We all go through moments in our live where we feel sad but for me I find it hard sometimes to deal with sadness, hence I consume myself with tons and tons of work so that I do not have to feel the pain.
However 99% of the time I can bury my sadness under a mountain of paperwork and on the rare occasions sadness rears its ugly head.
Unfortunately I cannot stop my daughter being in a relationship with this person and my daughter and I ended up in a heated argument where I said if this person does not get tested and is found to have contracted the virus and then it is passed to my daughter and I, I could potentially sue him and the company he works for because they have not sent home the bubble to quarantine.
My daughter immediatey went on his defence and said she was planning on moving out to live with this person and that she was washing my hands of me. I told her if she was to do that I would not support her, she would be on her own and she would not be able to come back. My father told me the same over 30 years ago hence that is why I ended up in Wales. It is not the first time my daughter has chosen her muppet boyfriends over me and told untrue tales to their parents to get some sort of sympathy. My daughter telling me she would wash her hands of me was like being stabbed in my heart.
Granted I told her “you make your bed and you lie in it, but do not think you can come back, you are an adult and you can make your own decisions, I have my own life in which you cannot come in and out of when you please”.
She knows about my depression and she knows that I do not talk to anyone about my problems I generally keep myself to myself, so you can imagine the sadness I am feeling right now.
Don’t get me wrong I will find other things to occupy my mind so that I do not have to think how much distain my daughter has towards me.
If I have coped with loss of my parents and my brother what is one more to the list, afterall I should be getting used to it by now.
I have a survival mechanism that takes time to kick but when it does I can block the feeling inside of me and anyone around me. I essentially am thick skinned and the more times I get hurt the colder I become.
With everything we do there are consequenceswith our actions, her boyfriend will feel my wrath if and when the time comes. I will tell him he was to blame for splitting my daughter and I up and he can take that to his grave.
In the course of the pandemic I not only have supported by daughter I have supported him also and has he even thanked me, of course he hasn’t, he is a very selfish individual.
I know what you must all be thinking and that is it will blow over and that my daughter will be different tomorrow, trust me he is influencing her to be independant of me. He does not like me and the feeling is mutual.
If you are feeling sad and have no one to talk to you can phone the Samaritans they are open 24/7 on 116 123 and they will not ask you any personal details like your name or where you live, you can stay anonymous, you can even withhold your telephone number, they are just there to listen and that is all. You can also email them at: firstname.lastname@example.org https://www.samaritans.org/?nation=wales
Germs are all around us and we would not be able to live without them.
But for sufferers of contamination OCD the thought that germs can potentially harm people, OCD sufferers are more vigilant and willavoidgerm contamination to safe guard themselves and others.
The wording ‘Germs’ refers to the microscopic bacteria, viruses, fungi, and protozoa that can cause disease. There are good germs and bad germs. The germs also know as (bacteria) help keep our digestive system in working order and keep harmful bad bacteria from moving in. Some bacteria are used to make medicines and vaccines. We also have good bacteria in our bodies to help fight bad bacteria. Scientists from the University of Georgia estimate the number of bacteria on our planet to be five million trillion trillion. Most People Encounter Roughly 60,000 Germs per day and germs live all around us in the air, in soil and water, and on food, plants, and animals (including on and in our bodies).
With an OCD germ contamination sufferer it is not always about washing and about keep things clean, it may be more to do with the intrusive thought and the prevention of germ cross contamination and the spread of germs.
An OCD germ contamination sufferermay avoid touching things that have not been disinfected or sterile, as everything that has been touched by someone else and not disinfected could possibly carry harmful germs.
An OCD germ contamination sufferer will avoid touching things that have been touched by someone else without taking measures to eliminate the possibility of cross contamination. This may include touching door handles with tissue, elbow or gloves which could also include toilet seats, handles and sink taps.
Anything that has been touched by another person potentially could have harmful bacteria including Door Handles, Public Chairs, ATM machines, Petrol Station filling up Nozzles and Card Machines,
When shopping several people may have handled a product before you, these people may be the ones that stack shelves with products that have been shipped from warehouses where other people have touched the same item before it ends up in your shopping basket and then in your home.
Imagine from the factory the item has come from may have been packed by person (1) and then shipped by another person (2), collected by another person (3) and then stacked by another person (4), with a total of four or more people handling the same item you have just purchased. This is just an example but once a product leaves a factory and goes on its journey it will be handled by multiple people.
Lets face it people are not doing as they are told and are not maintaining social distancing and are basically spreading germs.
If we all did as we were told and we all disinfected everything and stayed our distance the virus would be under control but its not.
For people especially teenagers who won’t be told, try keeping two teneages madly in love apart. Intermingling is happening under radar and until a vaccine is found this virus will continue to persist. Imagine two people living apart who are in a relationship, teenagers and adult alike how do you stop them from meeting up, you can’t and you won’t? Also try keeping bored teenagers in under lockdown. You would literally have to tag everybody. Maybe that is their master plan but I am not going to go into conspiracy theories on here right now. 🙂
For me social distancing is second nature to me and especially now my social anxiety is increased and am even reluctant to even meet and greet the delivery drivers let alone anyone else. I am at arms length when I have to collect a parcel and make them put it down on a wall until they are at a safe distance away from me.
I suffer with germ contamination OCD and the fear of touching things that have been touched by someone else without being disinfected is not incomprehensible to me. Hence I will avoid touching things and will handle items in a safe manner including removing all outer packaging carefully. The same goes for envelopes imagine how many people have touched that envelope before you and the saliva that stuck it down. How many letters have you opened that could be be licked by someone. Imagine the tons of post that is being mailed worldwide on a daily basis. How come no one has thought about this other than me? Licking envelopes and stamps is the equivalant to sending anthrax in the post.
Nothing gets touched with my bare hands that has not be made sterileor disinfected. I get it I cannot disinfect everything around me and would have to live in a sterile bubble if that was the case, but I try to maintain a sterile environment as much as possible.
I use over 1000 pairs of disposable gloves per month and about 6 litres of Dettol Antiseptic Disinfectant Liquid. Thats a small penace to pay if you want to keep your family safe.
Not everything that one washes can be washed at high temperatures as most professionals are suggesting for facemasks. Hence an alternative method of using Dettol Antibacterial Laundry Cleanser helps to kill 99.9%% of germs at low temperature in your washing machine.
Due to the coronavirus pandemic I am even more careful what I touch and am more vigilant especailly after I had intrusive thoughts about a takeout that was made up by someone else. I fought my thoughts but started to feel uneasy when I developed a mild sore throat which has now eased off thankfully. But the paranoia started to set in and it took some doing to overcome these unwanted thoughts.
Being labelled a germaphobe is not a laughing matter and one should not put labels on people. OCD is a mental health disorder and in my case it has flactuated since this Covid-19 Pandemic.
If you are to use disposable gloves only use them once and then immediately replace with a fresh pair (They are for one use only).
Always get rid of disposable masks carefully and never wear any mask twice, even if it is a washable cloth mask, as the pathogens could have landed on your masks whilst you were out (if you can’t see them how do you know they are not there).
Never share anything with another person, such as pens, keyboards etc without disinfecting them first.
Don’t worry about what people think, they should be more understandable especially in this present climate.
Always maintain social distancing and in the case of people you work with where you cannot maintain social distancing do not shake hands with them, especially if you do not want to whip out the hand santitiser straight after, as not to offend the individual and always wear your masks wherever posible and disinfect everything prior to use.
If anything do fist bumps, air hugs & kisses.
Germs could be on surfaces avoid touching public surfaces wherever possible and disinfect things before touching them.
Be vigilant of your environment and where pathogens can land on surfaces if they are airborne.
My recommendations for protecting yourselves and the products I use are as follows:
Do take a moment to watch the videos and the link I have attached to give you a better understanding about Germ Contamination.
If you found this post helpful please share and leave a comment. If you are finding things over whelming right now and simply want to chat just send me a message.
As you are all aware we are all in Lockdown again in Wales as of Friday with the ‘Fire Break’, I’m sure the government make up words and phrases as they go along.
Anyway because of my OCD I have not ventured out and am concerned about eating things that have been prepared by hand eg. from bakeries. I am also concerned about flies especially fruit flies that are in fact dangerous to humans as they carry pathogens.
I am also concerned about cross contamination and how there is not enough being said about how a virus can land on surfaces and spread from one person to another. This not just about washing your hands frequently or staying your distance it is about: ‘cross contamination’.
Here are a couple of scenario’s someone who is a carrier (unaware they are infected) who does not wear a mask at home has cross contaminated their belongings, so these germs can be cross contaminated and transferred to other people, by sharing. The same with anything anyone else has touched before you could be riddled with germs.
No one is talking about this and its alarming.
Here is a video of how easily germs can spread:
So to end this short entry, I am feeling under the weather so to speak and just want to sleep. I want to bury my head in the sand and wait for this pandemic to go away.
I am also paranoid about my fruit fly infestation I seem to have in my home and am spending a fortune on fly spray. These flies are stressing me out.
So not only do I have to worry about the pandemic and how to keep my family safe I have to contend with these parasites. Like I have nothing better to do with my life…..
Anyway I digress, I may be in need to take time out to just chill and re-charge my batteries. I am better at taking breaks than I used to be, as before I would not switch off.
The things I cannot live without at the moment are fly spray for sure and I will list all the things I use to try and combat my OCD. The other thing is disposable gloves and Dettol, it has to be Dettol as no other brand will do, well not in my eyes. I am sure other brands do the job just as well but my brain is wired to use Dettol products.
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