MS Diary of a 20 year old.

I am a 20-year-old female that is about to start University in September 2021 and I suffer from ‘Multiple Sclerosis’. I live at home with my mum and my MS cat called ‘Tibbles’.

My mum read online when I was first diagnosed with MS that cats can be good for therapy. My cat is my faithful companion and is super loyal to me as I was the one that brought him up and litter trained him. He follows me everywhere and sleeps with me.

My Symptoms.

I am always feeling tired, I always try to get a good 8 hours sleep but I do not know what it is called but my legs feel so heavy and I find it difficult to get into a comfortable position (not sure if that is restless leg syndrome or not)?

My legs ache and my neurologist told me to double up on my ‘Gabapentin’ but the ‘Gabapentin’ also makes me feel zonked out. I cannot concentrate if I feel zombified. I cannot win.

“I have to be super alert for my studying”. I cannot afford to feel drowsy during lessons.

Whenever I travel anywhere I always catch an Uber (hospital appointments). My mum used to come with me until the pandemic started and only one person was allowed in, so it was not worth my mum coming with me.

I do not like public transport especially because of ‘Covid’and not being able to keep a safe distance from anyone, let alone the walking and standing to catch a bus, my legs cannot handle it.

There is no evidence to show that the coronavirus jabs actually work on autoimmune patients as there has not been enough research and when my mum reached out to the pharmaceutical companies they just blanked her, which is very worrying for me.

My mum is my carer and helps with my shopping. She does her best to cook because although I do like cooking I cannot stand for long lengths of time, so my mum has no option but to cook for me.

I would like to lead a normal life but my household is by far from normal. My mum suffers from OCD so we are as bad as one another.

No two days are ever the same, I have good days where I do not feel sad and depressed and other days where I just want to stay in bed all day. My health is not perfect and I am starting to learn to adapt to my disabilities. As an example, I have had cataract surgery and have to have my driving license reviewed every 3 years.

I feel sad life has dealt me this card but it could have been much worse so I have to stay optimistic and you never know scientists may find a cure for it someday.

My mum had a couple of suction bathoom grab bars fitted to help with getting out of the bath.

I do have really bad days and feel extremely sad and cry for no reason. I can thank my mum for being there to put a smile on my face and cheer me up, she is like a counselor to me and motivates me.

I have noticed I have gained weight. I cannot exercise like walking for example because my legs hurt.

I do try and maintain a healthy diet but I think my medication is somewhat to blame for my weight gain (contraceptive pill).

Will update if any of my symptoms change.

Signing of for now. Z x

#multiplesclerosis #multiplesclerosissymptoms #ms

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Zena is about to graduate in BA Hons Marketing Management at Cardiff Metropolitan University and plans on doing her Masters later this year.

Zena may look normal to an untrained eye even though she has an invisible disability. Thanks to a great support network she is able to fit into society and can get additional help, whenever she needs it.

Zena aspires to be a role model for young people with Multiple Sclerosis.

Zena is also 'The Assistant Editor' of Disability UK Disabled Entrepreneur Journal, and Cymru Marketing Journal (CMJUK). She works remotely which does not put a strain on her health. She writes, does social media management, content creation and digital marketing.

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