Student Stress, Mental Health

🔊 Listen to Post

Disclaimer: This article is for general information and education only and does not constitute legal advice. If you need advice about your specific situation, consider speaking to your university disability support service, students’ union advice centre, or a qualified adviser/solicitor.

When feedback feels scary

Assessment feedback is meant to guide improvement, but for many students, especially those managing anxiety, OCD, trauma, depression, autism/ADHD, or chronic illness, it can trigger a threat response: fear of judgment, fear of “getting it wrong again,” and fear of having to explain yourself on the spot.

That fear can intensify when the only route offered is a phone call or live chat, because real-time conversations can feel like an exam in themselves: you’re processing emotions and information and social pressure all at once.

For students who are also running a business, studying, and caregiving, the cognitive load becomes even heavier. Decision fatigue, time pressure, interrupted sleep, and constant “task-switching” can push the nervous system into overwhelm, making communication demands (especially calls) feel unmanageable.

Why phone calls and live chat can be harder than email

When you read something, you control the pace. You can re-read, highlight, take breaks, and come back later. With a phone call or live chat, information can feel like it’s “disappearing” as it arrives, particularly if you’re anxious, dissociating, experiencing intrusive thoughts, or struggling with concentration.

What the research says about listening vs reading

A common “learning pyramid” claim says people remember fixed percentages (e.g., “10% of what we read, 20% of what we hear”). That claim is widely regarded as unsupported and misleading. Research discussing this specifically notes there’s no solid evidence for those neat percentages and ordering.

More useful (and evidence-based) is this: comprehension can be similar across text and audio, but text can support better retention in some contexts because you can revisit it. For example, one study found comprehension accuracy was very similar for text vs audio (around the mid-50% range), and another study reported higher retention with text even when comprehension was similar.

Other research also finds that, under controlled conditions, retention can be comparable across reading and listening at follow-up, suggesting the real-world difference often comes down to attention, stress, environment, and the ability to review the information, rather than audio being inherently “worse.”

Bottom line: if anxiety or disability affects working memory, processing speed, or social communication, written feedback (or a transcript/summary) is often the most accessible format.

Signs you’re overwhelmed (and why it matters)

You might be in overload if you notice:

• Racing thoughts, nausea, sweating, or dread before opening feedback
• Avoidance (“I’ll deal with it later”) that turns into panic
• Blanking on the call, forgetting the questions you prepared
• Feeling emotionally flooded, then replaying the conversation for days
• Shutdown, tears, irritability, or insomnia after tutor contact

These aren’t character flaws. They’re common stress responses, especially when you’re carrying multiple responsibilities.

Coping strategies that actually help (without forcing yourself through panic)

1) Make feedback “low threat.”

• Read it once only. Stop.
• Take a 10–20 minute break (walk, tea, shower, stretch).
• Re-read with a highlighter: Strengths / Fixes / Questions.

2) Use a “questions bank” template

Copy/paste this into a notes app:

• What I think the tutor means:
• What I’m unsure about:
• One example of how I could improve next time:
• My question (written clearly in one sentence):

This reduces the pressure to think in real time.

3) Choose asynchronous communication first

If calls trigger panic, start with:

• Email
• Your university messaging system
• A written set of questions
• Asking for a written clarification of the marking criteria

This is not being difficult; this is using an accessible channel.

4) Ask for a written summary if a call is unavoidable

If a conversation must happen, request:

• The key points in writing afterwards, or
• Permission to record (if policy allows), or
• A transcript/notes, or
• A support person is present

5) Reduce “activation” right before contact

30–60 minutes before:

• No caffeine if it spikes anxiety
• Slow breathing (4 seconds in, 6 seconds out for 3–5 minutes)
• Write your “opening line” and read it verbatim if needed
• Keep water nearby and sit comfortably (grounding matters)

Reasonable adjustments when a tutor insists on a phone call

Your rights in plain English (UK higher education)

Universities and colleges have a legal duty under the Equality Act 2010 to make reasonable adjustments, so disabled students are not placed at a substantial disadvantage.

This can include changes to policies/practices and providing support in alternative formats (e.g., written communication instead of phone calls where phone calls create a disadvantage).

The Office for Students also sets expectations and guidance around disabled student support and reasonable adjustments.
And sector good-practice guidance (e.g., OIA) explains the legal landscape and how to remove obstacles to learning.

What “reasonable” can look like for feedback anxiety / telephobia

Examples you can request:

• Feedback clarification by email (or within the VLE) instead of phone/live chat
• Extra time to respond to feedback questions (not “on the spot”)
• Bullet-point summary of call outcomes in writing
• One agreed method of contact (e.g., email only)
• Option to communicate via the disability support team as an intermediary
• Option to have a supporter present
• Scheduling within a narrow window, not open-ended

If the tutor knows you’re disabled and still insists

If a tutor insists on a format that worsens your disability-related symptoms without a good reason, it can raise issues around failure to make reasonable adjustments and/or unfavourable treatment arising from disability (depending on the facts).

A practical next step is to route the request through your university’s disability support service (or student support) so it’s formally logged and implemented consistently.

“Know your rights” mini box (copy/paste friendly)

Reasonable Adjustments: Quick Reminder (UK):
If a disability (including mental health conditions that have a substantial, long-term effect) puts you at a disadvantage, your university should take reasonable steps to remove that disadvantage. This can include providing communication in an accessible format, such as written feedback clarification, rather than requiring phone calls.

A short script you can use to request written communication

Subject: Reasonable adjustment request, assessment feedback communication

Message:
“Hello [Name], thanks for your offer to discuss my feedback. Because of my disability, real-time communication (phone/live chat) significantly increases my anxiety and affects my ability to process and retain information. As a reasonable adjustment, please could we handle feedback queries via email (or written messages in the VLE), and could you summarise any key action points in writing? I’ll send my questions in a numbered list to make it easy to respond. Thank you.”

Policy reform recommendation (education + wellbeing)

Universities reduce student distress when they normalise accessible feedback channels by default, e.g., written clarification options, structured feedback templates, and “you can choose email instead of calls” policies, rather than forcing disabled students to repeatedly justify their needs. This improves equality of opportunity and reduces escalation into complaints processes.

Further Reading & Resources

• https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/mental-health-wales/
• https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/mental-health-support/
• https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/stress-anxiety-and-low-mood/
• https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/depression/
• https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/imposter-syndrome/
• https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/students-support/
• https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/category/open-university/
• https://disabledentrepreneur.uk/useful-links-2/
• worksheet30-equality_act_2010_factsheet.pdf