Renata’s Guide On Self Care: Emphasis On Social Hierarchy Fueling Condescension

Understanding the Link Between Status and Superiority Complexes

Introduction:

Renata, the author of this article, has endured her fair share of condescending and patronizing remarks throughout her life. Rather than allowing these experiences to break her spirit, she has renewed her faith, asking God to forgive those who seek to undermine her—whether they are individuals who have made empty promises only to stonewall her or those who judge her without truly knowing who she is. In response, Renata has built her brand, using her voice to write about empowerment, law, and mental health. As an advocate for human rights and a dedicated student on the path to becoming a human rights lawyer, she refuses to be diminished by social hierarchies. Instead, she channels her experiences into meaningful work, striving to uplift others who face similar struggles.

Social hierarchy is an inherent aspect of human interaction, where individuals or groups hold varying levels of power, status, and influence. Unfortunately, this structure often fosters condescension, where those in positions of authority treat those beneath them with disdain. This guide explores why social hierarchy breeds condescending behavior, using examples from government agencies like the Department for Work and Pensions (DWP), corporate structures, and beyond.

1. Government and Benefits Claimants

Government institutions, particularly the DWP, operate with an embedded power imbalance. Individuals claiming benefits, especially those with disabilities, often find themselves treated as burdens rather than citizens deserving of support.

This manifests in ways such as:

Dehumanizing Processes: Benefits assessments often ignore the lived experiences of disabled individuals, reducing them to tick-box criteria.
Assumption of Fraud: Many claimants are treated with suspicion, as if they are dishonest rather than genuinely in need.
Lack of Empathy: Communication from government officials can be cold, dismissive, and bureaucratic, reinforcing the idea that claimants are beneath them.

2. Landlords, Tenants and Homeowner Neighbours

The relationship between landlords and tenants, or homeowners and their neighbors, is another example of social hierarchy fostering condescension. Landlords and homeowners often assert dominance over tenants or neighbors, leveraging their property ownership and financial status to reinforce a perceived position of superiority.

This leads to:

Dismissive Attitudes: Some landlords ignore tenant concerns, particularly regarding repairs and living conditions.
Exploitation: Raising rents unfairly or implementing harsh lease terms without tenant input.
Stereotyping: Tenants on housing benefits or with lower incomes are often seen as unreliable, facing discrimination in rental applications.
Keeping Up with the Joneses: Homeownership vs. Renting: In many communities, homeownership is seen as a status symbol, creating a divide between homeowners and renters. The phrase “keeping up with the Joneses” reflects the societal pressure to maintain appearances and material success. Neighbours who own their homes may look down on renters, perceiving them as financially unstable or transient. This condescension can manifest in subtle ways—exclusion from social circles, dismissive attitudes, or even assumptions about a renter’s character or lifestyle. The reality, however, is that renting can be a strategic choice, offering flexibility and financial freedom. Yet, the ingrained social hierarchy often positions homeowners as superior, reinforcing unnecessary stigma around renting.

3. Corporate Structures: CEOs and Employees

In the corporate world, the higher up one is in the hierarchy, the more detached they may become from lower-level employees.

This can result in:

Disregard for Well-being: CEOs may push unrealistic workloads on employees without considering mental health or work-life balance.
Communication Barriers: Executives may look down on lower-level workers, failing to acknowledge their contributions.
Inequitable Pay Structures: A stark wage gap often exists, with CEOs earning exponentially more than their staff, despite workers generating the actual value for the company.

4. Healthcare Professionals and Patients

In medical settings, doctors and healthcare providers hold authority over patients, sometimes leading to patronizing attitudes.

This is particularly evident in:

Dismissing Patient Concerns: Patients, especially women and those with chronic illnesses, may not be taken seriously.
Lack of Transparency: Medical professionals may withhold information or assume patients cannot comprehend complex medical terms.
Rushed Consultations: Many doctors prioritize efficiency over patient comfort, making individuals feel like numbers rather than humans.

5. Academia: Professors and Students

Education is another area where hierarchy dictates treatment. Professors, lecturers, and tutors often hold superior status over students, sometimes leading to:

Condescending Feedback: Harsh criticism that demoralizes rather than educates.
Lack of Support: Some educators dismiss student struggles, assuming they must “just work harder.”
Gatekeeping Knowledge: Professors may be reluctant to acknowledge student insights, maintaining an air of intellectual superiority.

6. Retail and Service Industry: Customers vs. Workers

A unique reversal of hierarchy occurs in customer service roles, where consumers often treat workers as inferior.

This includes:

Entitlement: Customers demanding special treatment, ignoring store policies.
Verbal Abuse: Some patrons berate employees over minor inconveniences.
Lack of Respect: Service workers are often seen as expendable rather than skilled professionals providing essential services.

7. Friends, Family, and Social Circles: The Silent Judgment

Social hierarchy doesn’t just manifest in formal settings—it also exists within personal relationships. Friends, family members, and community figures may adopt a condescending attitude if they believe their lifestyle, career, or financial status is superior to yours. This can be particularly evident in gatherings where conversations revolve around job promotions, homeownership, luxury purchases, or exotic vacations.

Some individuals may subtly (or overtly) belittle those they perceive as less successful, offering unsolicited advice, making backhanded compliments, or excluding them from certain social activities. Family members might pressure individuals to meet societal expectations, equating material wealth with personal worth. In close-knit communities, those who do not conform to the expected standards—whether it be career success, marriage, or financial stability—may face gossip, judgment, or social exclusion.

This condescension often stems from insecurity, societal conditioning, or the need to validate one’s own choices by looking down on others. However, true success is subjective, and genuine relationships should be based on mutual respect rather than social ranking.

Dealing with Condescending and Patronizing People: How to Respond and What It Says About Them

What Can Be Done?

Policy Changes: Governments must ensure fair treatment for benefits claimants and tenants.
Corporate Responsibility: Employers should foster inclusive, respectful workplaces.
Awareness Campaigns: Educating people about systemic biases can reduce condescension.
Legal Protections: Stronger tenant, worker, and patient rights can help balance power dynamics.

By addressing these imbalances, we can create a society where power does not equate to superiority, and respect is granted to all, regardless of their place in the hierarchy.

Encountering condescending or patronizing individuals can be frustrating and even damaging to one’s confidence. Whether it happens in the workplace, among family, or in social settings, dismissive attitudes often reveal more about the person delivering them than the one receiving them. Understanding why people behave this way and how to handle it can help you maintain your composure and self-respect.

Why People Are Condescending or Patronizing

People who belittle others often do so for several reasons:

Insecurity: Many condescending individuals mask their own insecurities by projecting superiority. They may feel inadequate and overcompensate by undermining others.
Ego and Power Trips: Some people enjoy feeling dominant in conversations or relationships, using belittling language to assert control.
Lack of Emotional Intelligence: A person may be unaware that their tone or language comes across as patronizing, particularly if they have always communicated this way.
Social Conditioning: Society often reinforces hierarchy, leading some to believe they are inherently superior based on status, wealth, or job title.
Envy or Resentment: Sometimes, patronizing behavior is a subtle form of jealousy. Rather than openly acknowledging admiration, a person might undermine you to feel better about themselves.

How to Handle a Condescending or Patronizing Person

Stay Calm and Composed
Do not let their attitude provoke an emotional reaction. Keeping your cool gives you control over the situation and prevents them from gaining satisfaction from their behavior.
Call It Out (If Appropriate)
If the situation allows, directly but politely address their behavior. For example, you might say, “I appreciate your input, but I don’t need to be spoken to in that way.” This sets boundaries without escalating conflict.
Use Assertive Communication
Responding in a confident, composed manner can subtly disarm condescension. Use direct, clear language to show that you are not intimidated. Example: “I understand what you’re saying, but I have my own perspective on this.”
Redirect the Conversation
If calling it out directly is not an option, steer the conversation away from their patronizing tone by shifting focus to facts, mutual interests, or neutral topics.
Refuse to Engage in Their Game
Some people patronize others just to provoke a reaction. Not giving them the response they seek denies them the satisfaction they crave.
Use Humor to Diffuse the Situation
If appropriate, light sarcasm or humor can highlight their behavior without direct confrontation. Example: If someone says, “Oh, that’s adorable that you think that way,” you might reply, “I do try to keep my thoughts as adorable as possible.”
Know When to Walk Away
Some people will not change, no matter how you respond. If their behavior is persistent and toxic, disengaging completely may be the best option.

Final Thoughts: What It Really Says About Them

Understanding why social hierarchy breeds condescension is the first step in challenging it. Whether in government, housing, business, healthcare, or daily interactions, fostering empathy and respect is crucial. No one deserves to be treated as “less than” due to their position in society. Advocacy, legal protections, and cultural shifts toward equality can help dismantle these damaging dynamics, ensuring dignity for all.

A condescending or patronizing attitude is rarely a reflection of your worth—it is a projection of their own shortcomings. People who feel the need to talk down to others often struggle with self-worth, emotional intelligence, or a deep-seated need for validation. Recognizing this can help you detach emotionally from their words and maintain your confidence.

Instead of allowing their behavior to undermine you, use it as a reminder of your own strength. You don’t need to prove your worth to those who seek to diminish it. True confidence comes from knowing who you are, regardless of how others perceive you.