Social Disconnection a Personal Perspective.

I won’t name the person that said to me today, to go find a shrink. This person is one of my close network of connections and I found the comment rude and degrading. According to this individual I obviously, I need to go to the looney bin because I am finding it hard to cope with stress and anxiety.

When I counter reacted by saying I do not want to speak to anyone about my health and much rather prefer self-help therapy, the person said how is that working out for me?

When I said I have a diploma this person said that the diploma obviously was not legit.


No matter how I try to prove my education it’s as if nothing ever is good enough for this person. I sense this person does not want me to succeed.

I am done with negative people in my life that chose to judge me even though they have not walked in my shoes. As Nikola Tesla once said “Intelligent people tend to have fewer friends than the average person. The smarter you are the more selective you become” Let’s just say I am picky about who I chose to keep company with.

Social disconnection worsens mental health after a loss, grief, or trauma.

This same person has suffered some of the loss I have endured and sitting on their high and mighty throne casting judgment, has not got a clue about my struggles, although they will when my autobiography is published.

I said I have social disconnection issues and this person said so I am angry with the world. On the contrary, I am protecting myself from the world because I have been hurt too many times.

If anything, I have trust issues rather than anger problems.

People that have done you wrong should be called out, that is what the internet is for to name and shame people/companies that have not supplied an adequate service.

Once bitten twice shy so to speak, I am warier of my surroundings. I am safer behind my computer screen than intermingling with the outside world.

Social disconnection is a survival strategy after suffering a bereavement or trauma. However new research shows that the social disconnection caused by concealing feelings of loss can increase psychological distress.

People suffering from grief may find it difficult and may be afraid of opening up to others. Fear of becoming overwhelmed by feelings in front of friends and family can lead the bereaved to avoid social contact altogether.

Research, funded by the NIHR Oxford Health Biomedical Research Centre, showed that being socially disconnected is linked to worse psychological health following a loss.

Dr. Kirsten Smith, the lead author of the paper, added:

‘As a nation, we are currently experiencing unprecedented amounts of loss in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic. The study speaks to the need to reach out to those who may have suffered a bereavement.’

Dr. Smith relates the research findings to the stiff-upper-lip attitude that we often see in western societies and the idea that keeping our grief hidden is part of survival.  In fact, evidence shows that pushing emotions away results in a rebound effect which is more likely to result in problems.

The new research clearly points to the importance of emotional connectedness following a loss. So, what can we do in practical terms to support the bereaved? Dr. Smith suggests staying in regular contact with bereaved family and friends. Dr. Smith urges ‘Let them know you care, keep checking in even if they don’t feel ready to talk yet.  Even though physical distance is currently necessary emotional distance doesn’t need to be.’

When the person is ready to open up, you must be ready to lend an ear or shoulder to cry on. You should never make the person feel as if the issue they are facing is trivial. It may be trivial to you, but it may feel like the world has opened up and wants to swallow them. Do not say that you have done nothing to help yourself, or you need to talk to a shrink.

What is your family for if you cannot turn to them?

Do not say things like chin up, or you will get over it.

Some of the loss I have endured I am still grieving 18 years later, but have found ways of coping by writing my thoughts down.

Dr. Kirsten Smith’s paper was published in Clinical Psychological Science.

Ironically the same person I opened up to about my health in an email I sent promised to respond and never did. I drew the conclusion the person did not want to deal with my trauma and could not support me yet has the audacity to judge me. Perhaps if I talked it through, I may have felt better.

I choose to socially disconnect as I find this is my way of coping.

My self-help therapy is to remove negativity from my life.

#grief #bereavement #loss #trauma #ptsd #stress #anciety #depression #selfhelptherapy

Disabled Entrepreneur - Disability UK | + posts

The Editor Suffers From OCD & Cerebellar Atrophy. She is an Entrepreneur & Published Author, she writes content on a range of topics, including politics, current affairs, health and business. She is an advocate for Mental Health, Human Rights & Disability Discrimination.

Whilst her disabilities can be challenging she has adapted her life around her health and documents her journey online.

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