Online Disability Magazine, Disability Business News, Advertising, Digital Marketing, Video Marketing, Website Design, SEO/SMO, Domain Brokering, Business Coaching, Photo Editing, Graphic Design, Content Writing, Photojournalism/Journalism

Month: November 2020

Why People Do Not Care.

Why do people not care?

There are various reasons why someone does not care.

  1. The person has had parents that have not showed any love or affection
  2. This applies to men, where their social upbringing tells them that crying makes them weak and to man up if they are hurting and not to be a big girls blouse. Hence men may not show emotion.
  3. A person may have built a defence mechanism to shield themselves from harm.
  4. A person maybe brainwashed by political or religious groups.
  5. The person has been abused, physically, mentally or both (domestic violence).
  6. The person was raped.
  7. The person was traumatised by grief of losing a loved one.

People only care if they are directly affected by something or someone. This could be their beliefs in which they would be advocates or for people that they know such as family, friends and sometimes even co-workers. It the social connection people have with one another that allows them to show emotion to another person.

The only other times people will care is they are on the job and must, i.e. Doctors & Nurses, Firefighters, Care-workers (who are doing good for society as a whole rather than getting personal) or if a person randomly witnesses someone that needs their help like for example if someone was injured or dying. Volunteering is an act of kindness but does not mean necessarily you care about an individual but more so about a cause.

However if you are doing good does not always mean you care it is how you want to be perceived by others. Doing good for soiciety can only be praised and its out acts of kindness without getting personal that helps us be a better person and make a difference in the world. By helping with a cause, one could be passionate about something and may want to make a mark in society that they have tried to do good, call it a legacy if you will. Our emotitions should not be confused with our acts of kindness (we do not have to care to be kind, it could be our moral duty to be kind). Kindness is an act of compassion which relates to wisdom, confidence, and courage. Kindness is a strength we have to help others. Being compassionate is an attitude we have to dealing with a problem.

People that show no emotion at all or are controlling are called narcissists. However not everyone is without empathy.

Most people care about their family and friends but will not extend to strangers. That is why there are so many homeless people because if society cared they would try to help or take them in. Not all homeless people are junkies and even if they were, there are rehab centres and shelters they can go to if people took a moment to help them out of their busy life rather than walk on by.

How many of us have thrown a penny or two at a homeless person or thought “get a job”? (Before you say anything this has never crossed my mind but I bet you bottom dollar it has to so many people). How many of us have stopped to ask if that person is ok or bought them hot food or a drink ( I know I have) or even given them something warm to wear.

Small acts of kindness will go a long way.

“I for one will show empathy to someone less fortunate than myself rather than an abled bodied person. The reason for this is I have built a barrier round myself and an extremely careful who I am associated with. I have trusted so many people in th past that have betrayed me and caused me harm. I am now extremely cautious who I let in. I find keeping myself to myself is the best form of practice”. I will sooner help a vulnerable person because they need my help not because I care but because it is my moral duty as a human being to help someone less fortuante than myself.

It does not say much about a person that walks on by and does nothing.

Mother Theresa once said “If I look at the mass I will never act. If I look at the one, I will.” These are the words of a woman whose acts of charity and kindness earned her sainthood.

For some people a single death can seem like a tragedy, however we cannot connect to amass loss of life unless we are somehow associated with that loss. Most often than not, the deaths of many simply becomes a statistic, something that happened to someone else, elsewhere.

For me I have be stricken by grief 3 times, never mind all other bad things that have happened to me, which I will be writing in my book”.

Seeing millions of lives lost through natural disasters, wars or to famine is just news that happened somewhere else and did not affect us directly hence we cannot associate ourselves with it.

We can become numb to the news that we hear, and our compassion can be consumed by our day to day living.

Paul Slovic, a psychologist at the University of Oregon who has studied psychic numbing for decades said “One is that it doesn’t deal with numbers in magnitude very well. If we’re talking about lives, one life is tremendously important and valuable and we’ll do anything to protect that life, save that life, rescue that person. But as the numbers increase, our feelings don’t commensurately increase as well.”

Paul Slovic’s research suggests that as statistical numbers associated with a tragedy get larger and larger, we become desensitised show less empathy. Therefore, this can make is less likely to act. Global disasters make people disassociate themselves from the atrocities and they start to become complacent that because it did not affect them there is little they can do and simply carry on with their lives like as if it never happened, even going on to say that they “feel bad” about what has happened but what can they do. Feeling bad which is showing sympathy is different to showing empathy.

Empathy is the ability to understand other people’s feelings just as we have experienced ourselves. Sympathy on the other hand is the ability to take part in someone else’s feelings, mostly by feeling sorrowful about their misfortune, in which we can dissociate.

The same goes with the Coronavirus Covid-19 Pandemic, because we have not been affected by it directly only indirectly some people will have a blasé attitude and may not take it as seriously as it is meant to be. This leads to a kind of apathy that is makes people complacent about hand washing or wearing masks.

People who say they care in one breathe but do nothing to help a person in need in another breathe are false. The ones that say “I would if I could, but I can’t” are simply making excuses, because everyone can help if they tried.

If say someone has financial problems and the other person cannot help them out as they too have financial problems of their own, one still can help the person out by problem solving and researching the best options available.

I wonder next time you ask someone to help you how many will come forward….

Further reading: https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20200630-what-makes-people-stop-caring

How to React When Someone Blanks You.

How to Deal With Someone Who has Blanked You.

So how do you deal with people who blank you?

Being ignored hurts.

Deciding how to react can be difficult especially if you are not bosom pals.

  1. Try to evaluate the situation and consider the implications if you do confront the person and their reaction. They may be false and give you a half hearted apology. Try to think back to the last time you spoke to them (which in my case apart from the text was most probaby at the beginning of the year for my daughters birthday dinner). The situation was strained as I always think there is an ulterior motive to meeting up once a year when you do not bother with that person for the rest of the 364 days. Think of a time perhaps where they have been angry or hostile toward you? Did you say something to offend them? If so, they are probably still stewing over whatever it was set them off in the first place. On the other hand, if you had a great time with them last time, there’s probably a vey good reason they have blanked you. They could have been busy and not had the time to reply or simply forgotten. In my case and I have many people that contact with me on a daily basis I always find time for them and will not blank them as it does not say much about me if I did. Blanking is simply being rude.
  2. Ask another person that knows the two of you, why you’re being ignored. In some cases if you know the persons friends or realtives you could ask them. If the person ignoring you is a friend or coworker, ask a mutual friend or coworker who may know why you’re being ignored. Perhaps you have upset the person inadevtently and they have decided to just ignore you to avoid escalting any conflict. A third party might be able to assess the situation more objectively and help you figure out why you’re being ignored. In my case I could possibly ask me ex-sister in law from my other brothers marriage as this person does speak to her more often than I do. I personally think Madam has got too big for her boots.
  3. Confront the Bull by the Horns. Ask the person ignoring you directly why they are behaving this way. Confront the person ignoring you directly face to face and ask them what is upsetting them. If they are true they will give you an honest answer but if they are false they will be cowardly and say there is nothing wrong just to get you off the scent. Contront the person in a private and quiet place away from any distractions or send them an email or letter and calmly ask why they have chosen to ignore you. Express your feelings in a calm and courteous manner. Present evidence that they’ve been ignoring you, such as not returning your calls or emails, or not responding when you speak to them. Listen attentively to their explanation.

Final Thoughts.

Depending on the circumstances and situation it may be easier said than done and may prove to be awkward to tackle. If you are in a work place and you are being ignored during work time, confront the person or persons individually. Confronting them as a group may cause them to gang up on you. If that does not work then go to your superiors. If however it is during break times, again you can confront the person or persons one by one but tread with caution. You need to find the instigator and get to the bottom of why this is happening to you.

This is simple advice to be a better person, do no blank people, make time for people and consider peoples feelings.

Lack of Motivation.

Lack of Motivation.

Lack of Motivation.

I do not know about you but I have days sometimes where I feel so deflated. I was talking about this with my daughter who said some days she feels she does not want to get out of bed. Or she wants to go to the Bahamas on her own. Not all of us can go to the Bahamas at a drop of a hat and some of us have obligations and commitments, so although the idea sounds appealing I am staying put for the time being.

Today is one of those days, I feel I just want to waste my time watching Amazon Prime Videos all day.

I do not drink alcohol, only on social occasions and this year there is nothing social about it. My OCD will not permit me going to Pubs which are open in Wales. Its unfortunate that our neighbour England is on lockdown again, but it is what it is and has to be done.

This got me thinking as I am very active on LinkedIn and a top recruiting firm in the UK, the CEO announced he was feeling not so motivated. He also said he was living alone which got me thinking how many other people are in the same boat and are contemplating their navals.

Life is full of obstacles and we need to find ways to train our brains that what ever is happening to us is just temporary and we have the power to change the situation.

If you have recently lost your job and are struggling to find work, what you do is create a job and be your own boss.

If your good with writing look for copy writing or data entry jobs. They are self employed positions.

You must promote yourself and your brand, no one will know you exist unless you tell them.

If you have a craft and are creative put your creativity online.

How about setting up your own ecommerce store and start dropshipping. With the current situation we are in, most people shop online.

Start a blog and do affiliate marketing. You need to create your blog first though before being approved for these programs.

What ever is going on with your life start being creative and start writng things down including all the pros and cons.

Start a dream board and focus on your goals.

Meditate and manifest your dream into reality.

My lack of motivation would disappoint my readers because if I did not write a post or two I would be letting people down.

I have gone too far now to give up.

I manage my clients blogs as well as my own so I have plenty of work to keep me busy.

But some days I feel sad because everything I do is not happening fast enough my goals seem so distant, but I know if I persevere I will get there in the end.

Motivation is the process that makes us initiates an action, whether it is getting up to go to the kitchen to researching and gaining knowledge online.

Our time is precious and should not be wasted. By learning something new, we are gaining knowlege which is more valuable than money or gold.

Motivation is defined by biological, emotional, social, and cognitive factors that activate our behavior.

Types of Motivation

There are two different types of motivation which are frequently described as being either extrinsic or intrinsic:

Extrinsic motivations are those that arise from outside our control and may involve rewards such as trophies, money, social recognition, or praise.

Intrinsic motivations are motivations that are from someone doing something off their own back like playing a game or completing a crossword puzzle purely for the personal gratification of problem solving.

Persistance.

When you set goals unless you follow them through you will not successed. You need to stay focused and need to be persistant.

Impact

Simply having the desire to accomplish something is not always enough. In order to achieve such a goal requires uou to follow it thorugh and not give up, the ability to persist through obstacles and endurance to keep going in spite of difficulties.

There are three major factors to motivation: activation, persistence, and intensity.

Activation involves the decision to start a specific task.

Persistence is the persisting effort towards a goal even though there may be obstacles.

Intensity is the ability to stay focused and concentrate into pursuing a goal.

You need to remember when you set your goals daily that you reward yourself for completing the task. You could do this at the end of the day, week or month. If you do not know how to reward yourself pay yoursef some money or treat yourself to something. By paying yourself and putting it into a seperate bank account you will be suprised how much money you make if your are persistant.

My downfall ten years ago was I did not know how to train my brain and was reckless with money. I was spiralling out of control was not fouced about my life and was living in cloud cuckoo land. I had no goals and felt my life had ended. It is only in the last five years I have done a lot of soul searching and gained a lot of knowledge online and its if the starter gun had been triggered because there is no stopping me now other than my mental health issues. But if I keep myself busy I have less time to think and less time to feel sorry for myself.

As for my financial habits I have now found a way to budget my money for everything and do not spend more that I need to. There ar plenty of money budget tools online but I use a simple word table and make it colourful. You could also do an excel spreadsheet.

So by doing this blog I am not just helping my readers I am also helping myself.

Tips

Everyone experience fluctuations in their motivation and willpower.

Sometimes we may feel highly driven and other times we may feel listless or unsure of what they want or how to achieve it.

If you feel low and simply have no energy, there are steps you can take that will keep you moving forward.

Some things you can do include:

  1. Take baby steps, just so one thing as I have done today with this post.
  2. If you have a big project that is too overwhelming, break it up into smaller projects.
  3. Have plenty of exercise and sleep.
  4. Change your diet and eat healthy
  5. Find Mentors.
  6. Do some networking.
  7. Remind yourself about your achievements in the past and what where your strengths lie.
  8. If there is something worrying you write it down do some reseach how to combat it.
  9. Talk to a friend or family member or on a group or forum, anywhere where someone is willing to listen and give advice.
  10. Take a bit of time out to do something else, knowing you always have your goal to come back to.
  11. Do not procrastinate, you have to believe in yourself even sometimes when no one else does.
  12. Create a Dream Board of all the goals you want to acheive in the next 5 year to 10 years.
  13. Meditate and envisge your goals manifesting.
  14. Reward yourself.
  15. Pamper yourself or if your a guy groom yourself.

Final Thoughts.

Do little things to make you life better and eventually you will make your confidence grow. Sometimes we have to start with ourselves and do a bit of soul searching and learn to love ourselves before we can find the power to prosper.

A seedling needs to be cared for on a daily basis before it gows into an oak tree!

Bipolar Disorder

What is Bipolar Disorder

Bipolar disorder is a mental health disorder that affects your mental state of mind and your moods. These mood swings can make the person feel very low or very high. Bipolar was originally referred to as manic depression.

Symptoms of  bipolar disorder:

Depression – feeling very low and lethargic

Mania – feeling very high and overactive

Unlike temporary random mood swings, each extreme episode of bipolar disorder can last for several weeks (or even longer).

However bipolar disorder carries excess baggage called depression. So depending if you are feeling very low will determine if you also have depression. Depression can be temporary and may last a few hours or a few days but when it rolls into weeks in can be defined as bipolar.

It can also have the polar opposite hence that is why it called bipolar you can be feeling very low or very high.

Feeling very high can include:

1). Exceptional energy

2). Restlessness

3). Trouble concentrating

4). Feelings of euphoria (extreme happiness)

5). Risky Behaviours

6). Poor Sleep

Patients may first be diagnosed with clinical depression before you have a manic episode (sometimes years later), after which they may be then as having diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

When the feeling of depression is too much to bear you may have overwhelming feelings of worthlessness, which can potentially lead to thoughts of suicide.

No one should suffer alone and if you think your life is pointless that is just your opinion and no one else’s, you can in fact pull your self out of this state by talking to someone or seeking advice.

If you’re feeling very depressed, contact your GP do not carry the burden yourself talk to someone, a friend, neighbour or family member. However if you feel you have no one to talk to at all there is the Samaritans you can phone them on: 116 123 for free who can listen and give you contact numbers to local mental health crisis teams without be judgmental or biased. They are just there to provide support so that you have someone you have someone you can talk to, you don’t even have to give your real name and you can hide your phone number. They are 100% on your side.

Catherine Zeta Jones Hollywood’s A-List Actress came out with being ‘Bipolar’.

There are four  types of bipolar disorder:

1). Bipolar 1 disorder

2). Bipolar 2 disorder

3). Cyclothymic disorder (cyclothymia)

4). Unspecified bipolar and related disorders

Catherine suffers from Bipolar 2 which is less debilitating .

Bipolar 1 and 2 disorders are the most common of all the other types of bipolar disorder.

Catherine mentions she never wanted to be a poster girl for the disorder and that it just happened to come out one day and now she labelled for having it.

There is nothing wrong with mental or physical disabilities and as she so rightly said “everyone suffers with one thing or another and you just get on with it” and adjust your life round your disability without it defining who you actually are.

People can manage with both physical and mental disabilities and can adjust their lives in a way that is manageable to them.

Final Thoughts.

I have OCD and Cerebellar Atrophy and I do have depression but my therapy is to keep myself busy and not have time to think about all the things that have gone wrong in my life but all the things that will make me happy.

I will not let these illnesses define me.

I am proud to be an ambassador to motivate and inspire people that what ever you are going through and whatever disability you have regardless if it is physical or mental that it is not the end of the world.

Use your disability as a stepping stone or tool to prosper. People who have similar disorders will relate to you.

Recommended Reading:

If you like my posts please comment and share.

Feeling Sad

We all go through moments in our live where we feel sad but for me I find it hard sometimes to deal with sadness, hence I consume myself with tons and tons of work so that I do not have to feel the pain.

However 99% of the time I can bury my sadness under a mountain of paperwork and on the rare occasions sadness rears its ugly head.

Today is one of those day I wrote a post on another blog about the implications of not maintaining social distancing and also that someone known to my family could be exposed to the virus through his works. https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2020/11/02/breaking-covid-regulations/

Unfortunately I cannot stop my daughter being in a relationship with this person and my daughter and I ended up in a heated argument where I said if this person does not get tested and is found to have contracted the virus and then it is passed to my daughter and I, I could potentially sue him and the company he works for because they have not sent home the bubble to quarantine.

My daughter immediatey went on his defence and said she was planning on moving out to live with this person and that she was washing my hands of me. I told her if she was to do that I would not support her, she would be on her own and she would not be able to come back. My father told me the same over 30 years ago hence that is why I ended up in Wales. It is not the first time my daughter has chosen her muppet boyfriends over me and told untrue tales to their parents to get some sort of sympathy. My daughter telling me she would wash her hands of me was like being stabbed in my heart.

Granted I told her “you make your bed and you lie in it, but do not think you can come back, you are an adult and you can make your own decisions, I have my own life in which you cannot come in and out of when you please”.

She knows about my depression and she knows that I do not talk to anyone about my problems I generally keep myself to myself, so you can imagine the sadness I am feeling right now.

Don’t get me wrong I will find other things to occupy my mind so that I do not have to think how much distain my daughter has towards me.

If I have coped with loss of my parents and my brother what is one more to the list, afterall I should be getting used to it by now.

I have a survival mechanism that takes time to kick but when it does I can block the feeling inside of me and anyone around me. I essentially am thick skinned and the more times I get hurt the colder I become.

With everything we do there are consequences with our actions, her boyfriend will feel my wrath if and when the time comes. I will tell him he was to blame for splitting my daughter and I up and he can take that to his grave.

In the course of the pandemic I not only have supported by daughter I have supported him also and has he even thanked me, of course he hasn’t, he is a very selfish individual.

I know what you must all be thinking and that is it will blow over and that my daughter will be different tomorrow, trust me he is influencing her to be independant of me. He does not like me and the feeling is mutual.

If you are feeling sad and have no one to talk to you can phone the Samaritans they are open 24/7 on 116 123 and they will not ask you any personal details like your name or where you live, you can stay anonymous, you can even withhold your telephone number, they are just there to listen and that is all. You can also email them at: jo@samaritans.org https://www.samaritans.org/?nation=wales

RECOMMENDED READING!