Category: Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (Page 1 of 2)

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Serotonin & Chocolate.

Serotonin & Chocolate.

This is not my usual post as I was trying to promote a new business specializing in confectionery and initially I thought that it would be apt to promote it as a feel-good factor as I reckon anyone occasionally needs a bit of TLC regardless if there is nothing wrong with them or if they have mental or physical disabilities and most of us have a sweet tooth.

I for one when I am feeling low turn to chocolate as the current medication I am on is a waste of time other than it makes me drowsy just before bed.

The ingredients in Chocolate.

Tryptophan is an amino acid found in small quantities in chocolate and is also the precursor for Serotonin. … However, because chocolate contains tryptophan, the resulting increase in serotonin can help explain why one might feel happier, calmer, or less anxious after eating a piece of their chocolate cake (Serotonin).

Serotonin & Dopamine: The Neurological Benefits of Chocolate

Though chocolate is known for its ability to increase levels of the calming neurotransmitter serotonin, it also contains small amounts of a compound called phenylethylamine, which acts like an amphetamine, stimulating your brain cells to release dopamine.

Personal Experience.

I am currently taking prescribed medication which has serotonin (Mirtazapine 30mg).

In fact, I have only stumbled upon this article by accident: Mirtazapine can cause a life-threatening condition called “Serotonin Syndrome”. Your risk may be higher if you also take other drugs that have similar effects as mirtazapine. These include antidepressants or triptans, such as sumatriptan and zolmitriptan.

So you get prescribed medication to counteract your depression that may lead to suicide, where is the sense in that?

The pharmaceutical industry is a multi-trillion dollar industry and the end-user is basically the guinea pig at the end of the day. To be precise the pharmaceutical industry is responsible for the research, development, production, and distribution of medications. The market has experienced significant growth during the past two decades, and pharma revenues worldwide totaled 1.27 trillion U.S. dollars in 2020.

https://www.statista.com/topics/1764/global-pharmaceutical-industry/

According to the FDA:

FDA warning: Suicide risk

  • This drug has a black box warning. This is the most serious warning from the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). A black box warning alerts doctors and patients about drug effects that may be dangerous. (My doctor still has not answered a letter that the practice manager read and so did the cluster pharmacist which was sent 25th May 2021, this is negligence at its finest).
  • Mirtazapine may cause an increase in suicidal thoughts or actions. (I wrote in my letter I was feeling low when I found out my ex-husband had died).This risk is higher in children, teenagers, and young adults. It’s also higher within the first few months of treatment and during dosage changes. You and your family members, caregivers, and doctor should watch for any new or sudden changes in your mood, behaviors, thoughts, or feelings. Call your doctor right away if you notice any of these changes. (I did in May and am still waiting for a response).

https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/mirtazapine-oral-tablet#important-warnings

Can you sue your GP?

As medical professionals, GPs are given a lot of trust by their patients. If you believe that this trust has been breached and your GP has put your health at risk as a result of their negligence, then the law provides a remedy for you to obtain compensation. It is possible for you to sue any doctor who works in an NHS hospital, private practice, or GP surgery. Any Doctor treating you owes you a duty of care, so if that duty was breached and you have suffered as a result, then you may have a claim for compensation.

https://www.patientclaimline.com/medicalnegligence/gp-claims/

Note From the Editor:

To think I have been taken this drug for a good number of years not only to help with my OCD and my depression but also to deal with my insomnia as the drug is very sedative and does the trick as I fall asleep within 15 minutes of taking it. In fact, it is so sedative that I feel so lethargic when I wake up and have to resort to energy drinks to keep me awake. You would think that GP’s would let their patients know of any (DANGER HEALTH WARNINGS) from the FDA or EMA.

Not everyone researches about side effects and it does not exactly get advertised on social media channels or in the news.

“It is about time I ween myself off this drug and finds alternative remedies. I am going to stick with chocolate from now on but need to find something else that can help me fall asleep, any suggestions will be welcome”…

Natural Alternative Homeopathic Remedies – Confectionery.

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Pretentious People

Pretentious Meaning.

The definition of pretentious is an entity such as an institution or someone that claims to be very important or grand. An example of pretentious is someone saying they deserve a table in a crowded restaurant because of who they are. Pretentiousness is intended to impress or scare others. Pretentiousness can also be a tool to make people fearful in society.

Being pretentious means you are not equal to another person and that you have some sort of higher power.

“I am also a princess of my own domain”.

Pretentious people especially if they wear an authoritarian uniform or work in authoritarian institutions, act like they are something that they are not. At the end of the day regardless if one is Royalty, a Politician, The Police, or a Civil Servant working in a Local Council Offices, one is just an ordinary human being just like the rest of us. Yet people of statuses portray they are important and they somehow believe they have some sort of mystical power over you, although in reality they are either born entitled (Royalty) or work for an institution where they give out orders and somehow believe they are entitled and different. This does not make them special, they still do everything that the rest of us do, sleep, eat and survive.

In the fields of sociology and political science, authority is the legitimate power of a person or group over other people. In a civil state, authority is practiced in ways such as a judicial branch or an executive branch of government. In the exercise of governance, the terms authority and power are inaccurate synonyms.

Italian politician Maurizio Gasparri causes outrage tweeted that the English are “pretentious pricks” when Italy beat England in the 2014 World Cup. Pulitzer prize-winning novelist Anthony Doerr tells Michelle Dean that he “grew up were to call yourself a writer would be pretentious” Journalist Ruth Dudley Edwards informed her readers that her “prevailing thoughts about the writer Salman Rushdie” were that he is “self-important, pretentious, attention-seeking and ungrateful” (Daily Mail, 19 June 2007). On BBC 5 Live in 2009, Richard Bacon got to grips with a question that has vexed humanity for centuries: “Is wine over-rated and pretentious?”

Society segregates people into classes making people such as celebrities have the power of self-importance because people idolize them like Gods.

People in institutions such as banks, schools, police departments, council, and political offices think because they are employed they automatically have a superpower.

These people believe they are somehow more important than you just because they work for a governing institution when in reality, if that job was taken away from them they would be in the same boat as you and then become vulnerable.

Pretentious people prey on ordinary people’s insecurities and vulnerabilities. By acting superior making the other person submissive and anxious can cause a cascade of problems due to the consequences of the pretentious person’s actions.

People try to survive the best way they can and these institutions should not be judgemental yet they are portraying their self-importance even though they are no different to you.

I am feeling pretentiousness from some people working in one particular institution I have reached out to, that somehow think they are more important than me. I get the impression that I am insignificant and that I have to bow down to them. Furthermore, they have no regard for a person’s mental health state of mind. I feel I am divided into a social class because I have a disability and that I do not deserve to be treated with dignity”.

“I am a spiritual being in a physical body. Only God has the right to judge me and no one is better than me as I believe we should be all equal even though society has taught us that we are not”.

This is causing me to feel unwell and anxious (my OCD has flared up even more with my intrusive thoughts). I cannot concentrate properly and cannot focus on my work. I also deal with stupid people that do not read their emails properly and then ask for the same information multiple times, even though the information has been submitted yet they failed to read it the first time around. I can directly blame people for my emotional distress that makes me feel this way, for degrading the quality of my life. The consequences of people’s actions can cause a domino effect which can cause a person to feel worse than they already are”

It is axiomatic that pretentiousness shows no one in good light. Pretension is measured using prejudiced metrics. The pretentious person – naturally thinking themselves to be very important, believing they are in possession of an educated and discerning mind – believes that normal folk will be submissive to them.

Pretension sets the amateur against the professional in a game rigged by tradition, qualifications, and institutional approval. Decipher the word “pretentious” and outcomes an open can of worms, a bestiary of class anxieties; fears about getting above your station, and policing those suspected of trying to migrate from their social background. The word is broken down fits in with emotional attitudes towards economic and social inequality and is used as shorthand in arguments over authenticity, elitism, and populism. Pretentiousness is the brand of witchcraft used by scheming institutes of society to keep the great unwashed at bay.

Society tries to control people by arguing about rules, regulations, and right or wrong ways of doing things is one way to divide people into social classes. To accuse someone of being pretentiousness, of trying to stand out, affirms the fact that the accuser (you) fits in with everyone else. Because pretension is measured against the baseline “norm” of the accuser, there is an assumption that pretension always involves moving up the class ladder. Pretension is taken to be synonymous with snobbery.

Citations & Credits

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2016/feb/09/in-defence-of-pretentiousness

#pretentious, pretentiousness #selfimportance #snoberry

OCD Video’s Must Watch…

Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD)

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a neurological mental health anxiety disorder where a person may have irrational compulsive and often debilitating recurring thoughts and behaviors that they cannot control.

The main symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder are unpleasant thoughts and repetitive behaviors, which a person cannot control. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is usually treated with therapy and medication.

Different Types of OCD are:

  • Checking
  • Contamination / Mental Contamination
  • Symmetry and ordering
  • Ruminations / Intrusive Thoughts
  • Hoarding
  • Hair Pulling (Trichotillomania)
  • Self Harming
Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD)

MY OCD.

For me, I find it difficult to touch things other people have touched before me. I also do not like being touched by anyone, hugs, kisses, shaking hands, and patting on the shoulder back, arm, are all out of the question.

I cannot sit on a chair that someone else has sat on especially in public. I cannot touch door handles.

Since the pandemic, I have not left my home to go out to any public places.

If I have to touch the outer packaging of food for example I use disposable gloves. When I meet and greet couriers and delivery drivers it is with disposable gloves.

I cannot have anyone touch my personal possessions or contaminate the quarantined area of my home. I cannot bear to be touched”. I cannot stand people standing too close to me and with the Covid Regulations that is a blessing in disguise for me.

I am researching neuroplasticity and hypnosis as this has never been offered to me in the 38 years I have suffered from OCD.

I will use myself as the subject matter (patient). Obviously, my journey is a long one and what I learn will not be overnight but with what I learn I will share to help others like me.

My first experience of personal OCD was when my banker boyfriend’s parents who were middle-classed looked down on me because I came from a working-class and foreign eastern european background and his mother saying and I quote “you can find someone better than my son” when our relationship was breaking down. I remember his mother insisting I ate more and have second helpings in order to fatten me up for the slaughter.

I started to feel if I washed my hands and avoided certain things I could salvage my relationship with my boyfriend. I was afraid I was not pretty, clever, or rich enough for him and his family.

They judged me rather than supported me.

I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and when the relationship ended I started to avoid mentioning his name, this was another OCD trait avoiding certain words or numbers.

What was the icing on the cake which made me realize it was not me it was him was when he invited me over to his house, unaware he was engaged to be married and whilst his fiance was not around and all the engagement cards were on the mantlepiece and he tried to make a sexual move on me and with my head up high I asked him to call a taxi for me and I made sure he never saw me again.

I blame my ex and his family for the start of my OCD somewhat 38 years ago and how I was treated by them all. As life has progressed and more trauma has come into my life the worse my OCD has got to the stage thinking I will never be able to get rid of it…

“Hopefully whilst I do my experiment on myself through self-help therapy I will be able to write a new chapter, I know it will not be an overnight success and I will do it at my own pace without any pressure.”. All I will say is watch this space! I will keep you posted in my online journal.

Below are some thought-provoking videos which I thought maybe useful to someone.

Starving The Monster | Tauscha Johanson | TEDxIdahoFalls
My OCD diary — an imperfect story: Julia Britz at TEDxUNLV
Living With #OCD | Samantha Pena | TEDxYouth@TCS
Debunking the myths of OCD – Natascha M. Santos
Uncovering OCD: The Truth About Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
Howie Mandel on Battling Severe Anxiety and OCD: “I’m Living in a Nightmare” | PEOPLE
What are Intrusive Thoughts? [& When They Signal Pure O OCD]
OCD and Anxiety Disorders: Crash Course Psychology #29
The Politician and his Son – A Story of OCD in 60 seconds by Rt Hon Norman Lamb MP (and Archie Lamb)

FURTHER READING.

Useful Links

What is Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

What is Anxiety

What is Stress

What is Depression

Suicide Healthline

SAMARITANS.org

OCDUK.org

MIND.org.uk

YoungMinds.org.uk

#ocdmonster #starvethemonster

Famous People With OCD.

Famous People With OCD

What is OCD.

OCD or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a mental health illness whereby the sufferer may have recurring intrusive thoughts and repetitive ritual behaviors that they cannot control.

The main symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder are intrusive thoughts and unnatural repetitive behaviors, which the sufferer finds debilitating. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is usually treated with CBT or Hypnotherapy. Prescribed Medication also may help to relieve some of the symptoms especially if the symptoms are severe.

LIST OF FAMOUS PEOPLE WITH OCD

Leonardo DiCaprio

Leonardo DiCaprio suffers from OCD and says that he allowed his condition to worsen in order to play Howard Hughes in “Aviator.”

His childhood memoriess were to step on cracks in the pavement and if he missed any he would have start all over again,

even as far as a few blocks.

Jessica Alba

“Sin City” star Jessica Alba talked about her OCD in an interview with CosmoGirl stating,

“It was like a panic come over me and I had to do something, and once I did it, I was OK. …

It was really me needing to control something.”

Justin Timberlake

Justin Timberlake suffers from OCD that makes him need everything to be organized perfectly. 

He also only allows certain foods in his refrigerator.

Katy Perry

Pop star Katy Perry suffers from OCD and says that she brushes her teeth 4-6 times a day.

Howie Mandel

Howie Mandel has been very open about his OCD.  He calls handrails his enemy.

Cameron Diaz

Cameron Diaz’s OCD makes her have a fear of germs.

David Beckham

Soccer great David Beckham has admitted to struggling with OCD saying that he has to reorganize hotel rooms in order to feel comfortable.

Charlize Theron

“Young Adult” star Charlize Theron says that her OCD keeps her up at nights worrying about messy cabinets and closets.

Albert Einstein

Historians believe that Albert Einstein suffered from OCD, as do many individuals with very high levels of intelligence.

Penélope Cruz

“Vanilla Sky” actress Penelope Cruz is said to suffer from OCD.

Charlie Sheen

Charlie Sheen has OCD and needs things to be in order.  He told Dr. Oz that his OCD even propelled him to fix a strangers shirt collar at a restaurant.

Jennifer Love Hewitt

“Client List” star Jennifer Love Hewitt thinks the she inherited her OCD from her mother.

Alec Baldwin

Alec Baldwin self diagnosed his OCD.  Baldwin spoke of the frustrating nature of his condition stating,

“The thing is, you always feel the need to do it, mostly when there’s something at stake. Like,

I will literally be leaving my apartment in New York and I’ve got to go to the airport.

The worst possible time is when the bell rings loudest. A voice will say to me, ‘Move the snowglobe to the right three inches.”

Michael Jackson

Michael Jackson had Body Dismorphic Disorder which is similar to OCD.

Rose McGowan

“Planet Terror” star Rose McGowan suffers from OCD related to agoraphobia.

Harrison Ford

“Star Wars” star Harrison Ford says that his OCD is related to his fear of spiders and reptiles.

Donald Trump

Donald Trump says that his OCD prevents him from shaking hands with people.

(Which is Fake News in my opinion as I have seen him shake hands).

Martin Scorsese

Director Martin Scorsese suffers from OCD and he explored the depths of the condition in his film “The Aviator.”

Roseanne Barr

Roseanne Barr has struggled with OCD and she talked about her experience with Larry King.

Howard Stern

Howard Stern’s OCD developed as a defense mechanism when he was first starting out. 

Stern stated, “When I was in college and nervous about entering the world of broadcasting and earning a living, the pressure was enormous. …

As a defense mechanism, my brain had set up an elaborate maze of rituals that kept me from confronting my fear.”

Woody Allen

Film maker Woody Allen has OCD and the main subject that he obsesses about is death.

Nikola Tesla

Historians believe that Nikola Tesla suffered from OCD in his later years.

Fiona Apple

Fiona Apple suffers from OCD and she calls it a problem that can destroy your life.

Dan Aykroyd

“Blues Brothers” star Dan Aykroyd suffers from Tourettes, Aspergers and OCD.

Charles Darwin

Researches believe that Charles Darwin most likely suffered from OCD.

Stanley Kubrick

“A Clockwork Orange” director Stanley Kubrick is thought to have had OCD because of the way that he would shoot an excessive amount of takes when filming his movies.

Kathie Lee Gifford

Talk show host Kathie Lee Gifford is thought to have OCD.

Billy Bob Thornton

“Sling Blade” star Billy Bob Thornton calls suffering from OCD exhausting.

Marc Summers

TV show host Marc Summers suffers with OCD.  Who knows how Summers managed to deal with all of the slimy messes on his Nickelodeon show “Double Dare.”

Cole Porter

People speculate that composer Cole Porter most likely suffered from OCD.

Michelangelo

Historians believe that Michelangelo suffered from OCD.

Ludwig van Beethoven

Researchers believe that Ludwig van Beethoven displayed many symptoms of OCD.

Howard Hughes

Entrepreneur and film maker Howard Hughes suffered for OCD and used to obsess over the size of peas. 

Later in his life, Hughes became a recluse and continuously watched movies.

Samuel Johnson

Historians believe that Samuel Johnson likely suffered from OCD.

Stonewall Jackson

Researchers find that Stonewall Jackson demonstrated many of the symptoms of OCD.

Jeremy Kyle

Talk show host Jeremy Kyle suffers from OCD.

Warren Zevon

“Werewolves of London” songwriter Warren Zevon suffered from OCD. 

He developed a friendship with fellow OCD sufferer Billy Bob Thorton later in his life.

Charles Dickens

Historians believe that “A Christmas Carol” author Charles Dickens likely suffered from OCD.

Marcel Proust

Historians believe that Marcel Proust suffered from OCD.

Fred Durst

Limp Biscuit front man Fred Durst says that suffering from OCD makes touring really tough.

Gerald Kaufman

Gerald Kaufman has self-diagnosed his OCD.

Joey Ramone

Joey Ramone had a severe case of OCD and low self-esteem.

John Melendez

John Melendez, better known as “Stuttering John,” suffers from OCD, just like his good friend and boss Howard Stern.

Natalie Appleton

Pop singer Natalie Appleton suffers from a mild case of OCD.

Jane Horrocks

British actress/musician Jane Horrocks has been diagnosed with OCD.

Steven Gerrard

Soccer star Steven Gerrard’s OCD manifests itself as constant hand washing.

Emily Lloyd

British actress Emily Lloyd has gotten treatment for OCD and she blames the disorder for stalling her career.

Paul Gascoigne

Soccer star Paul Gascoigne suffers from OCD as well as other mental illnesses.

Tim Howard

Soccer player Tim Howard had a tough time in school coping with his OCD.

Ian Puleston-Davies

Actor Ian Puleston-Davies has OCD and a fear of germs.

Jim Eisenreich

Baseball player Jim Eisenreich was diagnosed with Tourettes and OCD.

Volkert van der Graaf

Murderer Volkert van der Graaf has been diagnosed with OCD and Aspergers.

https://www.healthcentral.com/slideshow/famous-people-who-have-OCD

#ocd #obsessivecomplsivedisorder #triggers #intrusivethoughts

Self Help & Self Hypnosis

Neuroplasticity

SELF HELP & SELF HYPNOSIS

I am a strong believer in never knock it until you have tried it, meaning see if it works before making assumptions or criticizing, and if the CIA (Gateway Process or Project Stargate) has been doing it for over 20 years there has to be something in it. Accessing your subconscious mind and re-wiring your thoughts can benefit our lives, especially if we get stuck with repetitive thoughts that we cannot shift.

I wish in the 30 years I have suffered from OCD, depression, anxiety, stress, and PTSD that my GPs which I have had a few, could have suggested hypnosis.

It is not for me to tell them to do their jobs but no one ever suggested it and like a good little soldier I went on my merry way without questioning it or bringing it up in conversation. It was only by chance I came across some videos through social media did I really start thinking about a way to help myself. If I can find a way of not being dependant on prescribed drugs for the rest of my life, then I obviously have to give it a go.

I think as I am getting older I am getting a little wiser and have decided to explore neuroplasticity and brain training.

I have just started the art of self-hypnosis and have found a braining training motivational speaker ‘Jake Ducey’ as well as the Monroe Institute. I have subscribed to Jakes’s Facebook videos and am on his mailing list. I have found the information he gives is valuable, which I am now implementing into my own life.

For years I have been programmed to think that I was not good enough, that I was a failure, I would not amount to much or have nice things. I was criticized, judged, humiliated, and belittled. I started believing everything anyone said to me.

The emphasis of this multiplied when I got involved with a narcissist that created negative energy and made my life toxic. I knew things had to change and I feel like the world has lifted off my shoulders since he has been gone.

The day I flipped the switch and said enough is enough was the day I started to think differently. Every time anyone would say something derogatory I would have an out-of-body experience. If they were directing their opinions and their judgments at my body, I immediately became numb with a hardened exterior and my body has always felt as it is a vessel and it is protecting what is my inner soul. I felt like they could do what they wanted to my body but they would never get to my soul (sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me).

Everyone is entitled to their opinion but their opinion is not my belief. They could think what they wanted about me, it was now water off a duck’s back and not significant to me. I have always thought treat people like you would wish to be treated.

I started standing up to my fears and thought “what was the best that can happen to me”, rather than my worst? I turned my negative thoughts into good thoughts and started thinking differently. I started making goals.

Where just over a decade ago I had no direction in the last few years I have started to focus. I have set goals and I know what I want but never found a way to manifest what I wanted until now.

I am paving a path. People’s perceptions and opinions of me no longer matter, I am now in control.

In my lifetime I have come across, some very cruel, rude monstrous people that have had this self-opinionated, self-entitled persona about them that they think they are better than you. I have had people with sarcastic, patronizing, opinionated attitudes try and tell me what to do or who have looked down at me and I now rise above it all, as it is only their opinion and who are they at the end of the day?

I have learned if someone is trying to hurt you, end the conversation and block them. I do not play fire with fire, if someone has an evil tongue, I bite mine. Remember silence speaks a thousand words and the universe will pay them back.

Obviously, I have a long way to go to heal as this is only the start of my journey.

Self-help therapy.

I have now started to delve into brain training and mind control (Neuroplasticity) and will publish my progress over the next few months. I will start a 30-day social experiment on myself starting today 30/05/21 where I will use self-hypnosis and the eye roll technique as well as listening to “Jakes audio” and will document my findings on a daily basis which I will publish at the end of next month.

My goal is to try and stabilize my OCD, my depression, my stress, my anxiety, and my PTSD. Because of all the grief, I have endured over the years, I need to brainwash the mind of my memories. I also want to change my ultimate thinking process to manifest what I want.

Apparantly you need to practice the eye roll technique as in the pdf below:

self-hypnosis-instruction-sheet-eye-roll

Once you have mastered the eye roll technique you should find a quiet space to meditate and play the following audio:

You should also watch some of “Jake Ducey’s” motivational videos, which I have added open below , especially if you are going through a difficult period in your life and you are surrounded by negative or toxic people. You too also need to retrain your brain and your thought process and try these relaxation and thought-provoking techniques.

Do check out “Jake Ducey’s” website and start re-training your brain. Jake has been featured on FOX, TEDx, Entrepreneur, HuffPost, and INC, and Penguin Random House. He is a force to be reckoned with: https://jakeducey.com/

” IAM A POWERFUL CREATOR, I AM POWERFUL BEING MY THOUGHTS CREATE REALITY”
How To NEVER Get Angry or Upset AGAIN
3 Ways to MANIFEST WHILE SLEEPING & Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind
Shocking Law of Attraction SLEEP TECHNIQUE For Attracting What You Want
SAY THIS TO MANIFEST ANYTHING YOU WANT FAST
SAY THIS BLESSING TO MANIFEST ANYTHING
MONEY SPELL CHANT TO MANIFEST MORE MONEY NOW
The LAW of ATTRACTION and What NOBODY Tells You. VERY POWERFUL!!!
Bob Proctor: The Law of Attraction And What Nobody Tells You!! (Must Watch!)

Believe it or not, The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and the United States Government have been using mind control and the laws of attraction for years.

The CIA technique dubbed the Gateway Experience was essentially described as a training system to bring enhanced strength, focus, and coherence to the amplitude and frequency of brainwave outputs patterns, according to the CIA report, ranged from converting energy to heal one’s body to traveling across space and time to learn and access new information. The CIA approved testing for this under the eyes of US Army Lieutenant Colonel Wayne M McDonnell. The project was classified by the CIA until 2003. McDonnell was commissioned to work on the Gateway Experience in the 1980s at a time in US history when the nation was taking a deep interest in different varieties of psychic research.

Project MKUltra (or MK-Ultra) is the code name given to a program of experiments on human subjects that were designed and undertaken by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), some of which were illegal. Experiments on humans were intended to develop procedures and identify drugs such as LSD to be used in interrogations in order to weaken the individual and force confessions through brainwashing and psychological torture. The project was organized through the Office of Scientific Intelligence of the CIA and coordinated with the United States Army Biological Warfare Laboratories. Other code names for drug-related experiments were Project Bluebird and Project Artichoke.

Investigative efforts were halted by CIA Director Richard Helms’s who ordered that all MKUltra files be destroyed in 1973; the Church Committee and Rockefeller Commission investigations relied on the sworn testimony of direct participants and on the relatively small number of documents that survived Helms’s destruction order. In 1977, a Freedom of Information Act requests uncovered a cache of 20,000 documents relating to project MKUltra which led to Senate hearings later that year.

Some surviving information regarding MKUltra was declassified in July 2001. In December 2018, declassified documents included a letter to an unidentified doctor discussing work on six dogs made to run, turn and stop via remote control and brain implants.

The above document “Analysis and Assessment of Gateway Process”, that also Jake refers to is downloadable, it is available through the following link below: https://jakeducey.com/CIA/

This makes me believe there is a way to manipulate one’s mind using hypnosis and Neuroplasticity tDCs.

Alternatively, if you cannot download the document for some reason, then drop us a line.

Further Reading:

According to the Hebbian theory (Hebbs Law) is a neuroscientific theory claiming that an increase in synaptic efficacy arises from a presynaptic cell’s repeated and persistent stimulation of a postsynaptic cell. It is an attempt to explain synaptic plasticity, the adaptation of brain neurons during the learning process. It was introduced by Donald Hebb in his 1949 book The Organization of Behavior. The theory is also called Hebb’s rule, Hebb’s postulate, and cell assembly theory. Hebb states it as follows:

Let us just think that the persistence or repetition of a reverberatory activity (or “trace”) tends to induce lasting cellular changes that add to its stability. … When an axon of cell A is near enough to excite a cell B and repea cells firing B, is increased.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebbian_theory

Citations:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Project_MKUltra

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hebbian_theory

https://www.indiatimes.com/technology/science-and-future/cia-secret-program-gateway-experience-534724.html

#neuroplasticity #hypnosis #selfhypnosis #gatewayprogram #tdcs #braintraining #brainrewiring #subconscious #subconsciousmind

Rewiring Our Brains -tDCS

Rewiring Our Brains -tDCS.

New technology has found our brains continue to rewire themselves and never stops changing as we age. The term neuroplasticity can now make it possible to repair our damaged brains.

We have 86 Billion Neurons & Nerve Cells in our Brains, so we need to be able to control how we use them.

Imagine stimulating the brain to stop us feeling physical and mental pain or help us our bodily functions due to some sort of brain damage which has caused us to become physically disabled.

Imagine having mental health or neurological problem such as OCD and having the possibility to re-wire the circuits to stop you from having intrusive thoughts, anxiety, stress, depression, and PTSD, or physical disabilities.

Imagine being able to fix the issues and go back to running a normal life.

Believe it or not, is no longer science fiction it is real and it can be done through wearable non-evasive (TDCS) Transcranial direct current stimulation. What this means is the brain gets painless low intensity direct electrical currents stimulation treatment. A constant current flow is passed through two electrodes placed over the head which modulates neuronal activity.

CEOs are starting to use the technology to supercharge their brains to be able to memorize things better and to fine-tune their knowledge. As with all trending technology many high-flying executives are jumping at the chance of grabbing these devices. At the SHA Wellness Clinic on the southern coast of Spain, business leaders and high-powered diplomats take the opportunity to unwind and relax with healthy food, spa treatments, and brain zapping. “They’re decision-makers and people who have very stressful lives and are aware that they need to reset themselves,” says SHA vice president Alejandro Bataller. “They come to learn more about themselves so they can enjoy optimal vitality and brain activity, and therefore productivity.”

Obviously, as with anything hi-tech, there are concerns about the effectiveness of tDCS, with fears that in the wrong hand, people could do themselves long-term damage with unlicensed or homemade devices. According to Vincent Walsh, a cognitive neuroscientist at University College London stated that “The field, in general, is plagued by low-quality research and publication bias,” Experiments have had small numbers and poor controls that don’t do a good job of eliminating placebo effects. “When we look at tDCS, people have jumped the gun, they have made claims to sell these things to people that are not based on the literature”.

It is debatable if sending electrical currents to the neurons in the brain, makes them more or less likely to fire and creating the desired effects.

Editors Notes.

If I had the opportunity to have the treatment with a safe no-evasive wearable device, I would certainly give it a try”.

My OCD consumes my life and if I thought that using this device could help with OCD, Depression, Anxiety & PTSD I would jump at the chance to give it a go, obviously, I would wait until after all clinical trials were completed and approved by the MHRA and FDA”.

I have watched some videos which I will add at the end, which I hope will give you a better understanding of the possibilities to help with mental health being and physical disabilities.

However ‘Vincent Walsh’ is concerned about the biased published data not actually showing the negative outcome if any from this treatment. He is worried that only positive results are being published.

In 2014, psychologist Nick Davis at the University of Swansea published a paper calling for “extreme caution” in using tDCS and highlighting a number of problems, including a lack of knowledge about long-term side-effects, a lack of clear dosing guidelines, and a dearth of research about how tDCS might impact children.

Editors Notes.

Obviously, I am all for trying something new and there is already a range of devices one can purchase, but I am personally concerned how effective they are considering how much money you initially need to buy of these things and what adverse reactions can come from using these things”.

Before searching the internet I will throw caution in the wind as some devices may be available to buy but may pose a risk to your health especially if they have not been clinically proven and do not have the CE stamp which would mean they do not have a license.

The trending high tech medical device on the market is the Flow Neuroscience headset made by a Swedish Company, which was launched last year and has CE approval in the EU and in the UK which means it can be sold as a medical device for the treatment of depression and is being sold in the UK and Sweden. The device is attached to two points on the forehead.

The co-founder Daniel Mansson, a clinical psychologist believes that other devices on the market cannot treat depression.

Flow aims to provide a pharmaceutical-free treatment for long-term depression, which is, in some cases, associated with lower neural activity in the left frontal lobe. The company secured a £1.2m investment from private equity firm Khosla Ventures to fund clinical studies and support a rollout in the UK and EU.

A note on the Flow website warns that it should only be used by people with a medical diagnosis of depression, but no prescription is required to purchase the hefty price tag of £399 per headset. There is no guarantee that it will work 100% for everyone, which would make me think twice before buying it.

The EU has a new regulation that came into force in May 2020 which will ban the sale of wearable devices that haven’t gone through the CE marking process.

However, Vincent Walsh argues that although devices being CE approved does not prove that the product isn’t dangerous, it’s not equivalent to NICE or FDA approval.

‘Vincent Walsh’ accuses ‘Flow Neuroscience’ the company of being biased and cherry-picking from the publication to show only the positive side of the product is effective at treating depression, ignoring more measured and negative randomized control trials and meta-analyses, as well as “individual differences, treatment resistance and depth of depression”.

Would I try it if it was available on the NHS or if the company sent it to me to try and review, possibly, but I would want to know all the adverse effects and see other peoples experiences and make sure that putting a contraption on my head would not fry my brain? I think I would have to wait until it was FDA approved before trying it out.

Flow is working towards FDA approval in the US and is starting talks with the NHS to make the headset available on prescription.

This will not stop perfectly healthy people from being attracted to the brain zapping device.

FURTHER READING

https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/scientists-demonstrate-direct-brain-to-brain-communication-in-humans/

https://www.wired.co.uk/article/brain-stimulation-wellness-tdcs

https://bmcpsychiatry.biomedcentral.com/articles/10.1186/s12888-020-02979-1

https://theconversation.com/brain-scans-reveal-why-it-is-so-difficult-to-recover-from-ocd-and-hint-at-ways-forward-74092

https://www.bbc.com/reel/video/p098v92g/neuroplasticity-how-to-rewire-your-brain

https://www.newscientist.com/article/2221743-europes-first-home-brain-zap-device-for-depression-launched-in-uk/

https://www.nhs.uk/apps-library/nhs-app/

VIDEOS

The Tech Helping To Treat Depression
TDCS Neuro Cognitive Enhancement.
The Woman Who Changed Her Brain: Barbara Arrowsmith-Young at TEDxToronto
Dr. Norman Doidge | The Power of Thought

I know technology is evolving fast with Elon Musk and Brain to Brain telepathy and mind control called Neuralink

Neuralink
Neuralink Monkey MindPong
Neuralink Snout Boops
Working on the Neuralink Robot

Final Thoughts From The Editor

There are other ways of retraining your brain without a drastic measure of sending electrical currents to your brain or drilling holes.

Would I try the Neuralink if it was offered to me, well for the right price with certain conditions that I was able to secure my daughter’s future should something bad happen to me, then maybe I would consider it. If it meant that I would be helping other people with mental health and neurological conditions like myself then at least I would be remembered for that.

Non-evasive therapy.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a form of treatment for people with mental health disorders. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a psycho-social intervention that helps to improve mental health. CBT focuses on challenging tasks and changing cognitive distortions and behaviors, improving emotional regulation, and developing personal coping strategies that target solving current problems.

From what I have learned over the years your mind has to be in the right place you must be at peace with yourself and your demons”.

For years I have struggled with mental health issues mostly as a direct consequence of grief. I have tried cognitive behavioral therapy and found it to be non-effective. I also had a therapist but found talking about remembering things I wanted to forget, not effective either.

I never tried hypnosis and have been curious about its effectiveness. I have seen how patients terrified of flying or spiders were cured using this technique, however, I believe I have fallen between the gaps for the NHS to help me.

In fact, I sent a very private and confidential letter to my GP today and had an autoresponder message to redirect my inquiry to the practice manager.

What happened to data protection and privacy?

I find medication helps to a certain degree, especially with my sleeping, and does keep me from staying calm most of the time, keeping myself busy is also a factor in managing my disability. My mind is always active and I never run out of ideas of doing something new and I can never say I am bored.

Here Are Some Steps to Retrain Your Brain.

  1. Accept your thoughts and obstacles. Admit to yourself what is troubling you, face your fears.
  2. Make a plan for how you will tackle the obstacles and turn your negative thoughts into positives ones.
  3. Organize your day, keep a planner or diary/journal of things to do.
  4. Admit to yourself what triggers you.
  5. Set a plan to move forward, write done what you want to achieve and set goals, create a personal mantra.
  6. Be thankful for what you have got and be kind to people. Practice daily gratitude.
  7. Help other people, helping others by empowering and motivation will make you a leader. Pay it back.
  8. Find mentors or read books on successful people and network with people that inspire you.
  9. Create a Dream board and visualize what you want from life, practice the law of attraction.
  10. Meditate.
  11. Exercise.
  12. Eat Healthily (your body is your temple, treat it with respect).
  13. Keep yourself busy.
  14. Do crosswords and puzzles.
  15. Write down your thoughts, this could be a diary or online journal.
  16. Write a book.
  17. Start a business.
  18. Appreciate your surroundings and Nature.
  19. Be creative, build lego or Airfix models, try art painting with watercolor, oils, and acrylics.
  20. Make a sculpture.
  21. Invent something.
  22. Code Computer Games.
  23. Learn a Language.
  24. Learn a New Skill.
  25. Get a qualification. It is never too late to learn.
  26. Train as an athlete.
  27. Become a Coach and do public speaking.
  28. Make a legacy so that people can remember you.
  29. Brain train by reading books.
  30. Brain train by playing video games, app games, or play chess.

#tdcs #neurolink #flowneuroscience #neuroscience #neuroplasticity #cognitivebehaviouraltherapy #braintraining #braintobrain #elonmusk #ocd #depression #stress #anxiety #mentalhealth #neurologicaldisorders #disabilities #mentaldisabilities #physicaldisabilities

Coping With Mental Health As An Entrepreneur

I have not been on this site for a while now as I have been working mainly on my other sites www.ukwebsitedesigners.co.uk and https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/#home I have forwarded the domain name www.cymrumarketing.co.uk to this sub domain but it does not always work with Norton or Firewalls for some reason.

I have also updated the Disclaimer Page & added a Networking Page under the heading Legal Pages, this is to let viewers know that the owner of this site uses a SEO Link Wheels to generate traffic and that all the Websites and Blogs are all under one umbrella belonging to Renata M Barnes (UK Website Designers) You will see the credit in the footer of all the websites I own and also manage for other clients.

Moving on I have also started to intergrate video marketing into my services. This is a useful tool to attract business and I am now offering it to my clients. You can view a the portfolio of Videos here.

As for my health it is starting to deteriorate as the pressures and daily stresses of life can sometimes be overwhelming. I am fighting hard for it not to beat me but when my own health professionals are working against me rather than for me it can be too much to bear…….I will explain.

Not only am I disabled I also have a disabled daughter that I am officially a carer for, so when I see red flags I tend to question things as in the case of my GP who threatens you if you make waves. Read the latest on this Surgery that has brought me to breaking point: https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/category/bayer-pharmaceutical/ All I was doing was voicing my concerns as my daughter is classed as a vulnerable person and I was told I lack respect to the highly qualified pharmacist and clinician at the surgery and was told that seeing there is a breakdown of doctor/patient relationship it would be in my best interest to find another surgery.

I am really struggling with my health and have developed social disconnection disorder and have a fear of venturing out. The less face to face human interaction I have, the happier I feel”. I have been hurt too many times to care to mention and the people I trusted the most betrayed me. In my lifetime I have experienced discrimination, racial attacks, have been abused physically and mentally and have been physically assaulted, disrespected, undermined, critised, judged, belittled, robbed, have felt sadness, dispair and dealt with grief. All these things are contributing factors to my mental disability, which has been caused by other people and entities. There is no denying my mental health is due to a domino effect caused by direct consequences to other peoples actions.

My Richter Mental Health Scale.

It is because of certain individuals and certain events that I am this way. I am 58 yrs old and have met my fair share of people over the years and I can count on my one hand how many people I can trust. I can also name each and every single person and entity responsible for my ill health and the reasons why.

Some cope by turning to drinking alcohol or taking recreational drugs. People smoke cigarettes claiming it calms their nerves, I do not smoke cigarettes, do not drink alcohol or take recreational drugs but depend on the prescription medication that are prescribed for me. Everyone has different ways with coping with stress, trauma and life events, mine is documenting everything (therapeutic) and adapting around my disabilities aswell as trying to help others.

Anaphylaxis Allergy.

I also cancelled my Covid-19 Vaccine appointment as I have a severe anaphylaxis allergy to PEG where I was vaccinated with steriod in the past which had polythylene glycol in fact over the years I have had many anaphlaxis allergies including severe breathing difficulties from penicillin and severe skin allergy where my face looked reptilian and I was in excrutiating pain, all of which is on my medical records. https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2021/03/19/polyethylene-glycol-peg-allergy-as-a-cause-of-anaphylaxis/ I am not prepared to take any risks with my life or become more ill than I already am. At least with my OCD, Depression I can manage my life to a certain degree and can work around my disabilities. But being off work fully is inconceivable and is something I cannot do as I have obligations to my clients.

I have to be online every single day, imagine being too ill to work what would happen to your business if you had no one to help you? Your clients are not going to say “ok call us when you feel better”, the food chain still has to carry on. I have heard the second vaccine is worse the the first but I am waiting on herd immunity to kick in as I do not plan venturing out any time soon.

I would not describe myself as a hypochondriac as all my disabilities are medically documented. I try not to think about illnesses unless it is affecting me directly and at any given time. I try to actually block out my disabilities and try to live a relatively normal life to a certain degree (although there is nothing normal about me). The world on the internet is not going to know about my disabilities unless they bother to do some research about me, so me sitting in front of a computer screen I am as normal as the next person.

I cannot be critised for having no empathy. I will help people in need but will never make it personal. If someone needs me to lend them my ear or a shoulder I will try and help.

To be frank I have coped better than most during the Covid-19 Lockdown. My business has improved as people have turned to the internet for a second income stream. Where I had issues about people bumping into you and not looking where they where going in the past, it is as if the heavens have opened up and had everyone stay 2 metres apart (not that I go out anywhere though).

Wearing disposable latex gloves is no longer questionable and I do not feel the odd one out anymore.

I do miss going out once a month with my daughter when she and I used to go up to the hospital for her to have her monthly blood done and then we would go to a restaurant in the city centre. I won’t say I will never go again as they say “never say never”, but it is going to take me a long time to adjust to the new surroundings and facing people at the moment is really causing me distress. I am fine with the grocery and courier drivers but that is as far as I am willing to interact physically with other people other than my family.

“I do have a goal and that is to make enough money for me to retire comfortably and for my daughter to have a head start in life. My priority is my family and my business and nothing else”.

I won’t let this general practice surgery beat me. I have a long list of people I can complain to.

Coping With Mental Health in General.

  1. Take time out to have some TLC. Do something that will make you happy and relaxed. Try to occupy you mond with something else other than what is worrying you.
  2. If you work for a company see if they have an HR department that deals with mental health. If not suggest that they do have a department and volunteer to be a spokesperson, you will no longer be seen as a follower and more so as a leader. Every business no matter how big or small should have some sort of department to air your worries and anxieties and perhaps meet up once a week to just chat. However if you find that there is no such option and you have had no alternative to tell your employer, he/she has a responsibility under Equalities Act to be obliging and to accommodate you and your condition if it is considered a long term affliction. You may not be the only one that is suffering so considering starting a club even after work can make all the difference.
  3. Stay focused it is easy to just to clock watch until the hour hand hits 5 o’clock but that does not help you or your employer hence you need to set goals and try to make some progress on a daily basis. You should concentrate on the work in hand but at the same time consider starting a second income stream and do research and learn. Reading helps people to stay motivated and empowers them to learn a new skill. This skill could help your employer or can help you to break away and go it alone.
  4. Do not over critisie yourself, if things are not going your way, tomorrow is another day. Accepting the fact that we all experience good days and bad days is just a way of life and we need to learn to overcome obstacles that come our way. For me venting my anxiety, anger and frustration online is therapeutical. I know some one will read it and will relate. I also think that what I write could actually help someone other than myself.
  5. The impact of problems such as depression and anxiety are unique and individual to each and every one of us and how we cope with them and different situations of life is equally as individual. Above I have merely mentioned some advice on dealing with issues of mental health in the workplace, but speaking to your GP and building a network of support are arguably the most important steps you can take in your recovery. For me I personally will not be relating my anxieties any time soon to my GP if I still have one, as it is practice management that you tell the reception first what is wrong with you, what ever happend to GDPR and not sharing the information with anyone other than your doctor. According to an inspection report that I downloaded on another post I made https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2021/03/30/gp-surgeries-are-small-businesses/ the receptionists have to sign a non disclosure agreement. This is hog wash if they wish to talk about you without actually mentioning you name.

Super Power.

Disabled Entrepreneur Super Power!

Just because I have a mental health disability does not make me less of a person. My disability does not define me and make me less intelligent, in fact on the contrary my disability is my ‘Super Power’ and although it comes with challenges it gives me strength and purpose to carry on and help motivate and empower others that having a disability is not the end of the world and you can still achieve your aspirations and all you need is a gentle push. Never let some tell you it cannot be done or it is impossible for you to achieve, listen to your heart and not what others tell you. Do not listen to naysayers.

My Super Power is everytime anyone disrespects me, tries to undermined me or do other atrocities I will write about them. Anyone throwing obstactles in my way, making my life difficult or miserable, I will document. Everytime anyone tries to do anything to hurt me I will hit the keyboard. The same goes if I see anyone being treated unfairly, the perpetrator will feel my Super Power.

Whats your super power? Mine is exercising my journalist skills!

Reaching Out.

If you want to talk to just drop me a line, I am happy to chat to you online or send emails. Although I do not do face to face meetings I am happy to help anyone who is feeling distressed. Just because I have difficulty interacting physically does not mean I have a problem interacting virtually. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved. If you have a network of people you can rely on then that is fine, but if you don’t there are many organisation out there that can help and I also can lend an ear or shoulder to cry on or send virtual hugs.

Coping With Life When You Are Disabled.

Copying With life When You Are Disabled.

I have this methology “if life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. I am not the type of person to whinge and moan, I just make the most of what I have and try to get on with it.

I always keep myself busy and set goals. However my physical and mental disabilities are obstacles that daily I have to get round.

My OCD is by far one of my prominent disabilities and have designed a quarantined cocoon area where only I have access to. This area allows me to be free of any anxieties that I would have in the normal environment. I have adopted this practice to save cleaning my whole home from top to bottom day in and day out. Believe me I used to clean from top to bottom every single day until I realised I was wasting valuable time doing something else.

Keeping myself busy does help to block out intrusive thoughts to a certain degree. I am the worlds worse for critising myself. I try to brain train to reason with myself that what I do is ridiculous and out of character to normal people, but it all is related to stress, anxiety and depression. Depending how stress I am under will depend how well my day will be. If I am super stressed, I find that I cannot concentrate and even do minuscule tasks.

My OCD is germ contamination related and I am even more conscious of my surrounding and the things that I touch. I dislike people visting me and visa versa. I prefer not to go out, hence I am not going out any time soon pandemic regulations or not.

I actually wrote an article on my other blog about germ awareness and cross contamination: https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2021/02/16/saliva-and-mail-cross-contamination-of-germs/

As for my other disabilities:

  • Cerebellar Atrophy (I lose my balance or grip and muddle my words up especially when I write, I also have mental blocks).
  • OCD (I am aware of germ cross contimination and and am careful what I touch).
  • Social Disconnection (I prefer my own company and not go out and socialise, although we can’t anyway but you get my drift).
  • PTSD (I have flashbacks of the physical and mental trauma I endured in the past and certain things trigger my depression).
  • Clinical Depression (This is related to past physical and mental trauma I endured, in which there are days where I go to a dark place).
  • Rheumatoid Arthritis (I cannot bend my knee, again from past physical trauma/abuse).
  • Dysphagia (I sometimes choke of food, I get a painful feeling followed by trouble swallowing and breathing and only when the food is dislodged does the feeling subside, gross I know but what can I do? I have been told I could have surgery but there is no gauarantee that it would work. I am not going to go under the knife for anything, I can tell you that for sure).
  • Epidural Analgesia (Chronic Back Pain, even bending down to feed the cat makes my back spasm, the same goes if I am standing for excessive length of time I have shooting pains from the small of my back to the nape of my neck. Simple taskes like taking out the rubbish or bringing in the grocery shopping has brought tears to my eyes in the past).

So yes I have good days and bad days but I do not dwell on my ailments and try to live the best way I can. I adapt to around my disabilities. Fortuantely for me I offer digital services so I can do 100% of my work online and do not have to venture out.

Stress and worry are contributing factors to my OCD, PTSD, Depression and Social Disconnection.

  • Getting headaches (I have regular headaches)
  • Having stomach cramps (I have a bad stomach most days, but that can be from drinking energy drinks to keep me awake).
  • Not being able to sleep (I find my medication helps me sleep but it takes a few hours for me to wind down, hence I watch a film or play a game, I also read books from time to time).
  • Feeling pains in your chest (I do not get them often but when I do it is scary as I have also experienced jaw ache and shooting pain down my left arm in the past). I have had an ecg scan done and the doctor said there was nothing wrong, yet the same doctor also prescribed antacid ‘Gaviscon’ to my daughter even though she was later diagnosed with MS after I admitted her into A&E.
  • Having constant worring (If I do not keep myself busy I do worry hence I try to keep my mind occupied all the time). Worrying only makes your health deteriorate and although life struggles can get in the way of your happiness, one needs to find a way to tackle the problem we are faced with, rather than sweep them under the carpet. Confronting your inner demons makes you stronger. Sometimes simply writing down your problems is the first step to dealing with whatever is on your mind. Talking to a friend or family member also helps but for me expessing my emotions in the form of a blog is theraputic in itself.
  • Having panic attacks (I only get these if I have to meet negative people). People that judge or critise, you know the people I am talking about or if I have a deadline in work or something that I have seen or heard that has triggered the onset of sheer panic. However for most part I am organised and know to how to avoid trigger warnings, so panic attacks are subdued.
  • Feeling shortness of breath, (I only get this if I cannot swallow due to my Dysphagia or at times when I have in the past been in distress, due to the trauma and abuse I endured).
  • Having mood swings with friends or family (I avoid socialising so no one knows my moods and no one can be on the tail end if I do have a bad day).
  • Finding it hard to feel happy (Continuously reassuring myself and staying positive that what I am doing will eventually change my life for the better, is enough to motivate me to get up and tackle every day tasks).

Although I was going to do a daily/weekly journal of my health, I am not able to do so at present as I have many projects I am working on and simply do not have the time, but I always try to strive to stay focused and optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day.

Obviously adopting a healthy lifestyle can help with coping with life struggles, such as:

  • Regular Exercise
  • Breathing Exercise
  • Meditation
  • Eating Healthily
  • Brain Training
  • Learning New Things
  • Staying Focused
  • Being Organised
  • Setting Goals
  • Time Management
  • Avoiding Negative People
  • Learning to Trust People
  • Motivation
  • Talking to Family and Friends About Your Troubles
  • Discussing your Problems with Professionals, Health, Finance, Relationships etc

Final Thoughts!

I am a disabled entrepreneur and I have created a business round my disabilities. The way I saw it when I first started out, I would not fit in or be accepted in a normal working enviroment and I am the most happiest I have ever been for a long time doing what I do and it works for me. So the way I see it is my disabilities are a blessing in disguise, as I would not be where I am today without them.

I avoid negative judgemental people especially if they have power trips (Trolls especially that have nothing better to do than try an bring a person down, these get immediately blocked).

As for me I will help anyone that genuinely needs my help. I am very good at analysing people and situations and I am very astute.

Stay safe, stay focused and stay motivated, nothing stays the same forever unless you let it…

Christmas Stress Due to Depression & OCD

Christmas Stress Due to Depression and OCD.

As most of you know I suffer from depression and OCD. I have good days and bad days and this last week have made my illnesses skyrocket.

Had the electricians that did Pat Testing the beginning part of the year done their jobs properly and seen that the cooker sockets were inside the hot zone that they should have corrected it.

However because they did not do this, this has created a domino effect when one thing happens after another due to the consequences of people’s actions. Now as you know my cooker arrived which I paid for (more fool me) seeing as I have never had a cooker change in the last 24 years of living at my rented residence, you would have thought the landlord would be happy. I told him I was buying a cooker months ago but conveniently he has forgotten.

So to add insult to injury it has been a week since the cooker was delivered and it is still not been installed.

I was told my landlord would turn up on Saturday then at near enough Midnight he text me to say he would be coming Monday or Tuesday (No Show) so I text him yesterday and asked if he was coming today this was a hours ago and so far he has ignored me.

You have to also know what type of landlord he is, I reported another fault in March of this year and he only had it fixed in December so you can imagine the pace he goes.

The chain reaction of events has caused me to go into severe depression and I am in a very dark place at the moment (This is now my landlord’s fault for making me feel like this as he was the last straw, the straw that broke the camels back to speak).

This is the main factor of my depression at the moment.

But there are additional factors whereby because I am disabled I have a disabled sticker on my wheelie refuse bin, so all the wheelie bins on the street were emptied apart from mine and I checked with the council and there was no reason why my bin was not emptied so my rubbish will pile up for another two weeks in which keeping rubbish in my home is against health and safety and I do not want to attract mice.

I have had problems with mice before and when my neighbor lived downstairs with her cats we had no mice but the moment she left we ended having mice problems.

I took it upon myself to allow my daughter to have a kitten who is now 1 yr 6 months years old it was supposed to be also good for her Multiple Sclerosis therapy and is an eco-friendly mice deterrent.

Now when my landlord came about 6 months ago just before the first lockdown to inspect the property he mentioned nothing about the cat but because I have essentially caused him to lose money because of this cooker installation he has now said he can smell cat urine on the entrance of the flat and up to our staircase and that he will need to buy a new carpet.

This is his way of scamming me as he will buy a cheap carpet and charge me through the roof for changing it. He will have to pay me back for the cooker in that case…..touché.

He scammed me once before by changing the dates of when the rent was due by asking for the rent two weeks after I paid my monthly rent and then moved the rent forward by a month essentially got 6 weeks rent in one month.

“Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me fool me three times I will publically shame you”, (although he fooled me once he won’t be fooling me again).

These are very challenging times for me and only I can get through this, but I still can blame people for making me feel the way I do.

To top it all I phoned the retailer yesterday to see where my refund was seeing as I had waited five working days and they said there was a ‘system error’ and I have to wait a further five working days.

If I treated my customers the way Blue Chip Companies treat theirs, I would most certainly not have any business left.

No consideration for people’s mental health.

Famous People Suffer From Mental Health.

It just shows even famous A-Listers have demons that they fight within their heads.

I wrote a post about why people do not care and now I can prove the point.

FINAL THOUGHTS!

For me to be treated by my landlord as a third-rate citizen is unforgivable and downright, ignorant and rude with no apology absolutely nothing.

If he was too ill he could have got his assistant to message me, rather than blank me altogether.

Out of courtesy, I would have if I were in his shoes been more transparent, just shows the difference in class of people we are.

My landlord has now caused me to sink into a deep well of depression”.

Because he owns the property he thinks he is better than me.

I on the other hand see it as cheap rent and somewhere to sleep.

I certainly would not call it home.

One day the tables will be turned and he will wish he treated me differently.

“Show respect and you will earn respect”

Sorry if I have ranted on about myself but I find writing my thoughts is a bit like therapy, I am releasing the tension and the anger and sharing it with you.

I am not bothering to contact my landlord again and will see how long it takes him to show his face.

As a paying tenant, I have a right to have a cooker and if I was trying to do him a favor I can essentially insist he re-imburses me including all the takeouts and perished food, not to mention PTSD and compensation for work I could essentially lose because I am too ill to work because of his antics and his cowboy contractors.

“On a scale of 1 feeling fine and 20 feelings really low I am 20 plus at the moment and am feeling extremely anxious as to my Landlords next move.

I personally do not know how he can face me again seeing he ruined my Christmas and I am subjected to takeouts every day at an average cost of £30 per day as I have no other means of cooking”.

https://www.jmw.co.uk/services-for-you/personal-injury/compensation-calculator/head-injury/post-traumatic-stress-disorder

Mental Health At Christmas – My Personal Experiences.

Mental Health At Christmas – My Personal Experiences.

For me personally speaking it is not my favourite time of year.

I miss my parents and my bother that passed away and Christmas is not Christmas anymore, I just want Christmas over and done with.

Not just that, I have a few personal problems at home and I get it I know I am not the only one going through things especially with another iminent lockdown on the horizon and businesses struggling to pay their bills.

How can I charge my clients if they are having financial issues? This becomes a catalytic reaction a so called domino effect.

I can underatand that I should be thankful that I have somewhere to sleep and have a roof over my head. However I alway live in fear for lots of different reasons, mainly the constant worry that certain people have an element control over me. I am sad that I cannot free myself no matter how hard I try. I am being told never give up so that is what I am doing, slowly plugging away until I hit the jackpot. It is hard work but I am determined to succeed no matter what. If only I could build my own Rose Island.

“In order to start a new life one needs a lot of money and if one does not have a support network it is difficult to make the change”.

However I am struggling at the moment with my mental health really badly at the moment especially since I had a delivery from ‘Argos’ on Thursday things have just escalated to the point I just want to cry, lock myself away, turn my phone off and not see or speak to anyone until the nightmare is over.

It does not help when ‘Argos’ do not put on their website anything about ‘Hot Zones’ prior to a consumer buying a cooker.

This has started a domino effect as I have had to get my landlord involved in which I really wanted to avoid doing that.

On top of all that because I have not been able to install my cooker all my food with ‘use by dates’ has perished. I have had to order takeouts for my family and at a cost of £30 per day and have not had a refund for my installation which I paid for upfront.

Who is going to compensate me for all the money I have wasted and am still wasting?

I have phoned Argos Customer Service and they have said I will get a refund and I should wait and trust them, but they said they do not send out confirmation emails. I have even emailed the CEO ‘Simon Roberts’ and messaged him on LinkedIn pointing him to a post I made about his website…..Obviously this has been ignored as I am a nobody to this person and insignificant.

I really cannot face work right now because of a series of events, which I do not want to go into, but today on a scale of 1 to 20 with 1 being happy and 20 being really bad, I can safetly say I have gone off the richter scale and I am 20 plus.

I cannot deal with the feeling of: Fear, Doubt, Anxiety and Worry and Intrusive Thoughts”.

These feeling I usually can supress but I am concerned as some people can be intimidating and I simply cannot handle that right now. I need reassurance that everything will be ok but there is no one backing my corner.

My problem, I lack a personal support system and have no one to turn to when I am at my lowest.

I am getting intrusive thoughts in my head and I am battling my demons.

I will see if I can sleep ok over the next few nights or not and if my anxiety and fear subsides or get worse, I have sleeping tablets but when I feel my heart pounding, it is hard to relax.

My heart is in my mouth right now pounding away and I am on the verge of crying.

There are consequences to peoples actions.

I wish something would go right for me right now, but everything I touch seems to go belly up and to pot. I am trying so hard for the situation not to defeat me.

Someone said to me recently “A problem halved is a problem solved”, in most case it is good to talk to someone else I totally agree, but if all that person is a lending of an ear and cannot give you advice as they don know how, then from my own personal experiences there is no point to even speak to them. You need someone who is professional, be it a counsellor, a GP or a Consultant. Who ever you turn to they must have some knowledge and are familiar with the problem you are experiencing and should never remind you about what is upsetting you. For me I miss my parents and brother so to be reminded about them not being here especially at Christmas is the wrong thing to do.

One needs to find a mentor or a person that can support you and give you solid helpful advice. You need to find a person that can be your rock.

For me right now, I really want to sob my heart out and cannot get to sleep. My mind is racing and I am getting heart palpitations. I feel physically sick.

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