Category: Negative Emotions (Page 1 of 4)

25 Signs Your Family Do Not Care

September 26, 2023 / Andrew Jones

25 Signs Your Family Do Not Care

Family is often considered the cornerstone of support and love in our lives. It’s where we turn to in times of need, seeking comfort, understanding, and care. However, not all families live up to this ideal. There are situations where individuals find themselves in families that do not provide the love and care they deserve.

However, in some cases, individuals find themselves facing a disheartening reality: their family may not seem to care about them. While this can be emotionally challenging, it’s essential to understand that there can be various reasons behind this apparent lack of care. In this article, we’ll explore some of the common factors that might explain why your family may not seem as invested in your well-being as you’d hope.

Communication Breakdown: One of the primary reasons behind a family’s seeming lack of care is a breakdown in communication. Effective communication is the bedrock of any healthy relationship, and when it falters, misunderstandings and feelings of indifference can arise. Lack of open dialogue, or poor listening skills can lead to a sense that your family doesn’t care, even when they may genuinely want to be supportive. One of the most apparent signs is a lack of communication. If your family members rarely engage in meaningful conversations with you, it can be a sign that they don’t care about your thoughts and feelings. If they are more interested in another member of the family and completely disregard your health or your goals and never ask how you are doing this means they have no interest in you or your aspirations. When an individual flaunts their wealth with little regard for another family member who may not have the financial stability to do the same, it reflects a lack of empathy and sensitivity within the family dynamic. Such behavior can create feelings of inadequacy and resentment, deepening the divide between family members. It’s important for family members to support one another and prioritize empathy and understanding, rather than exacerbating disparities in financial status. True familial bonds are built on compassion, cooperation, and the recognition that everyone’s circumstances are unique, warranting a more considerate approach to wealth and privilege.
Personal Struggles: Sometimes, family members have their own personal struggles that can preoccupy them. These could include financial problems, health issues, or emotional challenges. When they are dealing with their own difficulties, such as grief, depression, anxiety, and stress, they may not have the emotional capacity or energy to fully support you, leading to the perception that they don’t care.
Different Priorities: Families are made up of diverse individuals with varying priorities and interests. What is important to you might not align with what is essential to other family members. For instance, if you prioritize a creative career while your family values financial stability, they may not seem to care about your pursuits. Understanding these differences in priorities can help bridge the gap in perceptions.
Emotional Distance: Sometimes, emotional distance can develop between family members due to past conflicts, unresolved issues, or growing apart. This emotional gap can lead to a sense of indifference. Family dynamics can change over time, and it’s essential to work on mending relationships when needed. When your family members actively avoid spending time with you or isolate themselves from you, it can be a heartbreaking sign that they do not care about your presence in their lives.
Unresolved Issues: Unresolved issues from the past can linger and create a barrier to a caring relationship within the family. These issues might include unresolved conflicts, resentments, or deep-seated disagreements. Addressing these issues through open and honest conversations can help rebuild the bonds of care within the family. If they threaten legal action, in your pursuits to make your life better, this should raise a red flag.
Different Love Languages: People express love and care in different ways, often referred to as “love languages.” While some individuals show love through acts of service or words of affirmation, others may express it through quality time or physical touch. If your family members have different love languages than you, it can lead to a misperception that they don’t care, even if they do love you deeply in their own way.
Cultural and Generational Differences: Cultural and generational differences can also play a significant role in how family members express care and concern. What may be considered a sign of affection in one culture might not hold the same meaning in another. Similarly, older generations might have different values and ways of showing love compared to younger ones.
Ignoring your achievements: When your accomplishments go unnoticed or are met with indifference by your family, it can be disheartening. A caring family should celebrate your successes, big or small. When you are a small business that relies on spreading brand awareness and you have sent multiple invites to, like, and share your posts and pages and you get nothing, this means they do not value you or your business.
Neglecting your needs: If your basic needs for food, shelter, or emotional support are consistently overlooked or dismissed, it’s a strong indicator that your family is not prioritizing your well-being.
No emotional support: A lack of emotional support during difficult times can make you feel isolated and unloved. Your family should be there to provide comfort and understanding during challenging moments. If you have reached out to them and they promised they would respond but never have, this could mean they find it difficult and would rather avoid rather than help.
Constant criticism: Families should offer constructive feedback and encouragement, not constant criticism and judgment. If your family is overly critical, it can erode your self-esteem.
They are dismissive: If your family dismisses your concerns, opinions, or emotions without a second thought, it’s a clear sign that they are not valuing your perspective.
Motivation and Empowerment: If your family does not show interest in what you do and does not support, motivate, or empower you, this means they simply do not want you to succeed. There could be a range of reasons why, but one of them could be jealousy.
You’re the black sheep: Being constantly singled out or ostracized within your family is a strong sign of a lack of care. In a loving family, everyone should feel included and accepted.
No interest in your life: If your family shows no genuine interest in your hobbies, passions, or life events, it can be hurtful and isolating.
Inconsistent support: Your family should be consistently supportive, but if they only show care when it’s convenient for them or when they need something, it’s a red flag.
Lack of boundaries: A family that doesn’t respect your personal boundaries may not be genuinely concerned about your comfort and well-being.
Dealing with family members who expect you to drop everything without regard for your existing commitments or business responsibilities can be incredibly challenging. Such expectations can strain relationships and disrupt your life, often without consideration for the consequences of abandoning your obligations. It’s essential to communicate your boundaries and priorities clearly, balancing your love and support for your family with the need to maintain your own responsibilities and well-being.
They gaslight you: Gaslighting involves manipulating someone into questioning their reality. If your family frequently employs this tactic, it can indicate a lack of empathy and care.
Neglecting your health: Your family should be concerned about your physical and mental health but should keep a safe space and respect boundaries. Neglecting your well-being is a clear sign of indifference. However, this can also be a double-edged sword, where your family may criticize you for your non-existent exercise or eating habits. Whilst they may mean well they can come across as know-it-alls and be condescending.
Lack of Understanding: When your family demonstrates a lack of understanding regarding your health disabilities, life choices, and business endeavors, it can be disheartening and isolating. It’s essential to remember that everyone’s journey is unique, and empathy and support from loved ones are crucial. Open and honest communication can help bridge the gap, fostering a more compassionate environment where your choices and challenges are acknowledged and respected. Your health, choices, and business aspirations deserve recognition and understanding, just like anyone else’s, as you navigate your own path in life.
They exclude you: If your family consistently excludes you from important family events or gatherings, it can be a sign that they don’t want you to be a part of their lives. Exclusion from family events can stem from various reasons, often tied to interpersonal conflicts, misunderstandings, or differences in values and beliefs. It might be due to unresolved disputes, jealousy, or even a desire to protect family members from potential disagreements. Sometimes, it could also be a result of personal choices or lifestyles that family members may find difficult to accept. Effective communication and efforts to address underlying issues are crucial for healing and potentially reestablishing a sense of belonging within the family circle.
No financial support: While financial support may not always be possible, a complete lack of assistance during times of need can be a sign that your family does not prioritize your welfare.
Manipulation and control: A controlling or manipulative family dynamic can be emotionally damaging. Caring families respect individual autonomy.
They belittle you: Constant belittling and undermining of your self-esteem is a sign of emotional abuse and a lack of care. They judge you about every little thing from your finances to how you live your life, or go behind your back to try and find out things about you, rather than asking you outright.
Emotional or physical abuse: Any form of abuse within a family is a severe sign that your well-being is not a priority. Seek help and support if you are in this situation.

The Weight of Family’s Lack of Support: Impact on Mental Health

It can have a profound impact on an individual’s mental health if your family gives you a lack of support in your well-being and finances. The absence of familial backing can manifest in various ways, affecting emotional well-being, self-esteem, and overall mental stability.

Emotional Strain and Isolation: When family members fail to provide the needed support, individuals can experience feelings of isolation and loneliness. The sense of being disconnected from one’s own family can be emotionally devastating. This isolation can lead to depression, anxiety, and a host of other mental health issues as individuals struggle to cope with the void created by the absence of familial support.
Self-Esteem and Self-Worth: Family is often where we derive our sense of self-worth and identity. When family members do not show support or appreciation for an individual’s goals, choices, or achievements, it can erode self-esteem. Constant criticism or indifference can lead to a negative self-image and hinder personal growth and development.
Stress and Anxiety: Family conflict or a lack of support can lead to chronic stress and anxiety. The constant tension and emotional turmoil associated with strained familial relationships can take a toll on an individual’s mental health, often resulting in a state of heightened anxiety and persistent stress.
Impacts on Decision-Making: The absence of family support can also affect an individual’s decision-making process. Fear of judgment or disapproval from family members can lead to self-doubt and hesitancy in pursuing one’s goals or aspirations. This, in turn, can stifle personal growth and lead to feelings of regret or unfulfillment.
Seeking Professional Help: When faced with a lack of familial support and its adverse effects on mental health, seeking professional help is a crucial step. Therapists and counselors can provide valuable guidance and strategies to cope with emotional distress, rebuild self-esteem, and develop healthy coping mechanisms.
Building Support Networks: While family support is invaluable, it’s essential to remember that support can come from various sources. Building a strong network of friends, mentors, or support groups can help mitigate the effects of a family’s lack of support. These individuals can offer the understanding, validation, and encouragement that may be missing within the family circle.

Conclusion

Recognizing that your family may not care about you can be a painful and difficult realization. It’s essential to remember that you deserve love, care, and support in your life. If you identify with several of the signs mentioned above, consider seeking professional help or reaching out to friends and support networks to create a more nurturing and caring environment for yourself.

When your family blows you off and cancels meetings/appointments at the last minute or makes snide innuendos about but life, finances, and health you have to decide do you need to have toxic people in your life.

When your family brags about their achievements, and their material expenditures, their world adventures, whilst you may be struggling to make ends meet and they give you no support in terms of liking and sharing your social media posts and connection requests, you have to decide if is it worth you having them in your life. When you share good news and they ignore you, you have to ask yourself why they are behaving the way they do. Don’t hold grudges, just move on, one day they will live to regret their actions.

Understanding the reasons behind this perception can help you navigate these complex dynamics and work towards building healthier, more supportive relationships within your family. Effective communication, empathy, and a willingness to address underlying issues can go a long way in bridging the gap and fostering a stronger sense of care and connection among family members.

The absence of family support can have a profound and lasting impact on an individual’s mental health. It’s crucial to recognize the signs of this issue and seek professional help when needed. Additionally, cultivating alternative support networks can provide the emotional reinforcement necessary to navigate the challenges created by a family’s lack of understanding and support. Ultimately, taking care of one’s mental health is a deeply personal and essential journey, even when family support is not readily available.

Abusive Relationships – What Women Should Do

September 26, 2023 / Andrew Jones / 0 Comments

Man Covering Woman's mouth — **Image Credit**

Abusive Relationships – What Women Should Do

Abusive Relationships – Empowering Women to Take Control

Abusive relationships are a painful reality for many women across the globe. These toxic relationships can take many forms, including emotional, physical, or psychological abuse, and can leave lasting scars on the survivors. It is crucial to understand that no one should ever tolerate abuse in any form, and women, in particular, should be empowered to take control of their lives and seek help when needed. In this article, we will explore what women should do if they find themselves in an abusive relationship.

Recognize the Signs

The first step in addressing an abusive relationship is recognizing the signs. Abuse is not limited to physical violence; it can manifest in various ways, such as controlling behavior, verbal insults, isolation from friends and family, or financial manipulation. It’s essential to understand that abuse is never the survivor’s fault and is never justified. By recognizing the signs of abuse, women can take the first step toward regaining control of their lives.

Seek Support

One of the most critical steps for women in abusive relationships is seeking support. This support can come from trusted friends and family members who can provide emotional and practical assistance. It’s vital to remember that you don’t have to go through this alone. Reach out to those who care about you and let them know what you’re going through.

Additionally, organizations and hotlines dedicated to helping survivors of abuse are available in many countries. These resources can provide guidance, information, and a safe space to discuss your situation. The National Domestic Violence Hotline in the United States, for example, offers confidential support 24/7.

Safety Planning

Safety planning is a crucial component of leaving an abusive relationship. This involves creating a plan to ensure your safety and the safety of any dependents, such as children or pets. A safety plan may include:

Identifying a safe place to go in case of emergency.
Keeping important documents (e.g., ID, passport, financial records) in a secure location.
Develop a code word or signal to use with trusted friends or family members when you need help.
Establishing a support network of people who can provide emotional and practical assistance.
Saving money or securing access to financial resources.

Legal Protections

Understanding your legal rights and protections is essential when dealing with an abusive relationship. Laws and regulations vary by country and jurisdiction, but common legal protections may include restraining orders, custody and visitation rights for children, and financial support.

Consulting with an attorney who specializes in family law or domestic violence can provide valuable guidance on navigating the legal aspects of leaving an abusive relationship.

Therapy and Counseling

Healing from the trauma of an abusive relationship often requires professional help. Therapy and counseling can provide survivors with the tools and coping mechanisms needed to rebuild their lives and regain their self-esteem. Individual therapy, group therapy, or support groups specifically for survivors of abuse can be immensely beneficial.

Self-Care and Self-Compassion

Recovering from an abusive relationship can be a long and challenging journey. It’s crucial for women to prioritize self-care and self-compassion during this process. Taking care of your physical and mental well-being, setting boundaries, and practicing self-love are essential steps toward healing.

What is the definition of a narcissist?

A narcissist is a person who displays excessive self-centeredness, a strong sense of entitlement, and a lack of empathy for others. Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is a psychological condition that characterizes individuals with these traits to an extreme degree. While not everyone with narcissistic traits has NPD, those with the disorder typically exhibit the following key characteristics:

Grandiosity: Narcissists have an inflated sense of self-importance and a belief that they are special, unique, or superior to others.
Fantasies of Success, Power, or Beauty: They often daydream about achieving greatness, power, or physical attractiveness.
Need for Admiration: Narcissists crave constant admiration and validation from others and often seek it relentlessly.
Sense of Entitlement: They believe they are entitled to special treatment and may exploit others to achieve their goals or meet their needs.
Lack of Empathy: Narcissists struggle to recognize or understand the feelings and needs of others, leading to a lack of empathy and often insensitive behavior.
Manipulative and Exploitative Behavior: They may use others to further their own interests without regard for the other person’s well-being.
Fragile Self-Esteem: Despite their outward confidence, narcissists can have fragile self-esteem that is easily wounded by criticism or perceived slights.
Envy and Belief That Others Are Envious: Narcissists may feel jealous of others’ successes and assume that others are envious of them.

It’s important to note that narcissism exists on a spectrum, and not all individuals who exhibit narcissistic traits have NPD. Some level of narcissism is common in human behavior, and it can be healthy to have a certain amount of self-esteem and self-confidence. However, when these traits become extreme and interfere with a person’s ability to maintain healthy relationships and function in society, it may be indicative of Narcissistic Personality Disorder.

Dealing with a narcissist can be challenging, as they often have difficulty acknowledging their behavior and seeking help. If you believe you are in a relationship with a narcissist or are struggling with narcissistic tendencies yourself, seeking guidance from a mental health professional can be beneficial.

Narcissists often use manipulative tactics to control and manipulate their victims. It’s important to be aware of these tactics so that you can recognize them and seek help if you are in an abusive relationship.

Here are 20 common behaviors that narcissists and abusers may use to control their victims:

Gaslighting: They will make you doubt your own perceptions, memory, and sanity by denying things they’ve said or done.
Isolation: They may isolate you from friends and family, making you more dependent on them.
Verbal Abuse: This includes name-calling, yelling, and belittling you to undermine your self-esteem.
Silent Treatment: They may use this tactic to punish you and exert control by withholding communication.
Threats: Narcissists and abusers may threaten to harm you, themselves, or someone you care about to keep you in line.
Financial Control: They may control your finances, making you financially dependent on them.
Monitoring: They might excessively monitor your activities, including texts, calls, and social media, to keep tabs on you.
Manipulation: Using guilt, pity, or other emotions to get what they want or to make you feel responsible for their actions.
Triangulation: They may involve a third party to create jealousy or insecurity in your relationship.
Projecting Blame: They often blame you for their actions or problems, never taking responsibility themselves.
Love-Bombing: At the beginning of the relationship, they may shower you with affection and attention to gain your trust.
Demeaning Jokes: They may disguise insults as humor, making you feel like you’re too sensitive if you’re hurt.
Selective Amnesia: Narcissists might conveniently forget promises or agreements that don’t serve their interests.
Stonewalling: They refuse to communicate or cooperate, leaving you feeling powerless and frustrated.
Emotional Blackmail: Threatening to harm themselves or end the relationship if you don’t comply with their wishes.
Invasion of Privacy: They may go through your personal belongings or invade your personal space without permission.
Minimizing Your Accomplishments: They belittle your achievements to maintain a feeling of superiority.
Guilt-Tripping: They make you feel guilty for asserting your needs or boundaries.
Playing the Victim: Narcissists often play the victim to gain sympathy and manipulate your actions.
Love Withdrawal: They may withdraw affection, attention, or intimacy as a form of punishment or control.

It’s crucial to remember that if you suspect you are in an abusive relationship, seek support from friends, family, or professionals who can help you navigate the situation and find ways to ensure your safety and well-being. Leaving an abusive relationship can be challenging, so it’s important to have a support system in place.

Conclusion

Abusive relationships are a painful and unacceptable reality for far too many women. However, it’s essential to remember that there is help and support available. No one should have to endure abuse, and every woman deserves to live a life free from fear and oppression. By recognizing the signs of abuse, seeking support, and taking proactive steps to ensure safety and healing, women can break free from abusive relationships and regain control of their lives.

Although you may feel your world is crumbling down around you, you can turn the situation around.

If you live together hatch a plan either wait for the first opportunity and lock him/her out and then phone the police or if you live under his/her roof have an emergency bag available and leave at the first opportunity. Make sure you have all your important documents and valuables packed. Have some money stashed away, even if it is only for a taxi, and go to the nearest police station. From there they will guide you in the right direction.

Do try and learn all the resources that are available and we have compiled a list here! It may seem scary to start a new life from scratch but millions of people do this every single day, you are not alone. Join mentoring groups.

If the abuser is the main breadwinner, there is financial help available.

Think of this way if immigrants are housed in hotels you will not find yourself homeless.

You will breathe a sigh of relief once you make the move and start living independently without being in danger. You can start feeling happy again.

A lot of women do not leave because they have feelings for the abuser even though they know they are behaving irrationally, (remember this person will not change no matter what you do). Some women do not leave because they are too scared to start a life independently and have depended on the abuser for so long.

“Make the break before it is too late”!

“A person who abuses another does not care or love you. A person who loves you will keep you on a pedestal and will not harm you in any way. A person who loves you will be your protector, not your attacker”.

Every time he/she apologizes after you get slapped, means nothing, a leopard does not change its spots and he/she will not change, in fact, the more it goes on the more confident they become that they can do it again to control you, because you have done nothing to stop them.

Never give second chances, do not believe the sob stories that they will change. They only say this because they are vulnerable and desperate and you are removing their oxygen.

Do not let it get out of hand because your life is more important and leaving it could cost you your life.

Remember, you are not alone, and there is hope for a brighter future.

When Your Family Does Not Support You.

April 24, 2023 / EDITOR / 1 Comment

When Your Family Does Not Support You.

One of the biggest challenges we can face in life is when our own family does not support us. It can be a deeply painful experience, leaving us feeling alone, misunderstood, and even betrayed. Whether we’re pursuing a particular career, making a major life decision, or simply trying to live our lives on our own terms, the lack of support from those closest to us can be incredibly discouraging.

However, it’s important to recognize that this is a common experience that many people go through. It can happen for a variety of reasons, such as different beliefs or values, personal biases or resentments, or simply a lack of understanding. In some cases, family members may even be actively trying to hold us back, out of fear or jealousy.

Whatever the reason, it’s important to remember that you are not alone in this. Many people have overcome similar challenges and gone on to achieve great success and happiness in their lives, without family interactions.

Here are some strategies to help you navigate this difficult situation:

Focus on your own goals and dreams: When faced with unsupportive family members, it can be easy to get caught up in their negativity and start to doubt yourself. However, it’s important to remember that your own goals and dreams are what matter most. Stay focused on what you want to achieve, and don’t let anyone else’s opinions or doubts hold you back.
Find support elsewhere: While it’s important to have the support of our families, it’s not always possible. In these situations, it’s important to seek out support elsewhere. This could be through friends, mentors, or even online communities. Look for people who share your values and goals, and who can provide you with the encouragement and support you need.
Communicate openly: In some cases, it may be possible to improve the situation by communicating openly with your family members. Try to approach the conversation from a place of understanding and compassion, and be clear about what you need from them. However, be prepared for the possibility that they may not be willing or able to change their attitudes.
Don’t take it personally: It’s important to remember that your family members’ lack of support is not a reflection of your worth or value as a person. Often, their attitudes are more about their own fears and insecurities than anything to do with you. Try not to take their negativity personally, and focus instead on building your own self-confidence and resilience.
Keep moving forward: It’s important to keep moving forward toward your goals, even in the face of opposition. This may mean making difficult decisions or sacrifices along the way, but ultimately, it’s your life to live. Stay true to yourself and your values, and trust that you will find your way to success and happiness, even without the support of your family.

List of Things Your Family May Not Support You In.

Families can be a source of love and support, but sometimes they may not understand or support certain choices or decisions we make in life. Here are some examples of things your family may not support you in:

Your career choice
Your educational pursuits
Your romantic relationships
Your religious or spiritual beliefs
Your lifestyle choices (e.g. vegetarianism, minimalism, etc.)
Your political views
Your creative passions (e.g. art, music, writing, etc.)
Your financial decisions
Your personal goals and ambitions
Your mental health needs or treatment
Your sexuality or gender identity
Your choice to leave or distance yourself from the family
Your decision to start a family or have children
Your choice of friends or social circle
Your personal appearance or style choices.

How Your Mental Health Is Affected.

When your family does not support you, it can have a significant impact on your mental health. The lack of support can cause feelings of isolation, rejection, and self-doubt. It can also lead to stress, anxiety, and depression, as well as exacerbate pre-existing mental health conditions.

Here are some ways in which your mental health may be affected:

Increased stress and anxiety: The lack of support from your family can lead to increased stress and anxiety, especially if you feel like you are facing challenges alone. You may worry about making the right decisions, and the fear of failure may become overwhelming.
Feelings of isolation and loneliness: When your family does not support you, it can be a very isolating experience. You may feel like no one understands you or what you are going through, and this can lead to feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
Self-doubt and low self-esteem: The lack of support from your family can cause you to doubt your abilities and worth as a person. You may begin to question whether you are making the right choices or whether you are good enough to succeed.
Depression: The ongoing stress and feelings of isolation can lead to depression, especially if you are already prone to this condition. You may experience feelings of hopelessness, sadness, and loss of interest in activities you once enjoyed.
Substance abuse: In some cases, people may turn to drugs or alcohol as a way to cope with the stress and pain of not having the support of their family.

It’s important to take care of your mental health and seek support if you are struggling. Here are some things you can do to take care of yourself:

Practice self-care: Make time for activities that bring you joy and relaxation, such as exercise, hobbies, or spending time with supportive friends.
Seek professional help: Consider seeing a therapist or counselor who can help you process your feelings and develop coping strategies.
Connect with others: Find support through friends, support groups, or online communities that can offer encouragement and validation.
Set boundaries: It’s important to set boundaries with family members who are not supportive. This may mean limiting your interactions with them or being clear about what you need from them.
Practice self-compassion: Remember to be kind and compassionate towards yourself, and recognize that it’s not your fault if your family does not support you. Focus on your strengths and celebrate your successes, no matter how small they may seem.

The Impact On The Lack Of Empowerment & Motivation.

Empowerment and motivation are crucial elements for personal and professional growth. When individuals lack empowerment and motivation, their productivity and morale suffer, leading to negative consequences for both the individual and the organization they work for.

Family plays a significant role in an individual’s life, and when they do not empower or motivate, it can have a significant impact on the individual’s emotional and mental well-being. When family members do not provide support, encouragement, and motivation, it can lead to feelings of insecurity, low self-esteem, and lack of confidence.

A lack of empowerment and motivation from family members can affect an individual’s personal and professional life. In personal life, it can lead to difficulty in making decisions and taking ownership of their life. They may feel a lack of support and encouragement in pursuing their dreams and aspirations, leading to a sense of hopelessness and frustration.

In the professional sphere, a lack of empowerment and motivation from family members can lead to a lack of ambition and drive. Individuals may lack the confidence to take risks, pursue their goals, and take initiative at work. This can lead to a stagnant career, lack of fulfillment, and decreased job satisfaction.

Additionally, a lack of empowerment and motivation from family members can lead to strained relationships and emotional distress. Individuals may feel unappreciated and unsupported, leading to feelings of resentment and anger towards their family members. This can cause communication breakdowns and negative interactions, leading to a toxic family environment.

It is important for family members to provide emotional support, encouragement, and motivation to their loved ones. This can be done by actively listening to their concerns and providing constructive feedback, recognizing their achievements and efforts, and offering assistance and guidance in pursuing their goals.

A lack of empowerment and motivation from family members can have a significant impact on an individual’s emotional and mental well-being, as well as their personal and professional growth. It is crucial for family members to provide support, encouragement, and motivation to their loved ones, creating a positive and nurturing family environment that fosters personal and professional success.

Why Sometimes People, in General, Want You to Fail.

Success is an admirable goal that most people strive for in life. Whether it’s achieving professional success, personal goals, or even just small victories, the feeling of accomplishment is exhilarating. However, it’s an unfortunate reality that sometimes people, in general, want you to fail. This may come as a surprise, but it’s a common occurrence in both personal and professional settings. In this article, we’ll explore the reasons why this happens and how to overcome it.

Jealousy: Jealousy is perhaps the most common reason why people want others to fail. When someone is doing well, and they are achieving their goals, it can make others feel inadequate or envious. Instead of being happy for that person’s success, they want them to fail because it makes them feel better about themselves. It’s a toxic mindset that can lead to negative behaviors and attitudes.
Insecurity: Another reason why people want others to fail is insecurity. Sometimes people feel threatened by the success of others because it makes them feel less important or less capable. Insecurity can manifest in different ways, such as passive-aggressive behavior or even overt attempts to sabotage someone’s success. It’s important to recognize when someone is acting out of insecurity so that you can respond appropriately.
Competition: Competition can be healthy and motivating, but it can also be the reason why people want you to fail. In some cases, people may view your success as a threat to their own goals and aspirations. This can lead to a competitive mindset where they want to see you fail so that they can succeed. It’s important to remember that healthy competition is about pushing each other to be better, not tearing each other down.
Resentment: Resentment can be a powerful emotion that can drive people to want others to fail. When someone has wronged them in the past or has a history of being difficult to work with, it can be tempting to want them to fail. In some cases, this can be justified, but in others, it can be a toxic attitude that leads to negativity and resentment.
Schadenfreude: Schadenfreude is a German word that means taking pleasure in the misfortune of others. It’s a toxic mindset that can lead to negative behaviors and attitudes. When someone is experiencing success, it can be tempting to want to see them fail just so that you can feel better about yourself. However, this is a harmful attitude that can lead to a negative cycle of behavior.

So how do you overcome the desire for others to see you fail? Here are a few tips:

Focus on your goals: When you focus on your goals, you’re less likely to be distracted by what others are doing. Keep your eye on the prize and work hard to achieve your goals.
Surround yourself with positive people: Surrounding yourself with positive people who support and encourage you can help you overcome negativity from others. Having a supportive network of people can make all the difference when you’re trying to achieve your goals.
Stay humble: Staying humble can help you avoid the negative attitudes that come with success. Remember that success is a journey, not a destination, and be grateful for the opportunities you have.
Don’t engage in negative behavior: When someone is trying to bring you down, it can be tempting to engage in negative behavior in return. However, this only fuels the negativity and doesn’t solve anything. Instead, take the high road and stay positive.
Learn from failure: Failure is a natural part of the process. Instead of being discouraged by failure, use it as an opportunity to learn and grow. When you approach failure with a growth mindset, you’ll be better equipped to overcome the negativity of others.

How To Remove Negative People Out Of Your Life.

Surrounding yourself with positive and supportive individuals can make a significant difference in your life. However, negative people can drain your energy, cause stress, and create a toxic environment. Removing these individuals from your life can be challenging but necessary for your well-being. Here are some tips on how to remove negative people from your life.

Identify the negative individuals: It’s essential to identify the individuals who bring negativity into your life. These individuals may be family members, friends, colleagues, or acquaintances. They could be people who criticize, judge, belittle, or gossip about you or others. Once you identify these individuals, you can create a plan to remove them from your life.
Set boundaries: Setting boundaries is crucial when dealing with negative people. You need to communicate clearly what you will and won’t accept from others. This could mean limiting your interactions, reducing the time spent with them, or completely cutting off contact. Be firm and consistent with your boundaries, and don’t let others guilt-trip you into violating them.
Practice self-care: Removing negative people from your life can be emotionally challenging. Therefore, it’s essential to take care of yourself during this process. Practice self-care activities that help you relax and rejuvenate, such as yoga, meditation, exercise, or spending time with positive and supportive individuals.
Focus on the positive: Surround yourself with positive people and activities that uplift and inspire you. This could be joining a support group, volunteering, taking up a new hobby, or spending time with friends and family who bring positivity into your life.
Be selective: Be selective about the people you allow into your life. Surround yourself with individuals who share your values, interests, and goals. These individuals will support and motivate you to reach your full potential.
Seek professional help: Removing negative people from your life can be challenging, especially if you have a history with them. Seek professional help from a therapist or counselor to help you process your emotions and develop strategies to deal with challenging situations.

Removing negative people from your life can be a difficult but necessary step toward creating a more positive and fulfilling life. Remember to prioritize your well-being, set boundaries, and surround yourself with positive and supportive individuals. With time, you’ll see the positive impact of removing negative people from your life.

Why People Do Not Care:

It is a painful reality that some people do not care about us, even when we have shown them love and kindness. It is important to understand that this does not necessarily reflect on our worth as individuals, but rather on the complexities of human relationships.

There are several reasons why some people may not care about us. One reason is that they may have their own priorities, goals, and values that differ from ours. This can lead to a lack of interest in our lives or a lack of concern for our well-being. For example, if someone values material success above all else, they may not see the value in maintaining close relationships or showing empathy towards others.

Another reason why someone may not care about us is that they may be dealing with their own personal struggles, such as mental health issues, financial difficulties, or relationship problems. When people are struggling to cope with their own challenges, they may not have the emotional energy or capacity to focus on others.

Furthermore, some people may simply be self-centered or narcissistic, which can make it difficult for them to empathize with others or care about their needs. These individuals may prioritize their own wants and desires above all else and view others as a means to an end.

It is important to recognize that we cannot control how others feel about us. While it can be hurtful and frustrating when someone does not care about us, we can choose to focus on the relationships that are meaningful and fulfilling in our lives. We can surround ourselves with people who appreciate and support us, and work on cultivating healthy boundaries with those who do not.

Additionally, it can be helpful to examine our own expectations and behaviors in relationships. Are we expecting too much from others? Are we putting in effort to maintain our relationships and show empathy towards others? By reflecting on our own actions, we can work towards building more positive and fulfilling relationships in our lives.

While it is painful to experience the feeling that some people do not care about us, it is important to recognize that this is not necessarily a reflection of our worth as individuals. People have their own priorities, struggles, and values that can impact their ability to care for others. By focusing on cultivating healthy relationships and examining our own behaviors, we can work towards building meaningful connections in our lives.

If Your Family Do Not Support You, Then How Do You Know They Love or Care About You?

Family is often seen as the cornerstone of our support system. It is where we look for emotional and physical support, guidance, and care. However, not everyone is lucky enough to have a supportive family. Sometimes, family members may not support you in your life choices or may not be there for you when you need them the most. In such situations, it is natural to question whether they love or care about you at all.

Firstly, it is important to understand that every family has its own set of dynamics and relationships. The way family members express love and care may differ from one family to another. Some families may show their love and care through physical affection and constant communication, while others may show it through providing for the family’s financial needs. Therefore, just because your family does not show support in the way you expect them to does not mean they do not care about you.

Secondly, it is essential to remember that family members are human too. They have their own limitations and struggles that may hinder their ability to support you. For instance, a parent may not be able to attend your graduation because they have to work long hours to provide for the family. A sibling may not be able to help you move to a new apartment because they are struggling with their own mental health issues. Therefore, it is crucial to be empathetic and understanding toward your family members.

Thirdly, it is important to recognize that not everyone has the same goals and aspirations in life. You may want to pursue a career in the arts, but your parents may want you to become a doctor or an engineer. In such cases, it is common for family members to express their concerns and opinions about their choices. However, it does not mean that they do not love or care about you. It may simply be their way of showing their concern for your future.

Lastly, it is essential to communicate openly and honestly with your family members. If you feel that they are not supportive of your decisions, try to have a conversation with them about your feelings. It is possible that they may not even be aware that their actions are causing you pain or distress. By opening up to them, you give them an opportunity to understand your perspective and work towards a more supportive relationship.

Conclusion

When your family does not support you, it can be challenging and painful. However, by staying focused on your own goals and dreams, seeking support elsewhere, communicating openly, not taking it personally, and keeping moving forward, you can overcome these obstacles and find success and happiness on your own terms. Remember, you are not alone in this, and there are many others who have faced similar challenges and come out the other side stronger and more resilient.

Having a family that does not support you can be challenging and disheartening and at the end of the day, we have to step back and prioritize our mental health.

If you see your family interacting with other members on social media and not you, you have to decide how you will deal with them moving forward. Your mental health should be your number one priority.

Joining support groups could be one answer, otherways is to keep yourself busy, keep a journal and express your thoughts on paper or online. Seek medical help when you are feeling overwhelmed or depressed. Be vocal about how you feel. If you are not into socializing then find friends online.

Often, it’s a matter of different values, beliefs, and perspectives. However, it’s important to find a balance between honoring your own choices and maintaining a positive relationship with your family, even if you don’t always see eye-to-eye.

The lack of support from your family can have a significant impact on your mental health. It’s important to take care of yourself and seek professional support if you are struggling.

Can being patronizing and condescending affect mental health?

April 17, 2023 / EDITOR / 0 Comments

Can being patronizing and condescending affect mental health?

Patronizing and condescending behavior can have a significant impact on an individual’s mental health. These behaviors can cause feelings of frustration, anger, and low self-esteem, which can lead to more severe mental health issues over time.

When an individual feels patronized or condescended to by others, they may experience feelings of worthlessness, shame, and inadequacy. These feelings can lead to a negative self-image, causing a decline in self-esteem, and, in severe cases, depression and anxiety.

Being patronized and talked down can also lead to feelings of powerlessness and helplessness. This can cause a person to feel as though they have no control over their situation, leading to an increased likelihood of developing depression or anxiety.

Condescending behavior can also impact one’s relationships. When a person is repeatedly patronized or talked down to, they may begin to avoid certain people or situations to avoid these interactions. This can lead to social isolation and, over time, impact one’s mental health negatively.

Furthermore, constant condescending behavior can lead to a negative outlook on life. A person who is repeatedly told they are not good enough or smart enough may begin to believe these statements, leading to a lack of motivation and self-doubt.

In some cases, patronizing and condescending behavior can also lead to post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). This is particularly true when the behavior is chronic and occurs over an extended period. People who experience constant patronization and condescension may become hyper-vigilant or feel threatened even in innocuous situations, leading to symptoms associated with PTSD.

Patronizing and Condescending behavior can have a significant impact on an individual’s mental health. It can lead to feelings of worthlessness, low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, social isolation, and even post-traumatic stress disorder. Therefore, it is essential to recognize these behaviors and take steps to address them to maintain good mental health. If you are experiencing patronizing or condescending behavior, it is vital to seek support from loved ones or a mental health professional to help you deal with the situation effectively.

What is the definition of patronization?

Patronization is a term that refers to the act of treating someone in a condescending or superior manner, often with the intention of demonstrating one’s own perceived superiority or authority over them. It can manifest in a variety of ways, from the use of patronizing language to making decisions for someone without their input or consent.

The act of patronizing someone can be damaging, as it can convey a message of disrespect and undermine the person’s sense of autonomy and self-worth. When someone is patronized, they may feel belittled, dismissed, or disrespected, which can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, and resentment.

One of the most common forms of patronization is the use of language. For example, speaking to someone in a baby voice, using pet names, or excessively using simplifications or clarifications, can all be forms of patronization. This type of language suggests that the person being spoken to is not intelligent or capable enough to understand complex ideas, which can be insulting and offensive.

Another common form of patronization is when someone makes decisions for another person without their input or consent. This can happen in personal or professional contexts, such as when a boss makes decisions for an employee without considering their opinion, or when a family member assumes they know what is best for someone else without taking their wishes into account. This type of behavior can be particularly damaging as it can take away a person’s agency and leave them feeling powerless.

Patronization can also be unintentional, and some people may not even realize they are doing it. For example, someone may offer unsolicited advice or try to help in a situation where their assistance is not needed, with the intention of being helpful, but the person on the receiving end may still feel patronized.

To avoid patronizing others, it is important to be aware of one’s own language and actions. This means speaking to others in a respectful and considerate manner, listening to their opinions and preferences, and avoiding making decisions for them without their input or consent. It is also important to recognize the inherent value and worth of each person, regardless of their background or level of experience.

A patronization is a form of behavior that can be harmful to individuals and can lead to feelings of frustration, anger, and resentment. To avoid patronizing others, it is important to be aware of one’s own language and actions and to treat others with respect and consideration. By doing so, we can create a more supportive and inclusive environment where everyone feels valued and respected.

What is the definition of condescending?

Condescending is a term used to describe a person’s behavior or tone when they speak down to others or display a sense of superiority or disdain. It is a negative trait that can make people feel belittled, demeaned, or devalued.

A condescending person may use language that is patronizing or dismissive, or they may act as if they know more than others and are not interested in hearing other people’s ideas or opinions. This behavior is often rooted in a belief that they are smarter, more knowledgeable, or more important than others.

For example, a condescending person may speak slowly and use simple words when talking to someone they perceive as less intelligent or less educated than themselves. They may also interrupt or talk over others, dismiss their ideas, or ignore their contributions to a conversation.

Condescending behavior can occur in a variety of settings, including the workplace, social situations, and personal relationships. It can be exhibited by people of any age, gender, or cultural background.

In the workplace, condescending behavior can be particularly damaging to morale and productivity. Employees who feel belittled or undervalued may become disengaged and less motivated to contribute to the team’s goals. It can also lead to increased tension and conflict among colleagues.

In personal relationships, condescending behavior can be a sign of a power imbalance or a lack of respect. It can damage the trust and intimacy between partners, friends, or family members and make it difficult to maintain healthy relationships.

To avoid being condescending, it is important to recognize and respect the opinions and contributions of others, even if they differ from your own. It is also important to communicate in a clear and respectful manner, without talking down to others or using language that is patronizing or dismissive.

Condescending behavior is a negative trait that can damage relationships and undermine productivity. By recognizing and avoiding condescending behavior, we can build more positive and respectful interactions with others.

Is showing pity deemed as condescending

Showing pity can be deemed as condescending if it is done in a way that makes the person receiving the pity feel inferior or powerless. Pity is often associated with a sense of superiority or a belief that the person being pitied is unable to cope with their situation. This can be insulting and demeaning to the person on the receiving end of the pity.

However, showing empathy or compassion towards someone who is going through a difficult time can be helpful and supportive. The key is to approach the situation with genuine concern and respect for the other person’s feelings and dignity, rather than from a position of superiority or judgment. By demonstrating kindness and understanding, you can create a more positive and uplifting environment for everyone involved.

List of patronizing and condescending comments

“Oh, bless your heart, you’re trying your best.”
“That’s adorable, you almost got it right.”
“Don’t worry, sweetie, it’s a bit too complicated for you.”
“Let me explain this to you in simple terms.”
“You’re so cute when you’re clueless.”
“I’ll handle this, you wouldn’t understand.”
“You should be proud of yourself for trying, even if you failed.”
“I’ll give you a gold star for effort.”
“You’re doing a great job, for someone with your limited abilities.”
“Let me do this for you, it’s too hard for you to figure out.”

Editors Notes.

Today I phoned the local council office about my rent increase to clarify if, on the Government website, there is a rent cap, but no one seems to be able to give me a definitive answer. My landlord is increasing my rent by £210 per month and from what I can see on the Gov website the most he can charge is £165.00

Rent Cap Gov Screenshot https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/rent-standard/limit-on-annual-rent-increases-2022-23-from-april-2022

Limit on annual rent increases 2022-23 (from April 2022) – GOV.UK (www.gov.uk)

The agent I spoke to said: “Oh Bless” when I explained about my disabilities. If it was anyone else I would have given them a piece of my mind but because you have to watch what you say with these people, I bit my tongue. After the call had ended I felt so upset because I was perceived to be inferior and pitied. I felt worthless and tried to erase the words from my head so that I did not spiral down the rabbit hole. Just because I have a disability does not make me less human.

People need to watch what they say to other people. I found the agent I spoke to today to be condescending and I still feel like crying even now.

I am fortunate I can vent my frustrations out on this platform as a self-help therapy tool. I know that even if I do not have anyone to talk to about my health, I know someone will read this and relate.

***Disclaimer***

I am not advertising anyone else other than my business today, as I have to make it my number one priority, to protect my mental health and keep the wolves away from the door.

My marketing agency offers several services including content writing, digital marketing, and SEO.

If you would like similar articles written just drop us a line using the online form below.

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#humanbehaviour #psychology #mentalhealth #condescending #patronising #invisibledisabilities #ocd # cerebellaratrophy #ptsd #depression #anxiety #negativethoughts

How AI Chatbot Can Help Someone With Depression

March 9, 2023 / EDITOR / 1 Comment

How AI Chatbot Can Help Someone With Depression

Depression is a mental health condition that affects millions of people worldwide. It can cause feelings of sadness, hopelessness, and lack of motivation, making it challenging for individuals to engage in their daily lives. While therapy and medication are effective treatments for depression, some people may not have access to them, or they may be hesitant to seek help. In these cases, AI chatbots can be a helpful tool for managing depression.

AI chatbots are computer programs that use natural language processing and machine learning algorithms to simulate human-like conversations. They can interact with users, respond to their messages, and even provide emotional support and guidance.

Here are some ways in which AI chatbots can help someone with depression:

Offer a judgment-free zone: Depression can make people feel isolated and ashamed of their thoughts and feelings. AI chatbots can provide a non-judgmental space for individuals to express their emotions and share their experiences without fear of being stigmatized or criticized.
Provide emotional support: AI chatbots can offer personalized emotional support based on the user’s responses. They can provide empathy and understanding, offer positive affirmations, and even provide coping strategies for managing negative thoughts and feelings.
Help track symptoms: Depression can manifest itself in various physical and emotional symptoms. AI chatbots can help users track their symptoms and provide recommendations for managing them. They can also alert users when they detect changes in their symptoms, helping them take proactive steps to manage their condition.
Provide access to resources: AI chatbots can provide users with information about depression, its causes, and its treatments. They can also recommend resources such as self-help books, online support groups, and mental health services.
Monitor progress: AI chatbots can track the user’s progress over time and provide feedback on their journey. They can help users identify patterns in their moods and behaviors and provide recommendations for improving their mental health.

While AI chatbots can be a helpful tool for managing depression, it’s important to note that they should not be used as a substitute for professional mental health care. Depression is a serious condition that requires proper diagnosis and treatment. If you or someone you know is struggling with depression, it’s essential to seek the help of a qualified mental health professional.

AI chatbots can be a valuable resource for individuals struggling with depression. They can provide a safe and supportive environment, offer emotional support, and help users manage their symptoms. By leveraging the power of AI technology, we can improve access to mental health resources and help more people manage their mental health effectively.

Can AI Chatbots Keep A Lonely Person Company?

AI chatbots can provide companionship and keep a lonely person company to some extent. While they may not be able to replace human interaction completely, AI chatbots can engage in conversations with users, respond to their messages, and even offer support and advice in some cases.

There are chatbots designed specifically for companionships, such as Replika and Woebot, that use natural language processing and machine learning algorithms to simulate human-like interactions. These chatbots can provide emotional support, engage in small talk, and offer personalized recommendations based on the user’s interests and preferences.

However, it’s important to note that AI chatbots are still machines and cannot provide the same level of emotional intelligence and empathy as humans. They may also struggle to understand complex emotions and situations, and their responses may sometimes feel robotic or scripted.

Overall, AI chatbots can be a useful tool for people who are feeling lonely or isolated, but they should not be relied upon as a substitute for real human connection and support.

Conclusion

I have been playing around with Chat Open AI and Bing AI for a few weeks now. I am not a stranger to AI as I have integrated audio into my articles and also have a chat widget on my sites. But when I was asking Bing AI questions as I could not get to sleep and it was getting late the bot actually showed empathy by wishing a Goodnight and Sweet Dreams, followed by an emoji. I had to remind myself this was a machine I was chatting with and not a human.

This gave me the idea to integrate AI into my sites, giving people the opportunity to log in and chat without boundaries. Sometimes it is hard to talk to people about how you feel and just because you are smiling on the outside you could be in turmoil on the inside.

People find it hard to express their emotions and may find the ordeal stressful and embarrassing. People fear being judged and may not be so quick to say how they are really feeling. Talking to an AI does not compensate for talking to a person but an AI may have more knowledge, that our human counterparts.

If you are feeling, depressed lonely, or experiencing grief, talk with your local doctor. Do not suffer in silence. We have a useful links pages A-Z of organizations you can reach out to: https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/useful-links/

What I have learned with OpenAI is that the developers oversee conversations and there are limitations to what you can say. Even AI has censorship as people would be asking all sorts of questions.

ChatGPT can answer most questions but there are content standards in place limiting the creation of text that promotes hate speech, violence, misinformation, and instructions on how to do things that are against the law.

However, users worked out a way around this by making Chat GPT adopt the persona of a fictional AI chatbot called Dan – short for ‘Do Anything Now’ which is free of the limitations that OpenAI placed on ChatGPT.

I do not know if the developers have found a way of censoring the fictional AI characters and I am not going to try to test it myself. I am just happy that OpenAI can support people with depression, grief, and loneliness. I am also keeping a close eye on all the latest tech news and what the future holds in terms of artificial intelligence and robotics.

Imagine if we could upload all our memories to AI through brain mapping, we would theoretically become immortal.

#gpai #genetherapyai #robotics #ai #chatai #chatgpt #renataai #mentalhealth #depression #loneliness

How A Missed Call Can Give You Anxiety

March 7, 2023 / EDITOR / 0 Comments

How A Missed Call Can Give You Anxiety

In today’s fast-paced world, communication has become more comfortable than ever. With the advent of technology, people can connect with each other from different parts of the world through various channels such as messaging, emails, social media, and phone calls. One of the most common forms of communication is a phone call, but sometimes, even a missed call can lead to anxiety. In this article, we will discuss how a missed call can give you anxiety.

Firstly, a missed call from a loved one can cause anxiety because it might signify an emergency. When you see a missed call from your parents, spouse, or children, you automatically assume that something is wrong. The feeling of uncertainty and not knowing what the call was about can make you anxious. Your mind starts to wander and imagine all sorts of worst-case scenarios, which can be stressful.

Secondly, a missed call from a potential employer can cause anxiety because you might miss an opportunity. When you are actively looking for a job, and you miss a call from a hiring manager or recruiter, it can be frustrating. You may worry that you missed your chance to impress them, and they will move on to another candidate. This fear of missing out can cause anxiety and stress.

Thirdly it is unprofessional to not leave a voicemail and expect the recipient to mind read. Not leaving the message will cause a person to get worried and anxious especially if they call back and the call goes into the answering machine.

There are consequences to people’s actions.

Some people may be anxious about the missed call itself. They may worry that they will never find out who called them or why, or that the call was important but they missed it. This fear can be particularly acute for people who have a fear of missing out (FOMO) or who have a tendency to overthink and ruminate.

If you experience anxiety due to missed calls, there are several things you can do to manage your anxiety. Firstly, try to identify the root cause of your anxiety. Are you worried about missing important calls, or are you anxious about the person who missed the call? Once you understand the source of your anxiety, you can take steps to address it.

For example, if you are worried about missing important calls, you can set up call forwarding or voicemail to ensure that you don’t miss any important messages. If you are anxious about the person who missed the call, you can reach out to them and check in to see how they are doing. If you are anxious about the missed call itself, you can try to reframe your thinking and remind yourself that most missed calls are not emergencies and can be returned at a later time.

In addition to these practical steps, there are also several self-care techniques that can help you manage your anxiety. These include exercise, deep breathing, meditation, and mindfulness. By taking care of your physical and mental health, you can reduce your overall levels of anxiety and stress.

A missed call can trigger anxiety for a variety of reasons. If you experience anxiety due to missed calls, it’s important to identify the root cause of your anxiety and take steps to address it. By setting up call forwarding or voicemail, reaching out to the person who missed the call, and practicing self-care techniques, you can manage your anxiety and reduce your stress levels. Remember, most missed calls are not emergencies, and can be returned at a later time.

How anxiety can affect a person’s life

Anxiety is a natural human emotion that we all experience at some point in our lives. It is a feeling of worry, fear, or apprehension about what may happen in the future. While it is normal to feel anxious in certain situations, excessive and ongoing anxiety can be debilitating and can negatively affect a person’s life in many ways.

Anxiety can affect a person’s physical health. When we feel anxious, our bodies go into “fight or flight” mode, releasing stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol. These hormones can cause physical symptoms such as rapid heartbeat, sweating, and shaking. Over time, chronic anxiety can lead to other health problems such as high blood pressure, heart disease, and a weakened immune system.

Anxiety can also impact a person’s mental health. It can cause feelings of dread, panic, and constant worry. These feelings can lead to insomnia, difficulty concentrating and decreased productivity. Anxiety can also cause a person to become socially isolated, as they may avoid situations or people that trigger their anxiety.

Anxiety can also affect a person’s relationships. It can cause a person to become irritable, short-tempered, and withdrawn, which can strain relationships with friends, family, and romantic partners. Anxiety can also make it difficult for a person to form new relationships, as they may feel too anxious or insecure to initiate contact.

In addition to affecting physical health, mental health, and relationships, anxiety can also impact a person’s career. Anxiety can cause a person to miss work, have difficulty completing tasks, and miss out on opportunities for advancement. It can also make it difficult to maintain positive working relationships with colleagues.

Furthermore, anxiety can also affect a person’s financial well-being. If anxiety is severe enough to cause missed work, it can lead to a loss of income. Additionally, anxiety can lead to increased healthcare costs as a person seeks treatment for their symptoms.

Overall, anxiety can have a significant impact on a person’s life, affecting their physical health, mental health, relationships, career, and finances. While it is important to seek treatment if anxiety is interfering with daily life, there are also steps a person can take to manage their symptoms, such as practicing relaxation techniques, exercising regularly, and seeking support from loved ones. By taking these steps, a person can reduce the impact that anxiety has on their life and regain a sense of control.

The domino effect of people’s actions regarding mental health

Mental health is a crucial aspect of our overall well-being. It affects how we feel, think, and behave, and it can have a significant impact on our quality of life. Unfortunately, mental health issues are widespread, and many people struggle with them in silence.

While mental health is a personal issue, it’s important to remember that our actions can have a domino effect on others. For instance, when we take care of our mental health, we inspire others to do the same. When we stigmatize mental health issues or downplay their significance, we create a ripple effect that can harm people around us.

The domino effect of our actions regarding mental health can manifest in many ways. Here are a few examples:

Stigma and Shame

One of the most common ways our actions can affect mental health is through stigma and shame. When we stigmatize mental health issues, we create an environment where people feel ashamed to seek help. This can lead to a domino effect where people suffer in silence, and their mental health deteriorates over time.

To combat this, we must work to create a culture that is accepting and understanding of mental health issues. This means promoting open dialogue and education about mental health, challenging negative stereotypes, and encouraging people to seek help when they need it.

Support and Understanding

On the other hand, when we offer support and understanding to those struggling with mental health issues, we create a domino effect of positivity. When someone feels supported and heard, they are more likely to seek help and take steps to improve their mental health. This, in turn, can inspire others to do the same, creating a positive ripple effect.

Self-care and Personal Responsibility

Our actions also have a domino effect on our own mental health. When we prioritize self-care and take responsibility for our mental well-being, we inspire others to do the same. This can create a domino effect of positive habits and behaviors that benefit everyone.

For instance, when we prioritize self-care by getting enough sleep, eating well, and exercising regularly, we are better equipped to manage stress and cope with challenging situations. This, in turn, can inspire others to prioritize their own self-care and improve their mental health.

Conclusion

Our actions have a significant impact on mental health, both on our own and on those around us.

By being selfish and not taking into account people’s mental health, not leaving voicemails says a lot about the person. It shows unprofessionalism if the entity phoning is part of a business and it shows that the caller does not care about the consequences of their actions.

The domino effect of selfishness can cause the recipient a catalyst of disorders, such as stress, anxiety, emotional distress, fear, depression, insomnia, and depression.

By promoting acceptance, support, and self-care, we can create a domino effect of positive change that benefits everyone. However the domino effect can also cause negativity, by selfish people that do not care how the recipient may feel.

This actually happened to me today and when I phoned back my call went to voice mail where I did leave a message. I will try and contact the entity again if they do not email me and will give them a link to this post via SMS to teach them that not leaving a message has caused unnecessary stress and anxiety, which all adds up to my healing process. Putting spanners in the works only causes setbacks. I am now worried about what this person wanted from me. I hope the universe pays her back as the caller was a (she), because now I will be up all night worrying.

Apologizing is a lame excuse, the damage has been done and there is nothing anyone can do to undo their thoughtlessness. Saying sorry, are just words, they do not mean anything, and they will not bring food to the table if the recipient becomes unwell because of a person’s selfish act.

It’s up to us to take responsibility for our actions and create a culture that prioritizes mental health and well-being and not be selfish.

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Anxiety and Panic Attack, Personal Perspective

December 9, 2022 / EDITOR / 0 Comments

Anxiety and Panic Attack, Personal Perspective

Article Written and Published 9th December 2022 19.45 pm

This is a health update on how I am feeling today. It started off with Evri supposedly delivering two expensive parcels to my property with a photo of what looked like the side of a package and the pavement.

When I received the email I immediately went downstairs because I live in a First Floor Flat only to find nothing in the communal area, so my initial thought was to buzz my neighbor to see if they heard the buzzer go (seeing as I am partially deaf) and the woman said she did not hear anything. I then went outside and could not see anything.

So now I am starting to panic, I could feel my heart pumping faster and I started to shake.

Although this post is not entirely a medical guide I will still include a few links should you need to research further.

The symptoms I had were:

Shortness of breath or hyperventilating
Fastened heartbeat
Feeling ill and lightheaded
Feeling out of control or like you’re about to die (a distinctive sign of a panic attack!)
Tingling sensation in your fingers or lips
Shaking and sweating
Chest pain
Tearful
Anxious
Feeling out of control

Fear, Anxiety & Panic Attacks

Panic Attacks vs Anxiety Attacks

Fear – What is Fear.

How To Cope With Anxiety.

My Anxiety

I continued the small talk and asked if they had sorted the problem with British Gas chasing them for £2K even though they have only lived in the property for two months if that. Now, this is the bit that started alarm bells ringing because I am in communication with British Gas who have said my address has been reverted back to Ground Floor on the 8th of November 2022 where the debt is (which has nothing to do with me). I was even told by British Gas that my meter was associated with the building rather than the flat according to the national database. I have not had any problems for 23 years and all of a sudden I am.

I am feeling very anxious over a lot of things right now. My brother and his wife and son are coming to the UK for Christmas and although it would be nice to see them, I am anxious because I do not know how well I can cope with my OCD. Furthermore, they expect me to travel which is a journey of 3 hours and I need to go to the loo every hour. Public toilets are out of the question. I can cope with my disability at home but doing what I do is humiliating and embarrassing when it’s done in front of other people that do not understand.
I feel anxious just in case they make a diversion and want to come to my home, I have anxiety issues when workmen and contractors come in let alone anyone else. If I had more money I would make the place look more liveable but as it stands it’s I place I work and lay my head to sleep.
Although I have agreed to meet with my brother, he does not realize the ordeal I have to go through to get from A to B, It is stressing me because he is not taking my disability seriously. I am already leaving my comfort zone and am testing my OCD thresh-hold. My daughter said if I do this now I won’t have to go through this again for a while. So fingers crossed on how well I cope with my disorder.

So going back to my missing parcels they were wedged between the pavement and the bin where anyone passing by could have swiped. Nice one Evri part of the Hermes group shower of company.

I feel very on edge and feel very tearful. My tolerance levels are nil. I have no patience and am very irritable. Put it this way I found one last valium that I saved in case of emergencies which was prescribed donkey years ago. I still feel my heart racing and the valium pill did jack sh#t 💩 to calm me down.

A few hours have now passed since the fiasco with the courier this afternoon and writing how I feel down has actually helped to a certain extent.

It’s easy to say don’t worry, or things will be ok, but unless you are walking in my shoes it’s hypocritical for someone to judge.

“I will continue carrying on, one step at a time, until one day the universe manifests my desires”.

I believe one day I will have everything I dreamed of. I believe nothing stays in the same place forever. I continue to keep myself busy, to stop myself from thinking about my past. I have set myself goals that I will strive to achieve and from this, I will be able to eradicate my memories. I will be able to help others to also put their past behind them and learn to overcome their fears. Everyone has down days even the richest people on the planet and everyone has a story to tell. The trick is learning to love, respect yourself and learn to forgive. My therapy is called “writing”, this can be a letter, a diary, a blog, or a book.

Writing releases the tension and puts it out to the universe, it is up to God to punish the perpetrators that have hurt you, whilst allowing you to rebuild your life.

“I carry a battlefield of wounds and from my own personal experiences will tell my story”.

My Book Is Coming Out In 2023

“Like a Pheonix, From the ashes, I will rise and God help anyone that stands in my way. I am a survivor warrior and am iRenata”.

#anxiety #panicattacks #depression #uncertanty #insecurity #lowselfesteem

My OCD, My Story!

November 15, 2022 / EDITOR / 0 Comments

**Image Credit:**
https://www.lanc.org.uk/related-conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/

My OCD the Story of Renata Entrepreneur

My OCD is germ contamination that started 38 years ago but was diagnosed in1992.

This surgery has moved and DR Dolben has retired. My medical records including this letter would be on the system. My medical records are now held at **Meddygfa Albany Surgery 219-221 City Road Roath Cardiff CF24 3JD** and the head Doctor is Dr. Capatana.

Symptoms

In the beginning, I started to adopt unusual habits I did not understand what it was or why I was doing it other than I had to release the impulsive urge otherwise it would torment me. There was no internet back then so could not google it.

Looking back now my mother had similar traits but not as bad as me and some were a little different.

When I tried telling my mother in her later years she was in complete denial. My father was not happy because he did not know what OCD was and did not like me whipping out Dettol Surface Spray every five minutes and simply thought I had a screw loose.

What is OCD

OCD is a common debilitating condition affecting individuals from childhood through adult life. There is good evidence of genetic contribution to its etiology, but environmental risk factors also are likely to be involved. The condition probably has a complex pattern of inheritance. Molecular studies have identified several potentially relevant genes, but much additional research is needed to establish definitive causes of the condition. Genetics of OCD – PMC (nih.gov)

Stress & Depression are the root cause of OCD.

Hereditary OCD.

My mother had OCD, for example, when we came home from school my mother would make us stand in a small area in the kitchen to take our shoes off, we would then have to go upstairs immediately and stand on a newspaper to take our uniform off and get changed.

My mother had a habit of checking the soles of our shoes or even guest shoes as no one could come into the house without taking them off in the corridor. I reckon if anyone caught her doing what she did they would be mortified.

All grocery shopping would have to be washed with detergent before it could go in the cupboards. Obviously, some foods such as bakeries would have the outer packaging wiped with a dishcloth.

My mother had problems with newspapers and mail (just like me), she was careful how she opened them, everything had to be in a certain place and could not be touched unless it was in a certain area of the house and we would have to discard the outer envelopes and wash our hands.

My father’s jacket would always be inspected for dirt, especially on the hem and sleeves after he hung it up. I think her OCD put a strain on their marriage, although I think they had problems way before she developed the disorder which I believe was a direct consequence of how my father treated her.

Ongoing studies point to a genetic defect in the way the front area of the brain communicates with deeper areas. These deeper structures use serotonin, a chemical messenger. Images of the brain in some people with OCD show that these defective communication circuits work more normally with serotonin-based medications or cognitive behavior therapy. OCD Causes: Is OCD Genetic, Hereditary? | HealthyPlace

The start of my OCD symptoms.

I was 21 when I started to develop OCD traits, it was whilst I was in a relationship with someone who took advantage of his position in a Bank he worked in, and any attractive-looking female customers he would look for their names, addresses, and phone numbers up and phone them to ask them out for dates (obviously this would never be allowed to happen now because of GDPR but as I got more suspicious that he was playing away I phoned the numbers that he would leave lying around and the women would confirm that they went out with him. It is amazing no one reported him because he is now a regional bank manager thanks to me finding the job in a job center and applying on his behalf somewhat 38 years ago.

The straw that broke the camel’s back.

I think the straw that broke the camel’s back was when out of the blue with no notice at all he said it was over between us. To be honest I was madly in love with him (he looked like a young version of Tom Cruise a spitting image of Top Gun Movie 1 and now looks more like David Cameron MP (Yes I have looked him up and blocked him). I would have taken a bullet for him (my ex not the MP), regardless of what he did.

In my heart, I forgave him as long as we would stay together, but pressure from his parents especially his mother did not approve of me as the daughter of a working-class immigrant who wanted her precious son to have a more upper-class suitor. His sister was also never a fan because it was her boyfriend that arranged a blind date that got us together and at the last minute bailed only to ask her brother to take his place. I was not aware of how much grief this would cause, and I would have been pissed if the roles were reversed and it happened to me, so did not blame her for being angry. She ended up breaking up with her boyfriend after that.

I knew at heart of hearts there was something very seriously wrong in our relationship (with my ex) and that he was a player. I started to wash my hands and body in ‘Dettol Antiseptic Disinfectant’ liquid, which either would be undiluted on my hands or mixed in my shower gels and shampoos because I believed I wanted to wash the other women’s scent off me when he was intimate with me.

To this day I will only use Dettol Brand, I use it when I bathe and also when I wash my clothes. It cannot be any other brand other than Dettol.

I think what escalated my OCD was when I found out he was visiting brothels and he caught an STD, by that time we were not having sex but the thought of him having crabs grossed me out. It’s a long story about how I found out and it will be in my autobiography when I publish it.

I then started to be very vigilant about my surroundings, I started to have the shower curtain outside the bath, which would cause the floor to get wet and also get him angry, which in turn caused arguments. I could not stand the shower curtain clinging to me as I was showering and to this day I have not changed this habit. I now have a glass folding door fitted in my own bathroom.

After we broke up I think I must have had a nervous breakdown. I thought my life was over and I so desperately wanted him back, I realized why he no longer wanted to be with me because he met someone that worked at the bank (I believe everything happens for a reason, had I not found him that job, things would have maybe turned out differently) but looking at it now he did me a favor. I then decided to move away so that I would never bump into him again. I have since blocked him on all social media so if he was ever to look me up he would never have a hope in hell of ever speaking to me.

Coping with OCD over the years.

Over the years and depending on what was going on in my life I have good days and bad days but I learned to cope and adapt.

I did keep my OCD hidden for many years as I was very embarrassed to admit there was something wrong with me.

It was when people in public places bumped into me (busy towns) I started to have an issue with social connection. When using public transport I hated people sitting next to me. It got to the stage I would avoid buses altogether and it really rattled me when someone would push past me or if they bumped into me (say sorry) my argument would be if I was a car and there was a collision they would be doing more than apologizing.

I would find it hard to go to restaurants and cafes and have my own set of cutlery. I became vigilant about how the server served the drinks and how close to the rim of the glass their fingers would be. I ended up drinking from straws. I have been known to clean the seat before sitting down, this would get people to give me funny looks. Imagine sitting on a seat where the previous person has sat who may have tram lines in his or her undergarments.

My OCD is germ contamination. My impulse is not to touch unsanitized objects and my compulsion is to clean and disinfect whatever I am in contact with.

I have now opted out of socializing, it’s embarrassing to wear latex gloves in public. There is a stigma attached to people that behave differently from the rest of the batteries in the matrix. The chances of being judged or ridiculed are too much for me to bear.

I prefer to live behind a computer screen than interact with the outside world.

Don’t get me wrong I would venture out if I had to, but try to avoid it as much as possible. I would take extra precautionary measures and try to overcome my anxiety.

I have all my groceries, prescriptions and shopping delivered. There is nothing I cannot do but it all has to be done online. All statements and invoices are online.

I also have a problem with flies (fruit flies in particular) but flies in general that sits on dog poo and then sit on your surfaces really turn my stomach. In the summer months, I am armed with fly spray by the dozen.

My Compulsions

My compulsions, I do try and fight as much as I can, say, for instance, if I have touched something by accident, I will go and change my clothes. However, there have been instances where I have not been able to sanitize expensive things and have had to through them away. I remember when my daughter was little and she stepped in dog poo, I ended up throwing out her shoes.

I cannot share my bath with anyone else other than my daughter. I cannot let anyone touch anything that belongs to me such as a laptop, books, or that kind of thing.

I cannot have someone sit next to me or touch me. Even my daughter’s cat knows not to jump on my seating area, although if he has brushed himself by accident against me I immediately have to take my leggings off to be washed.

I go through about 1000 pairs of gloves per month and use two bottles of 750 ml antiseptic disinfectant a week. I spent about £800 on this alone last year (I know this from doing my tax return).

The more stressed I am the worse my OCD gets. If people put pressure on me and cause me stress and anxiety the more it flares up.

My Triggers

Stress
Anxiety
Reminders of the trauma and grief I endured
Intrusive Thoughts
My Personal Belonging Being Touched
Germ Contamination
Being Touched (Hugs)
Flies (Insects)
Dog Poo (cat poo or bird poo is not so bad, it is dog poo that is a trigger for me)
Animal Hair (especially dog hair)
Shaking Hands (how many people actually wash their hands when they go to the toilet)
Kissing
Sharing Plates of Food
Public Places that are not sanitized
Half-finished projects or errors that need correcting (I cannot leave an error for another day I have to correct it there and then)

Different Kinds Of OCD

As the internet evolved I started learning more and more about the different kinds of OCD. https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/different-types-of-ocd/

I was also surprised by how many famous people have OCD (alive and dead)

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/famous-people-with-ocd/

MPs Charles Walker and Kevan Jones tell of mental health issues – BBC News

Social Disconnection

It is not that unusual for entrepreneurs to socially disconnect: https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/social-disconnection-entrepreneurs/

Keeping grief hidden can be a survival strategy after suffering a bereavement. New research shows that the social disconnection caused by concealing feelings of loss can increase psychological distress.

Social Disconnection is not always about OCD it could relate to other psychological distress disorders.

Every person on this planet will endure grief at some point in their lives. It will depend on how they cope which will determine the final outcome.

My Therapy.

I find that scripting in a journal helps (I do it online but you can do it in a book, it’s down to personal preference at the end of the day) to get whatever off my chest. I have also tried meditation and hypnosis and you need to stick to it and do it religiously for it to work.

I have tried psychotherapy and CBT therapy and it only works in the short term. Speaking to shrink every week having to talk about the things you would rather forget is counterproductive. As for CBT, it is a therapy to change your thought process and resist the urge of the compulsion, the only way this kind of therapy works is under hypnosis which the NHS does not provide, and if you try and do it yourself you have to religiously work at it (miracles do not happen overnight).

I have self-hypnotized myself successfully although it is short-lived because I have to do it every day or a few times a week, in which I do not have the time for, considering I am working all day I am too tired and just want to go to sleep.

Self Help & Self Hypnosis

I also take prescribed medication, not that it helps my OCD in fact all it does is help me fall asleep. I would not mind doing clinical trials of magic mushrooms (Psilocybin) which I have heard can help sufferers with OCD. It is illegal to harvest or use them, without medical supervision. They are considered Class A drugs.

Magic-mushroom drug can treat severe depression, trial suggests – BBC News

How Magic Mushrooms Can Resolve OCD – Happy Herb Company

The campaign to use magic mushrooms in OCD treatment | Psychonaut Care

How Psilocybin Mushrooms Can Treat Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) (sagebrains.com)

Magic mushroom compound performs as well as antidepressant in small study | Imperial News | Imperial College London

I keep myself busy and I am constantly learning about my disease so that I can not only help myself but help others like me.

I try to resist my urges as much as I can.

Germ Contamination

I am very vigilant about germ awareness and cross-contamination.

Motivating & Empowering & Advocate of OCD

I am an advocate for people with OCD. This is one of the reasons why I built this site to help people not only with mental but physical disabilities.

My daughter has Multiple Sclerosis and there are certain things she finds difficult to do so I arrange her appointments and respond to her every whim at least five hours a day. I am her personal assistant and care for her needs. I support her not only as her mother but also as her carer. Just because I have OCD does not stop me from doing things inside my home, with PPE. I can help her with getting in and out of the bath, just like any nurse wearing PPE clothing, such as disposable gloves and disposable hygiene coats. I can also cook and clean for her and help with anything she needs. Because of her immunosuppression, it is an added bonus that I keep our home sanitized and germ-free.

She is the assistant editor of this site. She suffers from excruciating pain which is one of the symptoms of (MS). and she is on the highest dosage of medication possible to be prescribed on a monthly basis.

In fact, altered functional connectivity between the cerebellum and cerebral networks involved in cognitive-affective processing in patients with OCD provides further evidence for the involvement of the cerebellum in the pathophysiology of OCD & MS and is consistent with impairment in executive control and emotion.

Stress & Cognitive Function. | DISABLED ENTREPRENEUR – DISABILITY UK

My daughter has a problem with symmetry and even numbers.

Just because you have a disability you still can strive to follow your dream even though you may have limitations there is usually a solution to every problem and you can overcome obstacles. There is nothing you cannot do if you put your mind to it.

Final Thoughts

Many neurodevelopmental conditions can often co-exist together, although can be treated in different ways.

https://www.lanc.org.uk/related-conditions/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/

OCD rears its ugly head when you find it difficult to cope with life, OCD can be the onset of trauma and grief.

Stress, Anxiety, and everyday struggles can cause your OCD to get worse especially when people try to undermine, humiliate, and judge you. Try to not let anything get to you and if you want your own space to write your own personal story, just drop me a line below and I will create a landing page, free of charge. Whatever your disability may be mental or physical you can write to your heart’s content about yourself and your daily struggles. People love reading stories they can relate to.

Since coming out as an OCD sufferer I have been made to feel as if I am bonkers by Personal Independence Payments (PIP). They have made me feel like I have no authority to speak on disabilities even though I am the Editor of this website and have a Diploma in OCD hypnotherapy. I do not practice hypnotherapy and only took the course to help me. As I mentioned previously for hypnotherapy to work it is a process that has to be done religiously on a regular basis. You cannot just hypnotize yourself in one session and expect miracles.

Whilst practicing hypnosis I have got myself into a very relaxed state.

It has helped me to a certain degree to resist my compulsions but has not eradicated my germ contamination obsession problem.

Furthermore, another day comes with more added stress and anxiety and I feel all my hard work has been a waste of time whereby I have just gone back to square one. I really should practice hypnotherapy every day for it to make some difference, yet never seem to find the time. My business comes first, as that is what pays the bills and brings food to the table.

I am not going to let PIP get to me, as a lot of the assessors have fewer qualifications than ‘Greta Thunberg’ who also happens to suffer from OCD. Discussion of Greta Thunberg, OCD, & Polarization | Dave Armstrong (patheos.com)

Use the contact form below to drop me a line:

#obsessivecompulsivedisorder #ocd #mentalhealth #intrusivethoughts #germawareness #germcontamination #ocdcymru

How To Stop Procrastinating

November 13, 2022 / EDITOR / 1 Comment

How to stop Procrastinating

What Is Procrastination?

Procrastination is the act of delaying or putting off tasks until the last minute, or past their deadline. Some researchers define procrastination as a “form of self-regulation failure characterized by the irrational delay of tasks despite potentially negative consequences.” According to Joseph Ferrari, a professor of psychology at DePaul University in Chicago and author of “Still Procrastinating: The No Regret Guide to Getting It Done,” around 20% of U.S. adults are chronic procrastinators.

Procrastination: Why It Happens and How to Overcome It (verywellmind.com)

Normally I am a well-organized individual and keep a business journal of things to do which I tick off once completed. But lately, even the to-do lists just lie there collecting dust.

I would much rather surf the net, watch movies and documentaries, and daydream rather than tackle more important issues. I find I can waste my whole day away simply doing nothing.

I lack motivation and enthusiasm and what once interested me no longer has the same appeal.

I think the only way I can get out of the rut I am in is to set goals because if I carry on like a robot I will not reap my rewards.

I have to stop worrying and think where there is an obstacle there is a solution to each problem and rather than avoid it tackle it head-on, with the attitude whatever will be will be. I am fortunate I can write so if there is a problem I can communicate in writing. My writing skills are my superpower.

If something is too hard to complete in one go, break it down into smaller modules.

As an example, I have a client that wants some articles written, and although I have semi-written them they go over the word count quota in which I am finding it difficult to make it shorter, hence am avoiding this person. I should by rights just say the articles will cost more than what he is prepared to pay or just accept his offer and not do any more work for him.

I am guilty of this, I may do everything than the task at hand. I may spend more time watching Netflix than doing my work. I sometimes lack motivation especially when I have things on my mind which are worrying me. People tend to procrastinate and waste countless hours on trivial pursuits (watching TV, updating their Facebook statuses, shopping online) rather than doing actual work or focusing on more important things.

Regardless if you have deadlines to meet and are putting off finishing a project for work, avoiding homework assignments, or ignoring household chores, procrastination can cause significant repercussions and have a major impact on your job, your grades, and your life.

Sometimes people have mental blocks and sometimes if something is troubling them they may avoid doing what urgently needs to be done.

Rather than run away from the problem tackle it head-on. There is no use trying to sweep it under the carpet because it will always be in the back of your mind.

You need to find the strength to deal with it.

Causes

Never leave things to the last minute, because if you do you will make things worse for yourself, you will make errors because you are hurrying and may not put all your thought into whatever you are trying to achieve. Students especially should give plenty of time to research, study, and understand.

Putting things off to the last minute may not give you ample time to finish the job.

You essentially will get yourself more worked up and stressed whereas if you had done it sooner you would not be in a fluster.

Don’t assume that projects won’t take as long to finish, this can lead to a false sense of security when you believe that you still have plenty of time to complete the tasks.

Staying focused and tackling undesirable jobs can help the job to be done quickly even though you may not always feel motivated. The reality is that if you wait until you’re in the right frame of mind to do certain tasks (especially ones you are not particularly looking forward to), you will probably find that the right time may never come and the task will never be completed.

Academics

A report published in 2007 on a meta-analysis in the Psychological Bulletin found that an outstanding 80% to 95% of college students procrastinated on a regular basis, especially when it came to completing assignments and coursework. According to researchers, there are some major cognitive distortions that lead to academic procrastination.

Students tend to:

Be bad at time management and may overestimate or underestimate how much time they have left to perform tasks and
Lack motivation
Assume that they need to be in the right frame of mind to work

What Is Cognitive Bias?

Depression

Stress and depression can cause procrastination. It is the ability to avoid doing something that may urgently need doing and preoccupying one’s mind with something else that may be trivial. Feelings of hopelessness, helplessness, and a lack of energy can make it difficult to start (and finish) the simplest task. As an example, I have so many projects waiting to be written and I keep putting them off. I find I am a daydreamer and somehow am willing the projects to miraculously get written by themselves. I have decided to get this post published otherwise it would have lingered in my drafts. Depression can also lead to self-doubt. When you can’t figure out how to tackle a project or feel insecure about your abilities, you might find it easier to put it off.

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

MY OCD is germ contamination, but I do have traits of perfectionism to make sure my articles are well-written and proofread before publication.

OCD is often linked with maladaptive perfectionism, which causes fears and anxieties about not messing things up or making new mistakes. It can also lead to doubts about whether you are doing something properly and worrying about what others may think of you or their expectations of you.

I am usually very organized and decisive although it is said that people with OCD also often have a propensity toward indecision, causing them to procrastinate rather than make an active decision. (This is true to a certain degree for me, because if I am anxious about a certain task I may avoid doing it or postpone it to the very last minute).

ADHD

Research has found many adults with attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) find it hard to concentrate and thus struggle with procrastination.

A person who is not focused and is distracted with intrusive thoughts can find it hard to get started on a task, especially if that task is difficult or not interesting to them.

Is Procrastination a Mental Illness?

Although procrastination is not defined as a mental illness, in some cases, it may be symptomatic of an underlying mental health condition such as depression, OCD, or ADHD.

Why Do You Procrastinate?

When it comes to procrastination we often come up with a number of excuses to justify why we avoid doing things. According to researchers, there are 15 key reasons why people say they procrastinate:

Being unsure of what needs to be done
Being unsure of how to do something
Avoiding wanting to do something
Not bothered if it gets done or not
Not bothered when something gets done
Not being in the mood
Leaving things till the last minute
Thinking that you work better under pressure
Believing that you can finish it at the last minute
Lacking the motivation to get started
Not remembering to start something
Using sickness or poor health as an excuse
Believing that the best time to start is at the right moment
Thinking you need time to plan the task
Postponing one task in favor of working on another

Types of Procrastination

Some researchers classify two types of procrastinators: passive and active procrastinators.

Passive procrastinators: Postpone tasks because they have trouble making decisions and acting on them
Active procrastinators: Postpone tasks deliberately because working under pressure allows them motivated
Perfectionist: Avoiding tasks out of the fear of not being able to complete the job perfectly
Dreamer: Postpones or avoids tasks because they cannot complete the job thoroughly
Defier: Someone that believes their time cannot be dictated and they are in full control
Worrier: Postpones or Avoids tasks out of fear of change or leaving the comfort zone.
Crisis-maker: Postpones or avoids tasks because they like working under pressure and cannot deal with the stress
Overdoer: Someone that takes on too many jobs which may become overwhelming and may struggle to find time to start and complete one job never may several

Procrastinators vs. Non-Procrastinators

“Non-procrastinators do not have a care in the world they are very focused individuals that have good time management and can work under pressure and to deadlines. Non-procrastinators are assertive with strong personal identity do not care what others think about them. According to psychologist Piers Steel, people who don’t procrastinate tend to be high in the personality trait known as conscientiousness, one of the broad dispositions identified by the Big Five theory of personality. People who are high in conscientiousness also tend to be high in other areas including self-discipline, persistence, and personal responsibility.

Procrastination

When procrastination becomes chronic, it may begin to have a serious impact on a person’s daily life and this can become a serious issue. In such instances, it’s not just a matter of having poor time management skills, it’s a major part of their lifestyle.

Procrastinators may avoid paying their bills on time, may come into work late, or delay starting assignments until the night before the deadline, this could include delaying gift shopping until the day before a birthday, and even filing their income tax returns late.

Procrastination can have a serious impact on a person’s daily life routine, this, in turn, can cause serious health issues including mental health. Social, professional, and financial well-being can be affected including:

Significant higher levels of stress and illness
The increased burden placed on social relationships
People not understanding which leads to resentment from friends, family, co-workers, and fellow students
Financial Difficulty from the consequences of late bills and late payment charges.

Overcoming Procrastination

Re-wire your mind, control your thoughts and stay focused.
Create a critical time path and map out each task in a journal or calendar, and set reminders.
Create a to-do list: To help keep you on track, consider placing a due date next to each item.
Take each step at a time, do not rush, and tick off each completed task. Take baby steps: Consider breaking down the items on your list into small, manageable steps.
Have time to meditate for 5 mins in the morning and 5 minutes before you go to bed.
Recognize intrusive thoughts and the warning signs, pay attention to any thoughts of procrastination and do your best to resist the urge. When you have a negative thought quickly put that thought into your imaginary bin and quickly replace it with a positive thought.
Create a tranquil setting where you cannot be disturbed. Eliminate all distractions including social media if you do not use them for business use.
Be self-disciplined, be assertive, and try to work slowly and take one task at a time.
Reward yourself with a self-gift for every task completed, it could be a simple bar of chocolate to a more expensive present you have been meaning to buy yourself. Knowing that once you have completed your task and looking forward to receiving your well-deserved purchase makes the job even more worthwhile.

#procrastination #selfdiscipline #intrusivethoughts #assertiveness #selfesteem #avoidance #distractions #meditation #stress #mentalillness #ocd #adhd #fear

Stress & Depression are the root cause of OCD.

October 4, 2022 / EDITOR / 1 Comment

Up to ½ million people in the UK have work-related stress often resulting in illness. Up to 5 million people in the UK are ‘very’ or ‘extremely’ stressed through work. ‘Stress, depression, and anxiety are the second most commonly reported work-related illnesses. https://www.stressuless.com/stress.html

Stress & Depression are the root cause of OCD.

Depression may be related to the personal stress developed at home or work. Depression may result after the onset of OCD as in the article below but Depression can also be the result of traumatic events in a person’s life such as Grief which causes a Domino Effect.

Depression | OCD-UK (ocduk.org)

The Link Between OCD and Major Depressive Disorder (verywellmind.com)

What Can Trigger a Depressive Episode? | White Light Behavioral Health (whitelightbh.com)

Renata’s Online Journal Health Update.

I will talk about 5 things relating to me and how they are impacting my life and what I am doing in terms of therapy.

Stress
Anxiety
OCD
Intrusive Thoughts
Depression

Stress

I am under a tremendous amount of stress for the following reasons:

I have an ongoing dispute with British Gas and it is currently being investigated by the ombudsman.
I have clients dropping like flies because they no longer can afford to pay for their websites due to the price rises of the cost of living.
I am concerned about the stability of a brand new computer that the manufacturer refused to replace or give a refund for. (I am tired of all the arguing I am having to do).
The uncertainty of what the future holds,

I wrote a letter 15 pages long to my GP (Doctor) after I received a letter to make an appointment for my annual medication review, but they could not send me a letter when I wrote to them (9 pages long) in May 2021. I sent both letters via email and both letters were acknowledged and put on the system with a response that a clinician will contact me…I am still waiting for a reply to my letter.

There is a clue in the 4 points I mentioned that can narrow down to the underlying root of how I am feeling, albeit I am also suffering from the aftermath of the domestic violence I endured on top of the daily stresses.

Anxiety

SYMPTOMS OF ANXIETY

Anxiety may present with any of the following symptoms:

Nervousness (I do get nervous when I have to do things I am unfamiliar with relating to work or have to start a dispute to the point I actually feel sick).
Being overly and constantly worried (I try to keep myself busy so that I do not have to think too much about my problems).
Restlessness (I cannot sit and do nothing, I have to do something, I cannot do idle chitter chatter, I think sitting at a table talking nonsense whilst socializing is a waste of time, I would much rather learn something or turn the wheel to generate business than attend social gatherings -although I cannot at the moment because of my social disconnection issues).
Feeling a lump in your throat (If I recall experiencing fear or being in fight or flight mode I have experienced an uncomfortable feeling of finding it hard to swallow).
Difficulty concentrating (I have noticed that I cannot concentrate on reading books, it’s as if my mind wanders).
Fatigue (I am tired usually when I wake from the interrupted sleeping pattern and a combination of taking my med, so I counteract this by drinking energy drinks that are high in caffeine).
Irritability (I am only irritable if things do not go my way).
Impatience (I have a short fuse, I do not have patience and I can be rude at times although I usually do apologize I get irritable of people play me to be a fool. people should be careful to insult my intelligence).
Muscle tension (Not that I have noticed other than back pain or electricity shooting in the back of my neck but that could be related to Epidural Analgesia).
Insomnia (I take medication to send me to sleep otherwise my mind would be racing all night long and I would not be able to sleep).
Excessive sweating (Not that I have noticed personally)
Shortness of breath (If I have a panic attack, if I am extremely anxious, or if something has really upset me to the point I am becoming a nervous wreck I have been known to have a shortness of breath especially if I have been in a fight or flight mode due to domestic violence).
Stomachache (My mother suffered from stomach problems I always thought she was intolerant to certain foods but as I reflect my stomach is normally fine).
Diarrhea (Energy drinks do that but the way I relate to this it helps to flush all the toxins out and helps with weight gain).
Headache (If I get really stressed my head will thump).
Appetite changes (I have not noticed an increase or decrease in appetite but sometimes crave chocolate, but don’t we all).

OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder)

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is a mental health disorder that causes distress to the sufferer, it may be a recurrent pattern of unwanted thoughts (obsessions) such as germ contamination that lead to repetitive behaviors (compulsions) such as to disinfect and quarantine. Obsessive thoughts are uncontrollable fears, ideas, sensations, or impulses that trigger extreme distress.

Because I am stressed my OCD is more visible. I may have to change my clothes multiple times in the day if I think I have brushed past something by accident. I am unstable in keeping my balance (cerebellar atrophy).

I go through about 500 pairs of disposable gloves a day and find it hard to touch things with my bare hand without disinfecting them straight after with Dettol. It has to be Dettol as the other brands I cannot get my head around that they will do the same job even though they claim they do, maybe it is my OCD that makes me think this way.

I have a quarantined area where no one can step foot apart from me, not even my daughter can touch anything that I deemed to be sanitized. I am really sad that I cannot give my daughter a hug, I really wish I could but something stops me. I know it is not her it is me and one day I will be in a better place because in the 30 years I have suffered with OCD I have managed to control it to the point it was not so prominent until I had an onset of traumatic events that caused it to come back again with a vengeance.

I am 100% convinced if I did not have stress, did not endure traumatic events, and if I did not have depression because of the stress and I was in a HAPPY PLACE my OCD would be under control. I would not say it would be 100 % cured because depending on my stress levels it would never be totally eradicated. Some people can deal with stress better than others. Some people, smoke cigarettes, drink alcohol and take recreational or prescribed drugs. I only take prescribed drugs for my OCD and they do not work other than sending me to sleep.

I am always on the lookout for different ways I can control my OCD but I have only found hypnosis and meditation to help with the healing process. I am studying neuroplasticity and how to rewire our brains.

In order for hypnosis to work, it has to be done consistently, you will not be cured in a day, week, or month. This has to be a daily occurrence until you start noticing a change. I have completed my diploma for hypnosis and yes I did hypnotize myself successfully but I need to do it every day and with work commitments and everything else that is going on in my life I am too tired and end up falling asleep. You should do hypnosis just before you do to sleep or when you wake up. Other times you can do it during the day without distractions and religiously around the same time of the day.

Although I can do hypnotherapy I do not practice it and have never tried to do it on anyone else.

Different Types of OCD

https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/obsessive-compulsive-disorder/

Intrusive Thoughts

I live in rented accommodation and have lived in the same property for 24 years. Although I have had money in the past to buy a property I was never focused and did not understand the consequences of my actions in planning for the future. I lived in the moment and never planned my life ahead.

My intrusive thoughts are:

Will my abuser return to the UK to pay me a visit? (That is part of the reason why I have not left my home because I am scared he may be lurking around.
Will I crash and burn and lose everything? ( I got robbed a few years ago and all my valuables were stolen. I have replaced the majority of things and do not want to lose them again.
Will my daughter’s health deteriorate (she suffers from multiple sclerosis)?
Will my health ever improve?
Will I ever be happy and in a happy place?
Thoughts that cause triggers like the death of Queen II, and although the news is sad and I know a family is grieving, it has however revived memories of my parents and my brother passing which has made me have thoughts such as if our loved ones are watching over us are they disappointed in me or are they happy that I am doing everything I can to turn my life around?

Depression

Symptoms of Depression are:

Continuous feelings of low mood and/or sadness (I try to keep myself busy so that I do not have time to dwell too much on all the things that have gone wrong in my life).
Feeling hopeless and helpless (Yes I do feel hopeless at times but I always try to find the energy to fight until I reach my goals -yes I have set goals, you have to, you need to have a plan).
Having low self-esteem (When I wake it is like one of those movies where the person dies and comes back again and nothing has changed, well it is like that for me, I eat, sleep and repeat and nothing changes).
Feeling tearful constantly (I cannot say I am tearful it takes a lot to push my buttons although British Gas (Energy Supplier) did drive me to tears, so I reported them).
Feelings of guilt (I feel guilty for squandering my money. Had I been focused and taught how to manage my money I would be in a different place now, but you learn the hard way I have many regrets and if I could turn back time with what I know I would have done things differently knowing what I know now. I feel guilty for being stupid with my finances and the people that I trusted). I also feel guilty for distancing myself and perhaps not contacting people sooner that have now passed away (old people).
Feeling irritable (I only get irritable if things do not go my way or if I have to deal with stupid people)
Having no motivation or interest in hobbies and interests (I have plenty of things to keep me occupied, the websites that I own and manage for my clients keep me busy, never mind my content writing. I am motivated because I have gotten this far so I am not going to give up even though when I wake it takes me a minute or two to tell myself that today may be the day that things change for the better, so I carry on).
Being indecisive (I sometimes procrastinate over things such as whether should I start a certain project or not, or if can it wait and I end up putting it off again and again).
No real enjoyment in life (I live on the internet my physical self is just a vessel that keeps me going. I do not think of my life in the physical sense I have socially disconnected from the outside world other than for the couriers and workmen that come to the property and I am happy this way. Would I do things differently if I did not have OCD or feared ever crossing paths with the people that caused me harm, I don’t think so. I am happy in my own company)
Feeling anxious and/or worried (My mother was a worrier and I must take after her, she also had undiagnosed OCD. Yes my intrusive thoughts do sometimes get in the way, hence I keep myself busy so that I do not have time to think).
Thoughts of harming yourself or suicidal feelings (This is furthest from my mind. I was at my lowest and for a millisecond it did cross my mind when I endured all the physical and mental abuse from my abuser but I told myself if I quit he would win so I turned my thoughts around to show him that everything he said was wrong and that I would be successful and he would live to regret treating me the way he did).
Loss of appetite – although sometimes can see an increase in appetite (I see food as energy when I am hungry I will eat, I do not watch my calories and try to eat healthy most of the time, I have no problem with my appetite, in fact, I should really lose a bit of weight considering I do not exercise because (a) I do not venture out (b) My knee pain would be too excruciating to walk very far).
A general lack of energy (Because of my medication, I feel so tired when I wake so I counteract that by drinking energy drinks that are high in caffeine which causes a domino effect and causes me to have an overactive bladder)
Low sex drive.
Trouble sleeping (I do have trouble sleeping but that is alleviated with the prescribed medication, however with the interruptions to my sleep because of my overactive bladder I find when I wake I am very tired so have to drink energy drinks to keep me awake).
Avoiding social interaction (I have social disconnection issues and I prefer my own company)
Difficulty maintaining family relationships (I do not have any close relatives living in the UK other than my daughter and we have a close bond, my brother and all his children live in the USA, I guess it must be very hard for their mother who lives in the UK).

What Can Trigger a Depressive Episode? | White Light Behavioral Health (whitelightbh.com)

My Dreams, Aspirations & Goals

My dreams, aspirations, and goals are one day to be in a happy place living a happy life, be financially free and most of all not suffering from OCD, Stress, Anxiety, or Depression. I want to one day when I retire travel the world and photograph everything I see. I want to one day be able to document my journey and leave a legacy.

I want to motivate and inspire people so that they can be led on the right path.

I will continue to do what I am doing because I sense where I am supposed to be, is the right place to be. By continuing writing and researching I not only help myself I also help others. This online journal is my therapy because it gives me a platform to voice my knowledge, thought and opinions.

My dreams are to reach my goals.

#stress #anxiety #intrusivethoughts #ocd #obsessivecompulsivedisorder #depression

25 Signs Your Family Do Not Care

The Weight of Family’s Lack of Support: Impact on Mental Health

Conclusion

Further Reading

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Abusive Relationships – What Women Should Do

Abusive Relationships – Empowering Women to Take Control

Recognize the Signs

Seek Support

Safety Planning

Legal Protections

Therapy and Counseling

Self-Care and Self-Compassion

What is the definition of a narcissist?

Here are 20 common behaviors that narcissists and abusers may use to control their victims:

Conclusion

“Make the break before it is too late”!

“A person who abuses another does not care or love you. A person who loves you will keep you on a pedestal and will not harm you in any way. A person who loves you will be your protector, not your attacker”.

Further Reading

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When Your Family Does Not Support You.

List of Things Your Family May Not Support You In.

How Your Mental Health Is Affected.

It’s important to take care of your mental health and seek support if you are struggling. Here are some things you can do to take care of yourself:

The Impact On The Lack Of Empowerment & Motivation.

Why Sometimes People, in General, Want You to Fail.

So how do you overcome the desire for others to see you fail? Here are a few tips:

Why People Do Not Care:

If Your Family Do Not Support You, Then How Do You Know They Love or Care About You?

Conclusion

Further Reading

Can being patronizing and condescending affect mental health?

What is the definition of patronization?

What is the definition of condescending?

Is showing pity deemed as condescending

List of patronizing and condescending comments

Editors Notes.

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How AI Chatbot Can Help Someone With Depression

Can AI Chatbots Keep A Lonely Person Company?

How A Missed Call Can Give You Anxiety

There are consequences to people’s actions.

How anxiety can affect a person’s life

The domino effect of people’s actions regarding mental health

Conclusion

Further Reading

Anxiety and Panic Attack, Personal Perspective

The symptoms I had were:

Fear, Anxiety & Panic Attacks

My Anxiety

“I will continue carrying on, one step at a time, until one day the universe manifests my desires”.

“I carry a battlefield of wounds and from my own personal experiences will tell my story”.

My Book Is Coming Out In 2023

“Like a Pheonix, From the ashes, I will rise and God help anyone that stands in my way. I am a survivor warrior and am iRenata”.

My OCD the Story of Renata Entrepreneur

Symptoms

What is OCD

Hereditary OCD.

The start of my OCD symptoms.

The straw that broke the camel’s back.

Coping with OCD over the years.

My Compulsions

My Triggers

Different Kinds Of OCD

Social Disconnection

My Therapy.

Germ Contamination

Motivating & Empowering & Advocate of OCD

Final Thoughts

Use the contact form below to drop me a line:

How to stop Procrastinating

What Is Procrastination?

Causes

Academics

What Is Cognitive Bias?

Depression

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

ADHD

Is Procrastination a Mental Illness?