Brown & Cream Image Depicting Mental Health Awareness Text On Typewriter Paper. Image Created by PhotoFunia.com Category Vintage Typewriter
The Importance of Empathy and Understanding: A Personal Reflection in Life and in Business
As the editor of both DisabilityUK.co.uk and DisabledEntrepreneur.uk, I made an important announcement a few months ago. I decided to step back from the front end of my business to focus on recovering from mental health issues. This was a necessary step for me, as my well-being had taken a significant hit due to various pressures and personal challenges. Throughout this journey, I have maintained an online journal to update on my disabilities and share my experiences. While I do not disclose all the traumas to everyone, I have encountered, anyone interested can easily research “Renata’s Story,” which appears as the top search result thanks to my expertise in search engine optimization (SEO).
I am acutely aware that many people are also navigating grief, depression, and other mental health problems. My own experiences have made me empathetic and supportive of others facing similar struggles. Through mentorship and counseling, I have aimed to offer a helping hand to those in need. However, a recent encounter with a client has highlighted the complexities of balancing professional commitments with empathy and personal well-being.
This particular client stopped payment for his website hosting without notice, citing a lack of incoming work. This was despite the fact that I had secured a lead for him that was worth conducting safety checks (EICR) for 50 landlord and tenant properties. When I reached out to discuss the situation, he informed me that his friend had only days to live, and he was ceasing to trade due to his own mental health struggles. He also had no intention of fulfilling the remainder of our contract.
In response, I offered him a grace period, only to be met with aggression and accusations of harassment.This triggered my intrusive thoughts and OCD, bringing me to the verge of tears. It was a deeply distressing experience, compounded by my commitment to understanding and supporting mental health.
Business and the Importance of Contracts
Legally, written signed agreements and 30-day notices of cancellation are crucial. My client, however, gave no notice at all. His accusations of harassment were unfounded, and his abrupt cessation of payment breached our contract. My business partner has advised taking the matter to court, but my preference is to settle things amicably, avoiding further animosity. Consequently, I have suspended the website and Facebook page and removed all his banner ads.
I also had my client’s advert featured on a page called “Landlords and Tenants Useful Links,” which is prominently displayed on the first page of search engine results on my digital marketing site, ‘Cymru Marketing Journal.’ This placement was intended to drive significant traffic and business to my client, providing valuable exposure and potential leads. Despite these efforts and the additional support I offered, the unkind and aggressive treatment I received has not only impacted my professional relationship but has also taken a severe toll on my mental health.
The entire situation has caused my mental health to spiral. This is particularly painful given that my client has been known to share posts advocating for mental health awareness. The irony of this is not lost on me.
Understanding Intrusive Thoughts and Mental Health Sensitivity
Intrusive Thoughts: Intrusive thoughts are unwanted, involuntary thoughts, images, or impulses that can be disturbing and distressing. They often occur in people with anxiety disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), depression, and other mental health conditions. These thoughts can be violent, inappropriate, or bizarre, and can cause significant emotional turmoil. Importantly, experiencing intrusive thoughts does not reflect a person’s desires or intentions, but rather an aspect of their mental health struggles.
It is crucial to remember that while someone might openly struggle with mental health issues, it does not mean the person they are interacting with is free from their own challenges. The person you are communicating with may also be dealing with depression, anxiety, or other mental health conditions. Therefore, it is essential to approach every interaction with empathy and understanding, acknowledging that everyone has their own battles, even if they are not immediately apparent.
Conclusion
This experience underscores the importance of being mindful of what others may be going through. We often have little insight into the full extent of another person’s struggles. As someone who has faced significant challenges and is committed to supporting others, it is disheartening to encounter such a lack of empathy.
I hope that sharing my story will encourage others to be more considerate and understanding and to remember that kindness and compassion are always the best approaches, both in business and in life.
It is not a matter of the money, as I was willing to work until December for free to support my client, however to the contrary he agreed to pay a lump sum last week which I then generated an invoice for. Instead, I have been faced with abuse, which has rendered me unwell and caused me to isolate even more from human interaction. This distressing experience has exacerbated my mental health issues, highlighting the profound impact that harsh and unkind treatment can have on individualswho are already struggling. It is a stark reminder of the importance of empathy and the need to approach every situation with compassion and understanding.
My client’s direct actions have caused my mental health to deteriorate significantly. His unkindness, aggression, and false accusations have not only been distressing but have also exacerbated my existing mental health issues. The reason I struggle with my mental health is largely due to the way people treat me, and this recent experience has further highlighted the profound impact that unkind and unjust behavior can have on someone already facing mental health challenges.
Empowering the Spirit of Entrepreneurship: Disabled Entrepreneurs Inspire Joyful Gift Giving this Christmas”
As the festive season envelops us in the warmth of twinkling lights and familiar carols, it’s important to recognize that not everyone experiences the holidays with unbridled joy. For many, Christmas can be a challenging time, marked by feelings of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. The pressures to conform to the societal expectations of merriment and togetherness can intensify pre-existing mental health struggles. In the midst of decking the halls and exchanging gifts, it’s crucial to prioritize your mental well-being.
This Christmas, consider giving yourself the most precious gift of all: the gift of self-care. Amidst the hustle and bustle, take a moment to acknowledge your emotions and recognize that it’s okay not to feel festive all the time. By fostering a mindful approach to your mental health during the holiday season, you can create a space for healing and self-discovery.
Join us on a journey to explore the importance of Christmas mental health, how to navigate the complexities of the season, and why gifting yourself moments of self-care can be the most meaningful present you unwrap this year.
In a celebration of diversity and inclusivity, Disability UK proudly presents a curated selection of products for your Christmas shopping list.
From bespoke artisanal goods to cutting-edge tech innovations, each item on our list represents not just a thoughtful gift for your loved ones but also an opportunity to contribute to a more inclusive and accessible world.
This Christmas, let’s celebrate the entrepreneurial spirit that knows no bounds, proving that innovation and talent flourish regardless of physical abilities. Join us in creating a holiday season that goes beyond the ordinary, filled with gifts that make a difference and bring smiles to both the recipient and the visionary individuals behind these remarkable products.
How to Overcome Fear: Strategies for a Courageous Life
Fear is a natural and instinctual emotion that has played a crucial role in human survival for millennia. It serves as a warning signal, helping us recognize potential threats and dangers. However, in today’s modern world, fear often takes on a different form—one that can hinder personal growth, limit opportunities, and negatively impact our overall well-being. Fortunately, it is possible to overcome fear and lead a more courageous and fulfilling life. In this article, we will explore various strategies to help you conquer your fears.
Understand Your Fear: The first step in overcoming fear is to understand it. Take the time to identify the specific fear that is holding you back. Is it a fear of failure, rejection, public speaking, or the unknown? Once you pinpoint the source of your fear, you can begin to address it more effectively.
Educate Yourself: Knowledge is a powerful antidote to fear. If your fear stems from ignorance or uncertainty, invest time in educating yourself about the subject or situation. The more you know, the more confident you will become, and fear will start to lose its grip.
Challenge Negative Thoughts: Fear often arises from negative thinking patterns and self-doubt. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself whether they are rational or exaggerated. Try to reframe your thinking in a more positive and realistic light. Replace “I can’t do it” with “I can learn and improve.”
Face Your Fear Gradually: Avoiding your fears only reinforces them. Instead, confront them gradually and systematically. Start with smaller, manageable steps and gradually work your way up to facing the fear head-on. For example, if you fear public speaking, begin by speaking in front of a mirror or a trusted friend before addressing larger audiences.
Visualize Success: Visualization is a powerful tool to overcome fear. Take time to imagine yourself successfully facing and conquering your fear. Visualizing success can boost your confidence and reduce anxiety about the situation.
Develop Coping Strategies: Fears can trigger physical and emotional reactions. Learn relaxation techniques like deep breathing, mindfulness, or meditation to manage these responses. These coping strategies can help you stay calm and composed in the face of fear.
Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to seek support from friends, family, or a therapist. Talking about your fears with someone you trust can provide emotional relief and valuable insights. Supportive individuals can offer encouragement and help you feel less isolated in your struggle.
Embrace Failure: Fear of failure is a common obstacle to personal growth. However, it’s essential to understand that failure is a natural part of life and a valuable learning experience. Embrace failure as an opportunity to grow, adapt, and improve.
Set Realistic Goals: Setting achievable goals can help you build confidence and gradually reduce fear. Break down your long-term objectives into smaller, manageable steps. Celebrate your accomplishments along the way to boost your self-esteem.
Take Action: Ultimately, the most effective way to overcome fear is to take action. Procrastination only strengthens fear’s hold on you. Move forward, face your fears, and embrace new opportunities. Each step you take will empower you to overcome your fears and live a more courageous life.
A list of the type of fear someone may have.
Fears can manifest in various forms and can be categorized into different types. Here are some common types of fear that someone may experience:
Phobias: These are intense, irrational fears of specific objects, animals, situations, or activities. Examples include arachnophobia (fear of spiders), acrophobia (fear of heights), and claustrophobia (fear of confined spaces).
Social Anxiety: Fear of social situations, interactions, or public scrutiny. People with social anxiety may fear judgment, embarrassment, or humiliation in social settings.
Fear of Failure: This fear is related to the anticipation of not succeeding in a particular task or endeavor. It can be a significant barrier to taking risks and pursuing one’s goals.
Fear of Rejection: This fear is often tied to a fear of not being accepted, liked, or valued by others. It can impact relationships and lead to avoidance of social situations.
Fear of the Unknown: Some people fear uncertainty and the unfamiliar. This fear can manifest in various ways, such as reluctance to try new things or step outside one’s comfort zone.
Existential Fear: Fear related to the meaning and purpose of life, as well as mortality. It can lead to existential crises and anxiety about the nature of existence.
Fear of Public Speaking: A common fear, glossophobia (fear of public speaking), can cause anxiety and panic when speaking in front of an audience.
Fear of Flying: Aviophobia is the fear of flying, which can range from mild discomfort to severe anxiety when boarding an airplane.
Fear of Abandonment: This fear often stems from past experiences of abandonment or rejection and can lead to clinginess and insecurity in relationships. Heartbreak can lead to grief.
Fear of Success: Counterintuitive as it may seem, some individuals fear the consequences of success, such as increased expectations or changes in their lifestyle.
Fear of Conflict: Conflict avoidance is a common fear, as some people dread confrontation and difficult conversations, even when they are necessary for resolution.
Fear of Failure in Relationships: This fear can manifest as a reluctance to commit to relationships due to concerns about heartbreak, betrayal, or emotional pain.
Fear of Natural Disasters: Some individuals have specific fears related to natural disasters like earthquakes, hurricanes, or tornadoes.
Fear of Illness or Death: Health-related anxieties, including hypochondria, involve a persistent fear of being seriously ill or dying.
Fear of Public Places (Agoraphobia): Agoraphobia can involve fear of open spaces, crowded areas, or situations where escape may be difficult or embarrassing.
Fear of Losing their Financial Safety Net: Losing much-needed benefits where people rely on money just to survive.
Fear of Being Evicted & Made Homeless: When landlords think they can play GOD and print money by increasing rents exponentially over the government rent caps, this will cause mental health deterioration and added pressure on the already underfunded NHS.
Fear of Being Judged: Critical opinions or negative evaluations about others based on their actions, appearance, beliefs, or choices without a thorough understanding of their perspective or circumstances.
Fear of Humiliation: Humiliation is a deeply distressing emotional experience characterized by the degradation, embarrassment, or shame felt when one’s dignity, self-worth, or pride is compromised or attacked. It often involves a public or private situation where an individual feels exposed, and devalued.
Fear of Being Degraded: Diminishing or lowering someone’s value, dignity, or self-worth through disrespectful, demeaning, or humiliating treatment. It involves intentionally or unintentionally subjecting individuals to actions, words, or situations that make them feel inferior, or disrespected.
Fear of Being Silenced or Censored: The fear of being silenced or censored is a growing concern in today’s digital age, where communication and expression often occur through online platforms.
Fear of Losing Your Job and Being Unemployed: If you find yourself in this situation consider starting up your own business. The fear of losing one’s job and becoming unemployed is a deeply unsettling and anxiety-inducing concern that affects many individuals.
Fear of Losing Business: The fear of losing one’s business is a significant source of stress and anxiety for entrepreneurs and business owners. This fear can stem from various factors, including economic downturns, increased competition, operational challenges, or unforeseen setbacks.
Fear of Taking Exams: The fear of taking exams, commonly known as test anxiety, is a prevalent and distressing concern for students of all ages. This fear can manifest as heightened stress, nervousness, or panic before and during exams, negatively affecting performance and overall well-being.
Fear of Being Alone: The fear of being alone, known as autophobia, can be a deeply distressing and isolating experience. It involves an intense apprehension of solitude and often arises from concerns about loneliness, vulnerability, or a lack of social support.
The connection between intrusive thoughts and fear
Intrusive thoughts and fear are closely connected through the emotional and psychological impact they have on an individual’s mental well-being. Intrusive thoughts refer to unwanted and distressing thoughts that repeatedly enter a person’s mind, often against their will. These thoughts can be disturbing, unsettling, or even irrational in nature, and they tend to trigger fear and anxiety.
Here’s how the connection between intrusive thoughts and fear works:
Anxiety and Fear as Precursors: Intrusive thoughts often revolve around themes of danger, harm, or negative outcomes. These themes trigger fear and anxiety because they play on the individual’s deepest fears and insecurities.
Hyperawareness: People experiencing intrusive thoughts tend to become hyperaware of these thoughts and may try to suppress or control them. This heightened awareness can intensify the emotional response, leading to increased fear.
Cognitive Distress: Intrusive thoughts can lead to cognitive distress, as individuals may worry about why they are having such thoughts or what they say about their character. This self-reflection can amplify fear and create a cycle of rumination.
Fear of Loss of Control: Some individuals fear that they might act on these intrusive thoughts, even if they have no intention to do so. This fear of losing control over one’s actions can be particularly distressing.
Avoidance Behaviors: To cope with the fear triggered by intrusive thoughts, some individuals may engage in avoidance behaviors. They might avoid certain places, people, or situations that they associate with their intrusive thoughts, which can limit their daily life and increase their overall anxiety.
Compulsive Behaviors: In some cases, individuals may develop compulsive behaviors (obsessive-compulsive tendencies) as a response to intrusive thoughts. These rituals are performed to alleviate the anxiety and fear associated with the thoughts, but they provide only temporary relief and reinforce the connection between intrusive thoughts and fear.
Impact on Mental Health: Over time, the persistent fear and anxiety generated by intrusive thoughts can have a significant impact on an individual’s mental health. Conditions such as generalized anxiety disorder (GAD), obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), or post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) often involve intrusive thoughts and heightened fear responses.
To address the connection between intrusive thoughts and fear, individuals often benefit from therapeutic approaches like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), exposure therapy, or mindfulness techniques. These therapies can help individuals learn to manage intrusive thoughts, reduce their fear and anxiety, and regain a sense of control over their mental well-being. It’s important to seek professional help when intrusive thoughts and fears become overwhelming or significantly disrupt daily life.
Conclusion
Fear is a universal human experience, but it doesn’t have to control your life. By understanding your fear, educating yourself, challenging negative thoughts, and taking gradual steps to confront your fears, you can break free from its grip. Remember that courage is not the absence of fear but the willingness to face it head-on. With the right strategies and support, you can overcome your fears and lead a more fulfilling, courageous life.
It’s important to note that these fears can vary in intensity and may overlap. Additionally, not all fears are irrational or debilitating; some are natural and serve as protective mechanisms. However, when fear becomes overwhelming and interferes with daily life, seeking support and strategies to overcome it can be beneficial.
Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit & can damage mental health
What is sarcasm
The Art of Saying the Opposite
Imagine someone saying, “Oh, great job! You really nailed it!” while rolling their eyes and using a mocking tone. Or perhaps you’ve heard someone exclaim, “Yeah, right, like that’s ever going to happen!” with a sarcastic smirk. These are just a couple of examples of sarcasm in action, a linguistic tool that adds an extra layer of meaning to our conversations. Sarcasm is a form of verbal irony that relies on saying the opposite of what is intended, often with a mocking or derisive undertone.
Sarcasm is a widely used communication technique employed across various cultures and languages. It can be found in literature, comedy, everyday conversations, and even in online interactions. The word “sarcasm” originates from the Greek word “sarkasmos,” which means “to tear flesh” or “to bite the lips in rage or mockery.” This vivid imagery captures the essence of sarcasm, which is to wound or amuse through words that are intentionally contrary to the intended meaning.
The use of sarcasm serves several purposes. It can be used as a form of humor, adding wit and levity to a conversation. Sarcasm often employs a dry or sardonic tone, emphasizing the gap between what is said and what is meant. It can also be a means of expressing frustration, disdain, or criticism, allowing the speaker to express their true thoughts indirectly.
One of the defining characteristics of sarcasm is its context-dependent nature. Unlike other forms of communication, sarcasm heavily relies on non-verbal cues, such as tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language, to convey its intended meaning. A sarcastic statement delivered with a deadpan expression may be easily misunderstood, as the absence of visual cues can blur the line between sincerity and irony.
Sarcasm is often associated with quick thinking, cleverness, and a certain level of social adeptness. It requires the speaker to be attuned to the nuances of language and to possess a good understanding of the social dynamics within a given conversation or cultural context. However, sarcasm can also be misinterpreted or cause unintended offense, as its subtlety leaves room for confusion.
While sarcasm is prevalent in spoken language, it can pose challenges in written form, particularly in digital communication. With the rise of text messages, emails, and online forums, where non-verbal cues are absent, sarcasm becomes more ambiguous and susceptible to misinterpretation. To mitigate this, various techniques have emerged, such as the use of sarcasm tags (e.g., “/sarcasm”) or emoticons to signal sarcasm in written communication.
It is important to note that sarcasm is not always intended to harm or ridicule. In some cases, it can serve as a bonding mechanism, with both the speaker and the listener understanding the underlying humor or shared perspective. However, it is crucial to consider the impact of sarcasm on others, as it can inadvertently cause offense or perpetuate misunderstandings if not used judiciously.
Sarcasm is a linguistic device that adds complexity, humor, and irony to our conversations. It involves saying the opposite of what is meant, often with a mocking or derisive undertone. Sarcasm relies on non-verbal cues to convey its intended meaning and is context-dependent. While it can be a powerful tool for humor and self-expression, it is essential to be mindful of its potential to cause confusion or offense. Like any form of communication, sarcasm requires sensitivity and an understanding of the social dynamics at play.
How Sarcasm can affect a person’s mental health
The Double-Edged Sword: How Sarcasm Can Affect a Person’s Mental Health
Sarcasm, characterized by the use of irony, ridicule, or mockery to convey contempt or humor, has become a prevalent form of communication in today’s society. It often serves as a coping mechanism or a tool for social interaction. While sarcasm can be seen as entertaining and witty, its impact on a person’s mental health is worth exploring. This article delves into the potential negative effects of sarcasm on mental well-being and highlights the importance of using this form of communication with caution.
Emotional Impact: Sarcasm, when used excessively or inappropriately, can have a profound emotional impact on individuals. The recipient may experience feelings of confusion, hurt, or humiliation. The inherent nature of sarcasm involves veiled insults or mockery, which can erode self-esteem and create emotional distress. Over time, repeated exposure to sarcastic remarks may lead to anxiety, depression, or a general sense of being belittled.
Trust and Communication: Trust is an essential component of healthy relationships. Sarcasm can undermine trust by blurring the lines between sincerity and mockery. When sarcasm becomes the default mode of expression, it can create an environment where individuals are hesitant to express their true thoughts and feelings for fear of being ridiculed. This breakdown in open communication can strain relationships and contribute to feelings of isolation and emotional detachment.
Misinterpretation and Conflict: Sarcasm heavily relies on non-verbal cues, such as tone of voice, facial expressions, and body language. In written communication, such as text messages or online forums, these cues are absent, leading to a higher risk of misinterpretation. A sarcastic remark can easily be taken literally, resulting in confusion or even conflict. Misunderstandings arising from sarcasm can escalate tensions, strain social connections, and impact mental well-being.
Increased Stress and Anxiety: Living in an environment where sarcasm is prevalent can be mentally taxing. The constant need to decipher whether a statement is sincere or sarcastic places an additional cognitive load on individuals. This can lead to heightened stress and anxiety levels as individuals feel the need to constantly be on guard for potential hidden meanings or ridicule. The anticipation of sarcastic comments may create a state of hyper-vigilance, leading to increased levels of anxiety and overall emotional exhaustion.
Cultural and Individual Differences: Sarcasm’s impact on mental health can vary depending on cultural norms and individual differences. What may be seen as harmless banter in one culture or social group might be deeply hurtful in another. Additionally, individual sensitivities and past experiences can influence how sarcasm is perceived and its subsequent effects on mental well-being. Understanding these nuances and respecting boundaries is crucial to maintaining positive mental health within diverse social contexts.
Negative Impact: While sarcasm can be entertaining and serve as a form of social bonding, it is important to recognize its potential negative impact on mental health. Excessive or inappropriate use of sarcasm can erode self-esteem, damage relationships, and contribute to heightened stress and anxiety. Promoting open and sincere communication, along with mindfulness of cultural and individual differences, can help mitigate the potential harm caused by sarcasm. As individuals, we should strive for empathy, choosing our words carefully to foster healthy and supportive interactions, and ensuring that sarcasm does not become a double-edged sword for mental well-being.
My encounter with a sarcastic troll
Yesterday a disgruntled entrepreneur(M.G) who has not had much luck with domain names on LinkedIn commented on a post I made about Robotics and AI domain names and content writing. I guess because we are in the same industry and offer the same services of content writing, this person wanted to discredit me in some way so that he would have more work. Every time this person sent a message I responded by saying “Everyone is entitled to an opinion” to which the person replied sarcastically “I guess I am talking with an expert, so what would I know“? There was absolutely no need for it and he does not know my qualifications or anything about me, so could not come to a conclusion as he does not know how many domains I have sold or what I do for a living. I guess he wanted to oust the competition.
I have never met this person or had any interactions with him other than he was my 1st connection. Prior to blocking this entity, one person liked my comment where I said “Let’s keep this professional and not make it personal“.
Conclusion
My daughter tried to explain to me even famous people have their fair share of haters and for me not to take it personally. Yes, it bothered me that this person who I did not know and have never done business with could judge me and be downright rude.
“It says a lot about a person who is condescending, patronizing, humiliating, belittling or judgemental”.
You should not offer advice if it has not been asked for and you most certainly do not try to belittle someone for your own personal satisfaction especially where there is an audience.
This person has made me feel deflated to the point I feel tearful. I simply do not have the energy to do anything even though I have a big project ahead of me this week. I am going through some tough times at the moment and do not need snakes in my pit or thorns in my side.
Be nice and be kind because you do not know what someone is going through.
Misanthropy is a term used to describe a general dislike, distrust, or contempt for humankind. It is derived from the Greek words “misos” meaning “hatred” and “Anthropos” meaning “human.” Misanthropes are individuals who harbor strong negative sentiments towards humanity as a whole and may perceive human behavior and actions as inherently selfish, ignorant, or malevolent.
While misanthropy is often associated with a pessimistic view of humanity, it is essential to distinguish it from mere cynicism or skepticism. Misanthropes do not merely question human nature or harbor a healthy skepticism; rather, they harbor a deep-seated disdain for human beings, often seeing them as the root cause of societal problems and suffering. Misanthropy is characterized by a profound disillusionment with human potential and a belief that humanity is fundamentally flawed.
Historical and Philosophical Perspectives:
The roots of misanthropy can be traced back to ancient times. In Greek mythology, figures like Prometheus and Sisyphus were portrayed as misanthropic for their rebellion against the gods and their disdain for mortals. In the realm of philosophy, renowned thinkers such as Arthur Schopenhauer and Friedrich Nietzsche explored misanthropic themes in their works. Schopenhauer believed that human existence was characterized by an insatiable will to live, resulting in perpetual dissatisfaction, while Nietzsche criticized conventional morality and the herd mentality of society.
Causes and Manifestations:
Misanthropy can stem from various factors, including personal experiences, societal disillusionment, or a sense of moral superiority. Traumatic experiences, such as betrayal, abuse, or witnessing acts of cruelty, may contribute to an individual’s misanthropic worldview. Prolonged exposure to societal injustices, conflicts, and the darker aspects of human behavior can also erode faith in humanity and foster misanthropic tendencies.
Misanthropes often exhibit behaviors that reflect their negative views of humanity. They may prefer solitude and isolation, finding solace in their own company rather than engaging with others. Misanthropy can manifest as a withdrawal from social interactions, as misanthropes may find it challenging to relate to or trust others. They may view social norms and conventions with skepticism, perceiving them as superficial or hypocritical.
Psychological Considerations:
Misanthropy can be seen as a response to feelings of disappointment, disillusionment, or betrayal. It may provide a defense mechanism to shield oneself from further harm or disappointment by maintaining a distance from others. In some cases, misanthropy may be a symptom of underlying mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, or personality disorders.
Addressing Misanthropy:
While misanthropy may appear extreme or concerning, it is crucial to approach individuals with empathy and understanding. Engaging in open dialogue and attempting to uncover the underlying causes of their misanthropy can help create opportunities for personal growth and healing. Encouraging a sense of community and fostering positive experiences can gradually challenge and reshape negative perceptions.
Moreover, misanthropy can be counteracted by highlighting the positive aspects of humanity. By emphasizing acts of kindness, compassion, and altruism, it becomes possible to restore faith in humanity and counterbalance the misanthropic worldview. Recognizing that humans possess both positive and negative qualities and acknowledging the potential for growth and change is vital in addressing misanthropy.
Misanthropy is a complex phenomenon characterized by a deep-rooted aversion toward humanity. It is born out of negative experiences, societal disillusionment, or a belief in the inherent flaws of human nature. While misanthropy may pose challenges for individuals and society, fostering empathy, promoting positive experiences, and highlighting the potential for growth and change can help address and overcome misanthropic
What Are The Statistics on Misanthropy
Misanthropy is often an individual’s personal perspective of humankind, making it difficult to quantify on a large scale. Additionally, misanthropy can manifest in varying degrees and may not always be openly expressed.
That said, some studies and surveys have attempted to explore related attitudes and perspectives. For example, surveys on trust in institutions or levels of social trust can indirectly provide insights into societal attitudes toward humanity. Various studies have examined societal trust in different countries, highlighting variations in levels of trust among populations.
It’s worth noting that misanthropy is not a widely studied phenomenon compared to other psychological or sociological topics. Therefore, comprehensive and up-to-date statistical data specifically focused on misanthropy may be limited. The subjective nature of misanthropy makes it challenging to measure and quantify accurately.
Ultimately, misanthropy is a complex and individualistic perspective, and understanding its prevalence would require more extensive research and analysis, possibly through surveys, interviews, or psychological assessments designed to explore such attitudes and sentiments. The other challenging problem is getting people to admit they dislike others. Being truthful is the ultimate goal but people may not be so forthcoming with their own thoughts and beliefs, which would not make the data accurate.
What if a patient feels they have misanthropy
If a patient feels they have misanthropy, it can be an important issue to address in therapy or counseling sessions. Here are a few considerations for both the patient and the mental health professional:
Create a safe and non-judgmental space: It’s essential for the patient to feel comfortable expressing their feelings and concerns without fear of judgment. The therapist should establish a safe and accepting environment where the patient feels heard and understood.
Explore underlying causes and experiences: Understanding the origins of the patient’s misanthropy can be helpful in developing insights and identifying potential triggers. Encourage the patient to share their experiences, including any past traumas, disappointments, or negative interactions that may have contributed to their negative view of humanity.
Validate and normalize emotions: It’s crucial to validate the patient’s emotions and let them know that their feelings are understood. Even if misanthropy may seem extreme, it’s important to acknowledge that it can be a response to negative experiences or a way of coping with disappointment or betrayal.
Encourage self-reflection and perspective-taking: Engaging the patient in self-reflection can help them gain a deeper understanding of their misanthropic beliefs and their impact on their own well-being and relationships. Encourage them to consider alternative perspectives and challenge their negative assumptions about humanity.
Explore coping strategies and alternative beliefs: Work collaboratively with the patient to identify healthier coping strategies for dealing with negative emotions and disappointments. Introduce them to positive experiences and examples of kindness and empathy that can help counterbalance their negative worldview.
Consider underlying mental health conditions: Misanthropy can sometimes be a symptom or expression of underlying mental health conditions, such as depression, anxiety, or personality disorders. If necessary, a mental health professional may evaluate the patient for any co-occurring conditions and develop an appropriate treatment plan.
Engage in social activities and community involvement: Encourage the patient to participate in social activities or community initiatives that promote positive interactions and reinforce the potential for human connection and kindness. This can help challenge their misanthropic beliefs and provide them with opportunities to experience positive interactions.
Conclusion
It’s important to note that addressing misanthropy may require time, patience, and ongoing therapeutic support. Each individual’s journey will be unique, and the therapeutic process should be tailored to their specific needs and circumstances.
As the editor of this site and how I publically write about my health. I can safely say I have an element of misanthropy because I have socially distanced myself from the outside world, other than couriers, delivery drivers, and home contractors, but if I had a choice and there was a way of not interacting I would most defiantly be keen to explore this option. I personally cannot wait when robots and AI to take over the world albeit it may not be in my lifetime, but as technology progresses fast, I should not say “Never say never”.
I am happiest in front of my computer and do not have to deal with people. I have my phone on do not disturb and only interact via email or chat.
In fact, I have only stepped out of my home, twice under duress in the last five years. Don’t get me wrong if there was a medical emergency I would have no option but to leave my safe place and worry about the consequences afterward, but as it stands I have everything under control and working for me just fine having my groceries delivered and keeping workmen at a safe distance…The only part that has failed me is my own GP where I have reached out twice in the last 2.5 years and have not responded. There is a reason why I do not take incoming calls.
I would not go as far as saying I despise all humans because not everyone has done me wrong. I just have no trust for mankind whoever they may be and as the bible say you should not hold grudges but forgive the ones that have done you wrong. Therefore I forgive the likes of my landlord and his cahoots assistant who has put my rent up by £210 per month but that does say I have to like them. They have crossed the line with me.
From The Bible
Luke 6.37
“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.
Acts 2.38
Peter replied, “Repent and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins. And you will receive the gift of the Holy Spirit.
Romans 12:14
We should bless those who persecute us bless and not curse them. We are to pray for them and ask God to bless them because they need His mercy just as much as we do.
When you pray for those who hurt you or mistreat you, God will give you the grace to forgive them, and in so doing, he will heap burning coals of fire upon their heads (Proverbs 25:22).
Romans 12:19 says that revenge belongs to God and He will repay those who hurt us when the time is right and it’s not for us to seek revenge on people who have hurt us in one way or the other.
One of the biggest challenges we can face in life is when our own family does not support us. It can be a deeply painful experience, leaving us feeling alone, misunderstood, and even betrayed. Whether we’re pursuing a particular career, making a major life decision, or simply trying to live our lives on our own terms, the lack of support from those closest to us can be incredibly discouraging.
However, it’s important to recognize that this is a common experience that many people go through. It can happen for a variety of reasons, such as different beliefs or values, personal biases or resentments, or simply a lack of understanding. In some cases, family members may even be actively trying to hold us back, out of fear or jealousy.
Whatever the reason, it’s important to remember that you are not alone in this. Many people have overcome similar challenges and gone on to achieve great success and happiness in their lives, without family interactions.
Here are some strategies to help you navigate this difficult situation:
Focus on your own goals and dreams: When faced with unsupportive family members, it can be easy to get caught up in their negativity and start to doubt yourself. However, it’s important to remember that your own goals and dreams are what matter most. Stay focused on what you want to achieve, and don’t let anyone else’s opinions or doubts hold you back.
Find support elsewhere: While it’s important to have the support of our families, it’s not always possible. In these situations, it’s important to seek out support elsewhere. This could be through friends, mentors, or even online communities. Look for people who share your values and goals, and who can provide you with the encouragement and support you need.
Communicate openly: In some cases, it may be possible to improve the situation by communicating openly with your family members. Try to approach the conversation from a place of understanding and compassion, and be clear about what you need from them. However, be prepared for the possibility that they may not be willing or able to change their attitudes.
Don’t take it personally: It’s important to remember that your family members’ lack of support is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. Often, their attitudes are more about their own fears and insecurities than anything to do with you. Try not to take their negativity personally, and focus instead on building your own self-confidence and resilience.
Keep moving forward: It’s important to keep moving forward toward your goals, even in the face of opposition. This may mean making difficult decisions or sacrifices along the way, but ultimately, it’s your life to live. Stay true to yourself and your values, and trust that you will find your way to success and happiness, even without the support of your family.
List of Things Your Family May Not Support You In.
Families can be a source of love and support, but sometimes they may not understand or support certain choices or decisions we make in life. Here are some examples of things your family may not support you in:
Your career choice
Your educational pursuits
Your romantic relationships
Your religious or spiritual beliefs
Your lifestyle choices (e.g. vegetarianism, minimalism, etc.)
Your political views
Your creative passions (e.g. art, music, writing, etc.)
Your financial decisions
Your personal goals and ambitions
Your mental health needs or treatment
Your sexuality or gender identity
Your choice to leave or distance yourself from the family
Your decision to start a family or have children
Your choice of friends or social circle
Your personal appearance or style choices.
How Your Mental Health Is Affected.
When your family does not support you, it can have a significant impact on your mental health. The lack of support can cause feelings of isolation, rejection, and self-doubt. It can also lead to stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as exacerbate pre-existing mental health conditions.
Here are some ways in which your mental health may be affected:
Increased stress and anxiety: The lack of support from your family can lead to increased stress and anxiety, especially if you feel like you are facing challenges alone. You may worry about making the right decisions, and the fear of failure may become overwhelming.
Feelings of isolation and loneliness: When your family does not support you, it can be a very isolating experience. You may feel like no one understands you or what you are going through, and this can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
Self-doubt and low self-esteem: The lack of support from your family can cause you to doubt your abilities and worth as a person. You may begin to question whether you are making the right choices or whether you are good enough to succeed.
Depression: The ongoing stress and feelings of isolation can lead to depression, especially if you are already prone to this condition. You may experience feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed.
Substance abuse: In some cases, people may turn to drugs or alcohol as a way to cope with the stress and pain of not having the support of their family.
It’s important to take care of your mental health and seek support if you are struggling. Here are some things you can do to take care of yourself:
Practice self-care: Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time with supportive friends.
Seek professional help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and develop coping strategies.
Connect with others: Find support through friends, support groups, or online communities that can offer encouragement and validation.
Set boundaries: It’s important to set boundaries with family members who are not supportive. This may mean limiting your interactions with them or being clear about what you need from them.
Practice self-compassion: Remember to be kind and compassionate towards yourself, and recognize that it’s not your fault if your family does not support you. Focus on your strengths and celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.
The Impact On The Lack Of Empowerment & Motivation.
Empowerment and motivation are crucial elements for personal and professional growth. When individuals lack empowerment and motivation, their productivity and morale suffer, leading to negative consequences for both the individual and the organization they work for.
Family plays a significant role in an individual’s life, and when they do not empower or motivate, it can have a significant impact on the individual’s emotional and mental well-being. When family members do not provide support, encouragement, and motivation, it can lead to feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem, and lack of confidence.
A lack of empowerment and motivation from family members can affect an individual’s personal and professional life. In personal life, it can lead to difficulty in making decisions and taking ownership of their life. They may feel a lack of support and encouragement in pursuing their dreams and aspirations, leading to a sense of hopelessness and frustration.
In the professional sphere, a lack of empowerment and motivation from family members can lead to a lack of ambition and drive. Individuals may lack the confidence to take risks, pursue their goals, and take initiative at work. This can lead to a stagnant career, lack of fulfillment, and decreased job satisfaction.
Additionally, a lack of empowerment and motivation from family members can lead to strained relationships and emotional distress. Individuals may feel unappreciated and unsupported, leading to feelings of resentment and anger towards their family members. This can cause communication breakdowns and negative interactions, leading to a toxic family environment.
It is important for family members to provide emotional support, encouragement, and motivation to their loved ones. This can be done by actively listening to their concerns and providing constructive feedback, recognizing their achievements and efforts, and offering assistance and guidance in pursuing their goals.
A lack of empowerment and motivation from family members can have a significant impact on an individual’s emotional and mental well-being, as well as their personal and professional growth. It is crucial for family members to provide support, encouragement, and motivation to their loved ones, creating a positive and nurturing family environment that fosters personal and professional success.
Why Sometimes People, in General, Want You to Fail.
Success is an admirable goal that most people strive for in life. Whether it’s achieving professional success, personal goals, or even just small victories, the feeling of accomplishment is exhilarating. However, it’s an unfortunate reality that sometimes people, in general, want you to fail. This may come as a surprise, but it’s a common occurrence in both personal and professional settings. In this article, we’ll explore the reasons why this happens and how to overcome it.
Jealousy: Jealousy is perhaps the most common reason why people want others to fail. When someone is doing well, and they are achieving their goals, it can make others feel inadequate or envious. Instead of being happy for that person’s success, they want them to fail because it makes them feel better about themselves. It’s a toxic mindset that can lead to negative behaviors and attitudes.
Insecurity: Another reason why people want others to fail is insecurity. Sometimes people feel threatened by the success of others because it makes them feel less important or less capable. Insecurity can manifest in different ways, such as passive-aggressive behavior or even overt attempts to sabotage someone’s success. It’s important to recognize when someone is acting out of insecurity so that you can respond appropriately.
Competition: Competition can be healthy and motivating, but it can also be the reason why people want you to fail. In some cases, people may view your success as a threat to their own goals and aspirations. This can lead to a competitive mindset where they want to see you fail so that they can succeed. It’s important to remember that healthy competition is about pushing each other to be better, not tearing each other down.
Resentment: Resentment can be a powerful emotion that can drive people to want others to fail. When someone has wronged them in the past or has a history of being difficult to work with, it can be tempting to want them to fail. In some cases, this can be justified, but in others, it can be a toxic attitude that leads to negativity and resentment.
Schadenfreude: Schadenfreude is a German word that means taking pleasure in the misfortune of others. It’s a toxic mindset that can lead to negative behaviors and attitudes. When someone is experiencing success, it can be tempting to want to see them fail just so that you can feel better about yourself. However, this is a harmful attitude that can lead to a negative cycle of behavior.
So how do you overcome the desire for others to see you fail? Here are a few tips:
Focus on your goals: When you focus on your goals, you’re less likely to be distracted by what others are doing. Keep your eye on the prize and work hard to achieve your goals.
Surround yourself with positive people: Surrounding yourself with positive people who support and encourage you can help you overcome negativity from others. Having a supportive network of people can make all the difference when you’re trying to achieve your goals.
Stay humble: Staying humble can help you avoid the negative attitudes that come with success. Remember that success is a journey, not a destination, and be grateful for the opportunities you have.
Don’t engage in negative behavior: When someone is trying to bring you down, it can be tempting to engage in negative behavior in return. However, this only fuels the negativity and doesn’t solve anything. Instead, take the high road and stay positive.
Learn from failure: Failure is a natural part of the process. Instead of being discouraged by failure, use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. When you approach failure with a growth mindset, you’ll be better equipped to overcome the negativity of others.
How To Remove Negative People Out Of Your Life.
Surrounding yourself with positive and supportive individuals can make a significant difference in your life. However, negative people can drain your energy, cause stress, and create a toxic environment. Removing these individuals from your life can be challenging but necessary for your well-being. Here are some tips on how to remove negative people from your life.
Identify the negative individuals: It’s essential to identify the individuals who bring negativity into your life. These individuals may be family members, friends, colleagues, or acquaintances. They could be people who criticize, judge, belittle, or gossip about you or others. Once you identify these individuals, you can create a plan to remove them from your life.
Set boundaries: Setting boundaries is crucial when dealing with negative people. You need to communicate clearly what you will and won’t accept from others. This could mean limiting your interactions, reducing the time spent with them, or completely cutting off contact. Be firm and consistent with your boundaries, and don’t let others guilt-trip you into violating them.
Practice self-care: Removing negative people from your life can be emotionally challenging. Therefore, it’s essential to take care of yourself during this process. Practice self-care activities that help you relax and rejuvenate, such as yoga, meditation, exercise, or spending time with positive and supportive individuals.
Focus on the positive: Surround yourself with positive people and activities that uplift and inspire you. This could be joining a support group, volunteering, taking up a new hobby, or spending time with friends and family who bring positivity into your life.
Be selective: Be selective about the people you allow into your life. Surround yourself with individuals who share your values, interests, and goals. These individuals will support and motivate you to reach your full potential.
Seek professional help: Removing negative people from your life can be challenging, especially if you have a history with them. Seek professional help from a therapist or counselor to help you process your emotions and develop strategies to deal with challenging situations.
Removing negative people from your life can be a difficult but necessary step toward creating a more positive and fulfilling life. Remember to prioritize your well-being, set boundaries, and surround yourself with positive and supportive individuals. With time, you’ll see the positive impact of removing negative people from your life.
Why People Do Not Care:
It is a painful reality that some people do not care about us, even when we have shown them love and kindness. It is important to understand that this does not necessarily reflect on our worth as individuals, but rather on the complexities of human relationships.
There are several reasons why some people may not care about us. One reason is that they may have their own priorities, goals, and values that differ from ours. This can lead to a lack of interest in our lives or a lack of concern for our well-being. For example, if someone values material success above all else, they may not see the value in maintaining close relationships or showing empathy towards others.
Another reason why someone may not care about us is that they may be dealing with their own personal struggles, such as mental health issues, financial difficulties, or relationship problems. When people are struggling to cope with their own challenges, they may not have the emotional energy or capacity to focus on others.
Furthermore, some people may simply be self-centered or narcissistic, which can make it difficult for them to empathize with others or care about their needs. These individuals may prioritize their own wants and desires above all else and view others as a means to an end.
It is important to recognize that we cannot control how others feel about us. While it can be hurtful and frustrating when someone does not care about us, we can choose to focus on the relationships that are meaningful and fulfilling in our lives. We can surround ourselves with people who appreciate and support us, and work on cultivating healthy boundaries with those who do not.
Additionally, it can be helpful to examine our own expectations and behaviors in relationships. Are we expecting too much from others? Are we putting in effort to maintain our relationships and show empathy towards others? By reflecting on our own actions, we can work towards building more positive and fulfilling relationships in our lives.
While it is painful to experience the feeling that some people do not care about us, it is important to recognize that this is not necessarily a reflection of our worth as individuals. People have their own priorities, struggles, and values that can impact their ability to care for others. By focusing on cultivating healthy relationships and examining our own behaviors, we can work towards building meaningful connections in our lives.
If Your Family Do Not Support You, Then How Do You Know They Love or Care About You?
Family is often seen as the cornerstone of our support system. It is where we look for emotional and physical support, guidance, and care. However, not everyone is lucky enough to have a supportive family. Sometimes, family members may not support you in your life choices or may not be there for you when you need them the most. In such situations, it is natural to question whether they love or care about you at all.
Firstly, it is important to understand that every family has its own set of dynamics and relationships. The way family members express love and care may differ from one family to another. Some families may show their love and care through physical affection and constant communication, while others may show it through providing for the family’s financial needs. Therefore, just because your family does not show support in the way you expect them to does not mean they do not care about you.
Secondly, it is essential to remember that family members are human too. They have their own limitations and struggles that may hinder their ability to support you. For instance, a parent may not be able to attend your graduation because they have to work long hours to provide for the family. A sibling may not be able to help you move to a new apartment because they are struggling with their own mental health issues. Therefore, it is crucial to be empathetic and understanding toward your family members.
Thirdly, it is important to recognize that not everyone has the same goals and aspirations in life. You may want to pursue a career in the arts, but your parents may want you to become a doctor or an engineer. In such cases, it is common for family members to express their concerns and opinions about their choices. However, it does not mean that they do not love or care about you. It may simply be their way of showing their concern for your future.
Lastly, it is essential to communicate openly and honestly with your family members. If you feel that they are not supportive of your decisions, try to have a conversation with them about your feelings. It is possible that they may not even be aware that their actions are causing you pain or distress. By opening up to them, you give them an opportunity to understand your perspective and work towards a more supportive relationship.
Conclusion
When your family does not support you, it can be challenging and painful. However, by staying focused on your own goals and dreams, seeking support elsewhere, communicating openly, not taking it personally, and keeping moving forward, you can overcome these obstacles and find success and happiness on your own terms. Remember, you are not alone in this, and there are many others who have faced similar challenges and come out the other side stronger and more resilient.
Having a family that does not support you can be challenging and disheartening and at the end of the day, we have to step back and prioritize our mental health.
If you see your family interacting with other members on social media and not you, you have to decide how you will deal with them moving forward. Your mental health should be your number one priority.
Joining support groups could be one answer, otherways is to keep yourself busy, keep a journal and express your thoughts on paper or online. Seek medical help when you are feeling overwhelmed or depressed. Be vocal about how you feel. If you are not into socializing then find friends online.
Often, it’s a matter of different values, beliefs, and perspectives. However, it’s important to find a balance between honoring your own choices and maintaining a positive relationship with your family, even if you don’t always see eye-to-eye.
The lack of support from your family can have a significant impact on your mental health. It’s important to take care of yourself and seek professional support if you are struggling.
Earnestness is the path of immortality (Nirvana), and thoughtlessness is the path of death. Those who are in earnest do not die, those who are thoughtless are as if dead already. Gautam, The Buddha.
Thoughtlessness, inconsideration, and narcissism.
I start today with an example of a person (my neighbor) that showed narcissistic traits, not to me may I add but to a ‘Tesco Delivery Driver’ that came to deliver my shopping.
I was in the middle of a business call when my delivery arrived and my daughter came to meet and greet the female driver. The driver was very young (18 to be exact) and happened to say her age and brief bio to my daughter after the incident.
There is a reason for me to point out the gender, bear with me…
My argument would have been would my neighbor have had the balls to come out and rant to a man if they were older than this girl? This was a show of intimidation and disrespect. This was to show that he seems to think he has some authority and looks down at people whilst in the next breath is two-faced and nice to you when it suits him. Ironically he has two daughters both in their twenties and early thirties and this girl is someone’s daughter.
Basically, what had happened the driver pulled up close to my neighbor’s car, (not a supercar but an old saloon banger) and he came out of his house ranting that the van was too close to his car. The van would have been offloading no more than 10 minutes if that but he was having none of it, the van was too close for his comfort. Anyway, he then called the driver a “Stupid B#tch”. The young girl after he had gone burst into tears and said under normal circumstances she may have dismissed the rudeness but the fact she heard that her Grandmother had died as she started her shift her emotions got the better of her.
“You do not know what is going on in a person’s life, so be careful what you say”!
Bearing in mind that this very neighbor was an employee of Tescos and so was his daughter, makes me wonder how he got the job when he speaks to people in this way. It’s a pity that I was not there to see and hear what went on as I would have put in my ten penneth.
My daughter immediately relayed what had happened.
Being a self-centered narcissist will eventually catch up with you.
Forgiveness!
As I keep telling everyone and anyone that listens if you find it in your heart to forgive God or a high Power (The Universe) will forgive you and will punish the person that has done you wrong.
Name-Calling!
I am going to change my name to Morticia Addams– The Addams Family!
Name-calling is my neighbor’s speciality, I can totally believe what has happened, as it is not the first time I have heard this same person name-calling and stating that the house I reside in looks like the Addams Family home. I rent one of the apartments and it is not my responsibility to take care of the exterior. Although he could be referring to us on a more personal note. 🤣😂
Name-calling, being spiteful, and being unkind is wrong on so many levels. You do not know what someone is going through when you open your mouth. It can actually affect someone’s mental health if you do not put your brain in gear before putting your mouth in motion. I am trusting God or the Universe to punish him seeing as I have let it go and have forgiven him.
Wouldn’t it be cool if I could buy the property I live in and see their mortified faces that I am here to stay? They would no longer be able to report me to my landlord, and not being picked on would be one for the books. Imagine parking my brand spanking new 4×4 Porsche Carerra or my GMC Hummer SUV and then telling him that he has parked too close. 🤣😂.
If you have positive thoughts, you can manifest anything, as it says in the bible “Matthew 13:12 Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him.”. Meaning if you think negatively only negative things will continuously come into your life, but if you think positively and imagine you already have what you want it will one day manifest itself but you have to believe.
Why People Do Not Care.
People only care if they are directly affected by something or someone. They only care about themselves and their close network of friends and family. Yes you see activists rebelling for the sake of the world, yet you have world leaders b#mbing and k#lling innocent people. You have poverty, famine, homelessness (not every homeless person is a crackhead), and third-world countries. People do not care.
In fact whilst I was in an abusive relationship instead of this neighbor calling the Police, where I could have been saved from a beating when he heard a commotion, reported me to the landlord. This just shows that people simply do not care other than about themselves and their family and friends, but that is it.
My neighbor will one day realize without me mentioning his name that he has done wrong when I publish my book.
My neighbor is the type of person that will chat 💩 about you to my landlord and the community and people would believe it. So I hear you say if I am so unhappy where I live, why don’t I move, well the answer is simple I will when the time is right, or I could just stay put and buy the house as an investment and rattle my neighbors even more.
It really rattles me when people are not kind and considerate and put some thought into what they say before opening their mouths. No wonder I have social disconnection issues.
An attitude is an emotion and belief (good or bad) portrayed by you or someone else.
In psychology, attitude is a psychological construct, a mental and emotional entity that inheres in or characterizes a person. In other words a definitive belief to a response to a situation.
A good attitude is being positive and optimistic, whilst a bad attitude is negative, judgemental, and pessimistic.
An attitude is a complex feeling and is an acquired state through life experiences and set beliefs.
Attitude is an individual’s predisposed state of mind that influences the individual’s thoughts and actions.
Prominent psychologist Gordon Allport described this latent psychological construct as “the most distinctive and indispensable concept in contemporary social psychology.” Simply put attitudes in psychology are the feelings individuals have about themselves and the world.
Attitude can be formed from a person’s past and present. Key topics in the study of attitudes include attitude strength, attitude change, consumer behavior, and attitude-behavior relationships.
For me, I have had to bite my tongue on many occasions of late when someone I have communicated with has a bad attitude and is very defensive.
I have had to tell myself this is not my fault, that this person must be going through some issues in his life that he is not telling the world about and has this attitude or invisible wall that he hides behind whilst hurling out abuse.
People that have a fear of failure will become defensive and have bad attitudes, going on their high horses shouting from the rooftops, and being loud so as not to give the game away.
People may have attitudes for the following reasons:
Afraid of failure. Some people feel emabarrassed, scared and vulnerable when we feel threatened, like a cornered animal. People put up invisible barriers to “protect” themselves by expecting the worst. We figure that if we don’t expect anything good to happen, we won’t experience any letdown when things don’t go well. We haven’t developed sufficient skills to deal with life not going our way, so we shoot down any relationship or project ahead of time.
Our role models (possibly our parents, teachers, partners, spouses or bosses) with negative or narcissistic controlling attitudes. We try to be strong and end up being defensive, so not to get hurt again.
Acceptance and Approval. We worry what other people think of us. We worry that other people might not approve of us or like us, we decide (either consciously or unconsciously) to beat them to the punch and “not like them first”.
Trauma. We have experienced significant trauma, hardship, relationship breakup, seperation or divorce, or failures, loss of a job, a business failure, including loss of a loved one.
Memories. We subconsciously replaying an issue with an authority figure or someone who controlled us a syndrome known as repetition compulsion. We cannot erase our memories and we cannot forget.
Mental Health Issues. We suffer from clinical depression and/or a chemical imbalance. In such cases, consulting a medical professional might be helpful.
Physical Health Problems. We have a medical condition that causes us to get depressed from worry or anxiety of not knowing if our illness is curable or if we are going to die.
A bad Attitude can cause a domino effect. Treat people like you would want to be treated. If you are rude and hurtful think of the consequences of your actions.
Do not pretend to be something you are not. I see enough of this on LinkedIn with people being false and writing false stories.
Never criticize anyone without being prepared to be criticized back. I had such an incident where I innocently complimented someone for their marketing efforts and said they should comment on other people’s posts and add a link. Well, that did not go down well and this said individual went on his high horse criticizing me so when I pointed out he should not be making posts “Buy my stuff, I need to feed the kids” because it does not look professional although I did not quite use those words. I simply thought if he can throw punches and call me “needy” he should take criticism also and I said what I thought to his marketing campaign which in turn caused him to go on the defense stating that “he can write what he wants” and that it was tongue in cheek humor which obviously backfired. Yes, that is true but he can write what he wants, but he should have also accepted criticism seeing he drew the first sword. But to go to the extreme and openly criticize me in front of his audience is very unprofessional, he should have if anything directly messaged me on a private chat. His argument was that I tried to hijack his post by putting my own link in (I was not selling anything to him or his network and possibly could have helped many people including himself). He then went on to block me like I really care. What he did not realize was I was planning to book a VIP Birthday for my 60th. It is not going to happen now because he was rude and obviously thinks so highly of himself to be super special which he is not. I am not upset about losing his acquaintance as he is two a penny in my eyes, but I am upset about my ruined birthday plans.
I won’t mention his name or what industry he is in as the detectives out there can easily track him down.
I will however promote someone else’s business in the same industry for free so that he knows he bit off more than he can chew. I will make sure the company will secure global positioning and be ahead of their competitors including him.
Have I got a bad attitude, no not really, but people who do me wrong should feel my wrath.
Generally speaking, I am a nice and kind person but God helps those that rattle my cage.
Yes, I am upset, I will get over it as I am a strong person and this feeling is only temporary.
Life goes on and this person is not the only person in his industry offering the service I wanted. As my daughter said, “it’s hard luck for him as he has lost a lot of business, through blocking me for no real reason”
Marketing – Adding links within posts providing you are not selling anything and they are quality links, they are not harmful and should not be deemed as unprofessional or an attempted highjacking of the author’s posts. In fact, social media does not penalize a person for having links inside their posts.
My LinkedIn post saying I was upset went viral and had lots of messages of support. So there are good people out there and I even had some sign-ups for my group “Disabled Entrepreneur”.
Treat people with respect and have a good attitude to life. Never criticize or be judgmental as this can cause mental health issues for the victim. Act professional and if you have something to say message the person privately, not publically.
If you are experiencing any issues please visit our useful links page or alternatively if you have difficultly finding support just drop us a line using the form below and we will be happy to send you some links. If your matter is urgent please contact your local doctor’s surgery or emergency services.
Feeling Suicidal is when a person is in a very dark place metaphorically speaking when they have lost the will to live and they see no other way of escaping from the nightmare they are in.
The rise in suicides likely to be linked to austerity – but the story behind each suicide is complex.
When a person has lost all hope and the will to live they cannot see anything else other than dying. They believe that once they die their nightmare will be over and they will not feel anguish, sadness, loneliness, or despair. They do believe the grass is greener on the other side but is it though?.. Some people believe if you commit suicide you go to hell. So if life feels like hell right now, the real hell will be far worse.
When a person falls into this state of feeling hopeless when nothing is working out fine for them and no one understands them or cares or bothers with them it is understandable they may sink deeper into the abyss.
Most of our depression is fueled by fear, loss, and grief. “Disabled Entrepreneur UK” covers all topics in all categories (I have linked some of the topics in this article).
There are many factors that can cause a person to feel so low:
They feel like a failure, they have nothing to show for their life, they fear failure.
They have lost their job.
They have lost their home, through evicition or natual disaster, divorce, seperation or money problems such as bankruptcy or not being able to keep up with the mortgage payments.
They have lost their family through death or family fued.
They have or are going through a divorce and are losing their home, their children and their money.
They have been robbed.
Their business is going under.
They have lost their life partner, through seperation, or death.
They have lost their child through miscarrage, illness or accidental death.
They are discriminated, humiliated or made a mockery of. They have people or institutes that judge them.
The have financial burdens that if their money was taken away how would they cope (benefits).
They feel no one cares or understands them and every time they reach out people do not take them seriously.
They are stuck in a physically and mentally abusive relationship.
They are being bullied in school or in the workplace.
Harrassment because of sexual orientation, religion, skin colour, beliefs, ethnicity.
They have no friends.
They feel lonely.
They feel the world has turned against them.
Their family and friends have turned against them because or their sexual orientation, religion or beliefs.
They are the abuser in a domstic viilent relationship and have they gone too far with their actions and feel worried they will get caught.
Many adults will experience feelings of hopelessness or suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives.
This could be because they do not have a close support network that understands them (friends/family/co-workers) and they may feel embarrassed to reach anyone in their network for the fear of being laughed at or for the worries they have to be brushed under the carpet so to speak.
SIGNSTO LOOK OUT FOR.
Social Withdrawal.
Excessive Quietness,
Irritability.
Uncharacteristic Outbursts.
Crying For No Reason.
Hating Everything and Everyone.
Talking about Death or Suicide.
“If you are feeling suicidal, the most important thing is to talk to someone“.
“If authoritarian institutions try to judge or discriminate against a person for their mental health, remind them no one is perfect and everyone could be in the same shoes as a suicidal person one day feeling life is not worth living”.
When you feel sad and lonely and feel you have no one to turn to there are organizations specifically designed to help people going through what you are going through. They are not discriminating or judgemental they actually care about you as they would not be there otherwise. They are there to lend an ear, you do not even have to say your real name. You just need to take the brave steps to reach out that is all you have to do.
If you are going through a difficult time, you may be feeling isolated and disconnected from your friends, family, or other groups. It might it difficult to start a conversation about your feelings, therefore there are organizations such as the Samaritans that can listen to your problems and perhaps steer you in the right direction. But it’s important that you let the people around you know how you are feeling. It’s important to remember that people in these organizations care and will want to help you.
Saying that, be prepared for the people in your immediate circle that may be oblivious to your sadness and may try to back away because they have their own problems.
The best people to start with are the ones that have been professionally trained, such as a GP or Mental Health Organisation. Not everyone in your close network of friends and family will understand or even want to help you, so keep that in mind.
What to do if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts
Your GP should be the first point of contact for any issues affecting your physical and mental health, including suicidal thoughts. They will also be able to diagnose a state of depression or anything in your lifestyle that may be contributing to how you may be feeling.
If you do not have a GP but need to speak with a doctor urgently, you can call NHS non-emergency number on 111 and they will direct you to the nearest available walk-in centre or doctor’s surgery.
Tips for coping with suicidal feelings:
Try not to think about the future, just focus on the present and getting through the day, start by taking baby steps.
Avoid drugs or alcohol, these will only add fuel to the fire.
Go to a safe place like a friend’s house, family or public area, avoid being stuck at home alone, go somewhere where there are people around.
Start a journal, this could be a physical book or online blog.
Find a reason to help others through your personal story.
Do something you usually enjoy.
If you are about to harm yourself or have already done so, call 999 as soon as possible or go to Accident and Emergency (A&E) at the nearest hospital.
Professional suicide support services
If you’re feeling very low, you can contact any of the professional support services below for free.
Sane Line – call 0300 304 7000 (available 4.30pm – 10.30pm every day)
Papyrus Hopeline – call 0800 068 4141, text 07786209697 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org (available 10am – 10pm weekdays, 2pm – 10pm weekends and bank holidays)
The Mental Health Foundation is concerned but not surprised by the latest UK suicide figures. They are in line with other evidence of the distress people are feeling, such as rates of self-harm and self-reported feelings of shame.
Some of the rises in the number of suicides may be due to a change in the rules in England and Wales about how coroners should record suicides. However, it is currently too soon to know what difference the change has made.
Whenever a person takes their own life, there is a complex story behind it.
There is also not a single simple explanation for the increase in the number of people taking their own lives, but it is likely to be linked with economic austerity. We know that suicide rates are linked with people’s uncertainty about their financial futures, unemployment, persistent inequality, loneliness, discrimination, and ill-health.(Citation/Credit).
Asking about suicide does not encourage it, nor does it lead a person to start thinking about it; in fact it may help prevent it, and can start a potentially life-saving conversation
Note From the Editor.
However, I have to agree to disagree, I suffer from Mental Health Issues and on my last PIP assessment I was asked that very question, have I had suicidal thoughts.
Firstly I would not admit to anyone if I had them or not.
Secondly if I did not have those thoughts I basically was given a loaded gun because if I was not thinking about it before, I most certainly was thinking it now and had a seed planted in my head, which I could have easily gone through with it had I have been in that state of mind.
“The difference is I do have everything to live for and can teach people including institutions asking someone directly if they are feeling suicidal can go one of two ways and one has to tread carefully”.
“One needs to be subtle and not cause a person to immediately go on the defense and on guard. No one will admit they feel suicidal especially to a stranger unless they actively are looking to get help and are prepared to get the support they need”.
For me personally, this crossed my mind on the odd occasion, but I was not telling a PIP assessor who I did not know and besides my own personal story is complex, it is not one incident but many incidents with many people’s/entities actions that I can blame over many years that have caused me to feel depressed”.
“As I walked away with a loaded gun that the PIP Assessor had metaphorically given and had I not found the strength to over-ride my thoughts I very much doubt you would be reading my story today”.
I have since learned that one can over-ride one’s thoughts with neuroscience which I am actively researching. I hope to publish my findings in the near future.
What assessors should ask instead is:
Have you been feeling low?
Do you feel you can talk to someone?
How often do you feel low?
Do you have friends or family you can talk to?
Do you feel hopeless?
Do you feel worthless?
Do you feel the world is against you?
Do you know of any support networks you can reach out to?
Do you turn to alcohol or recreational drugs to surpress your thoughts?
Do you feel your thoughts are very intrusive?
Do you isolate yourself from society?
Can you cope with life?
Do you have any hobbies?
Do you feel proud of yourself?
Has anyone tried to hurt you physically or mentally?
World Health Organisation:
According to “WHO” Nearly 800,000 people die by suicide in the world each year, which is roughly one death every 40 seconds.
Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-24 years.
Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.
When someone you know looks or behaves not their usual self, ask them if they are ok and that they can talk to you whenever they want with no pressure. Always be kind to people as you do not know what they are going through or feeling.
Never be judgemental or dictate to them what they should or should not do. Everyone has the ability to make their own decisions for their own reasons. If you have an opinion tell it once, it is up to the person to listen, continue bombarding the person with your opinions will eventually make the person withdraw from you. If people do not want to listen or take on board your advice do not force it on them.
If you say you are going to phone someone, stick to it, and never give empty promises as that person could just be waiting for you (CD) as there are consequences to our actions.
Do not be that family member that only reaches out once a year at Christmas. Phone the person regularly throughout the year. Get the distant relative involved in your life, do not disregard them like leftover meat. Phone them if they are not inclined to meet with you.
People battle demons in their heads and it is only right for you as a decent human being to be there for the person that may be going through worse ordeals than yourself.
If you are a good person you will spread awareness that people do not have to go through things alone, share your story so that people can relate to you.
If you do not have a job and no one wants to employ you, then create a job and be your own boss. I can motivate and inspire anyone.
Nothing is so bad that you cannot overcome the problem(s) you are faced with, believe me, I know, I have been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. In fact, it did cross my mind on the odd occasion but found a way to get through it. Besides, I have a family and a business I am grateful for having a roof over my head and food to eat. Find the things you are grateful for and think there is always someone worse off than you. Where there is a will there is a way. Obstacles are there so that we can learn how to overcome them. Life is a lesson to be learned.
So if I can survive with everything I have gone through over the years, so can you.
Suicide is so very final and there is no guarantee what you will be faced with on the other side. It could be as some believe that people who commit suicide go straight to hell and some countries do not give people proper burials just dump their bodies in mass graves. It’s ironic that the actor who played the character Chris Nielsen (Robin Williams) “What Dreams May Come” in a film about suicide, committed suicide. Even famous people have demons and get depressed. (Rich and Depressed).
I have been pushed to my limits many times including when I lost both my parents and my brother but I have also had to deal with domestic violence not to mention losing someone I loved. This is part of the grieving process.
There will always be people who will try to be judgemental and will think they are better than you. Let it all go over your head, no one on this planet is better than you. Just because they may be more educated, have social status, or are some sort of institution or royalty, behind every company, there is a human being doing exactly the same as you, eating, sleeping, and surviving.
Anyone who is reading this and simply wants to talk can set up an anonymous Gmail account and message me using the form below.
“Nothing is unbearable that cannot be conquered”.
For me how I deal with depression other than doing research I use this site to write my mental health problems as an online digital journal specifically designed to help myself and others like me.
“I can lend an ear and point you in the right direction, you do not have to give your real nameand everything you say will be kept confidential”.
**Please note: messages are answered within 24 hours.
However, you can chat with me using the chatbox, Open Monday to Friday Business Hours.
If you want to speak with someone outside of these hours I recommend getting in touch with the Samaritans.
“If you want to write your own story I can create your own page and together we can inspire more people”.
In light of the young woman “Gabby Petito” who was murdered in Florida most recently, the story has hit home and has opened up so many bad memories for me.
At the time of this article, being published there is a manhunt going on for her fiance “Brian Laundrie”.
Watching the video of the patrol officers when both the young woman and her fiance were first pulled over, I could relate to some of what was happening at the time.
Gabby was being very overprotective, not only for herself, but she also did not want Brian to get into trouble so she took the blame. She wanted to defuse the situation so that her partner would not be angrier once the authorities had gone.
She also blamed her OCD. (Yes I can relate to this also however if I was talking to someone to get them off my back I would use the OCD excuse).
By coincidence, I suffer from OCD and I know how frustrating this is to someone who does not suffer from it.
I used to be called “CRAZY” by someone I thought I trusted, even as I speak to today there is a stigma attached to people with mental health issues. I was told multiple times by the person who tried to control me that I needed to be locked up in a lunatic asylum. This could have been a trigger to start an argument for Gabby and Brian, as my OCD got me into a lot of arguments myself.
So it is no surprise that a recent conversation I had with someone I have known for 40 years who learned I had OCD never bothered to ring me back after he said he would.
The problem is I do not give people second chances anymore, I used to, but my mindset has changed. If someone does me wrong that is it, I will not have anything more to do with them.
If people assume that disabilities especially mental health ones are labeled as “crazy”, I have news for you being anxious, depressed, and having panic attacks are also mental health issues, so we all have an element of craziness in us.
For me at the time of my physical and mental abuse, I had lost my brother to a drowning accident and felt my life was falling apart. I believed that the person I had turned to for solace, whom I trusted would protect me from harm ended up the person who nearly cost my life.
When I first met my ex-partner in 2009 I should have gone with my gut feeling as I did not like him at first. I remembered my brother’s words shortly before his passing that I should start dating. I had been divorced for nine years and did not need anyone in my life up until that point when my parents passed away and then my brother.
My ex had heard I had come into a large inheritance and my naivety prevailed as I thought he was in pursuit of me, not my money (I was very naive and stupid), so in January 2010 we started dating.
Everything seemed fine until I heard in February 2010 my brother was involved in a freak accident in Ecuador where he sadly lost his life.
I needed my ex more than ever to help me stay sane. I did start to have feelings for him (I cared for him but was not in love, more like lust) and found when he started to show his true colours approximately four months later after my brother had passed away, whilst we were visiting my family in Poland for a wedding, I should have seen all the warning signs with his vulgarity and disrespect to me and left him there and then, but I didn’t.
On the way back to the UK he was just rude and vulgar but not physically abusive. It would be approximately a year later that he physically attacked me.
This is when my whole world turned truly upside down. I felt I was in the middle of the eye of a tornado where not only did he physically assault me, I then had the authorities putting pressure on me to have him charged. I felt my whole world falling apart and I could not cope with the anguish and the stress.
Similar to what this young woman was going through in the video I tried to defend him and say it was my fault that things got out of hand, so as not to cause further anger or cause a rift between us.
I believed then (not now), that people are not born evil and thought once the dust settled I could reason with him and get him the help and therapy he needed without getting him into trouble with the authorities. That was a stupid naive mistake I made as one can inherit narcissistic traits.
“You cannot change a person that does not want to change”.
This did not turn out well or go in my favour when I refused to press charges. I then became a target and was treated like a criminal for harbouring a would-be criminal in the eyes of the law and the authorities turned against me and threatened to take away my child.
I was in the middle of a storm and had no one to turn to. I did not trust anyone and I felt very alone. I was scared how would I cope with being on my own even though it did not dawn on me I was actually alone for nine years prior to meeting my ex, so why did being alone actually matter?
I was obviously not thinking straight. Just like “Gabby” I was afraid to lose the person I hoped to settle down with. It did not matter how many people advised me or how many people tried to keep us apart I had one goal and that was to make amends and start over, forgive and forget.
Needless to say, my ex did get charged by the Police and ended up going on remand for a week in jail but because I refused to give evidence the charges got dropped for lack of them.
I was now an enemy of the state.
Had the Police not got involved in the first place there could have been a totally different outcome and I could have easily been maimed for life or ended up dead. However, after he was released from custody his behaviour only got worse over time.
I was advised to move or go to a women’s shelter which I point blank refused. I thought why should I go on the run, move home and my business because of him. I had a woman’s shelter person insist on making them my friend and again, I did not want anything to do with strangers I just wanted to sort out the mess all by myself.
I ended with a police marker on my property and that if I was ever to call the Police or anyone else called the police, they would have blue lights blazing or so I thought.
It was hard to gain my ex’s trust after that and his anger only festered even more as he blamed me for getting the police involved even though he drew the first sword so to speak. He was in complete denial that he had done anything wrong.
From then on I was the target of verbal abuse on a constant basis and he was careful most of the time that there were no witnesses to his behaviour especially my daughter who he did not trust either as both my daughter and I were two peas from the same pod. However, there were a couple of occasions once on a busy high street where I was walking back from a Garage whilst my daughter was in school where he poured a can of beer over my head on busy high street causing the hairdressers to run out of the shop to comfort me and another time in Poland where he punched me whilst he was driving the car with his elderly aunt in the back. Other than that he did everything when there was no one around.
There were a lot of incidents that stuck in my mind and as I write this article I am still not ready to tell the world what exactly happened and what he did to me.
It is still very mentally painful for me to recall everything and I have tried to suppress my mental wounds and memories knowing in time I will heal. I hope one day to tell my story to help women just like Gabby.
It is more common than people think especially in Poland as an example and by coincidence another wife-beater whose wife I happened to help about two and half years ago in a similar situation to mine only messaged me the other day to help him.
These men are delusional and considering he knows my ex-partner and what he did to me as he listened to the audio recordings I have, you would think considering he too was in a similar situation not so long ago himself, he would not be so naive to think I would help him.
Polish people stick together in communities especially in a foreign land and because English is my native tongue but I am bi-lingual that is why Poles come to me for help.
I told him I was busy for the next few months with work and told him to contact someone else. I have no intention of helping someone that beats women one day and acts like nothing happened the next.
I know none of what has happened to me was my fault. It was my ex’s insecurities that made him the way he was, not to mention that it is part of the culture in rural areas of Poland where the men go to work grafting in fields all day whilst the women are supposed to keep a tidy home, have their dinners ready and oblige to every whim.
Furthermore, the abuse is passed from generation to generation especially considering that some men drink excessively to the point they are paralytic and that is when the demons come out. Although my ex was very much sober when he was physically and mentally abusive towards me and was more subdued when he was drunk, these are the characteristics of a narcissist, a dangerous, psychotic person.
Looking back at my ex, his mother admitted she was physically and mentally abusive to her crippled wheelchair-bound husband when my ex was a toddler. So from a young age growing up, he started to have a hatred towards women and I witnessed how he pushed his elderly mother’s frail body nearly causing her to fall. I also heard his vulgarity towards his own mother who walked out of the room so as not to show him that his words hurt her and that she was crying. He never apologized when she returned just stared at her giving her dirty looks.
The last straw that broke the camel’s back for me was when I decided to put a stop to his abuse once and for all. He dislocated my knee and that was it there was no turning back. I had already collected enough evidence previously and had started to hate him (there is a thin line between love and hate). Any feelings I had for him had long gone.
I then came up with a plan, I could see that he was getting, even more, angrier with me and that there was no reasoning with him so I started to collect evidence and recorded him secretly.
Over time I managed to collect enough evidence that he would be facing jail for a very long time and with this evidence which I presented to him I gave him an ultimatum to leave me alone once and for all and to payback for all the damages otherwise, I would go to the Police. I made multiple copies of the evidence I had and told him should anything ever happen to my daughter or me, the police would go looking for him.
He knows that if he fails to pay me for everything he has broken or tries to come near me he will have the Police knocking on his door.
Yes he caused me harm and I do have memories but I can safely say I was lucky to have got away from him for good.
I have blocked him on all social media and unfriended all his friends, family, and associates. The less he knows about me the better.
Am I still concerned he may carry out his threats, perhaps if I provoked him, that is why I remain to stay civil until I am ready to disassociate myself for good?
Moving is my final goal. My businesses are online with no physical addresses so I have no worries there. There will be a time when I sever all ties with him when I am good and ready.
My circumstances and the threats he made I will not divulge until I am ready to tell the world, hence I have CCTV outside my property, had the locks changed, and am very vigilant.
I do not go out because of my mental and physical health which some of it was caused by my ex.
Recovery.
I have a long road to recovery and where someone asked me the other day am I in a relationship, even though I had told this person previously many months prior about my ex, this individual was oblivious to the fact that my ex has caused considerable mental and physical damage, so why on God’s earth would I ever want to get involved with anyone ever again?
I have in my lifetime witnessed my father slap my mother, my cousin being dragged by her hair by her husband. Have had my own personal experiences and have had been made aware of domestic violence in the Polish Community in the City I live in.
Abuse majority of the time is behind closed doors. People are either too afraid to get help, are too embarrassed, or simply do not know how to end the nightmare they live in.
Some people believe they can change a person (I was one of them), but in reality, you cannot change a person unless they are willing to accept your help and are willing to change.
Sometimes an assault can happen when you least expect it.
If you are in imminent danger try to get away. Sometimes talking calmly and showing you are not afraid can help to defuse the situation and then when you are confident you can leave without getting harmed leave at the first opportunity.
If you are in a situation where this happens often and you have not found the courage to leave or report the crime, secretly record the abusive behaviour. You do not have to have catalouges of episodes, one incident is enough, and then make a secret plan on the first opportunity to leave and not return. Try to have an escape plan. (In my case he was a visitor in my home so it was hard to get him to leave).
I actually did reach out to my dead brother’s girlfriend to hide and she turned her back on me.
Things you should.
At the first opportunity go to the police, especailly if you have children or are in imminent danger.
Prior to fleeing delete all of the abusers friends, family and associates off all social media accounts and block them. (Tell your partner your account was taken down by social media for sharing something that goes against their policies, not that you closed it as that will make the abuser angry).
Give all the people you know nicknames and change their real names to the nicknames on your phone should the abuser insist on going through your phone to see who you phoned last or who had phoned you.
Change your passwords on everything.
Arrange to stay with someone that is not the obvious person on the list your abuser will go and visit.
Let all the people you know in your network, your friends, family they have nicknames and that if they get an unknown call from the abuser to not identify themselves. The only risk is ther abuser may recognise their voice.
Save some money put a few pounds/dollars aside each week so that when you are ready to flee you are able to do so without any monetary difficulty.
Keep all your important documents together, passport, driving licence etc so that you have no worries they will get destroyed by the abuser and you have them to hand in an emergency.
Have a bag packed ready to go. (Make sure your abuser does not clock on what you are up to. Do not make it a suitcase more a like a large handbag, small holdall or backpack)
Be careful who you talk to and trust.
Cover your tracks.
Invest in another phone with another number so that if your abuser uses his acquaintances to phone you it will be more difficult to track you down.
Keep your accounts private on social media and do not accept anyone you do not know as a connection, as your abuser could easily set up a fake account just to trap you or get an unknown friend to spy on you.
Do not be ashamed of your situation, many women and men are going through domestic violent relationships right now as we speak. Tell your neighbours to be aware of loud noises or raised voices.
Do not try to fight or retaliate in a volitile situation, instead try to stay calm and quiet to try and defuse the situation and once the coast is clear and the situation has calmed down make an excuse that you will go up the road to buy a bottle of wine or some beer giving you the opportunity to leave in a safe manner. Say it is a peace offering to start over. Do not try sneaking out as that will relight a smouldering flame.
They say an apple does not fall far from the tree and knowing I had a police marker on my property when a boy threatened my daughter a couple of years later I phoned the police. After 10 minutes of no sounds of sirens in the far distance and no police to my daughter’s rescue, I phoned again and the operator turned around and I quote “we are sitting at the end of your street waiting for you to phone us”. Imagine the seriousness of the call every second mattered so if my daughter and I were in imminent danger I do not believe the police would be in any hurry blasting their sirens to rescue us. Like I said before, I think I am now an enemy of the state because I did not press charges.
Going back to “Brain Laundrie”, this is only my opinion, he is most probably very scared and insecure and I believe and this is something my ex’s mother said to me all those years ago, if I were to press charges and, my ex was going to face jail, he would most probably kill himself and she would blame me. It is a vicious circle that I believe started with her narcissism towards her husband in front of her child who turned out to be a narcissist.
As for the whole “Brian Laundrie” case, I am sitting on the fence just like the rest of the world but if my child had killed their partner or was in serious trouble with the authorities I would try to persuade them to turn themselves in. I certainly would not go on a camping trip as a family and I would try and give all my support to the person’s family of the child that was murdered. There are too many unanswered questions and I do hope they find Brian alive so that this can bring closure to Gabby’s family.
What is the worst that can happen for Brian apart from the freeboard and lodgings he will indefinitely have if he is sent to jail if it was accidental or manslaughter? If on the other hand, it was first-degree murder then that constitutes the death penalty in Florida, but even then I would try to rehabilitate myself and help mentor other people with narcissistic problems before I met my maker.
There is a lot of outcry because of so many other missing persons in the USA and the rest of the world but the focus is on one person to be found preferably alive to be made an example of.
The way I see it, Gabby would not have died in vain and instead become a symbol and sacrifice for women all over the world to get out of abusive relationships before they meet the same fate as Gabby.
Gabby should be made a Saint by the Vatican.
More needs to be done to spread awareness of the dangers of abusive relationships.
“My condolences to Gabby’s family and thoughts and prayers at this most difficult time”.
Mr. Tibbles The Health Cat Reporter – Supporting Young Minds
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