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Month: October 2020 (Page 1 of 2)

Clinical Depression.

What is depression.

Depression is a feeling we have which sets our emotions and our moods to be become very low. This feeling can that last for weeks or many months.

Depression is not about feeling sad for a few days it is about the prolonged feeling we cannot shake. Depression is not about being weak. It is a real illness. Depression is feeling persistently sad for weeks or months, rather than just a few days.

Symptoms of depression include the feeling of unhappiness or feeling hopelessness. Our emotions at low levels cause us to have low self-esteem, loose confidence and general interest in every day life. At this level we no longer care about ourselves and what is going on around us. We no longer can focus properly and need to be steered in the right direction.

What is clinical depression.

Clinical depression is the more-severe form of depression, also known as major depression or major depressive disorder. It isn’t the same as depression caused by a loss of a loved one or a medical condition. It is a deep state of a very low self esteem, where you may have thoughts of suicide. This type of depression makes a person feel there is no way out and they simply want to stop themselves from feeling so miserable.

Clinical Depression is a like being in a very deep dark tunnel with no light at the end of it.

What would have made us happy once is no longer enjoyable. Clinical Depression can cause people to go into isolation away from other people. Facing people can be difficult and the avoidance of admitting there is something wrong is lessoned if a person with depression goes into solitary confinement.

People with depression are less likey to answer their phone or socialise. However this can lead to loneliness which can turn into a viscious circle which sometimes a person cannot get out of.

Some people with depression turn to drinking alcohol excessively or using recreational drugs. Some become dependant on prescription drugs that they may abuse.

Depression can be set off by stressful or traumatic events at home or at work or even at School, College or University. Stress could be caused by being put under pressure and the fear of failing or loosing or having lost something or someone.

Self employed people who have jobs that require fast results may under pressure have an overwhelming feeling of fear, sadness and hopelessness. Entrepreneurs have to work even harder to put food on the table unlike a job with a regular wage. An entrepreneur may have the added pressure of paying for all his business overheads, staffs wages and getting more business in before paying him/herself. Some people simply cannot cope and crack under the strain.

Depression could also be caused by the emotion of feeling sad from problems in your personal life with a partner or it could be because of your personality or family history, it could even be from giving birth (Post Natal Depression). Depression could be simply accepted into society or having to be under tremedous amount of strain to pass a test or find your next job. It could be that you have been made redundant and feel your life is crumbling right in front of you. The pressure of paying your bills and your mortgage can sometimes drive a person to breaking point.

There are many reasons why people become depressed it could be financial problems and the fear of your life spiralling out of control. The feeling that perhaps you have no one to turn to.

I have listed useful links below including Samaritans.

Whatever the cause believe it or not, there is a light at the end of the tunnel and there is always someone you can talk to.

It’s amazing how many people are suffering with depression but simply do not know where to turn to or that there are others experiencing exactly the same emotions as you.

Talking to someone always helps and there are may support groups around to help you. Samaritans will talk to you confidentially any time of the day or night 7 days a week. They won’t ask you personal questions or even your name. You can even block your telephone number if it makes you feel better. They will give you ideas and options of how you can get out of the dark spell your under. Remember there is a prblem to every solution, you just need to know where to look.

Nothing can be so bad that cannot be fixed.

Useful Links:

What is Anxiety

What is Stress

What is Depression

Suicide Healthline

Further reading:


Dysphagia is the medical term for problems with swallowing food and drink.

Some people find it difficult to swallow certain foods or liquids, while others can’t swallow at all, other side effects include: coughing or choking when eating or drinking. bringing food back up, sometimes through the nose.

I know this may sound horrifying or even disgusting but on and off depending what food I eat and if I have taken small bites will determine if I do not have the feeling I am chocking and that food is stuck and won’t go up or down. This usually occurs if the food is dry and if I have taken large bites. Normally I have to chew my food like a cow chewing grass. Eventually it gets monotinus and I loose the enjoyment of the food I eat. If only there was a pill form where you could choose your meat and veg and have the taste and nutrician plus the feeling you have had a slap up meal all in one.

In fact In 1936 the Jefferson City Post-Tribune ran an article recounting the views of Dr Milton A Bridges of Columbia University. In it, he declared: “Human beings are never going to eat pills for meals” (why not? I would try it for certain) he went on to say “pills can never be made to contain sufficient caloric volume”.

Reading this I would find this would be an idyllic solution to my problem, popping a pill saving time sourcing the produce, cooking and then chewing, not to mention loosing weight in the process with the low calorie count, how wonderful that would be. Imagine your gas or electric energy bill would also drop in the process. But this is not an ideal world and Government and the Economy would be effected hence it is never going to happen, not in my life time anyway. This would also solve world hunger but one would need to have calories as our bodies need on average of 2000 calories per pay so we would have to pop around 400 pills per day just for calories alone. (My theory if that was the case would be to crush them and mix them up as a smoothy formula).

To think how many hours we waste shopping for groceries, packing and unpacking, preparing and cooking and then sitting and eating for me I could be doing something else as time is precious. Imagine how much packaging we could eliminate from our lives whilst saving the planet in the process.

What is the likely cause of the dysphagia?

Certain disorders such as multiple sclerosis, muscular dystrophy and Parkinson’s disease can cause dysphagia. Neurological damage. Sudden neurological damage, such as from a stroke or brain or spinal cord injury, can affect your ability to swallow.

I wonder if this may be linked to Cerebellar Atrophy & Epidural Analgesia? I am not an expert but it seems a bit of a coincidence that I have the above ailments and find it diffucult to swallow at times.

How to Treat Dysphagia includes:

  1. Exercises your swallowing muscles.
  2. Evaluate your Diet and perhaps change the foods you eat. (Don’t know if there is a recipe for a full english breakfast smoothy).
  3. Dilation.
  4. Endoscopy. ( I had this proceedure done they made me swallow barium and then they stuck a camera down my throat), besides this is for diagnosis purposes and not for ment as a cure.
  5. Surgery. (Not guaranteed to be a successful and you may have to repeated surgeries).
  6. Medicines. ( I have been prescribed Gaviscon Advanced Mint tablets, as I suffer with acid reflux which is also associated Dysphagia.

Further reading can be found here:

Epidural Analgesia

Epidural analgesia most commonly known as a pain relief for women in birth labour and older adult patients. It’s used to manage postoperative pain, procedural pain, trauma pain, or labour pain. The method is the proceedure of administrating opioids and/or local anesthetics into the epidural space.

.Epiduaral Space.

Epidural Analgesia proceedure is performed by inserting a needle in the epidural space, lower back and injecting analgesics, or by threading a catheter through the needle. A similar proceedure is used for lumbar punctures.

Whilst epidural analgesia is used to elleviate pain during labour, epidural anesthesia on the other hand is used to provide anesthesia during delivery and surgical procedures.

Epidural anesthesia paralyses the bottom half of your body temporarily where you will experience loss of sensation and motor function and involves the administration of local anesthetics and/or opioids into the epidural space at a larger dose than what was administered during labour to achieve epidural analgesia.

I remember having both proceedure and the anaesthetist running an icecube or so he told me down my leg and asked if the feeling was hot or cold and I said it was hot. For all I know he could run a pen down my leg and I would not have known. Come to think of it, this was in theatre so where would he have got an icecube from? lol.

Now 20 years on after the birth of my daughter if I bend at an angle for about two to three minutes I experience excruciating pain and my whole back spasms in which all I can do is sit down in order to stop the pain. I first noticed I had a problem after my daughter was born by c-section and when I came home my upper part of my back cramped whereby I could not move. As the years went on I knew that there was an underlying problem but did not think there was anything anyone could do. Nowadays even washing up or bending to lift grocery shopping can cause my back to spasm.

Fortunately for me I work for myself and do not need to have permission to have time off if I am feeling unwell or procude a sick note and seeing I am working remotely do not have to move from the comfort of my home/office.

Long-term proceedure of epidural analgesia are used to manage persistent (chronic) pain, including cancer-related pain.

Long-term epidural catheters can be surgically implanted and attached to an implanted or external infusion device.

For me even though I do have these spasms there is no way on earth I would I ever have another proceedure done to correct the first one unless it not invasive.

For me I just take Sopodol 30mg/500mg Caplets (codeine phospate) prescribed by my GP for the pain for my knee but also helps with other pain i.e. my back. I immediately have to sit with my back supported with a soft cushion. I also use Deepheat and Deepfreeze and to be honest I prefer the cold sensation to the warm. I also prefer to just spray the area rather than in patch or gel formula.

You can read more on Epidural Analgesia here:,(weeks%20to%20months)%20basis.

Side effects Epidural

1). Low blood pressure. It’s normal for your blood pressure to fall a little when you have an epidural.

2). Loss of bladder control

– (This is me, like clockwork running to the bathroom every two hours 24/7).

3). Itchy skin.

4). Feeling sick.

5). Inadequate pain relief.

6). Headache.

7). Slow breathing.

8). Temporary nerve damage.

9). Infection.

10) Permanent Nerve Damage.

11) Fits (convulsions).

12) Severe Breathing Difficulties.

13) Death.

** Please note due to the current panademic regulations do not go to your surgery but speak with your GP over the phone.

Imposter Syndrome

Have you ever doubted yourself and felt you are not good enough?

Have you ever had some one call you a fake or looked at you like your unreal?

Sometimes we have an element of self doubt and may actually believe we are not good enough because of other people perceptions of us.

Have you ever felt like you don’t belong or had someone point the finger?

Our world is surrounded by people pleasing. If people believe in you it gives you a feeling of euphoria and gives you encouragement.

However there will always be people for what ever their reasons may troll you, say negaitive things about you or simply make you feel less confident about yourself.

It could be you are a student and the popular kids gang up on you as you feel you cannot fit in, its their perception not yours or it could be people at work may say sarcastic comments or derogatory remarks in which you then start to doubt yourself.

We all try to do our best but if our best is not always good enough we may get judged.

People are very competitive and want to be like the Jones’s. So if you look like you do not fit in people tend to judge. It s the judging that can make you question your abilities. Just because your neighbour has a nice house lovely garden and top of the range car, they could be in deed very deep in debt and faking it and have no money in the bank, yet you who on the other hand may have less materialistic things to show but may have gold bullion or hundreds of thousands stock market shares.

Peoples ability to analyse a person on their looks or what they own could be so further from the truth and people should not judge a book by its cover. Just because your neighbour goes to work all dressed up in their flashy suit whilst you go to work in a jeans and t-shirt does not make you a lesser of a person. It’s the achievements you have succeeded in that will tell you apart.

Do not listen to what other people say. If you are a success no one can take that away from you.

Imposter syndrome depends on the strength of your mind, if enough people call you a fake or a fraud you start believing it, yet you have the ability to overturn those intrusive thoughts.

The same goes in abusive relationships when the narcissist tries to brain wash you into thinking you are not good enough and that you will not amount to much. The feeling you are loosing control of your own beliefs because of someone elses opinion can actually make you feel very insecure.

The feeling you experience is known as imposter syndrome. Psychologists often call it impostor phenomenon. It is estimated that 70% of people experience these feelings of lack of confidence at some point in their lives. According to a review article published in the International Journal of Behavioral Science, imposter syndrome affects all people from all walks of life.

The thought you are a failure and not good enough manifests in our minds and makes us feel like we are a fraud especially if you hear it from people that try to discredit us.

What is impostor syndrome?

If someone tries to discredit you, you start to have self doubt and only believe you will succeed because of luck, rather than talent or knowledge, experience or qualifications, this can be problematic. If you believe that you are unlucky your chances of succeeding are decreased because of your own beliefs.

We need to re-wire our brains that we are good enough and that someone elses opinion is their opinion and not yours or the rest of the worlds. People are far too often very judgemental and speak their minds which could cause the victim to feel less confindent about themeselves.

I was once was called a fraud by someone who tried discrediting me in court because I was called in as a ‘expert witness’ and he had a lot to loose due to a divorce hearing. I started to feel insecure (not because I did not know what I was talking about or the knowledge I had of my profession) but the fear of what people would think of me, based on the defendants outbursts. I remember I had stage fright and my cerebellar atrophy blocked out certain words which on the spot I could not answer (that did not mean that I did not know them). I am an author on the subject and manage several blogs and my report was prepared meticulously yet the defendant tried to discredit me and to make himself look better. If anything he was the fake and fraudster for claiming he was an expert registering crap domain names that had no SEO value, but I digress. He then contradicted himself and asked me to help him sell them, so if I was so useless and unprofessional at my job why would he have even bothered asking me?, as you can imagine I refused his offer and as soon as I got home blocked him from every social media platform. This was my way of regaining control of the situation. Enough said let sleeping dogs lie.

Impostor syndrome was first identified in 1978 by psychologists Pauline Rose Clance and Suzanne Imes. In their finding and their paper they wrote, their theory was that only women were uniquely affected by impostor syndrome.

However since then and with more research, studies have found that both men and women experience impostor feelings, and Clance published a later paper acknowledging that impostor syndrome is not limited to women. (She also created an impostor syndrome test.) Today, impostor syndrome can apply to anyone “who isn’t able to internalize and own their successes,” says psychologist Audrey Ervin.

Impostor syndrome expert Valerie Young, who is the author of a book on the subject, The Secret Thoughts of Successful Women, has also found patterns in people who experience impostor feelings:

“Perfectionists” set extremely high standards for themselves and others, and even if they meet 99% of their goals, they’re going to feel like failures. Any small mistake will make them question their own competence.

“Experts” feel the need to know to devour every piece of information on a subject before they start a project and constantly look for new certifications or trainings to improve their skills. They won’t apply for a job if they don’t meet all the criteria in the posting, and they might be hesitant to ask a question in class or speak up in a meeting at work because they’re afraid of looking stupid if they don’t already know the answer.

“Independant people also known as Soloists” feel they have to accomplish tasks on their own, and are reluctant to ask for help. Asking for help gives the perception that you are in someway weak, that you cannot figure it out on your own. This then may make people think they are a fake or fraud which in turn makes them think less of you.

People such as narcissists need to feel the need to success in all aspects of life regardless if it is at work, or as parents, or partners. The feeling they need to be in constant full control can cause them to feel anxiety if their goals are not met which could lead them to being abusive and belittling just to regain some power.

Learning abilities and Auto Immune Disorders.

People who have learning disabilites or auto immune disorders may have hidden talents and people cannot be characterised as fake or frauds if there are underlining issues. The person in question may actually be capable of completing assignments but in their unique ways. We cannot judge some one by their disabilities. A prime example would be Stephen William Hawking CH CBE FRS FRSA who was an English theoretical physicist, cosmologist, and author who was director of research at the Centre for Theoretical Cosmology at the University of Cambridge at the time of his death, yet he suffered with Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis or ALS is one of several types of motor neurone diseases. This did not make him into a lesser person and he persevered against all odds and was a world renowned genius, whom is recognised in his field for his accomplishments all over the world.

People who tend to struggle to recite things or work hard to accomplish things tend to makes themselves feel they aren’t ever good enough that they are failures. Their brain tells them that’s proof they’re an impostor. This is psychological and has nothing to do with other peoples perceptions of you.

Have you heard the expression “fake it till you make it”?, that is such bad advise as you should never portray to be someone you are not. If for example you are a web designers but cannot code if your life dependend on it do not go saying you are one. The same goes for any industry you cannot fake your way to becoming a doctor or dentist you need qualifications for that. Never fake it till you make it, as people will soon see the cracks when you fail to do your job properly. You also stand to give your industry a bad name if you pretend to be a professional but in reality you are a cowboy. Not only will you be seen in bad light and bad reviews spread like wildfire you could also potentially cause someone to loose money because of your incompetence. “Never fake it till you make it”.

Why do people experience impostor syndrome?

People experience imposter syndrome because of uncertainties and insecurities in their lives, although there is no single definative answer. Some experts believe it has to do with personality traits—like anxiety or neuroticism—while others focus on family or behavioral causes. Sometimes childhood memories can cause a person to suffer with imposter syndrome because of experiencing low grades in school and being judged or scolded by parents and peers. Favouritism also can play a crucial role where the parents favour a more brighter sibling over them, which could inevitably impact the childs behavourial patterns later on in life. The thought of being praised and appreciated and the longing of success is a viscious circle because if people are contastantly critisied eventually they start doubting themselves and start believing they are not good enough and therefore they believe they are fakes or frauds.

Re-Wiring Our Minds.

We should believe in ourselves and not be bothered what others think of us. We should stop worrying and procrastinating. Who cares about some other person’s opinion of you. You owe nothing to them. If someone judges you it is because they want to make them feel better about themselves. We know what we have achieved and what we can accomplish and just because others do not agree with you, thats their problem not yours. A person is not defined by someone elses opinion, a person is defind at what they have achieved.

” A seed grows with no sound but a tree falls with huge noise. destruction has noise, but creation is quiet. The power of silence. Grow Silently. Confucious.

Do not let anyone stand in your way. Embrace constructive critisism and learn from critique. No one can take away your knowledge. Other people’s personal opinions of you do not matter when they try to break you down. Build an invisibible wall and let the noise deafen their ears and not yours.

OCD -Germ Cross Contamination

OCD Germ Cross Contamination.

OCD Germ Cross Contamination.

Germs are all around us and we would not be able to live without them.

But for sufferers of contamination OCD the thought that germs can potentially harm people, OCD sufferers are more vigilant and will avoid germ contamination to safe guard themselves and others.

The wording ‘Germs’ refers to the microscopic bacteria, viruses, fungi, and protozoa that can cause disease. There are good germs and bad germs. The germs also know as (bacteria) help keep our digestive system in working order and keep harmful bad bacteria from moving in. Some bacteria are used to make medicines and vaccines. We also have good bacteria in our bodies to help fight bad bacteria. Scientists from the University of Georgia estimate the number of bacteria on our planet to be five million trillion trillion. Most People Encounter Roughly 60,000 Germs per day and germs live all around us in the air, in soil and water, and on food, plants, and animals (including on and in our bodies).

With an OCD germ contamination sufferer it is not always about washing and about keep things clean, it may be more to do with the intrusive thought and the prevention of germ cross contamination and the spread of germs.

An OCD germ contamination sufferer may avoid touching things that have not been disinfected or sterile, as everything that has been touched by someone else and not disinfected could possibly carry harmful germs.

An OCD germ contamination sufferer will avoid touching things that have been touched by someone else without taking measures to eliminate the possibility of cross contamination. This may include touching door handles with tissue, elbow or gloves which could also include toilet seats, handles and sink taps.

Anything that has been touched by another person potentially could have harmful bacteria including Door Handles, Public Chairs, ATM machines, Petrol Station filling up Nozzles and Card Machines,

When shopping several people may have handled a product before you, these people may be the ones that stack shelves with products that have been shipped from warehouses where other people have touched the same item before it ends up in your shopping basket and then in your home.

Imagine from the factory the item has come from may have been packed by person (1) and then shipped by another person (2), collected by another person (3) and then stacked by another person (4), with a total of four or more people handling the same item you have just purchased. This is just an example but once a product leaves a factory and goes on its journey it will be handled by multiple people.

Lets face it people are not doing as they are told and are not maintaining social distancing and are basically spreading germs.

If we all did as we were told and we all disinfected everything and stayed our distance the virus would be under control but its not.

For people especially teenagers who won’t be told, try keeping two teneages madly in love apart. Intermingling is happening under radar and until a vaccine is found this virus will continue to persist. Imagine two people living apart who are in a relationship, teenagers and adult alike how do you stop them from meeting up, you can’t and you won’t? Also try keeping bored teenagers in under lockdown. You would literally have to tag everybody. Maybe that is their master plan but I am not going to go into conspiracy theories on here right now. 🙂

For me social distancing is second nature to me and especially now my social anxiety is increased and am even reluctant to even meet and greet the delivery drivers let alone anyone else. I am at arms length when I have to collect a parcel and make them put it down on a wall until they are at a safe distance away from me.

I suffer with germ contamination OCD and the fear of touching things that have been touched by someone else without being disinfected is not incomprehensible to me. Hence I will avoid touching things and will handle items in a safe manner including removing all outer packaging carefully. The same goes for envelopes imagine how many people have touched that envelope before you and the saliva that stuck it down. How many letters have you opened that could be be licked by someone. Imagine the tons of post that is being mailed worldwide on a daily basis. How come no one has thought about this other than me? Licking envelopes and stamps is the equivalant to sending anthrax in the post.

Nothing gets touched with my bare hands that has not be made sterile or disinfected. I get it I cannot disinfect everything around me and would have to live in a sterile bubble if that was the case, but I try to maintain a sterile environment as much as possible.

I use over 1000 pairs of disposable gloves per month and about 6 litres of Dettol Antiseptic Disinfectant Liquid. Thats a small penace to pay if you want to keep your family safe.

Not everything that one washes can be washed at high temperatures as most professionals are suggesting for facemasks. Hence an alternative method of using Dettol Antibacterial Laundry Cleanser helps to kill 99.9%% of germs at low temperature in your washing machine.

Due to the coronavirus pandemic I am even more careful what I touch and am more vigilant especailly after I had intrusive thoughts about a takeout that was made up by someone else. I fought my thoughts but started to feel uneasy when I developed a mild sore throat which has now eased off thankfully. But the paranoia started to set in and it took some doing to overcome these unwanted thoughts.

Being labelled a germaphobe is not a laughing matter and one should not put labels on people. OCD is a mental health disorder and in my case it has flactuated since this Covid-19 Pandemic.

If you are to use disposable gloves only use them once and then immediately replace with a fresh pair (They are for one use only).

Always get rid of disposable masks carefully and never wear any mask twice, even if it is a washable cloth mask, as the pathogens could have landed on your masks whilst you were out (if you can’t see them how do you know they are not there).

Never share anything with another person, such as pens, keyboards etc without disinfecting them first.

Don’t worry about what people think, they should be more understandable especially in this present climate.

Always maintain social distancing and in the case of people you work with where you cannot maintain social distancing do not shake hands with them, especially if you do not want to whip out the hand santitiser straight after, as not to offend the individual and always wear your masks wherever posible and disinfect everything prior to use.

If anything do fist bumps, air hugs & kisses.

Germs could be on surfaces avoid touching public surfaces wherever possible and disinfect things before touching them.

Be vigilant of your environment and where pathogens can land on surfaces if they are airborne.

My recommendations for protecting yourselves and the products I use are as follows:

Do take a moment to watch the videos and the link I have attached to give you a better understanding about Germ Contamination.

If you found this post helpful please share and leave a comment. If you are finding things over whelming right now and simply want to chat just send me a message.

Stay Safe and Stay Strong.

Online Journal 21st October 2020 – Germ Cross Contamination.


As you are all aware we are all in Lockdown again in Wales as of Friday with the ‘Fire Break’, I’m sure the government make up words and phrases as they go along.

Anyway because of my OCD I have not ventured out and am concerned about eating things that have been prepared by hand eg. from bakeries. I am also concerned about flies especially fruit flies that are in fact dangerous to humans as they carry pathogens.

I am also concerned about cross contamination and how there is not enough being said about how a virus can land on surfaces and spread from one person to another. This not just about washing your hands frequently or staying your distance it is about: ‘cross contamination’.

Here are a couple of scenario’s someone who is a carrier (unaware they are infected) who does not wear a mask at home has cross contaminated their belongings, so these germs can be cross contaminated and transferred to other people, by sharing. The same with anything anyone else has touched before you could be riddled with germs.

No one is talking about this and its alarming.

Here is a video of how easily germs can spread:

So to end this short entry, I am feeling under the weather so to speak and just want to sleep. I want to bury my head in the sand and wait for this pandemic to go away.

I am also paranoid about my fruit fly infestation I seem to have in my home and am spending a fortune on fly spray. These flies are stressing me out.

So not only do I have to worry about the pandemic and how to keep my family safe I have to contend with these parasites. Like I have nothing better to do with my life…..

Anyway I digress, I may be in need to take time out to just chill and re-charge my batteries. I am better at taking breaks than I used to be, as before I would not switch off.

The things I cannot live without at the moment are fly spray for sure and I will list all the things I use to try and combat my OCD. The other thing is disposable gloves and Dettol, it has to be Dettol as no other brand will do, well not in my eyes. I am sure other brands do the job just as well but my brain is wired to use Dettol products.

Knowing Your Boundaries

Former Secret Service Agent Reveals How to Adopt a Commanding Presence | Evy Poumpouras


Knowing your boundaries and the lines that people can cross will help you understand about trust.

Trust is conditional or unconditional.

Conditional Trust: is where you enter an agreement with the car sales person or a business partner. These types of agreements have an element of risk and can be broken.

Unconditional Trust: is where by you have a life partner or family member and find that if this trust gets broken it could potentially crush you.

I have linked an excellent video about learning about setting boundaries and learning to trust people.

I would also recommend reading Evy Poumpouras book:

Becoming Bulletproof: Protect Yourself, Read People, Influence Situations, and Live Fearlessly Hardcover – Illustrated.

by: Evy Poumpouras Author- Ex Secret Service Agent.

Online Journal 17th October 2020

Today started off with me having to write a legal notice to my clients ex-website designers that have cybersquatted his domain name.

I then get a phone call from Argos telling me the gas cooker I ordered the other day could not be delivered. This is a nightmare of a story as originally I ordered an electric one over a month ago and they I was told I needed to have fitted a 32amp wall socket which even though I paid for delivery recycling and installation they could not fit my new appliance as I did not have the right connections. So being naïve as I have not got a clue about electrics, I got myself some quotes and found out the it would cost me over £500 just for re-wiring. Hence I ordered a Gas cooker a few days ago and today I get another bombshell. So I have to order my third cooker only to be told it could not be delivered until 17th December 2020.

Now reading back on the post I made on my marketing blog the other day and looking at the gesture of goodwill which was £20.00 the customer service rep gave me, today the new customer services rep only wanted to take this back the £20.00 and give me less of a refund for the difference in price of the original cooker, but it was until I reminded her what the other women had said, she agreed to pay me the full amount of the difference of the price of the original cooker.

Now with my daughter passing her driving test yesterday she only decides to put pressure on my to buy her a car today, whilst I am trying to sort out Argos.

I felt sick in the gut for being under so much pressure and have felt ill all day. Again it is 23.49 pm and it seems the norm for me to be working late. I am taking tomorrow off.

Online Journal 16th October 2020

I should start by saying that I have not gone to bed yet as its 02.49am and I am still working.

Yesterday 15/10/20 was very stressful for me, in which I was on the verge of tears trying to hold it together when I found out I need my whole house re-wired to install a new cooker I had bought from Argos about a month ago.

No where on their website did it say when buying a cooker you need to buy like for like.

Nor did it say if you do not have a 32 amp wall socket they will not install the appliance and that you would need to get a qualified electrician to rewire your home which would cost anything from £500 upwards.

I really wanted to yell at someone but I tried to compose myself long enough not to take it out on my daughter or my cat.

I could feel my body shaking like a rumbling earthquake. I was about to explode like molten lava.

Any stress I endure I notice my OCD levels increasing and find it difficult to surpress my compulsions and my obsessions.

Somedays I am like a ticking time bomb.

As the early hours of this morning turned to day and back to evening again I find myself typing away at 23.55 but waht a day its been.

I had some good news though my daughter passed her driving test. Aside of this I have been working fixing bugs all day on a couple of my blogs and networking, but I can safetly say I am going to now knock this on the head for tonight and get myself a relatively earling night.


Benefits of Working From Home

Working from home is now becoming the new norm and where people with disabilities may find it more difficult to work in normal working environments they can essentially adapt their homes around their disabilites.

The days of lining someone elses pockets whilst you slogg your guts out for someone else are long gone when you finally can say you are your own boss.

You no longer will have to explain yourself to no one and you will not be scrutinised if you come in late or take time off work. You can choose the hours you work to suit you.

The feeling you have once you master how to make a living from the comfort of your armchair is very rewarding and the feeling is amazing. You finally can say you have found a purpose in life.

Working as a entrepreneur does not come without hard work. You have to put in the hours which in turn will make your business into equity. Your business will become your asset once you become successful.

1. You can set your own hours of work

You can choose the hours you work and if you work from home you basically eliminate travel time and travel costs. Some people find it difficult getting up early for work. Working for yourself you get start whenever you are ready and not a minute before. Your efforts will be rewarded by the amount of time you put into your business. What you put in is what you will get out.

2. Scheduling your day around you.

Where before you would need to have a childminder whilst you were at work you now have the freedom to child mind whilst working for your self. Why have a stranger bring up your child when you can do it yourself. By setting up critial time paths (CTP) you can schedule your routine around you home life and your business and have more flexibilty in taking your children to school, doing errands and going to the gym.

3. Setting Foundations                              

A business startup starts with an idea which is branded, foundations set and the wheels are put in motion to allow the business to grow and be nurtured. You need a business plan and carefully construct all the steps to make your business a winning success.

4. Office politics

In a normal working environment, you can not sit and chat you have to get on with your work which you will be scrutinised and even repremanded. On the other hand working for yourself you can choose to chat and for however long you like without it interfering with your work and you won’t have someone looking over your shoulder.

5. Earning potential

It is actually possible to make a decent living from working online, from vlogging, dropshipping and influencing and affiliate marketing. Many millionaire have been made this way. You can also offer services like website design, marketing and SEO. Research and learn everything there is to know about setting a business from home. Remember nothing is guaranteed especially when it come to entrepreneurship. You will only get what you put in. Being an entrepreneur will not make you a millionaire over night, you need to work hard at it to succeed.

6. Turning your Business into a Success

You will have more time to do the things you like once you have built your empire. You will then be able to work as many or as little hours as you like once your business is a success giving you more time to do things you love doing such as painting, photography, travelling, volunteering and charity events etc.

7. The World is your Oyster

You are only a step away from being your own boss and there is pleantly of advice on the internet including books that you can read. Knowledge is Wealth. What you learn no one can take that away and that in itself is an asset.

Here are some books I recommend you reading:

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