Renata’s Online Journal of a Disabled Entrepreneur is a diary of her health conditions, her mental health, her business, and her highs, and lows. It may also include reviews and recommendations. Renata’s Online Health Journal covers her goals and achievements, her celebrations as well as her disappointments, and how she tries to recover through self-help therapy.
Renata suffers from OCD (Germ Contamination and Cross Contamination) and Cerebellar Atrophy (losing balance & jumbling up words).
Renata is a Survivor of Domestic Violence and suffers from Depression, PSTD, Anxiety, Panic Attacks, Intrusive Thoughts, and Social Disconnection.
Despite her trials and tribulations, Renata tries to stay positive and tries to overcome the obstacles she is faced with.
Renata is an advocate for mental health.
Renata is currently studying:
Professional Counselling Grief & Bereavement Diploma
Fully Accredited Professional Psychotherapy Diploma
Accredited Professional Master NLP Practitioner Diploma
Fully Accredited Professional Neuroplasticity Diploma
Her history and her disabilities do not define her, she is taking one step at a time, and she is a Pheonix Rising.
You can view her virtual business card and learn more about her here: www.irenata.com
Caffeine is a commonly consumed psychoactive substance found in coffee, tea, chocolate, energy drinks, and various other foods and beverages. It is a central nervous system stimulant that can help people stay alert, focused, and productive. However, excessive caffeine consumption can lead to dependence and addiction, which can have negative effects on physical and mental health.
Caffeine addiction is a real phenomenon, with withdrawal symptoms that can include headaches, fatigue, irritability, and difficulty concentrating. These symptoms can be mild or severe, depending on the individual’s level of caffeine consumption and the duration of their addiction.
One of the reasons caffeine addiction is so common is that caffeine is found in so many products and is widely available. It is estimated that 90% of people worldwide consume caffeine daily, with coffee being the most popular source. Some people may not even realize they are addicted to caffeine until they try to stop using it and experience withdrawal symptoms.
The addictive properties of caffeine are due to its effects on the brain. When caffeine is consumed, it blocks the action of a neurotransmitter called adenosine, which promotes sleep and relaxation. This leads to an increase in the release of dopamine, a neurotransmitter associated with pleasure and reward. Over time, the brain may become dependent on caffeine to maintain normal levels of dopamine and other neurotransmitters, leading to addiction.
While moderate caffeine consumption is generally considered safe for most adults, excessive caffeine intake can lead to a range of negative health effects. These can include increased heart rate, high blood pressure, anxiety, insomnia, and digestive problems. In some cases, caffeine consumption may also exacerbate existing health conditions or interact with medications.
If you suspect that you may be addicted to caffeine, there are steps you can take to reduce your consumption and manage your symptoms. Gradually reducing your caffeine intake over time can help to minimize withdrawal symptoms. Other strategies, such as getting enough sleep, staying hydrated, and engaging in regular exercise, can also help to boost energy levels and improve overall well-being.
In conclusion, caffeine addiction is a real and potentially problematic issue for many people. While moderate caffeine consumption is generally considered safe, excessive caffeine intake can lead to dependence, withdrawal symptoms, and negative health effects. If you are concerned about your caffeine intake, speak with a healthcare provider or a mental health professional for guidance and support.
The Symptoms of Caffeine Addiction
Caffeine is a stimulant that is consumed by people all over the world. It is found in coffee, tea, chocolate, and many other products. While it is generally safe in moderate amounts, caffeine addiction can occur in some people who consume too much of it. In this article, we will discuss the symptoms of caffeine addiction and what you can do to manage it.
Withdrawal symptoms: One of the most common signs of caffeine addiction is experiencing withdrawal symptoms when you stop consuming it. These can include headaches, irritability, fatigue, difficulty concentrating, and even flu-like symptoms.
Increased tolerance: As you consume more caffeine, your body can develop a tolerance to it, which means you will need to consume more to achieve the same effects. This can lead to a cycle of dependence and increased consumption.
Difficulty sleeping: Caffeine can interfere with your sleep, making it harder to fall asleep and stay asleep. This can lead to insomnia and other sleep-related problems.
Anxiety and jitteriness: Caffeine is a stimulant that can increase feelings of anxiety and make you feel jittery or on edge. This can lead to increased stress and difficulty managing emotions.
Digestive problems: Caffeine can also cause digestive problems, such as acid reflux, heartburn, and stomach ulcers. These can be painful and uncomfortable and may require medical treatment.
Increased heart rate: Caffeine can cause your heart rate to increase, which can be dangerous for people with underlying heart conditions. It can also lead to palpitations and other heart-related problems.
Difficulty quitting: If you have tried to quit or reduce your caffeine intake and found it difficult, this could be a sign of addiction. Many people find that they experience strong cravings and find it hard to quit despite knowing the negative effects.
If you are experiencing any of these symptoms, it is important to take steps to manage your caffeine intake. Some strategies that can be helpful include gradually reducing your caffeine consumption, switching to decaf or herbal teas, and avoiding caffeine late in the day. You can also talk to your doctor or a mental health professional for additional support and guidance.
Caffeine addiction can have a range of negative effects on your health and well-being. By being aware of the symptoms and taking steps to manage your consumption, you can reduce the impact of caffeine on your life and improve your overall health.
Conclusion
Notes By The Editor – Caffeine also makes a person urinate more frequently, I for one drink 2 x 500ml energy drinks a day on average, and need to go to the bathroom every 1.5 -2 hours. I need energy drinks to wake me up in the morning after taking Mirtazapine just before I go to sleep. The drug helps me fall asleep but does nothing for my OCD and makes me very sluggish when I wake. I have tried to drink coffee especially when I have run out of energy drinks and basically, I would need 4 espresso shots to touch my sides for it to make a difference.
Where I used to be a coffee addict I can safely say I am now an energy drink caffeine addict.
I think I would need to stop my medication, to then wean myself off the energy drinks. However, at the moment my hectic life is a vicious cycle and something needs to change for me to see an improvement in my health.
In today’s fast-paced world, communication has become more comfortable than ever. With the advent of technology, people can connect with each other from different parts of the world through various channels such as messaging, emails, social media, and phone calls. One of the most common forms of communication is a phone call, but sometimes, even a missed call can lead to anxiety. In this article, we will discuss how a missed call can give you anxiety.
Firstly, a missed call from a loved one can cause anxiety because it might signify an emergency. When you see a missed call from your parents, spouse, or children, you automatically assume that something is wrong. The feeling of uncertainty and not knowing what the call was about can make you anxious. Your mind starts to wander and imagine all sorts of worst-case scenarios, which can be stressful.
Secondly, a missed call from a potential employer can cause anxiety because you might miss an opportunity. When you are actively looking for a job, and you miss a call from a hiring manager or recruiter, it can be frustrating. You may worry that you missed your chance to impress them, and they will move on to another candidate. This fear of missing out can cause anxiety and stress.
Thirdly it is unprofessional to not leave a voicemail and expect the recipient to mind read. Not leaving the message will cause a person to get worried and anxious especially if they call back and the call goes into the answering machine.
There are consequences to people’s actions.
Some people may be anxious about the missed call itself. They may worry that they will never find out who called them or why, or that the call was important but they missed it. This fear can be particularly acute for people who have a fear of missing out (FOMO) or who have a tendency to overthink and ruminate.
If you experience anxiety due to missed calls, there are several things you can do to manage your anxiety. Firstly, try to identify the root cause of your anxiety. Are you worried about missing important calls, or are you anxious about the person who missed the call? Once you understand the source of your anxiety, you can take steps to address it.
For example, if you are worried about missing important calls, you can set up call forwarding or voicemail to ensure that you don’t miss any important messages. If you are anxious about the person who missed the call, you can reach out to them and check in to see how they are doing. If you are anxious about the missed call itself, you can try to reframe your thinking and remind yourself that most missed calls are not emergencies and can be returned at a later time.
In addition to these practical steps, there are also several self-care techniques that can help you manage your anxiety. These include exercise, deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness. By taking care of your physical and mental health, you can reduce your overall levels of anxiety and stress.
A missed call can trigger anxiety for a variety of reasons. If you experience anxiety due to missed calls, it’s important to identify the root cause of your anxiety and take steps to address it. By setting up call forwarding or voicemail, reaching out to the person who missed the call, and practicing self-care techniques, you can manage your anxiety and reduce your stress levels. Remember, most missed calls are not emergencies, and can be returned at a later time.
How anxiety can affect a person’s life
Anxiety is a natural human emotion that we all experience at some point in our lives. It is a feeling of worry, fear, or apprehension about what may happen in the future. While it is normal to feel anxious in certain situations, excessive and ongoing anxiety can be debilitating and can negatively affect a person’s life in many ways.
Anxiety can affect a person’s physical health. When we feel anxious, our bodies go into “fight or flight” mode, releasing stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones can cause physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, sweating, and shaking. Over time, chronic anxiety can lead to other health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and a weakened immune system.
Anxiety can also impact a person’s mental health. It can cause feelings of dread, panic, and constant worry. These feelings can lead to insomnia, difficulty concentrating and decreased productivity. Anxiety can also cause a person to become socially isolated, as they may avoid situations or people that trigger their anxiety.
Anxiety can also affect a person’s relationships. It can cause a person to become irritable, short-tempered, and withdrawn, which can strain relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners. Anxiety can also make it difficult for a person to form new relationships, as they may feel too anxious or insecure to initiate contact.
In addition to affecting physical health, mental health, and relationships, anxiety can also impact a person’s career. Anxiety can cause a person to miss work, have difficulty completing tasks, and miss out on opportunities for advancement. It can also make it difficult to maintain positive working relationships with colleagues.
Furthermore, anxiety can also affect a person’s financial well-being. If anxiety is severe enough to cause missed work, it can lead to a loss of income. Additionally, anxiety can lead to increased healthcare costs as a person seeks treatment for their symptoms.
Overall, anxiety can have a significant impact on a person’s life, affecting their physical health, mental health, relationships, career, and finances. While it is important to seek treatment if anxiety is interfering with daily life, there are also steps a person can take to manage their symptoms, such as practicing relaxation techniques, exercising regularly, and seeking support from loved ones. By taking these steps, a person can reduce the impact that anxiety has on their life and regain a sense of control.
The domino effect of people’s actions regarding mental health
Mental health is a crucial aspect of our overall well-being. It affects how we feel, think, and behave, and it can have a significant impact on our quality of life. Unfortunately, mental health issues are widespread, and many people struggle with them in silence.
While mental health is a personal issue, it’s important to remember that our actions can have a domino effect on others. For instance, when we take care of our mental health, we inspire others to do the same. When we stigmatize mental health issues or downplay their significance, we create a ripple effect that can harm people around us.
The domino effect of our actions regarding mental health can manifest in many ways. Here are a few examples:
Stigma and Shame
One of the most common ways our actions can affect mental health is through stigma and shame. When we stigmatize mental health issues, we create an environment where people feel ashamed to seek help. This can lead to a domino effect where people suffer in silence, and their mental health deteriorates over time.
To combat this, we must work to create a culture that is accepting and understanding of mental health issues. This means promoting open dialogue and education about mental health, challenging negative stereotypes, and encouraging people to seek help when they need it.
Support and Understanding
On the other hand, when we offer support and understanding to those struggling with mental health issues, we create a domino effect of positivity. When someone feels supported and heard, they are more likely to seek help and take steps to improve their mental health. This, in turn, can inspire others to do the same, creating a positive ripple effect.
Self-care and Personal Responsibility
Our actions also have a domino effect on our own mental health. When we prioritize self-care and take responsibility for our mental well-being, we inspire others to do the same. This can create a domino effect of positive habits and behaviors that benefit everyone.
For instance, when we prioritize self-care by getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly, we are better equipped to manage stress and cope with challenging situations. This, in turn, can inspire others to prioritize their own self-care and improve their mental health.
Conclusion
Our actions have a significant impact on mental health, both on our own and on those around us.
By being selfish and not taking into account people’s mental health, not leaving voicemails says a lot about the person. It shows unprofessionalism if the entity phoning is part of a business and it shows that the caller does not care about the consequences of their actions.
The domino effect of selfishness can cause the recipient a catalyst of disorders, such as stress, anxiety, emotional distress, fear, depression, insomnia, and depression.
This actually happened to me today and when I phoned back my call went to voice mail where I did leave a message. I will try and contact the entity again if they do not email me and will give them a link to this post via SMS to teach them that not leaving a message has caused unnecessary stress and anxiety, which all adds up to my healing process. Putting spanners in the works only causes setbacks. I am now worried about what this person wanted from me. I hope the universe pays her back as the caller was a (she), because now I will be up all night worrying.
Apologizing is a lame excuse, the damage has been doneand there is nothing anyone can do to undo their thoughtlessness. Saying sorry, are just words, they do not mean anything, and they will not bring food to the table if the recipient becomes unwell because of a person’s selfish act.
It’s up to us to take responsibility for our actions and create a culture that prioritizes mental health and well-being and not be selfish.
I have decided to record my health in one post rather than several posts. Although I do have a personal brand (www.irenata.com), I tend to write business reviews and vent about different things I try to keep my health issues separate. I am not embarrassed to say I have health problems but people are too quick to judge like the gas engineer that has come to my property appointed by my landlord for many years became personal and made a derogatory comment.
I do not have many changes in my health from month to month. But interacting with some people does my head in quite literally.
As an example, I wrote to a credit card company no less than 40 emails or my hosting provider that cannot read my concerns even though I have shown them evidence multiple times.
Never mind British Gas where I had to resort to many blog posts to show evidence of my calls and how it caused me emotional distress.
I have now put my phone on silent calls and on do not disturb so only people in my favorite lists can contact me directly and people that are not in my contact list get sent to voicemail which is turned off. The reason for this I am getting a lot of spoofing calls. I have also disabled my contact forms on most of my sites as I have been inundated with scammers and people asking for work. I want to control who I interact with.
December 2022
Although I should not complain that I saw my family, the stress it caused sent my OCD through the roof.
March 2023
I have no energy, I feel lethargic and am frustrated that I have to pee every 1 to 1.5 hours. (Caffeine Addiction).
I have noticed I keep losing my balance more frequently and do not have a good grip when holding things.
I have also noticed I am missing big chunks of sentences when I am writing.
I am also frustrated that no matter do I am only seeing a gradual change. I have asked the universe to help me, and hopefully, it will answer my prayers. Hopefully, the universe can unlock whatever is blocking it.
Some days I just do not want to do anything even though I have obligations and if I do not do anything I cannot put food on the table.
I have also noticed I have what I believe is ‘carpal tunnel syndrome’. According to the NHS website, I should get advice from my local pharmacy which is a joke as I have been on the phone for an hour and no one is picking up, the message just goes into a loop ringing for ages after being transferred to the general enquiries.
Imagine if I was an elderly person or someone vulnerable, I have just left the phone ring, good job I am not taking incoming calls and how it would affect my business if my line was engaged, I would lose business. These corporate companies do not care about people.
The saga continues with my hosting provider. I have reached out multiple times over the same issue and it seems they cannot read or basically I am dealing with stupid people.
So as of today 15/03/23 I feel overwhelmed and feel I have burnout syndrome. I just want to bury my head in the sand and let life pass me by.
Hopefully, my life will improve for the better so that I can start living a happier and healthier life. I can visualize my life vividly and I know I will get there but I need to practice being patient.
More dates will be published whenever I have any updates.
Male Contractors Should Not Come to Female Homes Alone!
Should there be a law for male contractors entering female properties alone?
Vulnerable women, living alone should be protected from male contractors visiting solo.
Protecting Women
There should be a law for protecting women in their own homes. Women should feel safe when a male visits to do maintenance or inspections.
Should the male contractor do or say anything out of turn the woman would have no witnesses unless she had CCTV. Not everyone can afford surveillance equipment.
I am always apprehensive of male contractors coming into my home. Some I have known for years but that does not mean anything, anyone can lose the plot and do things they are not supposed to say or do.
As a survivor of domestic violence, I get very anxious when anyone visits especially men. I find it hard to stay calm and always feel on edge.
A Law To Protect Women In Their Homes
There should be a law where a female should be present with the accompanying male contractor (just like a female nurse accompanying a male doctor, if say for whatever reason the resident was unable to have someone as a witness when the contractor visits). This not only protects the resident but also the trader as well of false accusations.
I am not looking forward to my next annual gas check in April/May time, not my Electricity checks, especially my smoke alarms that do not have to be checked by an actual electrician.
Usually, laws are passed after something happens, I for one would like a law before anything does.
I should just cross each bridge as I come to it, and not worry myself silly. From my previous engagement with the gas engineer, he clearly broke the law, what’s to say he does not break it again? I always try to have someone present but when my daughter attends university it sometimes can become a problem.
Article Written and Published 9th December 2022 19.45 pm
This is a health update on how I am feeling today. It started off with Evri supposedly delivering two expensive parcels to my property with a photo of what looked like the side of a package and the pavement.
When I received the email I immediately went downstairs because I live in a First Floor Flat only to find nothing in the communal area, so my initial thought was to buzz my neighbor to see if they heard the buzzer go (seeing as I am partially deaf) and the woman said she did not hear anything. I then went outside and could not see anything.
So now I am starting to panic, I could feel my heart pumping faster and I started to shake.
Although this post is not entirely a medical guide I will still include a few links should you need to research further.
The symptoms I had were:
Shortness of breath or hyperventilating
Fastened heartbeat
Feeling ill and lightheaded
Feeling out of control or like you’re about to die (a distinctive sign of a panic attack!)
I continued the small talk and asked if they had sorted the problem with British Gas chasing them for £2K even though they have only lived in the property for two months if that. Now, this is the bit that started alarm bells ringing because I am in communication with British Gas who have said my address has been reverted back to Ground Floor on the 8th of November 2022 where the debt is (which has nothing to do with me). I was even told by British Gas that my meter was associated with the building rather than the flat according to the national database. I have not had any problems for 23 years and all of a sudden I am.
I am feeling very anxious over a lot of things right now. My brother and his wife and son are coming to the UK for Christmas and although it would be nice to see them, I am anxious because I do not know how well I can cope with my OCD. Furthermore, they expect me to travel which is a journey of 3 hours and I need to go to the loo every hour. Public toilets are out of the question. I can cope with my disability at home but doing what I do is humiliating and embarrassing when it’s done in front of other people that do not understand.
I feel anxious just in case they make a diversion and want to come to my home, I have anxiety issues when workmen and contractors come in let alone anyone else. If I had more money I would make the place look more liveable but as it stands it’s I place I work and lay my head to sleep.
Although I have agreed to meet with my brother, he does not realize the ordeal I have to go through to get from A to B, It is stressing me because he is not taking my disability seriously. I am already leaving my comfort zone and am testing my OCD thresh-hold. My daughter said if I do this now I won’t have to go through this again for a while. So fingers crossed on how well I cope with my disorder.
So going back to my missing parcels they were wedged between the pavement and the bin where anyone passing by could have swiped. Nice one Evri part of the Hermes group shower of company.
I feel very on edge and feel very tearful. My tolerance levels are nil. I have no patience and am very irritable. Put it this way I found one last valium that I saved in case of emergencies which was prescribed donkey years ago. I still feel my heart racing and the valium pill did jack sh#t 💩 to calm me down.
A few hours have now passed since the fiasco with the courier this afternoon and writing how I feel down has actually helped to a certain extent.
It’s easy to say don’t worry, or things will be ok, but unless you are walking in my shoes it’s hypocritical for someone to judge.
“I will continue carrying on, one step at a time, until one day the universe manifests my desires”.
I believe one day I will have everything I dreamed of. I believe nothing stays in the same place forever. I continue to keep myself busy, to stop myself from thinking about my past. I have set myself goals that I will strive to achieve and from this, I will be able to eradicate my memories. I will be able to help others to also put their past behind them and learn to overcome their fears. Everyone has down days even the richest people on the planet and everyone has a story to tell. The trick is learning to love, respect yourself and learn to forgive. My therapy is called “writing”, this can be a letter, a diary, a blog, or a book.
Writing releases the tension and puts it out to the universe, it is up to God to punish the perpetrators that have hurt you, whilst allowing you to rebuild your life.
“I carry a battlefield of wounds and from my own personal experiences will tell my story”.
PTSD – Post Traumatic Stress Disorder – Personal Story.
Over the years I have endured many traumatic events, including domestic violence, the death of close family members, a car accident, and other life-changing incidents.
I have written articles about grief and how I have coped over the years plus I have cited source information on proven ways to help with, depression, anxiety, and stress disorders.
I have moments that trigger memories of past events like the time a criminal investigation officer (CID in 2011) walked into my property with another officer without knocking, being threatening, and taking my 10 yr old daughter into the kitchen, by himself to get her version of events, whilst I had the other officer talking to me in the living room because I would not press charges against the person that assaulted me. I ended up reporting him to the Police Ombudsman and he was demoted as a consequence.
So for anyone that comes into my property unannounced I start to get panic attacks and feel nauseous (28/11/22).
People who do not know my history and have not walked in my shoes have not got a clue what I have gone through, hence I plan to write my autobiography in order for the world to know so that people stop judging me.
Yes, I get judged because of my disabilities but it is because of the trauma that I have endured is why I have the disabilities.
I suffer from cerebellar atrophy, (head trauma). I also suffer from anxiety, panic attacks, and intrusive thoughts. I have a bad knee from it being kicked seven times until it dislocated.
My therapy is to motivate and empower myself and learn about the mind. I am studying for a diploma in neuroplasticity and psychotherapy. I do not plan to change my career path, I just want to understand more about how the brain works and how I can re-wire my mind. This is just a personal goal.
I must admit I was shaken up today when I saw someone on the stairs but have got gradually over it by keeping myself busy as the day has progressed.
I tend to do a lot of research and writing so what happened a few hours ago is now in the past, although it was an unpleasant experience, which triggered my past memories, thus prompting me to write this article.
In hindsight, I should lock my flat door when I am inside but there is an outer door that a visitor must come through before opening my door. I am curious what would have happened if I was not home because obviously this entity must have had keys to get in or the flat below me let them in. However, if I was not home they would have needed keys to enter my flat.
“There should be a law that no one should enter the property without the tenant being present because what is to say that a contractor does not help themselves to valuables? You would have no proof they stole anything unless you had CCTV installed”. Yes, I may be accused of being distrusting, but over my lifetime I have been very trusting and people have abused my trust.
Overview – Post-traumatic stress disorder
Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is an anxiety disorder caused by very stressful, frightening, or distressing past events.
Symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Someone with PTSD often relives the traumatic event through nightmares and flashbacks and may experience feelings of isolation, social disconnection, irritability, anger, and guilt. People often have trouble sleeping, such as insomnia, and find concentrating difficult. These symptoms are often severe and persistent enough to have a significant impact on the person’s day-to-day life.
Changes in Physical and Emotional Reactions
Patients are characterized by having:
Anger issues, short tempers, jumpiness, and irritability
Zero tolerance
Short attention span, with no patience
Paranoia
Panic attacks
High blood pressure or hyperventilation
Difficulty sleeping
Muscle tension
Nausea or diarrhea
Cognitive and mood symptoms
The negative outlook on life, yourself, and others
Loss of hope for the future
Lapses in memory about the traumatic experience
Self-blame and guilt
Losing interest in previously enjoyable activities
Detachment from family members
For a PTSD diagnosis, a person must experience one or more re-experiencing symptoms and one or more avoidance symptoms. Also, they will need to display two or more changes in physical and emotional reactions and two or more cognitive and mood symptoms.
Risk and Resilience Factors
According to the National Institute of Mental Health, mental health disorders such as depression, anxiety, stress, and substance abuse often accompany post-traumatic stress disorder. Additionally, there are risk factors that can increase the likelihood of experiencing symptoms of PTSD, such as:
Genetics
Childhood trauma
A history of alcohol and drug abuse
No support system or social interaction following traumatic events
Experiencing prolonged trauma
High levels of stress in everyday life
Mental illness in oneself or relatives
Careers that have a high risk of exposure to a traumatic event, for example, military servicemembers or first responders
Gender: women are more likely to experience certain symptoms of PTSD
A domino effect of consequences, such as grief from separation from a partner, not having anyone to turn to, and losing a job, following a traumatic experience
Resilience factors that reduce the risk of having PTSD following traumatic events include:
Having a support group
Seeking out therapy
Keeping busy
Having healthy personal relationships
Being able to control reactions related to fear and anger
Early intervention and PTS treatment, before it develops into a disorder
Having social and emotional support from an early age
Having positive coping mechanisms
Causes of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
Any situation that a person finds traumatic can cause PTSD.
These can include:
the sudden death of a loved one
a breakup with a partner
serious road accidents
domestic violence, such as sexual assault, rape, mugging or robbery
serious health problems
childbirth experiences, miscarriages
PTSD can develop immediately after someone experiences a disturbing event. Sufferers of trauma may have symptoms of PTSD for many months or years.
PTSD is estimated to affect about 1 in every 3 people who have a traumatic experience, but it’s not clear exactly why some people develop the condition and others do not.
Complex post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)
People who experience multiple traumatic events in the course of their lifetime from situations such as severe neglect, abuse, or violence, may be diagnosed with complex PTSD. Complex PTSD can cause similar symptoms to PTSD and may not develop until years after the event. It’s often more severe if the trauma was experienced early in life, as this can affect a child’s development.
When to get medical advice
After you have experienced trauma you may feel life unbearable and very overwhelmed with the feeling the whole world is crashing down around you. You must seek professional help as quickly as possible to try and get your mental health under control. It’s normal to be very upset and confused.
The best thing you can do other than to see your doctor is to distract yourself and make yourself busy. Distractions could include, art therapy, going for a walk, meeting people, reading, and learning a new skill. Join support groups online if you feel you cannot interact physically.
You should speak with your GP first who can refer you to mental health specialists and advice you on all your different options for getting therapy.
I have in my time gone to psychiatrists and have also done CBT therapy but for me personally learning how to block out intrusive thoughts through accredited courses helps me to become an expert on how my mind works and what I can do to get better.
Learning is not for everyone, but as long as you write your thoughts down and release them to the universe you are one step closer to recovery.
How post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is treated
PTSD in many cases can be treated, even when it develops many years after a traumatic event.
A person suffering from anxiety and depression has to want to recover. It cannot be forced. It is a gradual process and it takes time. A person needs to take small steps, a day at a time.
Food for thought -This is more so for people who have done your wrong, abused, and hurt you. If you are a believer in God you may want to get the quote from Mathew 6 in the Bible that is to forgive the person that has done you wrong, thus God will forgive your sins and will take care of the rest. Who is more powerful than you to take revenge on the person that has hurt you, God of course…
Any of the following treatment options may be recommended:
watchful waiting – monitoring your symptoms to see whether they improve or get worse without treatment
Earnestness is the path of immortality (Nirvana), and thoughtlessness is the path of death. Those who are in earnest do not die, those who are thoughtless are as if dead already. Gautam, The Buddha.
Thoughtlessness, inconsideration, and narcissism.
I start today with an example of a person (my neighbor) that showed narcissistic traits, not to me may I add but to a ‘Tesco Delivery Driver’ that came to deliver my shopping.
I was in the middle of a business call when my delivery arrived and my daughter came to meet and greet the female driver. The driver was very young (18 to be exact) and happened to say her age and brief bio to my daughter after the incident.
There is a reason for me to point out the gender, bear with me…
My argument would have been would my neighbor have had the balls to come out and rant to a man if they were older than this girl? This was a show of intimidation and disrespect. This was to show that he seems to think he has some authority and looks down at people whilst in the next breath is two-faced and nice to you when it suits him. Ironically he has two daughters both in their twenties and early thirties and this girl is someone’s daughter.
Basically, what had happened the driver pulled up close to my neighbor’s car, (not a supercar but an old saloon banger) and he came out of his house ranting that the van was too close to his car. The van would have been offloading no more than 10 minutes if that but he was having none of it, the van was too close for his comfort. Anyway, he then called the driver a “Stupid B#tch”. The young girl after he had gone burst into tears and said under normal circumstances she may have dismissed the rudeness but the fact she heard that her Grandmother had died as she started her shift her emotions got the better of her.
“You do not know what is going on in a person’s life, so be careful what you say”!
Bearing in mind that this very neighbor was an employee of Tescos and so was his daughter, makes me wonder how he got the job when he speaks to people in this way. It’s a pity that I was not there to see and hear what went on as I would have put in my ten penneth.
My daughter immediately relayed what had happened.
Being a self-centered narcissist will eventually catch up with you.
Forgiveness!
As I keep telling everyone and anyone that listens if you find it in your heart to forgive God or a high Power (The Universe) will forgive you and will punish the person that has done you wrong.
Name-Calling!
I am going to change my name to Morticia Addams– The Addams Family!
Name-calling is my neighbor’s speciality, I can totally believe what has happened, as it is not the first time I have heard this same person name-calling and stating that the house I reside in looks like the Addams Family home. I rent one of the apartments and it is not my responsibility to take care of the exterior. Although he could be referring to us on a more personal note. 🤣😂
Name-calling, being spiteful, and being unkind is wrong on so many levels. You do not know what someone is going through when you open your mouth. It can actually affect someone’s mental health if you do not put your brain in gear before putting your mouth in motion. I am trusting God or the Universe to punish him seeing as I have let it go and have forgiven him.
Wouldn’t it be cool if I could buy the property I live in and see their mortified faces that I am here to stay? They would no longer be able to report me to my landlord, and not being picked on would be one for the books. Imagine parking my brand spanking new 4×4 Porsche Carerra or my GMC Hummer SUV and then telling him that he has parked too close. 🤣😂.
If you have positive thoughts, you can manifest anything, as it says in the bible “Matthew 13:12 Whoever has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken away from him.”. Meaning if you think negatively only negative things will continuously come into your life, but if you think positively and imagine you already have what you want it will one day manifest itself but you have to believe.
Why People Do Not Care.
People only care if they are directly affected by something or someone. They only care about themselves and their close network of friends and family. Yes you see activists rebelling for the sake of the world, yet you have world leaders b#mbing and k#lling innocent people. You have poverty, famine, homelessness (not every homeless person is a crackhead), and third-world countries. People do not care.
In fact whilst I was in an abusive relationship instead of this neighbor calling the Police, where I could have been saved from a beating when he heard a commotion, reported me to the landlord. This just shows that people simply do not care other than about themselves and their family and friends, but that is it.
My neighbor will one day realize without me mentioning his name that he has done wrong when I publish my book.
My neighbor is the type of person that will chat 💩 about you to my landlord and the community and people would believe it. So I hear you say if I am so unhappy where I live, why don’t I move, well the answer is simple I will when the time is right, or I could just stay put and buy the house as an investment and rattle my neighbors even more.
It really rattles me when people are not kind and considerate and put some thought into what they say before opening their mouths. No wonder I have social disconnection issues.
In the beginning, I started to adopt unusual habits I did not understand what it was or why I was doing it other than I had to release the impulsive urge otherwise it would torment me. There was no internet back then so could not google it.
Looking back now my mother had similar traits but not as bad as me and some were a little different.
When I tried telling my mother in her later years she was in complete denial. My father was not happy because he did not know what OCD was and did not like me whipping out Dettol Surface Spray every five minutes and simply thought I had a screw loose.
What is OCD
OCD is a common debilitating condition affecting individuals from childhood through adult life. There is good evidence of genetic contribution to its etiology, but environmental risk factors also are likely to be involved. The condition probably has a complex pattern of inheritance. Molecular studies have identified several potentially relevant genes, but much additional research is needed to establish definitive causes of the condition. Genetics of OCD – PMC (nih.gov)
My mother had OCD, for example, when we came home from school my mother would make us stand in a small area in the kitchen to take our shoes off, we would then have to go upstairs immediately and stand on a newspaper to take our uniform off and get changed.
My mother had a habit of checking the soles of our shoes or even guest shoes as no one could come into the house without taking them off in the corridor. I reckon if anyone caught her doing what she did they would be mortified.
All grocery shopping would have to be washed with detergent before it could go in the cupboards. Obviously, some foods such as bakeries would have the outer packaging wiped with a dishcloth.
My mother had problems with newspapers and mail (just like me), she was careful how she opened them, everything had to be in a certain place and could not be touched unless it was in a certain area of the house and we would have to discard the outer envelopes and wash our hands.
My father’s jacket would always be inspected for dirt, especially on the hem and sleeves after he hung it up. I think her OCD put a strain on their marriage, although I think they had problems way before she developed the disorder which I believe was a direct consequence of how my father treated her.
Ongoing studies point to a genetic defect in the way the front area of the brain communicates with deeper areas. These deeper structures use serotonin, a chemical messenger. Images of the brain in some people with OCD show that these defective communication circuits work more normally with serotonin-based medications or cognitive behavior therapy. OCD Causes: Is OCD Genetic, Hereditary? | HealthyPlace
The start of my OCD symptoms.
I was 21 when I started to develop OCD traits, it was whilst I was in a relationship with someone who took advantage of his position in a Bank he worked in, and any attractive-looking female customers he would look for their names, addresses, and phone numbers up and phone them to ask them out for dates (obviously this would never be allowed to happen now because of GDPR but as I got more suspicious that he was playing away I phoned the numbers that he would leave lying around and the women would confirm that they went out with him. It is amazing no one reported him because he is now a regional bank manager thanks to me finding the job in a job center and applying on his behalf somewhat 38 years ago.
The straw that broke the camel’s back.
I think the straw that broke the camel’s back was when out of the blue with no notice at all he said it was over between us. To be honest I was madly in love with him (he looked like a young version of Tom Cruise a spitting image of Top Gun Movie 1 and now looks more like David Cameron MP (Yes I have looked him up and blocked him). I would have taken a bullet for him (my ex not the MP), regardless of what he did.
In my heart, I forgave him as long as we would stay together, but pressure from his parents especially his mother did not approve of me as the daughter of a working-class immigrant who wanted her precious son to have a more upper-class suitor. His sister was also never a fan because it was her boyfriend that arranged a blind date that got us together and at the last minute bailed only to ask her brother to take his place. I was not aware of how much grief this would cause, and I would have been pissed if the roles were reversed and it happened to me, so did not blame her for being angry. She ended up breaking up with her boyfriend after that.
I knew at heart of hearts there was something very seriously wrong in our relationship (with my ex) and that he was a player. I started to wash my hands and body in ‘Dettol Antiseptic Disinfectant’ liquid, which either would be undiluted on my hands or mixed in my shower gels and shampoos because I believed I wanted to wash the other women’s scent off me when he was intimate with me.
To this day I will only use Dettol Brand, I use it when I bathe and also when I wash my clothes. It cannot be any other brand other than Dettol.
I think what escalated my OCD was when I found out he was visiting brothels and he caught an STD, by that time we were not having sex but the thought of him having crabs grossed me out. It’s a long story about how I found out and it will be in my autobiography when I publish it.
I then started to be very vigilant about my surroundings, I started to have the shower curtain outside the bath, which would cause the floor to get wet and also get him angry, which in turn caused arguments. I could not stand the shower curtain clinging to me as I was showering and to this day I have not changed this habit. I now have a glass folding door fitted in my own bathroom.
After we broke up I think I must have had a nervous breakdown. I thought my life was over and I so desperately wanted him back, I realized why he no longer wanted to be with me because he met someone that worked at the bank (I believe everything happens for a reason, had I not found him that job, things would have maybe turned out differently) but looking at it now he did me a favor. I then decided to move away so that I would never bump into him again. I have since blocked him on all social media so if he was ever to look me up he would never have a hope in hell of ever speaking to me.
Coping with OCD over the years.
Over the years and depending on what was going on in my life I have good days and bad days but I learned to cope and adapt.
I did keep my OCD hidden for many years as I was very embarrassed to admit there was something wrong with me.
It was when people in public places bumped into me (busy towns) I started to have an issue with social connection. When using public transport I hated people sitting next to me. It got to the stage I would avoid buses altogether and it really rattled me when someone would push past me or if they bumped into me (say sorry) my argument would be if I was a car and there was a collision they would be doing more than apologizing.
I would find it hard to go to restaurants and cafes and have my own set of cutlery. I became vigilant about how the server served the drinks and how close to the rim of the glass their fingers would be. I ended up drinking from straws. I have been known to clean the seat before sitting down, this would get people to give me funny looks. Imagine sitting on a seat where the previous person has sat who may have tram lines in his or her undergarments.
My OCD is germ contamination. My impulse is not to touch unsanitized objects and my compulsion is to clean and disinfect whatever I am in contact with.
I have now opted out of socializing, it’s embarrassing to wear latex gloves in public. There is a stigma attached to people that behave differently from the rest of the batteries in the matrix. The chances of being judged or ridiculed are too much for me to bear.
I prefer to live behind a computer screen than interact with the outside world.
Don’t get me wrong I would venture out if I had to, but try to avoid it as much as possible. I would take extra precautionary measures and try to overcome my anxiety.
I have all my groceries, prescriptions and shopping delivered. There is nothing I cannot do but it all has to be done online. All statements and invoices are online.
I also have a problem with flies (fruit flies in particular) but flies in general that sits on dog poo and then sit on your surfaces really turn my stomach. In the summer months, I am armed with fly spray by the dozen.
My Compulsions
My compulsions, I do try and fight as much as I can, say, for instance, if I have touched something by accident, I will go and change my clothes. However, there have been instances where I have not been able to sanitize expensive things and have had to through them away. I remember when my daughter was little and she stepped in dog poo, I ended up throwing out her shoes.
I cannot share my bath with anyone else other than my daughter. I cannot let anyone touch anything that belongs to me such as a laptop, books, or that kind of thing.
I cannot have someone sit next to me or touch me. Even my daughter’s cat knows not to jump on my seating area, although if he has brushed himself by accident against me I immediately have to take my leggings off to be washed.
I go through about 1000 pairs of gloves per month and use two bottles of 750 ml antiseptic disinfectant a week. I spent about £800 on this alone last year (I know this from doing my tax return).
The more stressed I am the worse my OCD gets. If people put pressure on me and cause me stress and anxiety the more it flares up.
My Triggers
Stress
Anxiety
Reminders of the trauma and grief I endured
Intrusive Thoughts
My Personal Belonging Being Touched
Germ Contamination
Being Touched (Hugs)
Flies (Insects)
Dog Poo (cat poo or bird poo is not so bad, it is dog poo that is a trigger for me)
Animal Hair (especially dog hair)
Shaking Hands (how many people actually wash their hands when they go to the toilet)
Kissing
Sharing Plates of Food
Public Places that are not sanitized
Half-finished projects or errors that need correcting (I cannot leave an error for another day I have to correct it there and then)
Keeping grief hidden can be a survival strategy after suffering a bereavement. New research shows that the social disconnection caused by concealing feelings of loss can increase psychological distress.
Social Disconnection is not always about OCD it could relate to other psychological distress disorders.
Every person on this planet will endure grief at some point in their lives. It will depend on how they cope which will determine the final outcome.
My Therapy.
I find that scripting in a journal helps (I do it online but you can do it in a book, it’s down to personal preference at the end of the day) to get whatever off my chest. I have also tried meditation and hypnosis and you need to stick to it and do it religiously for it to work.
I have tried psychotherapy and CBT therapy and it only works in the short term. Speaking to shrink every week having to talk about the things you would rather forget is counterproductive. As for CBT, it is a therapy to change your thought process and resist the urge of the compulsion, the only way this kind of therapy works is under hypnosis which the NHS does not provide, and if you try and do it yourself you have to religiously work at it (miracles do not happen overnight).
I have self-hypnotized myself successfully although it is short-lived because I have to do it every day or a few times a week, in which I do not have the time for, considering I am working all day I am too tired and just want to go to sleep.
I also take prescribed medication, not that it helps my OCD in fact all it does is help me fall asleep. I would not mind doing clinical trials of magic mushrooms (Psilocybin) which I have heard can help sufferers with OCD. It is illegal to harvest or use them, without medical supervision. They are considered Class A drugs.
I keep myself busy and I am constantly learning about my disease so that I can not only help myself but help others like me.
I try to resist my urges as much as I can.
Germ Contamination
I am very vigilant about germ awareness and cross-contamination.
Motivating & Empowering & Advocate of OCD
I am an advocate for people with OCD. This is one of the reasons why I built this site to help people not only with mental but physical disabilities.
My daughter has Multiple Sclerosisand there are certain things she finds difficult to do so I arrange her appointments and respond to her every whim at least five hours a day. I am her personal assistant and care for her needs. I support her not only as her mother but also as her carer. Just because I have OCD does not stop me from doing things inside my home, with PPE. I can help her with getting in and out of the bath, just like any nurse wearing PPE clothing, such as disposable gloves and disposable hygiene coats. I can also cook and clean for her and help with anything she needs. Because of her immunosuppression, it is an added bonus that I keep our home sanitized and germ-free.
She is the assistant editor of this site. She suffers from excruciating pain which is one of the symptoms of (MS). and she is on the highest dosage of medication possible to be prescribed on a monthly basis.
In fact, altered functional connectivity between the cerebellum and cerebral networks involved in cognitive-affective processing in patients with OCD provides further evidence for the involvement of the cerebellum in the pathophysiology of OCD & MS and is consistent with impairment in executive control and emotion.
My daughter has a problem with symmetry and even numbers.
Just because you have a disability you still can strive to follow your dream even though you may have limitations there is usually a solution to every problem and you can overcome obstacles. There is nothing you cannot do if you put your mind to it.
Final Thoughts
Many neurodevelopmental conditions can often co-exist together, although can be treated in different ways.
OCD rears its ugly head when you find it difficult to cope with life, OCD can be the onset of trauma and grief.
Stress, Anxiety, and everyday struggles can cause your OCD to get worse especially when people try to undermine, humiliate, and judge you. Try to not let anything get to you and if you want your own space to write your own personal story, just drop me a line below and I will create a landing page, free of charge. Whatever your disability may be mental or physical you can write to your heart’s content about yourself and your daily struggles. People love reading stories they can relate to.
Since coming out as an OCD sufferer I have been made to feel as if I am bonkers by Personal Independence Payments (PIP). They have made me feel like I have no authority to speak on disabilities even though I am the Editor of this website and have a Diploma in OCD hypnotherapy. I do not practice hypnotherapy and only took the course to help me. As I mentioned previously for hypnotherapy to work it is a process that has to be done religiously on a regular basis. You cannot just hypnotize yourself in one session and expect miracles.
Whilst practicing hypnosis I have got myself into a very relaxed state.
It has helped me to a certain degree to resist my compulsions but has not eradicated my germ contamination obsession problem.
Furthermore, another day comes with more added stress and anxiety and I feel all my hard work has been a waste of time whereby I have just gone back to square one. I really should practice hypnotherapy every day for it to make some difference, yet never seem to find the time. My business comes first, as that is what pays the bills and brings food to the table.
Disclaimer – Although I phoned PIP last week I have since written other articles which would have pushed this article to the bottom of the pile so I have changed the publishing date to today for easy access even though the article was originally published last week.
PIP Review Digital Form.
It is my turn to have a review for my personal independence payment and they do not make it easy to renew. The system is designed for you to not have the energy to argue. But arguing is what I am good at among my other many talents.
I can honestly say my OCD and stress levels have got so bad all because of the emotional distress PIP has caused.
I have phoned three times and had one call back.
Today (14/11/22) I tried to do the review over the phone and the person who said he would phone me put me through to someone who was not helping. I ended up not confirming the callback, so I guess no one will phone me unless I phone back again and wait another 30 mins to get through.
This PIP review process has caused my OCD to flare up more because they cannot access my website, or so it seems (so they are not human) to read my article even though I repeated my domain name umpteen times.
I was told I would have to have an assessment, I turned around and said I would want to know the qualifications of the person before assessing me, although I would not have any proof. Anyone can say they have a Ph.D. over the phone.
This website and my medical records should be sufficient evidence in order to be able to access my information. I am not going to jump through hoops to prove I am disabled.
What are Personal Independence Payments For?
Personal Independence Payment (PIP) can help with extra living costs if you have both:
a long-term physical or mental health condition or disability
difficulty doing certain everyday tasks or getting around because of your condition
You can get PIP even if you’re working, have savings, or are getting most other benefits.
“I AM IN EMOTIONAL DISTRESS AS A DIRECT CONSEQUENCE OF PIP”
“I cannot handle stress, hence hate making phone calls or talking to peoplewho cause me stress”.
I phoned last week 10th & 11th of November 2022 and today 14th of November 2022 and explained I needed a digital form to send to them and their response was “sorry we currently do not have the form”.
Why make it difficult? all documents are on a database and all are stored on servers somewhere.
I explained I do not have a social worker (I felt this comment degrading, I am not that mentally disabled that I would need a social worker), and I stated I have many sensitive documents to send (which I cannot send in the post) which not only would cost me a fortune in printing and postal fees but could also jeopardize my privacy.
I am anxious about the humiliation I will have to endure with the assessment like my medical records are not enough evidence.
In fact, I found a letter that was archived confirming my article and health condition.
I am the Editor of Disability UK – Disabled Entrepreneur Online Journal which I own, I am also the Editor of other online publications, which are all under the www.ukwebsitedesigners.co.uk umbrella.
There is nothing wrong with my intellectual brain (Nikola Tesla had OCD).I am an abled-bodied person although I have physical and mental problems as referenced in my letters sent to my GP, which can be confirmed on my medical records. I just have issues dealing with people who stress me out, I cannot cope very well with stress and anxiety, and have a problem dealing with germ contamination. My mental health is an issue to include:
OCD
Intrusive Thoughts
Depression
Stress
Anxiety
Emotional Distress
Procrastination
My Daily Life Routine
I have everything delivered, my grocery, my prescription, and take-outs. I have a business and do everything online, there is nothing I cannot do, other than send PIP Review forms back. 🤣😂
“I can adapt my life around my disability”.
“I am able to cook and clean and do all the usual things anyone else can do with the aid of disposable latex gloves and sanitizing products”.
“I just find it difficult to interact with the outside physical world.
(Wearing latex gloves in public is embarrassing)”.
Although this is tongue-in-cheek humor, (Obviously, this video is a joke, someone with OCD would not allow anything to touch the floor (the spray bottle and backpack touched the floor). However, there is a serious side to OCD where I have been known in the past to sanitize public seating before sitting down. I once cleaned a window sill at a hospital before putting down my laptop and showed the dirt to the doctor, who turned around and said and I quote “I am not a cleaner, take it up with the ward manager”. It got to the stage where I refused to sit in the GP waiting area or in the office. I now avoid public humiliation, germ cross-contamination,and social interaction as much as possible. I now live in a sanitized quarantined home and do everything online. I am happy to keep my own company!
“I can manage my finances and run a business and can give support to anyone that needs me”.
(I prefer not to have incoming calls unscheduled as I could be working and do not want to be disturbed), plus the fact I prefer to communicate online rather than talk over the phone, phone calls cause me stress – phone phobia.
“Phone calls cause me anxiety”.
What happened to being eco-friendly and saving the planet?
I carried on saying, I do not go out, I run a business and the easiest way is to send a digital copy, (every organization on this planet has online or digital downloadable forms, but PIP doesn’t). Even the gov website has online forms inclusive of tax returns and renewals of working tax & child credits.
PIP has made me emotionally distressed.
I also confirmed the email address (contactus@capita-pip.co.uk) I would send the information to and was told “sorry this is not the email address it is for appealsand renewals, not reviews“. Quick thinking I replied that in the subject line I would say please forward this to the relevant person to which the agent replied “you cannot send it there because it may never be seen”.
I also stated this was causing me anxiety, so the agent said she would phone me back in an hour, which she did, and said she could send someone over. I replied because of my OCD I do not have people coming over, besides I run a business and cannot stop my business to stop and chat or fill out forms. How on earth am I supposed to forward sensitive data to a complete stranger?
Telephone Confusion!
(Which has caused me anxiety)!
The agent also gave me the option to get my daughter to send in the form but again I do not want the sensitive data sent in the post, she then asked when my daughter was coming back from UNI.
I did not clock on what the assessor meant until we ended the call.(I suffer from cognitive impairment due to my cerebellar atrophy), all I remember the assessor saying was “so you do not know when your daughter finishes uni” repeating it twice.
My daughter lives with me and goes to a local university I do not know her timetable so do not know when she finishes uni on any given day. But I guess the assessor thought my daughter travels or lives away.
I guess where the confusion came from when the assessor said do I have anyone to fill in the form or post it on my behalf, I said I only have my daughter but she goes to uni and what I should have continued to say is too busy to do errands for me.
It’s usually the other way around, I do all the writing, and phone calls (virtual landline) if I really need to. (I spoke to PIP 4 times over this review), and chasing on my daughter’s behalf but strictly online.
I am Super Stressed by this Review!“This is why I hate talking over the phone”!
Can of Worms.
This personal independence payment review is going to open up a can of worms because not only with my GP not responding to my letters other confirmation that they were received and put on the system but the breach in GDPR by having a cluster pharmacist tell me she had read my letter which was not addressed to her and was marked private and confidential.
I am now stuck between a rock and a hard place. I will send the form to the email I have regardless and see what happens but I will also contact pip again on Monday 14th to see if they can access this article to download, (I did that and the person said due to security reasons he could not access my site), even though I said I had embedded a PDF, including screenshots of the form to view online or download. No one then can argue they cannot access my review. I hate all the stress, I do not need it in my life.
“There is no cure for OCD”!
My OCD is not curable, so why does PIP think my OCD has miraculously got better? considering I have suffered with it for the best part of 30 years, in fact, the more stressed I am the worse my OCD gets. I use on average 200 pairs of latex gloves a week and do not interact with the outside world other than online. I will also send proof of invoices from Amazon on how much I spend.
I actually noticed an error in my letter on page 3, this is my cognitive impairment playing up because within the same sentence I said I use 200 pairs of gloves (I should have said (200 pairs per week ) which would be 1000 pairs, not 500 as stated. I jumble up words when I get stressed. I have not amended this error just to prove a point. Normally when I do content writing I read the article 20 times or more and get a second set of eyes.
Final Thoughts
No one can argue I never submitted or published my PIP review on time.
In fact, with the stress I have had to endure with my attempted communication, I have filled in the form which has caused my OCD to flare up and it is being sent this Wednesday recorded and signed for. The whole process could have been dealt with differently without it being degrading and humiliating.
But what I stated in the form which caused me a lot of distress filling it in, is that I will be contacting the health secretary Rt Hon Steve Barclay, and will be asking the Politicians who have OCD to comment on their disabilities and see if they are treated the same way and how they cope with the disorder.
I should not have to feel like I am bonkers. It does not help when I am trying to heal and have people question me even after I have attempted to show proof.
I have shown evidence of one of my disabilities online (OCD). I know there is a protocol that PIP needs to adhere, to assess people but at least treat people with dignity and not degrade them, make life easier by doing online forms, saving the government money, printing and sending out paper forms (This in itself costs the government money), thus also helping to save the planet from carbon emissions and it would be less stressful for people with disabilities that perhaps have problems filling out physical forms like myself.
I read that the NHS wastes £100m a year sending out letters so how much does it cost the government to send out PIP forms by post?
“Just because I am disabled does not stop me from doing things, I just have to adapt to my surrounding to fit in with my disabilities”.
“My disabilities do not define me or stop me from following my dream”.
“Go Digital, Save Money & the Planet”
One final last thing I would have had an assessment sooner with my GP over my mental health had they bothered to contact me, seeing as I wrote two very detailed letters which were confirmed by the practice manager that they had been received and had been put on the system, but no clinician contacted me regarding my most recent letter, even though it stated in the email someone would.
Procrastination is the act of delaying or putting off tasks until the last minute, or past their deadline. Some researchers define procrastination as a “form of self-regulation failure characterized by the irrational delay of tasks despite potentially negative consequences.” According to Joseph Ferrari, a professor of psychology at DePaul University in Chicago and author of “Still Procrastinating: The No Regret Guide to Getting It Done,” around 20% of U.S. adults are chronic procrastinators.
Normally I am a well-organized individual and keep a business journal of things to do which I tick off once completed. But lately, even the to-do lists just lie there collecting dust.
I would much rather surf the net, watch movies and documentaries, and daydream rather than tackle more important issues. I find I can waste my whole day away simply doing nothing.
I lack motivation and enthusiasm and what once interested me no longer has the same appeal.
I think the only way I can get out of the rut I am in is to set goals because if I carry on like a robot I will not reap my rewards.
I have to stop worrying and think where there is an obstacle there is a solution to each problem and rather than avoid it tackle it head-on, with the attitude whatever will be will be. I am fortunate I can write so if there is a problem I can communicate in writing. My writing skills are my superpower.
If something is too hard to complete in one go, break it down into smaller modules.
As an example, I have a client that wants some articles written, and although I have semi-written them they go over the word count quota in which I am finding it difficult to make it shorter, hence am avoiding this person. I should by rights just say the articles will cost more than what he is prepared to pay or just accept his offer and not do any more work for him.
I am guilty of this, I may do everything than the task at hand. I may spend more time watching Netflix than doing my work. I sometimes lack motivation especially when I have things on my mind which are worrying me. People tend to procrastinate and waste countless hours on trivial pursuits (watching TV, updating their Facebook statuses, shopping online) rather than doing actual work or focusing on more important things.
Regardless if you have deadlines to meet and are putting off finishing a project for work, avoiding homework assignments, or ignoring household chores, procrastination can cause significant repercussions and have a major impact on your job, your grades, and your life.
Sometimes people have mental blocks and sometimes if something is troubling them they may avoid doing what urgently needs to be done.
Rather than run away from the problem tackle it head-on. There is no use trying to sweep it under the carpet because it will always be in the back of your mind.
You need to find the strength to deal with it.
Causes
Never leave things to the last minute, because if you do you will make things worse for yourself, you will make errors because you are hurrying and may not put all your thought into whatever you are trying to achieve. Students especially should give plenty of time to research, study, and understand.
Putting things off to the last minute may not give you ample time to finish the job.
You essentially will get yourself more worked up and stressed whereas if you had done it sooner you would not be in a fluster.
Don’t assume that projects won’t take as long to finish, this can lead to a false sense of security when you believe that you still have plenty of time to complete the tasks.
Staying focused and tackling undesirable jobs can help the job to be done quickly even though you may not always feel motivated. The reality is that if you wait until you’re in the right frame of mind to do certain tasks (especially ones you are not particularly looking forward to), you will probably find that the right time may never come and the task will never be completed.
Academics
A report published in 2007 on a meta-analysis in the Psychological Bulletin found that an outstanding 80% to 95% of college students procrastinated on a regular basis, especially when it came to completing assignments and coursework. According to researchers, there are some major cognitive distortions that lead to academic procrastination.
Students tend to:
Be bad at time management and may overestimate or underestimate how much time they have left to perform tasks and
Lack motivation
Assume that they need to be in the right frame of mind to work
What Is Cognitive Bias?
Depression
Stress and depression can cause procrastination. It is the ability to avoid doing something that may urgently need doing and preoccupying one’s mind with something else that may be trivial. Feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and a lack of energy can make it difficult to start (and finish) the simplest task. As an example, I have so many projects waiting to be written and I keep putting them off. I find I am a daydreamer and somehow am willing the projects to miraculously get written by themselves. I have decided to get this post published otherwise it would have lingered in my drafts. Depression can also lead to self-doubt. When you can’t figure out how to tackle a project or feel insecure about your abilities, you might find it easier to put it off.
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)
MY OCD is germ contamination, but I do have traits of perfectionism to make sure my articles are well-written and proofread before publication.
OCD is often linked with maladaptive perfectionism, which causes fears and anxieties about not messing things up or making new mistakes. It can also lead to doubts about whether you are doing something properly and worrying about what others may think of you or their expectations of you.
I am usually very organized and decisive although it is said that people with OCD also often have a propensity toward indecision, causing them to procrastinate rather than make an active decision. (This is true to a certain degree for me, because if I am anxious about a certain task I may avoid doing it or postpone it to the very last minute).
ADHD
Research has found many adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) find it hard to concentrate and thus struggle with procrastination.
A person who is not focused and is distracted with intrusive thoughts can find it hard to get started on a task, especially if that task is difficult or not interesting to them.
Is Procrastination a Mental Illness?
Although procrastination is not defined as a mental illness, in some cases, it may be symptomatic of an underlying mental health condition such as depression, OCD, or ADHD.
Why Do You Procrastinate?
When it comes to procrastination we often come up with a number of excuses to justify why we avoid doing things. According to researchers, there are 15 key reasons why people say they procrastinate:
Being unsure of what needs to be done
Being unsure of how to do something
Avoiding wanting to do something
Not bothered if it gets done or not
Not bothered when something gets done
Not being in the mood
Leaving things till the last minute
Thinking that you work better under pressure
Believing that you can finish it at the last minute
Lacking the motivation to get started
Not remembering to start something
Using sickness or poor health as an excuse
Believing that the best time to start is at the right moment
Thinking you need time to plan the task
Postponing one task in favor of working on another
Types of Procrastination
Some researchers classify two types of procrastinators: passive and active procrastinators.
Passive procrastinators: Postpone tasks because they have trouble making decisions and acting on them
Active procrastinators: Postpone tasks deliberately because working under pressure allows them motivated
Perfectionist: Avoiding tasks out of the fear of not being able to complete the job perfectly
Dreamer: Postpones or avoids tasks because they cannot complete the job thoroughly
Defier: Someone that believes their time cannot be dictated and they are in full control
Worrier: Postpones or Avoids tasks out of fear of change or leaving the comfort zone.
Crisis-maker: Postpones or avoids tasks because they like working under pressure and cannot deal with the stress
Overdoer: Someone that takes on too many jobs which may become overwhelming and may struggle to find time to start and complete one job never may several
Procrastinators vs. Non-Procrastinators
“Non-procrastinators do not have a care in the world they are very focused individuals that have good time management and can work under pressure and to deadlines. Non-procrastinators are assertive with strong personal identity do not care what others think about them. According to psychologist Piers Steel, people who don’t procrastinate tend to be high in the personality trait known as conscientiousness, one of the broad dispositions identified by the Big Five theory of personality. People who are high in conscientiousness also tend to be high in other areas including self-discipline, persistence, and personal responsibility.
Procrastination
When procrastination becomes chronic, it may begin to have a serious impact on a person’s daily life and this can become a serious issue. In such instances, it’s not just a matter of having poor time management skills, it’s a major part of their lifestyle.
Procrastinators may avoid paying their bills on time, may come into work late, or delay starting assignments until the night before the deadline, this could include delaying gift shopping until the day before a birthday, and even filing their income tax returns late.
Procrastination can have a serious impact on a person’s daily life routine, this, in turn, can cause serious health issues including mental health. Social, professional, and financial well-being can be affected including:
Significant higher levels of stress and illness
The increased burden placed on social relationships
People not understanding which leads to resentment from friends, family, co-workers, and fellow students
Financial Difficulty from the consequences of late bills and late payment charges.
Overcoming Procrastination
Re-wire your mind, control your thoughts and stay focused.
Create a critical time path and map out each task in a journal or calendar, and set reminders.
Create a to-do list: To help keep you on track, consider placing a due date next to each item.
Take each step at a time, do not rush, and tick off each completed task. Take baby steps: Consider breaking down the items on your list into small, manageable steps.
Have time to meditate for 5 mins in the morning and 5 minutes before you go to bed.
Recognize intrusive thoughts and the warning signs, pay attention to any thoughts of procrastination and do your best to resist the urge. When you have a negative thought quickly put that thought into your imaginary bin and quickly replace it with a positive thought.
Create a tranquil setting where you cannot be disturbed. Eliminate all distractions including social media if you do not use them for business use.
Be self-disciplined, be assertive, and try to work slowly and take one task at a time.
Reward yourself with a self-gift for every task completed, it could be a simple bar of chocolate to a more expensive present you have been meaning to buy yourself. Knowing that once you have completed your task and looking forward to receiving your well-deserved purchase makes the job even more worthwhile.
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