ATTITUDE!

An attitude is an emotion and belief (good or bad) portrayed by you or someone else.

In psychology, attitude is a psychological construct, a mental and emotional entity that inheres in or characterizes a person. In other words a definitive belief to a response to a situation.

A good attitude is being positive and optimistic, whilst a bad attitude is negative, judgemental, and pessimistic.

An attitude is a complex feeling and is an acquired state through life experiences and set beliefs.

Attitude is an individual’s predisposed state of mind that influences the individual’s thoughts and actions.

Prominent psychologist Gordon Allport described this latent psychological construct as “the most distinctive and indispensable concept in contemporary social psychology.” Simply put attitudes in psychology are the feelings individuals have about themselves and the world.

Attitude can be formed from a person’s past and present. Key topics in the study of attitudes include attitude strength, attitude change, consumer behavior, and attitude-behavior relationships.

For me, I have had to bite my tongue on many occasions of late when someone I have communicated with has a bad attitude and is very defensive.

I have had to tell myself this is not my fault, that this person must be going through some issues in his life that he is not telling the world about and has this attitude or invisible wall that he hides behind whilst hurling out abuse.

People that have a fear of failure will become defensive and have bad attitudes, going on their high horses shouting from the rooftops, and being loud so as not to give the game away.

People may have attitudes for the following reasons:

  1. Afraid of failure. Some people feel emabarrassed, scared and vulnerable when we feel threatened, like a cornered animal. People put up invisible barriers to “protect” themselves by expecting the worst. We figure that if we don’t expect anything good to happen, we won’t experience any letdown when things don’t go well. We haven’t developed sufficient skills to deal with life not going our way, so we shoot down any relationship or project ahead of time.
  2. Our role models (possibly our parents, teachers, partners, spouses or bosses) with negative or narcissistic controlling attitudes. We try to be strong and end up being defensive, so not to get hurt again.
  3. Acceptance and Approval. We worry what other people think of us. We worry that other people might not approve of us or like us, we decide (either consciously or unconsciously) to beat them to the punch and “not like them first”.
  4. Trauma. We have experienced significant trauma, hardship, relationship breakup, seperation or divorce, or failures, loss of a job, a business failure, including loss of a loved one.
  5. Memories. We subconsciously replaying an issue with an authority figure or someone who controlled us a syndrome known as repetition compulsion. We cannot erase our memories and we cannot forget.
  6. Mental Health Issues. We suffer from clinical depression and/or a chemical imbalance. In such cases, consulting a medical professional might be helpful.
  7. Physical Health Problems. We have a medical condition that causes us to get depressed from worry or anxiety of not knowing if our illness is curable or if we are going to die.

A bad Attitude can cause a domino effect. Treat people like you would want to be treated. If you are rude and hurtful think of the consequences of your actions.

Do not pretend to be something you are not. I see enough of this on LinkedIn with people being false and writing false stories.

Never criticize anyone without being prepared to be criticized back. I had such an incident where I innocently complimented someone for their marketing efforts and said they should comment on other people’s posts and add a link. Well, that did not go down well and this said individual went on his high horse criticizing me so when I pointed out he should not be making posts “Buy my stuff, I need to feed the kids” because it does not look professional although I did not quite use those words. I simply thought if he can throw punches and call me “needy” he should take criticism also and I said what I thought to his marketing campaign which in turn caused him to go on the defense stating that “he can write what he wants” and that it was tongue in cheek humor which obviously backfired. Yes, that is true but he can write what he wants, but he should have also accepted criticism seeing he drew the first sword. But to go to the extreme and openly criticize me in front of his audience is very unprofessional, he should have if anything directly messaged me on a private chat. His argument was that I tried to hijack his post by putting my own link in (I was not selling anything to him or his network and possibly could have helped many people including himself). He then went on to block me like I really care. What he did not realize was I was planning to book a VIP Birthday for my 60th. It is not going to happen now because he was rude and obviously thinks so highly of himself to be super special which he is not. I am not upset about losing his acquaintance as he is two a penny in my eyes, but I am upset about my ruined birthday plans.

I won’t mention his name or what industry he is in as the detectives out there can easily track him down.

I will however promote someone else’s business in the same industry for free so that he knows he bit off more than he can chew. I will make sure the company will secure global positioning and be ahead of their competitors including him.

Have I got a bad attitude, no not really, but people who do me wrong should feel my wrath.

Generally speaking, I am a nice and kind person but God helps those that rattle my cage.

Yes, I am upset, I will get over it as I am a strong person and this feeling is only temporary.

Life goes on and this person is not the only person in his industry offering the service I wanted. As my daughter said, “it’s hard luck for him as he has lost a lot of business, through blocking me for no real reason”

Marketing – Adding links within posts providing you are not selling anything and they are quality links, they are not harmful and should not be deemed as unprofessional or an attempted highjacking of the author’s posts. In fact, social media does not penalize a person for having links inside their posts.

My LinkedIn post saying I was upset went viral and had lots of messages of support. So there are good people out there and I even had some sign-ups for my group “Disabled Entrepreneur”.

Treat people with respect and have a good attitude to life. Never criticize or be judgmental as this can cause mental health issues for the victim. Act professional and if you have something to say message the person privately, not publically.

If you are experiencing any issues please visit our useful links page or alternatively if you have difficultly finding support just drop us a line using the form below and we will be happy to send you some links. If your matter is urgent please contact your local doctor’s surgery or emergency services.

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