Category: Social Disconnection

Anxiety Phoning Your GP

Anxiety Phoning your GP!

Anxiety Phoning Your GP.

Many of us worry about speaking to our GP at the best of times and it is more difficult especially if we have mental health and anxiety issues.

However, doing nothing about your ailments and bottling things up can make things worse. It’s better to seek help early rather than let it fester into something worse. That way you can start receiving the treatment you need to set you on the road to recovery.

“GPs are normally the first port of call for physical and mental health concerns. However, for someone like myself who suffers from anxiety, it can be overwhelming physically having a conversation about what you are thinking or feeling with your GP or practice nurse, someone you may hardly know.

Whatever way you decide about communicating with your GP they will want to speak with you even if you appoint a friend or family member to speak on your behalf (data protection), they will still want to speak with you.

Mind Charity has put together a guide with some tips on how to prepare for your appointment and make the most of the short time you get with them. Find out more at www.mind.org.uk/findthewords.”

Speaking to your GP or practice nurse should be your first step to getting help. However, if you are anxious it might be an idea to contact your GP via email or snail mail. However, this can be passed to the practice manager, for everyone to see and read. In fact, I wrote such an email to my GP last May 2021 and the practice manager and cluster pharmacist both confirmed they read my letter which was not addressed to them yet my GP has not bothered to respond to my letter at all.

The only time I will be speaking to my GP once I muster the courage to phone them to raise my complaint will be through court and suing them for negligence.

What is concerning is I do need medical attention as some of my symptoms have escalated, but I cannot bring myself to phone the GP Surgery as I feel I will lose my rag with them. Furthermore, I have social disconnection issues and cannot interact with anyone other than my family and online.

https://www.mind.org.uk/about-us/our-policy-work/you-and-your-gp/for-gp-patients/

https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/about-the-nhs/how-to-complain-to-the-nhs/

https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/other-services/Patient-advice-and-liaison-services-(PALS)/LocationSearch/363

https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/other-services/Clinical-Commissioning-Group/LocationSearch/1

https://www.cqc.org.uk/contact-us/how-complain/complain-about-use-mental-health-act

https://www.ombudsman.org.uk/

https://www.ombudsman.org.uk/publications/my-expectations-raising-concerns-and-complaints

#gpdutyofcare #gp #doctorsurgery #gpnegligence #anxiety #anxietyphoning #anxietyphoningyourgp #dutyofcare #nhscomplaints

Feeling Suicidal, Suicidal Thoughts.

Feeling Suicidal, Suicidal Thoughts.

Feeling Suicidal.

“Life is precious, do not waste it”.

Feeling Suicidal is when a person is in a very dark place metaphorically speaking when they have lost the will to live and they see no other way of escaping from the nightmare they are in.

The rise in suicides likely to be linked to austerity – but the story behind each suicide is complex.

When a person has lost all hope and the will to live they cannot see anything else other than dying. They believe that once they die their nightmare will be over and they will not feel anguish, sadness, loneliness, or despair. They do believe the grass is greener on the other side but is it though?.. Some people believe if you commit suicide you go to hell. So if life feels like hell right now, the real hell will be far worse.

When a person falls into this state of feeling hopeless when nothing is working out fine for them and no one understands them or cares or bothers with them it is understandable they may sink deeper into the abyss.

Most of our depression is fueled by fear, loss, and grief. “Disabled Entrepreneur UK” covers all topics in all categories (I have linked some of the topics in this article).

There are many factors that can cause a person to feel so low:

  1. They feel like a failure, they have nothing to show for their life, they fear failure.
  2. They have lost their job.
  3. They have lost their home, through evicition or natual disaster, divorce, seperation or money problems such as bankruptcy or not being able to keep up with the mortgage payments.
  4. They have lost their family through death or family fued.
  5. They have or are going through a divorce and are losing their home, their children and their money.
  6. They have been robbed.
  7. Their business is going under.
  8. They have lost their life partner, through seperation, or death.
  9. They have lost their child through miscarrage, illness or accidental death.
  10. They are discriminated, humiliated or made a mockery of. They have people or institutes that judge them.
  11. The have financial burdens that if their money was taken away how would they cope (benefits).
  12. They feel no one cares or understands them and every time they reach out people do not take them seriously.
  13. They are stuck in a physically and mentally abusive relationship.
  14. They are being bullied in school or in the workplace.
  15. Harrassment because of sexual orientation, religion, skin colour, beliefs, ethnicity.
  16. They have no friends.
  17. They feel lonely.
  18. They feel the world has turned against them.
  19. Their family and friends have turned against them because or their sexual orientation, religion or beliefs.
  20. They are the abuser in a domstic viilent relationship and have they gone too far with their actions and feel worried they will get caught.

Many adults will experience feelings of hopelessness or suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives. 

This could be because they do not have a close support network that understands them (friends/family/co-workers) and they may feel embarrassed to reach anyone in their network for the fear of being laughed at or for the worries they have to be brushed under the carpet so to speak.

SIGNS TO LOOK OUT FOR.

  1. Social Withdrawal.
  2. Excessive Quietness,
  3. Irritability.
  4. Uncharacteristic Outbursts.
  5. Crying For No Reason.
  6. Hating Everything and Everyone.
  7. Talking about Death or Suicide.

“If you are feeling suicidal, the most important thing is to talk to someone“.

If authoritarian institutions try to judge or discriminate against a person for their mental health, remind them no one is perfect and everyone could be in the same shoes as a suicidal person one day feeling life is not worth living”.

When you feel sad and lonely and feel you have no one to turn to there are organizations specifically designed to help people going through what you are going through. They are not discriminating or judgemental they actually care about you as they would not be there otherwise. They are there to lend an ear, you do not even have to say your real name. You just need to take the brave steps to reach out that is all you have to do.

If you are going through a difficult time, you may be feeling isolated and disconnected from your friends, family, or other groups. It might it difficult to start a conversation about your feelings, therefore there are organizations such as the Samaritans that can listen to your problems and perhaps steer you in the right direction. But it’s important that you let the people around you know how you are feeling. It’s important to remember that people in these organizations care and will want to help you.

Saying that, be prepared for the people in your immediate circle that may be oblivious to your sadness and may try to back away because they have their own problems.

The best people to start with are the ones that have been professionally trained, such as a GP or Mental Health Organisation. Not everyone in your close network of friends and family will understand or even want to help you, so keep that in mind.

What to do if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts

Your GP should be the first point of contact for any issues affecting your physical and mental health, including suicidal thoughts. They will also be able to diagnose a state of depression or anything in your lifestyle that may be contributing to how you may be feeling. 

If you do not have a GP but need to speak with a doctor urgently, you can call NHS non-emergency number on 111 and they will direct you to the nearest available walk-in centre or doctor’s surgery.

Tips for coping with suicidal feelings:

  • Try not to think about the future, just focus on the present and getting through the day, start by taking baby steps.
  • Avoid drugs or alcohol, these will only add fuel to the fire.
  • Go to a safe place like a friend’s house, family or public area, avoid being stuck at home alone, go somewhere where there are people around.
  • Start a journal, this could be a physical book or online blog.
  • Find a reason to help others through your personal story.
  • Do something you usually enjoy.

If you are about to harm yourself or have already done so, call 999 as soon as possible or go to Accident and Emergency (A&E) at the nearest hospital.

Professional suicide support services

If you’re feeling very low, you can contact any of the professional support services below for free.

  • Samaritans – call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.co.uk (available 24/7)
  • Sane Line – call 0300 304 7000 (available 4.30pm – 10.30pm every day)
  • Papyrus Hopeline – call 0800 068 4141, text 07786209697 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org (available 10am – 10pm weekdays, 2pm – 10pm weekends and bank holidays)

The Mental Health Foundation is concerned but not surprised by the latest UK suicide figures. They are in line with other evidence of the distress people are feeling, such as rates of self-harm and self-reported feelings of shame.

Some of the rises in the number of suicides may be due to a change in the rules in England and Wales about how coroners should record suicides. However, it is currently too soon to know what difference the change has made.

Whenever a person takes their own life, there is a complex story behind it.

There is also not a single simple explanation for the increase in the number of people taking their own lives, but it is likely to be linked with economic austerity. We know that suicide rates are linked with people’s uncertainty about their financial futures, unemployment, persistent inequality, loneliness, discrimination, and ill-health. (Citation/Credit).

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/blog/suicide-prevention-how-you-can-make-difference

ASKING IF ONE IS FEELING SUICIDAL.

According to The Mental Health Foundation:

Asking “are you having suicidal thoughts?”

  • Asking about suicide does not encourage it, nor does it lead a person to start thinking about it; in fact it may help prevent it, and can start a potentially life-saving conversation

Note From the Editor.

However, I have to agree to disagree, I suffer from Mental Health Issues and on my last PIP assessment I was asked that very question, have I had suicidal thoughts.

  1. Firstly I would not admit to anyone if I had them or not.
  2. Secondly if I did not have those thoughts I basically was given a loaded gun because if I was not thinking about it before, I most certainly was thinking it now and had a seed planted in my head, which I could have easily gone through with it had I have been in that state of mind.

“The difference is I do have everything to live for and can teach people including institutions asking someone directly if they are feeling suicidal can go one of two ways and one has to tread carefully”.

One needs to be subtle and not cause a person to immediately go on the defense and on guard. No one will admit they feel suicidal especially to a stranger unless they actively are looking to get help and are prepared to get the support they need”.

For me personally, this crossed my mind on the odd occasion, but I was not telling a PIP assessor who I did not know and besides my own personal story is complex, it is not one incident but many incidents with many people’s/entities actions that I can blame over many years that have caused me to feel depressed”.

As I walked away with a loaded gun that the PIP Assessor had metaphorically given and had I not found the strength to over-ride my thoughts I very much doubt you would be reading my story today”.

I have since learned that one can over-ride one’s thoughts with neuroscience which I am actively researching. I hope to publish my findings in the near future.

What assessors should ask instead is:

  1. Have you been feeling low?
  2. Do you feel you can talk to someone?
  3. How often do you feel low?
  4. Do you have friends or family you can talk to?
  5. Do you feel hopeless?
  6. Do you feel worthless?
  7. Do you feel the world is against you?
  8. Do you know of any support networks you can reach out to?
  9. Do you turn to alcohol or recreational drugs to surpress your thoughts?
  10. Do you feel your thoughts are very intrusive?
  11. Do you isolate yourself from society?
  12. Can you cope with life?
  13. Do you have any hobbies?
  14. Do you feel proud of yourself?
  15. Has anyone tried to hurt you physically or mentally?

World Health Organisation:

According to “WHO” Nearly 800,000 people die by suicide in the world each year, which is roughly one death every 40 seconds.

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-24 years.

Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.

https://apps.who.int/gho/data/node.sdg.3-4-viz-2?lang=en

FINAL THOUGHTS FROM THE EDITOR.

When someone you know looks or behaves not their usual self, ask them if they are ok and that they can talk to you whenever they want with no pressure. Always be kind to people as you do not know what they are going through or feeling.

Never be judgemental or dictate to them what they should or should not do. Everyone has the ability to make their own decisions for their own reasons. If you have an opinion tell it once, it is up to the person to listen, continue bombarding the person with your opinions will eventually make the person withdraw from you. If people do not want to listen or take on board your advice do not force it on them.

If you say you are going to phone someone, stick to it, and never give empty promises as that person could just be waiting for you (CD) as there are consequences to our actions.

Do not be that family member that only reaches out once a year at Christmas. Phone the person regularly throughout the year. Get the distant relative involved in your life, do not disregard them like leftover meat. Phone them if they are not inclined to meet with you.

People battle demons in their heads and it is only right for you as a decent human being to be there for the person that may be going through worse ordeals than yourself.

If you are a good person you will spread awareness that people do not have to go through things alone, share your story so that people can relate to you.

If you do not have a job and no one wants to employ you, then create a job and be your own boss. I can motivate and inspire anyone.

Nothing is so bad that you cannot overcome the problem(s) you are faced with, believe me, I know, I have been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. In fact, it did cross my mind on the odd occasion but found a way to get through it. Besides, I have a family and a business I am grateful for having a roof over my head and food to eat. Find the things you are grateful for and think there is always someone worse off than you. Where there is a will there is a way. Obstacles are there so that we can learn how to overcome them. Life is a lesson to be learned.

So if I can survive with everything I have gone through over the years, so can you.

Suicide is so very final and there is no guarantee what you will be faced with on the other side. It could be as some believe that people who commit suicide go straight to hell and some countries do not give people proper burials just dump their bodies in mass graves. It’s ironic that the actor who played the character Chris Nielsen (Robin Williams) “What Dreams May Come” in a film about suicide, committed suicide. Even famous people have demons and get depressed. (Rich and Depressed).

I have been pushed to my limits many times including when I lost both my parents and my brother but I have also had to deal with domestic violence not to mention losing someone I loved. This is part of the grieving process.

There will always be people who will try to be judgemental and will think they are better than you. Let it all go over your head, no one on this planet is better than you. Just because they may be more educated, have social status, or are some sort of institution or royalty, behind every company, there is a human being doing exactly the same as you, eating, sleeping, and surviving.

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/understanding-behaviour

Anyone who is reading this and simply wants to talk can set up an anonymous Gmail account and message me using the form below.

“Nothing is unbearable that cannot be conquered”.

For me how I deal with depression other than doing research I use this site to write my mental health problems as an online digital journal specifically designed to help myself and others like me.

I can lend an ear and point you in the right direction, you do not have to give your real name and everything you say will be kept confidential”.

**Please note: messages are answered within 24 hours.

However, you can chat with me using the chatbox, Open Monday to Friday Business Hours.

If you want to speak with someone outside of these hours I recommend getting in touch with the Samaritans.

If you want to write your own story I can create your own page and together we can inspire more people”.

#suicide #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #feelingsuicidal #depression #clinicaldepression #grief #anxiety #humanbehaviour #suicidalthoughts #intrusivethoughts #suicidal #feelingsuicidal

Rich & Depressed

Rich, Disabled & Depressed.

Did you know that rich people get depressed just like the disabled, working-class, and poor? In fact, in our current climate, everyone gets depressed at some point in their lives regardless, of gender, ethnicity, job title, social status, wealth, or physical and mental disabilities?

There is no such thing as a perfect world or perfect lifestyle that most of us try to strive for. The higher we climb the harder we fall and with more wealth, there will be more problems.

There is not one person on this planet that cannot say they have never been depressed. Even babies can be born depressed.

Rich people are prone to depression because a lot of money of their net worth exists in untouchable assets such as home equity and retirement accounts, not only pressures of work can take their toll on a person’s mental state. For rich people some of the time their wealth only exists on paper and they cannot spend it and run the risk of disappearing due to market conditions.

Rich people spend less time with their families and more time at work, this then puts strain on relationships.

Where the working class person can allocate time to spend with their families in the evenings and weekends and middle to high-class entrepreneurs will prioritize their business in order to run a tight ship. with no time wasted and every day is one day closer to striking gold and more gold. Not everyone is born privileged.

However, saying this person is born privileged or is famous and in the public arena may find it difficult to live normal lives. They cannot just pop down to a local cafe or supermarket their every move is documented so they live in a secluded place away from prying eyes.

The upper class and born privileged person may not understand about other classes and with money flowing may take their wealth for granted but again a wealthy person may also experience depression as they cannot walk on Gods earth freely without being followed by paparazzi and may have to have an entourage of security guarding them. They cannot walk into a store or go anywhere public. They are imprisoned in their own surroundings. They may not have the freedom to do things randomly unlike the rest of the world.

Most CEOs, founders, the innovators are prone to depression more so than the average person, possessing subtle psychopathic traits and be more prone to addiction.

Their addiction and obsession with work only fuel the fire to not fail. Rich people may also turn to alcohol and recreational drugs to self-medicate. These tendencies may even help the individual rise to such heights through their insecurities.

Research suggests that CEOs may be depressed at more than double the rate of the general public (which is already about 20%).

It is also suggested that even privileged rich kids are, counter-intuitively, more depressed and anxious than their middle- or low-income peers. This could be because a social group trap is so tight-knit that it would be virtually impossible to make friends out of their social circle, giving rich kids less freedom. Rich kids do not mix with poor kids or vice versa.

People on low incomes have lower expectations and working-class families learn to cope with the bare minimums and are truly grateful for what they have, which high class have more expectations and are not grateful of what they have because they always want more and better things than the Jones’s. Low-class families are more humble and can show more empathy and understand that a less privileged person will be eternally grateful for any help that is given to them.

Hence a lower class family will be eternally grateful compared to a wealthy family. Whilst a wealthy family will expect the best of the best and if they do not get what they desire they may experience anxiety and depression. There is currently not enough research about the prevalence of depression in the upper vs. the lower socioeconomic classes within a country.

Psychologists who have treated the very high-functioning C-suite types over the years have collected data consensus that tells them that people of high social status and enormous wealth are prone to major depression for a variety of reasons than people of other socioeconomic strata.

Todd Essig, a Forbes writer, and psychologist in New York City said “Uber-success can be depressogenic”. “Many C-suite executives are prone to depression, despite their success, maybe even because of it.”

Depression can affect the lives of everyone, in any stratum.

Regardless if you are rich, poor, or with a disability, no one is immune to anxiety and depression.

However, people who have extreme success are more prone to depression because a person who is successful has chased their own dream and is more protective of it causing isolation and the pressures to keep it a success and not to fail can cause a person to isolate.

People of extreme successes are more prone to criticism there will always be competitors and haters and people just watching and waiting for them to fail.

A person in the public eye may not always have people who will believe in their success.

In this not-so-perfect world where most of us want a perfect life, this is virtually impossible as money cannot buy you happiness. It is a constant battle to please people to have people on the same page as you and there will always be people that are jealous and will say things out of context just to hurt you. It is a constant battle to stay on top which triggers depression in those you’d least expect it. People who are successful, wealthy, and with a disability may find even more pressure to not fail and have to work even harder to get around obstacles. In fact, some of the most successful people in history have suffered from relentless, incapacitating depression – some have won their battles, or, at least, continued to battle, yet some, sadly, succumb to them.

Comparing yourself to the Joneses

People who are extremely successful and very wealthy will always want the best of the best and will always compete with one another to have something grander. This could be the best-hosted party in which mingling with other wealthy people only puts more pressure to make their event even more spectacular. Their competitors, neighbor, or friends dripping with jewels then their jewels would have to be bigger and more expensive, this could also be designer clothes, accessories, cars, properties, etc. They constantly compare themselves to the Joneses. Countries that are low-income, on the other hand, have low depression rates. However even countries with low wealth still like to compete, you should see the graves in Poland the bigger and grander reflects the wealth of the family.

Some people habitually measure their self-worth by materialistic items that they own. Even people of low wealth try to portray they are rich by wearing designer clothes and accessories but in reality, they do not have two pennies to rub together. Not everything that glistens is gold.

Quality Time

People of working or low class have time to delegate their free time whilst a person who is an entrepreneur will be more driven in making their business succeed and may neglect family in order to concentrate on making their business a success. Once at the top of the ladder they will constantly be overprotective to make their business stay in the number one spot. This adds further stress and anxiety and eventually depression.

People of the lower class do not have the same expectations and those of the working or middle or higher class. They may be complacent to what they have and will not be driven to improve their lives they will not have the same pressure as working or middle-class people. Entrepreneurs are on the spectrum of the lower, working, middle and upper class but they have a key goal to succeed. They will battle to climb the ladder. To achieve extreme success, a person needs to dedicate an extraordinary amount of time and effort to get there, which can make for a life that feels precipitous and lonely.

People climbing the ladder may find everyday things that people take for granted like spending time with family mundane and not proactive. Going for leisurely walks or taking time out to exercise may be an ordeal and you will be surprised that many successful people have their own Gyms or exercise bikes in their offices. Also engaging in meaningless conversations and socializing with people that do not have the same vision adds even more pressure to socially disconnect.

Privilege People

People who have been born wealthy and do not have to ever worry about putting food on the table may find it hard to cope if they find themselves in uncharted territory. People born into wealth do not understand and may find it harder to cope with life problems as they have always been shielded from it. Arnold Washton, a psychologist at Compass Health Group said that depression may also be more common in people who have only known wealth, since they may not be familiar with bootstrapping themselves through difficult times. However, people who self-made millionaires or billionaires may be more resilient as they have experienced the struggles of getting to the top and they know what to expect. A self-made millionaire, a billionaire has more authority to teach people about wealth than someone who was born with a silver spoon in their mouth.

The higher you rise the harder you fall.

To be always vigilant and be prepared for disasters and knowing from all the mistakes and failures you have had will give you a building block to start again. Having a stepping stone if things go belly up and being able to reinvent yourself is one key factor to making sure you succeed. If something is not working quite right create another building block. When business is bad, it goes without saying that depression would be more likely. In good economic times, even if every milestone is hit at exactly the right point, some may find that they feel they have failed. Rather than let everything come tumbling down have strategies in place for every economic disaster.

Just because someone is super-wealthy does not mean you have to be less empathetic towards them. By helping them get through their depression will encourage them to help you. The super-rich also have bills to pay and have obligations just like you and I. Obviously our bills are nothing compared to the magnitude of theirs but it’s bills all the same. Unless a person is a ruler of the land or oil tycoon even then the laws of the land may forbid their relatives to live normal lives. Even princesses have attempted to escape certain countries because they want to live normal lives. Knowing a person is depressed regardless of their stature one can only offer a helping hand this could be just an anonymous talk or perhaps advice and links to organizations.

Rich Person Insecurities.

  1. Keeping up with the Jones
  2. Health Issues, Mental Health, Physical and Mental Disabilities
  3. Sealing the Next Deal
  4. Finding Funds for the Next Investment
  5. Shopaholic, Wife, Girlfriend, Partner, Mistress (Over Spending)
  6. Infidelity (Not being satisfied)
  7. Balancing Work and Family Life
  8. Pressures to Succeed and maintain No1 spot
  9. Market Conditions
  10. Untouchable Assets

Wealth/Money cannot buy you health or happiness. Wealth? Money is a tool and a monetary exchange for something you desire. Wealth can satisfy your needs and fill in an empty void, it can help secure your future and your family’s future but it cannot buy you health or happiness. Having material things and assets may make you feel more superior but it will never make you happy.

The key to happiness is knowing that what you do helps others. However to be happy you need to be healthy and you have to treat your body like a temple. If you look after your body it will look after you the spiritual being in the physical body.

If someone is suffering from depression and recognizes they have a problem this does not make them weak. By reaching out to someone is the first step to healing.

Sharing your pain, your worries, and anxieties are the first step to alleviating the problem. A person who is suffering should not suffer alone and needs to reach out to someone or seek professional help.

Regardless of the person’s title or wealth status, we are all human at the end of the day.

Regardless of who you are you can drop us a line you do not have to give your real name and you can set up a Gmail email if you simply feel life is unbearable we are here to lend an ear and we can offer suggestions.

Whatever you are going through you do not have to go through it alone. You are not the first or the last person to suffer and you should not suffer in silence.

#stress #depression #clinicaldepression #ocd #mental health #obsessivecompultivedisorder #bipolar #anxiety #worry #worries #loneliness #therapy #hypnosis #talking #chatting #reachingout #suicideprevention #prescriptiondrugs #antidepressants #famouspeoplewithdepression #richanddepressed

Support & Encouragement

Support & Encouragement

If you can follow like and share complete strangers’ content and worship celebrities then why can you not be supportive to your family, friends, and their businesses?

I will give you an example I did a social experiment yesterday to see how many members of my family would, like, comment, share, or even respond to a text message and Facebook post I had made, even though they are active online.

You will be surprised to know that I had ZERO interaction from them, yet they want me to sit at the same table as them and have dinner with them.

If you can gawk at a TV show for half an hour idolizing celebs you have never met or spend time on social media platforms, why can you not be supportive of friends and family that may rely on likes, shares, and comments to generate more traffic to their businesses?

According to the latest statistics an average person spends 145 minutes every day on social media, or 2 hours and 25 minutes every day. One of the most surprising things is that the figure has gone up by almost a full hour since 2012, so if every person with a smartphone checks their phone for messages and emails to then say they are not connected with the main social media platforms may be telling a white lie. Our brains are wired to release a chemical called dopamine which is a neurotransmitter to make us feel happy, it prompts us to connect online and can be addictive.

It is therefore disappointing to know that these members of my family have totally ignored the message I sent yesterday, in fact, total strangers over 9.5K on LinkedIn alone and I have never met before are more supportive of me online than my own family, which basically says a lot.

Therefore I have to analyse why that could be and this is what I have found.

  1. People are so consumed in their own beliefs and lifestyles and may not understand yours, hence will not be supportive of you.
  2. Others may be insecure about their own dead-end lives and may not want you to succeed for the fear that you might actually make something of yourself and leave them standing. This for all intent and purposes it is jealousy, as they can see you are turning your life around whilst they are stuck in their mundane lives, eating, sleeping, and working with no purpose and most cases up to their eyeballs in debt (mortgages, car loans credit cards, etc). Your life is more exciting than theirs, especially if you are debt-free.
  3. Most people are batteries in the matrix and are programmed and will not support or encourage you because they do not know-how.
  4. Sometimes entrepreneurs may act a little crazy, weird, different, outrageous, and maybe dreamers, believers, trailblazers. This is nothing to be shunned upon in fact it should be celebrated. Yet people do not like anything that is different, they like normal and may label you as eccentric and have reservations and fear that your craziness may rub off on them so they do not comment or interact.
  5. They may think very highly of themselves even going as far as believing they are better than you, so will not be supportive of anything you put your hands to, (which I believe is true). A true friend or sincere family member will reach out to you at least once a month and not a couple of times a year.
  6. Often in entrepreneurship CEOs may make decisions that others would not consider doing as they want to play safely in their mundane lives. They may not support you because they see what you do is a gamble.
  7. If your family or friends see no change in your lifestyle, they may think you are not succeeding and without you proving you have assets they will never believe in you until they see it for themselves, hence will not give you the encouragement as they will assume and presume you are failing.
  8. People may not support you because they do not believe in your values.
  9. They may not understand the concept that the more likes, shares, and comments you have the more traffic it will attract as their friends will see your content also and the cycle continues.

I wrote a post on Linkedin asking if a domain broker does not interact with you on your posts, should you like, share and comment on their posts? I believe everyone that wants exposure should interact with one another, a bit like “I will scratch your back if you scratch mine”. It does not have to be business orientated it could be you as an individual wanting more connections, friend requests, and liked to your posts.

“When someone does not support or encourage you, do what you do twice and take pictures”.

My social experiment was a disaster but my family got the message I was advertising, even though they may deny ever receiving anything from me and not realize the aftermath and consequences of their unresponsive reactions.

There is always a domino effect to everything we do in life. If they are not interested in my life, only when it suits them, then why should I be interested in theirs?

“Their beliefs are not your beliefs”.

“Never tell people your problems, 80% don’t care and the other 20% are glad you have them”.

“Don’t feel bad when people reject you. People usually reject things because they can’t afford them”.

“Never ignore someone who cares about you because someday you’ll realize you lost a diamond when you were busy collecting stones”.

For me, I am trying to not be resentful because the members of my family that have not been supportive in what I do could have helped me by spreading awareness which essentially costs nothing. I do not need empowerment from them, they have had plenty of chances, but it would have been nice to have had a like, comment, and share rather than nothing at all.

In turn, they could have inadvertently helped others like myself that suffer from disabilities to encourage them with kind comments. It is not as if they never received my message as I sent them all a text message which was delivered.

Giving support and encouragement can be uplifting and can change a person’s mood and help with mental health issues. Always be kind and considerate and do think twice before scrolling past a post or completely ignoring a text message, especially if they are friends or family.

My family’s time will come when they will learn the truth of how I actually have felt and how their lack of support has affected my mental health.

I do not dwell on things, just record certain memories for reference. I am learning to disassociate myself from negativity and judgemental people, who are just watching and waiting for you to fail. Never let anyone’s negativity alter your mental state it is their opinion it is no the rest of the world’s opinion and who are they at the end of the day if they are judgemental and unsupportive.

I suppose you live and learn and you carry on.

https://www.thedailypositive.com/32-facts-to-remember-when-people-are-unsupportive/

Coping With Life When You Are Disabled.

Copying With life When You Are Disabled.

I have this methology “if life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. I am not the type of person to whinge and moan, I just make the most of what I have and try to get on with it.

I always keep myself busy and set goals. However my physical and mental disabilities are obstacles that daily I have to get round.

My OCD is by far one of my prominent disabilities and have designed a quarantined cocoon area where only I have access to. This area allows me to be free of any anxieties that I would have in the normal environment. I have adopted this practice to save cleaning my whole home from top to bottom day in and day out. Believe me I used to clean from top to bottom every single day until I realised I was wasting valuable time doing something else.

Keeping myself busy does help to block out intrusive thoughts to a certain degree. I am the worlds worse for critising myself. I try to brain train to reason with myself that what I do is ridiculous and out of character to normal people, but it all is related to stress, anxiety and depression. Depending how stress I am under will depend how well my day will be. If I am super stressed, I find that I cannot concentrate and even do minuscule tasks.

My OCD is germ contamination related and I am even more conscious of my surrounding and the things that I touch. I dislike people visting me and visa versa. I prefer not to go out, hence I am not going out any time soon pandemic regulations or not.

I actually wrote an article on my other blog about germ awareness and cross contamination: https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2021/02/16/saliva-and-mail-cross-contamination-of-germs/

As for my other disabilities:

  • Cerebellar Atrophy (I lose my balance or grip and muddle my words up especially when I write, I also have mental blocks).
  • OCD (I am aware of germ cross contimination and and am careful what I touch).
  • Social Disconnection (I prefer my own company and not go out and socialise, although we can’t anyway but you get my drift).
  • PTSD (I have flashbacks of the physical and mental trauma I endured in the past and certain things trigger my depression).
  • Clinical Depression (This is related to past physical and mental trauma I endured, in which there are days where I go to a dark place).
  • Rheumatoid Arthritis (I cannot bend my knee, again from past physical trauma/abuse).
  • Dysphagia (I sometimes choke of food, I get a painful feeling followed by trouble swallowing and breathing and only when the food is dislodged does the feeling subside, gross I know but what can I do? I have been told I could have surgery but there is no gauarantee that it would work. I am not going to go under the knife for anything, I can tell you that for sure).
  • Epidural Analgesia (Chronic Back Pain, even bending down to feed the cat makes my back spasm, the same goes if I am standing for excessive length of time I have shooting pains from the small of my back to the nape of my neck. Simple taskes like taking out the rubbish or bringing in the grocery shopping has brought tears to my eyes in the past).

So yes I have good days and bad days but I do not dwell on my ailments and try to live the best way I can. I adapt to around my disabilities. Fortuantely for me I offer digital services so I can do 100% of my work online and do not have to venture out.

Stress and worry are contributing factors to my OCD, PTSD, Depression and Social Disconnection.

  • Getting headaches (I have regular headaches)
  • Having stomach cramps (I have a bad stomach most days, but that can be from drinking energy drinks to keep me awake).
  • Not being able to sleep (I find my medication helps me sleep but it takes a few hours for me to wind down, hence I watch a film or play a game, I also read books from time to time).
  • Feeling pains in your chest (I do not get them often but when I do it is scary as I have also experienced jaw ache and shooting pain down my left arm in the past). I have had an ecg scan done and the doctor said there was nothing wrong, yet the same doctor also prescribed antacid ‘Gaviscon’ to my daughter even though she was later diagnosed with MS after I admitted her into A&E.
  • Having constant worring (If I do not keep myself busy I do worry hence I try to keep my mind occupied all the time). Worrying only makes your health deteriorate and although life struggles can get in the way of your happiness, one needs to find a way to tackle the problem we are faced with, rather than sweep them under the carpet. Confronting your inner demons makes you stronger. Sometimes simply writing down your problems is the first step to dealing with whatever is on your mind. Talking to a friend or family member also helps but for me expessing my emotions in the form of a blog is theraputic in itself.
  • Having panic attacks (I only get these if I have to meet negative people). People that judge or critise, you know the people I am talking about or if I have a deadline in work or something that I have seen or heard that has triggered the onset of sheer panic. However for most part I am organised and know to how to avoid trigger warnings, so panic attacks are subdued.
  • Feeling shortness of breath, (I only get this if I cannot swallow due to my Dysphagia or at times when I have in the past been in distress, due to the trauma and abuse I endured).
  • Having mood swings with friends or family (I avoid socialising so no one knows my moods and no one can be on the tail end if I do have a bad day).
  • Finding it hard to feel happy (Continuously reassuring myself and staying positive that what I am doing will eventually change my life for the better, is enough to motivate me to get up and tackle every day tasks).

Although I was going to do a daily/weekly journal of my health, I am not able to do so at present as I have many projects I am working on and simply do not have the time, but I always try to strive to stay focused and optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day.

Obviously adopting a healthy lifestyle can help with coping with life struggles, such as:

  • Regular Exercise
  • Breathing Exercise
  • Meditation
  • Eating Healthily
  • Brain Training
  • Learning New Things
  • Staying Focused
  • Being Organised
  • Setting Goals
  • Time Management
  • Avoiding Negative People
  • Learning to Trust People
  • Motivation
  • Talking to Family and Friends About Your Troubles
  • Discussing your Problems with Professionals, Health, Finance, Relationships etc

Final Thoughts!

I am a disabled entrepreneur and I have created a business round my disabilities. The way I saw it when I first started out, I would not fit in or be accepted in a normal working enviroment and I am the most happiest I have ever been for a long time doing what I do and it works for me. So the way I see it is my disabilities are a blessing in disguise, as I would not be where I am today without them.

I avoid negative judgemental people especially if they have power trips (Trolls especially that have nothing better to do than try an bring a person down, these get immediately blocked).

As for me I will help anyone that genuinely needs my help. I am very good at analysing people and situations and I am very astute.

Stay safe, stay focused and stay motivated, nothing stays the same forever unless you let it…

Intimidation & Mental Health Issues.

INTIMIDATION.

Intimidation is intentional behavior performed by someone in which it causes another person (the victim) fear either by physical or psychological injury or harm.

A perpetrator knows what they are doing and will want to gain control of a situation by making their victim feel insecure.

Intimidation can cause psychological damage which will make the victim question themselves, which may lead to depression or suicide.

Intimidation in the workplace can make your office environment to be a toxic place to work in.

When your boss or coworker is subjecting you to intimidation in the workplace your mental health will be affected and you may even find you have no choice but to quit your job if the constant bullying becomes unbearable.

What does Intimidation in the Workplace Look Like?

Workplace intimidation, which is also called workplace bullying, happens when someone superior to you or a coworker uses psychological threats, blackmail or verbal abuse to manipulate an employee to do things in order to feel superior over that person (the victim).

Intimidation may become apparant from the start by the superior showing they are above you. It does not have to be gradual as you may be told by your co-workers that the boss is on the prowl and that you have to jump through hoops to please him or her.

In some cases it may be made apparant over time, where the perpetrator accesses the victims weakness and plays on their insecurities. This does not have to be in the workplace it could be a friend, neighbour, partner or landlord. Basically anyone that has control over you in some way and feels they are superior to you can potentially intimidate you if you let them.

Intimidation can be:

  • Physical violence or threats
  • Raising Voices
  • Ignoring you and your requests
  • Being Hostile physical posturing
  • Humiliating, ridiculing or insulting you in front of coworkers or customers
  • Intentionally dicing you work outside your expertise
  • Purposely finding faults with your work or assigning errors to you that are not your responsibility
  • Copying your ideas and taking credit for your work
  • Sabotaging your work or setting you up to fail
  • Raising the bar for success or setting up different standards for the targeted employee
  • Interfering with your ability to work
  • Highlighting the fact that your are dispensable, that you could loose your job if your work is not up to scratch
  • Showing superiority so that you feel insecure and putting the victim in their place, reminding the victim why they are where they are and how things could eaily change, playing on the victims insecurities.
  • Intimidation that can cause your mental health to change, such as spreading lies.
  • Making the employee feel unwelcome or singled out in social events.

Illegal Workplace Discrimination.

When there is intimidation in workplace it can easily cross the line into illegal workplace discrimination.

This applies to conduct based on:

  • Race
  • Color
  • National origin
  • Sex or gender
  • Pregnancy
  • Religion
  • Disability
  • Age

If an employer makes employment decisions that hinders your job role and assignments or allows its employees to create a hostile work environment, you may be able to make a discrimiantion claim against the employer. If your employer doesn’t live up to its promises or comply with its anti-harassment policies, you may be able to sue based on a breach of contract claim.

Regarless if intimidation is made in the workplace or in another environment such as a landlord intimidating a tenant for example you do have rights and you can find the relevant help in order that you are no longer intimidated and can live a life without feeling insecure. Nobody should live in fear.

**If you have problems at home with your landlord you should contact your local council office.

Your council should have a tenancy relations officer or a housing team who can help.

The council could:

Form N16A: Application for injunction (General form)

Use this general injunction form to ask the court to order a person, company or organisation to do something or not to do something.

n16a-eng

Why People Do Not Care.

Why do people not care?

There are various reasons why someone does not care.

  1. The person has had parents that have not shown any love or affection
  2. This applies to men, where their social upbringing tells them that crying makes them weak and to man up if they are hurting and not to be a big girl’s blouse. Hence men may not show emotion.
  3. A person may have built a defense mechanism to shield themselves from harm.
  4. A person may be brainwashed by political or religious groups.
  5. The person has been abused, physically, mentally or both (domestic violence).
  6. The person was raped.
  7. The person was traumatised by grief of losing a loved one.

People only care if they are directly affected by something or someone. This could be their beliefs in which they would be advocates or for people that they know such as family, friends and sometimes even co-workers. It the social connection people have with one another that allows them to show emotion to another person.

The only other times people will care is they are on the job and must, i.e. Doctors & Nurses, Firefighters, Care-workers (who are doing good for society as a whole rather than getting personal) or if a person randomly witnesses someone that needs their help like for example if someone was injured or dying. Volunteering is an act of kindness but does not mean necessarily you care about an individual but more so about a cause.

However, if you are doing good does not always mean you care it is how you want to be perceived by others. Doing good for society can only be praised and it’s our acts of kindness without getting personal that help us be better people and make a difference in the world. By helping with a cause, one could be passionate about something and may want to make a mark in society that they have tried to do good, call it a legacy if you will. Our emotions should not be confused with our acts of kindness (we do not have to care to be kind, it could be our moral duty to be kind). Kindness is an act of compassion that relates to wisdom, confidence, and courage. Kindness is a strength we have to help others. Being compassionate is an attitude we have to deal with a problem.

People that show no emotion at all or are controlling are called narcissists. However not everyone is without empathy.

Most people care about their family and friends but will not extend to strangers. That is why there are so many homeless people because if society cared they would try to help or take them in. Not all homeless people are junkies and even if they were, there are rehab centers and shelters they can go to if people took a moment to help them out of their busy life rather than walk on by.

How many of us have thrown a penny or two at a homeless person or thought “get a job”? (Before you say anything this has never crossed my mind but I bet you a bottom dollar it has to so many people). How many of us have stopped to ask if that person is ok or bought them hot food or a drink ( I know I have) or even given them something warm to wear.

Small acts of kindness will go a long way.

“I for one will show empathy to someone less fortunate than myself rather than an able-bodied person. The reason for this is I have built a barrier around myself and am extremely careful who I am associated with. I have trusted so many people in th past that have betrayed me and caused me harm. I am now extremely cautious about who I let in. I find keeping myself to myself is the best form of practice”. I will sooner help a vulnerable person because they need my help not because I care but because it is my moral duty as a human being to help someone less fortunate than myself.

It does not say much about a person that walks on by and does nothing.

Mother Theresa once said “If I look at the mass I will never act. If I look at the one, I will.” These are the words of a woman whose acts of charity and kindness earned her sainthood.

For some people a single death can seem like a tragedy, however, we cannot connect to amass loss of life unless we are somehow associated with that loss. Most often than not, the deaths of many simply become a statistic, something that happened to someone else, elsewhere.

For me, I have to be stricken by grief 3 times, never mind all other bad things that have happened to me, which I will be writing in my book”.

Seeing millions of lives lost through natural disasters, wars or to famine is just news that happened somewhere else and did not affect us directly hence we cannot associate ourselves with it.

We can become numb to the news that we hear, and our compassion can be consumed by our day to day living.

Paul Slovic, a psychologist at the University of Oregon who has studied psychic numbing for decades said “One is that it doesn’t deal with numbers in magnitude very well. If we’re talking about lives, one life is tremendously important and valuable and we’ll do anything to protect that life, save that life, rescue that person. But as the numbers increase, our feelings don’t commensurately increase as well.”

Paul Slovic’s research suggests that as statistical numbers associated with a tragedy get larger and larger, we become desensitized show less empathy. Therefore, this can make is less likely to act. Global disasters make people disassociate themselves from the atrocities and they start to become complacent that because it did not affect them there is little they can do and simply carry on with their lives like as if it never happened, even going on to say that they “feel bad” about what has happened but what can they do. Feeling bad which is showing sympathy is different from showing empathy.

Empathy is the ability to understand other people’s feelings just as we have experienced ourselves. Sympathy on the other hand is the ability to take part in someone else’s feelings, mostly by feeling sorrowful about their misfortune, in which we can dissociate.

The same goes with the Coronavirus Covid-19 Pandemic because we have not been affected by it directly only indirectly some people will have a blasé attitude and may not take it as seriously as it is meant to be. This leads to a kind of apathy that makes people complacent about hand washing or wearing masks.

People who say they care in one breathe but do nothing to help a person in need in another breathe are false. The ones that say “I would if I could, but I can’t” are simply making excuses, because everyone can help if they tried.

If say someone has financial problems and the other person cannot help them out as they too have financial problems of their own, one still can help the person out by problem-solving and researching the best options available.

I wonder next time you ask someone to help you how many will come forward….

Further reading: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200630-what-makes-people-stop-caring

Clinical Depression.

What is depression.

Depression is a feeling we have that sets our emotions and our moods to become very low. This feeling can last for weeks or many months.

Depression is not about feeling sad for a few days it is about the prolonged feeling we cannot shake. Depression is not about being weak. It is a real illness. Depression is feeling persistently sad for weeks or months, rather than just a few days.

Symptoms of depression include the feeling of unhappiness or feeling hopelessness. Our emotions at low levels cause us to have low self-esteem, lose confidence, and general interest in everyday life. At this level, we no longer care about ourselves and what is going on around us. We no longer can focus properly and need to be steered in the right direction.

What is clinical depression.

Clinical depression is the more severe form of depression, also known as major depression or major depressive disorder. It isn’t the same as depression caused by a loss of a loved one or a medical condition. It is a deep state of very low self-esteem, where you may have thoughts of suicide. This type of depression makes a person feel there is no way out and they simply want to stop themselves from feeling so miserable.

Clinical Depression is a like being in a very deep dark tunnel with no light at the end of it.

What would have made us happy once is no longer enjoyable? Clinical Depression can cause people to go into isolation away from other people. Facing people can be difficult and the avoidance of admitting there is something wrong is lessened if a person with depression goes into solitary confinement.

People with depression are less likely to answer their phones or socialize. However, this can lead to loneliness which can turn into a vicious circle that sometimes a person cannot get out of.

Some people with depression turn to drink alcohol excessively or using recreational drugs. Some become dependant on prescription drugs that they may abuse.

Depression can be set off by stressful or traumatic events at home or at work or even at School, College, or University. Stress could be caused by being put under pressure and the fear of failing or losing or having lost something or someone.

Self-employed people who have jobs that require fast results may under pressure have an overwhelming feeling of fear, sadness, and hopelessness. Entrepreneurs have to work even harder to put food on the table unlike a job with a regular wage. An entrepreneur may have the added pressure of paying for all his business overheads, staffs wages, and getting more business in before paying him/herself. Some people simply cannot cope and crack under the strain.

Depression could also be caused by the emotion of feeling sad from problems in your personal life with a partner or it could be because of your personality or family history, it could even be from giving birth (Post Natal Depression). Depression could be simply accepted into society or having to be under a tremendous amount of strain to pass a test or find your next job. It could be that you have been made redundant and feel your life is crumbling right in front of you. The pressure of paying your bills and your mortgage can sometimes drive a person to breaking point.

There are many reasons why people become depressed it could be financial problems and the fear of your life spiraling out of control. The feeling that perhaps you have no one to turn to.

I have listed useful links below including Samaritans.

Whatever the cause, believe it or not, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and there is always someone you can talk to.

It’s amazing how many people are suffering from depression but simply do not know where to turn to or that there are others experiencing exactly the same emotions as you.

Talking to someone always helps and there are many support groups around to help you. Samaritans will talk to you confidentially any time of the day or night 7 days a week. They won’t ask you personal questions or even your name. You can even block your telephone number if it makes you feel better. They will give you ideas and options of how you can get out of the dark spell you under. Remember there is a problem with every solution, you just need to know where to look.

Nothing can be so bad that cannot be fixed.

Useful Links:

What is Anxiety

What is Stress

What is Depression

Suicide Healthline

SAMARITANS.org

MIND.org.uk

YoungMinds.org.uk

Further reading:

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/clinical-depression/#overview

https://www.nhs.uk/oneyou/every-mind-matters/coronavirus-covid-19-staying-at-home-tips/

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/coronavirus/coronavirus-and-your-wellbeing/

OCD – Tongue in Cheek Humour

In light of what is happening right now with the Coronavirus Covid-19 Pandemic, we have to look on the bright side of things whilst also being serious about what we are going through globally as well appreciating that some people with mental health and OCD may be terrified of venturing out.

I suffer from OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder – Contamination of Germs) I have suffered from this for about 35 years now and have coped to a certain degree, but always found that if I was in a public place where I was not comfortable being in, especially if I had to sit down or touch elevator buttons or door handles I always made sure I was equipped with tissue paper and a small spray bottle of disinfectant.

So even though I have this disability I am still approachable and am not a ‘freak’ or a ‘ car crash’ as I have been called in the past. People can be very cruel.

I am normal to a certain extent I still do everything other people do but with limitations, the only difference is when I feel insecure my barriers come up and I try to protect myself from harm by socially distancing myself from the outside world.

People deal with stress and anxiety differently, some smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol, or take drugs recreational or prescribed.

I must admit I am on medication but all it does is mellow me out and I usually take it a night time before I go to sleep to stop me feeling zombified during the day. I have trouble sleeping, so if anything it does its job. If anyone is wondering I am on ‘Mirtazapine’ 30 mg tablets.

So even though as an OCD sufferer the following video made me laugh and I would not go to these lengths, there is an element of seriousness involved as some people may take it to the extreme. Always try to understand a person if they are doing something that you may not necessarily do, they have their reasons for doing things like cleaning the seat before sitting down. Worst case scenario for me if I was not able to disinfect the seating would be to wash my clothes as soon as I got in.

Obviously, this video is a joke as someone with OCD would not allow for anything to touch the floor (the spray bottle and backpack touched the floor).

Since Lockdown back in March, I have not ventured out other than to meet and greet Amazon drivers, the postman, or grocery delivery drivers.

I find staying away gives me some sense of security and I prefer it that way until I am confident to venture into the big bad world again.

I even bought myself a set of my own cutlery which is stainless steel and also good for camping and kids’ lunch boxes.

Mine came with two cases a soft a case and a hard case.

For all intents and purposes, I have recommended a similar one to the one I bought which I think may have sold out.

Do use the radio buttons to scroll from low prices to high and don’t forget to use Amazon Prime if you are subscribed, which I am.

The things I will never leave home without is hand sanitizer, a travel spray bottle of decanted Dettol. A quick burst of this on surfaces kills germs instantaneously. Because Dettol has been hard to source I usually buy it bulk on Amazon along with disposable gloves. I prefer the Nitrile or Vinyl gloves rather than the latex versions which are like party balloons and rip easier. In fact, I just bought the very same box of gloves I am advertising only today as a matter of fact. They used to be readily available at the beginning of the year and they did cost £49.99 for ten boxes but as you can see they have increased in value to £79.99 it is still better than paying £12.00 plus for a box of 100 gloves. It is was it is and it will take care of my needs for about a month.

Here are my recommendations.

Do stay safe and be germ aware!