Understanding OCD: Breaking Down Misconceptions

Disclaimer: This article is for educational purposes only and is based on lived experience and research. It is not a substitute for medical or psychiatric advice. If you or someone you know is struggling with OCD or trauma, please seek help from a qualified mental health professional.

Living With OCD Is Not a Choice – It’s a Lifelong Challenge

What is OCD?

Obsessive–Compulsive Disorder (OCD) is a recognised mental health condition where individuals experience persistent, intrusive thoughts (obsessions) and repetitive behaviours or mental rituals (compulsions) that they feel driven to perform. Contrary to stereotypes, OCD is not about being “overly tidy” or “a bit fussy.” It is a disorder rooted in anxiety, trauma, and often neurobiological imbalances.

People with OCD don’t “choose” their thoughts or compulsions. Telling someone to “just get over it” is dismissive, harmful, and perpetuates ableist attitudes. If someone has lived with OCD for decades and tried all known interventions, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), medication, counseling, and even alternative therapies such as hypnosis, it is unjust to boil their suffering down to a fad.

The Fear and Avoidance Cycle

For many sufferers, OCD is tied to fear: fear of contamination, fear of harm, fear of loss, fear of moral failure. These fears create an overwhelming sense of responsibility to act, to prevent disaster, or to neutralise intrusive thoughts.

When the fear is too much, avoidance becomes a coping mechanism. People may retreat into their own “safe world” where triggers are minimised. This retreat is not laziness or weakness; it is survival.

Types of OCD

OCD manifests in different forms. Common types include:

Contamination OCD: fear of germs, illness, or environmental hazards, leading to cleaning, washing, or avoidance behaviours. )
Checking OCD: repeatedly checking locks, appliances, or personal safety.
Harm OCD: intrusive thoughts about harming oneself or others, despite having no intention of acting on them.
Symmetry/Ordering OCD: needing things to be in perfect alignment or order.
Intrusive Thoughts OCD: distressing, unwanted thoughts, often of a violent, sexual, or blasphemous nature.
Existential OCD: obsessive rumination on philosophical or spiritual questions.
Relationship OCD: doubts about relationships, fidelity, or one’s own feelings.
Pure O: intrusive thoughts without outward compulsions, but with intense internal mental rituals.

Trauma and OCD

Trauma plays a significant role in the onset and worsening of OCD. A person who has been through multiple traumas carries scars that can trigger or deepen mental illness. When trauma overlaps with OCD, the symptoms can become more resistant to treatment.

The Editor’s Story – A Life Shaped by Trauma

The editor of this article has lived with OCD for more than 40 years, shaped and deepened by a series of life events:

Childhood bullying and racial abuse (1968–1979): From as young as five years old, she endured verbal and physical abuse, being cornered, spat on, and threatened: experiences that left deep psychological scars.
Heartbreak (1984): A devastating relationship breakup marked the beginning of a downward spiral in her mental health.
Sexual assault (1992): An assault at a holiday resort left lasting trauma.
Marital and financial collapse (2001): Following the breakdown of a marriage and her husband’s failed business, she was left as the financial scapegoat.
Bereavement (2004–2007): The loss of both parents in close succession intensified grief and instability.
Loss of her brother (2011): Another devastating bereavement that deepened isolation.
Domestic violence (2012): She endured both physical and emotional abuse at the hands of a Eastern European migrant partner.
Invasion of property (2015): While on holiday, an intruder used her daughter’s keys that he stole to enter her home and steal valuables and business assets. The insurance company refused coverage, compounding the trauma, because it was not a break-in.
Police raid (2016): After a neighbour purchased a stolen MacBook that “pinged” to her address (not the exact location), her home was raided, causing humiliation and distress.
Loss of her ex-husband (2021): His passing left her without closure.

Each of these events compounded her OCD, fuelling fear, avoidance, hypervigilance, and distrust. Living with such a burden for decades is not something one can simply “snap out of.”

The Impact on Quality of Life

OCD can severely reduce quality of life. It is exhausting, time-consuming, and isolating. It interferes with daily activities, relationships, education, and work. Long-term sufferers often describe OCD as a prison of the mind. To trivialise this is cruel and perpetuates stigma.

Why Ableist Attitudes Must Stop

When people dismiss OCD as “just worrying too much” or imply it can be “gotten over,” they demonstrate ableist thinking. Such attitudes fail to respect the lived experience of sufferers and can deepen shame, isolation, and despair.

Instead, society must shift towards empathy. If you are not medically trained, you should not draw conclusions about another person’s disorder.

How You Can Help Someone With OCD

Supporting someone with OCD does not mean trying to “fix” them. It means respecting their boundaries and creating an environment where they feel safe. Here are ways to help:

Listen without judgment: let them share their struggles without minimising.
Avoid forcing exposure: don’t push them into feared situations; therapy must be guided by professionals.
Be patient: recovery is not linear.
Respect their safe space: if they need distance, allow it.
Educate yourself: learn about OCD to better understand their world.
Offer practical help: with errands, appointments, or tasks when OCD is overwhelming.
Check in gently: a message of support can mean a lot.
Drop assumptions: don’t claim they are exaggerating, lazy, or “making it up.”
Encourage professional support, but don’t pressure if they feel exhausted from failed interventions.
Think twice before you speak: words can either harm or heal.

Conclusion

OCD is not a fad. It is not a choice. It is not something you can “get over” after 40 years of living with trauma and failed interventions. It is a debilitating disorder that demands compassion, patience, and understanding. It is important to recognise that OCD is not a phobia. For example, when someone has contamination OCD, it should not be trivialised or labelled as “germ phobia.” Unlike a simple phobia, which centres around a single fear and avoidance response, OCD often combines contamination fears with intrusive thoughts, mental rituals, and compulsions that go far beyond avoiding germs. The disorder is complex, and contamination OCD may overlap with fears of harm, moral responsibility, or catastrophic consequences if compulsions are not performed. Reducing OCD to a “phobia” not only misrepresents the condition but also undermines the seriousness of the distress it causes. Instead of minimising or dismissing, people must learn to respect boundaries, stop perpetuating ableist views, and support sufferers in creating a safe world where healing is possible.