Obsessive-compulsive disorder is a neurological mental health anxiety disorder where a person may have irrational compulsive and often debilitating recurring thoughts and behaviors that they cannot control.
The main symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder are unpleasant thoughts and repetitive behaviors, which a person cannot control. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is usually treated with therapy and medication.
Different Types of OCD are:
Contamination / Mental Contamination
Symmetry and ordering
Ruminations / Intrusive Thoughts
Hair Pulling (Trichotillomania)
For me, I find it difficult to touch things other people have touched before me. I also do not like being touched by anyone, hugs, kisses, shaking hands, and patting on the shoulder back, arm, are all out of the question.
I cannot sit on a chair that someone else has sat on especially in public. I cannot touch door handles.
Since the pandemic, I have not left my home to go out to any public places.
If I have to touch the outer packaging of food for example I use disposable gloves. When I meet and greet couriers and delivery drivers it is with disposable gloves.
“I cannot have anyone touch my personal possessions or contaminate the quarantined area of my home. I cannot bear to be touched”. I cannot stand people standing too close to me and with the Covid Regulations that is a blessing in disguise for me.
I am researching neuroplasticity and hypnosis as this has never been offered to me in the 38 years I have suffered from OCD.
I will use myself as the subject matter (patient). Obviously, my journey is a long one and what I learn will not be overnight but with what I learn I will share to help others like me.
My first experience of personal OCD was when my banker boyfriend’s parents who were middle-classed looked down on me because I came from a working-class and foreign eastern european background and his mother saying and I quote “you can find someone better than my son” when our relationship was breaking down. I remember his mother insisting I ate more and have second helpings in order to fatten me up for the slaughter.
I started to feel if I washed my hands and avoided certain things I could salvage my relationship with my boyfriend. I was afraid I was not pretty, clever, or rich enough for him and his family.
They judged me rather than supported me.
I was on the verge of a mental breakdown and when the relationship ended I started to avoid mentioning his name, this was another OCD trait avoiding certain words or numbers.
What was the icing on the cake which made me realize it was not me it was him was when he invited me over to his house, unaware he was engaged to be married and whilst his fiance was not around and all the engagement cards were on the mantlepiece and he tried to make a sexual move on me and with my head up high I asked him to call a taxi for me and I made sure he never saw me again.
I blame my ex and his family for the start of my OCD somewhat 38 years ago and how I was treated by them all. As life has progressed and more trauma has come into my life the worse my OCD has got to the stage thinking I will never be able to get rid of it…
“Hopefully whilst I do my experiment on myself through self-help therapy I will be able to write a new chapter, I know it will not be an overnight success and I will do it at my own pace without any pressure.”. All I will say is watch this space! I will keep you posted in my online journal.
Below are some thought-provoking videos which I thought maybe useful to someone.
OCD or Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder is a mental health illness whereby the sufferer may have recurring intrusive thoughts and repetitive ritual behaviors that they cannot control.
The main symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder are intrusive thoughts and unnatural repetitive behaviors, which the sufferer finds debilitating. Obsessive-compulsive disorder is usually treated with CBT or Hypnotherapy. Prescribed Medication also may help to relieve some of the symptoms especially if the symptoms are severe.
LIST OFFAMOUS PEOPLE WITH OCD
Leonardo DiCaprio suffers from OCD and says that he allowed his condition to worsen in order to play Howard Hughes in “Aviator.”
His childhood memoriess were to step on cracks in the pavement and if he missed any he would have start all over again,
even as far as a few blocks.
“Sin City” star Jessica Alba talked about her OCD in an interview with CosmoGirl stating,
“It was like a panic come over me and I had to do something, and once I did it, I was OK. …
It was really me needing to control something.”
Justin Timberlake suffers from OCD that makes him need everything to be organized perfectly.
He also only allows certain foods in his refrigerator.
Pop star Katy Perry suffers from OCD and says that she brushes her teeth 4-6 times a day.
Howie Mandel has been very open about his OCD. He calls handrails his enemy.
Cameron Diaz’s OCD makes her have a fear of germs.
Soccer great David Beckham has admitted to struggling with OCD saying that he has to reorganize hotel rooms in order to feel comfortable.
“Young Adult” star Charlize Theron says that her OCD keeps her up at nights worrying about messy cabinets and closets.
Historians believe that Albert Einstein suffered from OCD, as do many individuals with very high levels of intelligence.
“Vanilla Sky” actress Penelope Cruz is said to suffer from OCD.
Charlie Sheen has OCD and needs things to be in order. He told Dr. Oz that his OCD even propelled him to fix a strangers shirt collar at a restaurant.
Jennifer Love Hewitt
“Client List” star Jennifer Love Hewitt thinks the she inherited her OCD from her mother.
Alec Baldwin self diagnosed his OCD. Baldwin spoke of the frustrating nature of his condition stating,
“The thing is, you always feel the need to do it, mostly when there’s something at stake. Like,
I will literally be leaving my apartment in New York and I’ve got to go to the airport.
The worst possible time is when the bell rings loudest. A voice will say to me, ‘Move the snowglobe to the right three inches.”
Michael Jackson had Body Dismorphic Disorder which is similar to OCD.
“Planet Terror” star Rose McGowan suffers from OCD related to agoraphobia.
“Star Wars” star Harrison Ford says that his OCD is related to his fear of spiders and reptiles.
Donald Trump says that his OCD prevents him from shaking hands with people.
(Which is Fake News in my opinion as I have seen him shake hands).
Director Martin Scorsese suffers from OCD and he explored the depths of the condition in his film “The Aviator.”
Roseanne Barr has struggled with OCD and she talked about her experience with Larry King.
Howard Stern’s OCD developed as a defense mechanism when he was first starting out.
Stern stated, “When I was in college and nervous about entering the world of broadcasting and earning a living, the pressure was enormous. …
As a defense mechanism, my brain had set up an elaborate maze of rituals that kept me from confronting my fear.”
Film maker Woody Allen has OCD and the main subject that he obsesses about is death.
Historians believe that Nikola Tesla suffered from OCD in his later years.
Fiona Apple suffers from OCD and she calls it a problem that can destroy your life.
“Blues Brothers” star Dan Aykroyd suffers from Tourettes, Aspergers and OCD.
Researches believe that Charles Darwin most likely suffered from OCD.
“A Clockwork Orange” director Stanley Kubrick is thought to have had OCD because of the way that he would shoot an excessive amount of takes when filming his movies.
Kathie Lee Gifford
Talk show host Kathie Lee Gifford is thought to have OCD.
Billy Bob Thornton
“Sling Blade” star Billy Bob Thornton calls suffering from OCD exhausting.
TV show host Marc Summers suffers with OCD. Who knows how Summers managed to deal with all of the slimy messes on his Nickelodeon show “Double Dare.”
People speculate that composer Cole Porter most likely suffered from OCD.
Historians believe that Michelangelo suffered from OCD.
Ludwig van Beethoven
Researchers believe that Ludwig van Beethoven displayed many symptoms of OCD.
Entrepreneur and film maker Howard Hughes suffered for OCD and used to obsess over the size of peas.
Later in his life, Hughes became a recluse and continuously watched movies.
Historians believe that Samuel Johnson likely suffered from OCD.
Researchers find that Stonewall Jackson demonstrated many of the symptoms of OCD.
Talk show host Jeremy Kyle suffers from OCD.
“Werewolves of London” songwriter Warren Zevon suffered from OCD.
He developed a friendship with fellow OCD sufferer Billy Bob Thorton later in his life.
Historians believe that “A Christmas Carol” author Charles Dickens likely suffered from OCD.
Historians believe that Marcel Proust suffered from OCD.
Limp Biscuit front man Fred Durst says that suffering from OCD makes touring really tough.
Gerald Kaufman has self-diagnosed his OCD.
Joey Ramone had a severe case of OCD and low self-esteem.
John Melendez, better known as “Stuttering John,” suffers from OCD, just like his good friend and boss Howard Stern.
Pop singer Natalie Appleton suffers from a mild case of OCD.
British actress/musician Jane Horrocks has been diagnosed with OCD.
Soccer star Steven Gerrard’s OCD manifests itself as constant hand washing.
British actress Emily Lloyd has gotten treatment for OCD and she blames the disorder for stalling her career.
Soccer star Paul Gascoigne suffers from OCD as well as other mental illnesses.
Soccer player Tim Howard had a tough time in school coping with his OCD.
Actor Ian Puleston-Davies has OCD and a fear of germs.
Baseball player Jim Eisenreich was diagnosed with Tourettes and OCD.
Volkert van der Graaf
Murderer Volkert van der Graaf has been diagnosed with OCD and Aspergers.
I am a strong believer in never knock it until you have tried it, meaning see if it works before making assumptions or criticizing, and if the CIA (Gateway Process or Project Stargate) has been doing it for over 20 years there has to be something in it. Accessing your subconscious mind and re-wiring your thoughts can benefit our lives, especially if we get stuck with repetitive thoughts that we cannot shift.
I wish in the 30 years I have suffered from OCD, depression, anxiety, stress, and PTSD that my GPs which I have had a few, could have suggested hypnosis.
It is not for me to tell them to do their jobs but no one ever suggested it and like a good little soldier I went on my merry way without questioning it or bringing it up in conversation. It was only by chance I came across some videos through social media did I really start thinking about a way to help myself. If I can find a way of not being dependant on prescribed drugs for the rest of my like, then I obviously have to give it a go.
I think as I am getting older I am getting a little wiser and have decided to explore neuroplasticity and brain training.
I have just started the art of self-hypnosis and have found a braining training motivational speaker ‘Jake Ducey’as well as the Monroe Institute. I have subscribed to Jakes’s Facebook videos and am on his mailing list. I have found the information he gives is valuable, which I am now implementing into my own life.
For years I have been programmed to think that I was not good enough, that I was a failure, I would not amount to much or have nice things. I was criticized, judged, humiliated, and belittled. I started believing everything anyone said to me.
The emphasis of this multiplied when I got involved with a narcissist that created negative energy and made my life toxic. I knew things had to change and I feel like the world has lifted off my shoulders since he has been gone.
The day I flipped the switch and said enough is enough was the day I started to think differently. Every time anyone would say something derogatory I would have an out-of-body experience. If they were directing their opinions and their judgments at my body, I immediately became numb with a hardened exterior and my body has always felt as it is a vessel and it is protecting what is my inner soul. I felt like they could do what they wanted to my body but they would never get to my soul (sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me).
Everyone is entitled to their opinion but their opinion is not my belief. They could think what they wanted about me, it was now water off a duck’s back and not significant to me. I have always thought treat people like you would wish to be treated.
I started standing up to my fears and thought “what was the best that can happen to me”, rather than my worst? I turned my negative thoughts into good thoughts and started thinking differently. I started making goals.
Where just over a decade ago I had no direction in the last few years I have started to focus. I have set goals and I know what I want but never found a way to manifest what I wanted until now.
I am paving a path. People’s perceptions and opinions of me no longer matter, I am now in control.
In my lifetime I have come across, some very cruel, rude monstrous people that have had this self-opinionated, self-entitled persona about them that they think they are better than you. I have had people with sarcastic, patronizing, opinionated attitudes try and tell me what to do or who have looked down at me and I now rise above it all, as it is only their opinion and who are they at the end of the day?
I have learned if someone is trying to hurt you, end the conversation and block them. I do not play fire with fire, if someone has an evil tongue, I bite mine. Remember silence speaks a thousand words and the universe will pay them back.
Obviously, I have a long way to go to heal as this is only the start of my journey.
I have now started to delve into brain training and mind control(Neuroplasticity) and will publish my progress over the next few months. I will start a 30-day social experiment on myself starting today 30/05/21 where I will use self-hypnosis and the eye roll technique as well as listening to “Jakes audio” and will document my findings on a daily basis which I will publish at the end of next month.
My goal is to try and stabilize my OCD, my depression, my stress, my anxiety, and my PTSD. Because of all the grief, I have endured over the years, I need to brainwash the mind of my memories. I also want to change my ultimate thinking process to manifest what I want.
Apparantly you need to practice the eye roll technique as in the pdf below:
Once you have mastered the eye roll technique you should find a quiet space to meditate and play the following audio:
You should also watch some of “Jake Ducey’s” motivational videos, which I have added open below , especially if you are going through a difficult period in your life and you are surrounded by negative or toxic people.You too also need to retrain your brain and your thought process and try these relaxation and thought-provoking techniques.
Do check out “Jake Ducey’s” website and start re-training your brain. Jake has been featured on FOX, TEDx, Entrepreneur, HuffPost, and INC, and Penguin Random House. He is a force to be reckoned with: https://jakeducey.com/
Believe it or not, The Central Intelligence Agency (CIA) and the United States Government have been using mind control and the laws of attraction for years.
The CIA technique dubbed the Gateway Experience was essentially described as a training system to bring enhanced strength, focus, and coherence to the amplitude and frequency of brainwave outputs patterns, according to the CIA report, ranged from converting energy to heal one’s body to traveling across space and time to learn and access new information. The CIA approved testing for this under the eyes of US Army Lieutenant Colonel Wayne M McDonnell. The project was classified by the CIA until 2003. McDonnell was commissioned to work on the Gateway Experience in the 1980s at a time in US history when the nation was taking a deep interest in different varieties of psychic research.
Project MKUltra (or MK-Ultra) is the code name given to a program of experiments on human subjects that were designed and undertaken by the U.S. Central Intelligence Agency (CIA), some of which were illegal. Experiments on humans were intended to develop procedures and identify drugs such as LSD to be used in interrogations in order to weaken the individual and force confessions through brainwashing and psychological torture. The project was organized through the Office of Scientific Intelligence of the CIA and coordinated with the United States Army Biological Warfare Laboratories. Other code names for drug-related experiments were Project Bluebird and Project Artichoke.
Investigative efforts were halted by CIA Director Richard Helms’s who ordered that all MKUltra files be destroyed in 1973; the Church Committee and Rockefeller Commission investigations relied on the sworn testimony of direct participants and on the relatively small number of documents that survived Helms’s destruction order. In 1977, a Freedom of Information Act requests uncovered a cache of 20,000 documents relating to project MKUltra which led to Senate hearings later that year.
Some surviving information regarding MKUltra was declassified in July 2001. In December 2018, declassified documents included a letter to an unidentified doctor discussing work on six dogs made to run, turn and stop via remote control and brain implants.
The above document “Analysis and Assessment of Gateway Process”, that also Jake refers to is downloadable, it is available through the following link below: https://jakeducey.com/CIA/
This makes me believe there is a way to manipulate one’s mind using hypnosis and Neuroplasticity tDCs.
Alternatively if you cannot download the document for some reason, then drop us a line.
According to the Hebbian theory(Hebbs Law) is a neuroscientific theory claiming that an increase in synaptic efficacy arises from a presynaptic cell’s repeated and persistent stimulation of a postsynaptic cell. It is an attempt to explain synaptic plasticity, the adaptation of brain neurons during the learning process. It was introduced by Donald Hebb in his 1949 book The Organization of Behavior. The theory is also called Hebb’s rule, Hebb’s postulate, and cell assembly theory. Hebb states it as follows:
Let us just think that the persistence or repetition of a reverberatory activity (or “trace”) tends to induce lasting cellular changes that add to its stability. … When an axon of cell A is near enough to excite a cell B and repea cells firing B, is increased.
New technology has found our brains continue to rewire themselves and never stops changing as we age. The term neuroplasticity can now make it possible to repair our damaged brains.
We have 86 Billion Neurons & Nerve Cells in our Brains, so we need to be able to control how we use them.
Imagine stimulating the brain to stop us feeling physical and mental pain or help us our bodily functions due to some sort of brain damage which has caused us to become physically disabled.
Imagine having mental health or neurological problem such as OCD and having the possibility to re-wire the circuits to stop you from having intrusive thoughts, anxiety, stress, depression, and PTSD, or physical disabilities.
Imagine being able to fix the issues and go back to running a normal life.
Believe it or not, is no longer science fiction it is real and it can be done through wearable non-evasive (TDCS) Transcranial direct current stimulation. What this means is the brain gets painless low intensity direct electrical currents stimulation treatment. A constant current flow is passed through two electrodes placed over the head which modulates neuronal activity.
CEOs are starting to use the technology to supercharge their brains to be able to memorize things better and to fine-tune their knowledge. As with all trending technology many high-flying executives are jumping at the chance of grabbing these devices. At the SHA Wellness Clinic on the southern coast of Spain, business leaders and high-powered diplomats take the opportunity to unwind and relax with healthy food, spa treatments, and brain zapping. “They’re decision-makers and people who have very stressful lives and are aware that they need to reset themselves,” says SHA vice president Alejandro Bataller. “They come to learn more about themselves so they can enjoy optimal vitality and brain activity, and therefore productivity.”
Obviously, as with anything hi-tech, there are concerns about the effectiveness of tDCS, with fears that in the wrong hand, people could do themselves long-term damage with unlicensed or homemade devices. According to Vincent Walsh, a cognitive neuroscientist at University College London stated that “The field, in general, is plagued by low-quality research and publication bias,” Experiments have had small numbers and poor controls that don’t do a good job of eliminating placebo effects. “When we look at tDCS, people have jumped the gun, they have made claims to sell these things to people that are not based on the literature”.
It is debatable if sending electrical currents to the neurons in the brain, makes them more or less likely to fire and creating the desired effects.
“If I had the opportunity to have the treatment with a safe no-evasive wearable device, I would certainly give it a try”.
“My OCD consumes my life and if I thought that using this device could help with OCD, Depression, Anxiety & PTSD I would jump at the chance to give it a go, obviously, I would wait until after all clinical trials were completed and approved by the MHRA and FDA”.
I have watched some videos which I will add at the end, which I hope will give you a better understanding of the possibilities to help with mental health being and physical disabilities.
However ‘Vincent Walsh’ is concerned about the biased published data not actually showing the negative outcome if any from this treatment. He is worried that only positive results are being published.
In 2014, psychologist Nick Davis at the University of Swansea published a paper calling for “extreme caution” in using tDCS and highlighting a number of problems, including a lack of knowledge about long-term side-effects, a lack of clear dosing guidelines, and a dearth of research about how tDCS might impact children.
“Obviously, I am all for trying something new and there is already a range of devices one can purchase, but I am personally concerned how effective they are considering how much money you initially need to buy of these things and what adverse reactions can come from using these things”.
Before searching the internet I will throw caution in the wind as some devices may be available to buy but may pose a risk to your health especially if they have not been clinically proven and do not have the CE stamp which would mean they do not have a license.
The trending high tech medical device on the market is theFlow Neuroscience headset made by a Swedish Company, which was launched last year and has CE approval in the EU and in the UK which means it can be sold as a medical device for the treatment of depression and is being sold in the UK and Sweden. The device is attached to two points on the forehead.
The co-founder Daniel Mansson, a clinical psychologist believes that other devices on the market cannot treat depression.
Flow aims to provide a pharmaceutical-free treatment for long-term depression, which is, in some cases, associated with lower neural activity in the left frontal lobe. The company secured a £1.2m investment from private equity firm Khosla Ventures to fund clinical studies and support a rollout in the UK and EU.
A note on the Flow website warns that it should only be used by people with a medical diagnosis of depression, but no prescription is required to purchase the hefty price tag of £399 per headset. There is no guarantee that it will work 100% for everyone, which would make me think twice before buying it.
The EU has a new regulation that came into force in May 2020 which will ban the sale of wearable devices that haven’t gone through the CE marking process.
However, Vincent Walsh argues that although devices being CE approved does not prove that the product isn’t dangerous, it’s not equivalent to NICE or FDA approval.
‘Vincent Walsh’ accuses ‘Flow Neuroscience’ the company of being biased and cherry-picking from the publication to show only the positive side of the product is effective at treating depression, ignoring more measured and negative randomized control trials and meta-analyses, as well as “individual differences, treatment resistance and depth of depression”.
Would I try it if it was available on the NHS or if the company sent it to me to try and review, possibly, but I would want to know all the adverse effects and see other peoples experiences and make sure that putting a contraption on my head would not fry my brain? I think I would have to wait until it was FDA approved before trying it out.
Flow is working towards FDA approval in the US and is starting talks with the NHS to make the headset available on prescription.
This will not stop perfectly healthy people from being attracted to the brain zapping device.
I know technology is evolving fast with Elon Musk and Brain to Brain telepathy and mind control called Neuralink
Final Thoughts From The Editor
There are other ways of retraining your brain without a drastic measure of sending electrical currents to your brain or drilling holes.
Would I try the Neuralink if it was offered to me, well for the right price with certain conditions that I was able to secure my daughter’s future should something bad happen to me, then maybe I would consider it. If it meant that I would be helping other people with mental health and neurological conditions like myself then at least I would be remembered for that.
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy is a form of treatment for people with mental health disorders. Cognitive-behavioral therapy is a psycho-social intervention that helps to improve mental health. CBT focuses on challenging tasks and changing cognitive distortions and behaviors, improving emotional regulation, and developing personal coping strategies that target solving current problems.
“From what I have learned over the years your mind has to be in the right place you must be at peace with yourself and your demons”.
For years I have struggled with mental health issues mostly as adirect consequence of grief. I have tried cognitive behavioral therapy and found it to be non-effective. I also had a therapist but found talking about remembering things I wanted to forget, not effective either.
I never tried hypnosis and have been curious about its effectiveness. I have seen how patients terrified of flying or spiders were cured using this technique, however, I believe I have fallen between the gaps for the NHS to help me.
In fact, I sent a very private and confidential letter to my GP today and had an autoresponder message to redirect my inquiry to the practice manager.
What happened to data protection and privacy?
I find medication helps to a certain degree, especially with my sleeping, and does keep me from staying calm most of the time, keeping myself busy is also a factor in managing my disability. My mind is always active and I never run out of ideas of doing something new and I can never say I am bored.
Here Are SomeSteps to Retrain Your Brain.
Accept your thoughts and obstacles. Admit to yourself what is troubling you, face your fears.
Make a plan for how you will tackle the obstacles and turn your negative thoughts into positives ones.
Organize your day, keep a planner or diary/journal of things to do.
Admit to yourself what triggers you.
Set a plan to move forward, write done what you want to achieve and set goals, create a personal mantra.
Be thankful for what you have got and be kind to people. Practice daily gratitude.
Help other people, helping others by empowering and motivation will make you a leader. Pay it back.
Find mentors or read books on successful people and network with people that inspire you.
Create a Dream board and visualize what you want from life, practice the law of attraction.
Eat Healthily (your body is your temple, treat it with respect).
Keep yourself busy.
Do crosswords and puzzles.
Write down your thoughts, this could be a diary or online journal.
Write a book.
Start a business.
Appreciate your surroundings and Nature.
Be creative, build lego or Airfix models, try art painting with watercolor, oils, and acrylics.
Make a sculpture.
Code Computer Games.
Learn a Language.
Learn a New Skill.
Get a qualification. It is never too late to learn.
Train as an athlete.
Become a Coach and do public speaking.
Make a legacy so that people can remember you.
Brain train by reading books.
Brain train by playing video games, app games, or play chess.
I have also updated the Disclaimer Page & added a Networking Page under the heading Legal Pages, this is to let viewers know that the owner of this site uses a SEO Link Wheels to generate traffic and that all the Websites and Blogs are all under one umbrella belonging to Renata M Barnes (UK Website Designers) You will see the credit in the footer of all the websites I own and also manage for other clients.
Moving on I have also started to intergrate video marketing into my services. This is a useful tool to attract business and I am now offering it to my clients. You can view a the portfolio of Videos here.
As for my health it is starting to deteriorate as the pressures and daily stresses of life can sometimes be overwhelming. I am fighting hard for it not to beat me but when my own health professionals are working against me rather than for me it can be too much to bear…….I will explain.
Not only am I disabled I also have a disabled daughter that I am officially a carer for, so when I see red flags I tend to question things as in the case of my GP who threatens you if you make waves. Read the latest on this Surgery that has brought me to breaking point: https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/category/bayer-pharmaceutical/ All I was doing was voicing my concerns as my daughter is classed as a vulnerable person and I was told I lack respect to the highly qualified pharmacist and clinician at the surgery and was told that seeing there is a breakdown of doctor/patient relationship it would be in my best interest to find another surgery.
“I am really struggling with my health and have developed social disconnection disorderand have a fear of venturing out. The less face to face human interaction I have, the happier I feel”. I have been hurt too many times to care to mention and the people I trusted the most betrayed me. In my lifetime I have experienced discrimination, racial attacks, have been abused physically and mentally and have been physically assaulted, disrespected, undermined, critised, judged, belittled, robbed, have felt sadness, dispair and dealt with grief. All these things are contributing factors to my mental disability, which has been caused by other people and entities.There is no denying my mental health is due to a domino effect caused by direct consequences to other peoples actions.
It is because of certain individuals and certain events that I am this way. I am 58 yrs old and have met my fair share of people over the years and I can count on my one hand how many people I can trust. I can also name each and every single person and entity responsible for my ill health and the reasons why.
Some cope by turning to drinking alcohol or taking recreational drugs. People smoke cigarettes claiming it calms their nerves, I do not smoke cigarettes, do not drink alcohol or take recreational drugs but depend on the prescription medication that are prescribed for me. Everyone has different ways with coping with stress, trauma and life events, mine is documenting everything (therapeutic) and adapting around my disabilities aswell as trying to help others.
I also cancelled my Covid-19 Vaccine appointment as I have a severe anaphylaxis allergy to PEG where I was vaccinated with steriod in the past which had polythylene glycol in fact over the years I have had many anaphlaxis allergies including severe breathing difficulties from penicillin and severe skin allergy where my face looked reptilian and I was in excrutiating pain, all of which is on my medical records. https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2021/03/19/polyethylene-glycol-peg-allergy-as-a-cause-of-anaphylaxis/ I am not prepared to take any risks with my life or become more ill than I already am. At least with my OCD, Depression I can manage my life to a certain degree and can work around my disabilities. But being off work fully is inconceivable and is something I cannot do as I have obligations to my clients.
I have to be online every single day, imagine being too ill to work what would happen to your business if you had no one to help you? Your clients are not going to say “ok call us when you feel better”, the food chain still has to carry on. I have heard the second vaccine is worse the the first but I am waiting on herd immunity to kick in as I do not plan venturing out any time soon.
I would not describe myself as a hypochondriac as all my disabilities are medically documented. I try not to think about illnesses unless it is affecting me directly and at any given time. I try to actually block out my disabilities and try to live a relatively normal life to a certain degree (although there is nothing normal about me). The world on the internet is not going to know about my disabilities unless they bother to do some research about me, so me sitting in front of a computer screen I am as normal as the next person.
I cannot be critised for having no empathy. I will help people in need but will never make it personal. If someone needs me to lend them my ear or a shoulder I will try and help.
To be frank I have coped better than most during the Covid-19 Lockdown. My business has improved as people have turned to the internet for a second income stream. Where I had issues about people bumping into you and not looking where they where going in the past, it is as if the heavens have opened up and had everyone stay 2 metres apart (not that I go out anywhere though).
Wearing disposable latex gloves is no longer questionable and I do not feel the odd one out anymore.
I do miss going out once a month with my daughter when she and I used to go up to the hospital for her to have her monthly blood done and then we would go to a restaurant in the city centre. I won’t say I will never go again as they say “never say never”, but it is going to take me a long time to adjust to the new surroundings and facing people at the moment is really causing me distress. I am fine with the grocery and courier drivers but that is as far as I am willing to interact physically with other people other than my family.
“I do have a goal and that is to make enough money for me to retire comfortably and for my daughter to have a head start in life. My priority is my family and my business and nothing else”.
I won’t let this general practice surgery beat me. I have a long list of people I can complain to.
Coping With Mental Health in General.
Take time out to have some TLC. Do something that will make you happy and relaxed. Try to occupy you mond with something else other than what is worrying you.
If you work for a company see if they have an HR department that deals with mental health. If not suggest that they do have a department and volunteer to be a spokesperson, you will no longer be seen as a follower and more so as a leader. Every business no matter how big or small should have some sort of department to air your worries and anxieties and perhaps meet up once a week to just chat. However if you find that there is no such option and you have had no alternative to tell your employer, he/she has a responsibility under Equalities Act to be obliging and to accommodate you and your condition if it is considered a long term affliction. You may not be the only one that is suffering so considering starting a club even after work can make all the difference.
Stay focused it is easy to just to clock watch until the hour hand hits 5 o’clock but that does not help you or your employer hence you need to set goals and try to make some progress on a daily basis. You should concentrate on the work in hand but at the same time consider starting a second income stream and do research and learn. Reading helps people to stay motivated and empowers them to learn a new skill. This skill could help your employer or can help you to break away and go it alone.
Do not over critisie yourself, if things are not going your way, tomorrow is another day. Accepting the fact that we all experience good days and bad days is just a way of life and we need to learn to overcome obstacles that come our way. For me venting my anxiety, anger and frustration online is therapeutical. I know some one will read it and will relate. I also think that what I write could actually help someone other than myself.
The impact of problems such as depression and anxiety are unique and individual to each and every one of us and how we cope with them and different situations of life is equally as individual. Above I have merely mentioned some advice on dealing with issues of mental health in the workplace, but speaking to your GP and building a network of support are arguably the most important steps you can take in your recovery. For me I personally will not be relating my anxieties any time soon to my GP if I still have one, as it is practice management that you tell the reception first what is wrong with you, what ever happend to GDPR and not sharing the information with anyone other than your doctor. According to an inspection report that I downloaded on another post I made https://marketingagency.cymrumarketing.com/2021/03/30/gp-surgeries-are-small-businesses/ the receptionists have to sign a non disclosure agreement. This is hog wash if they wish to talk about you without actually mentioning you name.
Just because I have a mental health disability does not make me less of a person. My disability does not define me and make me less intelligent, in fact on the contrary my disability is my ‘Super Power’ and although it comes with challenges it gives me strength and purpose to carry on and help motivate and empower others that having a disability is not the end of the world and you can still achieve your aspirationsand all you need is a gentle push.Never let some tell you it cannot be done or it is impossible for you to achieve, listen to your heart and not what others tell you. Do not listen to naysayers.
My Super Power is everytime anyone disrespects me, tries to undermined me or do other atrocities I will write about them. Anyone throwing obstactles in my way, making my life difficult or miserable, I will document. Everytime anyone tries to do anything to hurt me I will hit the keyboard. The same goes if I see anyone being treated unfairly, the perpetrator will feel my Super Power.
Whats your super power? Mine is exercising my journalist skills!
If you want to talk to just drop me a line, I am happy to chat to you online or send emails. Although I do not do face to face meetings I am happy to help anyone who is feeling distressed. Just because I have difficulty interacting physically does not mean I have a problem interacting virtually. Remember a problem shared is a problem halved. If you have a network of people you can rely on then that is fine, but if you don’t there are many organisation out there that can help and I also can lend an ear or shoulder to cry on or send virtual hugs.
I have this methology “if life gives you lemons, make lemonade”. I am not the type of person to whinge and moan, I just make the most of what I have and try to get on with it.
I always keep myself busy and set goals. However my physical and mental disabilities are obstacles that daily I have to get round.
My OCD is by far one of my prominent disabilities and have designed a quarantined cocoon area where only I have access to. This area allows me to be free of any anxieties that I would have in the normal environment. I have adopted this practice to save cleaning my whole home from top to bottom day in and day out. Believe me I used to clean from top to bottom every single day until I realised I was wasting valuable time doing something else.
Keeping myself busy does help to block out intrusive thoughts to a certain degree. I am the worlds worse for critising myself. I try to brain train to reason with myself that what I do is ridiculous and out of character to normal people, but it all is related to stress, anxiety and depression. Depending how stress I am under will depend how well my day will be. If I am super stressed, I find that I cannot concentrate and even do minuscule tasks.
My OCD is germ contamination related and I am even more conscious of my surrounding and the things that I touch. I dislike people visting me and visa versa. I prefer not to go out, hence I am not going out any time soon pandemic regulations or not.
Cerebellar Atrophy (I lose my balance or grip and muddle my words up especially when I write, I also have mental blocks).
OCD (I am aware of germ cross contimination and and am careful what I touch).
Social Disconnection (I prefer my own company and not go out and socialise, although we can’t anyway but you get my drift).
PTSD (I have flashbacks of the physical and mental trauma I endured in the past and certain things trigger my depression).
Clinical Depression (This is related to past physical and mental trauma I endured, in which there are days where I go to a dark place).
Rheumatoid Arthritis (I cannot bend my knee, again from past physical trauma/abuse).
Dysphagia (I sometimes choke of food, I get a painful feeling followed by trouble swallowing and breathing and only when the food is dislodged does the feeling subside, gross I know but what can I do? I have been told I could have surgery but there is no gauarantee that it would work. I am not going to go under the knife for anything, I can tell you that for sure).
Epidural Analgesia (Chronic Back Pain, even bending down to feed the cat makes my back spasm, the same goes if I am standing for excessive length of time I have shooting pains from the small of my back to the nape of my neck. Simple taskes like taking out the rubbish or bringing in the grocery shopping has brought tears to my eyes in the past).
So yes I have good days and bad days but I do not dwell on my ailments and try to live the best way I can. I adapt to around my disabilities. Fortuantely for me I offer digital services so I can do 100% of my work online and do not have to venture out.
Stress and worry are contributing factorsto my OCD, PTSD, Depression and Social Disconnection.
Getting headaches (I have regular headaches)
Having stomach cramps (I have a bad stomach most days, but that can be from drinking energy drinks to keep me awake).
Not being able to sleep (I find my medication helps me sleep but it takes a few hours for me to wind down, hence I watch a film or play a game, I also read books from time to time).
Feeling pains in your chest (I do not get them often but when I do it is scary as I have also experienced jaw ache and shooting pain down my left arm in the past). I have had an ecg scan done and the doctor said there was nothing wrong, yet the same doctor also prescribed antacid ‘Gaviscon’ to my daughter even though she was later diagnosed with MS after I admitted her into A&E.
Having constant worring (If I do not keep myself busy I do worry hence I try to keep my mind occupied all the time). Worrying only makes your health deteriorate and although life struggles can get in the way of your happiness, one needs to find a way to tackle the problem we are faced with, rather than sweep them under the carpet. Confronting your inner demons makes you stronger. Sometimes simply writing down your problems is the first step to dealing with whatever is on your mind. Talking to a friend or family member also helps but for me expessing my emotions in the form of a blog is theraputic in itself.
Having panic attacks (I only get these if I have to meet negative people). People that judge or critise, you know the people I am talking about or if I have a deadline in work or something that I have seen or heard that has triggered the onset of sheer panic. However for most part I am organised and know to how to avoid trigger warnings, so panic attacks are subdued.
Feeling shortness of breath, (I only get this if I cannot swallow due to my Dysphagia or at times when I have in the past been in distress, due to the trauma and abuse I endured).
Having mood swings with friends or family (I avoid socialising so no one knows my moods and no one can be on the tail end if I do have a bad day).
Finding it hard to feel happy (Continuously reassuring myself and staying positive that what I am doing will eventually change my life for the better, is enough to motivate me to get up and tackle every day tasks).
Although I was going to do a daily/weekly journal of my health, I am not able to do so at present as I have many projects I am working on and simply do not have the time, but I always try to strive to stay focused and optimistic that tomorrow will be a better day.
Obviously adopting a healthy lifestyle can help with coping with life struggles, such as:
Learning New Things
Avoiding Negative People
Learning to Trust People
Talking to Family and Friends About Your Troubles
Discussing your Problems with Professionals, Health, Finance, Relationships etc
I am a disabled entrepreneur and I have created a business round my disabilities. The way I saw it when I first started out, I would not fit in or be accepted in a normal working enviroment and I am the most happiest I have ever been for a long time doing what I do and it works for me. So the way I see it is my disabilities are a blessing in disguise, as I would not be where I am today without them.
I avoid negative judgemental people especially if they have power trips (Trolls especially that have nothing better to do than try an bring a person down, these get immediately blocked).
As for me I will help anyone that genuinely needs my help. I am very good at analysing people and situations and I am very astute.
Stay safe, stay focused and stay motivated, nothing stays the same forever unless you let it…
As most of you know I suffer with Depression and OCD. I have good days and bad days and this last week has made my illnesses sky rocket.
Had the electricians that did Pat Testing the begining part of the year done their jobs properly and seen that the cooker sockets where inside the hot zone that they should have corrected it.
However because they did not do this, this has created a domino effect when one thing happens after another due to consequences of peoples actions. Now as you know my cooker arrived which I paid for (more fool me) seeing as I have never had a cooker change in the last 24years of living at my rented residence, you would have thought the landlord would be happy. I told him I was buying a cooker months ago but conveniently he has forgotten.
So to add insult to injury it has been a week since the cooker was delivered and it is still not been installed.
I was told my landlord would turn up on Saturday then at near enough Midnight he text me to say he would be coming Monday or Tuesday (No Show) so I text him yesterday and asked if he was coming today this was a hours ago and so far he has ignored me.
You have to also know what type of landlord he is, I reported another fault in March of this year and he only had it fixed in December so you can imagine the pace he goes.
The chain reaction of events has caused me to to go into severe depression and I am in a very dark place at the moment (This is now my landlords fault for making me feel like this as he was the last straw, the straw that broke the camels back to speak).
This is the main factor of my depression at the moment.
But there are additional factors whereby because I am disabled I have a disabled sticker on my wheelie refuse bin, so all the wheelie bins on the street were emptied apart from mine and I checked with the council and there was no reason why my bin was not emptied so my rubbish will pile up for another two weeks in which keeping rubbish in my home is against health and safety and I do not want to attract mice.
I have had problems with mice before and when my neighbour lived down stairs with her cats we had no mice but the moment she left we ended having a mice problems.
I took it upon myself to allow my daughter to have a kitten who is now 1 yr 6 months years old it was supposed to be also good for her Multiple Sclerosis therapy and is an eco friendly mice deterrent.
Now when my landlord came about 6 months ago just before the first lockdown to inspect the property he mentioned nothing about the cat but because I have essentially caused him to loose money because of this cooker installation he has now said he can smell cat urine on the entrance of the flat and up our staircase and that he will need to buy a new carpet.
This is his way to scamming me as he will buy a cheap carpet and charge me through the roof for changing it. He will have to pay me back for the cooker in that case…..touché.
He scammed me once before by changing the dates of when the rent was due by asking for the rent two weeks after I paid my monthly rent and then moved the rent forward by a month essentially got 6 weeks rent in one month.
“Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me fool me three times I will publically shame you”, (although he fooled me once he won’t be fooling me again).
These are very challenging times for me and only I can get through this, but I still can blame people for making me feel the way I do.
To top it all I phoned the retailer yesterday to see where my refund was seeing as I had waited five working days and they said there was a ‘system error’ and I have to wait a further five working days.
If I treated my customers the way Blue Chip Companies treat theirs, I would most certainlynot have any business left.
No consideration for peoples mental health.
Famous People Suffer With Mental Health.
It just shows even famous A-Listers have demons that they fight with in their heads.
I wrote a post why people do not care and now I can prove the point.
For me to be treated by my landlord like a third rate citizen is unforgivable and down right, ignorant and rude with no apology absolutely nothing.
If he was too ill he could have got his assistant to message me, rather than blank me altogether.
Out of courtesy I would have if I were in his shoes been more transparent, just shows the difference in class of people we are.
“My landlord has now caused me to sink into a deep well of depression”.
Because he owns the property he thinks he is better than me.
I on the other hand see it as cheap rent and somewhere to sleep.
I certainly would not call it home.
One day the tables will be turnedand he will wish he treated me differently.
“Show respect and you will earn respect”
Sorry if I have ranted on about myself but I find writing my thoughts is a bit like therapy, I am releasing the tension and the anger and sharing it with you.
I am not bothering to contact my landlord again and will see how long it takes him to show his face.
As a paying tenant I have a right to have a cooker and if I was trying to do him a favour I can essentially insist he re-imburses me including all the takeouts and persished food, not to mention PTSD and compensation for work I could essentially loose because I am too ill to work because of his anticsand his cowboy contractors.
“On a scale of 1 feeling fine and 20 feeling really low I am 20 plus at the moment and am feeling extremely anxoious as to my Landlords next move. I personally do not know how he can face me again seeing he ruined my Christmas and I am subjected to takeout every day at an average cost of £30 per day as I have no other means of cooking”.
Mental Health At Christmas – My Personal Experiences.
For me personally speaking it is not my favourite time of year.
I miss my parents and my bother that passed away and Christmas is not Christmas anymore, I just want Christmas over and done with.
Not just that, I have a few personal problems at home and I get it I know I am not the only one going through things especially with another iminent lockdown on the horizon and businesses struggling to pay their bills.
How can I charge my clients if they are having financial issues? This becomes a catalytic reaction a so called domino effect.
I can underatand that I should be thankful that I have somewhere to sleep and have a roof over my head. However I alway live in fear for lots of different reasons, mainly the constant worry that certain people have an element control over me. I am sad that I cannot free myself no matter how hard I try. I am being told never give up so that is what I am doing, slowly plugging away until I hit the jackpot. It is hard work but I am determined to succeed no matter what. If only I could build my own Rose Island.
“In order to start a new life one needs a lot of money and if one does not have a support network it is difficult to make the change”.
However I am struggling at the moment with my mental health really badly at the moment especially since I had a delivery from ‘Argos’ on Thursday things have just escalated to the point I just want to cry, lock myself away, turn my phone off and not see or speak to anyone until the nightmare is over.
It does not help when ‘Argos’do not put on their website anything about ‘Hot Zones’prior to a consumer buying a cooker.
This has started a domino effect as I have had to get my landlord involved in which I really wanted to avoid doing that.
On top of all that because I have not been able to install my cooker all my food with ‘use by dates’ has perished. I have had to order takeouts for my family and at a cost of £30 per day and have not had a refund for my installation which I paid for upfront.
Who is going to compensate me for all the money I have wasted and am still wasting?
I have phoned Argos Customer Service and they have said I will get a refund and I should wait and trust them, but they said they do not send out confirmation emails. I have even emailed the CEO ‘Simon Roberts’ and messaged him on LinkedIn pointing him to a post I made about his website…..Obviously this has been ignored as I am a nobody to this person and insignificant.
I really cannot face work right now because of a series of events, which I do not want to go into, but today on a scale of 1 to 20 with 1 being happy and 20 being really bad, I can safetly say I have gone off the richter scale and I am 20 plus.
“I cannot deal with the feeling of: Fear, Doubt, Anxiety and Worry and Intrusive Thoughts”.
These feeling I usually can supress but I am concerned as some people can be intimidating and I simply cannot handle that right now. I need reassurance that everything will be ok but there is no one backing my corner.
My problem,I lack a personal support system and have no one to turn to when I am at my lowest.
I am getting intrusive thoughts in my head and I am battling my demons.
I will see if I can sleep ok over the next few nights or not and if my anxiety and fear subsides or get worse, I have sleeping tablets but when I feel my heart pounding, it is hard to relax.
My heart is in my mouth right now pounding away and I am on the verge of crying.
There are consequences to peoples actions.
I wish something would go right for me right now, but everything I touch seems to go belly up and to pot. I am trying so hard for the situation not to defeat me.
Someone said to me recently “A problem halved is a problem solved”, in most case it is good to talk to someone else I totally agree, but if all that person is a lending of an ear and cannot give you advice as they don know how, then from my own personal experiences there is no point to even speak to them. You need someone who is professional, be it a counsellor, a GP or a Consultant. Who ever you turn to they must have some knowledge and are familiar with the problem you are experiencing and should never remind you about what is upsetting you. For me I miss my parents and brother so to be reminded about them not being here especially at Christmas is the wrong thing to do.
One needs to find a mentor or a person that can support you and give you solid helpful advice.You need to find a person that can be your rock.
For me right now,I really wanttosobmyheart outand cannot get to sleep. My mind is racing and I am getting heart palpitations.I feel physically sick.
About the Author – I want to first start by saying I have suffered with OCD for the best part of 30 years.
I first noticed I had issues whilst I was encountering a relationship breakdown which was very traumatic. The feeling of grief was just as debilitating as having someone pass away. You no longer can be with that person, see them or hear them.
However I would also like to say that my mother had OCD although it was undiagnosed and she refused to admit there was anything wrong with her.
Throughout my childhood for as long as I remember my mother would wash her hands to the extent she could empty a whole tank of hot water. She also would check the soles of the family shoes and any visitors shoes insisting the shoes had to be taken off before coming into the house. Our school uniforms had to be taken off in designated areas and all food packaging had to be cleaned before it could be safetly put away.
I was never allowed to invite friends over and if they called round we would just chat in the porch.
My mother was in denial and not knowing what OCD was at the time, I could not help her.
I could not relate until I was in my early 20’s and by that time my mother simply said I was talking nonsense and that she did not have a problem yet I clearly could see she did and so did I.
From talking to my extended family, I also found out my grandmother had OCD and so did my Uncle who would not sit down unless be put his hankerchief on a chair.
My OCD is related to germ contamination, mental contamination, rumination, intrusive thoughts and avoiding physical contact with anyone.
This has flactuated over the years and depending how trusting I was towards a person would determine my OCD levels.
If I do not trust someone now, I cannot physically touch them or touch anything that they have touched. I feel if I do, bad things will happen to me of which I have had my fair share of traumatic events.
I rather avoid contact than risk something bad happening to me again.
I have been known to make several clothing changes in a day and had to wash myself with ‘Dettol Antiseptic Disinfectant’ before my intrusive thoughts subsided.
I find it hard communicating with the outside world, I am far happier sitting behind a computer screen than actually dealing with people face to face.
If things go well for me and I am less stressed I can venture out, but mostly I avoid people and social distancing is a God send to me as before I would get extremely frustrated when people were careless and walked into me or brushed past me and simply said “Sorry”. If I were a car and you bumped into me you would not be saying “Sorry”, instead you would be giving me your insurance details.
Since the Pandemic outbreak I have not left the house. I have everything delivered and can run my business remotely. I also have no visitors other than my daughters boyfriend who knows what he can and can’t do.
It is amazing how many people do suffer with OCD but do not talk about it and try to hide it. Even my daughters boyfriend has OCD and does not like touching things without having to wash his finger tips. He also has a tendency of checking to see if his car is locked several times before he is happy. I am not a therapist so I am not going to ask questions. It is up to him to seek medical help and not for me to interfere. If he wants my help I can simply advise.
There are Nineteen Characteristics of OCD.
Checking (I have witness a chap a couple doors away from me going round his car serveral times checking to see if his doors are locked).
Germ Contamination (This can be cleaning or disinfecting).
Mental Contamination (The feeling of self worth when a person has been treated badily)
Hoarding (My mothers friend is a hoarder and has suffered several traumatic events in her life). People who hoard find comfort surrounded by materialistic things which may be of no value to the outside world but is an asset to them.
Ruminations (Rumination is the focused attention on the symptoms of one’s distress, and on its possible causes and consequences) This including avoidance go hand in hand.
On the contrary OCD is not just about cleaning it could be polar opposites. I cannot manage to keep a whole flat super germ free but can quarantine my bubble, my space so to speak and make sure it is not contaminated.
Over the years my OCD has been a combination of germ contamination, mental contamination, ruminations, rituals, reassurance, trigger, avoidance, intrusive thoughts, numbers and counting. I would either avoid saying the number 13 or count something 21 times, (I was born on the 13th ironically and once on my 21st birthday I placed a £1.00 bet on the roulette table and won £21.00).
I occassionaly have had irrational thoughts and try to rationalise with myself that my thoughts are just that, stupid thoughts and totally absurd.
I have managed to cope with my OCD and having everything under control. Obviously it is not ideal but life is not perfect. “If you are dealt lemons, make lemonade”
I have tried therapy in the past and find it difficult to go over the same old things over and over again I would much rather forget.
Funnily enough I spoke to my mothers friend the other day and where I tried to be support for her as she had breast cancer and had her breast removed, I found it more and more difficult to phone her every week because without fail she would mention my ex which I want to forget but she won’t let me. She is old she is in her 80s so she forgets things as I have noticed each time I give her my telephone numberm so for me to say please do not mention my ex again would simply go over her head.
I have also tried cognitive therapy forcing you to touch something and resisting you from washing your hands. This did not work for me as I have to be in the right state of mind for it to work.
Give me £1M to start my life over again and I will see if my OCD gets better 🤔. This could be a social experiment which I could write if changing ones life for the better helps to change ones mental state.
Like I said I am no expert but I have lived with this disability for a number of years and have witnessed people’s behaviour in terms of their own OCD, aswell as reactions when you say you have OCD.
People still think mental illness as taboo and look at you as if you are ‘CRAZY’.
I most certainly do not belong in an asylum but just have a defense mechanism to protect myself from harm when I am threatened or feel insecure.
The way I see it I can mock myself but no one has the right to mock me.
I wish I could live a normal life without worry or stress and brain wash all the bad things that have ever happened to me away. But the chance of that happening are slim as I will always be reminded about my parents and bother passing away aswell as the abusive relationship and other bad incidents that happened to me over the years.
I still have episodes where I look at something and it brings back bad memories. Looking at photographs of people that have passed away and the feeling of sadness and emptyness or seeing something that was used to harm me. My home is full of very expensive memories that I cannot simply get rid of because of their materialistic value and have been damaged in some way. As an example looking at the bristles of a kitchen broom today brought memories flooding back.
I try my best to block out things and put them away where I cannot see them.
My home is full of bad memories which I would rather forget.
One day I hope to put the past behind me and start a new life somewhere else in a happier environment and I know what is holding me back, hence my plan will not happen overnight.
All I can do is try my hardest to move on and make a negative into a positive.
What Causes OCD.
There are many theories what causes OCD.
Scientists however have not been able to identify a definitive cause for why a person develops Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD).
The potential causes of OCD can involve one of or a combination of either; neurobiological, genetic (my mother and my grandmother), learned behaviours (seeing my mother perform her rituals although I do not copy any), pregnancy, environmental factors or specific events that trigger the disorder in a specific individual at a particular point in time.
For me it have been a catalyst of a series of traumatic events that have caused me to cocoon myself, although cereabellar atrophy is also linked to OCD which I was diagnosed with about 11 years ago, which makes no sense as I have had OCD for about 30 years now.
The way I see it although there may be other factors that have caused me to have OCD including it being hereditory, I stongly believe PTSD is a leading source to why I have OCD and how people have treated me in the past that has made me the person I am today. Obviously some of the trauma is the loss of my parents and my brother but I also was subjected to physical and mental abuse. So my story is colourful to say the least.
I am passionate about the cause becasue I have been a life long sufferer and always keep up to date with ways to alleviate the symptoms aswell as helping others with motivation and inspiration, at the same time as helping myself.
OCD Is An Invisible Disability.
OCD Is An Invisible Disability and if you ask anyone who has got OCD would they want to trade for a normal life you will find everyone would agree including myself that OCD can be a living hell and would want the nightmare to end.
People who do not understand about OCD may be judgemental or may even mock a person. It is why its is so important to not let peoples opinions influence your way of thinking. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and at the end of the day it is their opinion not yours. It is your opinion that matters the most not someone elses.
One needs to be in right frame of mind to make changes to ones life and also to conquer OCD.
You have to retrain your brain that what happened, happened and that there is nothing you can do about it apart from move on.
You need to set goals and take each day as it comes.
Take each day day by day and make small steps, behavioural therapy teaches you that anyway.
OCD changes with our lives.
Once we find we are happy within ourselves, confident and secure our OCD will eventually subside. In the mean time talk with you GP about what types of medication they can prescribe to make the journey a bit easier.
For me one thing I have noticed is by experssing my thoughts in my online journal, I somehow can get whatever is ailing me at the time off my chest, so although I am not physically speaking with anyone, my readers who find value in the content I write will appreciate my comments.
You too can have your own journal it does not have to be online but a diary where you can monitor your good days and your bad and even compare your days with your GP or consultant.
For me my therapy is writing, it is like letting go of a demon. Obviously I have brainwashed myself that I have to perform things in a certain way otherwise it will play on my mind but can honestly say I do try to resist my compulsive urges as much as I can. It does not work all the time as I find I do cave in, but I cannot be criticised for not trying.
I know once I am in my happier place my OCD will be a thing of the past but its only been 30 years later that I have actually started to do something about it, before I was not in a position to but now I have an opportunity to learn, teach and heal.
Once you can admit to yourselfwhat your insecurities are you are one step closer to battling your illness.
For me it is a constant battle but I know where I am going with this and I may never be completly cured but once I am in a happier place I now I will be on the road to recovery.
At the moment I prefer to be a recluse and not allow anyone to enter my world. I am not ready to make that step especially with the FEAR Coronavirus Covid-19 Pandemic and Ido not want to contract the virus as it could potentially kill my daughter who has a very low immune system, secondly she will not be able to even take the vaccine as it is a live virus including myself.
I Am Staying In My Bubble, For the Forseeable Future!
Recommended Reading & Serotonin Chocolate Shop:
You Can Also Get a Boost of Serotonin In Chocolate.
Chocolate is linked to the neurotransmitter serotonin through a key compound that can be isolated from the chocolate bar itself: Tryptophan. Tryptophan is an amino acid found in small quantities in chocolate and is also the precursor for Serotonin.
The Domain Name www.germawareness.co.uk is for sale, anyone wishing to acquire this name should contact us in the first instance. The domain name is not developed and is simply pointing to this post. This domain could easily be made into a teaching website.
Germs are all around us and we would not be able to live without them.
But for sufferers of contamination OCD the thought that germs can potentially harm people, OCD sufferers are more vigilant and willavoidgerm contamination to safeguard themselves and others.
The wording ‘Germs’ refers to the microscopic bacteria, viruses, fungi, and protozoa that can cause disease. There are good germs and bad germs. The germs also know as (bacteria) help keep our digestive system in working order and keep harmful bad bacteria from moving in. Some bacteria are used to make medicines and vaccines. We also have good bacteria in our bodies to help fight bad bacteria. Scientists from the University of Georgia estimate the number of bacteria on our planet to be five million trillion. Most People Encounter Roughly 60,000 Germs per day and germs live all around us in the air, in soil and water, and on food, plants, and animals (including on and in our bodies).
With an OCD germ contamination sufferer, it is not always about washing and about keeping things clean, it may be more to do with the intrusive thought and the prevention of germ cross-contamination and the spread of germs.
An OCD germ contamination sufferermay avoid touching things that have not been disinfected or sterile, as everything that has been touched by someone else and not disinfected could possibly carry harmful germs.
An OCD germ contamination sufferer will avoid touching things that have been touched by someone else without taking measures to eliminate the possibility of cross-contamination. This may include touching door handles with tissue, elbow, or gloves which could also include toilet seats, handles, and sink taps.
Anything that has been touched by another person potentially could have harmful bacteria including Door Handles, Public Chairs, ATM machines, Petrol Station filling up Nozzles and Card Machines,
When shopping several people may have handled a product before you, these people may be the ones that stack shelves with products that have been shipped from warehouses where other people have touched the same item before it ends up in your shopping basket and then in your home.
Imagine from the factory the item has come from may have been packed by the person (1) and then shipped by another person (2), collected by another person (3) and then stacked by another person (4), with a total of four or more people handling the same item you have just purchased. This is just an example but once a product leaves a factory and goes on its journey it will be handled by multiple people.
Let’s face it people are not doing as they are told and are not maintaining social distancing and are basically spreading germs.
If we all did as we were told and we all disinfected everything and stayed our distance the virus would be under control but it’s not.
For people especially teenagers who won’t be told, try keeping two teenagers madly in love apart. Intermingling is happening under the radar and until a vaccine is found this virus will continue to persist. Imagine two people living apart who are in a relationship, teenagers and adults alike how do you stop them from meeting up, you can’t and you won’t? Also, try keeping bored teenagers under lockdown. You would literally have to tag everybody. Maybe that is their master plan but I am not going to go into conspiracy theories on here right now. 🙂
For me, social distancing is second nature, and especially now my social anxiety is increased, and am even reluctant to even meet and greet the delivery drivers let alone anyone else. I am at arm’s length when I have to collect a parcel and make them put it down on a wall until they are at a safe distance away from me.
I suffer from germ contamination OCD and the fear of touching things that have been touched by someone else without being disinfected is not incomprehensible to me. Hence I will avoid touching things and will handle items in a safe manner including removing all outer packaging carefully. The same goes for envelopes imagine how many people have touched that envelope before you and the saliva that stuck it down. How many letters have you opened that could be licked by someone. Imagine the tons of post that is being mailed worldwide on a daily basis. How come no one has thought about this other than me? Licking envelopes and stamps is the equivalent of sending anthrax in the post.
Nothing gets touched with my bare hands that have not to be made sterileor disinfected. I get it I cannot disinfect everything around me and would have to live in a sterile bubble if that was the case, but I try to maintain a sterile environment as much as possible.
I use over 1000 pairs of disposable gloves per month and about 6 liters of Dettol Antiseptic Disinfectant Liquid. That’s a small penance to pay if you want to keep your family safe.
Not everything can be disinfected so be careful how you sanitize things and remember if you have been out in public the chance of cross-contamination on your garments is slightly higher hence garments need to be washed at high temperatures to kill germs, as most professionals are suggesting for facemasks. However washing clothes at high temperatures potentially can damage the garments, such as shrinkage, color bleed so an alternative method of using Dettol Antibacterial Laundry Cleanser helps to kill 99.9%% of germs at low temperature in your washing machine. I personally use the traditional Dettol Antiseptic Disinfectant (brown colored liquid), the downside to this my clothes do not come out smelling of flowers but I do believe Dettol has a Lavender and Orange oil Disinfectant that you can use for laundry use.
**Always read the small print on the back of the packaging to see if it suits your purpose.
Due to the coronavirus pandemic, I am even more careful what I touch and am more vigilant especially after I had intrusive thoughts about a takeout that was made up by someone else. I fought my thoughts but started to feel uneasy when I developed a mild sore throat which has now eased off thankfully. But the paranoia started to set in and it took some doing to overcome these unwanted thoughts.
Being labeled a germaphobe is not a laughing matter and one should not put labels on people. OCD is a mental health disorder and in my case, it has fluctuated since this Covid-19 Pandemic.
If you are to use disposable gloves only use them once and then immediately replace them with a fresh pair (They are for one use only).
Always get rid of disposable masks carefully and never wear any mask twice, even if it is a washable cloth mask, as the pathogens could have landed on your masks whilst you were out (if you can’t see them how do you know they are not there).
Never share anything with another person, such as pens, keyboards, etc without disinfecting them first.
Don’t worry about what people think, they should be more understandable especially in this present climate.
Always maintain social distancing and in the case of people you work with where you cannot maintain social distancing do not shake hands with them, especially if you do not want to whip out the hand sanitizer straight after, as not to offend the individual and always wear your masks wherever possible and disinfect everything prior to using.
If anything do fist bumps, air hugs & kisses.
Germs could be on surfaces avoid touching public surfaces wherever possible and disinfect things before touching them.
Be vigilant of your environment and where pathogens can land on surfaces if they are airborne.
My recommendations for protecting yourselves and the products I use are as follows:
Do take a moment to watch the videos and the link I have attached to give you a better understanding of Germ Contamination.
If you found this post helpful please share and leave a comment. If you are finding things overwhelming right now and simply want to chat just send me a message.
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