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Category: Social Disconnection (Page 1 of 2)

Social disconnection is a general term to describe the lack of social connection, emotional response, and physical engagement with other people, which covers structural and functional measurements such as social isolation, loneliness, and despair. However, some people choose social disconnection by choice, avoiding surrounding themselves with negativity. A lot of successful perfectionist entrepreneurs prefer not to socialize and rather focus on their businesses.

My OCD, My Story!

November 15, 2022 / / 0 Comments
Image Credit:
https://www.lanc.org.uk/related-conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/

My OCD the Story of Renata Entrepreneur

My OCD is germ contamination that started 38 years ago but was diagnosed in1992.

This surgery has moved and DR Dolben has retired. My medical records including this letter would be on the system. My medical records are now held at Meddygfa Albany Surgery 219-221 City Road Roath Cardiff CF24 3JD and the head Doctor is Dr. Capatana.

Symptoms

In the beginning, I started to adopt unusual habits I did not understand what it was or why I was doing it other than I had to release the impulsive urge otherwise it would torment me. There was no internet back then so could not google it.

Looking back now my mother had similar traits but not as bad as me and some were a little different.

When I tried telling my mother in her later years she was in complete denial. My father was not happy because he did not know what OCD was and did not like me whipping out Dettol Surface Spray every five minutes and simply thought I had a screw loose.

What is OCD

OCD is a common debilitating condition affecting individuals from childhood through adult life. There is good evidence of genetic contribution to its etiology, but environmental risk factors also are likely to be involved. The condition probably has a complex pattern of inheritance. Molecular studies have identified several potentially relevant genes, but much additional research is needed to establish definitive causes of the condition. Genetics of OCD – PMC (nih.gov)

Stress & Depression are the root cause of OCD.

Hereditary OCD.

My mother had OCD, for example, when we came home from school my mother would make us stand in a small area in the kitchen to take our shoes off, we would then have to go upstairs immediately and stand on a newspaper to take our uniform off and get changed.

My mother had a habit of checking the soles of our shoes or even guest shoes as no one could come into the house without taking them off in the corridor. I reckon if anyone caught her doing what she did they would be mortified.

All grocery shopping would have to be washed with detergent before it could go in the cupboards. Obviously, some foods such as bakeries would have the outer packaging wiped with a dishcloth.

My mother had problems with newspapers and mail (just like me), she was careful how she opened them, everything had to be in a certain place and could not be touched unless it was in a certain area of the house and we would have to discard the outer envelopes and wash our hands.

My father’s jacket would always be inspected for dirt, especially on the hem and sleeves after he hung it up. I think her OCD put a strain on their marriage, although I think they had problems way before she developed the disorder which I believe was a direct consequence of how my father treated her.

Ongoing studies point to a genetic defect in the way the front area of the brain communicates with deeper areas. These deeper structures use serotonin, a chemical messenger. Images of the brain in some people with OCD show that these defective communication circuits work more normally with serotonin-based medications or cognitive behavior therapy. OCD Causes: Is OCD Genetic, Hereditary? | HealthyPlace

The start of my OCD symptoms.

I was 21 when I started to develop OCD traits, it was whilst I was in a relationship with someone who took advantage of his position in a Bank he worked in, and any attractive-looking female customers he would look for their names, addresses, and phone numbers up and phone them to ask them out for dates (obviously this would never be allowed to happen now because of GDPR but as I got more suspicious that he was playing away I phoned the numbers that he would leave lying around and the women would confirm that they went out with him. It is amazing no one reported him because he is now a regional bank manager thanks to me finding the job in a job center and applying on his behalf somewhat 38 years ago.

The straw that broke the camel’s back.

I think the straw that broke the camel’s back was when out of the blue with no notice at all he said it was over between us. To be honest I was madly in love with him (he looked like a young version of Tom Cruise a spitting image of Top Gun Movie 1 and now looks more like David Cameron MP (Yes I have looked him up and blocked him). I would have taken a bullet for him (my ex not the MP), regardless of what he did.

In my heart, I forgave him as long as we would stay together, but pressure from his parents especially his mother did not approve of me as the daughter of a working-class immigrant who wanted her precious son to have a more upper-class suitor. His sister was also never a fan because it was her boyfriend that arranged a blind date that got us together and at the last minute bailed only to ask her brother to take his place. I was not aware of how much grief this would cause, and I would have been pissed if the roles were reversed and it happened to me, so did not blame her for being angry. She ended up breaking up with her boyfriend after that.

I knew at heart of hearts there was something very seriously wrong in our relationship (with my ex) and that he was a player. I started to wash my hands and body in ‘Dettol Antiseptic Disinfectant’ liquid, which either would be undiluted on my hands or mixed in my shower gels and shampoos because I believed I wanted to wash the other women’s scent off me when he was intimate with me.

To this day I will only use Dettol Brand, I use it when I bathe and also when I wash my clothes. It cannot be any other brand other than Dettol.

I think what escalated my OCD was when I found out he was visiting brothels and he caught an STD, by that time we were not having sex but the thought of him having crabs grossed me out. It’s a long story about how I found out and it will be in my autobiography when I publish it.

I then started to be very vigilant about my surroundings, I started to have the shower curtain outside the bath, which would cause the floor to get wet and also get him angry, which in turn caused arguments. I could not stand the shower curtain clinging to me as I was showering and to this day I have not changed this habit. I now have a glass folding door fitted in my own bathroom.

After we broke up I think I must have had a nervous breakdown. I thought my life was over and I so desperately wanted him back, I realized why he no longer wanted to be with me because he met someone that worked at the bank (I believe everything happens for a reason, had I not found him that job, things would have maybe turned out differently) but looking at it now he did me a favor. I then decided to move away so that I would never bump into him again. I have since blocked him on all social media so if he was ever to look me up he would never have a hope in hell of ever speaking to me.

Coping with OCD over the years.

Over the years and depending on what was going on in my life I have good days and bad days but I learned to cope and adapt.

I did keep my OCD hidden for many years as I was very embarrassed to admit there was something wrong with me.

It was when people in public places bumped into me (busy towns) I started to have an issue with social connection. When using public transport I hated people sitting next to me. It got to the stage I would avoid buses altogether and it really rattled me when someone would push past me or if they bumped into me (say sorry) my argument would be if I was a car and there was a collision they would be doing more than apologizing.

I would find it hard to go to restaurants and cafes and have my own set of cutlery. I became vigilant about how the server served the drinks and how close to the rim of the glass their fingers would be. I ended up drinking from straws. I have been known to clean the seat before sitting down, this would get people to give me funny looks. Imagine sitting on a seat where the previous person has sat who may have tram lines in his or her undergarments.

My OCD is germ contamination. My impulse is not to touch unsanitized objects and my compulsion is to clean and disinfect whatever I am in contact with.

I have now opted out of socializing, it’s embarrassing to wear latex gloves in public. There is a stigma attached to people that behave differently from the rest of the batteries in the matrix. The chances of being judged or ridiculed are too much for me to bear.

I prefer to live behind a computer screen than interact with the outside world.

Don’t get me wrong I would venture out if I had to, but try to avoid it as much as possible. I would take extra precautionary measures and try to overcome my anxiety.

I have all my groceries, prescriptions and shopping delivered. There is nothing I cannot do but it all has to be done online. All statements and invoices are online.

I also have a problem with flies (fruit flies in particular) but flies in general that sits on dog poo and then sit on your surfaces really turn my stomach. In the summer months, I am armed with fly spray by the dozen.

My Compulsions

My compulsions, I do try and fight as much as I can, say, for instance, if I have touched something by accident, I will go and change my clothes. However, there have been instances where I have not been able to sanitize expensive things and have had to through them away. I remember when my daughter was little and she stepped in dog poo, I ended up throwing out her shoes.

I cannot share my bath with anyone else other than my daughter. I cannot let anyone touch anything that belongs to me such as a laptop, books, or that kind of thing.

I cannot have someone sit next to me or touch me. Even my daughter’s cat knows not to jump on my seating area, although if he has brushed himself by accident against me I immediately have to take my leggings off to be washed.

I go through about 1000 pairs of gloves per month and use two bottles of 750 ml antiseptic disinfectant a week. I spent about £800 on this alone last year (I know this from doing my tax return).

The more stressed I am the worse my OCD gets. If people put pressure on me and cause me stress and anxiety the more it flares up.

My Triggers

  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • Reminders of the trauma and grief I endured
  • Intrusive Thoughts
  • My Personal Belonging Being Touched
  • Germ Contamination
  • Being Touched (Hugs)
  • Flies (Insects)
  • Dog Poo (cat poo or bird poo is not so bad, it is dog poo that is a trigger for me)
  • Animal Hair (especially dog hair)
  • Shaking Hands (how many people actually wash their hands when they go to the toilet)
  • Kissing
  • Sharing Plates of Food
  • Public Places that are not sanitized
  • Half-finished projects or errors that need correcting (I cannot leave an error for another day I have to correct it there and then)

Different Kinds Of OCD

As the internet evolved I started learning more and more about the different kinds of OCD. https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/different-types-of-ocd/

I was also surprised by how many famous people have OCD (alive and dead)

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/famous-people-with-ocd/

MPs Charles Walker and Kevan Jones tell of mental health issues – BBC News

Social Disconnection

It is not that unusual for entrepreneurs to socially disconnect: https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/social-disconnection-entrepreneurs/

Keeping grief hidden can be a survival strategy after suffering a bereavement. New research shows that the social disconnection caused by concealing feelings of loss can increase psychological distress.

Social Disconnection is not always about OCD it could relate to other psychological distress disorders.

Every person on this planet will endure grief at some point in their lives. It will depend on how they cope which will determine the final outcome.

My Therapy.

I find that scripting in a journal helps (I do it online but you can do it in a book, it’s down to personal preference at the end of the day) to get whatever off my chest. I have also tried meditation and hypnosis and you need to stick to it and do it religiously for it to work.

I have tried psychotherapy and CBT therapy and it only works in the short term. Speaking to shrink every week having to talk about the things you would rather forget is counterproductive. As for CBT, it is a therapy to change your thought process and resist the urge of the compulsion, the only way this kind of therapy works is under hypnosis which the NHS does not provide, and if you try and do it yourself you have to religiously work at it (miracles do not happen overnight).

I have self-hypnotized myself successfully although it is short-lived because I have to do it every day or a few times a week, in which I do not have the time for, considering I am working all day I am too tired and just want to go to sleep.

Self Help & Self Hypnosis

I also take prescribed medication, not that it helps my OCD in fact all it does is help me fall asleep. I would not mind doing clinical trials of magic mushrooms (Psilocybin) which I have heard can help sufferers with OCD. It is illegal to harvest or use them, without medical supervision. They are considered Class A drugs.

Magic-mushroom drug can treat severe depression, trial suggests – BBC News

How Magic Mushrooms Can Resolve OCD – Happy Herb Company

The campaign to use magic mushrooms in OCD treatment | Psychonaut Care

How Psilocybin Mushrooms Can Treat Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) (sagebrains.com)

Magic mushroom compound performs as well as antidepressant in small study | Imperial News | Imperial College London

I keep myself busy and I am constantly learning about my disease so that I can not only help myself but help others like me.

I try to resist my urges as much as I can.

Germ Contamination

I am very vigilant about germ awareness and cross-contamination.

Motivating & Empowering & Advocate of OCD

I am an advocate for people with OCD. This is one of the reasons why I built this site to help people not only with mental but physical disabilities.

My daughter has Multiple Sclerosis and there are certain things she finds difficult to do so I arrange her appointments and respond to her every whim at least five hours a day. I am her personal assistant and care for her needs. I support her not only as her mother but also as her carer. Just because I have OCD does not stop me from doing things inside my home, with PPE. I can help her with getting in and out of the bath, just like any nurse wearing PPE clothing, such as disposable gloves and disposable hygiene coats. I can also cook and clean for her and help with anything she needs. Because of her immunosuppression, it is an added bonus that I keep our home sanitized and germ-free.

She is the assistant editor of this site. She suffers from excruciating pain which is one of the symptoms of (MS). and she is on the highest dosage of medication possible to be prescribed on a monthly basis.

In fact, altered functional connectivity between the cerebellum and cerebral networks involved in cognitive-affective processing in patients with OCD provides further evidence for the involvement of the cerebellum in the pathophysiology of OCD & MS and is consistent with impairment in executive control and emotion.

Stress & Cognitive Function. | DISABLED ENTREPRENEUR – DISABILITY UK

My daughter has a problem with symmetry and even numbers.

Just because you have a disability you still can strive to follow your dream even though you may have limitations there is usually a solution to every problem and you can overcome obstacles. There is nothing you cannot do if you put your mind to it.

Final Thoughts

Many neurodevelopmental conditions can often co-exist together, although can be treated in different ways.  

https://www.lanc.org.uk/related-conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/

OCD rears its ugly head when you find it difficult to cope with life, OCD can be the onset of trauma and grief.

Stress, Anxiety, and everyday struggles can cause your OCD to get worse especially when people try to undermine, humiliate, and judge you. Try to not let anything get to you and if you want your own space to write your own personal story, just drop me a line below and I will create a landing page, free of charge. Whatever your disability may be mental or physical you can write to your heart’s content about yourself and your daily struggles. People love reading stories they can relate to.

Since coming out as an OCD sufferer I have been made to feel as if I am bonkers by Personal Independence Payments (PIP). They have made me feel like I have no authority to speak on disabilities even though I am the Editor of this website and have a Diploma in OCD hypnotherapy. I do not practice hypnotherapy and only took the course to help me. As I mentioned previously for hypnotherapy to work it is a process that has to be done religiously on a regular basis. You cannot just hypnotize yourself in one session and expect miracles.

Whilst practicing hypnosis I have got myself into a very relaxed state.

It has helped me to a certain degree to resist my compulsions but has not eradicated my germ contamination obsession problem.

Furthermore, another day comes with more added stress and anxiety and I feel all my hard work has been a waste of time whereby I have just gone back to square one. I really should practice hypnotherapy every day for it to make some difference, yet never seem to find the time. My business comes first, as that is what pays the bills and brings food to the table.

I am not going to let PIP get to me, as a lot of the assessors have fewer qualifications than ‘Greta Thunberg’ who also happens to suffer from OCD. Discussion of Greta Thunberg, OCD, & Polarization | Dave Armstrong (patheos.com)

Renata Hypnotherapy Diploma

Use the contact form below to drop me a line:

#obsessivecompulsivedisorder #ocd #mentalhealth #intrusivethoughts #germawareness #germcontamination #ocdcymru

Social Disconnection a Personal Perspective.

October 30, 2022 / / 1 Comment

Social Disconnection a Personal Perspective.

I won’t name the person that said to me today, to go find a shrink. This person is one of my close network of connections and I found the comment rude and degrading. According to this individual I obviously, I need to go to the looney bin because I am finding it hard to cope with stress and anxiety.

When I counter reacted by saying I do not want to speak to anyone about my health and much rather prefer self-help therapy, the person said how is that working out for me?

When I said I have a diploma this person said that the diploma obviously was not legit.

PROFESSIONAL-HYPNOTHERAPY-FOR-HOARDING-AND-OCD-DIPLOMA-COURSE

No matter how I try to prove my education it’s as if nothing ever is good enough for this person. I sense this person does not want me to succeed.

I am done with negative people in my life that chose to judge me even though they have not walked in my shoes. As Nikola Tesla once said “Intelligent people tend to have fewer friends than the average person. The smarter you are the more selective you become” Let’s just say I am picky about who I chose to keep company with.

Social disconnection worsens mental health after a loss, grief, or trauma.

This same person has suffered some of the loss I have endured and sitting on their high and mighty throne casting judgment, has not got a clue about my struggles, although they will when my autobiography is published.

I said I have social disconnection issues and this person said so I am angry with the world. On the contrary, I am protecting myself from the world because I have been hurt too many times.

If anything, I have trust issues rather than anger problems.

People that have done you wrong should be called out, that is what the internet is for to name and shame people/companies that have not supplied an adequate service. https://www.trustpilot.com/

Once bitten twice shy so to speak, I am warier of my surroundings. I am safer behind my computer screen than intermingling with the outside world.

Social disconnection is a survival strategy after suffering a bereavement or trauma. However new research shows that the social disconnection caused by concealing feelings of loss can increase psychological distress.

People suffering from grief may find it difficult and may be afraid of opening up to others. Fear of becoming overwhelmed by feelings in front of friends and family can lead the bereaved to avoid social contact altogether.

Research, funded by the NIHR Oxford Health Biomedical Research Centre, showed that being socially disconnected is linked to worse psychological health following a loss.

Dr. Kirsten Smith, the lead author of the paper, added:

‘As a nation, we are currently experiencing unprecedented amounts of loss in the face of the COVID-19 pandemic. The study speaks to the need to reach out to those who may have suffered a bereavement.’

Dr. Smith relates the research findings to the stiff-upper-lip attitude that we often see in western societies and the idea that keeping our grief hidden is part of survival.  In fact, evidence shows that pushing emotions away results in a rebound effect which is more likely to result in problems.

The new research clearly points to the importance of emotional connectedness following a loss. So, what can we do in practical terms to support the bereaved? Dr. Smith suggests staying in regular contact with bereaved family and friends. Dr. Smith urges ‘Let them know you care, keep checking in even if they don’t feel ready to talk yet.  Even though physical distance is currently necessary emotional distance doesn’t need to be.’

When the person is ready to open up, you must be ready to lend an ear or shoulder to cry on. You should never make the person feel as if the issue they are facing is trivial. It may be trivial to you, but it may feel like the world has opened up and wants to swallow them. Do not say that you have done nothing to help yourself, or you need to talk to a shrink.

What is your family for if you cannot turn to them?

Do not say things like chin up, or you will get over it.

Some of the loss I have endured I am still grieving 18 years later, but have found ways of coping by writing my thoughts down. https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/how-to-deal-with-grief/

Dr. Kirsten Smith’s paper was published in Clinical Psychological Science.

Let them know you care – social disconnection worsens mental health after a loss

Ironically the same person I opened up to about my health in an email I sent promised to respond and never did. I drew the conclusion the person did not want to deal with my trauma and could not support me yet has the audacity to judge me. Perhaps if I talked it through, I may have felt better.

I choose to socially disconnect as I find this is my way of coping.

My self-help therapy is to remove negativity from my life.

#grief #bereavement #loss #trauma #ptsd #stress #anciety #depression #selfhelptherapy

Renata’s Online Health Journal Update 2022!

September 4, 2022 / / 0 Comments

Renata’s Online Health Journal Update 2022!

“People who shy away from people with mental health disorders or disabilities and label people as damaged goods usually have their own demons to contend with”.

I need to vent and let off steam before I blow a gasket.

The last few months have taken a toll on my health. As most of you know I am the Editor of ‘Disability UK – Disabled Entrepreneur Online Journal’ and have come to near enough a standstill with my business because of my health.

My Disabilities are Invisible.

I sometimes am so depressed it takes a lot of effort to do anything, these days.

Renata’s Online Journal Health Report

The following is a snippet of what I am going through.

I am disabled, I suffer from Cerebellar Atrophy, OCD, and Depression so it is no surprise that I have highs and lows. Yet most recently I have been experiencing very bad lows.

I do not have a support system and my GP is as useful as a chocolate fire guard. https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/gp-doctor-negligence-evidence/ To understand my health you will have to understand how the last few months have been for me and what I have gone through and am still going through.

Events 2022.

  1. I have been through war and back with ‘British Gas’, which I have reported to ‘Ombudsman’ who in turn report to ‘OFGEM’. ‘British Gas’ caused me humiliation, intimidation, harassment, and emotional distress.
  2. In another incident I had 40 emails from a credit card issuer (situation now under control), again I have experienced, humiliation, intimidation, harassment, and emotional distress. (They gave me £100 as a gesture of goodwill, with the understanding that if I endure more harassment I will report them to the Ombudsman). I know what they will say but she accepted the £100, which is just a band-aid on a gaping wound.
  3. Most recently my laptop started having a blue screen and eventually died, I have not been able to do anything online for about a week. I have simply used my phone to read and reply to emails and do research. This started making me sink into a very dark place.
  4. I then had a brand new computer and not even a week old I ended up with a BSOD, you just can’t make this stuff up. https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2022/08/24/lenovo-or-windows-fault-blue-screen-of-death-bsod-2022/
  5. My internet is intermittent, and I am getting the blame game excuse (it’s not us it must be you), this is an ongoing issue in which they gave 3 months of free broadband, but the issues are starting to happen again. Virgin Media Outage in Cardiff, Wales: Current Problems and Outages • Is The Service Down? UK
  6. I have lost clients due to the rise in the cost of living and them not being able to afford their websites. (No help for small businesses I hear your cry, and yes the rich get richer and the poor get poorer).

My health.

  • I am very depressed.
  • My OCD has spiraled off the ricker scale.
  • I have intrusive thoughts.
  • I have no patience.
  • I have panic attacks.
  • I hate noise, anything from traffic to car doors opening and closing.
  • The only way I will interact is online.
  • I do not answer my phone, which no doubt has cost me a lot of business.

So there is a knock-on domino effect when people are so robotic and irritating to the point if I could shove my fist down the other end of the line or across the computer screen, I would.

I am not in a good place right now because I am struggling to stay positive and optimistic. I have been studying neuroplasticity and I should stick with it because something I thought about, the next day materialized. Therefore I need to heal and start caring about myself rather than neglecting myself.

I plan to write a book about my life, this will no doubt open a can of worms, not only for me having to recall things that I would rather not remember but for the people that have done me wrong. My book will mention all the highs and lows and perhaps it may help people to avoid the same mistakes I made, in my relationships, and in my career, not only how everything over the years has affected my health and how I am trying to heal.

“I want to make a difference in this world and help people like me or worse off than me”.

I may not physically want to interact but a virtual connection I am fine with, although I won’t be doing anything for a few weeks because I need to recover from all the trauma I have had to endure over the last few months.

This all goes towards documenting my health so that it all gets put on the NHS database. There is a reason behind my madness.

It saddens me that the people I have reached out to on a personal level, who said they were going to get back in touch never have. I assume that they have reached their own conclusions and do not want to interact with someone that has disabilities. I suppose they see me as damaged goods, but labeling someone in such a way is not only hurtful but incorrect because we all have something going on in our lives thus we can all be labeled the same way. In fact, it will be hard to find a person that has not been screwed over in some way or another and how it affected them mentally. Usually, people who shy away from people with mental health disorders have their own demons to contend with and cannot handle yours. I do not see myself as damaged I see myself as someone who can overcome obstacles and then write about them. Just because I am having a bad day today does not mean I will be having a bad day tomorrow. No two days are the same. Yes, I have disabilities but there are millions of people in the same boat as me or worse off. You need to find the strength to make your story your superpower. Everyone has a book waiting to be written. There’s No Such Thing As Being “Damaged Goods” In A Relationship—Here’s Why (bolde.com)

I am like a bear with a sore head at the moment, as a consequence, I avoid talking over the phone as much as possible. When I do have to call people, as an example the other day, I nearly bit an IT engineer’s head off when I was having trouble accessing my site. I did apologize afterward about my outburst but I have a very short fuse and my temperament is not great, I can come off at times as being rude, (I try not to be, but cannot help it if people push my buttons). However, I also get very obnoxious, patronizing, and condescending individuals and all I want to do is punch their faces. I am no good at interacting physically, which is fortunate.

I have reported ‘British Gas’ to the Ombudsman and have to wait on an outcome. I feel very lethargic and am finding it hard to be optimistic right now. I should stay positive but is hard when I have to deal with some things that cause my health to worsen. It is as if I make one step forward and two steps back.

My OCD has gone through the roof and where I was making progress the last few months have basically thrown all my hard work away. Having a mental health disorder like depression which causes an onset of intrusive thoughts causing you to have compulsions to ease the anxiety. it is a vicious circle. and that is why I do not interact physically.

#onlinediary #onlinejournal #scripting #journalling #blogging #pip #depression #stress #anxiety #ocd #mental health #obsessivecompulsivedisorder

Stress, Anxiety, and Headaches.

January 7, 2022 / / 2 Comments

Stress, Anxiety, and Headaches.

Stress.

Stress is the body’s way of reacting to a situation whereby you may feel threatened or under pressure. It may cause a domino effect of anxiety, headaches, or even depression. Depending on how well we cope under pressure will determine the final outcome of the end result.

Anxiety.

Anxiety is your body’s natural defense against stress. Anxiety is caused by overthinking, being worried, or fear of the outcome of a situation whereby the feeling of uncertainty or apprehension makes us feel vulnerable.

Headaches.

Headaches are symptoms of pain in the eyes, face, head, or neck. They cause brain fog and irritability. They may intensify as migraine, tension-type headache, or cluster headache left untreated. Headaches are linked with an increased risk of depression to those with severe headaches. Causes of headaches may vary although they can include dehydration, fatigue, sleep deprivation, stress, the effects of medications (overuse) and recreational drugs, including withdrawal, viral infections, loud noises, common colds, head injury, rapid ingestion of very cold food or beverage, dental or sinus issues, and Covid Virus.

Stress, Anxiety, and Headaches.

We all experience from time to time issues that cause us to feel stressed. These can be because of on onset of certain events that happen in our lives where we feel we are losing control. As a consequence, we may become anxious due to fear or uncertainty making us feel vulnerable, which then can lead to symptoms of headaches and even depression.

My Online Health Journal.

Today, I am feeling unwell, and is one of those days whereby have mentioned before I use this portal to vent my frustrations, talk about my disabilities, my coping strategies, and writing as a form of therapy by letting it all out for anyone that is interested in the drama that occasionally happens in my life.

Because I am connected with a lot of international people on LinkedIn I find that some people do not take into account time zones and if left unmonitored I would be called all hours of the night so at some point, I either turn my phone on “do not disturb” or “airplane mode”.

So you can imagine my horror when I turned my phone on this morning to multiple missed calls and several text messages saying the flat below had sprung another leak.

If you recall Christmas Day I had drama when the bathwater was emptying on its own with the bath plug still in the hole, causing the flat below me to flood. So approximately 04.40 hours this morning there was another leak. Now I am no expert but the people my landlord sends half the time are cowboys. I have written some horror stories I have encountered over the last two decades of living here which are well documented as it has caused me no end of emotional distress.

Now because I have OCD I cannot feel the dampness on my carpets, yet I think I have detected what is wrong with my sink pedestal leaking water when one washes one’s hands, The contractor has already gone today and did not spot the suspected problem. Well, at least I have a “Brucey Bonus” I am having new bathroom flooring next week and a new shower door.

The only problem is because I have social disconnection issues I am finding it hard to interact with people physically. The less drama I have in my life the better and the quicker I can heal.

Furthermore, I would prefer, anyone that entered my property to show proof of a lateral flow test. But making waves can land me in hot water as people do not like to be told what to do. I could refuse people entry but what that would cause is animosity for certain.

Two Flying Monkeys.

Trust me the people I deal with are judgemental and opinionated and have little empathy. People are only caring if it involves them personally or they are passionate about a cause, otherwise, they may say they care but in reality, do not give two flying monkeys.

Gas Engineer Callout & Business.

I will just have to ride the wave and ironically a domain name that I am brokering by coincidence was up for renewal today which I will offer to the “Cardiff Gas Engineers” that are coming next week to check my Combi boilers and Radiators. The domain name www.cardiffgasengineers.co.uk was originally a WordPress site in which I was going to make into a directory of Cardiff Gas Engineers and perhaps a Trustpilot type review site. I still may develop it for my own use, good health permitting. But as it stands I am feeling unwell, do not have my GP support system and because I simply do not have the time to build on this project at present and my health is not too good I have decided to drop the hosting until I find a buyer or my circumstances change.

Of course, I will still do some marketing and SEO to get the domain noticed and even tag the engineers free of charge to give them a free marketing boost.

So today I have not been able to do half the work I had planned because my day was interrupted by the drama that unfolded. Just because I am unwell I cannot stop working or take time off work, no one is going to do the work for me and someone needs to continue turning the cogs.

My headache has subsided, my anxiety has settled and tomorrow is another day.

The way I cope with stress and anxiety is to release all my tension by writing online. If I can write something that not only is educational but with a personal twist I am in fact making my posts original. I find expressing my thoughts to whoever wants to listen is a form of therapy.

#stress #anxiety #headaches #ocd #vulnerability #depression #socialdisconnection #lateralflowtests

Social Disconnection & Entrepreneurs.

December 27, 2021 / / 3 Comments

Social Disconnection & Entrepreneurs.

Power-hungry entrepreneurs may focus on their businesses to the point they may neglect their family and friends. Some entrepreneurs are perfectionists and become obsessed with their aspirations, undergoing incessant striving, involving an imbalanced individualistic focus on attaining achievements. They prefer to win the competition over collaboration. However, their fixation on competition and achievement comes at a cost as those around them often neglect their loved ones or find it difficult to form meaningful relationships with others.

However, we are all guilty of social disconnection in one form or another, for example, smartphones, social media, and gaming increase our dopamine levels where we are no longer aware of our surroundings and more engrossed in our virtual world.

Typically if both my daughter and I are in the same room and we are glued to our devices we can go without speaking a word for hours at a time. This may seem like an unhealthy relationship although I do try stopping what I am doing most of the time to give my undivided attention. The way I see it is, we could be here one day and gone tomorrow therefore spending quality time with the people we cherish the most is by far more meaningful rather than wasting your time on things that do not matter. Building memories should be prioritized rather than spending your valuable time on social media or gaming unless there is money to make from it of course.

I remember my father where he worked, he isolated himself from the other workers at lunch break. He believed he had nothing in common with the workers other than sharing the same workplace and the workers singled him out through social class because they were mostly women and he was the only male and foreign.

For me, the reason why I choose the company I keep is that you have heard the saying”once bitten twice shy”, not only this unless someone is as passionate as I am about what I have built and will continue building. I am a businesswoman first and foremost. I do not believe, people who do not share my vision will ever share a common ground. I find small talk monotonous and would much rather be turning the wheel generating leads rather than wasting time chatting about the weather. Unless the person I am talking to can help me bring food to the table or help my business grow, then I am afraid they are not worthy of my time.

I have also been on the receiving end of certain people’s attitudes and it only fits to be friends when it suits them. When someone only contacts you once or twice in the year, they are not a friend. I have reached out to certain individuals for support in the past and they basically turned their backs on me, although if I was to bring the subject matter up I am convinced they would deny ever doing it. It just shows how people can be two-faced.

However, although I am highly motivated and driven in my work I also prefer to physically distance myself from people because of the pandemic. I am very aware of my surroundings and germ awareness. I take after my father in that respect as he was a loner and so am I. I prefer my own company.

Social disconnection worsens mental health after a loss.

Of course, social disconnection could be because of mental health, grief, and loss.

But it could be forced upon us through pandemic regulations. Sometimes people have no choice if they are restricted with whom they can meet and where.

I have experienced unimaginable grief something that is too painful to recall now. So in order to protect me from harm, I prefer not to socialize. I have trusted too many people in my life who have failed me and each time there is always something that I regretted saying or sharing, which was then used against me. When I needed certain people when I felt vulnerable were where they then?

Keeping grief hidden can be a survival technique after suffering a bereavement and can cause your mental health to worsen. I am very vocal when it comes to grief. However, research has shown that the social disconnection caused by concealing feelings of loss can increase psychological distress.

After bereavement, some people find it difficult to open up and say something is wrong, and that they feel immense sadness. They may experience an overwhelming feeling of despair and fear of looking vulnerable and insecure in front of friends and family can lead the bereft to avoid social contact altogether.

Studies have shown that individuals who report being socially disconnected are more psychologically distressed in the first 6 months of loss. Yet one government civil servant once so callously asked me and I quote “so how long do I expect to grieve” not long after my mother had passed away. I have never forgotten his name.

For me, the healing process is long and hard and one has to just grin and bear it so to speak. My memories of my loved ones that have passed away are as fresh as if they were yesterday and I will always carry sadness in my heart. I find writing very therapeutic. My journey is a long one in which I will find pastures new and I believe if you want to heal there are plenty of self-help resources available online.

If you find life unbearable please look at the useful links page to organizations that can help or contact your general practitioner for a consultation. You should never suffer in silence or go through it alone,

My superpower is the keyboard where I can release all my tension, anger, and frustration without having to leave my home and speak to anyone. For me, social disconnection is being able to connect with everyone on the planet virtually but to avoid all contact physically with the outside world. I can just about handle couriers and contractors to a certain degree, but to physically meet with someone is presently impossible for me.

If you have a story to share, just use the form below and get your story published.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/intl/blog/the-costs-perfectionism/202004/socially-disconnected-your-perfectionism-may-be-the-problem

Social disconnection worsens mental health after a loss

#socialdisconnection #fear #grief #mentalhealth #germawareness

Christmas Mental Health 2021 – Part II

December 26, 2021 / / 1 Comment

Finally, Christmas is nearly over, thank God for that…

I am fed up with seeing how happy people are flaunting their Christmas gatherings to the world that may make other people who find Christmas difficult this time of year, very daunting.

Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for everyone who can enjoy Christmas but to flaunt it around people who are not so fortunate to spend Christmas with their loved ones is sinful and conceited.

The same goes with people showing off how much money they have or being judgemental because they have a house but in reality, it is mortgaged up to the hilt. Nine times out of ten people wearing designer clothes are not as rich as they make out.

I for one own multiple digital real estate but for the ordinary person this may not be something they understand. Not everyone knows the value of domain names and the equity that may hold.

Regardless of whether it is a bricks-and-mortar property or a digital asset, it is still deemed to have value and people need to educate themselves before casting judgment.

As for Christmas, I am fed up with people asking me what I did and who I spent it with. I did “Jack Diddly Squat” for Christmas because I do not celebrate it anymore, what is there to celebrate when both my parents and my brother are no longer alive?

Christmas Day is just another day. For me, I stayed home alone over Christmas as my daughter stayed over with her boyfriend’s family but that was fine with me because I took advantage of the time to relax.

I must admit my Christmas did not go without a hitch and was stressful because of a couple of incidents with Amazon delivery and yesterday’s fiasco where my bath had sprung a leak and flooded my neighbor’s ceiling.

I ended up having a full-on panic attack and could not stop the water from pouring because my bath was not holding in the water and apparently as I found out today the silver part of the drain had come loose which caused water to not empty through the waste pipe but directly onto the floorboards and onto my neighbor’s ceiling, as you can see by the video.

Next Door Neighbours Flat Below Me!

So as you can imagine it took its toll on my health yesterday to the point that after the contractor left today, I ended up falling asleep for a good few hours during the day which is unusual for me as I never do that.

With this said, I spoke to someone today about my health and it seems that no matter what I say it goes over people’s heads.

I stated I have a problem with social disconnection and also problems walking because of my bad knee and it is as if they cannot comprehend that I cannot walk far because I am not on crutches or do not have a walking stick.

I stated, after a couple of times coming up and down my stairs, my knee gets painful and swells and this is what the person said to me and I quote “It will be nice to walk around the park and get some fresh air“. My response online to this is “did they not hear what I said I cannot walk far“, and how is walking around the park going to benefit me in any way?, what about the time I would have to take off from my work?

You would not expect any successful entrepreneur to put their businesses on hold for leisurely strolls.

I have four businesses, I am worth a lot of money on paper and no one is going to get in between.

Another thing people do not understand if they have never run a business before is that a self-employed person’s income is not guaranteed, they have to work ten times harder than an employee to find leads and keep them. An employee takes their wages for granted as it is a secure income for them for the duration they work for a company. However, with the uncertainty of the high street and hospitality sector and business closures because of the pandemic, an entrepreneur has to do everything they can to secure their business and make it run smoothly, never mind make sure their clients pay them on time. Running a business is not a walk in the park.

I also stated about social disconnection and also the fact I cannot walk very far, this did not comprehend with this person. Not only that, I picked up on some mockery when I laughed about something I said (and the person in the background thought they were being clever and funny by mimicking my laugh, repeating the tone of my laugh), which I purposely ignored but will not forget.

If I want to have fresh air I simply have to open my front door or buy oxygen in a can.

I do not take kindly to people being ignorant and pretending to be my friend just so that they can gossip about me after. I have never been bosom pals with this person even though I have known them for over 20 years, my gut feeling tells me they are false and think highly of themselves.

Furthermore, I know I do not live in a palace at the moment, granted, but trying to imply that they somehow are more superior to me because their property is a mortgaged new build and mine is falling apart rented Listed Georgian House, they do not have the right to be judgemental as they do not know my circumstances and I should not have to explain myself to them.

I was told I could phone them anytime for a chat. I understand they may have had good intentions when saying that but I have nothing in common with them, what exactly would we be chatting about, they are not on the same page as me and never will be? If I need mental health support I have my useful links page to fall back on.

With social disconnection, people like myself do not need other people in their lives and do not like socializing. It is not due entirely to the fact of mental health issues with me it is more so I chose who I wish to spend company with and I am 100% focused on my work. Granted I am wary of intermingling with people because of the pandemic, but I am much happier not being around people physically, I much rather connect with people online.

According to statistics social isolation or disconnection significantly increase a person’s risk of premature death from all causes, a risk that may rival those of smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity. Social isolation is associated with about a 50% percent increased risk of dementia because people’s brains are not as active if they stay at home, where loneliness and boredom kick in.

The above statement I agree to disagree. I choose the company I keep and I am extremely active online, so I am keeping my brain working. I do not smoke and will not say I am obese, perhaps slightly overweight. But again I can always do exercise at home if I really wanted to.

I am always learning and people seem to underestimate me by trying to be do-gooders. I would not have been able to build four businesses for myself and multiple businesses for other people if I was short of a shilling or two.

For me I find writing therapy and learning new things, I love reading and watching documentaries. I always keep myself busy. I am currently researching neuroplasticity, neuroscience, and quantum physics. I have recently completed a course on hypnotherapy and plan to take on more courses in the New Year.

Christmas Mental Health Part I – 2021

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#christmasmentalhealth #christmas #mentalhealth #covid #panedmic #socialdisconnection #disabledentrepreneur #selfemployed

Christmas Mental Health Part I – 2021

December 9, 2021 / / 1 Comment

Christmas Mental health.

It is nearly this time of year again that I dread. I miss the hustle and bustle of my parents preparing a Christmas Eve dinner where all the family congregated to celebrate Christmas. I miss my parents and my brother. I miss the house we once lived in and I miss the atmosphere and preparations leading up to Christmas and buying presents, wrapping them, and feasting around a twelve-course dinner a Polish Tradition of twelve courses representing the twelve disciples.

Now I am left with just my daughter who has a boyfriend that is not my biggest fan, doing everything he can to avoid talking to me let alone being in the same room as me.

My only surviving close relative is my brother that lives in the USA with his wife and children.

My niece and nephew who are grown-up will fly home to visit their biological mother, but because of my social disconnection disorder, I am finding it hard to leave my house never mind travel to visit them.

Furthermore, Wales is going into lockdown just after Christmas, and no way I am going to go out with sickly people around.

I was once told I was selfish for not having the vaccine, yet what I failed to mention was I have a peg allergy and was advised by the hospital not to have one and have been removed from their list. Sometimes not saying anything is much easier than having to explain yourself.

If there is an ‘Omicron Pandemic’ then all the people that go around spreading germs should be called selfish not me.

No way am I going out until herd immunity has kicked in. This is my choice to work from home and not meet people and am happy just doing Zoom and Skype calls.

Certain people in my network have also asked me what about exercise? advising me to get up early to walk around the lake and back again.

I cannot walk very far because of my bad knee because of the consequences of one person’s actions, a person that kicked my knee 7 times to cause it to dislocate on purpose. Even if I had a good knee I do not have the time to take off (please view an example of my Critical Time Path below).

I have since that unfortunate day had problems walking and am in excruciating pain if I walk or try to bend. Just in case no one has noticed my bad knee it is because I do not whinge or cry like a baby when I am in pain.

For example, If I have 150 websites to manage to give them 2 hours of my time, where can I find the time to do anything else?

My Distant Relatives.

My family in Poland might as well be dead to me as I have no respect for them after a massive family disagreement that involved my abusive ex-partner. I tried being the bigger person and offered an olive branch and not one of them has bothered to reach out to me, which is really sad. This is another story that I will write in my autobiography someday.

I do have family in Mexico but because I am not vaccinated it is going to be virtually impossible for me to visit them (I have a Peg Allergy and Social Disconnection Disorder).

I did try speaking with my GP a few weeks ago but was met by the rottweiler of a practice manager that tried to intimidate me and refused to pass my message on that I needed to speak with the head GP over a complaint where I had written a letter in May 2021 as it had not been answered. She told me GP’s are too busy to correspond, I wrote about GP Negligence in the article here.

So the naysayers will say so why do I not find another GP, well that would mean me going out of my comfort zone and being among sickly people. OCD and GP waiting rooms do not work well.

Don’t get me wrong I am ok, I do find Christmas rather depressing but how I see it, it is just another day with no meaning anymore.

I try to avoid talking to people on a social scale because why should I pretend to be happy this time of year when I am not. Nobody can possibly understand how I feel if they have not walked in my shoes.

I have experienced grief, of the most unimaginable kind.

No one has a right to judge me or give their advice if they are not professionals or experts in the field of psychology.

I have tried getting more help perhaps upping my medication but my GP surgery is as helpful as a chocolate fireguard. My email snippet can be viewed below, which was ignored:

Will I sue them for the negligence, of course, I will but first I have to get Christmas out of the way.

I won’t say I hate my life, it could be better with my mental health and I believe it will be with my self-help therapy no thanks to the NHS may I add.

I have found a purpose in life and am on my way to getting everything I desire. Once I achieve all my goals God help anyone that tried to stand in my way.

I find writing my thoughts down is therapeutic as well as scripting positive thoughts.

If anything I will treat myself to a fancy Christmas Dinner delivered by “Deliveroo” and maybe watch a film or two, no point cooking for one.

I stay away from alcohol as it got me into a lot of trouble no end of times when I got drunk in the past and now I want to preserve my precious brain cells rather than suffer from a thumping headache the day after. I do not see the sense of drinking and getting drunk and wasting money on something my body will dispense down the toilet.

Currently, I am feeling a little low, I have my worries and anxieties, just like most people this time of year, and am trying to work through them.

I also have a demonic cat that does nothing for my mental health and keeps me up all night long. He does not belong to me and is my daughters’. I am extremely tired because he constantly meows or tries to break the door down if I lock him in a room. God Only Knows what the neighbors must think?

I am doing my best to not give in or give up, although I have been very close to hanging up my apron strings on more than one occasion in the past, I know if I persevere I will get to where I am going.

At the moment I am like a modern-day Howard Huges (I may not be as bad as him, I certainly do not sit naked in front of my computer 🤣😂 but I do have a problem with germs, may I add OCD is not a laughing matter) it does not stop me from working, and following my dreams but on my own terms.

I will just like last year have my chat open throughout the Christmas period just in case anyone is feeling low and wants someone to talk to. I will also announce it on my front and on all my social media networks.

Yes, life can be a shit show but if you find something positive to do and can focus on, you can start to create a better life for yourself. There are plenty of opportunities if you know where to look.

Everyone has a story to tell, and am eager to hear yours…

Drop Me A Message Using the Form Below or Start A Chat.

I will have Chat Open Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve, and News Day, just in case someone is feeling low.

Wishing Everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Prosperous New Year 2022!

#christmasloneliness #christmasdepression #christmasmentalhealth

Anxiety Phoning Your GP

November 4, 2021 / / 4 Comments
Anxiety Phoning your GP!

Anxiety Phoning Your GP.

Many of us worry about speaking to our GP at the best of times and it is more difficult especially if we have mental health and anxiety issues.

However, doing nothing about your ailments and bottling things up can make things worse. It’s better to seek help early rather than let it fester into something worse. That way you can start receiving the treatment you need to set you on the road to recovery.

“GPs are normally the first port of call for physical and mental health concerns. However, for someone like myself who suffers from anxiety, it can be overwhelming physically having a conversation about what you are thinking or feeling with your GP or practice nurse, someone you may hardly know.

Whatever way you decide about communicating with your GP they will want to speak with you even if you appoint a friend or family member to speak on your behalf (data protection), they will still want to speak with you.

Mind Charity has put together a guide with some tips on how to prepare for your appointment and make the most of the short time you get with them. Find out more at www.mind.org.uk/findthewords.”

Speaking to your GP or practice nurse should be your first step to getting help. However, if you are anxious it might be an idea to contact your GP via email or snail mail. However, this can be passed to the practice manager, for everyone to see and read. In fact, I wrote such an email to my GP last May 2021 and the practice manager and cluster pharmacist both confirmed they read my letter which was not addressed to them yet my GP has not bothered to respond to my letter at all.

The only time I will be speaking to my GP once I muster the courage to phone them to raise my complaint will be through court and suing them for negligence.

What is concerning is I do need medical attention as some of my symptoms have escalated, but I cannot bring myself to phone the GP Surgery as I feel I will lose my rag with them. Furthermore, I have social disconnection issues and cannot interact with anyone other than my family and online.

https://www.mind.org.uk/about-us/our-policy-work/you-and-your-gp/for-gp-patients/

https://www.nhs.uk/using-the-nhs/about-the-nhs/how-to-complain-to-the-nhs/

https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/other-services/Patient-advice-and-liaison-services-(PALS)/LocationSearch/363

https://www.nhs.uk/service-search/other-services/Clinical-Commissioning-Group/LocationSearch/1

https://www.cqc.org.uk/contact-us/how-complain/complain-about-use-mental-health-act

https://www.ombudsman.org.uk/

https://www.ombudsman.org.uk/publications/my-expectations-raising-concerns-and-complaints

#gpdutyofcare #gp #doctorsurgery #gpnegligence #anxiety #anxietyphoning #anxietyphoningyourgp #dutyofcare #nhscomplaints

Feeling Suicidal, Suicidal Thoughts.

October 10, 2021 / / 2 Comments
Feeling Suicidal, Suicidal Thoughts.

Feeling Suicidal.

“Life is precious, do not waste it”.

Feeling Suicidal is when a person is in a very dark place metaphorically speaking when they have lost the will to live and they see no other way of escaping from the nightmare they are in.

The rise in suicides likely to be linked to austerity – but the story behind each suicide is complex.

When a person has lost all hope and the will to live they cannot see anything else other than dying. They believe that once they die their nightmare will be over and they will not feel anguish, sadness, loneliness, or despair. They do believe the grass is greener on the other side but is it though?.. Some people believe if you commit suicide you go to hell. So if life feels like hell right now, the real hell will be far worse.

When a person falls into this state of feeling hopeless when nothing is working out fine for them and no one understands them or cares or bothers with them it is understandable they may sink deeper into the abyss.

Most of our depression is fueled by fear, loss, and grief. “Disabled Entrepreneur UK” covers all topics in all categories (I have linked some of the topics in this article).

There are many factors that can cause a person to feel so low:

  1. They feel like a failure, they have nothing to show for their life, they fear failure.
  2. They have lost their job.
  3. They have lost their home, through evicition or natual disaster, divorce, seperation or money problems such as bankruptcy or not being able to keep up with the mortgage payments.
  4. They have lost their family through death or family fued.
  5. They have or are going through a divorce and are losing their home, their children and their money.
  6. They have been robbed.
  7. Their business is going under.
  8. They have lost their life partner, through seperation, or death.
  9. They have lost their child through miscarrage, illness or accidental death.
  10. They are discriminated, humiliated or made a mockery of. They have people or institutes that judge them.
  11. The have financial burdens that if their money was taken away how would they cope (benefits).
  12. They feel no one cares or understands them and every time they reach out people do not take them seriously.
  13. They are stuck in a physically and mentally abusive relationship.
  14. They are being bullied in school or in the workplace.
  15. Harrassment because of sexual orientation, religion, skin colour, beliefs, ethnicity.
  16. They have no friends.
  17. They feel lonely.
  18. They feel the world has turned against them.
  19. Their family and friends have turned against them because or their sexual orientation, religion or beliefs.
  20. They are the abuser in a domstic viilent relationship and have they gone too far with their actions and feel worried they will get caught.

Many adults will experience feelings of hopelessness or suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives. 

This could be because they do not have a close support network that understands them (friends/family/co-workers) and they may feel embarrassed to reach anyone in their network for the fear of being laughed at or for the worries they have to be brushed under the carpet so to speak.

SIGNS TO LOOK OUT FOR.

  1. Social Withdrawal.
  2. Excessive Quietness,
  3. Irritability.
  4. Uncharacteristic Outbursts.
  5. Crying For No Reason.
  6. Hating Everything and Everyone.
  7. Talking about Death or Suicide.

“If you are feeling suicidal, the most important thing is to talk to someone“.

“If authoritarian institutions try to judge or discriminate against a person for their mental health, remind them no one is perfect and everyone could be in the same shoes as a suicidal person one day feeling life is not worth living”.

When you feel sad and lonely and feel you have no one to turn to there are organizations specifically designed to help people going through what you are going through. They are not discriminating or judgemental they actually care about you as they would not be there otherwise. They are there to lend an ear, you do not even have to say your real name. You just need to take the brave steps to reach out that is all you have to do.

If you are going through a difficult time, you may be feeling isolated and disconnected from your friends, family, or other groups. It might it difficult to start a conversation about your feelings, therefore there are organizations such as the Samaritans that can listen to your problems and perhaps steer you in the right direction. But it’s important that you let the people around you know how you are feeling. It’s important to remember that people in these organizations care and will want to help you.

Saying that, be prepared for the people in your immediate circle that may be oblivious to your sadness and may try to back away because they have their own problems.

The best people to start with are the ones that have been professionally trained, such as a GP or Mental Health Organisation. Not everyone in your close network of friends and family will understand or even want to help you, so keep that in mind.

What to do if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts

Your GP should be the first point of contact for any issues affecting your physical and mental health, including suicidal thoughts. They will also be able to diagnose a state of depression or anything in your lifestyle that may be contributing to how you may be feeling. 

If you do not have a GP but need to speak with a doctor urgently, you can call NHS non-emergency number on 111 and they will direct you to the nearest available walk-in centre or doctor’s surgery.

Tips for coping with suicidal feelings:

  • Try not to think about the future, just focus on the present and getting through the day, start by taking baby steps.
  • Avoid drugs or alcohol, these will only add fuel to the fire.
  • Go to a safe place like a friend’s house, family or public area, avoid being stuck at home alone, go somewhere where there are people around.
  • Start a journal, this could be a physical book or online blog.
  • Find a reason to help others through your personal story.
  • Do something you usually enjoy.

If you are about to harm yourself or have already done so, call 999 as soon as possible or go to Accident and Emergency (A&E) at the nearest hospital.

Professional suicide support services

If you’re feeling very low, you can contact any of the professional support services below for free.

  • Samaritans – call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.co.uk (available 24/7)
  • Sane Line – call 0300 304 7000 (available 4.30pm – 10.30pm every day)
  • Papyrus Hopeline – call 0800 068 4141, text 07786209697 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org (available 10am – 10pm weekdays, 2pm – 10pm weekends and bank holidays)

The Mental Health Foundation is concerned but not surprised by the latest UK suicide figures. They are in line with other evidence of the distress people are feeling, such as rates of self-harm and self-reported feelings of shame.

Some of the rises in the number of suicides may be due to a change in the rules in England and Wales about how coroners should record suicides. However, it is currently too soon to know what difference the change has made.

Whenever a person takes their own life, there is a complex story behind it.

There is also not a single simple explanation for the increase in the number of people taking their own lives, but it is likely to be linked with economic austerity. We know that suicide rates are linked with people’s uncertainty about their financial futures, unemployment, persistent inequality, loneliness, discrimination, and ill-health. (Citation/Credit).

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/blog/suicide-prevention-how-you-can-make-difference

ASKING IF ONE IS FEELING SUICIDAL.

According to The Mental Health Foundation:

Asking “are you having suicidal thoughts?”

  • Asking about suicide does not encourage it, nor does it lead a person to start thinking about it; in fact it may help prevent it, and can start a potentially life-saving conversation

Note From the Editor.

However, I have to agree to disagree, I suffer from Mental Health Issues and on my last PIP assessment I was asked that very question, have I had suicidal thoughts.

  1. Firstly I would not admit to anyone if I had them or not.
  2. Secondly if I did not have those thoughts I basically was given a loaded gun because if I was not thinking about it before, I most certainly was thinking it now and had a seed planted in my head, which I could have easily gone through with it had I have been in that state of mind.

“The difference is I do have everything to live for and can teach people including institutions asking someone directly if they are feeling suicidal can go one of two ways and one has to tread carefully”.

“One needs to be subtle and not cause a person to immediately go on the defense and on guard. No one will admit they feel suicidal especially to a stranger unless they actively are looking to get help and are prepared to get the support they need”.

For me personally, this crossed my mind on the odd occasion, but I was not telling a PIP assessor who I did not know and besides my own personal story is complex, it is not one incident but many incidents with many people’s/entities actions that I can blame over many years that have caused me to feel depressed”.

“As I walked away with a loaded gun that the PIP Assessor had metaphorically given and had I not found the strength to over-ride my thoughts I very much doubt you would be reading my story today”.

I have since learned that one can over-ride one’s thoughts with neuroscience which I am actively researching. I hope to publish my findings in the near future.

What assessors should ask instead is:

  1. Have you been feeling low?
  2. Do you feel you can talk to someone?
  3. How often do you feel low?
  4. Do you have friends or family you can talk to?
  5. Do you feel hopeless?
  6. Do you feel worthless?
  7. Do you feel the world is against you?
  8. Do you know of any support networks you can reach out to?
  9. Do you turn to alcohol or recreational drugs to surpress your thoughts?
  10. Do you feel your thoughts are very intrusive?
  11. Do you isolate yourself from society?
  12. Can you cope with life?
  13. Do you have any hobbies?
  14. Do you feel proud of yourself?
  15. Has anyone tried to hurt you physically or mentally?

World Health Organisation:

According to “WHO” Nearly 800,000 people die by suicide in the world each year, which is roughly one death every 40 seconds.

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-24 years.

Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.

https://apps.who.int/gho/data/node.sdg.3-4-viz-2?lang=en
Suicide Facts

FINAL THOUGHTS FROM THE EDITOR.

When someone you know looks or behaves not their usual self, ask them if they are ok and that they can talk to you whenever they want with no pressure. Always be kind to people as you do not know what they are going through or feeling.

Never be judgemental or dictate to them what they should or should not do. Everyone has the ability to make their own decisions for their own reasons. If you have an opinion tell it once, it is up to the person to listen, continue bombarding the person with your opinions will eventually make the person withdraw from you. If people do not want to listen or take on board your advice do not force it on them.

If you say you are going to phone someone, stick to it, and never give empty promises as that person could just be waiting for you (CD) as there are consequences to our actions.

Do not be that family member that only reaches out once a year at Christmas. Phone the person regularly throughout the year. Get the distant relative involved in your life, do not disregard them like leftover meat. Phone them if they are not inclined to meet with you.

People battle demons in their heads and it is only right for you as a decent human being to be there for the person that may be going through worse ordeals than yourself.

If you are a good person you will spread awareness that people do not have to go through things alone, share your story so that people can relate to you.

If you do not have a job and no one wants to employ you, then create a job and be your own boss. I can motivate and inspire anyone.

Nothing is so bad that you cannot overcome the problem(s) you are faced with, believe me, I know, I have been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. In fact, it did cross my mind on the odd occasion but found a way to get through it. Besides, I have a family and a business I am grateful for having a roof over my head and food to eat. Find the things you are grateful for and think there is always someone worse off than you. Where there is a will there is a way. Obstacles are there so that we can learn how to overcome them. Life is a lesson to be learned.

So if I can survive with everything I have gone through over the years, so can you.

Suicide is so very final and there is no guarantee what you will be faced with on the other side. It could be as some believe that people who commit suicide go straight to hell and some countries do not give people proper burials just dump their bodies in mass graves. It’s ironic that the actor who played the character Chris Nielsen (Robin Williams) “What Dreams May Come” in a film about suicide, committed suicide. Even famous people have demons and get depressed. (Rich and Depressed).

I have been pushed to my limits many times including when I lost both my parents and my brother but I have also had to deal with domestic violence not to mention losing someone I loved. This is part of the grieving process.

There will always be people who will try to be judgemental and will think they are better than you. Let it all go over your head, no one on this planet is better than you. Just because they may be more educated, have social status, or are some sort of institution or royalty, behind every company, there is a human being doing exactly the same as you, eating, sleeping, and surviving.

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/understanding-behaviour

Anyone who is reading this and simply wants to talk can set up an anonymous Gmail account and message me using the form below.

“Nothing is unbearable that cannot be conquered”.

For me how I deal with depression other than doing research I use this site to write my mental health problems as an online digital journal specifically designed to help myself and others like me.

“I can lend an ear and point you in the right direction, you do not have to give your real name and everything you say will be kept confidential”.

**Please note: messages are answered within 24 hours.

However, you can chat with me using the chatbox, Open Monday to Friday Business Hours.

If you want to speak with someone outside of these hours I recommend getting in touch with the Samaritans.

“If you want to write your own story I can create your own page and together we can inspire more people”.

#suicide #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #feelingsuicidal #depression #clinicaldepression #grief #anxiety #humanbehaviour #suicidalthoughts #intrusivethoughts #suicidal #feelingsuicidal

Rich & Depressed

September 12, 2021 / / 0 Comments

Rich, Disabled & Depressed.

Did you know that rich people get depressed just like the disabled, working-class, and poor? In fact, in our current climate, everyone gets depressed at some point in their lives regardless, of gender, ethnicity, job title, social status, wealth, or physical and mental disabilities?

There is no such thing as a perfect world or perfect lifestyle that most of us try to strive for. The higher we climb the harder we fall and with more wealth, there will be more problems.

There is not one person on this planet that cannot say they have never been depressed. Even babies can be born depressed.

Rich people are prone to depression because a lot of money of their net worth exists in untouchable assets such as home equity and retirement accounts, not only pressures of work can take their toll on a person’s mental state. For rich people some of the time their wealth only exists on paper and they cannot spend it and run the risk of disappearing due to market conditions.

Rich people spend less time with their families and more time at work, this then puts strain on relationships.

Where the working class person can allocate time to spend with their families in the evenings and weekends and middle to high-class entrepreneurs will prioritize their business in order to run a tight ship. with no time wasted and every day is one day closer to striking gold and more gold. Not everyone is born privileged.

However, saying this person is born privileged or is famous and in the public arena may find it difficult to live normal lives. They cannot just pop down to a local cafe or supermarket their every move is documented so they live in a secluded place away from prying eyes.

The upper class and born privileged person may not understand about other classes and with money flowing may take their wealth for granted but again a wealthy person may also experience depression as they cannot walk on Gods earth freely without being followed by paparazzi and may have to have an entourage of security guarding them. They cannot walk into a store or go anywhere public. They are imprisoned in their own surroundings. They may not have the freedom to do things randomly unlike the rest of the world.

Most CEOs, founders, the innovators are prone to depression more so than the average person, possessing subtle psychopathic traits and be more prone to addiction.

Their addiction and obsession with work only fuel the fire to not fail. Rich people may also turn to alcohol and recreational drugs to self-medicate. These tendencies may even help the individual rise to such heights through their insecurities.

Research suggests that CEOs may be depressed at more than double the rate of the general public (which is already about 20%).

It is also suggested that even privileged rich kids are, counter-intuitively, more depressed and anxious than their middle- or low-income peers. This could be because a social group trap is so tight-knit that it would be virtually impossible to make friends out of their social circle, giving rich kids less freedom. Rich kids do not mix with poor kids or vice versa.

People on low incomes have lower expectations and working-class families learn to cope with the bare minimums and are truly grateful for what they have, which high class have more expectations and are not grateful of what they have because they always want more and better things than the Jones’s. Low-class families are more humble and can show more empathy and understand that a less privileged person will be eternally grateful for any help that is given to them.

Hence a lower class family will be eternally grateful compared to a wealthy family. Whilst a wealthy family will expect the best of the best and if they do not get what they desire they may experience anxiety and depression. There is currently not enough research about the prevalence of depression in the upper vs. the lower socioeconomic classes within a country.

Psychologists who have treated the very high-functioning C-suite types over the years have collected data consensus that tells them that people of high social status and enormous wealth are prone to major depression for a variety of reasons than people of other socioeconomic strata.

Todd Essig, a Forbes writer, and psychologist in New York City said “Uber-success can be depressogenic”. “Many C-suite executives are prone to depression, despite their success, maybe even because of it.”

Depression can affect the lives of everyone, in any stratum.

Regardless if you are rich, poor, or with a disability, no one is immune to anxiety and depression.

However, people who have extreme success are more prone to depression because a person who is successful has chased their own dream and is more protective of it causing isolation and the pressures to keep it a success and not to fail can cause a person to isolate.

People of extreme successes are more prone to criticism there will always be competitors and haters and people just watching and waiting for them to fail.

A person in the public eye may not always have people who will believe in their success.

In this not-so-perfect world where most of us want a perfect life, this is virtually impossible as money cannot buy you happiness. It is a constant battle to please people to have people on the same page as you and there will always be people that are jealous and will say things out of context just to hurt you. It is a constant battle to stay on top which triggers depression in those you’d least expect it. People who are successful, wealthy, and with a disability may find even more pressure to not fail and have to work even harder to get around obstacles. In fact, some of the most successful people in history have suffered from relentless, incapacitating depression – some have won their battles, or, at least, continued to battle, yet some, sadly, succumb to them.

Comparing yourself to the Joneses

People who are extremely successful and very wealthy will always want the best of the best and will always compete with one another to have something grander. This could be the best-hosted party in which mingling with other wealthy people only puts more pressure to make their event even more spectacular. Their competitors, neighbor, or friends dripping with jewels then their jewels would have to be bigger and more expensive, this could also be designer clothes, accessories, cars, properties, etc. They constantly compare themselves to the Joneses. Countries that are low-income, on the other hand, have low depression rates. However even countries with low wealth still like to compete, you should see the graves in Poland the bigger and grander reflects the wealth of the family.

Some people habitually measure their self-worth by materialistic items that they own. Even people of low wealth try to portray they are rich by wearing designer clothes and accessories but in reality, they do not have two pennies to rub together. Not everything that glistens is gold.

Quality Time

People of working or low class have time to delegate their free time whilst a person who is an entrepreneur will be more driven in making their business succeed and may neglect family in order to concentrate on making their business a success. Once at the top of the ladder they will constantly be overprotective to make their business stay in the number one spot. This adds further stress and anxiety and eventually depression.

People of the lower class do not have the same expectations and those of the working or middle or higher class. They may be complacent to what they have and will not be driven to improve their lives they will not have the same pressure as working or middle-class people. Entrepreneurs are on the spectrum of the lower, working, middle and upper class but they have a key goal to succeed. They will battle to climb the ladder. To achieve extreme success, a person needs to dedicate an extraordinary amount of time and effort to get there, which can make for a life that feels precipitous and lonely.

People climbing the ladder may find everyday things that people take for granted like spending time with family mundane and not proactive. Going for leisurely walks or taking time out to exercise may be an ordeal and you will be surprised that many successful people have their own Gyms or exercise bikes in their offices. Also engaging in meaningless conversations and socializing with people that do not have the same vision adds even more pressure to socially disconnect.

Privilege People

People who have been born wealthy and do not have to ever worry about putting food on the table may find it hard to cope if they find themselves in uncharted territory. People born into wealth do not understand and may find it harder to cope with life problems as they have always been shielded from it. Arnold Washton, a psychologist at Compass Health Group said that depression may also be more common in people who have only known wealth, since they may not be familiar with bootstrapping themselves through difficult times. However, people who self-made millionaires or billionaires may be more resilient as they have experienced the struggles of getting to the top and they know what to expect. A self-made millionaire, a billionaire has more authority to teach people about wealth than someone who was born with a silver spoon in their mouth.

The higher you rise the harder you fall.

To be always vigilant and be prepared for disasters and knowing from all the mistakes and failures you have had will give you a building block to start again. Having a stepping stone if things go belly up and being able to reinvent yourself is one key factor to making sure you succeed. If something is not working quite right create another building block. When business is bad, it goes without saying that depression would be more likely. In good economic times, even if every milestone is hit at exactly the right point, some may find that they feel they have failed. Rather than let everything come tumbling down have strategies in place for every economic disaster.

Just because someone is super-wealthy does not mean you have to be less empathetic towards them. By helping them get through their depression will encourage them to help you. The super-rich also have bills to pay and have obligations just like you and I. Obviously our bills are nothing compared to the magnitude of theirs but it’s bills all the same. Unless a person is a ruler of the land or oil tycoon even then the laws of the land may forbid their relatives to live normal lives. Even princesses have attempted to escape certain countries because they want to live normal lives. Knowing a person is depressed regardless of their stature one can only offer a helping hand this could be just an anonymous talk or perhaps advice and links to organizations.

Rich Person Insecurities.

  1. Keeping up with the Jones
  2. Health Issues, Mental Health, Physical and Mental Disabilities
  3. Sealing the Next Deal
  4. Finding Funds for the Next Investment
  5. Shopaholic, Wife, Girlfriend, Partner, Mistress (Over Spending)
  6. Infidelity (Not being satisfied)
  7. Balancing Work and Family Life
  8. Pressures to Succeed and maintain No1 spot
  9. Market Conditions
  10. Untouchable Assets

Wealth/Money cannot buy you health or happiness. Wealth? Money is a tool and a monetary exchange for something you desire. Wealth can satisfy your needs and fill in an empty void, it can help secure your future and your family’s future but it cannot buy you health or happiness. Having material things and assets may make you feel more superior but it will never make you happy.

The key to happiness is knowing that what you do helps others. However to be happy you need to be healthy and you have to treat your body like a temple. If you look after your body it will look after you the spiritual being in the physical body.

If someone is suffering from depression and recognizes they have a problem this does not make them weak. By reaching out to someone is the first step to healing.

Sharing your pain, your worries, and anxieties are the first step to alleviating the problem. A person who is suffering should not suffer alone and needs to reach out to someone or seek professional help.

Regardless of the person’s title or wealth status, we are all human at the end of the day.

Regardless of who you are you can drop us a line you do not have to give your real name and you can set up a Gmail email if you simply feel life is unbearable we are here to lend an ear and we can offer suggestions.

Whatever you are going through you do not have to go through it alone. You are not the first or the last person to suffer and you should not suffer in silence.

#stress #depression #clinicaldepression #ocd #mental health #obsessivecompultivedisorder #bipolar #anxiety #worry #worries #loneliness #therapy #hypnosis #talking #chatting #reachingout #suicideprevention #prescriptiondrugs #antidepressants #famouspeoplewithdepression #richanddepressed

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