Category: Barriers

Ableism: Challenging Assumptions About Disability

September 14, 2024 / Zena M / 0 Comments

Brown and Cream Image Of a Typewriter With The Wording Disability Discrimination Text On Typed On Typewriter Paper. Image Credit: PhotoFunia.com Category Vintage Typewriter — Image Description: Brown and Cream Image Of a Typewriter With The Wording Disability Discrimination Text On Typed On Typewriter Paper. **Image Credit:** PhotoFunia.com **Category:** Vintage Typewriter

Assuming a Person Does Not Have A Disability Because They Look Visually Normal

Ableism, a form of discrimination that favours able-bodied individuals, often stems from misconceptions and stereotypes about disabilities. One of the most pervasive assumptions is that a person pushing a wheelchair must be able-bodied, while the person sitting in it must be disabled. This mindset not only simplifies the diverse experiences of people with disabilities but also perpetuates harmful attitudes that marginalize those who don’t fit the conventional image of disability.

Why Someone Might Push a Wheelchair Instead of Sitting in It

Disability is not a one-size-fits-all experience. Many people who use wheelchairs can stand or walk short distances, and pushing a wheelchair instead of sitting in it could be due to a variety of reasons, such as:

Chronic Pain or Fatigue Management: Some people with disabilities, such as multiple sclerosis or rheumatoid arthritis, may alternate between walking and using a wheelchair to manage pain or conserve energy. Pushing their chair allows them to control their mobility based on how they feel at any given moment.
Intermittent Disabilities: Certain conditions, like POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), cause symptoms that fluctuate throughout the day. Individuals may stand and push their wheelchair when they feel stable, but sit when they need extra support.
Rehabilitation and Physical Therapy: People recovering from injuries or surgery might use a wheelchair as part of their rehabilitation. They may walk and push the chair as part of their therapy but need it nearby when they tire.
Mental Health Conditions: Some mental health conditions, such as anxiety or PTSD, may make sitting in a wheelchair uncomfortable due to sensory issues, the need for movement, or a desire to feel in control. Pushing the chair can provide a sense of security while still having it available for use.
Balance and Stability: Some individuals may have balance or coordination issues that make walking challenging but not impossible. They push their wheelchairs for extra stability and support, using it as a walking aid.
Accessibility and Autonomy: For those who can walk but have difficulty navigating long distances, uneven terrain, or crowded spaces, a wheelchair can be a helpful tool to maintain autonomy. Pushing their chair instead of sitting may be a way to keep it close and available.

The Problem with Assumptions: A Form of Ableism

Ableism often arises from assumptions about what disability “looks like.” Seeing someone pushing a wheelchair instead of sitting in it might lead others to assume there is nothing wrong with the person. This kind of judgment overlooks the invisible or less obvious aspects of many disabilities.

Below are examples of ableism and how these assumptions can manifest:

Questioning Disability Status: Comments like “You don’t look disabled” or “Why aren’t you sitting in the chair?” dismiss the person’s lived experience and imply that they need to prove their disability.
Invalidating Invisible Disabilities: People with chronic pain, mental health conditions, or other non-visible disabilities often face skepticism, especially when their needs fluctuate. Assuming someone must always be seated in a wheelchair to be disabled ignores these realities.
Denial of Accommodation Needs: If someone appears “normal” at first glance, they may be denied necessary accommodations or assistance, such as accessible parking or priority seating, which can be detrimental to their health and well-being.
Stigma and Judgment: Ableism can lead to unwarranted judgments, like assuming someone is lazy or seeking attention if they occasionally use mobility aids. This stigma can discourage people from using the tools they need to manage their conditions.
Exclusion from Accessibility Features: Public spaces and services often cater only to visible disabilities, excluding those whose needs aren’t immediately apparent. This oversight can lead to further marginalization and exclusion.

Why Assumptions About Disability Are Harmful

Ableism thrives on assumptions, often fueled by the belief that disability must be visible to be valid. This mentality:

Erases Individual Experiences: No two disabilities are alike. By assuming all disabilities are apparent, we erase the unique and diverse experiences of individuals who don’t fit the traditional image of what disability looks like.
Creates Barriers to Access: When people assume there is nothing wrong with someone based on appearance alone, they may withhold support, deny access to accommodations, or treat the person dismissively.
Perpetuates Stereotypes: Stereotypes about disability can limit opportunities for employment, social inclusion, and personal relationships, creating a society that is less inclusive and more judgmental.
Triggers Anxiety and Self-Doubt: Constantly having to justify one’s disability can lead to anxiety, self-doubt, and reluctance to seek help or use mobility aids when needed.

Understanding Invisible Diseases: Breaking the Stigma of Unseen Disabilities

Invisible diseases—also known as invisible disabilities—are conditions that significantly impair a person’s daily life but are not immediately apparent to others. Unlike visible disabilities, these conditions often go unnoticed, leading to misunderstanding, stigma, and judgment from those who assume that someone “looks healthy” or “normal.” Unfortunately, this misconception can cause undue stress for people with invisible illnesses, particularly in situations where they require accommodations like accessible parking.

The Struggle of Invisible Diseases

People living with invisible diseases face unique challenges. Since their symptoms are not visible, others may question the legitimacy of their condition, make insensitive remarks, or assume they are faking their disability. These assumptions lead to ableism and can cause feelings of isolation, anxiety, and frustration for those affected.

A common scenario where this occurs is in accessible parking (Blue Badge parking in the UK). Individuals with invisible disabilities often need accessible parking spaces due to mobility issues, chronic pain, or fatigue, even though their disabilities may not be outwardly apparent. This can cause conflict or judgment from others who expect to see someone with a visible disability, such as the use of a wheelchair or walking aid.

Blue Badge Parking: A Vital Resource for People with Invisible Disabilities

The Blue Badge scheme allows people with severe mobility issues to park closer to their destination, providing easier access to services and public spaces. While many assume that these spaces are only for individuals with visible disabilities, the reality is that people with a wide range of invisible illnesses also qualify for a Blue Badge.

For someone with an invisible disease, parking closer to their destination may be essential to avoid excessive fatigue, manage chronic pain, or reduce symptoms of dizziness or breathlessness. However, when others see someone using a Blue Badge but not displaying a visible disability, they may react with hostility, assuming the person is abusing the system. Unfortunately, these reactions stem from ignorance and perpetuate stigma around invisible disabilities.

Examples of Invisible Diseases

Invisible diseases come in many forms, including physical, neurological, and psychological conditions. Below are 30 examples of invisible diseases, highlighting the broad range of illnesses that can affect someone’s daily life without being immediately noticeable to others:

Fibromyalgia – A chronic condition characterized by widespread pain, fatigue, and cognitive issues.
Chronic Fatigue Syndrome (CFS/ME) – Causes extreme fatigue that doesn’t improve with rest and worsens with physical or mental activity.
Lupus – An autoimmune disease that can cause joint pain, fatigue, and organ damage.
Multiple Sclerosis (MS) – A neurological condition that affects the brain and spinal cord, causing fatigue, pain, and mobility issues.
Crohn’s Disease – A type of inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) that causes abdominal pain, diarrhea, and malnutrition.
Ulcerative Colitis – Another form of IBD that causes inflammation and ulcers in the colon and rectum.
Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS) – A gastrointestinal disorder that causes pain, bloating, diarrhea, or constipation.
Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome (EDS) – A group of connective tissue disorders that cause joint hypermobility, chronic pain, and skin fragility.
Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS) – A condition that affects blood flow, causing dizziness, fainting, and rapid heart rate upon standing.
Chronic Migraine – Severe, recurrent headaches that can cause sensitivity to light, sound, and nausea.
Celiac Disease – An autoimmune disorder triggered by gluten that affects the small intestine, causing digestive issues and malabsorption of nutrients.
Rheumatoid Arthritis (RA) – An autoimmune condition that causes painful inflammation in the joints and can affect mobility.
Osteoarthritis – A degenerative joint disease causing pain, swelling, and reduced range of motion.
Asthma – A respiratory condition that can cause breathlessness, coughing, and wheezing.
COPD (Chronic Obstructive Pulmonary Disease) – A group of lung diseases that block airflow and make breathing difficult.
Ankylosing Spondylitis – A type of arthritis that affects the spine, causing pain and stiffness.
Epilepsy – A neurological disorder that causes recurrent seizures, which are not always visible.
Myasthenia Gravis – A neuromuscular disorder that causes weakness in the skeletal muscles.
Lyme Disease – An infection that can cause fatigue, joint pain, and neurological issues.
Meniere’s Disease – An inner ear disorder that causes dizziness, hearing loss, and tinnitus.
Endometriosis – A condition where tissue similar to the lining inside the uterus grows outside of it, causing chronic pain.
Dysautonomia – A disorder of the autonomic nervous system, which can affect heart rate, blood pressure, and digestion.
Interstitial Cystitis – A chronic condition that causes bladder pressure and pain.
Psoriatic Arthritis – An inflammatory arthritis associated with psoriasis that affects the joints and skin.
Cerebral Atrophy – A condition that causes the loss of brain cells and can affect memory, movement, and cognition.
Hyperthyroidism/Hypothyroidism – Disorders of the thyroid gland that can cause fatigue, weight changes, and mood swings.
Depression – A mental health disorder that causes persistent feelings of sadness, fatigue, and loss of interest.
Anxiety Disorders – Conditions that cause excessive worry, fear, and physical symptoms like rapid heartbeat and dizziness.
PTSD (Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder) – A mental health condition triggered by traumatic events, leading to flashbacks, anxiety, and emotional numbness.
Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) – A developmental condition affecting communication and behavior, often without visible signs.

Judgment and Misunderstanding: The Real-World Impact

When someone with an invisible disability uses a Blue Badge parking spot, they may be subjected to harsh looks, unsolicited comments, or outright confrontations. These reactions can be disheartening and stressful, especially for someone already dealing with the daily challenges of managing their condition.

Here’s why some people react this way:

Lack of Awareness: Many people simply don’t understand that not all disabilities are visible. They associate disability with wheelchairs, crutches, or other physical aids, ignoring the existence of invisible diseases.
Entitlement and Anger: Some individuals feel entitled to question others, believing that only those who meet their idea of a “real disability” should use accessible parking.
Cultural Stereotypes: Society has long held ableist views, reinforcing the belief that people must look visibly unwell to be considered disabled.

Combatting Stigma and Educating the Public

To combat this ignorance, it’s important to spread awareness about invisible disabilities and the challenges faced by those living with them. Educating the public about the vast spectrum of disabilities will foster understanding and reduce the stigma around accommodations like Blue Badge parking.

People should understand that:

Disability is not always visible: Someone may look “healthy” but still deal with debilitating symptoms that require assistance.
Not all disabilities involve mobility issues: Chronic fatigue, pain, respiratory conditions, and neurological issues may not affect someone’s ability to walk short distances but still warrant the use of accessible parking.
Judgment hurts: Criticizing or confronting someone based on their appearance can cause emotional harm and worsen the psychological effects of living with a chronic illness.

Conclusion

Invisible diseases affect millions of people worldwide, and they deserve the same respect and understanding as those with visible disabilities. Blue Badge parking is a critical accommodation that helps individuals with mobility limitations, whether visible or invisible, navigate the world with dignity and independence. By challenging assumptions and promoting empathy, we can create a more inclusive society that recognizes the diverse and complex realities of disability.

Understanding and challenging ableism begins with acknowledging that disability is not always visible. By questioning our assumptions, we create a more inclusive and empathetic society where people with disabilities are seen, respected, and accommodated based on their individual needs—not their appearance. Whether someone is pushing a wheelchair or sitting in it, their disability is valid, and their needs are real. It’s time we all do better to recognize and support the diverse experiences of people with disabilities.

This happened to me yesterday when I heard a customer voicing her opinion about another customer pushing a wheelchair rather than sitting in it and asking the question” So what disabilities do your groceries have, that you need to push a wheelchair”? I wanted to say something considering I suffer from an invisible disease (MS), but I have learned only to voice my opinion via a keyboard and avoid the onset of an argument if just in case the other person does not agree with you.

Can You Prolong an Elderly Person’s Life Through Emotional Support?

August 21, 2024 / Editor / 2 Comments

Image of a Young Hand Holding an Elderly Hand. Hands Young and Old — **Image Description:** A Young Hand Holding an Elderly Hand. **Image Credit: Pixabay.com**

Can You Prolong an Elderly Person’s Life Through Emotional Support, And The Guilt and Regret If You Don’t?

As we age, our needs evolve, and the focus often shifts from purely physical health to emotional well-being. Many studies suggest that emotional support can significantly impact the quality and duration of life, particularly for elderly individuals. Through my own experience, I explore the relationship between emotional support and longevity, highlighting how nurturing emotional connections can lead to improved health outcomes for seniors.

Understanding Emotional Support

Emotional support encompasses various forms of care that provide comfort, empathy, and reassurance to individuals. It can come from family, friends, caregivers, or even pets. The essential elements of emotional support include:

Listening: Providing a safe space for individuals to express their feelings and concerns.
Empathy: Understanding and validating their emotions.
Encouragement: Offering motivation and positive reinforcement.
Companionship: Reducing feelings of loneliness and isolation.

For elderly individuals, emotional support is crucial as they may face numerous challenges, including the loss of loved ones, chronic health conditions, and feelings of isolation.

The Link Between Emotional Support and Longevity

1. Mental Health Benefits

Emotional support has been linked to better mental health outcomes. Seniors who receive emotional support are less likely to experience depression and anxiety. Research indicates that positive mental health can reduce stress levels, lower blood pressure, and boost the immune system, contributing to a longer life. A study published in the Journal of the American Geriatrics Society found that older adults who reported high levels of emotional support had a significantly lower risk of mortality over a five-year period compared to those with low support levels.

2. Physical Health Advantages

The benefits of emotional support extend beyond mental health. Seniors with strong social networks often exhibit better physical health. Emotional support can encourage healthy behaviors, such as:

Regular Exercise: Companions can motivate elderly individuals to engage in physical activities, improving cardiovascular health and muscle strength.
Better Nutrition: Support can lead to improved dietary habits, as family and friends encourage healthy eating practices.
Adherence to Medical Regimens: Emotional support can help seniors manage chronic illnesses by reminding them to take medications and attend medical appointments.

A study from Health Psychology found that individuals with robust social support systems had better health outcomes, including lower rates of chronic diseases and reduced hospitalizations.

3. Reducing Isolation and Loneliness

Social isolation is a significant risk factor for poor health in older adults. Feelings of loneliness can lead to various health issues, including cognitive decline and increased mortality risk. Emotional support can counteract these feelings by providing companionship and a sense of belonging.

Research conducted by the National Institute on Aging found that seniors who engage in social activities and maintain relationships have a lower risk of cognitive decline and a longer lifespan. The presence of emotional support can foster a more active lifestyle, keeping seniors mentally and physically engaged.

Practical Ways to Provide Emotional Support

To effectively prolong the life of an elderly person through emotional support, consider the following strategies:

Regular Communication: Stay in touch through phone calls, video chats, or in-person visits to maintain a strong connection.
Active Listening: Be present and attentive when they share their thoughts and feelings. Show genuine interest in their experiences.
Engage in Activities Together: Participate in hobbies or activities they enjoy, whether it’s gardening, playing games, or going for walks.
Encourage Socialization: Help them connect with friends or participate in community activities to reduce isolation.
Promote Mental Well-Being: Encourage mindfulness practices, such as meditation or journaling, to help manage stress and improve emotional health.

When Is It Too Late? Coping with Guilt After Losing Someone You Wished You Could Have Helped

Losing someone close to you is always painful, but when that loss is accompanied by feelings of guilt, it can be even more challenging to process. This is especially true when we believe we could have done more to support the person, particularly when it comes to their mental health. If you’ve experienced the death of someone you cared about and now find yourself struggling with regret, it’s important to understand that you are not alone, and that these feelings are part of the complex process of grief.

Understanding the Complexity of Grief and Guilt

Grief is a multifaceted emotion that can include sadness, anger, confusion, and often, guilt. When someone we care about passes away, especially if they were elderly and vulnerable, we may feel a sense of responsibility for their well-being. If, at the time, we were struggling with our own mental health issues, the guilt can be even more profound because we may feel we “should” have been stronger or more present for them.

My Experience: Struggling with Mental Health While Caring for Others

My story is not uncommon. Many people who are going through their own mental health struggles find it difficult to support others as much as they would like. It’s important to remember that caring for your own mental health is not selfish—it’s necessary. When you’re not in a good place yourself, it’s challenging, if not impossible, to be the support system someone else might need. This isn’t a reflection of your love or care for them; it’s a reality of human limitations.

“When you are already caring for a disabled person, taking on the responsibility of supporting another individual can be incredibly challenging. Balancing the demands of caregiving for one person often requires significant emotional, physical, and mental energy, leaving little room to adequately support someone else in need. The stress and exhaustion that come with these responsibilities can make it difficult to provide the level of care and attention both deserve. It’s important to recognize your limits and seek help when needed, as trying to manage everything on your own can lead to burnout and feelings of guilt when you can’t be there for everyone as much as you’d like”.

The Question: When Is It Too Late?

This is perhaps the hardest question to struggle with. We often ask ourselves, “When is it too late?” or “Could I have done more?” The truth is, we can never know for sure. Life is unpredictable, and sometimes, despite our best intentions, things happen that are beyond our control.

However, it’s never too late to honor the memory of the person you’ve lost by taking steps to heal from your guilt and find peace. It’s crucial to understand that while it may feel like you missed an opportunity, you were also navigating your own challenges. We can only do the best we can with the resources and strength we have at any given time.

KAZIMIERA PALUCH (KASIA)

02/09/40 – 19/08/24

Processing Guilt: Steps Toward Healing

Acknowledge Your Feelings: The first step in healing is to acknowledge your guilt and sadness. These feelings are valid, and it’s okay to allow yourself to experience them.
Understand Your Limits: Recognize that you were doing the best you could under the circumstances. Mental health struggles can be all-consuming, and it’s okay that you couldn’t be everything to everyone.
Seek Support: Talk to someone you trust about your feelings, whether it’s a friend, therapist, or support group. Sharing your experience can provide comfort and perspective.
Honor Their Memory: Find ways to honor the memory of the person you’ve lost. This could be through volunteering, donating to a cause they cared about, or simply remembering them in your daily life.
Practice Self-Compassion: Forgive yourself for what you perceive as shortcomings. Remember that being human means having limits, and self-compassion is crucial in healing from grief.

Moving Forward: Transforming Guilt into Purpose

One way to move forward is to transform your guilt into a sense of purpose. Reflect on what you can do differently in the future, not as a way to punish yourself, but as a way to grow. Perhaps you can become more involved in supporting others’ mental health now that you have a better understanding of your own.

Remember that your experience can also help others who might be going through something similar. Sharing your story can be a powerful way to connect with others and offer them the support you wished you could have provided to your mum’s friend.

Dealing with Guilt: My Struggles to Support My Mum’s Friend During Her Cancer Battle

Losing someone close to you is never easy, but when that loss is accompanied by feelings of guilt and regret, the grief can be even more overwhelming. This is the emotional journey I’m currently navigating after the passing of my mum’s friend, who suffered from cancer. I feel partly to blame for not being there for her in her final hours of need, and the weight of this guilt is something I’m trying to come to terms with.

Overwhelmed by Her Suffering, Powerless to Help

When my mum’s friend was diagnosed with cancer, it was a devastating blow. I wanted to be there for her, to offer comfort and support, but I found myself feeling completely overwhelmed by her suffering. Watching someone you care about battle a terminal illness can be emotionally paralyzing, and I often felt powerless to help her in the way she needed. The distance between us—over 200 miles—made it even more difficult, and I was torn between wanting to be there and the reality of my own mental health struggles.

The Struggle of Living with OCD Germ Contamination

One of the most challenging aspects of this situation was trying to explain my own mental health issues to someone who didn’t fully understand them. I suffer from OCD, specifically with germ contamination, which makes it incredibly difficult for me to venture out, especially to places where I feel exposed to potential contamination. This condition, as debilitating as it is, isn’t something easily explained—especially to someone elderly, who may not have ever heard of OCD or fully grasped what it entails.

My mum’s friend was hard of hearing, which made communication even more challenging. She complained often that her hearing aid wasn’t working well, which added to the difficulty. She preferred to use FaceTime to keep in touch, but she didn’t have a smartphone and only had access to a television in her living room. This made it almost impossible to connect with her unless it was prearranged as she found it difficult to navigate the messenger app.

Encouraging Her to Write Her Memories

One of the things that added to my sense of guilt was the fact that she had expressed a strong desire to write her life story. I tried to encourage her to journal her memories or to record her voice, hoping that this could be a way for her to leave behind something meaningful. Unfortunately, despite my relentless efforts to motivate her, nothing came of it. Now, after her passing, I’m left with the sadness of knowing that her stories, her experiences, and her voice are lost forever.

The Guilt and Regret I Carry

The guilt I feel is profound. I regret not being able to visit her, not being able to be there in person to offer the support she needed. I regret that my own mental health issues prevented me from being the friend she deserved in her final days. The distance, the communication barriers, and my OCD all combined to create a situation where I felt helpless and inadequate.

But more than anything, I regret that I wasn’t able to help her preserve her memories in the way she wanted. It’s a loss that feels deeply personal, and I’m struggling to reconcile the fact that I couldn’t do more.

Finding a Path to Healing

As I navigate these difficult emotions, I’m trying to find a way to heal and to forgive myself. I realize that I was doing the best I could under the circumstances, but that doesn’t always alleviate the sadness and regret. I’m trying to remember that sometimes, despite our best efforts, things don’t turn out the way we hope.

I also recognize that guilt is a natural part of grieving, especially when we feel we’ve let someone down. It’s a heavy burden, but I’m learning that acknowledging these feelings is the first step toward healing.

While it may feel like it’s too late to help the person you’ve lost, it’s never too late to work through your feelings of guilt and find a path to healing. Life is full of challenges, and we are all doing the best we can with the circumstances we are given. By acknowledging your feelings, seeking support, and finding ways to honor the memory of your mum’s friend, you can begin to heal and move forward with a renewed sense of purpose and compassion—for yourself and for others. Guilt is a natural part of grief, but it doesn’t have to define your journey. With time, understanding, and self-compassion, you can find peace and continue to live a life that honors those you’ve lost.

While many factors influence longevity, emotional support plays a vital role in enhancing the quality of life for elderly individuals. By fostering strong emotional connections and providing consistent support, we can significantly impact their overall well-being and potentially prolong their lives. As our society continues to recognize the importance of mental health, it becomes increasingly clear that emotional support is not just beneficial but essential for the aging population.

Providing companionship, encouragement, and understanding can create a positive ripple effect, enhancing both the duration and quality of life for our loved ones as they navigate their later years. I also regret not phoning my parents’ friend, Doris Smith a few years back, when she was alive. Doris was an elderly woman who lived in Shrewsbury, the town where I was born. One day, I received the news that she had passed away, and it hit me hard. The guilt of not reaching out sooner lingers, and now, even the thought of returning to Shrewsbury fills me with dread. Places that hold cherished memories become haunting when the people who made them special are no longer there. Visiting graves only amplifies the stark reality that all that’s left are the remains, buried in the ground, a somber reminder of the finality of loss.

Conclusion: It’s Never Too Late to Heal

While I can’t change the past, I can honor my mother’s friend’s memory by being there in the future for others in need, and by taking care of my mental health so that I’m better equipped to support those I care about. The journey through grief and guilt is never easy, but I’m committed to finding a path forward, one step at a time. You should never take people for granted, whether they are young or old, because life is fragile and unpredictable. One day, someone you care about is here, and the next day, they may be gone. It’s important to let the people in your life know that you’re thinking of them, even if it’s just a simple call or message. A small gesture can mean the world to someone, and it ensures that they feel valued and remembered. Don’t wait until it’s too late to show you care—tomorrow is never guaranteed.