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Category: Setting Goals

How To Stop Procrastinating

How to stop Procrastinating

What Is Procrastination?

Procrastination is the act of delaying or putting off tasks until the last minute, or past their deadline. Some researchers define procrastination as a “form of self-regulation failure characterized by the irrational delay of tasks despite potentially negative consequences.” According to Joseph Ferrari, a professor of psychology at DePaul University in Chicago and author of “Still Procrastinating: The No Regret Guide to Getting It Done,” around 20% of U.S. adults are chronic procrastinators.

Procrastination: Why It Happens and How to Overcome It (verywellmind.com)

Normally I am a well-organized individual and keep a business journal of things to do which I tick off once completed. But lately, even the to-do lists just lie there collecting dust.

I would much rather surf the net, watch movies and documentaries, and daydream rather than tackle more important issues. I find I can waste my whole day away simply doing nothing.

I lack motivation and enthusiasm and what once interested me no longer has the same appeal.

I think the only way I can get out of the rut I am in is to set goals because if I carry on like a robot I will not reap my rewards.

I have to stop worrying and think where there is an obstacle there is a solution to each problem and rather than avoid it tackle it head-on, with the attitude whatever will be will be. I am fortunate I can write so if there is a problem I can communicate in writing. My writing skills are my superpower.

If something is too hard to complete in one go, break it down into smaller modules.

As an example, I have a client that wants some articles written, and although I have semi-written them they go over the word count quota in which I am finding it difficult to make it shorter, hence am avoiding this person. I should by rights just say the articles will cost more than what he is prepared to pay or just accept his offer and not do any more work for him.

I am guilty of this, I may do everything than the task at hand. I may spend more time watching Netflix than doing my work. I sometimes lack motivation especially when I have things on my mind which are worrying me. People tend to procrastinate and waste countless hours on trivial pursuits (watching TV, updating their Facebook statuses, shopping online) rather than doing actual work or focusing on more important things.

Regardless if you have deadlines to meet and are putting off finishing a project for work, avoiding homework assignments, or ignoring household chores, procrastination can cause significant repercussions and have a major impact on your job, your grades, and your life.

Sometimes people have mental blocks and sometimes if something is troubling them they may avoid doing what urgently needs to be done.

Rather than run away from the problem tackle it head-on. There is no use trying to sweep it under the carpet because it will always be in the back of your mind.

You need to find the strength to deal with it.

Causes

Never leave things to the last minute, because if you do you will make things worse for yourself, you will make errors because you are hurrying and may not put all your thought into whatever you are trying to achieve. Students especially should give plenty of time to research, study, and understand.

Putting things off to the last minute may not give you ample time to finish the job.

You essentially will get yourself more worked up and stressed whereas if you had done it sooner you would not be in a fluster.

Don’t assume that projects won’t take as long to finish, this can lead to a false sense of security when you believe that you still have plenty of time to complete the tasks.

Staying focused and tackling undesirable jobs can help the job to be done quickly even though you may not always feel motivated. The reality is that if you wait until you’re in the right frame of mind to do certain tasks (especially ones you are not particularly looking forward to), you will probably find that the right time may never come and the task will never be completed.

Academics

A report published in 2007 on a meta-analysis in the Psychological Bulletin found that an outstanding 80% to 95% of college students procrastinated on a regular basis, especially when it came to completing assignments and coursework. According to researchers, there are some major cognitive distortions that lead to academic procrastination.

Students tend to:

  • Be bad at time management and may overestimate or underestimate how much time they have left to perform tasks and
  • Lack motivation
  • Assume that they need to be in the right frame of mind to work

What Is Cognitive Bias?

Depression

Stress and depression can cause procrastination. It is the ability to avoid doing something that may urgently need doing and preoccupying one’s mind with something else that may be trivial. Feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and a lack of energy can make it difficult to start (and finish) the simplest task. As an example, I have so many projects waiting to be written and I keep putting them off. I find I am a daydreamer and somehow am willing the projects to miraculously get written by themselves. I have decided to get this post published otherwise it would have lingered in my drafts. Depression can also lead to self-doubt. When you can’t figure out how to tackle a project or feel insecure about your abilities, you might find it easier to put it off.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

MY OCD is germ contamination, but I do have traits of perfectionism to make sure my articles are well-written and proofread before publication.

OCD is often linked with maladaptive perfectionism, which causes fears and anxieties about not messing things up or making new mistakes. It can also lead to doubts about whether you are doing something properly and worrying about what others may think of you or their expectations of you.

I am usually very organized and decisive although it is said that people with OCD also often have a propensity toward indecision, causing them to procrastinate rather than make an active decision. (This is true to a certain degree for me, because if I am anxious about a certain task I may avoid doing it or postpone it to the very last minute).

ADHD

Research has found many adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) find it hard to concentrate and thus struggle with procrastination.

A person who is not focused and is distracted with intrusive thoughts can find it hard to get started on a task, especially if that task is difficult or not interesting to them.

Is Procrastination a Mental Illness?

Although procrastination is not defined as a mental illness, in some cases, it may be symptomatic of an underlying mental health condition such as depression, OCD, or ADHD.

Why Do You Procrastinate?

When it comes to procrastination we often come up with a number of excuses to justify why we avoid doing things. According to researchers, there are 15 key reasons why people say they procrastinate:

  1. Being unsure of what needs to be done
  2. Being unsure of how to do something
  3. Avoiding wanting to do something
  4. Not bothered if it gets done or not
  5. Not bothered when something gets done
  6. Not being in the mood
  7. Leaving things till the last minute
  8. Thinking that you work better under pressure
  9. Believing that you can finish it at the last minute
  10. Lacking the motivation to get started
  11. Not remembering to start something
  12. Using sickness or poor health as an excuse
  13. Believing that the best time to start is at the right moment
  14. Thinking you need time to plan the task
  15. Postponing one task in favor of working on another

Types of Procrastination

Some researchers classify two types of procrastinators: passive and active procrastinators.

  • Passive procrastinators: Postpone tasks because they have trouble making decisions and acting on them
  • Active procrastinators: Postpone tasks deliberately because working under pressure allows them motivated
  • Perfectionist: Avoiding tasks out of the fear of not being able to complete the job perfectly
  • Dreamer: Postpones or avoids tasks because they cannot complete the job thoroughly
  • Defier: Someone that believes their time cannot be dictated and they are in full control
  • Worrier: Postpones or Avoids tasks out of fear of change or leaving the comfort zone.
  • Crisis-maker: Postpones or avoids tasks because they like working under pressure and cannot deal with the stress
  • Overdoer: Someone that takes on too many jobs which may become overwhelming and may struggle to find time to start and complete one job never may several

Procrastinators vs. Non-Procrastinators

“Non-procrastinators do not have a care in the world they are very focused individuals that have good time management and can work under pressure and to deadlines. Non-procrastinators are assertive with strong personal identity do not care what others think about them. According to psychologist Piers Steel, people who don’t procrastinate tend to be high in the personality trait known as conscientiousness, one of the broad dispositions identified by the Big Five theory of personality. People who are high in conscientiousness also tend to be high in other areas including self-discipline, persistence, and personal responsibility.

Procrastination

When procrastination becomes chronic, it may begin to have a serious impact on a person’s daily life and this can become a serious issue. In such instances, it’s not just a matter of having poor time management skills, it’s a major part of their lifestyle.

Procrastinators may avoid paying their bills on time, may come into work late, or delay starting assignments until the night before the deadline, this could include delaying gift shopping until the day before a birthday, and even filing their income tax returns late.

Procrastination can have a serious impact on a person’s daily life routine, this, in turn, can cause serious health issues including mental health. Social, professional, and financial well-being can be affected including:

  • Significant higher levels of stress and illness
  • The increased burden placed on social relationships
  • People not understanding which leads to resentment from friends, family, co-workers, and fellow students
  • Financial Difficulty from the consequences of late bills and late payment charges.

Overcoming Procrastination

  • Re-wire your mind, control your thoughts and stay focused.
  • Create a critical time path and map out each task in a journal or calendar, and set reminders.
  • Create a to-do list: To help keep you on track, consider placing a due date next to each item.
  • Take each step at a time, do not rush, and tick off each completed task. Take baby steps: Consider breaking down the items on your list into small, manageable steps.
  • Have time to meditate for 5 mins in the morning and 5 minutes before you go to bed.
  • Recognize intrusive thoughts and the warning signs, pay attention to any thoughts of procrastination and do your best to resist the urge. When you have a negative thought quickly put that thought into your imaginary bin and quickly replace it with a positive thought.
  • Create a tranquil setting where you cannot be disturbed. Eliminate all distractions including social media if you do not use them for business use.
  • Be self-disciplined, be assertive, and try to work slowly and take one task at a time.
  • Reward yourself with a self-gift for every task completed, it could be a simple bar of chocolate to a more expensive present you have been meaning to buy yourself. Knowing that once you have completed your task and looking forward to receiving your well-deserved purchase makes the job even more worthwhile.

#procrastination #selfdiscipline #intrusivethoughts #assertiveness #selfesteem #avoidance #distractions #meditation #stress #mentalillness #ocd #adhd #fear

Stress & Depression are the root cause of OCD.

Up to ½ million people in the UK have work-related stress often resulting in illness. Up to 5 million people in the UK are ‘very’ or ‘extremely’ stressed through work. ‘Stress, depression, and anxiety are the second most commonly reported work-related illnesses. https://www.stressuless.com/stress.html

Stress & Depression are the root cause of OCD.

Depression may be related to the personal stress developed at home or work. Depression may result after the onset of OCD as in the article below but Depression can also be the result of traumatic events in a person’s life such as Grief which causes a Domino Effect.

Depression | OCD-UK (ocduk.org)

The Link Between OCD and Major Depressive Disorder (verywellmind.com)

What Can Trigger a Depressive Episode? | White Light Behavioral Health (whitelightbh.com)

Renata’s Online Journal Health Update.

I will talk about 5 things relating to me and how they are impacting my life and what I am doing in terms of therapy.

  • Stress
  • Anxiety
  • OCD
  • Intrusive Thoughts
  • Depression

Stress

I am under a tremendous amount of stress for the following reasons:

  1. I have an ongoing dispute with British Gas and it is currently being investigated by the ombudsman.
  2. I have clients dropping like flies because they no longer can afford to pay for their websites due to the price rises of the cost of living.
  3. I am concerned about the stability of a brand new computer that the manufacturer refused to replace or give a refund for. (I am tired of all the arguing I am having to do).
  4. The uncertainty of what the future holds,

I wrote a letter 15 pages long to my GP (Doctor) after I received a letter to make an appointment for my annual medication review, but they could not send me a letter when I wrote to them (9 pages long) in May 2021. I sent both letters via email and both letters were acknowledged and put on the system with a response that a clinician will contact me…I am still waiting for a reply to my letter.

There is a clue in the 4 points I mentioned that can narrow down to the underlying root of how I am feeling, albeit I am also suffering from the aftermath of the domestic violence I endured on top of the daily stresses.

Anxiety

SYMPTOMS OF ANXIETY 

Anxiety may present with any of the following symptoms:

  • Nervousness (I do get nervous when I have to do things I am unfamiliar with relating to work or have to start a dispute to the point I actually feel sick).
  • Being overly and constantly worried (I try to keep myself busy so that I do not have to think too much about my problems).
  • Restlessness (I cannot sit and do nothing, I have to do something, I cannot do idle chitter chatter, I think sitting at a table talking nonsense whilst socializing is a waste of time, I would much rather learn something or turn the wheel to generate business than attend social gatherings -although I cannot at the moment because of my social disconnection issues).
  • Feeling a lump in your throat (If I recall experiencing fear or being in fight or flight mode I have experienced an uncomfortable feeling of finding it hard to swallow).
  • Difficulty concentrating (I have noticed that I cannot concentrate on reading books, it’s as if my mind wanders).
  • Fatigue (I am tired usually when I wake from the interrupted sleeping pattern and a combination of taking my med, so I counteract this by drinking energy drinks that are high in caffeine).
  • Irritability (I am only irritable if things do not go my way).
  • Impatience (I have a short fuse, I do not have patience and I can be rude at times although I usually do apologize I get irritable of people play me to be a fool. people should be careful to insult my intelligence).
  • Muscle tension (Not that I have noticed other than back pain or electricity shooting in the back of my neck but that could be related to Epidural Analgesia).
  • Insomnia (I take medication to send me to sleep otherwise my mind would be racing all night long and I would not be able to sleep).
  • Excessive sweating (Not that I have noticed personally)
  • Shortness of breath (If I have a panic attack, if I am extremely anxious, or if something has really upset me to the point I am becoming a nervous wreck I have been known to have a shortness of breath especially if I have been in a fight or flight mode due to domestic violence).
  • Stomachache (My mother suffered from stomach problems I always thought she was intolerant to certain foods but as I reflect my stomach is normally fine).
  • Diarrhea (Energy drinks do that but the way I relate to this it helps to flush all the toxins out and helps with weight gain).
  • Headache (If I get really stressed my head will thump).
  • Appetite changes (I have not noticed an increase or decrease in appetite but sometimes crave chocolate, but don’t we all).

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental health disorder that causes distress to the sufferer, it may be a recurrent pattern of unwanted thoughts (obsessions) such as germ contamination that lead to repetitive behaviors (compulsions) such as to disinfect and quarantine. Obsessive thoughts are uncontrollable fears, ideas, sensations, or impulses that trigger extreme distress.

Because I am stressed my OCD is more visible. I may have to change my clothes multiple times in the day if I think I have brushed past something by accident. I am unstable in keeping my balance (cerebellar atrophy).

I go through about 500 pairs of disposable gloves a day and find it hard to touch things with my bare hand without disinfecting them straight after with Dettol. It has to be Dettol as the other brands I cannot get my head around that they will do the same job even though they claim they do, maybe it is my OCD that makes me think this way.

I have a quarantined area where no one can step foot apart from me, not even my daughter can touch anything that I deemed to be sanitized. I am really sad that I cannot give my daughter a hug, I really wish I could but something stops me. I know it is not her it is me and one day I will be in a better place because in the 30 years I have suffered with OCD I have managed to control it to the point it was not so prominent until I had an onset of traumatic events that caused it to come back again with a vengeance.

I am 100% convinced if I did not have stress, did not endure traumatic events, and if I did not have depression because of the stress and I was in a HAPPY PLACE my OCD would be under control. I would not say it would be 100 % cured because depending on my stress levels it would never be totally eradicated. Some people can deal with stress better than others. Some people, smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol and take recreational or prescribed drugs. I only take prescribed drugs for my OCD and they do not work other than sending me to sleep.

I am always on the lookout for different ways I can control my OCD but I have only found hypnosis and meditation to help with the healing process. I am studying neuroplasticity and how to rewire our brains.

In order for hypnosis to work, it has to be done consistently, you will not be cured in a day, week, or month. This has to be a daily occurrence until you start noticing a change. I have completed my diploma for hypnosis and yes I did hypnotize myself successfully but I need to do it every day and with work commitments and everything else that is going on in my life I am too tired and end up falling asleep. You should do hypnosis just before you do to sleep or when you wake up. Other times you can do it during the day without distractions and religiously around the same time of the day.

Although I can do hypnotherapy I do not practice it and have never tried to do it on anyone else.

Renata Hypnotherapy Diploma
Certificate of Completion.

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/

Intrusive Thoughts

I live in rented accommodation and have lived in the same property for 24 years. Although I have had money in the past to buy a property I was never focused and did not understand the consequences of my actions in planning for the future. I lived in the moment and never planned my life ahead.

My intrusive thoughts are:

  1. Will my abuser return to the UK to pay me a visit? (That is part of the reason why I have not left my home because I am scared he may be lurking around.
  2. Will I crash and burn and lose everything? ( I got robbed a few years ago and all my valuables were stolen. I have replaced the majority of things and do not want to lose them again.
  3. Will my daughter’s health deteriorate (she suffers from multiple sclerosis)?
  4. Will my health ever improve?
  5. Will I ever be happy and in a happy place?
  6. Thoughts that cause triggers like the death of Queen II, and although the news is sad and I know a family is grieving, it has however revived memories of my parents and my brother passing which has made me have thoughts such as if our loved ones are watching over us are they disappointed in me or are they happy that I am doing everything I can to turn my life around?

Depression

Symptoms of Depression are:

  • Continuous feelings of low mood and/or sadness (I try to keep myself busy so that I do not have time to dwell too much on all the things that have gone wrong in my life).
  • Feeling hopeless and helpless (Yes I do feel hopeless at times but I always try to find the energy to fight until I reach my goals -yes I have set goals, you have to, you need to have a plan).
  • Having low self-esteem (When I wake it is like one of those movies where the person dies and comes back again and nothing has changed, well it is like that for me, I eat, sleep and repeat and nothing changes).
  • Feeling tearful constantly (I cannot say I am tearful it takes a lot to push my buttons although British Gas (Energy Supplier) did drive me to tears, so I reported them).
  • Feelings of guilt (I feel guilty for squandering my money. Had I been focused and taught how to manage my money I would be in a different place now, but you learn the hard way I have many regrets and if I could turn back time with what I know I would have done things differently knowing what I know now. I feel guilty for being stupid with my finances and the people that I trusted). I also feel guilty for distancing myself and perhaps not contacting people sooner that have now passed away (old people).
  • Feeling irritable (I only get irritable if things do not go my way or if I have to deal with stupid people)
  • Having no motivation or interest in hobbies and interests (I have plenty of things to keep me occupied, the websites that I own and manage for my clients keep me busy, never mind my content writing. I am motivated because I have gotten this far so I am not going to give up even though when I wake it takes me a minute or two to tell myself that today may be the day that things change for the better, so I carry on).
  • Being indecisive (I sometimes procrastinate over things such as whether should I start a certain project or not, or if can it wait and I end up putting it off again and again).
  • No real enjoyment in life (I live on the internet my physical self is just a vessel that keeps me going. I do not think of my life in the physical sense I have socially disconnected from the outside world other than for the couriers and workmen that come to the property and I am happy this way. Would I do things differently if I did not have OCD or feared ever crossing paths with the people that caused me harm, I don’t think so. I am happy in my own company)
  • Feeling anxious and/or worried (My mother was a worrier and I must take after her, she also had undiagnosed OCD. Yes my intrusive thoughts do sometimes get in the way, hence I keep myself busy so that I do not have time to think).
  • Thoughts of harming yourself or suicidal feelings (This is furthest from my mind. I was at my lowest and for a millisecond it did cross my mind when I endured all the physical and mental abuse from my abuser but I told myself if I quit he would win so I turned my thoughts around to show him that everything he said was wrong and that I would be successful and he would live to regret treating me the way he did).
  • Loss of appetite – although sometimes can see an increase in appetite (I see food as energy when I am hungry I will eat, I do not watch my calories and try to eat healthy most of the time, I have no problem with my appetite, in fact, I should really lose a bit of weight considering I do not exercise because (a) I do not venture out (b) My knee pain would be too excruciating to walk very far).
  • A general lack of energy (Because of my medication, I feel so tired when I wake so I counteract that by drinking energy drinks that are high in caffeine which causes a domino effect and causes me to have an overactive bladder)
  • Low sex drive.
  • Trouble sleeping (I do have trouble sleeping but that is alleviated with the prescribed medication, however with the interruptions to my sleep because of my overactive bladder I find when I wake I am very tired so have to drink energy drinks to keep me awake).
  • Avoiding social interaction (I have social disconnection issues and I prefer my own company)
  • Difficulty maintaining family relationships (I do not have any close relatives living in the UK other than my daughter and we have a close bond, my brother and all his children live in the USA, I guess it must be very hard for their mother who lives in the UK).

What Can Trigger a Depressive Episode? | White Light Behavioral Health (whitelightbh.com)

Further Reading:

My Dreams, Aspirations & Goals

My dreams, aspirations, and goals are one day to be in a happy place living a happy life, be financially free and most of all not suffering from OCD, Stress, Anxiety, or Depression. I want to one day when I retire travel the world and photograph everything I see. I want to one day be able to document my journey and leave a legacy.

I want to motivate and inspire people so that they can be led on the right path.

I will continue to do what I am doing because I sense where I am supposed to be, is the right place to be. By continuing writing and researching I not only help myself I also help others. This online journal is my therapy because it gives me a platform to voice my knowledge, thought and opinions.

My dreams are to reach my goals.

#stress #anxiety #intrusivethoughts #ocd #obsessivecompulsivedisorder #depression

Launching Your Business Career as a Young Adult with Disabilities

Image via Unsplash

Author: Mega Cooper.

Launching Your Business Career as a Young Adult with Disabilities

Starting your career in business can seem like a challenge, especially if you’re a young adult with disabilities. Luckily, by using the right approach, it’s simpler. Here’s a look at how you can launch your business career as a young adult with disabilities, presented by Megan Cooper.

Pick the Right Degree Program

In most cases, a business career starts with a college degree. However, you want to choose the right program from the beginning.

While a slew of degrees could work for a business career, some options are more lucrative than others. If enhancing your earnings potential is a priority, you may want to choose:

  • Accounting
  • Business
  • Economics

Any of those degrees can be the foundation for a business career. However, if you want to take your career to the next level, getting an online MBA can be an excellent way to sharpen your skills in corporate finance, human capital management, marketing, and strategic planning. Plus, your MBA could help you land career-boosting roles, including positions as a facilities manager, operations director, business administrator, and more.

Plan for College Success

Once you pick your degree program, you want to set yourself up for success. Many students with disabilities have access to a wide range of support services available to them. After being accepted to a college, connect with the disability services office. They’ll be able to help you identify resources and make critical arrangements to increase your odds of college success.

Land an Internship

An internship is an excellent way to gain relevant experience while you’re still studying. Focus on opportunities from highly reputable companies near your school, favoring those that let you build skills pertinent to your future business career. That way, you’ll get on-the-job experience that serves as a head start while also expanding your network and gathering references you can use after graduating.

If you’re wondering where you can find internships, there are three main approaches. First, if you have a particular company in mind, check its careers page. Many businesses list their internships there, allowing you to apply directly.

Second, many job boards do include internships. Just make sure to add the word “internship” when you search or find that option in the available filtering criteria.

Third, some colleges do maintain internship databases. Speak to your career center, advisor, or the disability services office to see if one is available at your school.

Find Your First Job

Once you graduate, it’s time to go for your first job. Use your college’s career services office to learn about positions, as well as get help with job search activities like resume creation and interview prep. Additionally, check out online job boards to find out about opportunities, and if you have specific companies in mind, check their careers pages to see if there are suitable openings.

It’s also wise to tap your network, as they may know about unadvertised positions. Finally, if you aren’t having much luck, try a recruitment agency. Often, they can help you find experience-boosting roles fast, giving you a want to get your career off the ground as you build valuable skills.

Set Up a Comfortable, Stress-Free Place to Work at Home

Finally, make sure you have a space at home to dedicate to your new job, especially if you’re working remotely. Your space should include comfortable, accessible furniture, great lighting, and plenty of storage. Also, make room for a few houseplants, as these can go a long way toward reducing stress, improving your mood, and creating a relaxing atmosphere. When you’re working from home, having a productive workspace is almost essential for success.

When you have a disability, starting a business may seem overwhelming, even impossible. But with the help of a solid strategy, a thorough understanding of business, a positive workspace, and people who want to see you succeed, you’ll be able to lay a foundation for a fruitful venture.

#launchingcareer #careers #internship #college #degrees #highereducation #jobseekers #onlinejobboards #improvingmentalhealth #mentalhealth #improvingyourmood #onlineMBA #streefreejob #stressfreework #workforthedisabled

Change Your Attitude With Gratitude 2022

Change Your Attitude with Gratitude New Years Resolution 2022.

Whenever we celebrate a New Year we mark it with New Years Resolutions. We celebrate out with the old in and with the new, we say to ourselves we will go on a diet, lose weight, eat healthier, hit the gym, or quit smoking. We aim to do all the wonderful things we dream of, but it is so often the case our resolutions fall through after a month or two because half the time we lack willpower and motivation, we do not have it embedded in our subconscious minds that what we want we can manifest. Essentially we need to brainwash ourselves to believe we can do anything and have anything we desire.

Practicing Daily Gratitude

10 Ways to Practice Daily Gratitude 

One of the most powerful ways to rewire your brain is to re-wire your thoughts. Having a positive attitude will bring more positivity and abundance into your life. Being constantly worried and having negative thoughts will only bring on more stress and worry. Therefore in order to change your attitude to life be grateful for what you already have and be positive that more great things will come to you providing you change your way of thinking.

  1. One of the things I love doing is writing and although I have a physical journal I also write my thoughts on my online journal. By keeping a Gratitude Journal one can write our thoughts, dreams and desires with a daily routine in which we can remind ourselves of the gifts, grace, benefits, and good things we enjoy. Remembering moments of gratitude associated with events past and present, your personal attributes, or people you admire gives you the potential to interweave a sustainable life of gratefulness.
  2. Write down at least 10 things you are truly grateful for and on the next page write down in the present tense as if you have already manifested it what you are grateful what has come into your life, rather than what is coming.
  3. Spending 5 minutes in the morning and 5 minutes before you fall asleep to visualise your aspirations will help to hypnotise yourself and change your subconcious mind. Brainwash yourself before the world brainwashes you. Find a quite relaxing place where you can meditate and relax and focus on what you truly desire.
  4. Research and learn from motivation speakers who mention about the law of Attraction and The Secret. (Bob Proctor, Jake Ducey etc). Watch the film “The Secret”.
  5. When ever you hear someone talk praise them for their achievements. Share Your Gratitude with Others. Research has found that expressing gratitude can help strengthen relationships and bring us closer together. People are more inclined to warm to you if you express gratitude and pat them on their back. The next time you see a female compliment them. The next time your partner, friend or family member does something you appreciate, be sure to let tell them how proud you are of them.
  6. Remove all negitivity in your life, this means anything that reminds you of something bad that has happened in your life to halting all contact with any negative person that does not praise you, does not encourage you or only has snide remarks to say about you. If they are judgemental as in my case someone in my inner circle that thinks she is better than me because she lives in a new build mortgaged house whislt I live in Grade A Listed rented appartment that is falling apart. What she does not realise my digital assets are worth more than her house will ever be. But I have shown gratitude to her children.
  7. Always have either flash cards that you carry in your pocket, purse or handbag. Have your reminders on the homescreen of your phone and also on your desktop. Have a vision board of what you want to achieve, so it is staring you in the face. Stick your reminders on refridgerators. . Use visual reminders because the two primary obstacles to gratefulness are forgetfulness and a lack of mindful awareness, visual reminders serve as cues to trigger thoughts of gratitude.
  8. Be consistant and do it daily. I usually stick a video on youtube or listen to some hypnotherapy audios. Research shows that changing our thought patterns to perform a behavior increases the likelihood that the action will be executed. Set an alarm everyday to promt you to execute your meditation.
  9. Be kind and mindful of others. If you disagree with someone do not fuel the fire with your negativity. The best practice is to be kind, patient and understanding. Be grateful for what others have done for you.
  10. Gratefulness includes smiling, using etiquette, saying thank you, when someone does or says something that is kind and thoughtful, writing letters of gratitude, including emails. By being consistently grateful, you will trigger the emotion of gratitude instantaneously and have it embedded in your subconsious mind.

What I am grateful for.

I have listed below the things I am most grateful for, you could personalize it to suit your own circumstances.

  1. I am grafeful I have roof over my head.
  2. I am grateful I have food to eat.
  3. I am a grateful I have drinking flowing water.
  4. I am grateful I have hot running water.
  5. I am grateful my home is warm.
  6. I am grateful I can pay my bills.
  7. I am grateful I have internet and a good connection.
  8. I am grateful money comes in on a regular basis.
  9. I am grateful I own digital assets (digital real estate).
  10. I am grateful I am creative.
  11. I am grateful I have a good imagination.
  12. I am grateful I am an entrepreneur.
  13. I am grateful I can write and have a platform to write on.
  14. I am grateful people find my writing inspiring and motivational.
  15. I am grateful people find that I have a wealth of knowledge and can help them.
  16. I am grateful I am a publish author.
  17. I am grateful my books are selling.
  18. I am grateful I have wisdom.
  19. I am grateful I have clients.
  20. I am grateful I have a beautiful, intelligent daughter.
  21. I am grateful I have my own websites.
  22. I am grateful I am driving traffic to my websites.
  23. I am grateful I can offer many services.
  24. I am grateful people are buying my services.
  25. I am grateful my domain names are being sold.
  26. I am grateful I can help generate traffic and leads.
  27. I am grateful that I can keep my prices low and be competitive in the industry I am in.
  28. I am grateful I have the ability to teach people and mentor them.
  29. I am grateful I am getting regular subscribers and am expanding my network of connections and followers.
  30. I am grateful most of my websites are on the first page of Google.
  31. I am grateful that the websites which are not on the first page of Google will be soon.
  32. I am grateful I am multi-talented and can re-invent myself.
  33. I am grateful I have learned about hypnotherapy.
  34. I am grateful that I have enough knowledge and content to write a book about neuroplasticity and empowering the disabled entrepreneurial mind.
  35. I am grateful I am self-healing and starting to heal my emotional wounds.
  36. I am grateful people trust and believe in me.
  37. I am grateful 2022 will be a prosperous year for me.
  38. I am happy and grateful I am a spiritual multi-millionaire.

Further Reading.

Jake Ducey Hypnotherapy Audio and Videos can you accessed here.

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/self-hypnosis/

https://www.mindful.org/an-introduction-to-mindful-gratitude/

If you found this article helpful, please take a moment to comment, share and subscribe.

Wishing all my readers a Happy New Year 2022.

#gratitude #selfhypnosis #hypnosis #bobprocter #lawofattraction #thesecret #jakeducey #napoleanhill #thinkandgrowrich

Self Help & Self Hypnosis

Neuroplasticity

SELF HELP & SELF HYPNOSIS

I am a strong believer in never knock it until you have tried it, meaning see if it works before making assumptions or criticizing, and if the CIA (Gateway Process or Project Stargate) has been doing it for over 20 years there has to be something in it. Accessing your subconscious mind and re-wiring your thoughts can benefit our lives, especially if we get stuck with repetitive thoughts that we cannot shift.

I wish in the 30 years I have suffered from OCD, depression, anxiety, stress, and PTSD that my GPs which I have had a few, could have suggested hypnosis.

It is not for me to tell them to do their jobs but no one ever suggested it and like a good little soldier I went on my merry way without questioning it or bringing it up in conversation. It was only by chance I came across some videos through social media did I really start thinking about a way to help myself. If I can find a way of not being dependant on prescribed drugs for the rest of my life, then I obviously have to give it a go.

I think as I am getting older I am getting a little wiser and have decided to explore neuroplasticity and brain training.

I have just started the art of self-hypnosis and have found a braining training motivational speaker ‘Jake Ducey’ as well as the Monroe Institute. I have subscribed to Jakes’s Facebook videos and am on his mailing list. I have found the information he gives is valuable, which I am now implementing into my own life.

For years I have been programmed to think that I was not good enough, that I was a failure, I would not amount to much or have nice things. I was criticized, judged, humiliated, and belittled. I started believing everything anyone said to me.

The emphasis of this multiplied when I got involved with a narcissist that created negative energy and made my life toxic. I knew things had to change and I feel like the world has lifted off my shoulders since he has been gone.

The day I flipped the switch and said enough is enough was the day I started to think differently. Every time anyone would say something derogatory I would have an out-of-body experience. If they were directing their opinions and their judgments at my body, I immediately became numb with a hardened exterior and my body has always felt as it is a vessel and it is protecting what is my inner soul. I felt like they could do what they wanted to my body but they would never get to my soul (sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me).

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but their opinion is not my belief. They could think what they wanted about me, it was now water off a duck’s back and not significant to me. I have always thought treat people like you would wish to be treated.

I started standing up to my fears and thought “what was the best that can happen to me”, rather than my worst? I turned my negative thoughts into good thoughts and started thinking differently. I started making goals.

Where just over a decade ago I had no direction in the last few years I have started to focus. I have set goals and I know what I want but never found a way to manifest what I wanted until now.

I am paving a path. People’s perceptions and opinions of me no longer matter, I am now in control.

In my lifetime I have come across, some very cruel, rude monstrous people that have had this self-opinionated, self-entitled persona about them that they think they are better than you. I have had people with sarcastic, patronizing, opinionated attitudes try and tell me what to do or who have looked down at me and I now rise above it all, as it is only their opinion and who are they at the end of the day?

I have learned if someone is trying to hurt you, end the conversation and block them. I do not play fire with fire, if someone has an evil tongue, I bite mine. Remember silence speaks a thousand words and the universe will pay them back.

Obviously, I have a long way to go to heal as this is only the start of my journey.

Self-help therapy.

I have now started to delve into brain training and mind control (Neuroplasticity) and will publish my progress over the next few months. I will start a 30-day social experiment on myself starting today 30/05/21 where I will use self-hypnosis and the eye roll technique as well as listening to “Jakes audio” and will document my findings on a daily basis which I will publish at the end of next month.

My goal is to try and stabilize my OCD, my depression, my stress, my anxiety, and my PTSD. Because of all the grief, I have endured over the years, I need to brainwash the mind of my memories. I also want to change my ultimate thinking process to manifest what I want.

Apparantly you need to practice the eye roll technique as in the pdf below:

self-hypnosis-instruction-sheet-eye-roll

Once you have mastered the eye roll technique you should find a quiet space to meditate and play the following audio:

You should also watch some of “Jake Ducey’s” motivational videos, which I have added open below , especially if you are going through a difficult period in your life and you are surrounded by negative or toxic people. You too also need to retrain your brain and your thought process and try these relaxation and thought-provoking techniques.

Do check out “Jake Ducey’s” website and start re-training your brain. Jake has been featured on FOX, TEDx, Entrepreneur, HuffPost, and INC, and Penguin Random House. He is a force to be reckoned with: https://jakeducey.com/

” IAM A POWERFUL CREATOR, I AM POWERFUL BEING MY THOUGHTS CREATE REALITY”
How To NEVER Get Angry or Upset AGAIN
3 Ways to MANIFEST WHILE SLEEPING & Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind
Shocking Law of Attraction SLEEP TECHNIQUE For Attracting What You Want
SAY THIS TO MANIFEST ANYTHING YOU WANT FAST
SAY THIS BLESSING TO MANIFEST ANYTHING
MONEY SPELL CHANT TO MANIFEST MORE MONEY NOW
The LAW of ATTRACTION and What NOBODY Tells You. VERY POWERFUL!!!
Bob Proctor: The Law of Attraction And What Nobody Tells You!! (Must Watch!)

Believe it or not, The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and the United States Government have been using mind control and the laws of attraction for years.

The CIA technique dubbed the Gateway Experience was essentially described as a training system to bring enhanced strength, focus, and coherence to the amplitude and frequency of brainwave outputs patterns, according to the CIA report, ranged from converting energy to heal one’s body to traveling across space and time to learn and access new information. The CIA approved testing for this under the eyes of US Army Lieutenant Colonel Wayne M McDonnell. The project was classified by the CIA until 2003. McDonnell was commissioned to work on the Gateway Experience in the 1980s at a time in US history when the nation was taking a deep interest in different varieties of psychic research.

Project MKUltra (or MK-Ultra) is the code name given to a program of experiments on human subjects that were designed and undertaken by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), some of which were illegal. Experiments on humans were intended to develop procedures and identify drugs such as LSD to be used in interrogations in order to weaken the individual and force confessions through brainwashing and psychological torture. The project was organized through the Office of Scientific Intelligence of the CIA and coordinated with the United States Army Biological Warfare Laboratories. Other code names for drug-related experiments were Project Bluebird and Project Artichoke.

Investigative efforts were halted by CIA Director Richard Helms’s who ordered that all MKUltra files be destroyed in 1973; the Church Committee and Rockefeller Commission investigations relied on the sworn testimony of direct participants and on the relatively small number of documents that survived Helms’s destruction order. In 1977, a Freedom of Information Act requests uncovered a cache of 20,000 documents relating to project MKUltra which led to Senate hearings later that year.

Some surviving information regarding MKUltra was declassified in July 2001. In December 2018, declassified documents included a letter to an unidentified doctor discussing work on six dogs made to run, turn and stop via remote control and brain implants.

The above document “Analysis and Assessment of Gateway Process”, that also Jake refers to is downloadable, it is available through the following link below: https://jakeducey.com/CIA/

This makes me believe there is a way to manipulate one’s mind using hypnosis and Neuroplasticity tDCs.

Alternatively, if you cannot download the document for some reason, then drop us a line.

Further Reading:

According to the Hebbian theory (Hebbs Law) is a neuroscientific theory claiming that an increase in synaptic efficacy arises from a presynaptic cell’s repeated and persistent stimulation of a postsynaptic cell. It is an attempt to explain synaptic plasticity, the adaptation of brain neurons during the learning process. It was introduced by Donald Hebb in his 1949 book The Organization of Behavior. The theory is also called Hebb’s rule, Hebb’s postulate, and cell assembly theory. Hebb states it as follows:

Let us just think that the persistence or repetition of a reverberatory activity (or “trace”) tends to induce lasting cellular changes that add to its stability. … When an axon of cell A is near enough to excite a cell B and repea cells firing B, is increased.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebbian_theory

Citations:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_MKUltra

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebbian_theory

https://www.indiatimes.com/technology/science-and-future/cia-secret-program-gateway-experience-534724.html

#neuroplasticity #hypnosis #selfhypnosis #gatewayprogram #tdcs #braintraining #brainrewiring #subconscious #subconsciousmind

Coping With Life When You Are Disabled.

Copying With life When You Are Disabled.

I have this methology “if life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. I am not the type of person to whinge and moan, I just make the most of what I have and try to get on with it.

I always keep myself busy and set goals. However my physical and mental disabilities are obstacles that daily I have to get round.

My OCD is by far one of my prominent disabilities and have designed a quarantined cocoon area where only I have access to. This area allows me to be free of any anxieties that I would have in the normal environment. I have adopted this practice to save cleaning my whole home from top to bottom day in and day out. Believe me I used to clean from top to bottom every single day until I realised I was wasting valuable time doing something else.

Keeping myself busy does help to block out intrusive thoughts to a certain degree. I am the worlds worse for critising myself. I try to brain train to reason with myself that what I do is ridiculous and out of character to normal people, but it all is related to stress, anxiety and depression. Depending how stress I am under will depend how well my day will be. If I am super stressed, I find that I cannot concentrate and even do minuscule tasks.

My OCD is germ contamination related and I am even more conscious of my surrounding and the things that I touch. I dislike people visting me and visa versa. I prefer not to go out, hence I am not going out any time soon pandemic regulations or not.

I actually wrote an article on my other blog about germ awareness and cross contamination: https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2021/02/16/saliva-and-mail-cross-contamination-of-germs/

As for my other disabilities:

  • Cerebellar Atrophy (I lose my balance or grip and muddle my words up especially when I write, I also have mental blocks).
  • OCD (I am aware of germ cross contimination and and am careful what I touch).
  • Social Disconnection (I prefer my own company and not go out and socialise, although we can’t anyway but you get my drift).
  • PTSD (I have flashbacks of the physical and mental trauma I endured in the past and certain things trigger my depression).
  • Clinical Depression (This is related to past physical and mental trauma I endured, in which there are days where I go to a dark place).
  • Rheumatoid Arthritis (I cannot bend my knee, again from past physical trauma/abuse).
  • Dysphagia (I sometimes choke of food, I get a painful feeling followed by trouble swallowing and breathing and only when the food is dislodged does the feeling subside, gross I know but what can I do? I have been told I could have surgery but there is no gauarantee that it would work. I am not going to go under the knife for anything, I can tell you that for sure).
  • Epidural Analgesia (Chronic Back Pain, even bending down to feed the cat makes my back spasm, the same goes if I am standing for excessive length of time I have shooting pains from the small of my back to the nape of my neck. Simple taskes like taking out the rubbish or bringing in the grocery shopping has brought tears to my eyes in the past).

So yes I have good days and bad days but I do not dwell on my ailments and try to live the best way I can. I adapt to around my disabilities. Fortuantely for me I offer digital services so I can do 100% of my work online and do not have to venture out.

Stress and worry are contributing factors to my OCD, PTSD, Depression and Social Disconnection.

  • Getting headaches (I have regular headaches)
  • Having stomach cramps (I have a bad stomach most days, but that can be from drinking energy drinks to keep me awake).
  • Not being able to sleep (I find my medication helps me sleep but it takes a few hours for me to wind down, hence I watch a film or play a game, I also read books from time to time).
  • Feeling pains in your chest (I do not get them often but when I do it is scary as I have also experienced jaw ache and shooting pain down my left arm in the past). I have had an ecg scan done and the doctor said there was nothing wrong, yet the same doctor also prescribed antacid ‘Gaviscon’ to my daughter even though she was later diagnosed with MS after I admitted her into A&E.
  • Having constant worring (If I do not keep myself busy I do worry hence I try to keep my mind occupied all the time). Worrying only makes your health deteriorate and although life struggles can get in the way of your happiness, one needs to find a way to tackle the problem we are faced with, rather than sweep them under the carpet. Confronting your inner demons makes you stronger. Sometimes simply writing down your problems is the first step to dealing with whatever is on your mind. Talking to a friend or family member also helps but for me expessing my emotions in the form of a blog is theraputic in itself.
  • Having panic attacks (I only get these if I have to meet negative people). People that judge or critise, you know the people I am talking about or if I have a deadline in work or something that I have seen or heard that has triggered the onset of sheer panic. However for most part I am organised and know to how to avoid trigger warnings, so panic attacks are subdued.
  • Feeling shortness of breath, (I only get this if I cannot swallow due to my Dysphagia or at times when I have in the past been in distress, due to the trauma and abuse I endured).
  • Having mood swings with friends or family (I avoid socialising so no one knows my moods and no one can be on the tail end if I do have a bad day).
  • Finding it hard to feel happy (Continuously reassuring myself and staying positive that what I am doing will eventually change my life for the better, is enough to motivate me to get up and tackle every day tasks).

Although I was going to do a daily/weekly journal of my health, I am not able to do so at present as I have many projects I am working on and simply do not have the time, but I always try to strive to stay focused and optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day.

Obviously adopting a healthy lifestyle can help with coping with life struggles, such as:

  • Regular Exercise
  • Breathing Exercise
  • Meditation
  • Eating Healthily
  • Brain Training
  • Learning New Things
  • Staying Focused
  • Being Organised
  • Setting Goals
  • Time Management
  • Avoiding Negative People
  • Learning to Trust People
  • Motivation
  • Talking to Family and Friends About Your Troubles
  • Discussing your Problems with Professionals, Health, Finance, Relationships etc

Final Thoughts!

I am a disabled entrepreneur and I have created a business round my disabilities. The way I saw it when I first started out, I would not fit in or be accepted in a normal working enviroment and I am the most happiest I have ever been for a long time doing what I do and it works for me. So the way I see it is my disabilities are a blessing in disguise, as I would not be where I am today without them.

I avoid negative judgemental people especially if they have power trips (Trolls especially that have nothing better to do than try an bring a person down, these get immediately blocked).

As for me I will help anyone that genuinely needs my help. I am very good at analysing people and situations and I am very astute.

Stay safe, stay focused and stay motivated, nothing stays the same forever unless you let it…

Lack of Motivation.

Lack of Motivation.

Lack of Motivation.

I do not know about you but I have days sometimes where I feel so deflated. I was talking about this with my daughter who said some days she feels she does not want to get out of bed. Or she wants to go to the Bahamas on her own. Not all of us can go to the Bahamas at a drop of a hat and some of us have obligations and commitments, so although the idea sounds appealing I am staying put for the time being.

Today is one of those days, I feel I just want to waste my time watching Amazon Prime Videos all day.

I do not drink alcohol, only on social occasions, and this year there is nothing social about it. My OCD will not permit me to go to Pubs which are open in Wales. It’s unfortunate that our neighbor England is on lockdown again, but it is what it is and has to be done.

This got me thinking as I am very active on LinkedIn and a top recruiting firm in the UK, the CEO announced he was feeling not so motivated. He also said he was living alone which got me thinking how many other people are in the same boat and are contemplating their navels.

Life is full of obstacles and we need to find ways to train our brains that whatever is happening to us is just temporary and we have the power to change the situation.

If you have recently lost your job and are struggling to find work, what you do is create a job and be your own boss.

You must promote yourself and your brand, no one will know you exist unless you tell them.

If you have a craft and are creative put your creativity online.

How about setting up your own eCommerce store and start dropshipping. With the current situation, we are in, most people shop online.

Start a blog and do affiliate marketing. You need to create your blog first though before being approved for these programs.

Whatever is going on with your life start being creative and start writing things down including all the pros and cons.

Start a dream board and focus on your goals.

Meditate and manifest your dream into reality.

My lack of motivation would disappoint my readers because if I did not write a post or two I would be letting people down.

I have gone too far now to give up.

I manage my client’s blogs as well as my own so I have plenty of work to keep me busy.

But some days I feel sad because everything I do is not happening fast enough my goals seem so distant, but I know if I persevere I will get there in the end.

Motivation is the process that makes us initiates an action, whether it is getting up to go to the kitchen to researching and gaining knowledge online.

Our time is precious and should not be wasted. By learning something new, we are gaining knowledge that is more valuable than money or gold.

Motivation is defined by biological, emotional, social, and cognitive factors that activate our behavior.

Types of Motivation

There are two different types of motivation that are frequently described as being either extrinsic or intrinsic:

Extrinsic motivations are those that arise from outside our control and may involve rewards such as trophies, money, social recognition, or praise.

Intrinsic motivations are motivations that are from someone doing something off their own back like playing a game or completing a crossword puzzle purely for the personal gratification of problem-solving.

Persistance.

When you set goals unless you follow them through you will not succeed. You need to stay focused and need to be persistent.

Impact

Simply having the desire to accomplish something is not always enough. In order to achieve such a goal requires you to follow it through and not give up, the ability to persist through obstacles, and endurance to keep going in spite of difficulties.

There are three major factors to motivation: activation, persistence, and intensity.

Activation involves the decision to start a specific task.

Persistence is the persisting effort towards a goal even though there may be obstacles.

Intensity is the ability to stay focused and concentrate into pursuing a goal.

You need to remember when you set your goals daily that you reward yourself for completing the task. You could do this at the end of the day, week or month. If you do not know how to reward yourself pay yourself some money or treat yourself to something. By paying yourself and putting it into a separate bank account you will be surprised how much money you make if you are persistent.

My downfall ten years ago as I did not know how to train my brain and was reckless with money. I was spiraling out of control was not focused on my life and was living in cloud cuckoo land. I had no goals and felt my life had ended. It is only in the last five years I have done a lot of souls searching and gained a lot of knowledge online and it’s as if the starter gun had been triggered because there is no stopping me now other than my mental health issues. But if I keep myself busy I have less time to think and less time to feel sorry for myself.

As for my financial habits, I have now found a way to budget my money for everything and do not spend more than I need to. There are plenty of money budget tools online but I use a simple word table and make it colorful. You could also do an excel spreadsheet.

So by doing this blog I am not just helping my readers I am also helping myself.

Tips

Everyone experience fluctuations in their motivation and willpower.

Sometimes we may feel highly driven and other times we may feel listless or unsure of what we want or how to achieve it.

If you feel low and simply have no energy, there are steps you can take that will keep you moving forward.

Some things you can do include:

  1. Take baby steps, just so one thing as I have done today with this post.
  2. If you have a big project that is too overwhelming, break it up into smaller projects.
  3. Have plenty of exercise and sleep.
  4. Change your diet and eat healthily
  5. Find Mentors.
  6. Do some networking.
  7. Remind yourself about your achievements in the past and where your strengths lie.
  8. If there is something worrying you write it down do some research on how to combat it.
  9. Talk to a friend or family member or on a group or forum, anywhere where someone is willing to listen and give advice.
  10. Take a bit of time out to do something else, knowing you always have your goal to come back to.
  11. Do not procrastinate, you have to believe in yourself even sometimes when no one else does.
  12. Create a Dream Board of all the goals you want to achieve in the next 5 years to 10 years.
  13. Meditate and envisage your goals manifesting.
  14. Reward yourself.
  15. Pamper yourself or if your a guy groom yourself.

Final Thoughts.

Do little things to make your life better and eventually you will make your confidence grow. Sometimes we have to start with ourselves and do a bit of soul searching and learn to love ourselves before we can find the power to prosper.

A seedling needs to be cared for on a daily basis before it gows into an oak tree!

Imposter Syndrome

Have you ever doubted yourself and felt you are not good enough?

Have you ever had some one call you a fake or looked at you like your unreal?

Sometimes we have an element of self-doubt and may actually believe we are not good enough because of other people’s perceptions of us.

Have you ever felt like you don’t belong or had someone point the finger?

Our world is surrounded by people-pleasing. If people believe in you it gives you a feeling of euphoria and gives you encouragement.

However, there will always be people for whatever their reasons may troll you, say negative things about you, or simply make you feel less confident about yourself.

https://www.linkedin.com/posts/robmoore1979_instead-of-hating-the-critics-the-trolls-activity-6726845120483729409-zb5B

It could be you are a student and the popular kids gang up on you as you feel you cannot fit in, it’s their perception, not yours or it could be people at work who may say sarcastic comments or derogatory remarks in which you then start to doubt yourself.

We all try to do our best but if our best is not always good enough we may get judged.

People are very competitive and want to be like the Jones’s. So if you look like you do not fit in people tend to judge. It s the judging that can make you question your abilities. Just because your neighbor has a nice house lovely garden and top of the range car, they could be indeed very deep in debt and faking it and have no money in the bank, yet you who on the other hand may have less materialistic things to show but may have gold bullion or hundreds of thousands stock market shares.

People’s ability to analyze a person on their looks or what they own could be so further from the truth and people should not judge a book by its cover. Just because your neighbor goes to work all dressed up in their flashy suit whilst you go to work in a jeans and t-shirt does not make you a lesser of a person. It’s the achievements you have succeeded in that will tell you apart.

Do not listen to what other people say. If you are a success no one can take that away from you.

Imposter syndrome depends on the strength of your mind, if enough people call you a fake or a fraud you start believing it, yet you have the ability to overturn those intrusive thoughts.

The same goes in abusive relationships when the narcissist tries to brainwash you into thinking you are not good enough and that you will not amount to much. The feeling you are losing control of your own beliefs because of someone else’s opinion can actually make you feel very insecure.

The feeling you experience is known as imposter syndrome. Psychologists often call it the impostor phenomenon. It is estimated that 70% of people experience these feelings of lack of confidence at some point in their lives. According to a review article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, imposter syndrome affects all people from all walks of life.

The thought you are a failure and not good enough manifests in our minds and makes us feel like we are a fraud especially if you hear it from people that try to discredit us.

What is impostor syndrome?

If someone tries to discredit you, you start to have self-doubt and only believe you will succeed because of luck, rather than talent or knowledge, experience, or qualifications, this can be problematic. If you believe that you are unlucky your chances of succeeding are decreased because of your own beliefs.

We need to re-wire our brains that we are good enough and that someone else’s opinion is their opinion and not yours or the rest of the world. People are far too often very judgemental and speak their minds which could cause the victim to feel less confident about themselves.

I was once was called a fraud by someone who tried discrediting me in court because I was called in as an ‘expert witness and he had a lot to lose due to a divorce hearing. I started to feel insecure (not because I did not know what I was talking about or the knowledge I had of my profession) but the fear of what people would think of me, based on the defendant’s outbursts. I remember I had stage fright and my cerebellar atrophy blocked out certain words which on the spot I could not answer (that did not mean that I did not know them). I am an author on the subject and manage several blogs and my report was prepared meticulously yet the defendant tried to discredit me and to make himself look better. If anything he was the fake and fraudster for claiming he was an expert registering crap domain names that had no SEO value, but I digress. He then contradicted himself and asked me to help him sell them, so if I was so useless and unprofessional at my job why would he have even bothered asking me?, as you can imagine I refused his offer, and as soon as I got home blocked him from every social media platform. This was my way of regaining control of the situation. Enough said let sleeping dogs lie.

Impostor syndrome was first identified in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes. In their finding and the paper they wrote, their theory was that only women were uniquely affected by impostor syndrome.

https://paulineroseclance.com/impostor_phenomenon.html

However since then and with more research, studies have found that both men and women experience impostor feelings, and Clance published a later paper acknowledging that impostor syndrome is not limited to women. (She also created an impostor syndrome test.) Today, impostor syndrome can apply to anyone “who isn’t able to internalize and own their successes,” says psychologist Audrey Ervin.

Impostor syndrome expert Valerie Young, who is the author of a book on the subject, The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, has also found patterns in people who experience impostor feelings:

“Perfectionists” set extremely high standards for themselves and others, and even if they meet 99% of their goals, they’re going to feel like failures. Any small mistake will make them question their own competence.


“Experts” feel the need to know to devour every piece of information on a subject before they start a project and constantly look for new certifications or training to improve their skills. They won’t apply for a job if they don’t meet all the criteria in the posting, and they might be hesitant to ask a question in class or speak up in a meeting at work because they’re afraid of looking stupid if they don’t already know the answer.


“Independent people are also known as Soloists” feel they have to accomplish tasks on their own and are reluctant to ask for help. Asking for help gives the perception that you are in some way weak, that you cannot figure it out on your own. This then may make people think they are a fake or fraud which in turn makes them think less of you.

People such as narcissists need to feel the need to succeed in all aspects of life regardless if it is at work, or as parents, or as partners. The feeling they need to be in constant full control can cause them to feel anxiety if their goals are not met which could lead them to be abusive and belittling just to regain some power.

Learning abilities and Auto Immune Disorders.

People who have learning disabilities or autoimmune disorders may have hidden talents and people cannot be characterized as fake or frauds if there are underlining issues. The person in question may actually be capable of completing assignments but in their unique ways. We cannot judge someone by their disabilities. A prime example would be Stephen William Hawking CH CBE FRS FRSA who was an English theoretical physicist, cosmologist, and author who was director of research at the Centre for Theoretical Cosmology at the University of Cambridge at the time of his death, yet he suffered from Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or ALS is one of several types of motor neuron diseases. This did not make him into a lesser person and he persevered against all odds and was a world-renowned genius, who is recognized in his field for his accomplishments all over the world.

People who tend to struggle to recite things or work hard to accomplish things tend to makes themselves feel they aren’t even good enough that they are failures. Their brain tells them that’s proof they’re an impostor. This is psychological and has nothing to do with other people’s perceptions of you.

Have you heard the expression “fake it till you make it”? that is such bad advice as you should never portray to be someone you are not. If for example you are a web designer but cannot code if your life depended on it do not go saying you are one. The same goes for any industry you cannot fake your way to becoming a doctor or dentist you need qualifications for that. Never fake it till you make it, as people will soon see the cracks when you fail to do your job properly. You also stand to give your industry a bad name if you pretend to be a professional but in reality, you are a cowboy. Not only will you be seen in a bad light and bad reviews spread like wildfire you could also potentially cause someone to lose money because of your incompetence. “Never fake it till you make it”.

Why do people experience impostor syndrome?

People experience imposter syndrome because of uncertainties and insecurities in their lives, although there is no single definitive answer. Some experts believe it has to do with personality traits—like anxiety or neuroticism—while others focus on family or behavioral causes. Sometimes childhood memories can cause a person to suffer from imposter syndrome because of experiencing low grades in school and being judged or scolded by parents and peers. Favoritism also can play a crucial role where the parents favor a brighter sibling over them, which could inevitably impact the child’s behavioral patterns later on in life. The thought of being praised and appreciated and the longing for success is a vicious circle because if people are constantly criticized eventually they start doubting themselves and start believing they are not good enough and therefore they believe they are fakes or frauds.

Re-Wiring Our Minds.

We should believe in ourselves and not be bothered by what others think of us. We should stop worrying and procrastinating. Who cares about some other person’s opinion of you. You owe nothing to them. If someone judges you, it is because they want to make them feel better about themselves. We know what we have achieved and what we can accomplish and just because others do not agree with you, that’s their problem, not yours. A person is not defined by someone else’s opinion, a person is defined at what they have achieved.

” A seed grows with no sound but a tree falls with huge noise. destruction has noise, but creation is quiet. The power of silence. Grow Silently. Confucious.

Do not let anyone stand in your way. Embrace constructive criticism and learn from critique. No one can take away your knowledge. Other people’s personal opinions of you do not matter when they try to break you down. Build an invisible wall and let the noise deafen their ears and not yours.