is coming over to the UK at Christmas. Under normal circumstances, I should be ecstatic but I am having a panic attack simply thinking about it.
I have not left my home for three years due to social disconnection and OCD, actually, tell a lie I went out once to meet him last year for the day and I felt so ill after that but he was oblivious to my disability. He told me that I have to arrange my schedule and my work around him. He told me we will be talking this weekend coming.
Notice how my disability and my work are of no significance to him and I have to just get over myself.
The icing on the cake was the final straw that broke the camel’s back so to speak with my neighbor announcing she is moving within the month. she without a doubt had to be the nicest neighbor I have ever had, she was always kind, and caring and never did me wrong. I will miss her.
I do believe nothing standstills and when one door closes another one opens so although I felt very depressed yesterday with low self-esteem. That was yesterday though and your mood can change if you stay occupied and not dwell on what is bothering you. I am hopeful about tomorrow and about brighter things to come. I am fortunate I have an online journal to vent my anger which I can share with whoever wants to read my challenges. I did come across a website called (www.storiboard.co.uk) not mine may I add but a portal to share your stories.
Telling Your Story.
Anyone reading this who wants a platform to share their stories is more than welcome to subscribe here and I will make you a contributor or will manually upload your stories for you. It won’t cost you a penny only your time, it is completely free.
Domestic Violence.
I have gone through a lot over the last two decades (I won’t go into it all here but I am a ‘survivor of domestic violence‘ and and this is what drives me to tell my story) I won’t say I am strong all the time. I have good days and bad days and yesterday was a bad day for me but I know I will get over it. I am still standing and I won’t let anyone break me, sure they can try but when they knock me down and I get back up again so help me God.
I will be writing my biography soon and I will be calling out all the people that have done me wrong. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not awkward or vengeful, I just think some people deserve their five minutes of fame.
Superiority.
No one on this planet is better than you, we all do the same things, we eat, sleep and go to the bathroom, and we all cannot survive without water or air. We all have red blood and if Adam and Eve were the first people, then their children would have been inbred so we are all brothers and sisters. The world is an evil place with evil people living in it trying to suck the last ounce of happiness out of you. They should be very worried about what happens to them after they die. Just because some use 24kt Gold WCs does not make them any better than you. We all have the right to live on this planet in harmony and without having to worry about where the next paycheck is going to come from and if we can put food on the table. No one should fear for their lives or be killed for some political agenda. No one should lose their life for the sake of debt ceilings and deficit spending.
I have an invisible disability and I expect to be acknowledged as a human being and not be judged, I expect people to give me the respect I deserve. I do not need anyone giving me advice, or being patronizing, after all when it comes to mental health I specialize in the subject hence why I built this site.
Never assume anything with me without asking me first.
I know if my finances improved so would my mental health. My cerebellum atrophy is incurable but with new drugs coming on the market anything is possible. I am staying positive and hopefully, someone reading this will invest in me.
One day soon you will learn what one particular “evil animal” did to me and how I am recovering.
I have audio recordings of all the death threats he made to me.
He is no longer residing in the UK, he left last December for Germany however within a month of him starting work he was fired due to an altercation with a woman at his place of work, why does that not surprise me.
Unfortunately, because he does not speak fluent English he was unable to set up an email address so I did it for him and forwarded all his emails to me for translation purposes with his consent, however, I have no access to his settings anymore, and cannot un-forward myself hence I get his emails and all the antics he is getting up to.
I use outlook and have blocked his email but people sending emails to him still come into my inbox. I have started marking them as spam as I have no other way of stopping any communication.
Remember not all that glitters is gold and that was my mistake and I have learned the hard way.
One day I will rise from the ashes and tell my full story.
Staying Positive.
Tomorrow is another dayand I aim for a brighter future!
If you found this article insightful, please take a moment to share, comment, and subscribe. Also before you go, please also consider donating the equivalent of a cup of coffee to help keep this “Disability UK”Online Journal going.
Stress is the body’s way of reacting to a situation whereby you may feel threatened or under pressure. It may cause a domino effect of anxiety, headaches, or even depression. Depending on how well we cope under pressure will determine the final outcome of the end result.
Anxiety.
Anxiety is your body’s natural defense against stress. Anxiety is caused by overthinking, being worried, or fear of the outcome of a situation whereby the feeling of uncertainty or apprehension makes us feel vulnerable.
Headaches.
Headaches are symptoms of pain in the eyes, face, head, or neck. They cause brain fog and irritability. They may intensify as migraine, tension-type headache, or cluster headache left untreated. Headaches are linked with an increased risk of depression to those with severe headaches. Causes of headaches may vary although they can include dehydration, fatigue, sleep deprivation, stress, the effects of medications (overuse) and recreational drugs, including withdrawal, viral infections, loud noises, common colds, head injury, rapid ingestion of very cold food or beverage, dental or sinus issues, and Covid Virus.
Stress, Anxiety, and Headaches.
We all experience from time to time issues that cause us to feel stressed. These can be because of on onset of certain events that happen in our lives where we feel we are losing control. As a consequence, we may become anxious due to fear or uncertainty making us feel vulnerable, which then can lead to symptoms of headaches and even depression.
My Online Health Journal.
Today, I am feeling unwell, and is one of those days whereby have mentioned before I use this portal to vent my frustrations, talk about my disabilities, my coping strategies, and writing as a form of therapy by letting it all out for anyone that is interested in the drama that occasionally happens in my life.
Because I am connected with a lot of international people on LinkedIn I find that some people do not take into account time zones and if left unmonitored I would be called all hours of the night so at some point, I either turn my phone on “do not disturb” or “airplane mode”.
So you can imagine my horror when I turned my phone on this morning to multiple missed calls and several text messages saying the flat below had sprung another leak.
If you recall Christmas Day I had drama when the bathwater was emptying on its own with the bath plug still in the hole, causing the flat below me to flood. So approximately 04.40 hours this morning there was another leak. Now I am no expert but the people my landlord sends half the time are cowboys. I have written some horror stories I have encountered over the last two decades of living here which are well documented as it has caused me no end of emotional distress.
Now because I have OCD I cannot feel the dampness on my carpets, yet I think I have detected what is wrong with my sink pedestal leaking water when one washes one’s hands, The contractor has already gone today and did not spot the suspected problem. Well, at least I have a “Brucey Bonus” I am having new bathroom flooring next week and a new shower door.
The only problem is because I have social disconnection issues I am finding it hard to interact with people physically. The less drama I have in my life the better and the quicker I can heal.
Furthermore, I would prefer, anyone that entered my property to show proof of a lateral flow test. But making waves can land me in hot water as people do not like to be told what to do. I could refuse people entry but what that would cause is animosity for certain.
I will just have to ride the wave and ironically a domain name that I am brokering by coincidence was up for renewal today which I will offer to the “Cardiff Gas Engineers” that are coming next week to check my Combi boilers and Radiators. The domain name www.cardiffgasengineers.co.uk was originally a WordPress site in which I was going to make into a directory of Cardiff Gas Engineers and perhaps a Trustpilot type review site. I still may develop it for my own use, good health permitting. But as it stands I am feeling unwell, do not have my GP support system and because I simply do not have the time to build on this project at present and my health is not too good I have decided to drop the hosting until I find a buyer or my circumstances change.
Of course, I will still do some marketing and SEO to get the domain noticed and even tag the engineers free of charge to give them a free marketing boost.
So today I have not been able to do half the work I had planned because my day was interrupted by the drama that unfolded. Just because I am unwell I cannot stop working or take time off work, no one is going to do the work for me and someone needs to continue turning the cogs.
My headache has subsided, my anxiety has settled and tomorrow is another day.
The way I cope with stress and anxiety is to release all my tension by writing online. If I can write something that not only is educational but with a personal twist I am in fact making my posts original. I find expressing my thoughts to whoever wants to listen is a form of therapy.
This is not my usual post as I was trying to promote a new business specializing in confectionery and initially I thought that it would be apt to promote it as a feel-good factor as I reckon anyone occasionally needs a bit of TLC regardless if there is nothing wrong with them or if they have mental or physical disabilities and most of us have a sweet tooth.
I for one when I am feeling low turn to chocolate as the current medication I am on is a waste of time other than it makes me drowsy just before bed.
The ingredients in Chocolate.
Tryptophan is an amino acid found in small quantities in chocolate and is also the precursor for Serotonin. … However, because chocolate contains tryptophan, the resulting increase in serotonin can help explain why one might feel happier, calmer, or less anxious after eating a piece of their chocolate cake (Serotonin).
Serotonin & Dopamine: The Neurological Benefits of Chocolate
Though chocolate is known for its ability to increase levels of the calming neurotransmitter serotonin, it also contains small amounts of a compound called phenylethylamine, which acts like an amphetamine, stimulating your brain cells to release dopamine.
Personal Experience.
I am currently taking prescribed medication which has serotonin (Mirtazapine 30mg).
In fact, I have only stumbled upon this article by accident: Mirtazapine can cause a life-threatening condition called “Serotonin Syndrome”. Your risk may be higher if you also take other drugs that have similar effects as mirtazapine. These include antidepressants or triptans, such as sumatriptan and zolmitriptan.
So you get prescribed medication to counteract your depression that may lead to suicide, where is the sense in that?
The pharmaceutical industry is a multi-trillion dollar industry and the end-user is basically the guinea pig at the end of the day. To be precise the pharmaceutical industry is responsible for the research, development, production, and distribution of medications. The market has experienced significant growth during the past two decades, and pharma revenues worldwide totaled 1.27 trillion U.S. dollars in 2020.
This drug has a black box warning. This is the most serious warning from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). A black box warning alerts doctors and patients about drug effects that may be dangerous. (My doctor still has not answered a letter that the practice manager read and so did the cluster pharmacist which was sent 25th May 2021, this is negligence at its finest).
Mirtazapine may cause an increase in suicidal thoughts or actions. (I wrote in my letter I was feeling low when I found out my ex-husband had died).This risk is higher in children, teenagers, and young adults. It’s also higher within the first few months of treatment and during dosage changes. You and your family members, caregivers, and doctor should watch for any new or sudden changes in your mood, behaviors, thoughts, or feelings. Call your doctor right away if you notice any of these changes. (I did in May and am still waiting for a response).
As medical professionals, GPs are given a lot of trust by their patients. If you believe that this trust has been breached and your GP has put your health at risk as a result of their negligence, then the law provides a remedy for you to obtain compensation. It is possible for you to sue any doctor who works in an NHS hospital, private practice, or GP surgery. Any Doctor treating you owes you a duty of care, so if that duty was breached and you have suffered as a result, then you may have a claim for compensation.
To think I have been taking this drug for a good number of years not only to help with my OCD and my depression but also to deal with my insomnia as the drug is very sedative and does the trick as I fall asleep within 15 minutes of taking it. In fact, it is so sedative that I feel so lethargic when I wake up and have to resort to energy drinks to keep me awake. You would think that GP’s would let their patients know of any (DANGER HEALTH WARNINGS) from the FDA or EMA.
Not everyone researches about side effects and it does not exactly get advertised on social media channels or in the news.
“It is about time I ween myself off this drug and finds alternative remedies. I am going to stick with chocolate from now on but need to find something else that can help me fall asleep, any suggestions will be welcome”…
Natural Alternative Homeopathic Remedies – Confectionery.
Advertisement.
If you have a sweet tooth and are looking for a way to cheer yourself up or want to buy a gift for a family or friend, why not visit the “Newly Launched Confectionery Shop In Wales”. Anthony is currently Only Shipping UK Mainland.
Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a neurological mental health anxiety disorder where a person may have irrational compulsive and often debilitating recurring thoughts and behaviors that they cannot control.
The main symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder are unpleasant thoughts and repetitive behaviors, which a person cannot control. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is usually treated with therapy and medication.
Different Types of OCD are:
Checking
Contamination / Mental Contamination
Symmetry and ordering
Ruminations / Intrusive Thoughts
Hoarding
Hair Pulling (Trichotillomania)
Self Harming
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)
MY OCD.
For me, I find it difficult to touch things other people have touched before me. I also do not like being touched by anyone, hugs, kisses, shaking hands, and patting on the shoulder back, arm, are all out of the question.
I cannot sit on a chair that someone else has sat on especially in public. I cannot touch door handles.
Since the pandemic, I have not left my home to go out to any public places.
If I have to touch the outer packaging of food for example I use disposable gloves. When I meet and greet couriers and delivery drivers it is with disposable gloves.
“I cannot have anyone touch my personal possessions or contaminate the quarantined area of my home. I cannot bear to be touched”. I cannot stand people standing too close to me and with the Covid Regulations that is a blessing in disguise for me.
I am researching neuroplasticity and hypnosis as this has never been offered to me in the 38 years I have suffered from OCD.
I will use myself as the subject matter (patient). Obviously, my journey is a long one and what I learn will not be overnight but with what I learn I will share to help others like me.
My first experience of personal OCD was when my banker boyfriend’s parents who were middle-classed looked down on me because I came from a working-class and foreign eastern european background and his mother saying and I quote “you can find someone better than my son” when our relationship was breaking down. I remember his mother insisting I ate more and have second helpings in order to fatten me up for the slaughter.
I started to feel if I washed my hands and avoided certain things I could salvage my relationship with my boyfriend. I was afraid I was not pretty, clever, or rich enough for him and his family.
They judged me rather than supported me.
I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and when the relationship ended I started to avoid mentioning his name, this was another OCD trait avoiding certain words or numbers.
What was the icing on the cake which made me realize it was not me it was him was when he invited me over to his house, unaware he was engaged to be married and whilst his fiance was not around and all the engagement cards were on the mantlepiece and he tried to make a sexual move on me and with my head up high I asked him to call a taxi for me and I made sure he never saw me again.
I blame my ex and his family for the start of my OCD somewhat 38 years ago and how I was treated by them all. As life has progressed and more trauma has come into my life the worse my OCD has got to the stage thinking I will never be able to get rid of it…
“Hopefully whilst I do my experiment on myself through self-help therapy I will be able to write a new chapter, I know it will not be an overnight success and I will do it at my own pace without any pressure.”. All I will say is watch this space! I will keep you posted in my online journal.
Below are some thought-provoking videos which I thought maybe useful to someone.
Starving The Monster | Tauscha Johanson | TEDxIdahoFalls
My OCD diary — an imperfect story: Julia Britz at TEDxUNLV
OCD or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a mental health illness whereby the sufferer may have recurring intrusive thoughts and repetitive ritual behaviors that they cannot control.
The main symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder are intrusive thoughts and unnatural repetitive behaviors, which the sufferer finds debilitating. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is usually treated with CBT or Hypnotherapy. Prescribed Medication also may help to relieve some of the symptoms especially if the symptoms are severe.
LIST OFFAMOUS PEOPLE WITH OCD
Leonardo DiCaprio
Leonardo DiCaprio suffers from OCD and says that he allowed his condition to worsen in order to play Howard Hughes in “Aviator.”
His childhood memoriess were to step on cracks in the pavement and if he missed any he would have start all over again,
even as far as a few blocks.
Jessica Alba
“Sin City” star Jessica Alba talked about her OCD in an interview with CosmoGirl stating,
“It was like a panic come over me and I had to do something, and once I did it, I was OK. …
It was really me needing to control something.”
Justin Timberlake
Justin Timberlake suffers from OCD that makes him need everything to be organized perfectly.
He also only allows certain foods in his refrigerator.
Katy Perry
Pop star Katy Perry suffers from OCD and says that she brushes her teeth 4-6 times a day.
Howie Mandel
Howie Mandel has been very open about his OCD. He calls handrails his enemy.
Cameron Diaz
Cameron Diaz’s OCD makes her have a fear of germs.
David Beckham
Soccer great David Beckham has admitted to struggling with OCD saying that he has to reorganize hotel rooms in order to feel comfortable.
Charlize Theron
“Young Adult” star Charlize Theron says that her OCD keeps her up at nights worrying about messy cabinets and closets.
Albert Einstein
Historians believe that Albert Einstein suffered from OCD, as do many individuals with very high levels of intelligence.
Penélope Cruz
“Vanilla Sky” actress Penelope Cruz is said to suffer from OCD.
Charlie Sheen
Charlie Sheen has OCD and needs things to be in order. He told Dr. Oz that his OCD even propelled him to fix a strangers shirt collar at a restaurant.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
“Client List” star Jennifer Love Hewitt thinks the she inherited her OCD from her mother.
Alec Baldwin
Alec Baldwin self diagnosed his OCD. Baldwin spoke of the frustrating nature of his condition stating,
“The thing is, you always feel the need to do it, mostly when there’s something at stake. Like,
I will literally be leaving my apartment in New York and I’ve got to go to the airport.
The worst possible time is when the bell rings loudest. A voice will say to me, ‘Move the snowglobe to the right three inches.”
Michael Jackson
Michael Jackson had Body Dismorphic Disorder which is similar to OCD.
Rose McGowan
“Planet Terror” star Rose McGowan suffers from OCD related to agoraphobia.
Harrison Ford
“Star Wars” star Harrison Ford says that his OCD is related to his fear of spiders and reptiles.
Donald Trump
Donald Trump says that his OCD prevents him from shaking hands with people.
(Which is Fake News in my opinion as I have seen him shake hands).
Martin Scorsese
Director Martin Scorsese suffers from OCD and he explored the depths of the condition in his film “The Aviator.”
Roseanne Barr
Roseanne Barr has struggled with OCD and she talked about her experience with Larry King.
Howard Stern
Howard Stern’s OCD developed as a defense mechanism when he was first starting out.
Stern stated, “When I was in college and nervous about entering the world of broadcasting and earning a living, the pressure was enormous. …
As a defense mechanism, my brain had set up an elaborate maze of rituals that kept me from confronting my fear.”
Woody Allen
Film maker Woody Allen has OCD and the main subject that he obsesses about is death.
Nikola Tesla
Historians believe that Nikola Tesla suffered from OCD in his later years.
Fiona Apple
Fiona Apple suffers from OCD and she calls it a problem that can destroy your life.
Dan Aykroyd
“Blues Brothers” star Dan Aykroyd suffers from Tourettes, Aspergers and OCD.
Charles Darwin
Researches believe that Charles Darwin most likely suffered from OCD.
Stanley Kubrick
“A Clockwork Orange” director Stanley Kubrick is thought to have had OCD because of the way that he would shoot an excessive amount of takes when filming his movies.
Kathie Lee Gifford
Talk show host Kathie Lee Gifford is thought to have OCD.
Billy Bob Thornton
“Sling Blade” star Billy Bob Thornton calls suffering from OCD exhausting.
Marc Summers
TV show host Marc Summers suffers with OCD. Who knows how Summers managed to deal with all of the slimy messes on his Nickelodeon show “Double Dare.”
Cole Porter
People speculate that composer Cole Porter most likely suffered from OCD.
Michelangelo
Historians believe that Michelangelo suffered from OCD.
Ludwig van Beethoven
Researchers believe that Ludwig van Beethoven displayed many symptoms of OCD.
Howard Hughes
Entrepreneur and film maker Howard Hughes suffered for OCD and used to obsess over the size of peas.
Later in his life, Hughes became a recluse and continuously watched movies.
Samuel Johnson
Historians believe that Samuel Johnson likely suffered from OCD.
Stonewall Jackson
Researchers find that Stonewall Jackson demonstrated many of the symptoms of OCD.
Jeremy Kyle
Talk show host Jeremy Kyle suffers from OCD.
Warren Zevon
“Werewolves of London” songwriter Warren Zevon suffered from OCD.
He developed a friendship with fellow OCD sufferer Billy Bob Thorton later in his life.
Charles Dickens
Historians believe that “A Christmas Carol” author Charles Dickens likely suffered from OCD.
Marcel Proust
Historians believe that Marcel Proust suffered from OCD.
Fred Durst
Limp Biscuit front man Fred Durst says that suffering from OCD makes touring really tough.
Gerald Kaufman
Gerald Kaufman has self-diagnosed his OCD.
Joey Ramone
Joey Ramone had a severe case of OCD and low self-esteem.
John Melendez
John Melendez, better known as “Stuttering John,” suffers from OCD, just like his good friend and boss Howard Stern.
Natalie Appleton
Pop singer Natalie Appleton suffers from a mild case of OCD.
Jane Horrocks
British actress/musician Jane Horrocks has been diagnosed with OCD.
Steven Gerrard
Soccer star Steven Gerrard’s OCD manifests itself as constant hand washing.
Emily Lloyd
British actress Emily Lloyd has gotten treatment for OCD and she blames the disorder for stalling her career.
Paul Gascoigne
Soccer star Paul Gascoigne suffers from OCD as well as other mental illnesses.
Tim Howard
Soccer player Tim Howard had a tough time in school coping with his OCD.
Ian Puleston-Davies
Actor Ian Puleston-Davies has OCD and a fear of germs.
Jim Eisenreich
Baseball player Jim Eisenreich was diagnosed with Tourettes and OCD.
Volkert van der Graaf
Murderer Volkert van der Graaf has been diagnosed with OCD and Aspergers.
I am a strong believer in never knock it until you have tried it, meaning see if it works before making assumptions or criticizing, and if the CIA (Gateway Process or Project Stargate) has been doing it for over 20 years there has to be something in it. Accessing your subconscious mind and re-wiring your thoughts can benefit our lives, especially if we get stuck with repetitive thoughts that we cannot shift.
I wish in the 30 years I have suffered from OCD, depression, anxiety, stress, and PTSD that my GPs which I have had a few, could have suggested hypnosis.
It is not for me to tell them to do their jobs but no one ever suggested it and like a good little soldier I went on my merry way without questioning it or bringing it up in conversation. It was only by chance I came across some videos through social media did I really start thinking about a way to help myself. If I can find a way of not being dependant on prescribed drugs for the rest of my life, then I obviously have to give it a go.
I think as I am getting older I am getting a little wiser and have decided to explore neuroplasticity and brain training.
I have just started the art of self-hypnosis and have found a braining training motivational speaker ‘Jake Ducey’as well as the Monroe Institute. I have subscribed to Jakes’s Facebook videos and am on his mailing list. I have found the information he gives is valuable, which I am now implementing into my own life.
For years I have been programmed to think that I was not good enough, that I was a failure, I would not amount to much or have nice things. I was criticized, judged, humiliated, and belittled. I started believing everything anyone said to me.
The emphasis of this multiplied when I got involved with a narcissist that created negative energy and made my life toxic. I knew things had to change and I feel like the world has lifted off my shoulders since he has been gone.
The day I flipped the switch and said enough is enough was the day I started to think differently. Every time anyone would say something derogatory I would have an out-of-body experience. If they were directing their opinions and their judgments at my body, I immediately became numb with a hardened exterior and my body has always felt as it is a vessel and it is protecting what is my inner soul. I felt like they could do what they wanted to my body but they would never get to my soul (sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me).
Everyone is entitled to their opinion but their opinion is not my belief. They could think what they wanted about me, it was now water off a duck’s back and not significant to me. I have always thought treat people like you would wish to be treated.
I started standing up to my fears and thought “what was the best that can happen to me”, rather than my worst? I turned my negative thoughts into good thoughts and started thinking differently. I started making goals.
Where just over a decade ago I had no direction in the last few years I have started to focus. I have set goals and I know what I want but never found a way to manifest what I wanted until now.
I am paving a path. People’s perceptions and opinions of me no longer matter, I am now in control.
In my lifetime I have come across, some very cruel, rude monstrous people that have had this self-opinionated, self-entitled persona about them that they think they are better than you. I have had people with sarcastic, patronizing, opinionated attitudes try and tell me what to do or who have looked down at me and I now rise above it all, as it is only their opinion and who are they at the end of the day?
I have learned if someone is trying to hurt you, end the conversation and block them. I do not play fire with fire, if someone has an evil tongue, I bite mine. Remember silence speaks a thousand words and the universe will pay them back.
Obviously, I have a long way to go to heal as this is only the start of my journey.
Self-help therapy.
I have now started to delve into brain training and mind control(Neuroplasticity) and will publish my progress over the next few months. I will start a 30-day social experiment on myself starting today 30/05/21 where I will use self-hypnosis and the eye roll technique as well as listening to “Jakes audio” and will document my findings on a daily basis which I will publish at the end of next month.
My goal is to try and stabilize my OCD, my depression, my stress, my anxiety, and my PTSD. Because of all the grief, I have endured over the years, I need to brainwash the mind of my memories. I also want to change my ultimate thinking process to manifest what I want.
Apparantly you need to practice the eye roll technique as in the pdf below:
Once you have mastered the eye roll technique you should find a quiet space to meditate and play the following audio:
You should also watch some of “Jake Ducey’s” motivational videos, which I have added open below , especially if you are going through a difficult period in your life and you are surrounded by negative or toxic people.You too also need to retrain your brain and your thought process and try these relaxation and thought-provoking techniques.
Do check out “Jake Ducey’s” website and start re-training your brain. Jake has been featured on FOX, TEDx, Entrepreneur, HuffPost, and INC, and Penguin Random House. He is a force to be reckoned with: https://jakeducey.com/
” IAM A POWERFUL CREATOR, I AM POWERFUL BEING MY THOUGHTS CREATE REALITY”
How To NEVER Get Angry or Upset AGAIN
3 Ways to MANIFEST WHILE SLEEPING & Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind
Shocking Law of Attraction SLEEP TECHNIQUE For Attracting What You Want
SAY THIS TO MANIFEST ANYTHING YOU WANT FAST
SAY THIS BLESSING TO MANIFEST ANYTHING
MONEY SPELL CHANT TO MANIFEST MORE MONEY NOW
The LAW of ATTRACTION and What NOBODY Tells You. VERY POWERFUL!!!
Bob Proctor: The Law of Attraction And What Nobody Tells You!! (Must Watch!)
Believe it or not, The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and the United States Government have been using mind control and the laws of attraction for years.
The CIA technique dubbed the Gateway Experience was essentially described as a training system to bring enhanced strength, focus, and coherence to the amplitude and frequency of brainwave outputs patterns, according to the CIA report, ranged from converting energy to heal one’s body to traveling across space and time to learn and access new information. The CIA approved testing for this under the eyes of US Army Lieutenant Colonel Wayne M McDonnell. The project was classified by the CIA until 2003. McDonnell was commissioned to work on the Gateway Experience in the 1980s at a time in US history when the nation was taking a deep interest in different varieties of psychic research.
Project MKUltra (or MK-Ultra) is the code name given to a program of experiments on human subjects that were designed and undertaken by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), some of which were illegal. Experiments on humans were intended to develop procedures and identify drugs such as LSD to be used in interrogations in order to weaken the individual and force confessions through brainwashing and psychological torture. The project was organized through the Office of Scientific Intelligence of the CIA and coordinated with the United States Army Biological Warfare Laboratories. Other code names for drug-related experiments were Project Bluebird and Project Artichoke.
Investigative efforts were halted by CIA Director Richard Helms’s who ordered that all MKUltra files be destroyed in 1973; the Church Committee and Rockefeller Commission investigations relied on the sworn testimony of direct participants and on the relatively small number of documents that survived Helms’s destruction order. In 1977, a Freedom of Information Act requests uncovered a cache of 20,000 documents relating to project MKUltra which led to Senate hearings later that year.
Some surviving information regarding MKUltra was declassified in July 2001. In December 2018, declassified documents included a letter to an unidentified doctor discussing work on six dogs made to run, turn and stop via remote control and brain implants.
The above document “Analysis and Assessment of Gateway Process”, that also Jake refers to is downloadable, it is available through the following link below: https://jakeducey.com/CIA/
This makes me believe there is a way to manipulate one’s mind using hypnosis and Neuroplasticity tDCs.
Alternatively, if you cannot download the document for some reason, then drop us a line.
Further Reading:
According to the Hebbian theory(Hebbs Law) is a neuroscientific theory claiming that an increase in synaptic efficacy arises from a presynaptic cell’s repeated and persistent stimulation of a postsynaptic cell. It is an attempt to explain synaptic plasticity, the adaptation of brain neurons during the learning process. It was introduced by Donald Hebb in his 1949 book The Organization of Behavior. The theory is also called Hebb’s rule, Hebb’s postulate, and cell assembly theory. Hebb states it as follows:
Let us just think that the persistence or repetition of a reverberatory activity (or “trace”) tends to induce lasting cellular changes that add to its stability. … When an axon of cell A is near enough to excite a cell B and repea cells firing B, is increased.
New technology has found our brains continue to rewire themselves and never stops changing as we age. The term neuroplasticity can now make it possible to repair our damaged brains.
We have 86 Billion Neurons & Nerve Cells in our Brains, so we need to be able to control how we use them.
Imagine stimulating the brain to stop us feeling physical and mental pain or help us our bodily functions due to some sort of brain damage which has caused us to become physically disabled.
Imagine having mental health or neurological problem such as OCD and having the possibility to re-wire the circuits to stop you from having intrusive thoughts, anxiety, stress, depression, and PTSD, or physical disabilities.
Imagine being able to fix the issues and go back to running a normal life.
Believe it or not, is no longer science fiction it is real and it can be done through wearable non-evasive (TDCS) Transcranial direct current stimulation. What this means is the brain gets painless low intensity direct electrical currents stimulation treatment. A constant current flow is passed through two electrodes placed over the head which modulates neuronal activity.
CEOs are starting to use the technology to supercharge their brains to be able to memorize things better and to fine-tune their knowledge. As with all trending technology many high-flying executives are jumping at the chance of grabbing these devices. At the SHA Wellness Clinic on the southern coast of Spain, business leaders and high-powered diplomats take the opportunity to unwind and relax with healthy food, spa treatments, and brain zapping. “They’re decision-makers and people who have very stressful lives and are aware that they need to reset themselves,” says SHA vice president Alejandro Bataller. “They come to learn more about themselves so they can enjoy optimal vitality and brain activity, and therefore productivity.”
Obviously, as with anything hi-tech, there are concerns about the effectiveness of tDCS, with fears that in the wrong hand, people could do themselves long-term damage with unlicensed or homemade devices. According to Vincent Walsh, a cognitive neuroscientist at University College London stated that “The field, in general, is plagued by low-quality research and publication bias,” Experiments have had small numbers and poor controls that don’t do a good job of eliminating placebo effects. “When we look at tDCS, people have jumped the gun, they have made claims to sell these things to people that are not based on the literature”.
It is debatable if sending electrical currents to the neurons in the brain, makes them more or less likely to fire and creating the desired effects.
Editors Notes.
“If I had the opportunity to have the treatment with a safe no-evasive wearable device, I would certainly give it a try”.
“My OCD consumes my life and if I thought that using this device could help with OCD, Depression, Anxiety & PTSD I would jump at the chance to give it a go, obviously, I would wait until after all clinical trials were completed and approved by the MHRA and FDA”.
I have watched some videos which I will add at the end, which I hope will give you a better understanding of the possibilities to help with mental health being and physical disabilities.
However ‘Vincent Walsh’ is concerned about the biased published data not actually showing the negative outcome if any from this treatment. He is worried that only positive results are being published.
In 2014, psychologist Nick Davis at the University of Swansea published a paper calling for “extreme caution” in using tDCS and highlighting a number of problems, including a lack of knowledge about long-term side-effects, a lack of clear dosing guidelines, and a dearth of research about how tDCS might impact children.
Editors Notes.
“Obviously, I am all for trying something new and there is already a range of devices one can purchase, but I am personally concerned how effective they are considering how much money you initially need to buy of these things and what adverse reactions can come from using these things”.
Before searching the internet I will throw caution in the wind as some devices may be available to buy but may pose a risk to your health especially if they have not been clinically proven and do not have the CE stamp which would mean they do not have a license.
The trending high tech medical device on the market is theFlow Neuroscience headset made by a Swedish Company, which was launched last year and has CE approval in the EU and in the UK which means it can be sold as a medical device for the treatment of depression and is being sold in the UK and Sweden. The device is attached to two points on the forehead.
The co-founder Daniel Mansson, a clinical psychologist believes that other devices on the market cannot treat depression.
Flow aims to provide a pharmaceutical-free treatment for long-term depression, which is, in some cases, associated with lower neural activity in the left frontal lobe. The company secured a £1.2m investment from private equity firm Khosla Ventures to fund clinical studies and support a rollout in the UK and EU.
A note on the Flow website warns that it should only be used by people with a medical diagnosis of depression, but no prescription is required to purchase the hefty price tag of £399 per headset. There is no guarantee that it will work 100% for everyone, which would make me think twice before buying it.
The EU has a new regulation that came into force in May 2020 which will ban the sale of wearable devices that haven’t gone through the CE marking process.
However, Vincent Walsh argues that although devices being CE approved does not prove that the product isn’t dangerous, it’s not equivalent to NICE or FDA approval.
‘Vincent Walsh’ accuses ‘Flow Neuroscience’ the company of being biased and cherry-picking from the publication to show only the positive side of the product is effective at treating depression, ignoring more measured and negative randomized control trials and meta-analyses, as well as “individual differences, treatment resistance and depth of depression”.
Would I try it if it was available on the NHS or if the company sent it to me to try and review, possibly, but I would want to know all the adverse effects and see other peoples experiences and make sure that putting a contraption on my head would not fry my brain? I think I would have to wait until it was FDA approved before trying it out.
Flow is working towards FDA approval in the US and is starting talks with the NHS to make the headset available on prescription.
This will not stop perfectly healthy people from being attracted to the brain zapping device.
There are other ways of retraining your brain without a drastic measure of sending electrical currents to your brain or drilling holes.
Would I try the Neuralink if it was offered to me, well for the right price with certain conditions that I was able to secure my daughter’s future should something bad happen to me, then maybe I would consider it. If it meant that I would be helping other people with mental health and neurological conditions like myself then at least I would be remembered for that.
Non-evasive therapy.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a form of treatment for people with mental health disorders. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a psycho-social intervention that helps to improve mental health. CBT focuses on challenging tasks and changing cognitive distortions and behaviors, improving emotional regulation, and developing personal coping strategies that target solving current problems.
“From what I have learned over the years your mind has to be in the right place you must be at peace with yourself and your demons”.
For years I have struggled with mental health issues mostly as adirect consequence of grief. I have tried cognitive behavioral therapy and found it to be non-effective. I also had a therapist but found talking about remembering things I wanted to forget, not effective either.
I never tried hypnosis and have been curious about its effectiveness. I have seen how patients terrified of flying or spiders were cured using this technique, however, I believe I have fallen between the gaps for the NHS to help me.
In fact, I sent a very private and confidential letter to my GP today and had an autoresponder message to redirect my inquiry to the practice manager.
What happened to data protection and privacy?
I find medication helps to a certain degree, especially with my sleeping, and does keep me from staying calm most of the time, keeping myself busy is also a factor in managing my disability. My mind is always active and I never run out of ideas of doing something new and I can never say I am bored.
Here Are SomeSteps to Retrain Your Brain.
Accept your thoughts and obstacles. Admit to yourself what is troubling you, face your fears.
Make a plan for how you will tackle the obstacles and turn your negative thoughts into positives ones.
Organize your day, keep a planner or diary/journal of things to do.
Admit to yourself what triggers you.
Set a plan to move forward, write done what you want to achieve and set goals, create a personal mantra.
Be thankful for what you have got and be kind to people. Practice daily gratitude.
Help other people, helping others by empowering and motivation will make you a leader. Pay it back.
Find mentors or read books on successful people and network with people that inspire you.
Create a Dream board and visualize what you want from life, practice the law of attraction.
Meditate.
Exercise.
Eat Healthily (your body is your temple, treat it with respect).
Keep yourself busy.
Do crosswords and puzzles.
Write down your thoughts, this could be a diary or online journal.
Write a book.
Start a business.
Appreciate your surroundings and Nature.
Be creative, build lego or Airfix models, try art painting with watercolor, oils, and acrylics.
Make a sculpture.
Invent something.
Code Computer Games.
Learn a Language.
Learn a New Skill.
Get a qualification. It is never too late to learn.
Train as an athlete.
Become a Coach and do public speaking.
Make a legacy so that people can remember you.
Brain train by reading books.
Brain train by playing video games, app games, or play chess.
I have also updated the Disclaimer Page & added a Networking Page under the heading Legal Pages, this is to let viewers know that the owner of this site uses a SEO Link Wheels to generate traffic and that all the Websites and Blogs are all under one umbrella belonging to Renata M Barnes (UK Website Designers) You will see the credit in the footer of all the websites I own and also manage for other clients.
Moving on I have also started to intergrate video marketing into my services. This is a useful tool to attract business and I am now offering it to my clients. You can view a the portfolio of Videos here.
As for my health it is starting to deteriorate as the pressures and daily stresses of life can sometimes be overwhelming. I am fighting hard for it not to beat me but when my own health professionals are working against me rather than for me it can be too much to bear…….I will explain.
Not only am I disabled I also have a disabled daughter that I am officially a carer for, so when I see red flags I tend to question things as in the case of my GP who threatens you if you make waves. Read the latest on this Surgery that has brought me to breaking point: https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/category/bayer-pharmaceutical/ All I was doing was voicing my concerns as my daughter is classed as a vulnerable person and I was told I lack respect to the highly qualified pharmacist and clinician at the surgery and was told that seeing there is a breakdown of doctor/patient relationship it would be in my best interest to find another surgery.
“I am really struggling with my health and have developed social disconnection disorderand have a fear of venturing out. The less face to face human interaction I have, the happier I feel”. I have been hurt too many times to care to mention and the people I trusted the most betrayed me. In my lifetime I have experienced discrimination, racial attacks, have been abused physically and mentally and have been physically assaulted, disrespected, undermined, critised, judged, belittled, robbed, have felt sadness, dispair and dealt with grief. All these things are contributing factors to my mental disability, which has been caused by other people and entities.There is no denying my mental health is due to a domino effect caused by direct consequences to other peoples actions.
My Richter Mental Health Scale.
It is because of certain individuals and certain events that I am this way. I am 58 yrs old and have met my fair share of people over the years and I can count on my one hand how many people I can trust. I can also name each and every single person and entity responsible for my ill health and the reasons why.
Some cope by turning to drinking alcohol or taking recreational drugs. People smoke cigarettes claiming it calms their nerves, I do not smoke cigarettes, do not drink alcohol or take recreational drugs but depend on the prescription medication that are prescribed for me. Everyone has different ways with coping with stress, trauma and life events, mine is documenting everything (therapeutic) and adapting around my disabilities aswell as trying to help others.
Anaphylaxis Allergy.
I also cancelled my Covid-19 Vaccine appointment as I have a severe anaphylaxis allergy to PEG where I was vaccinated with steriod in the past which had polythylene glycol in fact over the years I have had many anaphlaxis allergies including severe breathing difficulties from penicillin and severe skin allergy where my face looked reptilian and I was in excrutiating pain, all of which is on my medical records. https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2021/03/19/polyethylene-glycol-peg-allergy-as-a-cause-of-anaphylaxis/ I am not prepared to take any risks with my life or become more ill than I already am. At least with my OCD, Depression I can manage my life to a certain degree and can work around my disabilities. But being off work fully is inconceivable and is something I cannot do as I have obligations to my clients.
I have to be online every single day, imagine being too ill to work what would happen to your business if you had no one to help you? Your clients are not going to say “ok call us when you feel better”, the food chain still has to carry on. I have heard the second vaccine is worse the the first but I am waiting on herd immunity to kick in as I do not plan venturing out any time soon.
I would not describe myself as a hypochondriac as all my disabilities are medically documented. I try not to think about illnesses unless it is affecting me directly and at any given time. I try to actually block out my disabilities and try to live a relatively normal life to a certain degree (although there is nothing normal about me). The world on the internet is not going to know about my disabilities unless they bother to do some research about me, so me sitting in front of a computer screen I am as normal as the next person.
I cannot be critised for having no empathy. I will help people in need but will never make it personal. If someone needs me to lend them my ear or a shoulder I will try and help.
To be frank I have coped better than most during the Covid-19 Lockdown. My business has improved as people have turned to the internet for a second income stream. Where I had issues about people bumping into you and not looking where they where going in the past, it is as if the heavens have opened up and had everyone stay 2 metres apart (not that I go out anywhere though).
Wearing disposable latex gloves is no longer questionable and I do not feel the odd one out anymore.
I do miss going out once a month with my daughter when she and I used to go up to the hospital for her to have her monthly blood done and then we would go to a restaurant in the city centre. I won’t say I will never go again as they say “never say never”, but it is going to take me a long time to adjust to the new surroundings and facing people at the moment is really causing me distress. I am fine with the grocery and courier drivers but that is as far as I am willing to interact physically with other people other than my family.
“I do have a goal and that is to make enough money for me to retire comfortably and for my daughter to have a head start in life. My priority is my family and my business and nothing else”.
I won’t let this general practice surgery beat me. I have a long list of people I can complain to.
Coping With Mental Health in General.
Take time out to have some TLC. Do something that will make you happy and relaxed. Try to occupy you mond with something else other than what is worrying you.
If you work for a company see if they have an HR department that deals with mental health. If not suggest that they do have a department and volunteer to be a spokesperson, you will no longer be seen as a follower and more so as a leader. Every business no matter how big or small should have some sort of department to air your worries and anxieties and perhaps meet up once a week to just chat. However if you find that there is no such option and you have had no alternative to tell your employer, he/she has a responsibility under Equalities Act to be obliging and to accommodate you and your condition if it is considered a long term affliction. You may not be the only one that is suffering so considering starting a club even after work can make all the difference.
Stay focused it is easy to just to clock watch until the hour hand hits 5 o’clock but that does not help you or your employer hence you need to set goals and try to make some progress on a daily basis. You should concentrate on the work in hand but at the same time consider starting a second income stream and do research and learn. Reading helps people to stay motivated and empowers them to learn a new skill. This skill could help your employer or can help you to break away and go it alone.
Do not over critisie yourself, if things are not going your way, tomorrow is another day. Accepting the fact that we all experience good days and bad days is just a way of life and we need to learn to overcome obstacles that come our way. For me venting my anxiety, anger and frustration online is therapeutical. I know some one will read it and will relate. I also think that what I write could actually help someone other than myself.
The impact of problems such as depression and anxiety are unique and individual to each and every one of us and how we cope with them and different situations of life is equally as individual. Above I have merely mentioned some advice on dealing with issues of mental health in the workplace, but speaking to your GP and building a network of support are arguably the most important steps you can take in your recovery. For me I personally will not be relating my anxieties any time soon to my GP if I still have one, as it is practice management that you tell the reception first what is wrong with you, what ever happend to GDPR and not sharing the information with anyone other than your doctor. According to an inspection report that I downloaded on another post I made https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2021/03/30/gp-surgeries-are-small-businesses/ the receptionists have to sign a non disclosure agreement. This is hog wash if they wish to talk about you without actually mentioning you name.
Super Power.
Disabled Entrepreneur Super Power!
Just because I have a mental health disability does not make me less of a person. My disability does not define me and make me less intelligent, in fact on the contrary my disability is my ‘Super Power’ and although it comes with challenges it gives me strength and purpose to carry on and help motivate and empower others that having a disability is not the end of the world and you can still achieve your aspirationsand all you need is a gentle push.Never let some tell you it cannot be done or it is impossible for you to achieve, listen to your heart and not what others tell you. Do not listen to naysayers.
My Super Power is everytime anyone disrespects me, tries to undermined me or do other atrocities I will write about them. Anyone throwing obstactles in my way, making my life difficult or miserable, I will document. Everytime anyone tries to do anything to hurt me I will hit the keyboard. The same goes if I see anyone being treated unfairly, the perpetrator will feel my Super Power.
Whats your super power? Mine is exercising my journalist skills!
Reaching Out.
If you want to talk to just drop me a line, I am happy to chat to you online or send emails. Although I do not do face to face meetings I am happy to help anyone who is feeling distressed. Just because I have difficulty interacting physically does not mean I have a problem interacting virtually. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved. If you have a network of people you can rely on then that is fine, but if you don’t there are many organisation out there that can help and I also can lend an ear or shoulder to cry on or send virtual hugs.
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