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Category: Depression (Page 1 of 3)

Renata’s Online Journal 11/05/22

Keep your business moving forward

Renata’s Online Journal.

My Online Journal is my safe space where I can share my stories and vent. I do not always write negatively but of late I have noticed blue-chip corporations treating people badly so not only is this my online therapy it also is a voice for people who cannot or do not know how to stand up for themselves.

Dear Diary,

I have not made an entry here for a while and yesterday was the ideal time to do some journaling and spill the beans.

The morning started out with me phoning all my insurance providers as I had deleted some direct debits in error. I suffer from cognitive impairment caused by cerebellum atrophy and sometimes muddle my words up. The words can be very overwhelming for me at times. Being stressed does not help and where I should have canceled one insurance policy, I actually canceled three. As it turns out the other two direct debits were obsolete, but still having to phone all nine companies was challenging.

The other problem I have is dreading talking over the phone so when I tried to rectify the problem via email I was point-blank declined and was told to call. The calling is not so bad but it listening to the prompts Press #1 for what you had for breakfast Press #2 what you had for lunch and #Press #3 just to annoy you more (just kidding) although I have been subjected to up to 4 minutes of this from various companies before the annoying music starts playing. God forbid if your call drops and you have to start all the BS all over again.

Insurers do not make it easy, so although you may take out insurance by a said insurer the underwriters a separate company collect payment. So there could be the same underwriter for multiple insurers which can make it difficult when trying to find out who is who. I have done a spreadsheet so that I do not get caught out again, but by the 9th insurer I had enough, yet my day was only starting.

I then got an email from British Gas that they needed me to phone them to set up a direct debit. I have anxiety about talking over the phone to people. The term used is Telephobia, but I bit the bullet and phoned them. I got to speak to someone who at first came across as slightly condescending when she thought I was unemployed with mental disabilities, (people confuse mental disabilities with stupidity on the contrary Albert Einstien, Nikola Tesla, and Charles Darwin to name a few all had mental disabilities (OCD – Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) ) so it was a shock to her when I mentioned this site. She then changed her tune and was more understanding and helpful going as far as giving me some links and recommending that I contact some of the links she had provided.

What rattled me was, that I was paying £65 at the beginning of the year then it went up to £90, and yesterday she wanted £138 per month. I was told I use more gas than the average household. The way I see it regardless if I did not use any gas at all, I still would have to pay for the service. I am not going to reduce the quality of my life and sit at home freezing cold. or only cook once a week. If a person is struggling to pay £90 then how the hell are they supposed to find the money to pay £138?

A little bit of maths and common sense would not go a miss.

“What are people supposed to do, do they have to rob banks or starve”?

Our PM is allegedly dragging his heels at helping the UK with the rise in the cost of living yet he is quick to give support to Sweden and Finland. Yet coming from a privedged upbringing he has never had any worries about where his next paycheck is going to come from or about putting food on the table. Living in a home that was decorated from private donations and wallpaper at £840 per roll he will never understand how the other half lives. His wallpaper is ugly just saying and I would not pay £1 per roll let alone £840.

https://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/politics/boris-johnson-wallpaper-flat-refurb-b1850209.html

Someone on LinkedIn commented “that charity starts a home”, but what she failed to comprehend was the support in the event of a military attack on these countries will be money in BJs / Chancellor of the Exchequers Pockets so to speak. W#ar is big business at the expense of the people. How do you accumulate wealth if you do not lend money or charge interest on the money you lend out? This is how the money system works. If you lone out jets, sell ballistic and nuclear missiles you have to get paid and its one big game of the winner takes it all.

I do not support the funding of the lavish lifestyles of the 1% that think they own us and rob us blind. I never agreed to slaving away, did you?

No one owns me. I have a voice and I am not afraid to use it!

I am a spiritual being in a physical body and we are here for a reason and it is to teach others, empower and motivate and not steal, abuse, or kill, we are supposed to be intelligent human beings, not animals.

We should be able to distinguish right from wrong and if the likes of P#tin who orders the mass killings then he is no better than something that has just crawled out of a sewer. These people are vermin.

In fact, any person in power that has done wrong should be punished the same way as a member of public and should also be kicked out of office, I refer to certain politicians, that got a slap on the wrist and fines, for their publicised antics.

There is a Scottish MP trending at the moment that allegedly had £25 Million in Funding For PPE that supposedly ended up being used due to it not being of high quality and was returned. This MP is now being investigated.

Just imagine if this was the average entrepreneur that had done this, they would be facing a custodial sentence for fraud, but I guess if you own 6 houses (one in Belgravia in London) you have enough money to pay for a jail-free card on the monopoly board.

I spoke about a previous post about why people do not care and the customer representative said that people do care and that she cared (no they don’t unless it directly affects them). She then asked could she help me with anything else and I said “help me bring in more clients”, the call then ended without any feedback on my remark…I rest my case!

Reference the money she expected me to agree to I said I will pay, but will not be able to eat and the CEO of British Gas will certainly not have a problem bringing food to the table whilst I will and this is where she started to be sympathetic.

Frustration

I got my frustration out, if nothing else, and told her she was professional and had a calming voice, I just did not mention the fact she made me feel bad at the beginning of the conversation as what would have been the point. I felt had I not mentioned I am self-employed the conversation would have been slightly different.

If you have watched the video “The Hidden Secrets Of Money” By Mike Maloney”, you will start to realize this is one big game of monopoly with the Blue Chip Companies at the top of the food chain STEALING our prosperity.

“The is a Great Reset Looming on the Horizon”.

Do you think it is by chance this P#tin W#ar has broken out or is it something to do with the deficit spending and all the price rises? Have you forgotten about Brexit and how much money UK is in debt by and how much money they have to pay back, never mind the trade w#ar in China and the USA. Putting the jigsaw pieces together can you not see a picture emerging?

These blue-chip companies get a 6% commission for our sweat, labor, and hardship. Do you think that the dictator started the w#ar himself or was it pre-arranged at the round table, by a selected few?

People at the top of the food chain seem to think they own and control you and in a way they do.

An example of a battery in the matrix was Virgin Media which I have for months had an ongoing dispute again I have communicated by email and have told them not to phone me and what do they do? they only phone even though I specifically requested not to. What was interesting though my phone was on “do not disturb” but they managed to get through and the phone rang. I re-iterated how much emotional distress they put me through and I am still no closer to a resolution as the email I was promised I would have, never materialized.

So you can imagine the poor sod on the other end of the line receiving my wrath and me saying “if you read my email do you not understand English”, his reply was he was ordered by someone above him to phone me and my final reply was that he obviously did not have the balls to stand up to the person. Most people are afraid of speaking up in the workplace for the fear of being fired. People go to work like sheep to get their paychecks the majority do not go to work because they love the company that employs them they are solely there to do a job and get paid. They are human robots being told what to do. Their “VOICE” in the metaphorical sense of the word is taken away, they are slaves to the employer for the hours they work.

Anxiety & Panic Attack.

The day continued with my brother telling me that he is coming over to the UK at Christmas. Under normal circumstances, I should be ecstatic but I am having a panic attack simply thinking about it.

I have not left my home for three years due to social disconnection and OCD, actually, tell a lie I went out once to meet him last year for the day and I felt so ill after that but he was oblivious to my disability. He told me that I have to arrange my schedule and my work around him. He told me we will be talking this weekend coming.

Notice how my disability and my work are of no significance to him and I have to just get over myself.

The icing on the cake was the final straw that broke the camel’s back so to speak with my neighbor announcing she is moving within the month. she without a doubt had to be the nicest neighbor I have ever had, she was always kind, and caring and never did me wrong. I will miss her.

I do believe nothing standstills and when one door closes another one opens so although I felt very depressed yesterday with low self-esteem. That was yesterday though and your mood can change if you stay occupied and not dwell on what is bothering you. I am hopeful about tomorrow and about brighter things to come. I am fortunate I have an online journal to vent my anger which I can share with whoever wants to read my challenges. I did come across a website called (www.storiboard.co.uk) not mine may I add but a portal to share your stories.

Telling Your Story.

Anyone reading this who wants a platform to share their stories is more than welcome to subscribe here and I will make you a contributor or will manually upload your stories for you. It won’t cost you a penny only your time, it is completely free.

Domestic Violence.

I have gone through a lot over the last two decades (I won’t go into it all here but I am a ‘survivor of domestic violence‘ and and this is what drives me to tell my story) I won’t say I am strong all the time. I have good days and bad days and yesterday was a bad day for me but I know I will get over it. I am still standing and I won’t let anyone break me, sure they can try but when they knock me down and I get back up again so help me God.

I will be writing my biography soon and I will be calling out all the people that have done me wrong. Don’t misunderstand me, I am not awkward or vengeful, I just think some people deserve their five minutes of fame.

Superiority.

No one on this planet is better than you, we all do the same things, we eat, sleep and go to the bathroom, and we all cannot survive without water or air. We all have red blood and if Adam and Eve were the first people, then their children would have been inbred so we are all brothers and sisters. The world is an evil place with evil people living in it trying to suck the last ounce of happiness out of you. They should be very worried about what happens to them after they die. Just because some use 24kt Gold WCs does not make them any better than you. We all have the right to live on this planet in harmony and without having to worry about where the next paycheck is going to come from and if we can put food on the table. No one should fear for their lives or be killed for some political agenda. No one should lose their life for the sake of debt ceilings and deficit spending.

“The Hidden Secrets of Money” By Mile Maloney.

Invisible Disability.

I have an invisible disability and I expect to be acknowledged as a human being and not be judged, I expect people to give me the respect I deserve. I do not need anyone giving me advice, or being patronizing, after all when it comes to mental health I specialize in the subject hence why I built this site.

Never assume anything with me without asking me first.

I know if my finances improved so would my mental health. My cerebellum atrophy is incurable but with new drugs coming on the market anything is possible. I am staying positive and hopefully, someone reading this will invest in me.

One day soon you will learn what one particular “evil animal” did to me and how I am recovering.

I have audio recordings of all the death threats he made to me.

He is no longer residing in the UK, he left last December for Germany however within a month of him starting work he was fired due to an altercation with a woman at his place of work, why does that not surprise me.

Unfortunately, because he does not speak fluent English he was unable to set up an email address so I did it for him and forwarded all his emails to me for translation purposes with his consent, however, I have no access to his settings anymore, and cannot un-forward myself hence I get his emails and all the antics he is getting up to.

I use outlook and have blocked his email but people sending emails to him still come into my inbox. I have started marking them as spam as I have no other way of stopping any communication.

Remember not all that glitters is gold and that was my mistake and I have learned the hard way.

One day I will rise from the ashes and tell my full story.

Staying Positive.

Tomorrow is another day and I aim for a brighter future!

If you found this article insightful, please take a moment to share, comment, and subscribe. Also before you go, please also consider donating the equivalent of a cup of coffee to help keep this “Disability UK” Online Journal going.

#anxiety #stress #depression #lowselfesteem #mentalhealth #mentalhealthdisabilities #Centrica #JanaSiber

Blue Butterfly
Keep your business moving forward

Memory Water & Eliminating Stress.

Keep your business moving forward

Memory Water & Eliminating Stress

I have recently come across a scientific fact that water holds memory and through the power of sound and vibration can change its molecules. This is particularly interesting seeing we are made up of 60% water. So imagine the effects it would have on us if you took the water that we manipulated.

Eliminating Stress with Water memory has the purported ability of water to retain a memory of substances previously dissolved in it even after an arbitrary number of serial dilutions. It has been claimed to be a mechanism by which homeopathic remedies work, even when they are diluted to the point that no molecule of the original substance remains, but has no scientific proof. In fact in the video below a group of people were actually poisoned by water that after testing did not have anything wrong with it.

Water memory contradicts the current scientific understanding of physical chemistry. In 1988, Jacques Benveniste published a study supporting a water memory effect amid controversy in Nature, accompanied by an editorial by Nature’s editor John Maddox urging readers to “suspend judgment” until the results could be replicated.

In the years after publication, multiple supervised experiments were made by Benveniste’s team, the United States Department of Defense, BBC’s Horizon program, and other researchers.

Stress:

My method of reducing stress other than breathing is hypnosis and my latest find is water memory. I am not a scientific whizz kid I am just someone that suffers from depression and stress and looks at different ways to manage it.

What I have learned is that water reacts to sound and vibration and when you talk to water it memorizes the vibrations from the sounds you make from the words you say. So if you recite positive words and then drink the water you are essentially fuelling the positive vibrations back into your body. It seems to work for me. I feel less anxious when I drink my water.

Konstantin Korotkov, a Russian scientist, who has conducted many experiments involving the energetic emissions of organisms, found that the movement of water helped to structure the molecules. https://medium.com/adhocra/water-has-memory-science-shows-d8d5537566be

However, you should refrain from drinking tap water which has gone through many pipes and chemicals to get to us. So even though these potentially dangerous contaminants are removed, the water still remains, with electrical “imprints” of bad things that were in the water in the beginning.

We should therefore drink pure water from the mountains. I personally drink Evian. I am not affiliated with this company it is just my own personal preference and I am sure any mineral water will do and any brand.

I am not sure if distilled water or boiled and cooled down water would have the same effect but I want quick results rather than to experiment. I certainly do not and will not drink water that has gone through our pipes especially seeing it is full of chlorine and fluoride, no matter how safe they say it is.

It is up to you to do the research. I am just writing what seems to work for me. Obviously, I still have a lot of reading to do but I find that if it was not true people would not be talking about it or studying it.

I prefer to get facts from science and have yet to do the (3 x jar experiment) 1 x love jar, 1 x ignore jar, 1 x hate jar with rice for 30 days. (Videos below of people’s own experiences).

Masaru Emoto was a Japanese businessman, author, and pseudo-scientist who claimed that human consciousness could affect the molecular structure of water. I have added a video below. His 2004 book can be founded on Amazon. The Hidden Messages in Water was a New York Times bestseller.

Considering we are made up of water in fact 60% of the human adult body is water. According to H.H. Mitchell, Journal of Biological Chemistry 158, the brain and heart are composed of 73% water, and the lungs are about 83% water, it makes sense that we need water to survive. The skin contains 64% water, muscles and kidneys are 79%, and even the bones are watery: 31%. So it stands to reason if we drink water and we absorb water through our skin then what we drink has an effect on us. We can survive without food but we cannot survive without water.

Facts About Water:

Water serves a number of essential functions to keep us all going

  • A vital nutrient to the life of every cell, acts first as a building material.
  • It regulates our internal body temperature by sweating and respiration
  • The carbohydrates and proteins that our bodies use as food are metabolized and transported by water in the bloodstream;
  • It assists in flushing waste mainly through urination
  • Acts as a shock absorber for brain, spinal cord, and fetus
  • Forms saliva
  • Lubricates joints
  • Babies and kids have more water (as a percentage) than adults.
  • Women have less water than men (as a percentage).
  • People with more fatty tissue have less water than people with less fatty tissue (as a percentage).

https://www.usgs.gov/special-topics/water-science-school/science/water-you-water-and-human-body

Emoto said that water was a “blueprint for our reality” and that emotional “energies” and “vibrations” could change its physical structure.

His water crystal experiments consisted of exposing water in glasses to various words, pictures, or music, then freezing it and examining the ice crystals’ aesthetic properties with microscopic photography.

He claimed that water exposed to positive speech and thoughts created visually “pleasing” ice crystals, and that negative intentions yielded “ugly” ice formations. Before knocking it at least try and see for yourself.

Emoto held that different water sources produced different ice structures. For example, he held that water from a mountain stream, when frozen, showed structures of beautifully-shaped geometric designs; but that water from polluted sources created distorted, randomly formed ice structures. He held that these changes could be eliminated by exposing water to ultraviolet light or certain electromagnetic waves.

Reducing Stress & Breathing Techniques:

https://hbr.org/2020/09/research-why-breathing-is-so-effective-at-reducing-stress?utm_campaign=hbr&utm_medium=social&utm_source=linkedinnewsletter&tpcc=linkedinnewsletter

Further Reading

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Water_memory

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/17678810/

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Masaru_Emoto

“Power of Water -Jake Ducey”
“Poisoning By H2O”.
“Water Molecules”.
“Masaru Emoto”.
“The Magical Properties of Water – Water is a Liquid Computer”.

Final Thoughts From The Editor.

I will continue to do my research but placebo effect or not the water that I manipulate seems to help my mental well-being much better than the medication I take. I am not claiming miracles it is my own personal observation that I note seems to work for me.

I will publish my finding on the 3 jar experiment as soon as I am able to do it and it will be an update within this post.

Keep your business moving forward

#memorywater #watermemory #waterexperiment #dremoto #masaruemoto #JacquesBenveniste

Domestic Violence Survivor – The Anonymous Writer.

I have removed the original photo as I am afraid of the repercussions.

Surviving Domestic Violence – The Anonymous Writer.

Disclaimer – Warning – Trigger Warning – Sensitive Material.

My Online Journal: First and foremost I would like to explain I am a writer, I want to stay anonymous for now as I am not ready to share my identity to the world to know. Not many people know the full extent of what my ex did to me and my story is way overdue. I have learned one valuable lesson, not all that glitters is gold, (a handsome attractive man, maybe a devil in disguise). This is about a narcissist that physically and mentally abused me. I do not want to be known as the victim but more so as the survivor. The reason why I am sharing this story is so that people understand what hell I have gone through and how I am recovering and how I learned to go into survival mode. I also want to share how it has affected me and how I am rebuilding my life. Surviving for me was to always try and leave whenever possible even though it was my home I was fleeing from or if I was trapped not to antagonize him. I would not look at him or make eye contact and would be very quiet and subdued. I would try and protect my electronics as much as possible but not always successfully. I believed in his threats and still do, hence I want to move where he can never find me and live my life again with new happier beginnings and before anyone says why don’t I? Well you need to be able to afford to move before you put the plan into action.

My story starts just over 12 years ago. In that decade prior to the 12 years both my parents had died followed then by my brother in a drowning accident.

I remember my brother prior to going to Ecuador to help save the rain forest, his words still echo “that I should find someone to share my life with”.

My parents had died and I was raising my daughter by myself I felt vulnerable and sad. I had divorced and it was not pretty.

Then out of the blue came a stranger into my life, he was from my parent’s neck of the woods and I thought, what have I got to lose if I started dating again?

At first, everything was exciting you could call it the honeymoon period but then tragedy struck and my brother died. I now needed someone to comfort and console me and I felt very alone so this person that I hardly knew became a person that could distract me from the sadness and emptiness I was feeling.

My mental state at the time was not good and I was not focused, I was very vulnerable and scared of being alone.

This friend of a friend was aware I had inherited some money and that over the months that followed he took advantage of this.

Some women will do a lot for their partners in exchange for affection.

This was my naivety and stupidity, I believed he cared. I was not bothered about what job he had or that he did not have a car I just saw another human being, showing some affection. I believed he would never hurt me. I trusted him…

Obviously, it was not long, before I started to tighten my purse strings after one of his family members pointed out that the amount of money I was spending I was in a sense trying to buy love and affection and that is when it hit home and I thought this person could be well and truly right.

As I started to be wiser with my money that was when the trouble started to happen. My abuser was more and more verbal to me he would say the cruelest and nastiest things, he would humiliate me and belittle me and when this was no longer working he decided to become very physically abusive towards me.

He liked punching me in my face and top of my head (soft spot –Anterior Fontanelle. The position of this largest soft spot can be easily seen on a newborn; in adults, the location of the now-fused fontanelle is at the junction of the frontal, coronal, and sagittal sutures of the skull ) to punching and kicking my torso eventually dislocating my knee and he would spit better than any lama.

I believe my cerebellar atrophy is the consequence of his actions due to the head trauma I endured”.

He once snapped my one laptop in two although replaced it, followed by another episode pouring water on another one and consequently putting me out of business for 28 weeks (I lost clients because of him due to a damaged hard drive and dislocation of my knee, where he kicked 7 times before it popped and I was immobile).

He was very intimidating and menacing and as much as I tried to get rid of him and get him out of my life completely he would threaten me that a lot worse would happen to me if I did not go at Christmas to Poland with him, each and every year. He threatened me multiple times and I even have multiple audio recordings of him threatening to kill me.

Don’t get me wrong his family was accomodating, lovely and very loving yet he was the complete opposite, the black sheep.

I do not regret meeting his family even though I did eventually sever my ties with them all after he agreed to leave me alone and pay me back for all the damage he had done, because I wanted no more to do with this demonic person and if that meant not speaking to his family and friends, then that is what I had to do.

I wanted him to know as little about me as possible.

This carried on for years and he made sure my daughter never saw what he did to me.

He was afraid after one particular incident where the Police were called and he was arrested, they wanted me to press charges but like a fool I refused.

My stupidity got the better of me (I thought I could reason with him and get the required help he needed. I believed I could change him and make him better. (You can never change a person that does not want to change) I learned that the hard way.

He started to make a habit of being physical towards me, it was as if he wanted to feel in control over me and that is when I said enough is enough and for him to leave me alone once and for all otherwise I would personally go to the Police, I tried to show I was no longer afraid of him and showed him all the evidence I collated on him. I arranged to meet him in a public place and gave him the document and played one specific audio compilation. I said should anything happen to me I have made copies of all the recordings and they are also in the cloud. He did not seem to comprehend what that meant, he did not understand what the cloud is.

I would end up writing an invoice/document with my evidence and asking him to pay me monthly for all the damages and loss of earnings due to his narcissistic behavior. He agreed to pay me £100 per month which he did until recently as the payments always went out on the 20th.

Then suddenly out of the blue last year, he messaged me that he was returning my car that he point blank refused to give back as he needed it for work.

His excuse finally for returning the car was that his driving license was no longer valid in the UK and he was not going to surrender his Polish License for a UK License, hence no insurance company would insure him.

(Yet today I drop caught an email from his car insurance provider saying the payment for £36 had also failed and they will attempt to retry in 10 days). Lie after lie after lie!

Again had I reported the car stolen when I wanted the car back, he said he needed it for work and he threatened as long he was in the UK he would make sure that if I ever called the Police on him he would come after me (Poles stick together and he knows some unsavory characters). I was afraid of what he may do so I never caused waves.

Not thinking much of it as he was paying me like clockwork, my daughter who agreed to be his translator for the Bank recently started getting notifications on her phone by SMS that his credit limit was bordering on an unarranged credit.

Both my daughter and I laughed and agreed he most probably bought a car and that his excuse to return my car was a complete and utter lie.

I believe he has bought a Nissan Micra as he has been buying parts and copies of his emails occasionally drop into my inbox (I set his inbox up many moons ago and forwarded a copy to my inbox to help with translation). At that time he did not have an email address or know how to use one, let alone set one up. I guess he still has not figured out how to stop any forwarding of emails.

Yesterday both my daughter and I were called by the Bank and although I did pick up the phone, because I heard a dog in the background I was reluctant to talk, which now I wish that I had. I was skeptical it was a legitimate call. The woman said she was phoning all the numbers on file from HSBC bank as they were trying to locate my ex.

Moving forward to today the regular monthly payment stopped out of the blue. I had a notification that the direct debit for the monthly repayment had failed. So I proceeded to phone my ex and his phone was turned off, I had no choice but and unblock him off Facebook to message him by messenger.

I did manage to get through to him but prior to this, I established that he had left his place of work in December and was no longer a tenant at the address I had for him. I spoke with the landlady who said he had told her he had moved to Holland.

He responded by saying if the bank were to contact me again that I should tell them that I do not know where he is, proceeded by love heart emojis (Delusional, he still thinks I will do him favors or that I am his friend).

However, I do not know where he is exactly (he is playing mind games) but I am in two minds to find out because he owes me £35K.

I have published the whole invoice and evidence just to show people what he did to me just in case he has tried to blacken my name.

With Artificial Intelligence Banks can find your location and Karma will pay him a visit or the bailiffs.

His mother once tried to defend him after I found out he had served time in prison, that her innocent child was not the instigator that put someone on a life support machine. I should have listened to the warning signs then.

This should be the end of the chapter for me but I am hesitant as I have always been afraid of him.

I should smear his name so that other women who foolishly may get involved with him think twice and maybe my post can help a woman thinking of getting involved with him not to get hurt, but that would no doubt come with consequences.

I suspect by his Facebook profile he is involved with someone and I do not want to stir the nest.

I pray for this woman that he treats her better than he ever treated me.

If I go to the Police now in the UK and he has fled the country there is little they can do.

I could get my solicitor in Poland to start legal proceedings to recover the money but do I need the hassle because this did not happen on Polish soil and I doubt I will have a leg to stand on?

He in all honesty has not got two pennies to rub together so what hope in hell will I ever have to get my money back unless I get the bailiffs to take his house off him… I know his mother has signed the house over to him (he is an only child).

Warning this PDF has sensitive material which can cause triggers and may be upsetting to some people.

INVOICE-ADDRESS-REDACTED-ANONYMOUS-WRITER

(The images in the PDF are old and my personal appearance has now changed, I have also redacted his name and address). This is just the tip of the iceberg because I have the audio recording and have to relive the nightmare in my head. I do try to block out the things he said and did to me which I did record. But I am still apprehensive knowing he could easily come after me if he wanted. Hence I want to move somewhere where he can never find me.

The Audio Recording Of The Threats.

I am having problems uploading the file, it could be because of security reasons, and because it has sensitive material it may be censored. I do however have about 50 of these recordings and there is one that has three recordings synced into one.

Guilt Trip.

He is claiming he is not in debt (delusional, as he owes me money, the bank, and the car insurance company for starters) and that I am making a mountain out of a molehill, so why did my £100 not go through and why is the Bank and Insurance Company chasing him?

Although I have published this article and in a way, I can now have a clean slate, he is still trying to push my buttons and as long as I do not know where he is I feel unsafe.

Until the Bank stops bombarding both my daughter and me over the debt he has accumulated, I cannot let this rest and if push comes to shove I will Name and Shame him for all the world to see.

I did try phoning the Bank and they told me to go into a branch and explain. I got my daughter to go in as I am very reluctant in venturing outside. I just have an overwhelming fear of being around people, I feel 100% safer in my home not that I can call it home but more so a place to crash.

Disclaimer:

I published his photo, but have since redacted it including his name and address for now, and will show the original document to the Bank to prove what he has done.

Aftermath Of His Narcissism.

I suffer from depression and anxiety, I lose my balance with my cognitive impairment due to my cerebellar atrophy, yet I still try to stay positive”.

The things he did to me:

  1. He sprayed chemicals into my eyes.
  2. He punched my soft spot (fontanelle)at the top of my head several times.
  3. He punched me multiple times in my face.
  4. He scrammed my face with the bristles of a broom claiming he would only be able to touch me with a broom because I was filth.
  5. He raped me (marital rape, I had no choice but to comply otherwise there would be consequences.
  6. He dislocated my knee (kicking it full force until it popped).
  7. He urinated over me and in my mouth (he said if I was to bite he would snap my neck). This has been particularly hard for me to share, because it was humiliating, and degrading. He would laugh as he was doing it, as I was trying not to swallow and the aftertaste was very bitter and rancid as I was spitting it out.
  8. He would spit at and on me (photo evidence in PDF).
  9. He tied a laptop cable around my neck and tried to hang me. (Photo evidence of marks around my neck). It was only because he heard some coming in through the front door that he untied me. I reckon a few minutes more and I would have been dead.
  10. He tried pushing me down the stairs. I grabbed onto the walls and banister to break my fall.
  11. He broke my ribs (photo evidence of bruising around my torso) because he ridiculed me for doing kickboxing and wanted to prove a point that I would not be able to defend myself. I never returned to the lessons and stop learning to drive because I was in so much pain and my driving instructor was getting fed up with me canceling my lessons all the time.
  12. He mentally abused me, saying the evilest things anyone could think of, (that I was ugly, stupid a piece of meat, a whore, etc). He even spoke about my mother even though he had never met her and said the apple does not fall far from the tree and referred to the saying “like a mother-like daughter”.
  13. He stole from me. He stole a gold necklace plus other jewelry.
  14. He damaged my belongings and my home ( photo evidence in PDF)
  15. He threatened to kill me multiple times (I have the audio recordings to prove this). He even threatened to petrol bomb my home.
  16. I refused him entry so he broke in.

“Will I ever get involved with anyone again, I highly doubt it, once bitten twice shy as they say. I am too hurt inside to ever want to share my life with someone again”.

I have really bad trust issues now and would be very wary of ever allowing anyone to play a part in my life. I have built something for myself that I never could have done before as I was not able to because of the narcissistic behavior I endured.

I want to show my daughter I am strong after all I am supposed to be the one that takes care of everything even though I sometimes struggle to take care of myself.

UPDATE 24/02/22

Today I messaged him (I had no choice) , to ask what his plans were to pay me seeing his £100 direct debit agreement had failed. He responded by saying firstly to leave him alone and that I was scamming him and that I should get a job 🤣.

So the money he owes me that he claims I am scamming him yet he paid like clockwork for two years (in my defense why would he pay me a single penny if he claims I was scamming him?) he how claims it was a lie and that he was paying me to pay off my debts🤣😂😆. and conveniently forgot all about the damages he made which I photo evidence in the embedded PDF lol.

He continued to say he will cause problems for me and will state he lived with me which was untrue, he lived in another flat a couple of streets away from me, and then sofa surfed but never lived with me officially, yes I cooked for him until eventually, I stopped. He came over when he pleased and once when I purposely refused to let him in he smashed the stained glass front door window to let himself in. Because I had no proof i.e CCTV that he did it I had to replace the glass which cost me £1,200 and board up the window until the glaziers came. (I even have his landlady’s telephone number). I should have seen him for what he was from the beginning a down and out bum, a liar, and a demonic narcissist.

He is full of lies and deceit and I have taken it upon myself to write off the debt of £35K but I will use this lesson to teach others. He is too much trouble than it is worth. I will make this money back and will learn from this.

I did remind him I had the audio recordings and if he tried to cause problems I would hand the recording over to the police, and in response, he sent me a tulip and pink heart emoji 🌷💗.

I feel sad and at one point my hand was shaking so much I could control my fingers and hardly type a word on my phone.

I am unsure where in the world he is and a part of me is still looking over my shoulder.

I told him to stop messaging me and it has now gone quiet.

He once said he would smash all my windows and petrol bomb my house and today he wished me good health (I suppose I am reading into this too much, but that could be an innuendo that I should watch out).

I really do not want to dredge this up and go through court and get the Police involved I want a peaceful hassle-free life. I want to put the past behind me.

Even if I tried to get my money back he is in no position to pay me back and has no money apart from the house he owns in Poland.

He had the opportunity when he returned the car last year to state his intentions of what he was planning to do and not suddenly stop paying me.

I was in two minds taking this post down, but have re-thought that should I ever have any problems or something happens to me or my daughter I have this post as evidence of my concerns.

Good riddance to bad rubbish, he is someone else’s problem now”.

Recovering From Domestic Abuse.

Recovering is never easy and I take each day as it comes. I do find some days harder than others but somehow I find that if I keep myself occupied and busy I do not have time to think. Writing my journal I am basically having an out-of-body experience and although the memories will never go away in time they will fade.

I do not associate writing this down that it happened to me even though it did, I just see words that are part of the content. I will no let myself dwell on all the evil things he did to me, I have moved on and what happened to me happened to me in the past which is an old chapter.

If I had to chance to do everything all over again I would not have entertained him for one minute and would never have met him. The way I see it now it is one of life’s lessons and all I can do now is share my story and perhaps help someone else.

Whenever he was confrontational I would become submissive I would talk in a softly spoken voice only if I really had to otherwise I would not speak at all. Sometimes this would rattle him that he was not getting the attention from his gaslighting so to protect me, I would respond only to make sure it would not escalate into something worse.

He would always criticize me because I looked after myself and did kickboxing not that it helped me. I would always make an effort with my appearance and lost a lot of weight after my mother and brother had died. I was very conscious of what I ate and was ridiculed constantly. The more effort I made on my appearance the more abuse I had so eventually I stopped caring.

My way of coping now is to only talk to people online, I do not like talking over the phone and have not left my home for nearly three years other than once to meet my brother for the day.

  1. I cannot walk very far because of the pain in my knee.
  2. I have social disconnection issues and much rather prefer my own company.
  3. I am trying to self-heal at my own pace, taking baby steps one day at a time.
  4. I lose my balance a lot (cerebellar atrophy)
  5. I muddle my words up( cognitive impairment -cerebellar atrophy)
  6. My OCD symptoms have gone through the roof and I simply cannot touch anything that someone else has touched without disinfecting it first.
  7. I am afraid of being touched or having human physical contact.
  8. I have really bad trust issues.

Yes, certain things that I see and hear do sometimes trigger me, yet I somehow find the courage to learn from it

Support.

The support I have is laughable.

  1. I once reached out to my own GP, five people I spoke to over that phoned me mentioned the letter I sent in an email attachment, yet my GP never got back to me. I was in a really dark place at the time and did not have the strength to reach out to make a consultation booking to speak about my problems. https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/anxiety-phoning-your-gp/
  2. Prior to that at the beginning of my relationship with my ex I did reach out to someone in my inner circle at my daughter’s 16th birthday party and this person never brought the subject up again.
  3. I also sent an email explaining my circumstances this year to another person who said they would phone me but never did.
  4. My neighbors who heard the commotions rather than intervene and call the police simply reported me to the landlord about the noise.

Reporting to the Police.

Should I have reported this to the police when I had the chance, of course, I should have, but I did not because I made to choice to not have this dragged through court and have media attention.

Furthermore, I did not want to go to a woman’s shelter, they tried doing that at the beginning when he sprayed chemicals in my eyes, but I refused to press charges.

The support worker in the women’s shelter tried to get information out of me and said quote “this is a safe space what you tell me will not go any further, and that she is my friend”, so I replied “in this lifetime and the next we will never be friends because how can I be friends with someone I have just met” and was forced to meet by the police?

(“I thought I could reason with him and make sense of what he had done and maybe change him. That was pure 100% stupidity and naivety on my part as you can not change something that is evil that does not think they have done wrong or does not want to change”).

Like I said he is now someone else’s problem now and he no longer resides in the UK.

I have made sure he does not find me hence I am removing my carbon footprint to remove my physical address. I ideally would want to move to a different location so that even if my address did pop up on the internet it would be my old one.

People do not care unless it is related to them. Some people do not want the drama and would much rather step back than try to help.

This is why I do not want to be around people because caring and being kind are two different things. Being kind is doing something in the spur of the moment, and caring is going above and beyond your call of duty.

People may say they care but in reality, they don’t.

I am done confiding with my inner circle, if anyone needs or wants to know what I have gone through I can now direct them to this page.

I do not want any sympathy or pity or have people feel sorry for me. I do not want to be labeled as damaged goods. In fact, I do not want to be known or remembered as the person that survived a domestic violent relationship, in fact, I do not want the attention at all. If anything I want people that have or are going through similar types of situations to reach out and share their stories and have emergency exit plans.

There is nothing shameful about being a victim or survivor of a domestic violence relationship. There are many domestic cases and some hidden behind closed doors where no one gets to see what is really happening and what’s going on right now.

Statistics.

According to WHO Estimates published indicate that globally about 1 in 3 (30%) of women worldwide have been subjected to either physical and/or sexual intimate partner violence or non-partner sexual violence in their lifetime.

https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/violence-against-women

On average, two women being murdered each week and 30 men per year; Accounts for 16% of all violent crime (Source: Crime in England and Wales)

https://lwa.org.uk/understanding-abuse/statistics/

Support & Healing.

Personally, I do not need pep talks I do not want anyone to be my friend. I know what I need and what I have to do to get it.

I am not happy where I live now because I am surrounded by so many bad memories. I just like where I live now I hate it. I walk around with blinkers and do not take pride in my home.

My Health.

My mental health is not good but I know one day it will get better.

I have good days and bad days. On the bad days, I just switch off and disconnect from people completely. I try to distract myself by reading, learning, and watching something on the streaming channels or writing.

My tolerance level is zero and I do not have much patience. I know only care about my daughter and my family, not so much myself but I am taking baby steps to change. I watch motivation videos and am learning about neuroplasticity. I also try to hypnotize myself whenever I can.

I suffer from depression: https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/deep-dark-depression/

I need sleeping tablets to sleep otherwise my mind would be left racing throughout the night. I need medication for my knee although the pain is manageable because I do not go anywhere other than around my home.

I can say I enjoy empowering and motivating people and can disconnect from my own personal dilemma and try and help, by giving advice through my own mistakes.

I am a kind and generous person and I will give support and advice where ever it is needed.

I am comfortable enjoying my own company and maybe one day when I am strong enough I may decide to venture out into the big bad world, but as it stands I am taking one day at a time.

I used to go out and once shared office space on the high street and every time I came in I had derogatory comments from the proprietor saying look the “car crash has just walked in”. I ended up leaving.

I feel safer in my own home. I have anxiety issues leaving especially after one Christmas when I really did not want to go abroad but under duress, I had to, only to come back to having my home robbed by another low-life individual. I am afraid of being robbed again with multiple people having keys including workmen as one let himself in not so long again, thinking I was not at home. So I rather stay put and protect my belongings as I trust no one.

Am I apprehensive that someone may read this and let him know I have written about him? of course, although I have taken steps to redact my name and contact details so that my real name is not public information. (Robots do not read images unless you put alt text and tag them).

Gratitude.

I am grateful I am alive and that he did not kill me. I am grateful I have gotten rid of him from my life. I am grateful he is not in the UK any longer. I am grateful that I can start rebuilding my life and start healing.

Recovering.

I can help people men and women with domestic violence issues by simply talking to them I do not have to make friends just give guidance. I am not a professional counselor but I can guide you in the right direction. You can send a message on this site and it will be passed on to me. You do not have to give your true identity either.

DOMESTIC VIOLENCE USEFUL LINKS

If you have been the victim of domestic violence, you should tell the police. If you are in imminent danger try to be calm and have an emergency exit plan. Keep things from escalating and call the police at the first opportunity you have. Use code to notify other people you are in danger.

https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-body/getting-help-for-domestic-violence/

https://cardiffwomensaid.org.uk/

https://rise-cardiff.cymru/

https://www.un.org/en/coronavirus/what-is-domestic-abuse

https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/adult-health/in-depth/domestic-violence/art-20048397

https://gabbypetitofoundation.org/

#narcissist #mentalabuse #physicalabuse #swindler #conman #conartist #scammer #domesticviolence #greviousbodilyharm #gbh #actualbodilyharm #abh #theanonymouswriter

Emotional Distress Compensation

Emotional Distress Compensation.

Emotional Distress Compensation.

What is Emotional Distress?

Emotional Distress is the intentional infliction of emotional discomfort on another person and is a common law tort that allows people to sue organizations and individuals for severe emotional distress caused by another person or entity who intentionally or recklessly inflicted emotional distress by behaving in an “extreme and outrageous” way.

What are the types of emotional distress?

There are two types of emotional distress cases, negligent and intentional.

You can claim monetary compensation for the emotional distress the discrimination has caused you – this is called ‘injury to feelings.

You’ll need evidence of this and if you have it documented as I have through my “online journal” you can build a case against the perpetrator or entity which needs to show how the discrimination made you feel.

You will need witnesses or evidence of who you are naming and blaming and you need to start asking your family, friends, colleagues, medical professionals, or support workers if they’ll be witnesses to how the discrimination affected you.

An injury to feelings claim is a claim that can be made as part of a judgment, discrimination, humiliation, mental and physical abuse claim but not an unfair dismissal claim. It is a claim for compensation for the upset, distress, or anxiety a person might have suffered as a result of discrimination, humiliation, mental abuse, physical abuse.

Negligence Emotional Distress: As an example, my GP’s surgery has failed in their duty of care and as a consequence has caused me emotional distress.

Intentional Emotional Distress: Another example of an entity(s) that caused a domino effect caused me emotional distress.

The purpose of an injury to feelings award is to compensate the individual for the hurt and distress they have suffered rather than to punish the entity or (person held liable) for the discriminatory conduct. However, the sum awarded should not be so high that it amounts to a windfall nor should it be so low that it diminishes respect for the law.

In the well-known case of Vento v Chief Constable of West Yorkshire Police No. 2 (2003) the Court of Appeal set guidelines on the amount of compensation to be given for injury to feelings (the so-called Vento bands) as follows:

  • The lower band which is appropriate for less serious cases such as where the act of discrimination is an isolated or one off occurrence.
  • The middle band for serious cases which do not merit an award in the highest band.
  • The top band for the most serious cases such as where there has been a lengthy campaign of discriminatory harassment. In exceptional circumstances, the top band can be exceeded.

Subsequent case law established that a 10% uplift should be applied to any award and that the Vento bands should be increased annually in line with inflation.

For claims brought on or after 6 April 2019 the current bands are:

**Please Note Stress & Anxiety Compensation:

In case of prolonged symptoms, your compensation claims could range between £48,000 to £101,000. 

For mild psychiatric damage, your compensation claims could range between £1,300 to £5,000. 

Business Emotional Distress.

Tortious interference, also known as intentional interference with contractual relations (is a business dispute), in the common law of torts, occurs when one person intentionally damages someone else’s contractual or business relationships with a third party, causing economic harm.

As an example, someone could use blackmail to induce a contractor into breaking a contract; they could threaten a supplier to prevent them from supplying goods or services to another party, or they could obstruct someone’s ability to honor a contract with a client by deliberately refusing to deliver necessary goods.

A tort of negligent interference occurs when one party’s negligence damages the contractual or business relationship between others, causing economic harm, such as, by blocking a waterway or causing a blackout that prevents the utility company from being able to uphold its existing contracts with consumers.

Can you sue your ex for emotional distress?

Yes, you can, as a general rule, you can sue for emotional distress, if your ex has caused you mental health issues and as a consequence, you are depressed and have PTSD you can sue this person.

In fact, whether you are filing an insurance claim or pursuing a personal injury action in court, your emotional distress damages are accounted for as a significant part of your financial recovery.

To prove a claim for intentional infliction of emotional distress a plaintiff must prove that:

  1. The defendant’s conduct was outrageous and caused you distress.
  2. The conduct was either reckless or intended to cause emotional distress
  3. As a result of the defendant’s conduct the plaintiff suffered severe emotional distress (depression, PTSD, anxiety, stress, social disconnection, ocd).

Causes of Emotional Distress Include:

  1. Divorce
  2. Seperation
  3. Breakup
  4. Mental Abuse
  5. Physical Abuse
  6. Isolation
  7. Discrimination
  8. Humiliation
  9. Judgement
  10. Eviction
  11. Loss of a Job
  12. Failed Business
  13. Medical Malpractice & Negligence
  14. PTSD from witnessing a loved one’s premature death
  15. Insecurity of knowing the unkown, when an entity playing mind games with your financial status and does not respond to you in a quick and timely manner.

Symptoms of Emotional Distress:

  • Loss of Apetite or Comfort Eating.
  • Insomnia, finding it hard to sleep.
  • Social Distancing, pulling away from people and things.
  • Feeling lethargic, having low or no energy
  • Having unexplained aches and pains, such as constant stomach aches or headaches
  • Low Self Esteem. Feeling helpless or hopeless
  • Excessive smoking, drinking, or using drugs, including prescription medications
  • Constant worrying,
  • Thinking of hurting or killing yourself or someone else.

Often cases such as domestic violence can lead the victim to either criminal or civil proceedings, and he or she will need to decide which option to follow first or which to devote energy to before seeking both options. Emotional distress is usually one aspect of pain and suffering that the judge may award in compensation.

Although the above explains the legal side of things you have to be prepared to name and blame the entities and expect the repercussions of the aftermath of your litigation.

You have two choices and that is you let your negative feeling go and never mention them again (bury your emotions) or you go down the route to seek monetary compensation.

In my lifetime I would have already been a millionaire by now had I chosen to sue everyone that did me wrong.

https://www.hg.org/legal-articles/can-i-sue-my-ex-boyfriend-for-emotional-distress-due-to-domestic-violence-49298

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/emotional-distress

https://www.medicalnegligencedirect.com/suing-for-emotional-distress-uk/

https://www.moneygeek.com/debt/resources/how-debt-can-harm-your-health/

https://www.financial-ombudsman.org.uk/consumers/expect/compensation-for-distress-or-inconvenience

#emotionaldistress #emotionaldistresscompensation #ptsd #depression #anxiety #mentalabuse #physicalabuse #domesticviolence #ptsd #discrimination #humiliation

Feeling Suicidal, Suicidal Thoughts.

Feeling Suicidal, Suicidal Thoughts.

Feeling Suicidal.

“Life is precious, do not waste it”.

Feeling Suicidal is when a person is in a very dark place metaphorically speaking when they have lost the will to live and they see no other way of escaping from the nightmare they are in.

The rise in suicides likely to be linked to austerity – but the story behind each suicide is complex.

When a person has lost all hope and the will to live they cannot see anything else other than dying. They believe that once they die their nightmare will be over and they will not feel anguish, sadness, loneliness, or despair. They do believe the grass is greener on the other side but is it though?.. Some people believe if you commit suicide you go to hell. So if life feels like hell right now, the real hell will be far worse.

When a person falls into this state of feeling hopeless when nothing is working out fine for them and no one understands them or cares or bothers with them it is understandable they may sink deeper into the abyss.

Most of our depression is fueled by fear, loss, and grief. “Disabled Entrepreneur UK” covers all topics in all categories (I have linked some of the topics in this article).

There are many factors that can cause a person to feel so low:

  1. They feel like a failure, they have nothing to show for their life, they fear failure.
  2. They have lost their job.
  3. They have lost their home, through evicition or natual disaster, divorce, seperation or money problems such as bankruptcy or not being able to keep up with the mortgage payments.
  4. They have lost their family through death or family fued.
  5. They have or are going through a divorce and are losing their home, their children and their money.
  6. They have been robbed.
  7. Their business is going under.
  8. They have lost their life partner, through seperation, or death.
  9. They have lost their child through miscarrage, illness or accidental death.
  10. They are discriminated, humiliated or made a mockery of. They have people or institutes that judge them.
  11. The have financial burdens that if their money was taken away how would they cope (benefits).
  12. They feel no one cares or understands them and every time they reach out people do not take them seriously.
  13. They are stuck in a physically and mentally abusive relationship.
  14. They are being bullied in school or in the workplace.
  15. Harrassment because of sexual orientation, religion, skin colour, beliefs, ethnicity.
  16. They have no friends.
  17. They feel lonely.
  18. They feel the world has turned against them.
  19. Their family and friends have turned against them because or their sexual orientation, religion or beliefs.
  20. They are the abuser in a domstic viilent relationship and have they gone too far with their actions and feel worried they will get caught.

Many adults will experience feelings of hopelessness or suicidal thoughts at some point in their lives. 

This could be because they do not have a close support network that understands them (friends/family/co-workers) and they may feel embarrassed to reach anyone in their network for the fear of being laughed at or for the worries they have to be brushed under the carpet so to speak.

SIGNS TO LOOK OUT FOR.

  1. Social Withdrawal.
  2. Excessive Quietness,
  3. Irritability.
  4. Uncharacteristic Outbursts.
  5. Crying For No Reason.
  6. Hating Everything and Everyone.
  7. Talking about Death or Suicide.

“If you are feeling suicidal, the most important thing is to talk to someone“.

If authoritarian institutions try to judge or discriminate against a person for their mental health, remind them no one is perfect and everyone could be in the same shoes as a suicidal person one day feeling life is not worth living”.

When you feel sad and lonely and feel you have no one to turn to there are organizations specifically designed to help people going through what you are going through. They are not discriminating or judgemental they actually care about you as they would not be there otherwise. They are there to lend an ear, you do not even have to say your real name. You just need to take the brave steps to reach out that is all you have to do.

If you are going through a difficult time, you may be feeling isolated and disconnected from your friends, family, or other groups. It might it difficult to start a conversation about your feelings, therefore there are organizations such as the Samaritans that can listen to your problems and perhaps steer you in the right direction. But it’s important that you let the people around you know how you are feeling. It’s important to remember that people in these organizations care and will want to help you.

Saying that, be prepared for the people in your immediate circle that may be oblivious to your sadness and may try to back away because they have their own problems.

The best people to start with are the ones that have been professionally trained, such as a GP or Mental Health Organisation. Not everyone in your close network of friends and family will understand or even want to help you, so keep that in mind.

What to do if you are experiencing suicidal thoughts

Your GP should be the first point of contact for any issues affecting your physical and mental health, including suicidal thoughts. They will also be able to diagnose a state of depression or anything in your lifestyle that may be contributing to how you may be feeling. 

If you do not have a GP but need to speak with a doctor urgently, you can call NHS non-emergency number on 111 and they will direct you to the nearest available walk-in centre or doctor’s surgery.

Tips for coping with suicidal feelings:

  • Try not to think about the future, just focus on the present and getting through the day, start by taking baby steps.
  • Avoid drugs or alcohol, these will only add fuel to the fire.
  • Go to a safe place like a friend’s house, family or public area, avoid being stuck at home alone, go somewhere where there are people around.
  • Start a journal, this could be a physical book or online blog.
  • Find a reason to help others through your personal story.
  • Do something you usually enjoy.

If you are about to harm yourself or have already done so, call 999 as soon as possible or go to Accident and Emergency (A&E) at the nearest hospital.

Professional suicide support services

If you’re feeling very low, you can contact any of the professional support services below for free.

  • Samaritans – call 116 123 or email jo@samaritans.co.uk (available 24/7)
  • Sane Line – call 0300 304 7000 (available 4.30pm – 10.30pm every day)
  • Papyrus Hopeline – call 0800 068 4141, text 07786209697 or email pat@papyrus-uk.org (available 10am – 10pm weekdays, 2pm – 10pm weekends and bank holidays)

The Mental Health Foundation is concerned but not surprised by the latest UK suicide figures. They are in line with other evidence of the distress people are feeling, such as rates of self-harm and self-reported feelings of shame.

Some of the rises in the number of suicides may be due to a change in the rules in England and Wales about how coroners should record suicides. However, it is currently too soon to know what difference the change has made.

Whenever a person takes their own life, there is a complex story behind it.

There is also not a single simple explanation for the increase in the number of people taking their own lives, but it is likely to be linked with economic austerity. We know that suicide rates are linked with people’s uncertainty about their financial futures, unemployment, persistent inequality, loneliness, discrimination, and ill-health. (Citation/Credit).

https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/blog/suicide-prevention-how-you-can-make-difference

ASKING IF ONE IS FEELING SUICIDAL.

According to The Mental Health Foundation:

Asking “are you having suicidal thoughts?”

  • Asking about suicide does not encourage it, nor does it lead a person to start thinking about it; in fact it may help prevent it, and can start a potentially life-saving conversation

Note From the Editor.

However, I have to agree to disagree, I suffer from Mental Health Issues and on my last PIP assessment I was asked that very question, have I had suicidal thoughts.

  1. Firstly I would not admit to anyone if I had them or not.
  2. Secondly if I did not have those thoughts I basically was given a loaded gun because if I was not thinking about it before, I most certainly was thinking it now and had a seed planted in my head, which I could have easily gone through with it had I have been in that state of mind.

“The difference is I do have everything to live for and can teach people including institutions asking someone directly if they are feeling suicidal can go one of two ways and one has to tread carefully”.

One needs to be subtle and not cause a person to immediately go on the defense and on guard. No one will admit they feel suicidal especially to a stranger unless they actively are looking to get help and are prepared to get the support they need”.

For me personally, this crossed my mind on the odd occasion, but I was not telling a PIP assessor who I did not know and besides my own personal story is complex, it is not one incident but many incidents with many people’s/entities actions that I can blame over many years that have caused me to feel depressed”.

As I walked away with a loaded gun that the PIP Assessor had metaphorically given and had I not found the strength to over-ride my thoughts I very much doubt you would be reading my story today”.

I have since learned that one can over-ride one’s thoughts with neuroscience which I am actively researching. I hope to publish my findings in the near future.

What assessors should ask instead is:

  1. Have you been feeling low?
  2. Do you feel you can talk to someone?
  3. How often do you feel low?
  4. Do you have friends or family you can talk to?
  5. Do you feel hopeless?
  6. Do you feel worthless?
  7. Do you feel the world is against you?
  8. Do you know of any support networks you can reach out to?
  9. Do you turn to alcohol or recreational drugs to surpress your thoughts?
  10. Do you feel your thoughts are very intrusive?
  11. Do you isolate yourself from society?
  12. Can you cope with life?
  13. Do you have any hobbies?
  14. Do you feel proud of yourself?
  15. Has anyone tried to hurt you physically or mentally?

World Health Organisation:

According to “WHO” Nearly 800,000 people die by suicide in the world each year, which is roughly one death every 40 seconds.

Suicide is the 2nd leading cause of death in the world for those aged 15-24 years.

Depression is the leading cause of disability worldwide.

https://apps.who.int/gho/data/node.sdg.3-4-viz-2?lang=en

FINAL THOUGHTS FROM THE EDITOR.

When someone you know looks or behaves not their usual self, ask them if they are ok and that they can talk to you whenever they want with no pressure. Always be kind to people as you do not know what they are going through or feeling.

Never be judgemental or dictate to them what they should or should not do. Everyone has the ability to make their own decisions for their own reasons. If you have an opinion tell it once, it is up to the person to listen, continue bombarding the person with your opinions will eventually make the person withdraw from you. If people do not want to listen or take on board your advice do not force it on them.

If you say you are going to phone someone, stick to it, and never give empty promises as that person could just be waiting for you (CD) as there are consequences to our actions.

Do not be that family member that only reaches out once a year at Christmas. Phone the person regularly throughout the year. Get the distant relative involved in your life, do not disregard them like leftover meat. Phone them if they are not inclined to meet with you.

People battle demons in their heads and it is only right for you as a decent human being to be there for the person that may be going through worse ordeals than yourself.

If you are a good person you will spread awareness that people do not have to go through things alone, share your story so that people can relate to you.

If you do not have a job and no one wants to employ you, then create a job and be your own boss. I can motivate and inspire anyone.

Nothing is so bad that you cannot overcome the problem(s) you are faced with, believe me, I know, I have been there, done that, and got the t-shirt. In fact, it did cross my mind on the odd occasion but found a way to get through it. Besides, I have a family and a business I am grateful for having a roof over my head and food to eat. Find the things you are grateful for and think there is always someone worse off than you. Where there is a will there is a way. Obstacles are there so that we can learn how to overcome them. Life is a lesson to be learned.

So if I can survive with everything I have gone through over the years, so can you.

Suicide is so very final and there is no guarantee what you will be faced with on the other side. It could be as some believe that people who commit suicide go straight to hell and some countries do not give people proper burials just dump their bodies in mass graves. It’s ironic that the actor who played the character Chris Nielsen (Robin Williams) “What Dreams May Come” in a film about suicide, committed suicide. Even famous people have demons and get depressed. (Rich and Depressed).

I have been pushed to my limits many times including when I lost both my parents and my brother but I have also had to deal with domestic violence not to mention losing someone I loved. This is part of the grieving process.

There will always be people who will try to be judgemental and will think they are better than you. Let it all go over your head, no one on this planet is better than you. Just because they may be more educated, have social status, or are some sort of institution or royalty, behind every company, there is a human being doing exactly the same as you, eating, sleeping, and surviving.

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/understanding-behaviour

Anyone who is reading this and simply wants to talk can set up an anonymous Gmail account and message me using the form below.

“Nothing is unbearable that cannot be conquered”.

For me how I deal with depression other than doing research I use this site to write my mental health problems as an online digital journal specifically designed to help myself and others like me.

I can lend an ear and point you in the right direction, you do not have to give your real name and everything you say will be kept confidential”.

**Please note: messages are answered within 24 hours.

However, you can chat with me using the chatbox, Open Monday to Friday Business Hours.

If you want to speak with someone outside of these hours I recommend getting in touch with the Samaritans.

If you want to write your own story I can create your own page and together we can inspire more people”.

#suicide #suicideprevention #suicideawareness #feelingsuicidal #depression #clinicaldepression #grief #anxiety #humanbehaviour #suicidalthoughts #intrusivethoughts #suicidal #feelingsuicidal

Rich & Depressed

Rich, Disabled & Depressed.

Did you know that rich people get depressed just like the disabled, working-class, and poor? In fact, in our current climate, everyone gets depressed at some point in their lives regardless, of gender, ethnicity, job title, social status, wealth, or physical and mental disabilities?

There is no such thing as a perfect world or perfect lifestyle that most of us try to strive for. The higher we climb the harder we fall and with more wealth, there will be more problems.

There is not one person on this planet that cannot say they have never been depressed. Even babies can be born depressed.

Rich people are prone to depression because a lot of money of their net worth exists in untouchable assets such as home equity and retirement accounts, not only pressures of work can take their toll on a person’s mental state. For rich people some of the time their wealth only exists on paper and they cannot spend it and run the risk of disappearing due to market conditions.

Rich people spend less time with their families and more time at work, this then puts strain on relationships.

Where the working class person can allocate time to spend with their families in the evenings and weekends and middle to high-class entrepreneurs will prioritize their business in order to run a tight ship. with no time wasted and every day is one day closer to striking gold and more gold. Not everyone is born privileged.

However, saying this person is born privileged or is famous and in the public arena may find it difficult to live normal lives. They cannot just pop down to a local cafe or supermarket their every move is documented so they live in a secluded place away from prying eyes.

The upper class and born privileged person may not understand about other classes and with money flowing may take their wealth for granted but again a wealthy person may also experience depression as they cannot walk on Gods earth freely without being followed by paparazzi and may have to have an entourage of security guarding them. They cannot walk into a store or go anywhere public. They are imprisoned in their own surroundings. They may not have the freedom to do things randomly unlike the rest of the world.

Most CEOs, founders, the innovators are prone to depression more so than the average person, possessing subtle psychopathic traits and be more prone to addiction.

Their addiction and obsession with work only fuel the fire to not fail. Rich people may also turn to alcohol and recreational drugs to self-medicate. These tendencies may even help the individual rise to such heights through their insecurities.

Research suggests that CEOs may be depressed at more than double the rate of the general public (which is already about 20%).

It is also suggested that even privileged rich kids are, counter-intuitively, more depressed and anxious than their middle- or low-income peers. This could be because a social group trap is so tight-knit that it would be virtually impossible to make friends out of their social circle, giving rich kids less freedom. Rich kids do not mix with poor kids or vice versa.

People on low incomes have lower expectations and working-class families learn to cope with the bare minimums and are truly grateful for what they have, which high class have more expectations and are not grateful of what they have because they always want more and better things than the Jones’s. Low-class families are more humble and can show more empathy and understand that a less privileged person will be eternally grateful for any help that is given to them.

Hence a lower class family will be eternally grateful compared to a wealthy family. Whilst a wealthy family will expect the best of the best and if they do not get what they desire they may experience anxiety and depression. There is currently not enough research about the prevalence of depression in the upper vs. the lower socioeconomic classes within a country.

Psychologists who have treated the very high-functioning C-suite types over the years have collected data consensus that tells them that people of high social status and enormous wealth are prone to major depression for a variety of reasons than people of other socioeconomic strata.

Todd Essig, a Forbes writer, and psychologist in New York City said “Uber-success can be depressogenic”. “Many C-suite executives are prone to depression, despite their success, maybe even because of it.”

Depression can affect the lives of everyone, in any stratum.

Regardless if you are rich, poor, or with a disability, no one is immune to anxiety and depression.

However, people who have extreme success are more prone to depression because a person who is successful has chased their own dream and is more protective of it causing isolation and the pressures to keep it a success and not to fail can cause a person to isolate.

People of extreme successes are more prone to criticism there will always be competitors and haters and people just watching and waiting for them to fail.

A person in the public eye may not always have people who will believe in their success.

In this not-so-perfect world where most of us want a perfect life, this is virtually impossible as money cannot buy you happiness. It is a constant battle to please people to have people on the same page as you and there will always be people that are jealous and will say things out of context just to hurt you. It is a constant battle to stay on top which triggers depression in those you’d least expect it. People who are successful, wealthy, and with a disability may find even more pressure to not fail and have to work even harder to get around obstacles. In fact, some of the most successful people in history have suffered from relentless, incapacitating depression – some have won their battles, or, at least, continued to battle, yet some, sadly, succumb to them.

Comparing yourself to the Joneses

People who are extremely successful and very wealthy will always want the best of the best and will always compete with one another to have something grander. This could be the best-hosted party in which mingling with other wealthy people only puts more pressure to make their event even more spectacular. Their competitors, neighbor, or friends dripping with jewels then their jewels would have to be bigger and more expensive, this could also be designer clothes, accessories, cars, properties, etc. They constantly compare themselves to the Joneses. Countries that are low-income, on the other hand, have low depression rates. However even countries with low wealth still like to compete, you should see the graves in Poland the bigger and grander reflects the wealth of the family.

Some people habitually measure their self-worth by materialistic items that they own. Even people of low wealth try to portray they are rich by wearing designer clothes and accessories but in reality, they do not have two pennies to rub together. Not everything that glistens is gold.

Quality Time

People of working or low class have time to delegate their free time whilst a person who is an entrepreneur will be more driven in making their business succeed and may neglect family in order to concentrate on making their business a success. Once at the top of the ladder they will constantly be overprotective to make their business stay in the number one spot. This adds further stress and anxiety and eventually depression.

People of the lower class do not have the same expectations and those of the working or middle or higher class. They may be complacent to what they have and will not be driven to improve their lives they will not have the same pressure as working or middle-class people. Entrepreneurs are on the spectrum of the lower, working, middle and upper class but they have a key goal to succeed. They will battle to climb the ladder. To achieve extreme success, a person needs to dedicate an extraordinary amount of time and effort to get there, which can make for a life that feels precipitous and lonely.

People climbing the ladder may find everyday things that people take for granted like spending time with family mundane and not proactive. Going for leisurely walks or taking time out to exercise may be an ordeal and you will be surprised that many successful people have their own Gyms or exercise bikes in their offices. Also engaging in meaningless conversations and socializing with people that do not have the same vision adds even more pressure to socially disconnect.

Privilege People

People who have been born wealthy and do not have to ever worry about putting food on the table may find it hard to cope if they find themselves in uncharted territory. People born into wealth do not understand and may find it harder to cope with life problems as they have always been shielded from it. Arnold Washton, a psychologist at Compass Health Group said that depression may also be more common in people who have only known wealth, since they may not be familiar with bootstrapping themselves through difficult times. However, people who self-made millionaires or billionaires may be more resilient as they have experienced the struggles of getting to the top and they know what to expect. A self-made millionaire, a billionaire has more authority to teach people about wealth than someone who was born with a silver spoon in their mouth.

The higher you rise the harder you fall.

To be always vigilant and be prepared for disasters and knowing from all the mistakes and failures you have had will give you a building block to start again. Having a stepping stone if things go belly up and being able to reinvent yourself is one key factor to making sure you succeed. If something is not working quite right create another building block. When business is bad, it goes without saying that depression would be more likely. In good economic times, even if every milestone is hit at exactly the right point, some may find that they feel they have failed. Rather than let everything come tumbling down have strategies in place for every economic disaster.

Just because someone is super-wealthy does not mean you have to be less empathetic towards them. By helping them get through their depression will encourage them to help you. The super-rich also have bills to pay and have obligations just like you and I. Obviously our bills are nothing compared to the magnitude of theirs but it’s bills all the same. Unless a person is a ruler of the land or oil tycoon even then the laws of the land may forbid their relatives to live normal lives. Even princesses have attempted to escape certain countries because they want to live normal lives. Knowing a person is depressed regardless of their stature one can only offer a helping hand this could be just an anonymous talk or perhaps advice and links to organizations.

Rich Person Insecurities.

  1. Keeping up with the Jones
  2. Health Issues, Mental Health, Physical and Mental Disabilities
  3. Sealing the Next Deal
  4. Finding Funds for the Next Investment
  5. Shopaholic, Wife, Girlfriend, Partner, Mistress (Over Spending)
  6. Infidelity (Not being satisfied)
  7. Balancing Work and Family Life
  8. Pressures to Succeed and maintain No1 spot
  9. Market Conditions
  10. Untouchable Assets

Wealth/Money cannot buy you health or happiness. Wealth? Money is a tool and a monetary exchange for something you desire. Wealth can satisfy your needs and fill in an empty void, it can help secure your future and your family’s future but it cannot buy you health or happiness. Having material things and assets may make you feel more superior but it will never make you happy.

The key to happiness is knowing that what you do helps others. However to be happy you need to be healthy and you have to treat your body like a temple. If you look after your body it will look after you the spiritual being in the physical body.

If someone is suffering from depression and recognizes they have a problem this does not make them weak. By reaching out to someone is the first step to healing.

Sharing your pain, your worries, and anxieties are the first step to alleviating the problem. A person who is suffering should not suffer alone and needs to reach out to someone or seek professional help.

Regardless of the person’s title or wealth status, we are all human at the end of the day.

Regardless of who you are you can drop us a line you do not have to give your real name and you can set up a Gmail email if you simply feel life is unbearable we are here to lend an ear and we can offer suggestions.

Whatever you are going through you do not have to go through it alone. You are not the first or the last person to suffer and you should not suffer in silence.

#stress #depression #clinicaldepression #ocd #mental health #obsessivecompultivedisorder #bipolar #anxiety #worry #worries #loneliness #therapy #hypnosis #talking #chatting #reachingout #suicideprevention #prescriptiondrugs #antidepressants #famouspeoplewithdepression #richanddepressed

Deep Dark Depression


DEEP DARK DEPRESSION

Depression is complex it is not just about feeling sad it is very dark and feels like you are in hell. It can stop you from functioning properly and may make you feel your life is hopeless. The most common symptoms that people recognize are immense sadness, feeling hopeless like nothing they do or say will make the feeling go away or make the circumstances any better, also feeling numb like no matter what help is offered to you or life throws at you, your despair only makes matter worse and you start to feel numb and start avoiding the root to the problem.

Little things start mounting up and before you know it you have a mountain of things to sort out which may be overwhelming and manifest into a deep dark depression. The manifestation of numbness may lead to you not caring about anything or anyone including yourself.

You may feel life is not worth living and no matter what anyone says or does to try and help, they might as well be talking to a brick wall.

However, if you are experiencing a very dark deep depression you must seek professional help. You could have already gone off the rails and started to self-help by numbing the inner demons with drugs, alcohol, self-harming, or even stop caring about yourself and your surroundings. When this happens we are not making things better we are in fact making things much much worse.

When we stop caring about ourselves we may not care about our appearance or personal hygiene, we stop caring about life and how we live. Our homes become filthy pig styes. We may stop cleaning or taking the rubbish out.

We may start to overeat or undereat. We may start acting out of character and lock ourselves away from society. We may stop caring about our friends, families, and pets.

With deep dark depression, we end up with low self-esteem, body dysmorphia, and may even self-harm or try to end it all.

When we are manifesting deep dark depression it is like being in a very deep black hole, with no one around that can understand us. Our basic hygiene routines are compromised and we may no longer shower or change our clothes, we may no longer brush out teeth or our hair. This can lead to serious health issues, which must be addressed by a professional. Prolonged isolation is another factor of depression when someone isolates themselves from the outside world.

Depression is like a jug of water the longer you hold it the heavier it will become. The weight of the jug is insignificant but the length of time you are stood holding it will eventually tire you out and debilitate you further.

Just like we can manifest negative thoughts through our subconscious minds, we can also program our minds with positive thoughts through hypnotherapy and neuroscience.

The main causes of depression are:

  1. Finances (this has to be the number one reason why people are depressed because of money problems).
  2. Loss of a job
  3. Going through a Divorce
  4. A break-up of a relationship
  5. Loss of health
  6. Death of a Pet
  7. Loss of a Business
  8. Loss of a Friend (breakdown of friendship or death)
  9. Loss of a Parent through Death
  10. Loss of a Sibling through Death
  11. Loss of a Child through Death
  12. Miscarriage
  13. Loss of a Spouse, a wife, or husband through death (from a sudden event as well as a serious illness)
  14. Loss of a family home due to financial issues or divorce
  15. Loss of your assets because of theft (including sentimental belongings)
  16. Loss of your pride and dignity, self-worth due to physical and mental abuse
  17. Loss of a cherished dream, taken away because of an unexpected financial issue
  18. Loss of your safety net through financial difficulties or mental and physical abuse
  19. Loss of a working environment (workmates) due to retirement or changing jobs
  20. Rape. (loss of virginity or loss of self-worth due to rape)
  21. Loss of self-worth through Physical and Mental Abuse (Domestic Violence)
  22. Loss of dignity and pride, due to racism and discrimination
  23. Loss of confidence due to humiliation, trust issues, belittlement, betrayal, and other insecurities
  24. Loss of freedom due to incarceration
  25. Fear of Failure

I will talk more about Neuroscience and hypnotherapy in my posts to follow.

When life is unbearable you must seek professional help from your GP, do not try to fix your depression yourself, talk to someone that can lessen the burden of your troubles. A problem shared is a problem halved.

Everything can be fixed you just need to find the solution to the problem and you need to rewire your way of thinking.

I have been following www.jakeducey.com check out his videos on youtube and on Facebook, you may be surprised how you can turn your life around.

depression #clinicaldepression #deepdepression #darkdepression

Self Help & Self Hypnosis

Neuroplasticity

SELF HELP & SELF HYPNOSIS

I am a strong believer in never knock it until you have tried it, meaning see if it works before making assumptions or criticizing, and if the CIA (Gateway Process or Project Stargate) has been doing it for over 20 years there has to be something in it. Accessing your subconscious mind and re-wiring your thoughts can benefit our lives, especially if we get stuck with repetitive thoughts that we cannot shift.

I wish in the 30 years I have suffered from OCD, depression, anxiety, stress, and PTSD that my GPs which I have had a few, could have suggested hypnosis.

It is not for me to tell them to do their jobs but no one ever suggested it and like a good little soldier I went on my merry way without questioning it or bringing it up in conversation. It was only by chance I came across some videos through social media did I really start thinking about a way to help myself. If I can find a way of not being dependant on prescribed drugs for the rest of my life, then I obviously have to give it a go.

I think as I am getting older I am getting a little wiser and have decided to explore neuroplasticity and brain training.

I have just started the art of self-hypnosis and have found a braining training motivational speaker ‘Jake Ducey’ as well as the Monroe Institute. I have subscribed to Jakes’s Facebook videos and am on his mailing list. I have found the information he gives is valuable, which I am now implementing into my own life.

For years I have been programmed to think that I was not good enough, that I was a failure, I would not amount to much or have nice things. I was criticized, judged, humiliated, and belittled. I started believing everything anyone said to me.

The emphasis of this multiplied when I got involved with a narcissist that created negative energy and made my life toxic. I knew things had to change and I feel like the world has lifted off my shoulders since he has been gone.

The day I flipped the switch and said enough is enough was the day I started to think differently. Every time anyone would say something derogatory I would have an out-of-body experience. If they were directing their opinions and their judgments at my body, I immediately became numb with a hardened exterior and my body has always felt as it is a vessel and it is protecting what is my inner soul. I felt like they could do what they wanted to my body but they would never get to my soul (sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me).

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but their opinion is not my belief. They could think what they wanted about me, it was now water off a duck’s back and not significant to me. I have always thought treat people like you would wish to be treated.

I started standing up to my fears and thought “what was the best that can happen to me”, rather than my worst? I turned my negative thoughts into good thoughts and started thinking differently. I started making goals.

Where just over a decade ago I had no direction in the last few years I have started to focus. I have set goals and I know what I want but never found a way to manifest what I wanted until now.

I am paving a path. People’s perceptions and opinions of me no longer matter, I am now in control.

In my lifetime I have come across, some very cruel, rude monstrous people that have had this self-opinionated, self-entitled persona about them that they think they are better than you. I have had people with sarcastic, patronizing, opinionated attitudes try and tell me what to do or who have looked down at me and I now rise above it all, as it is only their opinion and who are they at the end of the day?

I have learned if someone is trying to hurt you, end the conversation and block them. I do not play fire with fire, if someone has an evil tongue, I bite mine. Remember silence speaks a thousand words and the universe will pay them back.

Obviously, I have a long way to go to heal as this is only the start of my journey.

Self-help therapy.

I have now started to delve into brain training and mind control (Neuroplasticity) and will publish my progress over the next few months. I will start a 30-day social experiment on myself starting today 30/05/21 where I will use self-hypnosis and the eye roll technique as well as listening to “Jakes audio” and will document my findings on a daily basis which I will publish at the end of next month.

My goal is to try and stabilize my OCD, my depression, my stress, my anxiety, and my PTSD. Because of all the grief, I have endured over the years, I need to brainwash the mind of my memories. I also want to change my ultimate thinking process to manifest what I want.

Apparantly you need to practice the eye roll technique as in the pdf below:

self-hypnosis-instruction-sheet-eye-roll

Once you have mastered the eye roll technique you should find a quiet space to meditate and play the following audio:

You should also watch some of “Jake Ducey’s” motivational videos, which I have added open below , especially if you are going through a difficult period in your life and you are surrounded by negative or toxic people. You too also need to retrain your brain and your thought process and try these relaxation and thought-provoking techniques.

Do check out “Jake Ducey’s” website and start re-training your brain. Jake has been featured on FOX, TEDx, Entrepreneur, HuffPost, and INC, and Penguin Random House. He is a force to be reckoned with: https://jakeducey.com/

” IAM A POWERFUL CREATOR, I AM POWERFUL BEING MY THOUGHTS CREATE REALITY”
How To NEVER Get Angry or Upset AGAIN
3 Ways to MANIFEST WHILE SLEEPING & Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind
Shocking Law of Attraction SLEEP TECHNIQUE For Attracting What You Want
SAY THIS TO MANIFEST ANYTHING YOU WANT FAST
SAY THIS BLESSING TO MANIFEST ANYTHING
MONEY SPELL CHANT TO MANIFEST MORE MONEY NOW
The LAW of ATTRACTION and What NOBODY Tells You. VERY POWERFUL!!!
Bob Proctor: The Law of Attraction And What Nobody Tells You!! (Must Watch!)

Believe it or not, The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and the United States Government have been using mind control and the laws of attraction for years.

The CIA technique dubbed the Gateway Experience was essentially described as a training system to bring enhanced strength, focus, and coherence to the amplitude and frequency of brainwave outputs patterns, according to the CIA report, ranged from converting energy to heal one’s body to traveling across space and time to learn and access new information. The CIA approved testing for this under the eyes of US Army Lieutenant Colonel Wayne M McDonnell. The project was classified by the CIA until 2003. McDonnell was commissioned to work on the Gateway Experience in the 1980s at a time in US history when the nation was taking a deep interest in different varieties of psychic research.

Project MKUltra (or MK-Ultra) is the code name given to a program of experiments on human subjects that were designed and undertaken by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), some of which were illegal. Experiments on humans were intended to develop procedures and identify drugs such as LSD to be used in interrogations in order to weaken the individual and force confessions through brainwashing and psychological torture. The project was organized through the Office of Scientific Intelligence of the CIA and coordinated with the United States Army Biological Warfare Laboratories. Other code names for drug-related experiments were Project Bluebird and Project Artichoke.

Investigative efforts were halted by CIA Director Richard Helms’s who ordered that all MKUltra files be destroyed in 1973; the Church Committee and Rockefeller Commission investigations relied on the sworn testimony of direct participants and on the relatively small number of documents that survived Helms’s destruction order. In 1977, a Freedom of Information Act requests uncovered a cache of 20,000 documents relating to project MKUltra which led to Senate hearings later that year.

Some surviving information regarding MKUltra was declassified in July 2001. In December 2018, declassified documents included a letter to an unidentified doctor discussing work on six dogs made to run, turn and stop via remote control and brain implants.

The above document “Analysis and Assessment of Gateway Process”, that also Jake refers to is downloadable, it is available through the following link below: https://jakeducey.com/CIA/

This makes me believe there is a way to manipulate one’s mind using hypnosis and Neuroplasticity tDCs.

Alternatively, if you cannot download the document for some reason, then drop us a line.

Further Reading:

According to the Hebbian theory (Hebbs Law) is a neuroscientific theory claiming that an increase in synaptic efficacy arises from a presynaptic cell’s repeated and persistent stimulation of a postsynaptic cell. It is an attempt to explain synaptic plasticity, the adaptation of brain neurons during the learning process. It was introduced by Donald Hebb in his 1949 book The Organization of Behavior. The theory is also called Hebb’s rule, Hebb’s postulate, and cell assembly theory. Hebb states it as follows:

Let us just think that the persistence or repetition of a reverberatory activity (or “trace”) tends to induce lasting cellular changes that add to its stability. … When an axon of cell A is near enough to excite a cell B and repea cells firing B, is increased.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebbian_theory

Citations:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_MKUltra

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebbian_theory

https://www.indiatimes.com/technology/science-and-future/cia-secret-program-gateway-experience-534724.html

#neuroplasticity #hypnosis #selfhypnosis #gatewayprogram #tdcs #braintraining #brainrewiring #subconscious #subconsciousmind

Rewiring Our Brains -tDCS

Rewiring Our Brains -tDCS.

New technology has found our brains continue to rewire themselves and never stops changing as we age. The term neuroplasticity can now make it possible to repair our damaged brains.

We have 86 Billion Neurons & Nerve Cells in our Brains, so we need to be able to control how we use them.

Imagine stimulating the brain to stop us feeling physical and mental pain or help us our bodily functions due to some sort of brain damage which has caused us to become physically disabled.

Imagine having mental health or neurological problem such as OCD and having the possibility to re-wire the circuits to stop you from having intrusive thoughts, anxiety, stress, depression, and PTSD, or physical disabilities.

Imagine being able to fix the issues and go back to running a normal life.

Believe it or not, is no longer science fiction it is real and it can be done through wearable non-evasive (TDCS) Transcranial direct current stimulation. What this means is the brain gets painless low intensity direct electrical currents stimulation treatment. A constant current flow is passed through two electrodes placed over the head which modulates neuronal activity.

CEOs are starting to use the technology to supercharge their brains to be able to memorize things better and to fine-tune their knowledge. As with all trending technology many high-flying executives are jumping at the chance of grabbing these devices. At the SHA Wellness Clinic on the southern coast of Spain, business leaders and high-powered diplomats take the opportunity to unwind and relax with healthy food, spa treatments, and brain zapping. “They’re decision-makers and people who have very stressful lives and are aware that they need to reset themselves,” says SHA vice president Alejandro Bataller. “They come to learn more about themselves so they can enjoy optimal vitality and brain activity, and therefore productivity.”

Obviously, as with anything hi-tech, there are concerns about the effectiveness of tDCS, with fears that in the wrong hand, people could do themselves long-term damage with unlicensed or homemade devices. According to Vincent Walsh, a cognitive neuroscientist at University College London stated that “The field, in general, is plagued by low-quality research and publication bias,” Experiments have had small numbers and poor controls that don’t do a good job of eliminating placebo effects. “When we look at tDCS, people have jumped the gun, they have made claims to sell these things to people that are not based on the literature”.

It is debatable if sending electrical currents to the neurons in the brain, makes them more or less likely to fire and creating the desired effects.

Editors Notes.

If I had the opportunity to have the treatment with a safe no-evasive wearable device, I would certainly give it a try”.

My OCD consumes my life and if I thought that using this device could help with OCD, Depression, Anxiety & PTSD I would jump at the chance to give it a go, obviously, I would wait until after all clinical trials were completed and approved by the MHRA and FDA”.

I have watched some videos which I will add at the end, which I hope will give you a better understanding of the possibilities to help with mental health being and physical disabilities.

However ‘Vincent Walsh’ is concerned about the biased published data not actually showing the negative outcome if any from this treatment. He is worried that only positive results are being published.

In 2014, psychologist Nick Davis at the University of Swansea published a paper calling for “extreme caution” in using tDCS and highlighting a number of problems, including a lack of knowledge about long-term side-effects, a lack of clear dosing guidelines, and a dearth of research about how tDCS might impact children.

Editors Notes.

Obviously, I am all for trying something new and there is already a range of devices one can purchase, but I am personally concerned how effective they are considering how much money you initially need to buy of these things and what adverse reactions can come from using these things”.

Before searching the internet I will throw caution in the wind as some devices may be available to buy but may pose a risk to your health especially if they have not been clinically proven and do not have the CE stamp which would mean they do not have a license.

The trending high tech medical device on the market is the Flow Neuroscience headset made by a Swedish Company, which was launched last year and has CE approval in the EU and in the UK which means it can be sold as a medical device for the treatment of depression and is being sold in the UK and Sweden. The device is attached to two points on the forehead.

The co-founder Daniel Mansson, a clinical psychologist believes that other devices on the market cannot treat depression.

Flow aims to provide a pharmaceutical-free treatment for long-term depression, which is, in some cases, associated with lower neural activity in the left frontal lobe. The company secured a £1.2m investment from private equity firm Khosla Ventures to fund clinical studies and support a rollout in the UK and EU.

A note on the Flow website warns that it should only be used by people with a medical diagnosis of depression, but no prescription is required to purchase the hefty price tag of £399 per headset. There is no guarantee that it will work 100% for everyone, which would make me think twice before buying it.

The EU has a new regulation that came into force in May 2020 which will ban the sale of wearable devices that haven’t gone through the CE marking process.

However, Vincent Walsh argues that although devices being CE approved does not prove that the product isn’t dangerous, it’s not equivalent to NICE or FDA approval.

‘Vincent Walsh’ accuses ‘Flow Neuroscience’ the company of being biased and cherry-picking from the publication to show only the positive side of the product is effective at treating depression, ignoring more measured and negative randomized control trials and meta-analyses, as well as “individual differences, treatment resistance and depth of depression”.

Would I try it if it was available on the NHS or if the company sent it to me to try and review, possibly, but I would want to know all the adverse effects and see other peoples experiences and make sure that putting a contraption on my head would not fry my brain? I think I would have to wait until it was FDA approved before trying it out.

Flow is working towards FDA approval in the US and is starting talks with the NHS to make the headset available on prescription.

This will not stop perfectly healthy people from being attracted to the brain zapping device.

FURTHER READING

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/scientists-demonstrate-direct-brain-to-brain-communication-in-humans/

https://www.wired.co.uk/article/brain-stimulation-wellness-tdcs

https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-020-02979-1

https://theconversation.com/brain-scans-reveal-why-it-is-so-difficult-to-recover-from-ocd-and-hint-at-ways-forward-74092

https://www.bbc.com/reel/video/p098v92g/neuroplasticity-how-to-rewire-your-brain

https://www.newscientist.com/article/2221743-europes-first-home-brain-zap-device-for-depression-launched-in-uk/

https://www.nhs.uk/apps-library/nhs-app/

VIDEOS

The Tech Helping To Treat Depression
TDCS Neuro Cognitive Enhancement.
The Woman Who Changed Her Brain: Barbara Arrowsmith-Young at TEDxToronto
Dr. Norman Doidge | The Power of Thought

I know technology is evolving fast with Elon Musk and Brain to Brain telepathy and mind control called Neuralink

Neuralink
Neuralink Monkey MindPong
Neuralink Snout Boops
Working on the Neuralink Robot

Final Thoughts From The Editor

There are other ways of retraining your brain without a drastic measure of sending electrical currents to your brain or drilling holes.

Would I try the Neuralink if it was offered to me, well for the right price with certain conditions that I was able to secure my daughter’s future should something bad happen to me, then maybe I would consider it. If it meant that I would be helping other people with mental health and neurological conditions like myself then at least I would be remembered for that.

Non-evasive therapy.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a form of treatment for people with mental health disorders. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a psycho-social intervention that helps to improve mental health. CBT focuses on challenging tasks and changing cognitive distortions and behaviors, improving emotional regulation, and developing personal coping strategies that target solving current problems.

From what I have learned over the years your mind has to be in the right place you must be at peace with yourself and your demons”.

For years I have struggled with mental health issues mostly as a direct consequence of grief. I have tried cognitive behavioral therapy and found it to be non-effective. I also had a therapist but found talking about remembering things I wanted to forget, not effective either.

I never tried hypnosis and have been curious about its effectiveness. I have seen how patients terrified of flying or spiders were cured using this technique, however, I believe I have fallen between the gaps for the NHS to help me.

In fact, I sent a very private and confidential letter to my GP today and had an autoresponder message to redirect my inquiry to the practice manager.

What happened to data protection and privacy?

I find medication helps to a certain degree, especially with my sleeping, and does keep me from staying calm most of the time, keeping myself busy is also a factor in managing my disability. My mind is always active and I never run out of ideas of doing something new and I can never say I am bored.

Here Are Some Steps to Retrain Your Brain.

  1. Accept your thoughts and obstacles. Admit to yourself what is troubling you, face your fears.
  2. Make a plan for how you will tackle the obstacles and turn your negative thoughts into positives ones.
  3. Organize your day, keep a planner or diary/journal of things to do.
  4. Admit to yourself what triggers you.
  5. Set a plan to move forward, write done what you want to achieve and set goals, create a personal mantra.
  6. Be thankful for what you have got and be kind to people. Practice daily gratitude.
  7. Help other people, helping others by empowering and motivation will make you a leader. Pay it back.
  8. Find mentors or read books on successful people and network with people that inspire you.
  9. Create a Dream board and visualize what you want from life, practice the law of attraction.
  10. Meditate.
  11. Exercise.
  12. Eat Healthily (your body is your temple, treat it with respect).
  13. Keep yourself busy.
  14. Do crosswords and puzzles.
  15. Write down your thoughts, this could be a diary or online journal.
  16. Write a book.
  17. Start a business.
  18. Appreciate your surroundings and Nature.
  19. Be creative, build lego or Airfix models, try art painting with watercolor, oils, and acrylics.
  20. Make a sculpture.
  21. Invent something.
  22. Code Computer Games.
  23. Learn a Language.
  24. Learn a New Skill.
  25. Get a qualification. It is never too late to learn.
  26. Train as an athlete.
  27. Become a Coach and do public speaking.
  28. Make a legacy so that people can remember you.
  29. Brain train by reading books.
  30. Brain train by playing video games, app games, or play chess.

#tdcs #neurolink #flowneuroscience #neuroscience #neuroplasticity #cognitivebehaviouraltherapy #braintraining #braintobrain #elonmusk #ocd #depression #stress #anxiety #mentalhealth #neurologicaldisorders #disabilities #mentaldisabilities #physicaldisabilities

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