Cost Of Living on a Low Income and Mental Health.
I need to share this to get it off my chest, yet I prefer to stay anonymous.
I am self-employed and disabled. I have lost a couple of good-paying clients in the last couple of months.
I am getting housing benefits, working tax credits, and pip and have only a few clients that pay me but not enough so that I can live on, the money I get from my business just about covers my outgoings for my business. I was showing a loss last year on my tax return.
Updated 24/05/22
My Incoming Per Month:
£590 Housing Benefit
£400 Working Tax Credits
£240 Personal Independence Payment
Total £1230
My Outgoings Per Month:
£655 Rent
£270 Utility Bills
£80 Telephone & Broadband (Without Broadband I cannot work)
£91 Insurance
Sub Total £1096.00
£165 Debt Repayment/Loans
Total Per Month £1261.00
This means if I was to pay the utility companies what they want and pay back the creditors what I own I still would not have enough money and I would not have any food to buy.
So even if I put the creditors on the back burner I would only be left with £134 to buy food divided by 4 weeks is £33.50 what can I buy for £33.50?
How the hell am I supposed to survive?
Ideally, if I could make another £500 per month I would be in the clear.
I am trying every which way I can to get more business in and with only four clients on my books, I am struggling.
I know what I do works but it is convincing the tire kickers that is the problem. Believe me there any many tire kickers and scavengers about, simply trying to get as much information out of you for free and then going cold on you. I once contacted a whole suburb that only had Facebook pages and not one of them came back to me even though my prices are cheap, but not that cheap that people think it is too good to be true. So I know it’s not me but society in general not wanting to spend.
Support.
I need someone to help me. I do not need pep talks I just want to get out of the financial dilemma that I am in. I do not need a friend, I do not need a counselor, I just need more work.
I am fed up with having the same heartache day in and day out.
I am feeling very low right now and fighting my hardest to keep my thoughts at bay.
I have no one that can help me, believe me, I have tried reaching out to my family and they won’t help me. I have asked them to share my business on social media, it is not as if I was asking them for money and it went on deaf ears.
They are just waiting for me to fail, just so that they can say “see I told you so”. Anyone that says they are supporting me or have supported me needs to put their money where their mouth is because otherwise, they are full of 💩. I have not been well for some time now and as the months’ progress so does my depression.
Sympathy – Asking For a Period of Grace.
I emailed the electricity company (EON Next) yesterday 15/04/22 that I would be late paying my £34 (they never had a problem during Covid Lockdown).
It is not that I have defaulted yet at the time this gets published and was told that my account has gone to a debt collection agency. I tried phoning them today but conveniently they only operate Mon-Fri, which is causing me so much anxiety as I now have to wait until Tuesday after the Bank Holiday to contact them.
Even looking at my account I am in debt by – £22.84 so is there any need to be so “God Damn Dramatic” as this person has been to make me feel like 💩?
I hope their fate is worse than mine; so that they can experience depression firsthand like I am feeling.
The person that replied to my email was Anisah Hussain (E.ON Next)
anisah.hussain@eon-next-cabac46b5ea2.intercom-mail.com
I hope this person reaps what they sow and that goes for any corporation or person in charge reading this.
I am feeling extremely anxious right now and I can feel my heart racing really fast. My stomach well let’s just say I am running to the toilet every few mins.
Nobody should be put in the position to make them unwell or even worse than what they were already feeling.
I do not own anything other than my laptop and my phone which I use for work as I was robbed a few years ago and anything of value was stolen, hence there is nothing anyone can take from me.
I feel so low right now and not sure what to do. My GP is totally useless although I am on medication there is little more they can do for me, to top it all I have a very sick child I am caring for and I am worried about her well being, mental and physical state, so pushing my buttons is only making things worse and causing more anxiety and distress.
You cannot get blood out of a stone!
“I am at the lowest I have been for a long time and it only takes one person to push me over the edge”.
I am not crazy and I do not need to be locked up, I am just feeling really low.
I am not feeling suicidal I am just feeling extremely unhappy right now and I do not want to have any worries. I want people to be understanding and not critical of me or superior to me. I want people to support me.
This email I received just shows that people do not care unless it relates directly to them. I just want to be happy for a change and not have to worry about anything. I want to live a happy carefree life.
Update 19/04/22
Considering they, in theory, were closed yesterday I did get an email from the same agent in relation to my reply and I assume the person is a (she) asked when is a convenient time for her to call me. Why does anyone need to speak to me, do they not understand written English…I replied I would be paying on the 9th of May 2022.
However, my gut feeling told me to phone them today and this is how it played out.
Phone Call No 1. I spoke to an agent that put me on hold and we get cut off
Phone Call No 2. I spoke to a different person who spoke to me as if she was talking to a first-grader. She spoke to me as if she owned the company and kept saying I have never paid my payments on time, blatantly scolding me before putting the phone down on me. She said I did not have a payment plan in place. So what are all my £34 per month payments then?
Phone Call No 3. I told the person I would be paying on the 9th of May 2022 and he said he would put it on the system and I would get a confirmation email, which never transpired.
Two things spring to mind:
Harassment:
What’s the effect of or the intention behind the harassment?
The Equality Act says it’s harassment where the behavior is meant to or has the effect of either:
- violating your dignity (I felt like I was a nobody with no self worth)
- creating an intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating or offensive environment (the agent spoke to me in a way like she was disciplining a child or someone of no importance).
This means it’s harassment even if the person harassing you didn’t mean to offend or intimidate you, as long as the harassment has one of the above effects.
If you go to court, the judge may have to decide if it’s harassment or not. They will look at how the behavior made you feel and whether it’s reasonable for you to feel this way.
Emotional Distress:
The fact is all I owe is £22.84 dated 19/04/21 but has since risen to £75 per month and they tried making a big deal about it. I was spoken to as if I was something someone had stepped in, which is downright disgraceful.
The Damage Has Been Done!
The problem is because people are working from home they will not necessarily have the calls recorded and they literally can speak to you like sh#t, hence I will never be able to prove that the woman I spoke to on my second call spoke to me like I was a nobody. I hope karma pays her a visit and her husband/partner cheats on her or she has a similar fate to what I am going through.
Who the hell did the woman I spoke to think she was talking to? I am not a piece of sh#t to be spoken to this way…
And you wonder why I hate life? when I have to contend with people like this woman this afternoon and then the man that blatantly lied to me about sending me a confirmation email.
I have purposely published this as evidence and compensation for emotional distress which far outweighs the cost of my electricity bill should it ever go down that route, do not tempt me.
#feelingsuicidal #suicide #suicidalthoughts #depression
