Natalya Platonova – Serving British Soldier, Talks About Mental Health & Fundraising.
Natalya Platonva – Honors & awards – The Commander Field Army Commendation Jan 2020 for outstanding service to the British Army.
On Sunday 8th May 2022 I will be embarking on a 185km trek from Oxford to Buckingham Palace along the Thames path. I will be cuffed to a 3kg medicine ball the whole way. Why? Because this medicine ball signifies the silent weight, torment, and suffering of mental illness that so many of us carry on our own. I will walk on behalf of everyone who is struggling and cannot find their voice to talk through distressing emotions.
This Christmas I too did not have a voice, I too felt like I could not speak and I came to the conclusion that the best way forward for me was to end my life. What brought me back from that dark period was finding the confidence to talk and confide in loved ones about how I was feeling. It is incredibly difficult to let go of that burden without feeling like you will pass it on to someone else. So we lock it away and suffer in silence. There is still a massive stigma in regards to mental wellness. I want to help break that stigma with every mile I cover. I won’t be approached by strangers whilst I walk and for that curiosity to turn into honest conversations. Remember, someone’s smile could be masking something else beneath the surface.
If this resonates with you, please donate, support, and share this far and wide. Thank you 🙏🏼
I need to share this to get it off my chest, yet I prefer to stay anonymous.
I am self-employed and disabled. I have lost a couple of good-paying clients in the last couple of months.
I am getting housing benefits, working tax credits, and pip and have only a few clients that pay me but not enough so that I can live on, the money I get from my business just about covers my outgoings for my business. I was showing a loss last year on my tax return.
My Incoming Per Month:
£590 Housing Benefit
£400 Working Tax Credits
£240 Personal Independence Payment
My OutgoingsPer Month:
£181 Utility Bills
£80 Telephone & Broadband (Without Broadband I cannot work)
£165 Debt Repayment/Loans
Total Per Month £1372
This means I am short by £142 per month not to include new credit cards I have taken out a further £100 repayments. Ideally, if I could make another £500 per month I would be in the clear.
I am trying every which way I can to get more business in and with only four clients on my books, I am struggling.
I know what I do works but it is convincing the tyre kickers that is the problem. Believe me there any many tyre kickers and scavengers about, simply trying to get as much information out of you for free and then going cold on you. I once contacted a whole suburb that only had Facebook pages and not one of them came back to me even though my prices are cheap, but not that cheap that people think it is too good to be true. So I know it’s not me but society in general not wanting to spend.
I need someone to help me. I do not need pep talks I just want to get out of the financial dilemma that I am in. I do not need a friend, I do not need a counselor, I just need more work.
I am fed up with having the same heartache day in and day out.
I am feeling very low right now and fighting my hardest to keep my thoughts at bay.
I have no one that can help me, believe me, I have tried reaching out to my family and they won’t help me. I have asked them to share my business on social media, it is not as if I was asking them for money and it went on deaf ears.
They are just waiting for me to fail, just so that they can say “see I told you so”. Anyone that says they are supporting me or have supported me needs to put their money where their mouth is because otherwise, they are full of 💩. I have not been well for some time now and as the month’s progress so does my depression.
Sympathy – Asking For a Period of Grace.
I emailed the electricity company (EON Next) yesterday 15/04/22 that I would be late paying my £34 (they never had a problem during Covid Lockdown).
It is not that I have defaulted yet at the time this gets published and was told that my account has gone to a debt collection agency. I tried phoning them today but conveniently they only operate Mon-Fri, which is causing me so much anxiety as I now have to wait until Tuesday after the Bank Holiday to contact them.
Even looking at my account I am in debt by – £22.84 so is there any need to be so “God Damn Dramatic” as this person has been to make me feel like 💩?
I hope their fate is worse than mine; so that they can experience depression firsthand like I am feeling.
The person that replied to my email was Anisah Hussain (E.ON Next)
I hope this person reaps what they sowand that goes for any corporation or person in charge reading this.
I am feeling extremely anxious right now and I can feel my heart racing really fast. My stomach well let’s just say I am running to the toilet every few mins.
Nobody should be put in the position to make them unwell or even worse than what they were already feeling.
I do not own anything other than my laptop and my phone which I use for work as I was robbed a few years ago and anything of value was stolen, hence there is nothing anyone can take from me.
I feel so low right now and not sure what to do. My GP is totally useless although I am on medication there is little more they can do for me, to top it all I have a very sick child I am caring for and I am worried about her well being, mental and physical state, so pushing my buttons is only making things worse and causing more anxiety and distress.
You cannot get blood out of a stone!
“I am at the lowest I have been for a long time and it only takes one person to push me over the edge”.
I am not crazy and I do not need to be locked up, I am just feeling really low.
I am not feeling suicidal I am just feeling extremely unhappy right now and I do not want to have any worries. I want people to be understanding and not critical of me or superior to me. I want people to support me.
This email I received just shows that people do not care unless it relates directly to them. I just want to be happy for a change and not have to worry about anything. I want to live a happy carefree life.
Considering they, in theory, were closed yesterday I did get an email from the same agent in relation to my reply and I assume the person is a (she) asked when is a convenient time for her to call me. Why does anyone need to speak to me, do they not understand written English…I replied I would be paying on the 9th of May 2022.
However, my gut feeling told me to phone them today and this is how it played out.
Phone Call No 1. I spoke to an agent that put me on hold and we get cut off
Phone Call No 2. I spoke to a different person who spoke to me as if she was talking to a first-grader. She spoke to me as if she owned the company and kept saying I have never paid my payments on time, blatantly scolding me before putting the phone down on me. She said I did not have a payment plan in place. So what are all my £34 per month payments then?
Phone Call No 3. I told the person I would be paying on the 9th of May 2022 and he said he would put it on the system and I would get a confirmation email, which never transpired.
Two things spring to mind:
What’s the effect of or the intention behind the harassment?
The Equality Act says it’s harassment where the behavior is meant to or has the effect of either:
violating your dignity (I felt like I was a nobody with no self worth)
creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment (the agent spoke to me in a way like she was disciplining a child or someone of no importance).
This means it’s harassment even if the person harassing you didn’t mean to offend or intimidate you, as long as the harassment has one of the above effects.
If you go to court, the judge may have to decide if it’s harassment or not. They will look at how the behavior made you feel and whether it’s reasonable for you to feel this way.
The fact is all I owe is £22.84 and they are making a big deal about it. I was spoken to as if I was something someone had stepped in, which is downright disgraceful.
The Damage Has Been Done!
The problem is because people are working from home they will not necessarily have the calls recorded and they literally can speak to you like sh#t, hence I will never be able to prove that the woman I spoke to on my second call spoke to me like I was a nobody. I hope karma pays her a visit and her husband/partner cheats on her or she has a similar fate to what I am going through.
Who the hell did the woman I spoke to think she was talking to? I am not a piece of sh#t to be spoken to this way…
And you wonder why I hate life? when I have to contend with people like this woman this afternoon and then the man that blatantly lied to me about sending me a confirmation email.
I pay on the 20th of the month at £34 a month or adjust my bill so that I pay once a month to include my arrears, which I can pay on the 20th but at a slightly higher charge. It is not exactly rocket science.
I have purposely published this as evidence and compensation for emotional distress which far outweighs the cost of my electricity bill should it ever go down that route, do not tempt me.
Feeling Suicidal is when a person is in a very dark place metaphorically speaking when they have lost the will to live and they see no other way of escaping from the nightmare they are in.
The rise in suicides likely to be linked to austerity – but the story behind each suicide is complex.
When a person has lost all hope and the will to live they cannot see anything else other than dying. They believe that once they die their nightmare will be over and they will not feel anguish, sadness, loneliness, or despair. They do believe the grass is greener on the other side but is it though?.. Some people believe if you commit suicide you go to hell. So if life feels like hell right now, the real hell will be far worse.
When a person falls into this state of feeling hopeless when nothing is working out fine for them and no one understands them or cares or bothers with them it is understandable they may sink deeper into the abyss.
Most of our depression is fueled by fear, loss, and grief. “Disabled Entrepreneur UK” covers all topics in all categories (I have linked some of the topics in this article).
There are many factors that can cause a person to feel so low:
They feel like a failure, they have nothing to show for their life, they fear failure.
They have lost their job.
They have lost their home, through evicition or natual disaster, divorce, seperation or money problems such as bankruptcy or not being able to keep up with the mortgage payments.
They have lost their family through death or family fued.
They have or are going through a divorce and are losing their home, their children and their money.
They have been robbed.
Their business is going under.
They have lost their life partner, through seperation, or death.
They have lost their child through miscarrage, illness or accidental death.
They are discriminated, humiliated or made a mockery of. They have people or institutes that judge them.
The have financial burdens that if their money was taken away how would they cope (benefits).
They feel no one cares or understands them and every time they reach out people do not take them seriously.
They are stuck in a physically and mentally abusive relationship.
They are being bullied in school or in the workplace.
Harrassment because of sexual orientation, religion, skin colour, beliefs, ethnicity.
They have no friends.
They feel lonely.
They feel the world has turned against them.
Their family and friends have turned against them because or their sexual orientation, religion or beliefs.
They are the abuser in a domstic viilent relationship and have they gone too far with their actions and feel worried they will get caught.
Many adults will experience feelings of hopelessness or suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives.
This could be because they do not have a close support network that understands them (friends/family/co-workers) and they may feel embarrassed to reach anyone in their network for the fear of being laughed at or for the worries they have to be brushed under the carpet so to speak.
SIGNSTO LOOK OUT FOR.
Crying For No Reason.
Hating Everything and Everyone.
Talking about Death or Suicide.
“If you are feeling suicidal, the most important thing is to talk to someone“.
“If authoritarian institutions try to judge or discriminate against a person for their mental health, remind them no one is perfect and everyone could be in the same shoes as a suicidal person one day feeling life is not worth living”.
When you feel sad and lonely and feel you have no one to turn to there are organizations specifically designed to help people going through what you are going through. They are not discriminating or judgemental they actually care about you as they would not be there otherwise. They are there to lend an ear, you do not even have to say your real name. You just need to take the brave steps to reach out that is all you have to do.
If you are going through a difficult time, you may be feeling isolated and disconnected from your friends, family, or other groups. It might it difficult to start a conversation about your feelings, therefore there are organizations such as the Samaritans that can listen to your problems and perhaps steer you in the right direction. But it’s important that you let the people around you know how you are feeling. It’s important to remember that people in these organizations care and will want to help you.
Saying that, be prepared for the people in your immediate circle that may be oblivious to your sadness and may try to back away because they have their own problems.
The best people to start with are the ones that have been professionally trained, such as a GP or Mental Health Organisation. Not everyone in your close network of friends and family will understand or even want to help you, so keep that in mind.
What to do if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts
Your GP should be the first point of contact for any issues affecting your physical and mental health, including suicidal thoughts. They will also be able to diagnose a state of depression or anything in your lifestyle that may be contributing to how you may be feeling.
If you do not have a GP but need to speak with a doctor urgently, you can call NHS non-emergency number on 111 and they will direct you to the nearest available walk-in centre or doctor’s surgery.
Tips for coping with suicidal feelings:
Try not to think about the future, just focus on the present and getting through the day, start by taking baby steps.
Avoid drugs or alcohol, these will only add fuel to the fire.
Go to a safe place like a friend’s house, family or public area, avoid being stuck at home alone, go somewhere where there are people around.
Start a journal, this could be a physical book or online blog.
Find a reason to help others through your personal story.
Do something you usually enjoy.
If you are about to harm yourself or have already done so, call 999 as soon as possible or go to Accident and Emergency (A&E) at the nearest hospital.
Professional suicide support services
If you’re feeling very low, you can contact any of the professional support services below for free.
Sane Line – call 0300 304 7000 (available 4.30pm – 10.30pm every day)
Papyrus Hopeline – call 0800 068 4141, text 07786209697 or email email@example.com (available 10am – 10pm weekdays, 2pm – 10pm weekends and bank holidays)
The Mental Health Foundation is concerned but not surprised by the latest UK suicide figures. They are in line with other evidence of the distress people are feeling, such as rates of self-harm and self-reported feelings of shame.
Some of the rises in the number of suicides may be due to a change in the rules in England and Wales about how coroners should record suicides. However, it is currently too soon to know what difference the change has made.
Whenever a person takes their own life, there is a complex story behind it.
There is also not a single simple explanation for the increase in the number of people taking their own lives, but it is likely to be linked with economic austerity. We know that suicide rates are linked with people’s uncertainty about their financial futures, unemployment, persistent inequality, loneliness, discrimination, and ill-health.(Citation/Credit).
Asking about suicide does not encourage it, nor does it lead a person to start thinking about it; in fact it may help prevent it, and can start a potentially life-saving conversation
Note From the Editor.
However, I have to agree to disagree, I suffer from Mental Health Issues and on my last PIP assessment I was asked that very question, have I had suicidal thoughts.
Firstly I would not admit to anyone if I had them or not.
Secondly if I did not have those thoughts I basically was given a loaded gun because if I was not thinking about it before, I most certainly was thinking it now and had a seed planted in my head, which I could have easily gone through with it had I have been in that state of mind.
“The difference is I do have everything to live for and can teach people including institutions asking someone directly if they are feeling suicidal can go one of two ways and one has to tread carefully”.
“One needs to be subtle and not cause a person to immediately go on the defense and on guard. No one will admit they feel suicidal especially to a stranger unless they actively are looking to get help and are prepared to get the support they need”.
For me personally, this crossed my mind on the odd occasion, but I was not telling a PIP assessor who I did not know and besides my own personal story is complex, it is not one incident but many incidents with many people’s/entities actions that I can blame over many years that have caused me to feel depressed”.
“As I walked away with a loaded gun that the PIP Assessor had metaphorically given and had I not found the strength to over-ride my thoughts I very much doubt you would be reading my story today”.
I have since learned that one can over-ride one’s thoughts with neuroscience which I am actively researching. I hope to publish my findings in the near future.
What assessors should ask instead is:
Have you been feeling low?
Do you feel you can talk to someone?
How often do you feel low?
Do you have friends or family you can talk to?
Do you feel hopeless?
Do you feel worthless?
Do you feel the world is against you?
Do you know of any support networks you can reach out to?
Do you turn to alcohol or recreational drugs to surpress your thoughts?
Do you feel your thoughts are very intrusive?
Do you isolate yourself from society?
Can you cope with life?
Do you have any hobbies?
Do you feel proud of yourself?
Has anyone tried to hurt you physically or mentally?
World Health Organisation:
According to “WHO” Nearly 800,000 people die by suicide in the world each year, which is roughly one death every 40 seconds.
Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-24 years.
Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.
FINAL THOUGHTS FROM THE EDITOR.
When someone you know looks or behaves not their usual self, ask them if they are ok and that they can talk to you whenever they want with no pressure. Always be kind to people as you do not know what they are going through or feeling.
Never be judgemental or dictate to them what they should or should not do. Everyone has the ability to make their own decisions for their own reasons. If you have an opinion tell it once, it is up to the person to listen, continue bombarding the person with your opinions will eventually make the person withdraw from you. If people do not want to listen or take on board your advice do not force it on them.
If you say you are going to phone someone, stick to it, and never give empty promises as that person could just be waiting for you (CD) as there are consequences to our actions.
Do not be that family member that only reaches out once a year at Christmas. Phone the person regularly throughout the year. Get the distant relative involved in your life, do not disregard them like leftover meat. Phone them if they are not inclined to meet with you.
If you are a good person you will spread awareness that people do not have to go through things alone, share your story so that people can relate to you.
If you do not have a job and no one wants to employ you, then create a job and be your own boss. I can motivate and inspire anyone.
Nothing is so bad that you cannot overcome the problem(s) you are faced with, believe me, I know, I have been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. In fact, it did cross my mind on the odd occasion but found a way to get through it. Besides, I have a family and a business I am grateful for having a roof over my head and food to eat. Find the things you are grateful for and think there is always someone worse off than you. Where there is a will there is a way. Obstacles are there so that we can learn how to overcome them. Life is a lesson to be learned.
So if I can survive with everything I have gone through over the years, so can you.
Suicide is so very final and there is no guarantee what you will be faced with on the other side. It could be as some believe that people who commit suicide go straight to hell and some countries do not give people proper burials just dump their bodies in mass graves. It’s ironic that the actor who played the character Chris Nielsen (Robin Williams) “What Dreams May Come” in a film about suicide, committed suicide. Even famous people have demons and get depressed. (Rich and Depressed).
I have been pushed to my limits many times including when I lost both my parents and my brother but I have also had to deal with domestic violence not to mention losing someone I loved. This is part of the grieving process.
There will always be people who will try to be judgemental and will think they are better than you. Let it all go over your head, no one on this planet is better than you. Just because they may be more educated, have social status, or are some sort of institution or royalty, behind every company, there is a human being doing exactly the same as you, eating, sleeping, and surviving.
Did you know that rich people get depressed just like the disabled, working-class, and poor? In fact, in our current climate, everyone gets depressed at some point in their lives regardless, of gender, ethnicity, job title, social status, wealth, or physical and mental disabilities?
There is no such thing as a perfect world or perfect lifestyle that most of us try to strive for. The higher we climb the harder we fall and with more wealth, there will be more problems.
Rich people are prone to depression because a lot of money of their net worth exists in untouchable assets such as home equity and retirement accounts, not only pressures of work can take their toll on a person’s mental state. For rich people some of the time their wealth only exists on paper and they cannot spend it and run the risk of disappearing due to market conditions.
Rich people spend less time with their families and more time at work, this then puts strain on relationships.
Where the working class person can allocate time to spend with their families in the evenings and weekends and middle to high-class entrepreneurs will prioritize their business in order to run a tight ship. with no time wasted and every day is one day closer to striking gold and more gold. Not everyone is born privileged.
However, saying this person is born privileged or is famous and in the public arena may find it difficult to live normal lives. They cannot just pop down to a local cafe or supermarket their every move is documented so they live in a secluded place away from prying eyes.
The upper class and born privileged person may not understand about other classes and with money flowing may take their wealth for granted but again a wealthy person may also experience depression as they cannot walk on Gods earth freely without being followed by paparazzi and may have to have an entourage of security guarding them. They cannot walk into a store or go anywhere public. They are imprisoned in their own surroundings. They may not have the freedom to do things randomly unlike the rest of the world.
Most CEOs, founders, the innovators are prone to depression more so than the average person, possessing subtle psychopathic traits and be more prone to addiction.
Their addiction and obsession with work only fuel the fire to not fail. Rich people may also turn to alcohol and recreational drugs to self-medicate. These tendencies may even help the individual rise to such heights through their insecurities.
It is also suggested that even privileged rich kids are, counter-intuitively, more depressed and anxious than their middle- or low-income peers. This could be because a social group trap is so tight-knit that it would be virtually impossible to make friends out of their social circle, giving rich kids less freedom. Rich kids do not mix with poor kids or vice versa.
People on low incomes have lower expectations and working-class families learn to cope with the bare minimums and are truly grateful for what they have, which high class have more expectations and are not grateful of what they have because they always want more and better things than the Jones’s. Low-class families are more humble and can show more empathy and understand that a less privileged person will be eternally grateful for any help that is given to them.
Hence a lower class family will be eternally grateful compared to a wealthy family. Whilst a wealthy family will expect the best of the best and if they do not get what they desire they may experience anxiety and depression. There is currently not enough research about the prevalence of depression in the upper vs. the lower socioeconomic classes within a country.
Psychologists who have treated the very high-functioning C-suite types over the years have collected data consensus that tells them that people of high social status and enormous wealth are prone to major depression for a variety of reasons than people of other socioeconomic strata.
Todd Essig, a Forbes writer, and psychologist in New York City said “Uber-success can be depressogenic”. “Many C-suite executives are prone to depression, despite their success, maybe even because of it.”
Depression can affect the lives of everyone, in any stratum.
Regardless if you are rich, poor, or with a disability, no one is immune to anxiety and depression.
However, people who have extreme success are more prone to depression because a person who is successful has chased their own dream and is more protective of it causing isolation and the pressures to keep it a success and not to fail can cause a person to isolate.
People of extreme successes are more prone to criticism there will always be competitors and haters and people just watching and waiting for them to fail.
A person in the public eye may not always have people who will believe in their success.
In this not-so-perfect world where most of us want a perfect life, this is virtually impossible as money cannot buy you happiness. It is a constant battle to please people to have people on the same page as you and there will always be people that are jealous and will say things out of context just to hurt you. It is a constant battle to stay on top which triggers depression in those you’d least expect it. People who are successful, wealthy, and with a disability may find even more pressure to not fail and have to work even harder to get around obstacles. In fact, some of the most successful people in history have suffered from relentless, incapacitating depression – some have won their battles, or, at least, continued to battle, yet some, sadly, succumb to them.
Comparing yourself to the Joneses
People who are extremely successful and very wealthy will always want the best of the best and will always compete with one another to have something grander. This could be the best-hosted party in which mingling with other wealthy people only puts more pressure to make their event even more spectacular. Their competitors, neighbor, or friends dripping with jewels then their jewels would have to be bigger and more expensive, this could also be designer clothes, accessories, cars, properties, etc. They constantly compare themselves to the Joneses. Countries that are low-income, on the other hand, have low depression rates. However even countries with low wealth still like to compete, you should see the graves in Poland the bigger and grander reflects the wealth of the family.
Some people habitually measure their self-worth by materialistic items that they own. Even people of low wealth try to portray they are rich by wearing designer clothes and accessories but in reality, they do not have two pennies to rub together. Not everything that glistens is gold.
People of working or low class have time to delegate their free time whilst a person who is an entrepreneur will be more driven in making their business succeed and may neglect family in order to concentrate on making their business a success. Once at the top of the ladder they will constantly be overprotective to make their business stay in the number one spot. This adds further stress and anxiety and eventually depression.
People of the lower class do not have the same expectations and those of the working or middle or higher class. They may be complacent to what they have and will not be driven to improve their lives they will not have the same pressure as working or middle-class people. Entrepreneurs are on the spectrum of the lower, working, middle and upper class but they have a key goal to succeed. They will battle to climb the ladder. To achieve extreme success, a person needs to dedicate an extraordinary amount of time and effort to get there, which can make for a life that feels precipitous and lonely.
People climbing the ladder may find everyday things that people take for granted like spending time with family mundane and not proactive. Going for leisurely walks or taking time out to exercise may be an ordeal and you will be surprised that many successful people have their own Gyms or exercise bikes in their offices. Also engaging in meaningless conversations and socializing with people that do not have the same vision adds even more pressure to socially disconnect.
People who have been born wealthy and do not have to ever worry about putting food on the table may find it hard to cope if they find themselves in uncharted territory. People born into wealth do not understand and may find it harder to cope with life problems as they have always been shielded from it. Arnold Washton, a psychologist at Compass Health Group said that depression may also be more common in people who have only known wealth, since they may not be familiar with bootstrapping themselves through difficult times. However, people who self-made millionaires or billionaires may be more resilient as they have experienced the struggles of getting to the top and they know what to expect. A self-made millionaire, a billionaire has more authority to teach people about wealth than someone who was born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
Thehigher you rise the harder you fall.
To be always vigilant and be prepared for disasters and knowing from all the mistakes and failures you have had will give you a building block to start again. Having a stepping stone if things go belly up and being able to reinvent yourself is one key factor to making sure you succeed. If something is not working quite right create another building block. When business is bad, it goes without saying that depression would be more likely. In good economic times, even if every milestone is hit at exactly the right point, some may find that they feel they have failed. Rather than let everything come tumbling down have strategies in place for every economic disaster.
Just because someone is super-wealthy does not mean you have to be less empathetic towards them. By helping them get through their depression will encourage them to help you. The super-rich also have bills to pay and have obligations just like you and I. Obviously our bills are nothing compared to the magnitude of theirs but it’s bills all the same. Unless a person is a ruler of the land or oil tycoon even then the laws of the land may forbid their relatives to live normal lives. Even princesses have attempted to escape certain countries because they want to live normal lives. Knowing a person is depressed regardless of their stature one can only offer a helping hand this could be just an anonymous talk or perhaps advice and links to organizations.
Rich Person Insecurities.
Keeping up with the Jones
Health Issues, Mental Health, Physical and Mental Disabilities
Wealth/Money cannot buy you health or happiness. Wealth? Money is a tool and a monetary exchange for something you desire. Wealth can satisfy your needs and fill in an empty void, it can help secure your future and your family’s future but it cannot buy you health or happiness. Having material things and assets may make you feel more superior but it will never make you happy.
The key to happiness is knowing that what you do helps others. However to be happy you need to be healthy and you have to treat your body like a temple. If you look after your body it will look after you the spiritual being in the physical body.
If someone is suffering from depression and recognizes they have a problem this does not make them weak. By reaching out to someone is the first step to healing.
Sharing your pain, your worries, and anxieties are the first step to alleviating the problem. A person who is suffering should not suffer alone and needs to reach out to someone or seek professional help.
Regardless of the person’s title or wealth status, we are all human at the end of the day.
Regardless of who you are you can drop us a line you do not have to give your real name and you can set up a Gmail email if you simply feel life is unbearable we are here to lend an ear and we can offer suggestions.
Whatever you are going through you do not have to go through it alone. You are not the first or the last person to suffer and you should not suffer in silence.
Emotional Distress. Keeping a diary of your medical condition.
By logging down your good days and bad will give your GP or Specialist a more indepth understanding of your day to day problems.
For me most days are the same but some days are severe.
Today is one of those days.
I actually started this post a few days ago and left it as a draft but my mental health is really taking its toll. For example, I heard my ex-husband is in hospital after suffering a heart attack and has other complications such as lupus and cancer. The last time we spoke was 14 years ago and I felt I had been hit by a truck receiving the news today that he was in ICU in an induced coma and is now in a high dependency ward.
To say that this is a shock is an understatement and there are some people in the family I have reached out to.
I know that our divorce was nasty but there is an element of me that still cares.
I hope he recovers and I will get an update on the weekend but for now my mental health is on another level.
Emotional Distress By One of the Culprits (My Landlord)
Not only that my landlord is playing mind games with me. He sends me an email saying he is extending my contract for another 3 years and has drawn up an agreement (by coincidence on the same day I paid him the increased amount of money), for me to sign but he will not do a digital signature and is insisting he needs to see me. A week after his email I get a text that he will be visiting me today and so far he has not called round or text me. This is causing me no end of anxiety as I need him calling round like I need a hole in my head.
I have a problem with social disconnection and do not want to be around people.
I have explained this in my email and told him due to Covid my business has suffered plus other factors which I said etcetera but what I really meant was him increasing my rent causing me to have severe depression and stress. Yet he seems to be oblivious to the fact I am unwell.
If there are any monsters in this world its the people that show no empathy and only think about themselves.
I have recently found out you can sue people that have caused you distress. You obviously need proof of the distress, anxiety, stress, and depression this person has bestowed on you. My evidence is me publically documenting everyone that has caused me harm. You will have to show medical evidence and have witnesses to prove your case. You can claim for the emotional distress the discrimination has caused you – this is called ‘injury to feelings. You‘ll need to say how the discrimination made you feel.
The courts recognize emotional distress as a type of damage that can be recovered through a civil lawsuit. This means you can sue someone for emotional trauma or distress if you can provide evidence to support your claims.
Starting a business can be stressful, no one said it would be easy. One has to plan ahead and manage finances so that you can live. Nothing happens overnight, there has to be a lot of planning to lift your business to the next level and none if it comes without stress.
Entrepreneurship is often looked up to as a status symbol that the individual has found the courage to be independant and in control of his/her own careers. Entrepreneurs are also admired for their creativity and initiative. Yet their personal struggles are often not acknowledged because people think being an entrepreneur you are an automatic success which sometimes can be further from the truth. Entrepreneurship comes with challenges in which can add unnecessary stress.
Entrepreneurs tend to be seen as high achievers, driven and motivated. However having these fine qualities does come with some disadvantages. Most entrepreneurs are perfectionists and tend to put aside their personal needs over the needs of their business sometimes foregoing personal family outings or general socialising events in the name of making their business a success. Many marriages have fallen apart because of the entrepreneurs protecting their business with the business coming first place and the marriage coming last.
Because being an entrepreneur nothing is guaranteed there is a lot of scope for failure and uncertainties especially if they are not well established and cannot guarantee a steady income. These uncertainties increase proneness to anxiety disorders, depression, substance use/abuse, and eating disorders.
How many entrepreneurs you know are heavy drinkers?
Reasons entrepreneurs get depressed include:
1). History of Anxiety and Depression
2). Lack of Motivation and Inspiration
2). Feeling Unsuccessful and Fear of Failure
3). Problems maintaining control of your business, perhalps lack of funds or problems with staff or late paying customers.
4). Large numbers of investor rejections
5). Stress and long working hours leading to burnout
6). Being sabotaged by partners
7). Problems with Staff or Recruitment
8). Struggles gaining and maintaining traction
9). Problems with Branding
10). Problems with Marketing
11). Financial Difficulties
12). Lack of Support from your martital partner
13) Feeling Lonely
14) Suffering From othe Mental Health Disorders
15). Lack of Sleep
Growing your business does not come without setbacks, such as securing leads, losing clients, customers disputes or not seeing eye to eye with your business partner(s). It could also be increased competition, staffing problems, whilst struggling to pay the wages and having enough money to pay yourself. Psychiatrist and former entrepreneur Michael A. Freeman, who researches mental health and entrepreneurship says that being an entrepreneur can be very traumatic and can lead to mental health issues.
If you already have mental health problems this can increase your anxieties. No one wants to admit to their vulnerabilities, but the more support there is the more we can be open about our struggles. It is no good bottling it all up inside. Business Men and Women have practiced what is called by social psychiatrists ‘impression management’, also known as “fake it till you make it.” We should never pretend to be something we are not, but at the same time you do not want the whole world knowing your problems as this can be damaging to your business. However the more transparent you are and even being an advocate for mental health, people will quickly start to trust you.
There are also organisations that can allow you to stay anomymous. if you are struggling to find somone to talk to you can reach out here to us or contact the following organisations:
Some people want to show the world instantaneously how successful they are before actually being successful so they max out their loans and cards to the hilt and drive flashy cars and wear high end designer clothes just to look the part and fake their image.
Being not true to yourself will eventually catch up with you. Do not pretend to be someone your not, people will soon see when cracks start to appear.
Honesty is the Best Policy.
If you are having finacial difficulties and for example you can not pay bonuses tell your staff and give them a reason why, never leave things to the last minute. If you tell your staff in advance they are more likely to be more understanding. Always be transparent.
You do not have to air your dirty laundry in public but can adapt a monthly or weekly mental health event where people can network and get support. Simply be listening to other peoples problems and relating to similarities can be make people think they are not alone with their struggles.
We need to find a way where we can express our problems without it having a detrimental effect on our business or our health.
Mental Health is still classed as taboo and people find it hard to talk about what they are going through.
No one should feel they are all alone and there is no one that could possibly undersatnd their struggles as did the successful entrepreneurs that came to their demise even though they seemed to be in control, one being ‘Ilya Zhitomirskiy’ founder of Diaspora, a social networking site and the other ‘Jody Sherman’ founder of the e-commerce site Ecomo. The list continues with Fashion Designers ‘Alexander McQueen’, ‘Kate Spade’ and A-List Actors such as ‘Robin Williams’ to name just a few.
Mental Health statistics show according to research done by theNational Institute of Mental Health that an astonishing 49% of entrepreneurs are directly effected and 32 % are indirectly affected by mental health problems compared to just 48% of non entrepreneurs. The statistics are far greater because the pressure of success.
The study showed that 23% of entrepreneurs are affected because some family members may be experiencing mental health issues.
The biggest challenges entrepreneurs have, especially with their mental health is asking for help. Not only so but working all the hours God sends can be very lonely. It is hard to juggle a home life with a entrepreneurial life, often making sacrifices that can cause our personal relationships to crumble.
Furthermore when you see companies securing multi million dollar deals and you are bearly getting by, the feeling can sometimes be deflating. But one has to think that even these companies started out most probaby somewhere just like you and with staying focused and perserverance they have managed to climb the ladder. However even companies that are a success struggle with being No1 and continue to push themselves to perfectionism.
It is all about being honest and addressing the problems you have. By being in denial and sweeping your problems under the carpet won’t make your problems go away. If you are a successful business the pressure to maintain the status can be even far greater than starting out. There are organisation you can reach out to for help.
You do not have to announce to the world you have mental health issues but there is always someone you can talk to. If it is problem solving there is tonnes of information on the internet and companies that do business consulting. You could even have monthly employee mental health days where you get someone to talk about mental health in general. Not only will it be therapy for you it will also help your staff dealing with problems themselves. Your employees will see you are a compassionate leader which will gain you a lot of respect.
Retraining Your Brain.
Outsmarting your way of thinking can set you on the road ot recovery.
Practice the following Steps:
Setup an action plan. Do your research and but your actions into motion. Set up a business plan, speak with people in your industry, speak to your business bank manager who can put you in touch with people. Consider Business Consultants and do networking.
Setup a Support Network. Find people that will support you from friends, family, coaches and mentors. There are business social media platforms that you can exapnd your network and engage with like minded people.
Allocate some quality time (me time). Take time off to reflect and relax so that when you return you are set to go. Even having a day off or even an afternoon off is better than nothing at all. In your free time do nothingat all or doing sometime you love.
Have a dream board. Stick down all the goals you want to acheive and give yourself a deadline. Every day for five minutes before you start work look at your dream board and focus on why you are about to start the day and that you are one day closer to acheiving your dream. You could have a board you stick on your office wall or have one on your desktop home screen or in your diary (I keep one in my diary and it goes evrywhere with me).
Keep a journal. Write down all your dreams and aspirations and take a daily note of your highs and your lows. (For me blogging is my therapy).
Maintain a Good Diet. We are what we eat. Eating unhealthily will cause damage to our bodies. Treat your body like your office. You don’t store junk in your office so do not fill your body with junk food. Take vitamin supplements and trat your body like a temple.
Maintain a Level of Excercise. Even if you find it difficult leaving your home, do some workouts at home. There are pleanty of YouTube videos you can adapt your exercise routine to.
Reward Yourself. At the end of the week or month once you reach your daily or weekly goals give yourself a pat on the back and trat yourself. You don’t need to go overboard but give yourself something that will motivate you to complete another task, as in the suggestions below if your a woman.
Help Others. By helping others you are also helping yourself. If you focus only on yourself you will fall into a spiral of loneliness and depression but if you help others and put your worries aside you ar not longer making yourself the centre spot. Remember there is always someone out there you can help.
Consider Getting Medical Advice. The first port of call is your GP. If your are constantly worrying and are feeling anxious and depressed visit your GP who can prescribe you some antidepressants and something to help you sleep.
“There is a solution to every problem and you are never alone as there is always someone that you can talk to. If you can not face speaking to someone directly over the phone you can send an email or contact form”.
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