Social disconnection is a general term to describe the lack of social connection, emotional response, and physical engagement with other people, which covers structural and functional measurements such as social isolation, loneliness, and despair. However, some people choose social disconnection by choice, avoiding surrounding themselves with negativity. A lot of successful perfectionist entrepreneurs prefer not to socialize and rather focus on their businesses.
Stress is the body’s way of reacting to a situation whereby you may feel threatened or under pressure. It may cause a domino effect of anxiety, headaches, or even depression. Depending on how well we cope under pressure will determine the final outcome of the end result.
Anxiety.
Anxiety is your body’s natural defense against stress. Anxiety is caused by overthinking, being worried, or fear of the outcome of a situation whereby the feeling of uncertainty or apprehension makes us feel vulnerable.
Headaches.
Headaches are symptoms of pain in the eyes, face, head, or neck. They cause brain fog and irritability. They may intensify as migraine, tension-type headache, or cluster headache left untreated. Headaches are linked with an increased risk of depression to those with severe headaches. Causes of headaches may vary although they can include dehydration, fatigue, sleep deprivation, stress, the effects of medications (overuse) and recreational drugs, including withdrawal, viral infections, loud noises, common colds, head injury, rapid ingestion of very cold food or beverage, dental or sinus issues, and Covid Virus.
Stress, Anxiety, and Headaches.
We all experience from time to time issues that cause us to feel stressed. These can be because of on onset of certain events that happen in our lives where we feel we are losing control. As a consequence, we may become anxious due to fear or uncertainty making us feel vulnerable, which then can lead to symptoms of headaches and even depression.
My Online Health Journal.
Today, I am feeling unwell, and is one of those days whereby have mentioned before I use this portal to vent my frustrations, talk about my disabilities, my coping strategies, and writing as a form of therapy by letting it all out for anyone that is interested in the drama that occasionally happens in my life.
Because I am connected with a lot of international people on LinkedIn I find that some people do not take into account time zones and if left unmonitored I would be called all hours of the night so at some point, I either turn my phone on “do not disturb” or “airplane mode”.
So you can imagine my horror when I turned my phone on this morning to multiple missed calls and several text messages saying the flat below had sprung another leak.
If you recall Christmas Day I had drama when the bathwater was emptying on its own with the bath plug still in the hole, causing the flat below me to flood. So approximately 04.40 hours this morning there was another leak. Now I am no expert but the people my landlord sends half the time are cowboys. I have written some horror stories I have encountered over the last two decades of living here which are well documented as it has caused me no end of emotional distress.
Now because I have OCD I cannot feel the dampness on my carpets, yet I think I have detected what is wrong with my sink pedestal leaking water when one washes one’s hands, The contractor has already gone today and did not spot the suspected problem. Well, at least I have a “Brucey Bonus” I am having new bathroom flooring next week and a new shower door.
The only problem is because I have social disconnection issues I am finding it hard to interact with people physically. The less drama I have in my life the better and the quicker I can heal.
Furthermore, I would prefer, anyone that entered my property to show proof of a lateral flow test. But making waves can land me in hot water as people do not like to be told what to do. I could refuse people entry but what that would cause is animosity for certain.
I will just have to ride the wave and ironically a domain name that I am brokering by coincidence was up for renewal today which I will offer to the “Cardiff Gas Engineers” that are coming next week to check my Combi boilers and Radiators. The domain name www.cardiffgasengineers.co.uk was originally a WordPress site in which I was going to make into a directory of Cardiff Gas Engineers and perhaps a Trustpilot type review site. I still may develop it for my own use, good health permitting. But as it stands I am feeling unwell, do not have my GP support system and because I simply do not have the time to build on this project at present and my health is not too good I have decided to drop the hosting until I find a buyer or my circumstances change.
Of course, I will still do some marketing and SEO to get the domain noticed and even tag the engineers free of charge to give them a free marketing boost.
So today I have not been able to do half the work I had planned because my day was interrupted by the drama that unfolded. Just because I am unwell I cannot stop working or take time off work, no one is going to do the work for me and someone needs to continue turning the cogs.
My headache has subsided, my anxiety has settled and tomorrow is another day.
The way I cope with stress and anxiety is to release all my tension by writing online. If I can write something that not only is educational but with a personal twist I am in fact making my posts original. I find expressing my thoughts to whoever wants to listen is a form of therapy.
Power-hungry entrepreneurs may focus on their businesses to the point they may neglect their family and friends. Some entrepreneurs are perfectionists and become obsessed with their aspirations, undergoing incessant striving, involving an imbalanced individualistic focus on attaining achievements. They prefer to win the competition over collaboration. However, their fixation on competition and achievement comes at a cost as those around them often neglect their loved ones or find it difficult to form meaningful relationships with others.
However, we are all guilty of social disconnection in one form or another, for example, smartphones, social media, and gaming increase our dopamine levels where we are no longer aware of our surroundings and more engrossed in our virtual world.
Typically if both my daughter and I are in the same room and we are glued to our devices we can go without speaking a word for hours at a time. This may seem like an unhealthy relationship although I do try stopping what I am doing most of the time to give my undivided attention. The way I see it is, we could be here one day and gone tomorrow therefore spending quality time with the people we cherish the most is by far more meaningful rather than wasting your time on things that do not matter. Building memories should be prioritized rather than spending your valuable time on social media or gaming unless there is money to make from it of course.
I remember my father where he worked, he isolated himself from the other workers at lunch break. He believed he had nothing in common with the workers other than sharing the same workplace and the workers singled him out through social class because they were mostly women and he was the only male and foreign.
For me, the reason why I choose the company I keep is that you have heard the saying”once bitten twice shy”, not only this unless someone is as passionate as I am about what I have built and will continue building. I am a businesswoman first and foremost.I do not believe, people who do not share my vision will ever share a common ground. I find small talk monotonous and would much rather be turning the wheel generating leads rather than wasting time chatting about the weather. Unless the person I am talking to can help me bring food to the table or help my business grow, then I am afraid they are not worthy of my time.
I have also been on the receiving end of certain people’s attitudes and it only fits to be friends when it suits them. When someone only contacts you once or twice in the year, they are not a friend. I have reached out to certain individuals for support in the past and they basically turned their backs on me, although if I was to bring the subject matter up I am convinced they would deny ever doing it. It just shows how people can be two-faced.
However, although I am highly motivated and driven in my work I also prefer to physically distance myself from people because of the pandemic. I am very aware of my surroundings and germ awareness. I take after my father in that respect as he was a loner and so am I. I prefer my own company.
Social disconnection worsens mental health after a loss.
Of course, social disconnection could be because of mental health, grief, and loss.
But it could be forced upon us through pandemic regulations. Sometimes people have no choice if they are restricted with whom they can meet and where.
I have experienced unimaginable grief something that is too painful to recall now. So in order to protect me from harm, I prefer not to socialize. I have trusted too many people in my life who have failed me and each time there is always something that I regretted saying or sharing, which was then used against me. When I needed certain people when I felt vulnerable were where they then?
Keeping grief hidden can be a survival technique after suffering a bereavement and can cause your mental health to worsen. I am very vocal when it comes to grief. However, research has shown that the social disconnection caused by concealing feelings of loss can increase psychological distress.
After bereavement, some people find it difficult to open up and say something is wrong, and that they feel immense sadness. They may experience an overwhelming feeling of despair and fear of looking vulnerable and insecure in front of friends and family can lead the bereft to avoid social contact altogether.
Studies have shown that individuals who report being socially disconnected are more psychologically distressed in the first 6 months of loss. Yet one government civil servant once so callously asked me and I quote “so how long do I expect to grieve” not long after my mother had passed away. I have never forgotten his name.
For me, the healing process is long and hard and one has to just grin and bear it so to speak. My memories of my loved ones that have passed away are as fresh as if they were yesterday and I will always carry sadness in my heart. I find writing very therapeutic. My journey is a long one in which I will find pastures new and I believe if you want to heal there are plenty of self-help resources available online.
If you find life unbearable please look at the useful links page to organizations that can help or contact your general practitioner for a consultation. You should never suffer in silence or go through it alone,
My superpower is the keyboard where I can release all my tension, anger, and frustration without having to leave my home and speak to anyone. For me, social disconnection is being able to connect with everyone on the planet virtually but to avoid all contact physically with the outside world. I can just about handle couriers and contractors to a certain degree, but to physically meet with someone is presently impossible for me.
If you have a story to share, just use the form below and get your story published.
Finally, Christmas is nearly over, thank God for that…
I am fed up with seeing how happy people are flaunting their Christmas gatherings to the world that may make other people who find Christmas difficult this time of year, very daunting.
Don’t get me wrong, I am happy for everyone who can enjoy Christmas but to flaunt it around people who are not so fortunate to spend Christmas with their loved ones is sinful and conceited.
The same goes with people showing off how much money they have or being judgemental because they have a house but in reality, it is mortgaged up to the hilt. Nine times out of ten people wearing designer clothes are not as rich as they make out.
I for one own multiple digital real estate but for the ordinary person this may not be something they understand. Not everyone knows the value of domain names and the equity that may hold.
Regardless of whether it is a bricks-and-mortar property or a digital asset, it is still deemed to have value and people need to educate themselves before casting judgment.
As for Christmas, I am fed up with people asking me what I did and who I spent it with. I did “Jack Diddly Squat” for Christmas because I do not celebrate it anymore, what is there to celebrate when both my parents and my brother are no longer alive?
Christmas Day is just another day. For me, I stayed home alone over Christmas as my daughter stayed over with her boyfriend’s family but that was fine with me because I took advantage of the time to relax.
I must admit my Christmas did not go without a hitch and was stressful because of a couple of incidents with Amazon delivery and yesterday’s fiasco where my bath had sprung a leak and flooded my neighbor’s ceiling.
I ended up having a full-on panic attack and could not stop the water from pouring because my bath was not holding in the water and apparently as I found out today the silver part of the drain had come loose which caused water to not empty through the waste pipe but directly onto the floorboards and onto my neighbor’s ceiling, as you can see by the video.
Next Door Neighbours Flat Below Me!
So as you can imagine it took its toll on my health yesterday to the point that after the contractor left today, I ended up falling asleep for a good few hours during the day which is unusual for me as I never do that.
With this said, I spoke to someone today about my health and it seems that no matter what I say it goes over people’s heads.
I stated I have a problem with social disconnection and also problems walking because of my bad knee and it is as if they cannot comprehend that I cannot walk far because I am not on crutches or do not have a walking stick.
I stated, after a couple of times coming up and down my stairs, my knee gets painful and swells and this is what the person said to me and I quote “It will be nice to walk around the park and get some fresh air“. My response online to this is “did they not hear what I said I cannot walk far“, and how is walking around the park going to benefit me in any way?, what about the time I would have to take off from my work?
You would not expect any successful entrepreneur to put their businesses on hold for leisurely strolls.
I have four businesses,I am worth a lot of money on paper and no one is going to get in between.
Another thing people do not understand if they have never run a business before is that a self-employed person’s income is not guaranteed, they have to work ten times harder than an employee to find leads and keep them. An employee takes their wages for granted as it is a secure income for them for the duration they work for a company. However, with the uncertainty of the high street and hospitality sector and business closures because of the pandemic, an entrepreneur has to do everything they can to secure their business and make it run smoothly, never mind make sure their clients pay them on time. Running a business is not a walk in the park.
I also stated about social disconnection and also the fact I cannot walk very far, this did not comprehend with this person. Not only that, I picked up on some mockery when I laughed about something I said (and the person in the background thought they were being clever and funny by mimicking my laugh, repeating the tone of my laugh), which I purposely ignored but will not forget.
If I want to have fresh air I simply have to open my front door or buy oxygen in a can.
I do not take kindly to people being ignorant and pretending to be my friend just so that they can gossip about me after. I have never been bosom pals with this person even though I have known them for over 20 years, my gut feeling tells me they are false and think highly of themselves.
Furthermore, I know I do not live in a palace at the moment, granted, but trying to imply that they somehow are more superior to me because their property is a mortgaged new build and mine is falling apart rented Listed Georgian House, they do not have the right to be judgemental as they do not know my circumstances and I should not have to explain myself to them.
I was told I could phone them anytime for a chat. I understand they may have had good intentions when saying that but I have nothing in common with them, what exactly would we be chatting about, they are not on the same page as me and never will be? If I need mental health support I have my useful links page to fall back on.
With social disconnection, people like myself do not need other people in their lives and do not like socializing. It is not due entirely to the fact of mental health issues with me it is more so I chose who I wish to spend company with and I am 100% focused on my work. Granted I am wary of intermingling with people because of the pandemic, but I am much happier not being around people physically, I much rather connect with people online.
According to statistics social isolation or disconnection significantly increase a person’s risk of premature death from all causes, a risk that may rival those of smoking, obesity, and physical inactivity. Social isolation is associated with about a 50% percent increased risk of dementia because people’s brains are not as active if they stay at home, where loneliness and boredom kick in.
The above statement I agree to disagree. I choose the company I keep and I am extremely active online, so I am keeping my brain working. I do not smoke and will not say I am obese, perhaps slightly overweight. But again I can always do exercise at home if I really wanted to.
I am always learning and people seem to underestimate me by trying to be do-gooders. I would not have been able to build four businesses for myself and multiple businesses for other people if I was short of a shilling or two.
For me I find writing therapy and learning new things, I love reading and watching documentaries. I always keep myself busy. I am currently researching neuroplasticity, neuroscience, and quantum physics. I have recently completed a course on hypnotherapy and plan to take on more courses in the New Year.
It is nearly this time of year again that I dread. I miss the hustle and bustle of my parents preparing a Christmas Eve dinner where all the family congregated to celebrate Christmas. I miss my parents and my brother.I miss the house we once lived in and I miss the atmosphere and preparations leading up to Christmas and buying presents, wrapping them, and feasting around a twelve-course dinner a Polish Tradition of twelve courses representing the twelve disciples.
Now I am left with just my daughter who has a boyfriend that is not my biggest fan, doing everything he can to avoid talking to me let alone being in the same room as me.
My only surviving close relative is my brother that lives in the USA with his wife and children.
My niece and nephew who are grown-up will fly home to visit their biological mother, but because of my social disconnection disorder, I am finding it hard to leave my house never mind travel to visit them.
Furthermore, Wales is going into lockdown just after Christmas, and no way I am going to go out with sickly people around.
I was once told I was selfish for not having the vaccine, yet what I failed to mention was I have a peg allergy and was advised by the hospital not to have one and have been removed from their list. Sometimes not saying anything is much easier than having to explain yourself.
If there is an ‘Omicron Pandemic’ then all the people that go around spreading germs should be called selfish not me.
No way am I going out until herd immunity has kicked in. This is my choice to work from home and not meet people and am happy just doing Zoom and Skype calls.
Certain people in my network have also asked me what about exercise? advising me to get up early to walk around the lake and back again.
I cannot walk very far because of my bad knee because of the consequences of one person’s actions, a person that kicked my knee 7 times to cause it to dislocate on purpose. Even if I had a good knee I do not have the time to take off (please view an example of my Critical Time Path below).
I have since that unfortunate day had problems walking and am in excruciating pain if I walk or try to bend. Just in case no one has noticed my bad knee it is because I do not whinge or cry like a baby when I am in pain.
For example, If I have 150 websites to manage to give them 2 hours of my time, where can I find the time to do anything else?
My Distant Relatives.
My family in Poland might as well be dead to me as I have no respect for them after a massive family disagreement that involved my abusive ex-partner. I tried being the bigger person and offered an olive branch and not one of them has bothered to reach out to me, which is really sad. This is another story that I will write in my autobiography someday.
I do have family in Mexico but because I am not vaccinated it is going to be virtually impossible for me to visit them (I have a Peg Allergy and Social Disconnection Disorder).
I did try speaking with my GP a few weeks ago but was met by the rottweiler of a practice manager that tried to intimidate me and refused to pass my message on that I needed to speak with the head GP over a complaint where I had written a letter in May 2021 as it had not been answered. She told me GP’s are too busy to correspond, I wrote about GP Negligence in the article here.
So the naysayers will say so why do I not find another GP, well that would mean me going out of my comfort zone and being among sickly people. OCD and GP waiting rooms do not work well.
Don’t get me wrong I am ok, I do find Christmas rather depressing but how I see it, it is just another day with no meaning anymore.
I try to avoid talking to people on a social scale because why should I pretend to be happy this time of year when I am not. Nobody can possibly understand how I feel if they have not walked in my shoes.
No one has a right to judge me or give their advice if they are not professionals or experts in the field of psychology.
I have tried getting more help perhaps upping my medication but my GP surgery is as helpful as a chocolate fireguard. My email snippet can be viewed below, which was ignored:
Will I sue them for the negligence, of course, I will but first I have to get Christmas out of the way.
I won’t say I hate my life, it could be better with my mental health and I believe it will be with my self-help therapy no thanks to the NHS may I add.
I have found a purpose in life and am on my way to getting everything I desire. Once I achieve all my goals God help anyone that tried to stand in my way.
I find writing my thoughts down is therapeutic as well as scripting positive thoughts.
If anything I will treat myself to a fancy Christmas Dinner delivered by “Deliveroo” and maybe watch a film or two, no point cooking for one.
I stay away from alcohol as it got me into a lot of trouble no end of times when I got drunk in the past and now I want to preserve my precious brain cells rather than suffer from a thumping headache the day after. I do not see the sense of drinking and getting drunk and wasting money on something my body will dispense down the toilet.
Currently, I am feeling a little low, I have my worries and anxieties, just like most people this time of year, and am trying to work through them.
I also have a demonic cat that does nothing for my mental health and keeps me up all night long. He does not belong to me and is my daughters’. I am extremely tired because he constantly meows or tries to break the door down if I lock him in a room. God Only Knows what the neighbors must think?
I am doing my best to not give in or give up, although I have been very close to hanging up my apron strings on more than one occasion in the past, I know if I persevere I will get to where I am going.
At the moment I am like a modern-day Howard Huges(I may not be as bad as him, I certainly do not sit naked in front of my computer 🤣😂 but I do have a problem with germs, may I add OCD is not a laughing matter) it does not stop me fromworking, and following my dreams but on my own terms.
I will just like last year have my chat open throughout the Christmas period just in case anyone is feeling low and wants someone to talk to. I will also announce it on my front and on all my social media networks.
Yes, life can be a shit show but if you find something positive to do and can focus on, you can start to create a better life for yourself. There are plenty of opportunities if you know where to look.
Everyone has a story to tell, and am eager to hear yours…
Drop Me A Message Using the Form Below or Start A Chat.
I will have Chat Open Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Boxing Day, New Year’s Eve, and News Day, just in case someone is feeling low.
Wishing Everyone a Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and a Prosperous New Year 2022!
Many of us worry about speaking to our GP at the best of times and it is more difficult especially if we have mental health and anxiety issues.
However, doing nothing about your ailments and bottling things up can make things worse. It’s better to seek help early rather than let it fester into something worse. That way you can start receiving the treatment you need to set you on the road to recovery.
“GPs are normally the first port of call for physical and mental health concerns. However, for someone like myself who suffers from anxiety, it can be overwhelming physically having a conversation about what you are thinking or feeling with your GP or practice nurse, someone you may hardly know.
Whatever way you decide about communicating with your GP they will want to speak with you even if you appoint a friend or family member to speak on your behalf (data protection), they will still want to speak with you.
Mind Charity has put together a guide with some tips on how to prepare for your appointment and make the most of the short time you get with them. Find out more at www.mind.org.uk/findthewords.”
Speaking to your GP or practice nurse should be your first step to getting help. However, if you are anxious it might be an idea to contact your GP via email or snail mail. However, this can be passed to the practice manager, for everyone to see and read. In fact, I wrote such an email to my GP last May 2021 and the practice manager and cluster pharmacist both confirmed they read my letter which was not addressed to them yet my GP has not bothered to respond to my letter at all.
The only time I will be speaking to my GP once I muster the courage to phone them to raise my complaint will be through court and suing them for negligence.
What is concerning is I do need medical attention as some of my symptoms have escalated, but I cannot bring myself to phone the GP Surgery as I feel I will lose my rag with them. Furthermore, I have social disconnection issues and cannot interact with anyone other than my family and online.
Feeling Suicidal is when a person is in a very dark place metaphorically speaking when they have lost the will to live and they see no other way of escaping from the nightmare they are in.
The rise in suicides likely to be linked to austerity – but the story behind each suicide is complex.
When a person has lost all hope and the will to live they cannot see anything else other than dying. They believe that once they die their nightmare will be over and they will not feel anguish, sadness, loneliness, or despair. They do believe the grass is greener on the other side but is it though?.. Some people believe if you commit suicide you go to hell. So if life feels like hell right now, the real hell will be far worse.
When a person falls into this state of feeling hopeless when nothing is working out fine for them and no one understands them or cares or bothers with them it is understandable they may sink deeper into the abyss.
Most of our depression is fueled by fear, loss, and grief. “Disabled Entrepreneur UK” covers all topics in all categories (I have linked some of the topics in this article).
There are many factors that can cause a person to feel so low:
They feel like a failure, they have nothing to show for their life, they fear failure.
They have lost their job.
They have lost their home, through evicition or natual disaster, divorce, seperation or money problems such as bankruptcy or not being able to keep up with the mortgage payments.
They have lost their family through death or family fued.
They have or are going through a divorce and are losing their home, their children and their money.
They have been robbed.
Their business is going under.
They have lost their life partner, through seperation, or death.
They have lost their child through miscarrage, illness or accidental death.
They are discriminated, humiliated or made a mockery of. They have people or institutes that judge them.
The have financial burdens that if their money was taken away how would they cope (benefits).
They feel no one cares or understands them and every time they reach out people do not take them seriously.
They are stuck in a physically and mentally abusive relationship.
They are being bullied in school or in the workplace.
Harrassment because of sexual orientation, religion, skin colour, beliefs, ethnicity.
They have no friends.
They feel lonely.
They feel the world has turned against them.
Their family and friends have turned against them because or their sexual orientation, religion or beliefs.
They are the abuser in a domstic viilent relationship and have they gone too far with their actions and feel worried they will get caught.
Many adults will experience feelings of hopelessness or suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives.
This could be because they do not have a close support network that understands them (friends/family/co-workers) and they may feel embarrassed to reach anyone in their network for the fear of being laughed at or for the worries they have to be brushed under the carpet so to speak.
SIGNSTO LOOK OUT FOR.
Social Withdrawal.
Excessive Quietness,
Irritability.
Uncharacteristic Outbursts.
Crying For No Reason.
Hating Everything and Everyone.
Talking about Death or Suicide.
“If you are feeling suicidal, the most important thing is to talk to someone“.
“If authoritarian institutions try to judge or discriminate against a person for their mental health, remind them no one is perfect and everyone could be in the same shoes as a suicidal person one day feeling life is not worth living”.
When you feel sad and lonely and feel you have no one to turn to there are organizations specifically designed to help people going through what you are going through. They are not discriminating or judgemental they actually care about you as they would not be there otherwise. They are there to lend an ear, you do not even have to say your real name. You just need to take the brave steps to reach out that is all you have to do.
If you are going through a difficult time, you may be feeling isolated and disconnected from your friends, family, or other groups. It might it difficult to start a conversation about your feelings, therefore there are organizations such as the Samaritans that can listen to your problems and perhaps steer you in the right direction. But it’s important that you let the people around you know how you are feeling. It’s important to remember that people in these organizations care and will want to help you.
Saying that, be prepared for the people in your immediate circle that may be oblivious to your sadness and may try to back away because they have their own problems.
The best people to start with are the ones that have been professionally trained, such as a GP or Mental Health Organisation. Not everyone in your close network of friends and family will understand or even want to help you, so keep that in mind.
What to do if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts
Your GP should be the first point of contact for any issues affecting your physical and mental health, including suicidal thoughts. They will also be able to diagnose a state of depression or anything in your lifestyle that may be contributing to how you may be feeling.
If you do not have a GP but need to speak with a doctor urgently, you can call NHS non-emergency number on 111 and they will direct you to the nearest available walk-in centre or doctor’s surgery.
Tips for coping with suicidal feelings:
Try not to think about the future, just focus on the present and getting through the day, start by taking baby steps.
Avoid drugs or alcohol, these will only add fuel to the fire.
Go to a safe place like a friend’s house, family or public area, avoid being stuck at home alone, go somewhere where there are people around.
Start a journal, this could be a physical book or online blog.
Find a reason to help others through your personal story.
Do something you usually enjoy.
If you are about to harm yourself or have already done so, call 999 as soon as possible or go to Accident and Emergency (A&E) at the nearest hospital.
Professional suicide support services
If you’re feeling very low, you can contact any of the professional support services below for free.
Sane Line – call 0300 304 7000 (available 4.30pm – 10.30pm every day)
Papyrus Hopeline – call 0800 068 4141, text 07786209697 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org (available 10am – 10pm weekdays, 2pm – 10pm weekends and bank holidays)
The Mental Health Foundation is concerned but not surprised by the latest UK suicide figures. They are in line with other evidence of the distress people are feeling, such as rates of self-harm and self-reported feelings of shame.
Some of the rises in the number of suicides may be due to a change in the rules in England and Wales about how coroners should record suicides. However, it is currently too soon to know what difference the change has made.
Whenever a person takes their own life, there is a complex story behind it.
There is also not a single simple explanation for the increase in the number of people taking their own lives, but it is likely to be linked with economic austerity. We know that suicide rates are linked with people’s uncertainty about their financial futures, unemployment, persistent inequality, loneliness, discrimination, and ill-health.(Citation/Credit).
Asking about suicide does not encourage it, nor does it lead a person to start thinking about it; in fact it may help prevent it, and can start a potentially life-saving conversation
Note From the Editor.
However, I have to agree to disagree, I suffer from Mental Health Issues and on my last PIP assessment I was asked that very question, have I had suicidal thoughts.
Firstly I would not admit to anyone if I had them or not.
Secondly if I did not have those thoughts I basically was given a loaded gun because if I was not thinking about it before, I most certainly was thinking it now and had a seed planted in my head, which I could have easily gone through with it had I have been in that state of mind.
“The difference is I do have everything to live for and can teach people including institutions asking someone directly if they are feeling suicidal can go one of two ways and one has to tread carefully”.
“One needs to be subtle and not cause a person to immediately go on the defense and on guard. No one will admit they feel suicidal especially to a stranger unless they actively are looking to get help and are prepared to get the support they need”.
For me personally, this crossed my mind on the odd occasion, but I was not telling a PIP assessor who I did not know and besides my own personal story is complex, it is not one incident but many incidents with many people’s/entities actions that I can blame over many years that have caused me to feel depressed”.
“As I walked away with a loaded gun that the PIP Assessor had metaphorically given and had I not found the strength to over-ride my thoughts I very much doubt you would be reading my story today”.
I have since learned that one can over-ride one’s thoughts with neuroscience which I am actively researching. I hope to publish my findings in the near future.
What assessors should ask instead is:
Have you been feeling low?
Do you feel you can talk to someone?
How often do you feel low?
Do you have friends or family you can talk to?
Do you feel hopeless?
Do you feel worthless?
Do you feel the world is against you?
Do you know of any support networks you can reach out to?
Do you turn to alcohol or recreational drugs to surpress your thoughts?
Do you feel your thoughts are very intrusive?
Do you isolate yourself from society?
Can you cope with life?
Do you have any hobbies?
Do you feel proud of yourself?
Has anyone tried to hurt you physically or mentally?
World Health Organisation:
According to “WHO” Nearly 800,000 people die by suicide in the world each year, which is roughly one death every 40 seconds.
Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-24 years.
Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.
When someone you know looks or behaves not their usual self, ask them if they are ok and that they can talk to you whenever they want with no pressure. Always be kind to people as you do not know what they are going through or feeling.
Never be judgemental or dictate to them what they should or should not do. Everyone has the ability to make their own decisions for their own reasons. If you have an opinion tell it once, it is up to the person to listen, continue bombarding the person with your opinions will eventually make the person withdraw from you. If people do not want to listen or take on board your advice do not force it on them.
If you say you are going to phone someone, stick to it, and never give empty promises as that person could just be waiting for you (CD) as there are consequences to our actions.
Do not be that family member that only reaches out once a year at Christmas. Phone the person regularly throughout the year. Get the distant relative involved in your life, do not disregard them like leftover meat. Phone them if they are not inclined to meet with you.
People battle demons in their heads and it is only right for you as a decent human being to be there for the person that may be going through worse ordeals than yourself.
If you are a good person you will spread awareness that people do not have to go through things alone, share your story so that people can relate to you.
If you do not have a job and no one wants to employ you, then create a job and be your own boss. I can motivate and inspire anyone.
Nothing is so bad that you cannot overcome the problem(s) you are faced with, believe me, I know, I have been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. In fact, it did cross my mind on the odd occasion but found a way to get through it. Besides, I have a family and a business I am grateful for having a roof over my head and food to eat. Find the things you are grateful for and think there is always someone worse off than you. Where there is a will there is a way. Obstacles are there so that we can learn how to overcome them. Life is a lesson to be learned.
So if I can survive with everything I have gone through over the years, so can you.
Suicide is so very final and there is no guarantee what you will be faced with on the other side. It could be as some believe that people who commit suicide go straight to hell and some countries do not give people proper burials just dump their bodies in mass graves. It’s ironic that the actor who played the character Chris Nielsen (Robin Williams) “What Dreams May Come” in a film about suicide, committed suicide. Even famous people have demons and get depressed. (Rich and Depressed).
I have been pushed to my limits many times including when I lost both my parents and my brother but I have also had to deal with domestic violence not to mention losing someone I loved. This is part of the grieving process.
There will always be people who will try to be judgemental and will think they are better than you. Let it all go over your head, no one on this planet is better than you. Just because they may be more educated, have social status, or are some sort of institution or royalty, behind every company, there is a human being doing exactly the same as you, eating, sleeping, and surviving.
Anyone who is reading this and simply wants to talk can set up an anonymous Gmail account and message me using the form below.
“Nothing is unbearable that cannot be conquered”.
For me how I deal with depression other than doing research I use this site to write my mental health problems as an online digital journal specifically designed to help myself and others like me.
“I can lend an ear and point you in the right direction, you do not have to give your real nameand everything you say will be kept confidential”.
**Please note: messages are answered within 24 hours.
However, you can chat with me using the chatbox, Open Monday to Friday Business Hours.
If you want to speak with someone outside of these hours I recommend getting in touch with the Samaritans.
“If you want to write your own story I can create your own page and together we can inspire more people”.
Did you know that rich people get depressed just like the disabled, working-class, and poor? In fact, in our current climate, everyone gets depressed at some point in their lives regardless, of gender, ethnicity, job title, social status, wealth, or physical and mental disabilities?
There is no such thing as a perfect world or perfect lifestyle that most of us try to strive for. The higher we climb the harder we fall and with more wealth, there will be more problems.
Rich people are prone to depression because a lot of money of their net worth exists in untouchable assets such as home equity and retirement accounts, not only pressures of work can take their toll on a person’s mental state. For rich people some of the time their wealth only exists on paper and they cannot spend it and run the risk of disappearing due to market conditions.
Rich people spend less time with their families and more time at work, this then puts strain on relationships.
Where the working class person can allocate time to spend with their families in the evenings and weekends and middle to high-class entrepreneurs will prioritize their business in order to run a tight ship. with no time wasted and every day is one day closer to striking gold and more gold. Not everyone is born privileged.
However, saying this person is born privileged or is famous and in the public arena may find it difficult to live normal lives. They cannot just pop down to a local cafe or supermarket their every move is documented so they live in a secluded place away from prying eyes.
The upper class and born privileged person may not understand about other classes and with money flowing may take their wealth for granted but again a wealthy person may also experience depression as they cannot walk on Gods earth freely without being followed by paparazzi and may have to have an entourage of security guarding them. They cannot walk into a store or go anywhere public. They are imprisoned in their own surroundings. They may not have the freedom to do things randomly unlike the rest of the world.
Most CEOs, founders, the innovators are prone to depression more so than the average person, possessing subtle psychopathic traits and be more prone to addiction.
Their addiction and obsession with work only fuel the fire to not fail. Rich people may also turn to alcohol and recreational drugs to self-medicate. These tendencies may even help the individual rise to such heights through their insecurities.
Research suggests that CEOs may be depressed at more than double the rate of the general public (which is already about 20%).
It is also suggested that even privileged rich kids are, counter-intuitively, more depressed and anxious than their middle- or low-income peers. This could be because a social group trap is so tight-knit that it would be virtually impossible to make friends out of their social circle, giving rich kids less freedom. Rich kids do not mix with poor kids or vice versa.
People on low incomes have lower expectations and working-class families learn to cope with the bare minimums and are truly grateful for what they have, which high class have more expectations and are not grateful of what they have because they always want more and better things than the Jones’s. Low-class families are more humble and can show more empathy and understand that a less privileged person will be eternally grateful for any help that is given to them.
Hence a lower class family will be eternally grateful compared to a wealthy family. Whilst a wealthy family will expect the best of the best and if they do not get what they desire they may experience anxiety and depression. There is currently not enough research about the prevalence of depression in the upper vs. the lower socioeconomic classes within a country.
Psychologists who have treated the very high-functioning C-suite types over the years have collected data consensus that tells them that people of high social status and enormous wealth are prone to major depression for a variety of reasons than people of other socioeconomic strata.
Todd Essig, a Forbes writer, and psychologist in New York City said “Uber-success can be depressogenic”. “Many C-suite executives are prone to depression, despite their success, maybe even because of it.”
Depression can affect the lives of everyone, in any stratum.
Regardless if you are rich, poor, or with a disability, no one is immune to anxiety and depression.
However, people who have extreme success are more prone to depression because a person who is successful has chased their own dream and is more protective of it causing isolation and the pressures to keep it a success and not to fail can cause a person to isolate.
People of extreme successes are more prone to criticism there will always be competitors and haters and people just watching and waiting for them to fail.
A person in the public eye may not always have people who will believe in their success.
In this not-so-perfect world where most of us want a perfect life, this is virtually impossible as money cannot buy you happiness. It is a constant battle to please people to have people on the same page as you and there will always be people that are jealous and will say things out of context just to hurt you. It is a constant battle to stay on top which triggers depression in those you’d least expect it. People who are successful, wealthy, and with a disability may find even more pressure to not fail and have to work even harder to get around obstacles. In fact, some of the most successful people in history have suffered from relentless, incapacitating depression – some have won their battles, or, at least, continued to battle, yet some, sadly, succumb to them.
Comparing yourself to the Joneses
People who are extremely successful and very wealthy will always want the best of the best and will always compete with one another to have something grander. This could be the best-hosted party in which mingling with other wealthy people only puts more pressure to make their event even more spectacular. Their competitors, neighbor, or friends dripping with jewels then their jewels would have to be bigger and more expensive, this could also be designer clothes, accessories, cars, properties, etc. They constantly compare themselves to the Joneses. Countries that are low-income, on the other hand, have low depression rates. However even countries with low wealth still like to compete, you should see the graves in Poland the bigger and grander reflects the wealth of the family.
Some people habitually measure their self-worth by materialistic items that they own. Even people of low wealth try to portray they are rich by wearing designer clothes and accessories but in reality, they do not have two pennies to rub together. Not everything that glistens is gold.
Quality Time
People of working or low class have time to delegate their free time whilst a person who is an entrepreneur will be more driven in making their business succeed and may neglect family in order to concentrate on making their business a success. Once at the top of the ladder they will constantly be overprotective to make their business stay in the number one spot. This adds further stress and anxiety and eventually depression.
People of the lower class do not have the same expectations and those of the working or middle or higher class. They may be complacent to what they have and will not be driven to improve their lives they will not have the same pressure as working or middle-class people. Entrepreneurs are on the spectrum of the lower, working, middle and upper class but they have a key goal to succeed. They will battle to climb the ladder. To achieve extreme success, a person needs to dedicate an extraordinary amount of time and effort to get there, which can make for a life that feels precipitous and lonely.
People climbing the ladder may find everyday things that people take for granted like spending time with family mundane and not proactive. Going for leisurely walks or taking time out to exercise may be an ordeal and you will be surprised that many successful people have their own Gyms or exercise bikes in their offices. Also engaging in meaningless conversations and socializing with people that do not have the same vision adds even more pressure to socially disconnect.
Privilege People
People who have been born wealthy and do not have to ever worry about putting food on the table may find it hard to cope if they find themselves in uncharted territory. People born into wealth do not understand and may find it harder to cope with life problems as they have always been shielded from it. Arnold Washton, a psychologist at Compass Health Group said that depression may also be more common in people who have only known wealth, since they may not be familiar with bootstrapping themselves through difficult times. However, people who self-made millionaires or billionaires may be more resilient as they have experienced the struggles of getting to the top and they know what to expect. A self-made millionaire, a billionaire has more authority to teach people about wealth than someone who was born with a silver spoon in their mouth.
Thehigher you rise the harder you fall.
To be always vigilant and be prepared for disasters and knowing from all the mistakes and failures you have had will give you a building block to start again. Having a stepping stone if things go belly up and being able to reinvent yourself is one key factor to making sure you succeed. If something is not working quite right create another building block. When business is bad, it goes without saying that depression would be more likely. In good economic times, even if every milestone is hit at exactly the right point, some may find that they feel they have failed. Rather than let everything come tumbling down have strategies in place for every economic disaster.
Just because someone is super-wealthy does not mean you have to be less empathetic towards them. By helping them get through their depression will encourage them to help you. The super-rich also have bills to pay and have obligations just like you and I. Obviously our bills are nothing compared to the magnitude of theirs but it’s bills all the same. Unless a person is a ruler of the land or oil tycoon even then the laws of the land may forbid their relatives to live normal lives. Even princesses have attempted to escape certain countries because they want to live normal lives. Knowing a person is depressed regardless of their stature one can only offer a helping hand this could be just an anonymous talk or perhaps advice and links to organizations.
Rich Person Insecurities.
Keeping up with the Jones
Health Issues, Mental Health, Physical and Mental Disabilities
Wealth/Money cannot buy you health or happiness. Wealth? Money is a tool and a monetary exchange for something you desire. Wealth can satisfy your needs and fill in an empty void, it can help secure your future and your family’s future but it cannot buy you health or happiness. Having material things and assets may make you feel more superior but it will never make you happy.
The key to happiness is knowing that what you do helps others. However to be happy you need to be healthy and you have to treat your body like a temple. If you look after your body it will look after you the spiritual being in the physical body.
If someone is suffering from depression and recognizes they have a problem this does not make them weak. By reaching out to someone is the first step to healing.
Sharing your pain, your worries, and anxieties are the first step to alleviating the problem. A person who is suffering should not suffer alone and needs to reach out to someone or seek professional help.
Regardless of the person’s title or wealth status, we are all human at the end of the day.
Regardless of who you are you can drop us a line you do not have to give your real name and you can set up a Gmail email if you simply feel life is unbearable we are here to lend an ear and we can offer suggestions.
Whatever you are going through you do not have to go through it alone. You are not the first or the last person to suffer and you should not suffer in silence.
If you can follow like and share complete strangers’ content and worship celebrities then why can you not be supportive to your family, friends, and their businesses?
I will give you an example I did a social experiment yesterday to see how many members of my family would, like, comment, share, or even respond to a text message and Facebook post I had made, even though they are active online.
You will be surprised to know that I had ZERO interaction from them, yet they want me to sit at the same table as them and have dinner with them.
If you can gawk at a TV show for half an hour idolizing celebs you have never met or spend time on social media platforms, why can you not be supportive of friends and family that may rely on likes, shares, and comments to generate more traffic to their businesses?
According to the latest statistics an average person spends 145 minutes every day on social media, or 2 hours and 25 minutes every day. One of the most surprising things is that the figure has gone up by almost a full hour since 2012, so if every person with a smartphone checks their phone for messages and emails to then say they are not connected with the main social media platforms may be telling a white lie. Our brains are wired to release a chemical called dopamine which is a neurotransmitter to make us feel happy, it prompts us to connect online and can be addictive.
It is therefore disappointing to know that these members of my family have totally ignored the message I sent yesterday, in fact, total strangers over 9.5K on LinkedIn alone and I have never met before are more supportive of me online than my own family, which basically says a lot.
Therefore I have to analyse why that could be and this is what I have found.
People are so consumed in their own beliefs and lifestyles and may not understand yours, hence will not be supportive of you.
Others may be insecure about their own dead-end lives and may not want you to succeed for the fear that you might actually make something of yourself and leave them standing. This for all intent and purposes it is jealousy, as they can see you are turning your life around whilst they are stuck in their mundane lives, eating, sleeping, and working with no purpose and most cases up to their eyeballs in debt (mortgages, car loans credit cards, etc). Your life is more exciting than theirs, especially if you are debt-free.
Most people are batteries in the matrix and are programmed and will not support or encourage you because they do not know-how.
Sometimes entrepreneurs may act a little crazy, weird, different, outrageous, and maybe dreamers, believers, trailblazers. This is nothing to be shunned upon in fact it should be celebrated. Yet people do not like anything that is different, they like normal and may label you as eccentric and have reservations and fear that your craziness may rub off on them so they do not comment or interact.
They may think very highly of themselves even going as far as believing they are better than you, so will not be supportive of anything you put your hands to, (which I believe is true). A true friend or sincere family member will reach out to you at least once a month and not a couple of times a year.
Often in entrepreneurship CEOs may make decisions that others would not consider doing as they want to play safely in their mundane lives. They may not support you because they see what you do is a gamble.
If your family or friends see no change in your lifestyle, they may think you are not succeeding and without you proving you have assets they will never believe in you until they see it for themselves, hence will not give you the encouragement as they will assume and presume you are failing.
People may not support you because they do not believe in your values.
They may not understand the concept that the more likes, shares, and comments you have the more traffic it will attract as their friends will see your content also and the cycle continues.
I wrote a post on Linkedin asking if a domain broker does not interact with you on your posts, should you like, share and comment on their posts? I believe everyone that wants exposure should interact with one another, a bit like “I will scratch your back if you scratch mine”. It does not have to be business orientated it could be you as an individual wanting more connections, friend requests, and liked to your posts.
“When someone does not support or encourage you, do what you do twice and take pictures”.
My social experiment was a disaster but my family got the message I was advertising, even though they may deny ever receiving anything from me and not realize the aftermath and consequences of their unresponsive reactions.
There is always a domino effect to everything we do in life. If they are not interested in my life, only when it suits them, then why should I be interested in theirs?
“Their beliefs are not your beliefs”.
“Never tell people your problems, 80% don’t care and the other 20% are glad you have them”.
“Don’t feel bad when people reject you. People usually reject things because they can’t afford them”.
“Never ignore someone who cares about you because someday you’ll realize you lost a diamond when you were busy collecting stones”.
For me, I am trying to not be resentful because the members of my family that have not been supportive in what I do could have helped me by spreading awareness which essentially costs nothing. I do not need empowerment from them, they have had plenty of chances, but it would have been nice to have had a like, comment, and share rather than nothing at all.
In turn, they could have inadvertently helped others like myself that suffer from disabilities to encourage them with kind comments. It is not as if they never received my message as I sent them all a text message which was delivered.
Giving support and encouragement can be uplifting and can change a person’s mood and help with mental health issues. Always be kind and considerate and do think twice before scrolling past a post or completely ignoring a text message, especially if they are friends or family.
My family’s time will come when they will learn the truth of how I actually have felt and how their lack of support has affected my mental health.
I do not dwell on things, just record certain memories for reference. I am learning to disassociate myself from negativity and judgemental people, who are just watching and waiting for you to fail. Never let anyone’s negativity alter your mental state it is their opinion it is no the rest of the world’s opinion and who are they at the end of the day if they are judgemental and unsupportive.
I have this methology “if life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. I am not the type of person to whinge and moan, I just make the most of what I have and try to get on with it.
I always keep myself busy and set goals. However my physical and mental disabilities are obstacles that daily I have to get round.
My OCD is by far one of my prominent disabilities and have designed a quarantined cocoon area where only I have access to. This area allows me to be free of any anxieties that I would have in the normal environment. I have adopted this practice to save cleaning my whole home from top to bottom day in and day out. Believe me I used to clean from top to bottom every single day until I realised I was wasting valuable time doing something else.
Keeping myself busy does help to block out intrusive thoughts to a certain degree. I am the worlds worse for critising myself. I try to brain train to reason with myself that what I do is ridiculous and out of character to normal people, but it all is related to stress, anxiety and depression. Depending how stress I am under will depend how well my day will be. If I am super stressed, I find that I cannot concentrate and even do minuscule tasks.
My OCD is germ contamination related and I am even more conscious of my surrounding and the things that I touch. I dislike people visting me and visa versa. I prefer not to go out, hence I am not going out any time soon pandemic regulations or not.
Cerebellar Atrophy (I lose my balance or grip and muddle my words up especially when I write, I also have mental blocks).
OCD (I am aware of germ cross contimination and and am careful what I touch).
Social Disconnection (I prefer my own company and not go out and socialise, although we can’t anyway but you get my drift).
PTSD (I have flashbacks of the physical and mental trauma I endured in the past and certain things trigger my depression).
Clinical Depression (This is related to past physical and mental trauma I endured, in which there are days where I go to a dark place).
Rheumatoid Arthritis (I cannot bend my knee, again from past physical trauma/abuse).
Dysphagia (I sometimes choke of food, I get a painful feeling followed by trouble swallowing and breathing and only when the food is dislodged does the feeling subside, gross I know but what can I do? I have been told I could have surgery but there is no gauarantee that it would work. I am not going to go under the knife for anything, I can tell you that for sure).
Epidural Analgesia (Chronic Back Pain, even bending down to feed the cat makes my back spasm, the same goes if I am standing for excessive length of time I have shooting pains from the small of my back to the nape of my neck. Simple taskes like taking out the rubbish or bringing in the grocery shopping has brought tears to my eyes in the past).
So yes I have good days and bad days but I do not dwell on my ailments and try to live the best way I can. I adapt to around my disabilities. Fortuantely for me I offer digital services so I can do 100% of my work online and do not have to venture out.
Stress and worry are contributing factorsto my OCD, PTSD, Depression and Social Disconnection.
Getting headaches (I have regular headaches)
Having stomach cramps (I have a bad stomach most days, but that can be from drinking energy drinks to keep me awake).
Not being able to sleep (I find my medication helps me sleep but it takes a few hours for me to wind down, hence I watch a film or play a game, I also read books from time to time).
Feeling pains in your chest (I do not get them often but when I do it is scary as I have also experienced jaw ache and shooting pain down my left arm in the past). I have had an ecg scan done and the doctor said there was nothing wrong, yet the same doctor also prescribed antacid ‘Gaviscon’ to my daughter even though she was later diagnosed with MS after I admitted her into A&E.
Having constant worring (If I do not keep myself busy I do worry hence I try to keep my mind occupied all the time). Worrying only makes your health deteriorate and although life struggles can get in the way of your happiness, one needs to find a way to tackle the problem we are faced with, rather than sweep them under the carpet. Confronting your inner demons makes you stronger. Sometimes simply writing down your problems is the first step to dealing with whatever is on your mind. Talking to a friend or family member also helps but for me expessing my emotions in the form of a blog is theraputic in itself.
Having panic attacks (I only get these if I have to meet negative people). People that judge or critise, you know the people I am talking about or if I have a deadline in work or something that I have seen or heard that has triggered the onset of sheer panic. However for most part I am organised and know to how to avoid trigger warnings, so panic attacks are subdued.
Feeling shortness of breath, (I only get this if I cannot swallow due to my Dysphagia or at times when I have in the past been in distress, due to the trauma and abuse I endured).
Having mood swings with friends or family (I avoid socialising so no one knows my moods and no one can be on the tail end if I do have a bad day).
Finding it hard to feel happy (Continuously reassuring myself and staying positive that what I am doing will eventually change my life for the better, is enough to motivate me to get up and tackle every day tasks).
Although I was going to do a daily/weekly journal of my health, I am not able to do so at present as I have many projects I am working on and simply do not have the time, but I always try to strive to stay focused and optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day.
Obviously adopting a healthy lifestyle can help with coping with life struggles, such as:
Regular Exercise
Breathing Exercise
Meditation
Eating Healthily
Brain Training
Learning New Things
Staying Focused
Being Organised
Setting Goals
Time Management
Avoiding Negative People
Learning to Trust People
Motivation
Talking to Family and Friends About Your Troubles
Discussing your Problems with Professionals, Health, Finance, Relationships etc
Final Thoughts!
I am a disabled entrepreneur and I have created a business round my disabilities. The way I saw it when I first started out, I would not fit in or be accepted in a normal working enviroment and I am the most happiest I have ever been for a long time doing what I do and it works for me. So the way I see it is my disabilities are a blessing in disguise, as I would not be where I am today without them.
I avoid negative judgemental people especially if they have power trips (Trolls especially that have nothing better to do than try an bring a person down, these get immediately blocked).
As for me I will help anyone that genuinely needs my help. I am very good at analysing people and situations and I am very astute.
Stay safe, stay focused and stay motivated, nothing stays the same forever unless you let it…
Intimidation is intentional behavior performed by someone in which it causes another person (the victim) fear either by physical or psychological injury or harm.
A perpetrator knows what they are doing and will want to gain control of a situation by making their victim feel insecure.
Intimidationcan cause psychological damage which will make the victim question themselves, which may lead to depression or suicide.
Intimidation in the workplace can make your office environment to be a toxic place to work in.
When your boss or coworker is subjecting you to intimidation in the workplace your mental health will be affected and you may even find you have no choice but to quit your job if the constant bullying becomes unbearable.
What does Intimidation in the Workplace Look Like?
Workplace intimidation, which is also called workplace bullying, happens when someone superior to you or a coworker uses psychological threats, blackmail or verbal abuse to manipulate an employee to do things in order to feel superior over that person (the victim).
Intimidation may become apparant from the start by the superior showing they are above you. It does not have to be gradual as you may be told by your co-workers that the boss is on the prowl and that you have to jump through hoops to please him or her.
In some cases it may be made apparant over time, where the perpetrator accesses the victims weakness and plays on their insecurities. This does not have to be in the workplace it could be a friend, neighbour, partner or landlord. Basically anyone that has control over you in some way and feels they are superior to you can potentially intimidate you if you let them.
Intimidation can be:
Physical violence or threats
Raising Voices
Ignoring you and your requests
Being Hostile physical posturing
Humiliating, ridiculing or insulting you in front of coworkers or customers
Intentionally dicing you work outside your expertise
Purposely finding faults with your work or assigning errors to you that are not your responsibility
Copying your ideas and taking credit for your work
Sabotaging your work or setting you up to fail
Raising the bar for success or setting up different standards for the targeted employee
Interfering with your ability to work
Highlighting the fact that your are dispensable, that you could loose your job if your work is not up to scratch
Showing superiority so that you feel insecure and putting the victim in their place, reminding the victim why they are where they are and how things could eaily change, playing on the victims insecurities.
Intimidation that can cause your mental health to change, such as spreading lies.
Making the employee feel unwelcome or singled out in social events.
Illegal Workplace Discrimination.
When there is intimidation in workplace it can easily cross the line into illegal workplace discrimination.
This applies to conduct based on:
Race
Color
National origin
Sex or gender
Pregnancy
Religion
Disability
Age
If an employer makes employment decisions that hinders your job role and assignments or allows its employees to create a hostile work environment, you may be able to make a discrimiantion claim against the employer. If your employer doesn’t live up to its promises or comply with its anti-harassment policies, you may be able to sue based on a breach of contract claim.
Regarless if intimidation is made in the workplace or in another environment such as a landlord intimidating a tenant for example you do have rights and you can find the relevant help in order that you are no longer intimidated and can live a life without feeling insecure. Nobody should live in fear.
**If you have problems at home with your landlord you should contact your local council office.
Your council should have a tenancy relations officer or a housing team who can help.
The council could:
help you get back into your home
find you somewhere else to live
take your landlord to court for evicting you illegally
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